jimmy kimmel, the kardashians. have a good night. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, the kardashians, rob gronkowski, and machine gun kelly pranks fans. with cleto and the cletones, and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, appreciate it. thank you. very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us. it is brutally hot outside. it's very hot in hollywood.

it got up to 90 here today. it's april. it's not supposed to be 90 in april. i'm not ready for bikini season yet, are you, guillermo? >> guillermo: no, not yet, jimmy. >> jimmy: my body is not prepared. there's a lot of activity outside our theater. the paparazzi is at defcon one. because the kardashian-jenners are here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] kris, kourtney, kim, khloe, kendall and keiko. is there a keiko? [ cheers ] the kardashians are here, of course, to catch us up on the ongoing conflict in ukraine. [ laughter ] and to talk about their new show on hulu. their old show was called "keeping up with the kardashians." the new one is just called "the kardashians." which is good, because i was having trouble keeping up. to be honest. [ laughter ] their old show was on e! for 20 seasons. which is nuts. [ cheers and applause ] ask anyone at a rave, that's too long to be on e!. [ laughter ] also with us tonight, future football, and party bus hall of

famer, rob gronkowski. [ cheers and applause ] my plan, if all goes well, by the end the night -- who knows, maybe we'll have a second rob in the kardashian family. [ laughter ] khloe is single, right? maybe we'll have a khloe gronkowski. [ cheers ] you know kendall's boyfriend devin booker put an end to the lakers last night. the suns beat the lakers superteam in phoenix, which means they are officially eliminated from playoff contention. which they've lost seven games in a row. it's embarrassing. lakers fans have been wearing their birkin bags over their heads for the last two weeks. [ laughter ] it has been an exceptionally disappointing season and, at this point, the only thing they can do is claim the season was rigged, declare themselves champions, and wait for jfk jr. to come back from the dead and give them their rings. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] or maybe -- and i'm not an expert, but since the rest of the season is pointless, why not field a team of

basketball-playing dogs? [ laughter ] that would be fun, right? all right. in washington there was a rabid fox on the loose outside the capitol. while it looks happy and friendly, six people it bit. one woman had to get medical attention until they finally got the fox into a cage and shipped it off to guantanamo bay. [ laughter ] it was quite an event. the capitol police tweeted a warning, "we have received several reports of aggressive fox encounters on or near the grounds of the u.s. capitol. for your safety, please do not approach any foxes." or friends. [ laughter ] one of the unfortunate bitees was a congressman who said, "i felt somethin lunge, totally unprovoked, right at the back of my leg." and he said, "it's been the most unusual day on the hill in ten years." [ laughter ] yes, with the exception of the day all those nutjobs tried to hang mike pence. but this was a strong number two. [ cheers and applause ]

foxes with rabies running around. the biden administration today announced a new-new round of sanctions designed to punish russia for their war crimes against ukraine. i'm surprised they have any sanctions left. this one targets russian banks and two of vladimir putin's adult children. wouldn't it be something if what finally got putin to stop this was his daughter going, "dad, they cut off my credit card! you've got to do something!" [ laughter ] can you imagine vladimir as a "dadimir"? [ laughter ] seems like he would be a very strict father. when his kids misbehaved, instead of their rooms, he sent them to siberia. [ laughter ] president biden wants russia to be removed from the g20 and has indicated he will not take part in any meetings with them at future summits. and no ipad time unless they shape up. [ laughter ] yesterday, joe welcomed his old boss to the white house, and it seems to have lightened him up. >> it's just so outrageous. that two trillion-dollar tax

cuts the last guy, what was his name? anyway, the last guy. i forgot it, he never showed up for the inauguration, but anyway. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: obama comes back for one day, all of a sudden, biden turns into billy crystal. [ laughter ] yucking it up. "please don't leave, barack. i hate it here!" [ applause ] obama has been busy with a new netflix series called "our great national parks." it comes out a week from today and he seems to be having fun with that. >> hey, everybody. it's your old pal, obama. join me in the celebration of our planet's greatest national parks and wilderness. i know you're going through a lot, and i haven't really been in touch, but come on. look. look at these cute animals. alpacas, cute. oh, flying monkey, super cute. i mean, come on. look at these little guys. oh, woogie, woogie, woogie.

