for mike nico larry villalobos here on dana ashley. we appreciate your time. hope you have a mmel live!" lywood, it's "jimmy tonight -- bill burr, moses ingram, and music from trixie mattel featuring shakey graves. with cleto and the cletones. and now -- jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, welcome. i'm jimmy. well, thank you. very nice. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i am the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] we are back to work after a long and beautiful weekend here in sunny southern california. guillermo is back from covid quarantine. [ cheers and applause ]

>> guillermo: yeah! i love you, jimmy. i missed you. >> jimmy: don't ever leave me again, you little -- >> guillermo: i missed you so much. >> jimmy: like one of those squishy toys. [ laughter ] feeling good? >> guillermo: feeling great, jimmy. >> jimmy: tested negative. you were out the whole week last week. be honest. how many times did you watch the show last week? >> guillermo: [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no? >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: no times? why was that? why do you think? >> guillermo: i don't know. i go to bed early. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, boy. well, what are you going to do, you know? i'm glad you're here. i'm glad everyone is here. you know, thousands of flights were canceled over the weekend because of covid and other issues. but the airlines say most passengers who got delayed were booked on later flights. which is fine, but here's where this is not fair. when we try to change a flight, even when we have covid, there's a fee for making changes, a penalty. you have to pay like 200 bucks.

shouldn't it go the other way, too? [ cheers and applause ] oh, you're moving me? okay, that's fine. i do charge a fee for any changes, that's my policy. i'll take your credit card number when you're ready. [ laughter ] in texas this weekend, the nra held their annual meeting of the mindless three days after the shooting that claimed 19 children and 2 teachers in uvalde, texas, less than 300 miles away. but you wouldn't want to lose that security deposit, would you? so despite the shameful timing of this event and the event itself, thousands of nra members showed up to support their sticker. including this lovely couple who do not believe we have a gun problem. >> it's a demon possession problem. we don't need gun control, we need demon control. >> jimmy: right, right. what if the democrats force a vote, on a bill that restricts demons from buying weapons? [ laughter ] how would the republicans vote on that? i mean, that's a tough one. you start saying demons can't carry guns, next you have to

vote on goblins. can goblins carry guns? [ laughter ] chupacabras? and the babadook? [ laughter ] it's a slippery slope. speaking of demons, ted cruz was on hand -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: -- in houston to spread his slime all over the nra-holes. senator cruz had an unpleasant dinner at a sushi restaurant in houston where a man confronted him about this idea that he seems to be okay with the fact that an unbalanced teenager shot up a school, because his plan is to do nothing about it. ted cruz must know that at this point, every busboy spits in his food, right? [ laughter ] maybe that's what he likes about eating out? i don't know. [ laughter ] i, for one, hope ted cruz never gets to eat peacefully at a restaurant again. but the truth is, senator ooze does have a plan. a plan he shared with the gun-crazy conventioneers. >> the shooter in uvalde got in the exact same way the santa fe shooter did. he walked through an unlocked backdoor.

into an open classroom. we need serious funding to upgrade our schools. to install bullet-proof doors and locking classroom doors. >> jimmy: spoken like a real knob! [ laughter ] and by the way the school in uvalde already had heavy-duty, locking doors. that's how the killer kept the police out. the police had to get a janitor to give them keys to unlock it. any other bright ideas, dumbass? wouldn't it be a shame if people started piling their old doors up on ted cruz's lawn? oh, man, i would hate to see -- imagine if there were so many doors in front of his door, he couldn't get out the door? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i mean, something to think about, you know? ted cruz was not the star of the event. that distinction went to our former president, who busted out his "serious guy teleprompter voice" to offer this expert opinion on what needs to be done. >> we need to make it far easier to confine the violent and mentally deranged into mental

