tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 28, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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we appreciate your time. right now on jimmy kimmel, david to company. have a great night tonight is about fun. so anything we say, it's nothing that the people themselves won't be able to laugh with. like it's not -- it's been three years with no host. we don't want anybody to go home or have to flinch in their chair. we just want everybody to laugh. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- david duchovny, simone ashley, guillermo on the oscar's red carpet, and music from del amitri. and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hi, everybody. very nice. thank you.
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i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us on, in the aftermath of hollywood's biggest night. and it was a big night last night. i wonder if there's anyone in in the audience who doesn't know what happened last night? if you are one of the few who did not see what happened across the street from us at the dolby theater last night, what happened was this. >> jada, i love you. gi jane 2, can't wait to see it. [ laughter ] that was a nice one. okay. i'm out here -- uh-oh. oh, wow, wow! >> jimmy: wow indeed. the old "hitch" slap. it's now a part of our lives forever. we will never stop talking about
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this. it was so shocking. the only thing i can really compare it to is when mike tyson bit holyfield's ears. even kanye was like, you went onstage d did what? at an awards show? and the weirdest part was that initially, will smith laughed at that joke. >> can't wait to see it, all right? >> jimmy: but then, he must have noticed that jada was not amused. and was uh-oh, i better do something. and boy, did he do something. in one stunning moment the night went from "oscars, so what?" to "oscars, so whaaaaaat?!" no one could have predicted that the most controversial movie of 2022 would be "gi jane." but it was. this was the hollywood version of your drunk uncle starting a fight, ruining the wedding and then standing up and giving a long toast the bride and groom. [ applause ] i was watching like most people
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at home and i said to my wife, they did a really good job with that punch. it looked so real. she was yeah, they did. we realized it was real. which is a shame because we had already written about a page and a half worth of cleavage jokes. and those won't be used. chris rock handled it about as well as you possibly could handle being slapped onstage at the oscars. he didn't even flinch when will slapped him. i would have been crying so hard. after the slap, will cursed him out. chris said, "oh, wow. will smith just smacked the [ bleep ] out of me." will yelled from his seat, "keep my wife's name out your [ bleep ] mouth!" chris said something like, "that was the greatest moment in the history of television." and then went right into introducing best documentary. as if he hadn't just been slapped by the "fresh prince of bel air." and by the way, no one did anything. a whole room of feel, no one lifted a finger. spider-man was there. aquaman was there.
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catwoman, all sitting on their hands. no one helped chris rock. the backstory that we know is, when chris rock hosted the oscars in 2016, this was the "oscars so white" year, will smith wasn't nominated so, his wife jada decided to boycott the show, and chris rock who was hosting the show made some jokes about it. he said jada boycotting the oscars is like him boycotting rihanna's panties. which i'm sure she didn't love. and then, this joke, "gi jane," which seems pretty mild, but what i assume chris rock didn't know, is that the reason jada has a shaved head is because she has a medical condition called alopecia that causes people to lose their hair. she probably thought he was making fun of that. and so, will felt he had to defend his wife, and now, i'm a little bummed because now i've only hosted the second-craziest. [ applause ] i only had like three years to enjoy that. a lot of my friends have been texting me, asking what i would have done if i'd been onstage. i would have run. ask what i would have done. the second i saw will get up out of his seat, i'd have been
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halfway to wetzel's pretzels. enjoying the samples in front of the store. the mood in the room was immediately ruined. it was very uncomfortable. questlove won best documentary, but his moment was ruined. and then, the artist known as diddy took the stage. >> did not know that this year was going to be the most exciting oscars ever. okay. will and chris, we're going to solve that like family at the gold party. >> jimmy: which was nice, except he was introducing a tribute to "the godfather." which is not the family you want to settle it like. so they do the "godfather" thing and everybody's like, a, why is diddy introducing this. and b, what is will going to say if he wins best actor? and of course, he did win best actor. assaulting chris rock and then winning the oscar, it's like storming out the house after breaking up with your girlfriend, then coming back in because you forgot your keys. according to one source, the academy seriously discussed