there's a hippo. he's not worried about nuclear war. i call this one o'connell. get it? yeah because of the net. i won't sugarcoat it. the world is going to [ bleep ] in a paint bucket. but animals aren't worried. if that isn't adorable, i don't know what is. look, america. i'm sorry everything blows. but hot bam, this otter is precious! join me in a celebration of our nation's greatest national parks and wilderness until everything is on fire. hey, look. ted cruz! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ed. >> he looks great. i don't know if you heard. twitter yesterday announced a plan to test something they should have done ten years ago, which is adding an "edit" button. that way when you're ted cruz and you accidentally post stepmom porn, you can add the word, "oops!" to the end of it and you'll be fine. [ laughter ] spirit airlines may have a new owner soon.

back in february, spirit announced plans to merge with frontier airlines. yesterday, jet blue swooped in with a better offer. jetblue wants to buy spirit for $3.6 billion plus $55 extra for carry-on. [ laughter ] the jetblue ceo said "customers shouldn't have to choose between a low fare and a great experience, and jetblue has shown it's possible to have both," and spirit airlines has shown it's not. [ laughter ] spirit in real estate terms, is what you'd call a "fixer-upper." it'd be a clash in cultures for sure. spirit is a budget airline, no frills. ever fly spirit? jetblue offers things like free wifi, snacks, drinks and has a real bathroom instead of a bucket that everyone passes around. [ laughter ] senators elizabeth warren and bernie sanders said they were worried about the merger worsening customer service. a spokesperson for spirit just started laughing hysterically until they had to carry her out. [ laughter ] i don't know. this is kind of a bummer for me. if there's no spirit anymore, who are we going to make fun of? [ laughter ]

look out allegiant! you're on deck! [ laughter ] this is a weird story. you know, you hear a lot about life imitating art. but rarely do you hear about death imitating it. >> the trial of romance novelist and nancy brophy, accused of killing her husband in 2018 in the goose hollow neighborhood. abrophy is the author of the 2011 essay "how to murder your husband." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well. they do say, write what you know. [ laughter ] there's an amazing discovery that came out of the university of the west of england, whose researchers say fungi, like yeasts, molds, mushrooms, et cetera, communicate with each other similar to the way humans communicate. mushrooms, i learned from reading this, are not plants or animals. they're like their own thing. when they prodded them with electrodes, they exhibited spikes of cognitive activity that resembled vocabularies of around 50 words. like an eric trump-level

vocabulary. [ laughter ] they were able to determine that mushrooms say "hello," "good-bye," and "for the love of god please stop eating us to get high." [ laughter ] ironically, you know who would find this story most interesting is people on mushrooms, riht? [ laughter ] isn't that crazy? a mushroom might actually be a fun guy! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] anyone speak shiitake? no in? [ applause ] republicans in ohio are busy with the very important business of trying to pass their own version of that florida "don't say gay" law. this is the controversial bill that prevents schools from teaching students about lgbtq+ and gender-related issues. on monday, ohio state representatives mike loychik and jean schmidt introduced a similar bill. imagine stealing your horrible ideas from florida? [ laughter ] plagiarizing a state that leads the world in murders on pontoon boats? it doesn't make sense. and it's especially odd that jean schmidt would be the one to introduce this.

especially since she and elton john shop at the same oversized scarf store. [ laughter ] it's hard to say "oversized scarf store." one more thing. as many of you know, we do the show in hollywood on hollywood boulevard. we decided to have some fun the other day with machine gun kelly. mgk, i call him. he is a very popular music artist, got the number one album in the country. that doesn't mean he doesn't have detractors, he does. so we helped put him in disguise as a mild-mannered reporter. we sent him on the street to ask unsuspecting pedestrians questions about him. ♪ >> i feel like this is what the profile picture of all the people that hate me look like. how do we feel about the oscars? >> it was very dramatic, yeah.