institutions. we have also very importantly got to deal with the problem of broken families. because no law can cure the effects of a broken home. >> jimmy: yeah, that's right. the deranged narcissist who had children with three different women -- [ laughter ] -- is lecturing us about mental illness and broken homes. [ laughter ] he called for "impenetrable security at every school all across our land." he wants it to be harder to enter a school than it is for him to enter melania. [ laughter ] and it should be noted that -- [ applause ] it should be noted that, because donald trump was at the nra convention, no guns were allowed in the arena where trump was speaking. you know, you think with all the good guys with guns there, he'd be fine. but i guess in this case, no. trump and cruz and all their fellow sewer-dwellers are working overtime this week to shift the blame from what is obviously an over-abundance of dangerous semi-automatic weapons to a variety of issues they have no plans to do anything about

either. >> there's a record number of school shootings across the country. something's going on out there. >> i agree with you. i don't think it has anything to do with guns. >> this day and age, kids are afraid of being the school snitch. >> this child that did this horrible act was confused. dressing up like a girl. >> declining church attendance. social media bullying. >> pardon schools. there should be one entrance in, one entrance out. >> we have to harden these targets so no one can get in. >> classroom doors should be hardened. >> violent online content. >> some of them playing their violent video games where they kill hundreds of people a day. >> they have blankets you can put up on the wall that are colorful and beautiful but they're ballistic blankets. >> man traps. traps the shooter like a rat. >> what stops armed bad guys is armed good guys. >> best thing we can do for our children is to protect them with good guys with guns.

>> the only thing that stops the bad guy with a gun is the good guy with a gun. >> the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. have you ever heard that? no, you've never heard that. >> it's a demon possession problem, not a gun possession -- we don't need gun control, we need demon control. >> jimmy: well, those two make more sense than any of the rest of them! [ applause ] in between blaming the latest tragedy in an ongoing series of them on everything but the nra and guns, trump had the audacity to read the names of the victim, and then once he was done reading the names, closed things out the way only he can. ♪ hold on i'm coming hold on i'm coming ♪ >> jimmy: they were giving him a round of applause, what's he going to do, not dance? [ laughter ] then trump busted a move to a rally in casper, wyoming, as part of his effort to unseat fellow republican liz cheney. they brought all the maggots out for that one, including

congresswoman lauren boebert of colorado. >> president trump shared a bowl of popcorn with my 14-year-old son. >> jimmy: wow. pizzagate! that sounds like a pizzagate to me, right? those buttery nubs! lauren boebert, as empty as that head of hers is, comes second on the witless list to fellow congressdummy marjorie taylor greene. who once again proved, that she is one of our nation's clearest, and most exhilarating thinkers. >> you have to accept the fact that the government wants to provide surveillance on every part of your life. they want to know when you're eating, they want to know if you're eating a cheeseburger, which is very bad because bill gates wants you to eat his fake meat that grows in a peach tree dish, so you'll probably get a zap inside your body, no, no,

don't eat a real cheeseburger, you need to eat the fake burger, the fake meat. >> jimmy: the stuff he grows in a peachtree dish. bill gates uses peach tree dishes in all his science ex-spearmints. i mean, of all the stupid things she's said gazpacho, jewish space lasers, the woman is from georgia, you'd think she had know what peachtrees are. [ laughter ] but please, marjorie, go on. >> they probably also want to know when you go to the bathroom and if your bowel movements are on time or consistent. i mean, what else do these people want to know? >> jimmy: by the way, if you'd like to purchase a peachtree dish, i'm going to be selling these on etsy. [ cheers and applause ] all proceeds will be going towards teaching marjorie how to speak english, so that will be nice. there you go. at the white house today, president biden hosted the boy band from korea, bts, for what was undoubtedly a very confusing afternoon for joe. [ laughter ] i would want a nine-part documentary about the white house staffers who had to

explain what bts is to joe biden. [ laughter ] is that the sandwich with the bacon and the lettuce? no, mr. president. there's turmoil at the supreme court right now. the chief justice has ordered an investigation, into the leak of a controversial draft opinion. that seems to indicate the court will overturn roe v. wade. 64% of americans say they support roe v. wade. it has been the law of the land since 1973. overturning it would be devastating for women's rights and for personal freedom in general. it's something we should all be paying attention to but that's not always how this country works. in fact, it's not ever how this country works. so we went out on the street and asked men passing by to give us their thoughts on the big mma fight this weekend between roe and wade. [ laughter ] and the results are this. >> this weekend was the big mma heavyweight fight, roe versus wade. describe that fight for us.