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having will smith removed from the theater last night. but instead, they decided to let him give the longest best actor speech in history. which, of course, it was the longest best actor speech in history. they weren't gonna play him off, he would have beat the crap out of everyone in the band. the speech was a weird mix of what will planned to say and what he had to say. and was historic in that it was the first acceptance speech in which the winner apologized to the academy before he thanked them. >> i want to apologize to the academy. i want to apologize to all my fellow nominees. >> i like to apologize to everyone except the guy i slapped in the face is really what his speech was. to his credit, he did apologize to chris tonight on instagram. obviously, chris rock did not deserve to be slapped in the face for a joke. will's point of view is he was
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defending his wife, and that's a tough position to be in. it's "damned if you do, ted cruz if you don't." and he probably wishes he had one of those "men in black" memory erasers right now. you know when they gave out the wrong oscar for best picture to "la la land," i was onstage and i wasn't sure of what to do. but denzel washington was in the front and he told me to give the microphone to barry jenkins, which i did. and once again, in times of trouble, there he was, the equalizer. >> in this business you got to be able to have people disrespecting you, and you got to smile and you got to pretend like that's okay. richard williams. thank you, d ryou, d. denzel washington said to me at your highest moment, be careful. that's when the devil comes for you. >> jimmy: that's how you talk after two years of shakespeare. you start saying --
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imagine having that at the tip of your tongue! at your highest moment, that's when the devil comes for you. woody harrelson was like "noooo!" will smith ended his speech by saying he hopes the academy welcomes him back. and if they don't, he'll be waiting for them in the parking lot. the academy announced today that they are doing a "formal review" of the incident. and a spokesperson for the lapd put out a statement immediately following the altercation, that said, "we don't have any details about the incident. as soon as we do, we will make them available to the public." i think we have all the details. the lapd was watching -- "ncis" was on last night. what a crazy night. maybe they should do this at every awards show. "still to come, the grammy for record of the year, and, who will dua lipa physically assault?" bruno mars or olivia rodrigo? find out next on the 64th annual grammy awards!" after the show, a somber will and jada went home to reflect
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and, oh no, wait, he got jiggy with it. really, really jiggy. chris rock went to a party after the show too. i don't know. i wonder how this all shakes out? will released a heartfelt apology just a little while ago. he wrote, "violence in all of its forms is poisonous and destructve. my behavior at last night's academy awards was unacceptable and inexcusable. jokes at my expense are a part of the job, but a joke about jada's medical condition was too much for me to bear and i reacted emotionally. i would like to publicly apologize to you, chris. i was out of line and i was wrong. i am embarrassed and my actions were not indicative of the man i want to be. there is no place for violence in a world of love and kindness." he went on to apologize to the williams family and the academy. and write, "i am a work in progress." sincerely, will." that's good. i'm glad he did that. to me, there's only one more step to make this right, the comedy central roast of will smith, hosted by chris rock! right? i mean --
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i hope they at least get together and have a red table talk or something, because it's a bummer. these are all very kind people. and also, it took focus away from the hosts amy schumer, wanda sykes, and regina hall, who worked hard on this show and were very follow-up funny during the show. and it also distracted us from from guillermo who was at the red carpet last night. every year we send guillermo to the red carpet. boy, this was a good year for yu? >> guillermo: yeah, it was. >> jimmy: it was like people had been pent up, waiting to see you again. >> guillermo: everybody was so happy. >> jimmy: everybody was so happy, before the show on the red carpet with guillermo. ♪ >> guillermo: how are you? timly charle, romy, lupita,
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look, we match. how are you? can i have one question? yeah, come here. one question. come on, lupita. billy, billy, i got one question for you. only one. oh, i got to do live with kelly. [ bleep ] everybody is blowing me off tonight. it's hard this year at the oscars. nicole, nicole, how are you? hi, how are you doing? >> good to see you. >> guillermo: hold on. hold on. wait, you're too hot! how are you doing? hey, will! >> we love you, and tell jimmy we love him too. >> guillermo: guess what i'm wearing? >> what are you wearing? >> guillermo: spanks! can you do me a favor? can you seen my vaccine card right here? i'm getting autograph. >> there you go.