real dramatic. >> we got an accent, where are you from? >> england, this is my first time in l.a. >> have you seen any famous people? >> no, unfortunately not. >> how do you feel about machine gun kelly? >> not a huge fan. >> me either, yeah. >> yeah, i think his new direction is a little forced. >> totally. >> do you think machine gun kelly looks like ellen? >> ellen? >> degeneres? >> no, i don't see it. >> how about now? >> yeah, the hangs for me. >> a couple of beautiful ladies right there. >> yeah. >> machine gun kelly, love him or hate him? >> machine gun kelly. i like his music. i find the whole thing a bit unusual. >> super weird. if he was watching, say something to him right now i'd say, congratulations on the wedding. please don't sacrifice a goat at it. >> how would you describe machine gun kelly in three words? >> um -- maybe wannabe i'm mow,

blond -- >> look at spider-man solving crimes. >> what up, machine gun? >> [ bleep ] spider-man, you're supposed to respect super-identities. how do you feel about machine gun kelly? >> he's cool. i do really dig the last album. >> do you know i'm machine gun kelly? >> i figured that out. >> [ bleep ]. what was it, the moustache? >> the height. i don't know if you remember, i'm the guy who jumped off the roof in venice. >> oh my god, you're him? >> yeah. >> dude, you won mvp of that whole show. >> so appreciate that. >> beyonce, 1 through 10? >> 10, it's queen bey. >> machine gun kelly, 1 through 10? >> 9. >> do you think that machine gun smells? >> no. but, i mean, i don't know, but i would hope not. >> okay, give it a whiff. >> wait, what? no.

>> tell me right now if i smell or not. >> come on, come on. pretty good, my guy, pretty good. >> thank god, thank god. >> i'm going to give him a 10 out of 10. >> that's how he gets the 10! that's how he gets the 10! thank you so much. came out here expecting a lot of hate. but there's a lot of love. so [ bleep ] you, internet. [ applause ] i'm machine gun kelly, have a good night! hello. hello. hello. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks to machine gun kelly. we've got a fun show for you tonight. rob gronkowski is here. and we'll be right back with a whole boatload of kardashians and jenners so stick around!

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back to the show. tonight -- >> guillermo: hold on, jimmy, let me fix it a little bit. right there, perfect. >> jimmy: nutjob. all right. tonight, four-time super bowl champion and host of the nickelodeon "kids' choice awards," rob gronkowski is with us. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, please come back. jason segel and diane kruger with music from the great bonnie raitt. so that will be fun. our first guests combined have nearly a billion instagram followers, enough to form the third most populous country in the world. we call it, "kardash-istan." [ laughter ] their new series, "the kardashians," premieres a week from tomorrow on hulu. please welcome kris, kourtney, kim, khloe, and kendall. the kardashians! [ cheers anduse ] ♪ ♪ ♪

>> jimmy: welcome, welcome. how are you? you look fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] have arrived or something.gers - >> they're here. >> jimmy: how do you figure out who's going to wear what? is there one person who coordinates all the other people? or is it whatever happens, happens? >> we have a group chat and discuss -- just color tones. >> i didn't discuss color tones tonight. >> jimmy: oh, you're not on the group chat. [ laughter ] ness i sometimes ignore the chat. >> jimmy: do you mute, silence the chat? >> i don't -- >> i mute it. >> jimmy: you do mute the chat, yeah, yeah. >> it's a lot. >> i'll check my phone, like, 20 minutes, like, past when someone

starts the chat and there's, like, 200 messages in my phone. >> jimmy: for real, 200? >> 20 minutes of chat. depending on how it's going. >> jimmy: i see, interesting. so there is a whole other reality show within the reality show. >> yeah. >> oh, you have no idea. >> oh, the family group chat is vicious and crazy, and they would love to get their hands on it. >> jimmy: that would be another great show, "family group chat." where we just -- >> change the title to "positive chat." it was becoming vicious. >> jimmy: is that true? >> yes. >> jimmy: i think that happens with every family, probably. kris, you've not been on the show before. >> no, i'm always backstage with one of the girls. whoever is on. so finally, i'm loving this. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i have a question for you. as the mom here, which of your daughters' boyfriends/husbands do you like the most? go ahead. [ laughter ] >> oh, god. well. i'm going to give you the same