>> oh, man. wade, he was talking all type of stuff, like he was something, he wasn't nothing. he got it right in the kisser, he's out. >> who did you like, wade or roe? >> go for wade, yeah, definitely. >> you like wade? >> yeah, doesn't care about if he's going to get knocked out, he goes in he's ruthless. >> who did you watch that fight with? >> i was by myself. >> did you watch it with any women? >> oh, the fight? >> yeah. >> actually, there was a woman there, yeah. okay, there was. >> what did she think of the fight, roe versus wade? >> well, she wasn't as impressed. she was mostly on her phone, on instagram. >> people are calling the fight the ruckus in the uterukus. [ laughter ] do you think it lived up to that name? >> the ruckus in the uterukus? definitely. i like the ring to it. >> we're talking about the big mma heavyweight fight last weekend, roe versus wade. who did you have in that fight, who were you rooting for? >> i want to say wade.

>> what did you like about wade? >> just like his attitude. his determination. >> were you surprised to see those two still going at it so many years later? >> no. like, people hold grudges. >> some people are saying the judges are out of touch and they shouldn't decide a fight like this, what do you think? >> i think the judges are out of touch. did you've never been in a fight in your life, you can't determine what's going on in a fight. >> you want to sing a song about your dog? ♪ dogs rule the world but there's still room for the cats ♪ ♪ don't mean it like that all praise to the alien baby ♪ >> who are you rooting for, roe or wade? >> wade. >> show me your uncle's reaction when wade knocked out roe, what did that look like? >> he had to pull it up on youtube for me. i wasn't in the house at the time. i come back and he's all like -- i walk in the door, he looks behind me at his chair, he's like, "you should have seen it." [ laughter ]

>> in your opinion, in what round did the fight become viable? >> the first round. it's always viable. >> in the first round? >> that's when punches are thrown. that's when you realize it's real. >> what are women saying about that fight, roe versus wade? >> i don't know, women don't really talk to me that much. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't believe that for one minute. thanks, fellas. we have a good show for you tonight -- rom "obi-wan kenobi," moses ingram is here. [ cheers and applause ] we've got music from trixie mattel featuring shakey graves, and we'll be right back with bill burr. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we love our new apartment. plenty of parking, big closets — there's too much pressure in the bathroom. hey...good luck with the future in-laws tonight. don't overthink it. but don't underthink it. don't talk about your cover band. don't talk about your fantasy team. don't talk about your cats. you're gonna do great! at least geico makes bundling our renters

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there.

welcome back to the show. from "obi-wan kenobi" on disney plus, moses ingram is with us. [ cheers and applause ] her double lp "the blonde & pink albums" comes out june 24th and she has a show on discovery plus called, "trixie motel" starting friday. trixie mattel featuring shakey graves from the mercedes eq stage. [ cheers and applause ] on thursday night, we are in primetime as we are each year around this time for the return of "jimmy kimmel live game night" ahead of game one of the nba finals on the east coast. after the game on the west coast. our guest will be adam sandler. please join us for that. our first guest tonight is one of the funniest people there is. you can listen to his podcast and see him live on the "slight return" stand-up tour where, on august 21st he will become the first comedian to headline fenway park. please say hello to bill burr. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> all right! thank you! >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. i was watching that game, that game seven. >> uh-huh? >> jimmy: and i was thinking about you. and i was wondering if you were -- like when you watch a celtics game seven like that, are you quiet? do you go crazy? do you celebrate? what do you do? >> no, i have kids now. so i can't watch the whole game. because -- >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> no, i can't. because i'll flip out. i also think the nba is sort of low-key rigged. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> really. yeah. why does that surprise any nba fan? i don't know how many times you can watch a game, a team goes up by 20, right? then all of a sudden, ticky-tack foul, ticky-tack foul action they're in the penalty, the other team's going to the line. their job's to get it down to 5 to 7 at halftime. an espn talking head comes on, "i'll tell you right now, i'm really concerned about that team that used to be up by 20, is now only up by 5."