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>> guillermo: right there! >> that's the first time anybody has asked me to sign their vaccine card. >> guillermo: so i'm the first one? >> you are the first. >> guillermo: listen, i want to ask the question from sombrero awkward questions. >> an awkward question. i would expect nothing less. >> guillermo: all right. >> w >> want the say hello to the person that you lost your virginity to? yes, i do. i don't have to say the name? >> guillermo: only if you want to. >> they know who they are. and guess who's sorry now! >> what do you smell like? soup. i think i smell like soup. >> guillermo: soup? >> like chicken noodle soup. i'll give you my spanx after the show. you'll understand. >> guillermo: i have a question. from the sombrero awkward question. and read to it the camera. another one. another one.
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>> i can't. >> guillermo: sorry, sorry. you don't know how to read! khalid doesn't know thou read. >> can you do any celebrity impressions? >> guillermo: let's see them. >> this is my sam jackson >> guillermo: okay. >> who the [ bleep ] put these [ bleep ] snakes on this mother [ bleep ] plane! >> guillermo: wow, that was something. >> if there was a porno version of your movie, what would it be called? the movie is called "king richard". >> guillermo: fantastic! [ laughter ] i don't get the joke. he say what? to say hello to the person you lost your virginity to. >> lost my virginity too? >> guillermo: yeah. >> long dead. >> guillermo: you look amazing. you look great. >> well, i'm glad i chose the
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coat i chose because we would have looked like twins. >> guillermo: you're in the french dispatch, in that movie? do you like french toast? >> it's a great story. do you know the story of french toast? do we have time for this? there is a little kid and his father said you're getting nothing but bread and water. but the people like the house maids in the house decided -- or stale bread and water. they decided they would bathe the stale toast in milk and eggs and sugar and cinnamon, and they made him french toast.pand that. >> guillermo: oh, wow. ♪ listen, you just won the guillermo award. billest. last year i learned the sign of fart. can you teach me all this? >> it's like at home. you catch it. >> guillermo: this year i learned the what?
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[ bleep ] [ bleep ]. >> guillermo: so you go like this and drop it and you go like this. >> let me show you something. you have to eat it actually. you have to eat it. >> guillermo: i'm doing a movie about myself. >> you are? >>. >> guillermo: so i'm the writer, producer, director. >> okay. >> guillermo: and i want you to audition for my movie. >> okay. >> guillermo: action! >> oh, guillermo, that was amazing. you have ruined sex with me. you have ruined sex with anyone else for me. you know what is really great about this line? >> guillermo: yeah? >> i'm queer. you're welcome. >> guillermo: you're going to play my father. >> i'm going play your father? >> guillermo: yeah. >> this is ridiculous. guillermo, don't run into that burning orphanage, it's too dangerous, and you've already saved so many of them. >> guillermo: wow, that was perfect. >> i'm not drunk. the world is drunk. >> guillermo: wow! hold it. >> it's not just a mustache. it's my identity. it's who i am.
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it's my superpower. without it, i am nothing. was that good? >> guillermo: wow, that's very good. >> this is the worst script i've ever read. >> guillermo: thank you. >> guillermo, as your doctor, it's my responsibility to tell you have a medically perfect penis. >> guillermo: wow, that was amazing! >> but it smem smells funny. >> did you see that too? >> no. >> guillermo: can you improvise a kiss now? >> you want a kiss? >> guillermo: yeah. >> okay, come here. [ applause ] >> guillermo: oh my god, look, i got to give you, this is a guillermo. >> oh, thank you. >> guillermo: most sexia. >> thank you. i'm keeping this. i'm putting it on my trophy case. >> guillermo: you promise? all right. thank you very much. oh, my gosh, that was amazing yeah!
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denzel, denzel! denzel, come on! denzel [ bleep ] me again. denzel blow me up again. that was not good the first thing i say that. all right. i'm so excited because of tiffany haddish. i did not say that sound bite. [ bleep ] i say this. blow me off. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. you've done it again, guillermo. >> guillermo: thank you, everybody. thank you. >> jimmy: simone ashley is here. we have music from del amitri. we'll be right back with david duchovny. >> abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by consumer cellular.