answer that i give about which child is my favorite, and it depends on the day. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it depend on this the day, all right. >> depends on the day. >> jimmy: very well put. by the way, i think you're the kardashian of the week, you went ahead and got fake married. [ cheers and applause ] nobody -- well, we didn't know it was fake married. >> it's not called fake married. >> jimmy: it is called that. >> there was no, like, possibility to get a marriage license at that hour. >> isn't everything 24 hours? >> jimmy: in las vegas? >> that's what i thought. i'm like, are you guys lying? we asked, like, five times. what do we have to do to make this happen? >> i feel like when i did it, it was 3:00 in the morning. >> they said, 2:00 a.m., it opens at 8:00. >> jimmy: you wanted to get married for real but were unable did get married for real? >> yes. >> jimmy: that's a twist. >> we did it anyway. it's what's in the heart. >> jimmy: you and travis parker went to a wedding chapel in las

vegas. is there a person or a stuffed thing? [ laughter ] >> it's elvis. >> jimmy: that's elvis, yes, i figured it was elvis, i just didn't know if he was alive or not. [ laughter ] by the way, all the photographers you have surrounding you all the time, this is the picture they got of this wedding. [ laughter ] and did the rest of you know that it was happening? were you -- >> i knew. and khloe knew. >> i was on facetime. >> jimmy: you were on facetime? >> i was sleeping. >> jimmy: you were sleeping. in the morning you wake and up think, my sister went and got married? >> she put it in the group chat. oh, hey, guys, by the way, got married last night. >> jimmy: i see. >> i woke up to like a million texts. >> jimmy: i see, interesting. kim, is this the first time you kissed pete? >> yes, that is. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: another question. what became of this rug? do you have this thousand? seems like you should. >> actually, for valentine's day, he got me the rug and the

whole outfit. >> jimmy: he did? >> and the little genie lamp. >> jimmy: oh, wow, he is very thoughtful. >> yes, i do own the rug. >> jimmy: we had to carry in a huge bouquet of flowers that pete sent here for you. does that make the other boyfriends look bad? >> i didn't know that happened till right now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're going to have to call devin. do you watch devin, like when he broke the lakers' backs and hearts last night? do you watch all his games? >> of course, i watch every game unless i have -- last night i have a dinner. all my friends and family know i sit with my phone wherever i am -- >> jimmy: you become a sports nut because of that? >> yeah, i've always been a fan of basketball, beat with khloe, i remember we used to go to all the laker games when i was really young. so i've been a huge fan of the nba for a really long time. >> jimmy: khloe is now single. and i wonder if the group of you have someone in mind for her that you're pushing her to pursue or meet or any of this stuff. do you? >> i got nothing.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: you got nothing, kris? >> it's really hard to set people up. >> jimmy: in someone? or with khloe? >> i think in general. >> jimmy: why, because you become responsible for what happens? >> yes. >> jimmy: so you've given up on that? >> i don't even think i've tried. [ laughter ] khloe will find her happiness. >> i think it's good to take a breather, too. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i think we don't need to rush it. if something's meant to be, it will be. i like to, let's just simmer, i love being a good mom, work, let's just have a minute. >> jimmy: okay, all right. i'm not pushing anybody on you. >> okay, good. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kris, which of the daughters do you believe will be most capable of taking over the family business should you choose to retire or you get sick of them? [ laughter ] >> my daughters or my granddaughters? >> jimmy: oh, that is -- you're going to skip a generation? >> yeah, why not? i think it could be a combined -- i think all the granddaughters and the grandsons should get together and just form, like, a little agency. >> jimmy: that's a nice idea.

by the way, we have a graphic here i want to show. i wonder whose idea this was. for khloe and kris to build houses right next door. i assume you knew this was happening? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what are the pitfalls of that? >> well, my mom will only have her dog use the restroom on my property. [ laughter ] well, it's a factand it's really annoying. it's bizarre. she acts like, i didn't know that's happening over there. but i saw them on my security cameras of only letting her dog ushered to my side of the house. >> jimmy: you have to disable those cameras, yeah, for sure. >> she'll ask if any car goes up my driveway at any hour, she'll text me, hey, i just want you to know i'm home. and she's just fishing. or she'll be like, whose car is this? they actually be most of the time people for her house, but she's so nosey.