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>> jimmy: hi ya. welcome back. tonight from "bridgerton" on netflix, simone ashley is with us. then later, this is their seventh studio album, it's called "fatal mistakes." and you can see them on tour tomorrow night at the roxy here in hollywood. one of my favorites, del amitri from the mercedes-benz stage. tomorrow night, oh, we have a good show tomorrow. donald glover and machine gun kelly will be with us. please join us for that. over the past three decades, our first guest has muldered and californicated the daylights out of us. now you can see him as part of an all-star cast in the first and hopefully last-ever movie about making a movie during covid that was made during covid. "the bubble" premieres friday on netflix. please welcome david duchovny. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how you doing? it's great to see you. you look very youthful. i don't understand how it's
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happened, but it has. >> i don't know either. i really have nothing to say about it. i got a regimen. but it's secret. >> jimmy: did you watch the oscars last night as they happened? >> not as they happened, but i saw -- i saw the important bits. >> jimmy: have you ever personally been punch order punched a fellow performer? >> not a fellow performer. >> jimmy: no? but someone? >> someone, yeah. it should be like your guillermo with the oscar. if i want to say hello who i lost my virginity to, i can say whoever i punched. >> jimmy: you know what? i was thinking about you and you and garry shandling did a great bit when he hosted the emmys. >> yeah, it was the emmys, and i wasn't nominated that year. so i came back as the bathroom attendant. and gary comes in after the monologue. oh, hey, dave. nice to see you here.
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i go it's going really well, gary, going really well. >> jimmy: you guys have a great kind of chemistry. did you know gary before you were on the larry sanders show? >> no. no. i wanted to do that show so badly, and they got you on. oh, gary loves you, gary loves you. and i got there early to watch him work. and he walked by me a number of times. and it was clear he had no clue who i was. he loves you. he loves you. >> jimmy: so they lied to you. >> but it didn't matter. >> jimmy: but then he did actually come to love you. and in fact, there -- well, there was television love because one of the bits that you guys had going on was that there was -- you were sexually attracted to gary or larry. >> yeah. it was an odd kind of thought process where i had the man crush on him. but it was before man crush was kind of a term. and i'm in love with him, but it's not sexual. it's something beyond that. >> jimmy: yeah. and yet. >> it's hard to explain. >> jimmy: you say it wasn't sexual. but as i recall, there was a moment -- >> he was afraid it was sexual.
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>> jimmy: you were wearing a robe. >> i sharon stoned him. >> jimmy: you sharon stoned him. when you shot that -- >> was i stoned? >> jimmy: yeah. sharon stones. >> i was wearing -- no, i wasn't naked under there. i was wearing dark underwear so it looked like a shadow because i didn't want gary to get depressed. [ applause ] >> jimmy: gary will never get depressed. something to worry about. you have a bunch of things going on. you've written your fifth novella actually. what's the different between a novel and novel la? >> a couple of hundred pages. >> jimmy: okay. and what is the title of that? >> that's calls "the reservoir". >> jimmy: you've been writing a bunch of these now. >> i've written four novels, and that's the first novella. >> jimmy: and you are on the road currently with your band? >> no, but i did play a festival in florida in tampa last week. >> jimmy: i have a photograph of that. >> look at that.
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>> jimmy: there you are. >> i got to pull my pants up. they're not the same pants, by the way. a similar color. i'm in an orange burnt kind of a phase right now, rust. >> jimmy: only one outfit. it's very sad. who else -- >> i am wearing the same sneakers, though. [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: who is on the bill you with this? >> green day and incubus. it was outside the football stadium. they didn't let us in. >> jimmy: i see. >> green day and incubus, they played in the evening. i played at 7:30 in the morning. [ laughter ] >> thank you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: was there any crossover between you and green day and incubus? >> in terms of music? >> jimmy: usual at the festivals you're there all day. >> a very nice member of green day came up and said after the
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set i just wanted to come out and see you. i said thank you for waking up at 6:00 in the morning. it was very nice. >> jimmy: he came and watched your set? >> he did. he came and watched my set. >> jimmy: do you remember who it was? >> i do. but i didn't get his name. he wasn't really from green day. >> jimmy: he may have been -- >> now i'm a little sad. >> jimmy: well, did you tell him you think a lot of them too? >> did, of course. of course. >> jimmy: well, we're going to take a break. and when we come back, green day duchovny is with us. "the bubble." we'll be right back. >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by johnnie walker. listen to the new angel city fc anthem, "running with the angels," now available on spotify. [music: sung by craig robinson] ♪ i'm a ganiac, ganiac, check my drawers ♪ [sfx: sniffs / long exhale] ♪ and my clothes smell so much fresher than before ♪ ♪ yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ i'm a ganiac, ganiac, check my drawers ♪
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i'm sorry i skipped your mom's funeral to go to the people's choice awards. >> i'm sorry that i burned down your back office. >> i'm sorry i slept with your agent. >> sorry -- >> and manager, and your divorce lawyer. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's david duchovny in "the bubble." premieres friday on net politics. the great judd apatow directed this and wrote it. >> yes, he did. i met him on the larry sanders show. >> jimmy: that's crazy. somebody you kept in touch with? >> on and off. i did a movie called the tv set ten years ago or so.
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and actually played judd apatow in that film. but that was before anybody who judd apatow was. so it was more than ten years ago. >> jimmy: when judd decided he needed an actor who would make love to his wife, leslie mann, he selected you, which is a compliment, i think. is it? >> i don't know what it is. i think you need a few degrees to figure out what that is. >> jimmy: the movie is -- it's interesting idea because it's a bunch of actors in a hotel quarantining before shooting this movie. and then really staying in this bubble throughout the shooting. but you really did that. >> yeah, we shot in london. we had to be in a bubble. we had to quarantine for i think two weeks. i flew there and i had to stay in my room. >> jimmy: just like in the movie? >> yeah. and we were rehearsing via zoom or whatever. and the funny thing in the movie, we're like part of this big action franchise. and we kind of love and hate each other. and as the movie progresses, we hate each other more and more. and we decide as a group of
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actors that we have to escape from our own movie, basically. >> jimmy: yes, yes. >> like screw this, we've had enough. we got to get out of the bubble. but there are people that are being paid to keep us in the bubble. >> jimmy: did you have -- did anything that was going on in real life reflect any of that? >> all of that. >> jimmy: oh really? >> oh, in terms of -- no, no. but we were -- we were thrust all together. we were the only people that we could kind of relate to without masks and things like that. so all day long, we were just sitting in rooms waiting to go and work. >> jimmy: could you go eat? could you do anything? >> not out, really. but i think it was described to you, i had this little cubby hole system in my hotel room that they had somehow injury rigged. it was kind of like for an animal where they'd open one side of the door, they'd throw food in there and i would like grab the food here. and sometimes i'd try to get the guy's arm. please! look me in the eye! look me in the eye. [ applause ]
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>> jimmy: and in addition to all the stuff that you're doing, you have recorded a public service announcement. >> yes. >> jimmy: somethings that affected you personally? >> yes. it's very near and dear to my heart. i think when people see it. >> jimmy: if you mind? i'd like to show it. >> will you? >> jimmy: i'd love to do that. >> wow, jimmy, that's really kind. >> jimmy: it's entirely my pleasure. let's take a look at what david duchovny cares about most. >> hello. i'm actor david duchovny. every year i hear from thousands of amazing fans. they send me compliments, kind words, ask for autographs, photos. and many of them ask me the same question. so i'd like to answer that question once and for all. no, i will not [ bleep ] your mom. i mean, i'm sure she's lovely, and i'm honored, truly that i am her hall pass. and i believe you when you say she used to do gymnastics and she is an ohio 7, whatever that
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means. but for the 400,000th time, i'm not [ bleep ]ing her. i'm sorry. that also goes for your grandma, your aunt, your uncle, your grandpa, and most importantly, your creepy cousin randy. i do not have the time or frankly stamina to have sex with all your relatives. i know you want to believe, but please, take your mother somewhere else. you know who loves that [ bleep ]? keanu. mark harman too. tell your mother i said what's up. >> paid for by david duchovny. >> jimmy: david duchovny, everybody. "the bubble" premieres friday on netflix. we'll be back with simone ashley. each lasting 4 hours or more, you're not the only one with questions about botox®.