>> i'm the nosey neighbor. >> jimmy: interesting. >> i didn't think this all the way through? you guys wouldn't do that? you wouldn't think of having mom right next door? >> i was across the street for years. >> jimmy: and what happened? >> um -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you ended that, right? >> christmas lights outside were really annoying. >> jimmy: i have something -- >> oh god. >> jimmy: this is for you, cloeclo khloe, and travis. >> is it alive? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, it's not alive. yes it's going to poop. this is -- maybe it's premature. but i'm realizing maybe it isn't premature. this is a set, i don't know if you have china yet. >> no. >> jimmy: we went ahead and put -- >> that's so nice. [ applause ] >> jimmy: on china. and you can see, like if you have guests over. [ cheers and applause ] if you have a very fancy dinner party. >> that's so cute. >> jimmy: you've taken all these photographs from your

relationship. >> oh my gosh. >> jimmy: and finally, look at this we got one just right from your special day. [ cheers and applause ] so that's for you guys. >> thank you. i'm actually obsessed with that. >> that's so funny. >> jimmy: we'll get you as many as you need. >> i think you got khloe on pumpkin or something? >> this is better. yeah, i did -- i remember the pumpkin, yeah. >> she gets plates, i got a freaking pumpkin? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we'll get you some plates too. the kardashians are here. they show premieres april 14th on hulu. we'll be right back!

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to me, that's what's so exciting is that side of our lives. people don't see, like i meaned out the play room today. that kind of stuff gets me -- makes me horny, to literally clean out my [ bleep ]ing play room. my mom will get that. if you have a clean play room, oh my god, like, you can sleep at night. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i understand. i think cdads understand too. that's the new show, "the kardashians" on hulu. what can you do on hulu that you couldn't do on e! ? anything? >> i think it's stricter because it's disney. >> jimmy: really? interesting. >> we can't curse. >> we can't do the f-word. why do you keep bleeping my f-word? it's my favorite word. like, it's disney. [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> get it out now. >> get it out.

[ applause ] >> jimmy: do you ever go back and watch old episodes? is that something that ever happens? >> i love it. >> there was an episode of khloe once, i think kourtney, they were in an elevator. kourtney, or khloe, flashed her boobs. in the u.s., they put a black thing there. and i guess all over the rest of the world, they let it shine. [ laughter ] and that was something that when i was watching back the other day -- >> don't draw attention to that. >> jimmy: now they put mickey mouse heads on them or something. >> the voices are totally different which is crazy. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> our voices. >> jimmy: you were kids, yeah, like home movies that are very well edited and shot, it's strange. what we've done is come up with a collection of quotes. these are things you guys have said at various times throughout the years. we're wondering if you can remember who said what, okay? so we went to the farmers' market here in l.a., we got some older people to read the quotes. [ laughter ] so now they are going to read

them, then we will find out who said it. here we go. >> first of all, i'm incredibly athletic. >> so [ bleep ] you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, so that was probably bleeped. who said that? first of all, i'm incredibly athletic, so f-u. >> maybe khloe? >> khloe. >> jimmy: you all say khloe? that is correct. all right, next? >> i'm going to sew up my vag vagina. >> mom. >> sew up my vagina? >> me? >> sure. >> yeah, probably. >> i said that? >> jimmy: you say mom, you say kris? let's see what the video says. >> i'm going to sew up my vagina. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a very special episode of the show. next up? >> holding your pee is no way to live life. >> oh. that has to be me. >> i was going to say, that's

you. >> yeah. >> kourtney. >> kourtney's a public peer. >> i am. >> jimmy: well, let's see what the tape says. >> holding your pee is no way to live life. >> so cute! >> oh my gosh. >> i hardly even remember. >> jimmy: you are sisters, you have the same philosophy bladder-wise. [ laughter ] >> you're acting like drunk slob kabobs. >> kourtney. >> kimberly. >> kourtney. >> kimberly. >> really? >> because you would call us drunk slob kabobs. >> true. kim, final answer. >> jimmy: final answer is? >> kimberly. >> kim, let's take a look at the video. >> acting like drunks on kabobs. >> me! >> we don't even know what we said. >> i was right. i remember that. >> jimmy: what was the situation? do you remember the situation? >> robin scott. >> robin scott drunk in vegas. slob kabobing it up. [ laughter ] >> you're just so jealous that you couldn't get a bentley and you're trying to ruin my moment

for me. >> you! >> me. >> jimmy: yeah, well, sure. >> you are just so jealous that you cannot get a bentley and you're trying to ruin my moment for me! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i can't tell you how many times i've said that to my siblings too. >> so ridiculous. >> i know. >> jimmy: this one's a tough one, here we go. >> every time i get excited, i have to poop. [ laughter ] >> that's nobody. >> nobody would say that. >> who would say that? >> no one would say poop. >> so excited i have to poop. >> jimmy: oh, that was a different show, that was snooki, you're right. boy, you guys really know each other's vocabulary. you don't use that word? >> no. >> we don't have to say that. >> ever, ever. >> jimmy: very classy, all right. [ laughter ] >> you're going to die anyway, you understand that. so die with a good snapchat going through. >> oh, khloe. >> khloe, yeah. >> khloe. >> jimmy: these are wise words. let's see.

they say khloe. >> you're going to die anyway, you understand that, right? die with a good snapchat going through. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you see that embroidered on something. all right, we have one more. >> you want your [ bleep ] potatoes? here are your potatoes. >> oh, no. >> [ bleep ]. >> yes. >> i didn't say the f-word. >> jimmy: you said it right now. >> or me, it was us with the potatoes and khloe in the backyard. >> oh! >> i'm thinking of the flowers. >> no, was it me or you? >> it was one of us. >> when you guys got into the fight? >> no. >> i think you said it. >> at kourtney's house in the backyard. >> really? okay. >> jimmy: who? >> i guess it's me. >> jimmy: well, let's find out. >> you want your [ bleep ]ing potatoes? there are your potatoes. >> it was you! >> jimmy: all right. well, i'm glad we got to the bottom of the potatoes mystery. well, first of all, i want to say on the behalf -- on behalf of the disney family, welcome.

[ laughter ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you to hulu, abc, et cetera. we're very happy to have you. the new show is "the kardashians" that premieres april 14th on hulu. the kardashian-jenners, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with rob gronkowski. all these other things too. it can all add up. kesimpta is a once-monthly at-home injection... that may help you put these rms challenges in their place. kesimpta was proven superior at reducing the rate of relapses, active lesions, and slowing disability progression vs aubagio. don't take kesimpta if you have hepatitis b, and tell your doctor if you have had it, as it could come back. kesimpta can cause serious side effects, including infections. while no cases of pml were reported in rms clinical trials, it could happen. tell your doctor if you had or plan to have vaccines,

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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. our next guest also comes from a large family, probably too big for television. he is a four-time super bowl champion who cohosts the "kids' choice awards" saturday on nickelodeon. please welcome rob gronkowski. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how is your life going, everything all right? >> everything's going well, man. >> jimmy: did you meet any of

the kardashians, did you marry any of them backstage? [ laughter ] >> no, i didn't get -- >> jimmy: do you watch that show? >> i've seen it many times. my girlfriend turns it on, laying in bed, seeing them go to miami, the hamptons and everything. >> jimmy: they go to a lot of places. then they sit and they talk. >> yes. >> jimmy: what's the show -- you guys watch tv in an nfl locker room? what's the show that's popular there? >> when you're in an oregon, when you're at the facility, every tv is sports channel. there's five different sports channels going on, ten different shows going on at a time. you go in the training facility, they have one station on. you go to the weight room, they have another station on. it's all sports when you're in the facility. i swear, you're like, turn that off, turn something else on! we're here all day. but it's the nature of how it works. >> jimmy: do you guys watch "horde knocks," hbo show? >> i was a big fan growing up in high school. >> jimmy: wow. >> yes. i remember the cincinnati bengals were on it when i was in high school. it was my favorite show ever to watch. i swear, when you watch -- even