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city football club star ali riley. >> hey guys. happy women's history month! >> jimmy: happy women's history month to you. why were you running in slow motion? >> well, the team at johnnie walker enlisted brittany howard and tia p. to write an amazing new sports anthem called "running with the angels" to celebrate our new team. every time it starts to play, i feel like we just won the championship. so i run in slow motion. >> jimmy: that makes a lot of sense. ♪ >> guillermo: i like it! >> jimmy: wow, i like it too. in fact, let's have a toast to the angel city football club in slow motion. >> to listen to the anthem and learn more about johnnie walker's progress initiatives, visit johnniewalker.com/firststrides.
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historical romance story, season two of "bridgerton" is on netlfix now. please welcome simone ashley. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> how you? >> jimmy: i'm doing great. not as good as you're doing, though. boy, what a thing to have, because "bridgerton," when it came on, it was the most popular show ever on netflix. >> it was pretty popular, yeah. >> jimmy: which makes it the most popular show ever, really. >> i guess, yeah. >> jimmy: how do you find out you're going to be the female lead on the show? >> i was on a movie at the time. and i was in my trailer, and i get a call saying it's kind of secret. you can't tell anyone, but you've got the role. >> jimmy: kind of secret? >> well, yeah. it's very secret. >> jimmy: okay, very secret. >> and i get a note from my trailer calling me to set. i put my phone down, put it on flight mode because it starts
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blowing up. and i go to set. and i'm not allowed to tell anyone. season one had just come out. everyone was talking about it. oh, we watched "bridgerton" season 1 over the weekend. season two.at's happening in - >> jimmy: i don't know what's happening. >> i'm happening in season too. >> i couldn't say that. >> jimmy: the netflix show comes out on one day, on friday. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you feel like your life has changed already? in a minute, do you go from people going i know you to oh my god, i know you. >> well, what was really exciting was i was -- i'm staying in a hotel in l.a. >> jimmy: that is exciting. >> very exciting, yeah. really exciting. i like hotels. and i'm checking in, and they're like oh, you're room is going to be about a 30-minute wait. it's going to be worth it. we're just sorting some things out.
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we're moving rooms, but i think you're going to really like it. okay. sure. and i get into the room. and i open the window toe my balcony, and there is this massive "bridgerton" billboard literally right in front of me. >> jimmy: oh, wow. and you're on it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did they do it on purpose? >> i think so. yeah. >> jimmy: wow. that's a good hotel. >> yeah, it is great hotel. >> jimmy: i never see my face out the hotel. >> i'm doing work calls or whatever, having my breakfast. >> jimmy: and there you are, watching yourself. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you go to any of the oscar parties last night? >> i did. i went to the "vanity fair." >> jimmy: was it everything you imagined it would be? >> you know, yes, it was wonderful. and it's super glamorous, and obviously everyone is there. and everyone is so lovely and having a good time. what was really funny. but no one really talks about is like these uber airports at these big events. so if you don't have a chauffeur or like a car waiting for you, you get an uber.
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>> jimmy: right. >> it's super organized and you go. and then i guess it was on crescent. but on the other side there is fans. and then on this side there is literally just a line of every single person you could think of just on their phones waiting for their ubers. >> jimmy: who did you see waiting for an uber? >> i guess it was betty porter and jhojan nice, and sophie turner. and everyone there. >> jimmy: they were waiting for ubers? >> i guess so. or their like service cars. and i was standing there, this is kind of cool. and there are these fans on the other side of the road just like hit the jackpot. just standing there waiting. >> jimmy: they would have hit a bigger jackpot if they were driving ubers. >> right, yeah? >> jimmy: joe jonas. so that's fun. that was the first time you did that, i assume? >> yes. >> jimmy: do you like being here in the united states? you grew up here part of your life? >> have i family out here in
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ojai, california. >> jimmy: ojai. do you go visit them while you're out here? >> i do. now i feel bad. but busy. >> jimmy: where did you grow up primarily? >> in england. >> jimmy: in england. >> yes. yeah. i moved out of home when i was quite young, and i move -- >> jimmy: how old were you when you moved out? >> i think around 15, 17. >> jimmy: really, 15, 16 years old. you told your parents i'm going? >> i guess so. i mean, they were super suppotive. i think it was a little bit of an intervention when i ended up in l.a. around 17, 18. >> jimmy: right. >> i think that's when -- >> jimmy: wow, to go overseas as a teenager like that to been an actor. that's why you did it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: your parents must have been so upset that you did this. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and yet they let you. which means you must have pestered the bejesus out of them. >> well, i think i just went.