movies that involve football, football movies, even high school, all the way to pro levels, they make it look like these guys are just unstoppable. you're like, i could never play in the nfl. these guys are beastly. they show them when they're looking extremely ripped, the guy bench pressing 500 pounds. i'm like, i'm never going to be able to play in the nfl. >> jimmy: interesting. >> yeah, sometimes intimidating to watch "hard knocks." >> jimmy: even when you're you? >> yeah. they make it look like it's impossible to beat that team, you know. >> jimmy: right. >> you know what i'm saying? >> jimmy: i understand. you brough your family to the show a couple of times here. what are your brothers names? let's go through them by size. [ laughter ] smallest to biggest. >> the smallest, it's a two-way tie between my two brothers. they both played fullback in the nfl, they both look alike. we call them twins. they both have the same hair too, they're both losing it. [ laughter ] they're about 6'3". they're both stocky.

>> jimmy: and they are? names? >> kris and glen. >> jimmy: kris and glen. >> they're the smallest. i have two other brothers. the two other ones are about 6'6", and the one's 260, the other 230. >> jimmy: and they are? >> they are dan and gordy. >> jimmy: and now you got dan and gordy, you got these guys. are you the only one who got the nickname gronk? because it's all their last names. >> yes. what's crazy about that name, the nickname gronk, i was never called gronk my whole entire life until i got to the nfl. then boom, since my rookie year, since the first time i stepped into the patriots building, they were calling me gronk. my older brother, dan, he was gronk our whole life growing up. so it was weird. gronk? i'm like, that's my brother's name. after three weeks it stuck. and i just accepted it. and from here on out, i've been gronk. >> jimmy: you don't have a choice. >> no choice, yeah. >> jimmy: in a way it's like a cave man noise. gronk! [ laughter ] your family was destined to be

these big, physical guys. >> yes. >> jimmy: and now are you guys still traveling around on the bus and partying and all that stuff? >> yes. actually. [ laughter ] yes, once in a while. when we get together. i mean, we all -- one brother lives in dallas, the other is in buffalo, one's in boston. we're all over the place. whenever we get together, it's always a good time. >> jimmy: how often are you working out right now? >> i do two or three times a week. >> jimmy: two or three times a week. what about when you're really getting ready for the season? how much do you work out? >> when you're really getting ready, i try to prepare myself. once training camp hits, that's every single day. but a typical two, three times a week. when i just do it two, three times a week, i just go hard, full-out. >> jimmy: same here. [ laughter ] >> do full body. >> jimmy: same here. >> i can tell, looking good. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm trying to trick you into finding out if you're planning to play next year. >> i see what you're doing. >> jimmy: i got nowhere with it, so i figured i'd just admit it.

when tom brady unretired, did he call you and tell you it was going to happen? >> he shot me a quick text. and i was like, oh, it's the day before -- what's that the free agency period where everyone starts signing. there he goes again. [ laughter ] the day before free agency, he's unretiring, so everyone stays in tampa. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you weren't surprised, were you? >> no, i was not surprised at all. i was surprised how quick it was. because i thought he was possibly going to take a year off. or something like that. >> jimmy: maybe come back? >> maybe come back after that. i believe he'll have it until at least 50 years old. i see his work ethic day in, day out. it's second to none. >> jimmy: do you feel any responsibility to be in there with him? like batman and robin? or starsky and hutch? or siegfried and roy? >> peanut butter and jelly? [ laughter ] bread and butter, yeah. we'll keep going. a little bit, you know. >> jimmy: a little bit?

>> just because, you know, that duo, man. it's so hard to get that connection. especially in the nfl world. i mean, it doesn't last that long. >> jimmy: right. >> you see someone have that connection for 11-plus years, i mean, it's definitely in the back of my mind. it's not really, like, you know, do i want to be there? like, it's about playing the game. like, i want to be there with the guys. that's the best part, being part of the team. >> jimmy: right. >> do i want to do that week in, week out schedule? i mean, it's a brutal game for sure. >> jimmy: it's brutal. >> i'm blocking guys sometimes at 300 pounds in front of me, coming full speed, smashing me. i'm catching a pass up the middle, right when i catch it, they're smacking me legs to shoulders. i'm getting decked. >> jimmy: that doesn't happen to other people at their jobs. [ laughter ] >> no, not that often. i do love that, but it can get grueling for sure. >> jimmy: this is something that doesn't happen either. towards the end of last season, you needed, what, two more catches to hit some bonus? what was it, $1 million or something like that? >> yes, yes, it was.

>> jimmy: yeah. >> this happens to be -- >> jimmy: you happened to get this moment on video. you need tom, who's about to go out of the game, then he decided to stay in -- well, let's take a look. >> all right. >> need one more! if i don't get this, i have to get a real job. >> what does that mean? cha-ching, gronkowski has his bonus. >> thank you. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it really tickles me that that goes on. have you seen that sort of stuff happen before, guys know they need one more to hit some performance bonus? >> yes, i've seen it before. not with the patriots. they'll probably pull you before you hit that bonus. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, right. [ cheers ] i shouldn't have said that. >> jimmy: no, you shouldn't have said that, but you did say it, i'm glad you did. >> you're welcome. but no, no, with the bucs, i

mean -- no, they're down, you know, you know, for the players to collect all their money if they possibly can, which is great. but i've seen it the year before, the bucs did it with a certain wide receiver that was no longer with the team. they did it the year before. >> jimmy: were you a little bit extra nervous with that pass? or no? >> not really. because -- it was actually a play that was designed, like, ride on the sidelines. okay, how can we get rob to catch the easiest play? [ laughter ] so it was like, all right, let's motion him across. then let's just run flat. so i had to run one or two yards. [ laughter ] it wasn't like a deep pass at all. he was just going to dump it to we drew it right up there. actually, i'll not going to lie, i actually false started on the play. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, if you rewatch it, if you go forward a little bit, i forgot the name of that term, but it's a false start. it's a false start and i was so excited for the catch, like come on, come on, tom! and i accidentally moved forward, but i think we were

just winning by so much at the time the referee was like, all right, we got to keep the clock rolling. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: lucky you, that works out. now you're doing something very different. you're hosting "the kids' choice awards" on nickelodeon. you're going to get slimed and all that stuff, right? that still happens over there? >> yeah, it really, really happens a lot. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hosting with miranda cosgrove. >> yes. >> jimmy: have you been working on this? >> yes, a little bit. we had a promo shoot a couple of weeks ago in new york city. it was the first time i met her. she's unbelievable to work with. i feel like we have that connection wear we can work together very well. >> jimmy: if this goes well, would you like to host the oscars? [ laughter ] that seems like the next natural step. >> that's a hot job, yeah. >> jimmy: and nobody's slapping you, i'll tell you that. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] that would be pretty dope. >> jimmy: that would be the end of them. >> yeah, i can have a contest, who wants to come and try? >> jimmy: line up, boys! [ cheers and applause ] rob gronkowski, watch "the kids'

choice awards" saturday night live on nick yode lan. we'll be right back. care coalition, where are we on alaska airlines? we found that people are raving about their customer care. i mean, take a look at this! wow! [dog barks] says here they have the most flights from the west coast. they fly to chicago, hawaii, cancun! wow! do they fly to my magical faraway kingdom of care-a-lot, way up in the clouds where anything is possible? they have direct flights to vegas.

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kardashian-jenners, machine gun kelly. apologies to matt damon. tomorrow night, jason segel and diane kruger with music from bonnie raitt. "nightline" is next. thanks to this man, rob gronkowski. attention, if you are in the los angeles area, we are about to release gronk. please take any appropriate safety measures that you need to. [ laughter ] thanks for watching. good night, everybody!

♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, without a trace. >> she left, she never came back. >> a young mother and child disappear. their family still left with questions 23 years later. > what can i do? what can i do? i would turn up empty-handed. >> we're with the good samaritans, adventures with purpose. diving to get answers. >> how can we get out again, when can we go and help more people? >> inside, how this duo cracks open decades-old cold cases. plus the kardashians back in the spotlight, shining brighter than ever, sitting down with robin roberts, taking us behind the scenes from chloe and tristan's breakup -- >> he's just not the guy for