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>> jimmy: wow. how about that. that's crazy. i guess you were right, i guess. >> yeah. yeah, i like that. yes, i was right. >> jimmy: i heard that you give tattoos to people, to others? >> so i tattooed myself. i've tattooed past mates i've worked with before. i was in l.a. over lockdown actually in 2020. and i did all the regular stuff like making banana bread, tie dyeing, all of that stuff. and i thought it would be a good idea to get my own tattoo pen with the needle and everything. >> jimmy: where did you get it? >> online. >> jimmy: online. it's surprisingly easy. i didn't need an id. didn't need anything. i just clicked a button and paid. >> jimmy: did you go on youtube and figure out how to use it? >> yeah. because obviously we're in lockdown. so all the legit tattoo shops are shut. how to do a tattoo at home. and i found this video. and it was like oh, you can use
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this deodorant stick. it has a chemical reaction on the transfer paper and all of this stuff. then it started getting a bit deep. oh, this guy is using some really interesting stuff. and then i looked at his name, and it was called prisontattoo.com. and then i looked at his videos and wow, there is an inmate making videos in prison. this is a fab idea. and then i did it and i followed his instructions. >> jimmy: prison style to yourself. where is the tattoo? >> it's on my ankle. i did a little. >> jimmy: can we see it? can we get a shot? >> that's my little -- >> jimmy: oh, that's your dog. you drew your dog? >> it's a sphinx, an egyptian sphinx. australia dog.i thought it with- well, keep practicing i guess, really. [ laughter ] >> i think it's pretty good. >> jimmy: no, it is pretty good. i just didn't see it. >> i'm left-handed so, my left ankle. >> jimmy: plus, you were in prison, you had no access.
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this is a great skill, by the way, if you ever do wind up in prison. >> i'm doing your tattoo after the show, right? right? >> jimmy: you know i have no tattoos. but if i ever get one, i'm going call you and ask you. would you mind? that's a deal. we'll consider that a deal. season two of "bridgerton" is on netflix now. simone ashley, thank you, simone. we'll be back with del amitri. ♪ >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. all electric, all mercedes.
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care coalition, it's so good to see you all! alright! let's brainstorm. any ideas for new members? i'd like to nominate alaska airlines. this neck pillow i'm dating says great things! a caring airline?! wait, those exist?! it says here they were the first airline to switch from plastic bottles to boxed water. they also hire a lot of people from caring professions. i'm seeing former teachers and nurses. it's settled! alaska airlines is officially in the running!
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round of applause! >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: victorious to david duchovny and simone ashley. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. tomorrow night, donald glover and machine gun kelly. "nightline" is next, but first, their album "fatal mistakes" is out now. here with the song, "all hail blind love," del amitri! ♪ ♪ is this a revival
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or just the last breath ♪ ♪ at the end of the regime people toast our survival as if slogging on is living out the dream ♪ ♪ so hold up your faces left to your devices you'd have killed us off ♪ ♪ we would have never kept going if the going wasn't so damned rough ♪ ♪ all hail blind love all hail blind love ♪ don't assume we've mellowed we still think of one another as a fraud ♪
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♪ such strange bedfellows it's the hatred and resentment you applaud ♪ ♪ so fill up your glasses here's to another thirty years full of wounding each other ♪ ♪ like we just can't get enough all hail blind love ♪ all hail blind love ♪ all hail the trail of failures slights and snide remarks flung with a sneer ♪ ♪ so add your wishes here we can only hope you're both
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this is "nightline." tonight, the slap. >> oh, wow! >> heard round the world. >> wow. >> overshadowing an otherwise historic night. >> we had so much going on, and all we're going to walk away with is the slap. >> what it felt like. >> will smith just smacked the [ bleep ] out of me. >> inside that moment. >> i swear, you could hear a pin drop. like it was eerily quiet. >> and what will smith is saying tonight. plus, escaping ukraine. they survived the nazi holocaust. now in their waning years, facing putin's bombs. >> he cries all the time because it's too difficult for him to srvive in the second time in his life. >> helping another group of the mo
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