it gives you that idea, what's going to happen? the first half of the third quarter is for the players. the referees assess what they need to do to make it come down to the final two minutes. so you watch the first quarter, they let the teams play. second quarter belongs to the refs. and from half of the third quarter on. that's just my belief. i've said it is rigged forever. and when a mobbed-up ref came out, people, oh, it's just one guy. just one guy, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> just one guy. if you were officiating a game, and i'm shaving points, how many games does it take before you pull me aside? hey, bill, what's going on with you? you got some stuff going on? story, i'm saying there's no santa claus, i apologize. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think a lot of people agree with that. but i also think that when you win, you put that aside. you go i'm not going to say it's rigged. the celtics are going to the nba finals. >> we flipped the script this year. [ laughter ]

i don't think it's 100%. i'm just saying that they -- it's massaged. >> jimmy: i see. i know exactly what you're saying. >> to be exciting. it's just -- the refs just have way too much power. >> jimmy: okay. >> i think when you have a sport where an official can literally take a star player out of the game by giving them two quick ones in the first quarter, that's an incredible amount of power. you can't take tom brady out of a game, you know, you can't take these guys out. i guess you can eject someone. >> jimmy: yeah, you could. >> why did i do that? [ laughter ] i was supposed to come out here -- >> jimmy: you're supposed to be happy. do you have trouble with happiness? is that hard for you? >> i'll tell you what bugged me was your fake concern there. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the way he leaned in, squinted your face. "do you have trouble being happy?" no, i have a great time being happy as long as nobody asks me that [ bleep ] question. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] yeah. i don't know. what do i have to do to convince people that i'm not walking

around in a rage? but if you say something stupid, you know, i'm going to look at you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you are performing at fenway park. you are doing comedy at fenway park. >> yes, i am. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: which i assume -- that's got to be -- i mean, nobody's done that before. as a guy from boston, that's got to be incredible. >> yes. i'm trying to block that out, how insane that's going to be. >> jimmy: how many tickets is that, how many seats? >> i don't know, i've blocked the whole thing out. i'm just like, i have a gig in boston in august and i'm just going to try to, you know, go out there, you know -- people like, you should do something, you should have one of the red sox come out on stage! it's like, why, why would i do that? just stick to what i'm doing. tell my jokes. and hopefully -- >> jimmy: tell your jokes and hopefully -- >> it will be all right. >> jimmy: will everyone you know from back home come to this? >> there's a lot of people coming. there's actually a lot of people from my high school graduating class are rooming. >> jimmy: really? >> very excited about. we're all meeting up beforehand. i had a great grade. we had a real cool, mellow grade.

by the end, the jocks were hanging out with the burn-outs and the shop people and all of that. >> jimmy: you keep in touch with your high school friends, huh? >> i mean, they come to shows, run into them, yeah. >> jimmy: who's the character in the group? who's the one you're most interested in seeing what's going on? >> oh, i don't know, it's been so damn long. >> jimmy: you don't remember any of their names? [ laughter ] >> i do, but then you're going to ask me a story, i'm going to get them in trouble. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. you've got me figured out. >> i am doing a joke about all the kids with cameras all over the place. back in the day when we were younger and there was no cameras, you drove a car, if it died, you just burned it. [ laughter ] you got the insurance money. the cops would be showing up going, so you're telling me somebody stole a [ bleep ] brown '85 ford escort, you're telling me that? we're like, that's what we're telling you. [ laughter ]

the guy's like, i don't believe you. well, you got no video, so that's what happened. [ laughter ] you'd do it all the time. >> jimmy: for real? >> all the time, used to do it all the time. >> jimmy: you got a little taste of what it will be like to be on stage at fenway when you threw out the first pitch there last month. was that something that you were worried about? because a lot of people freak out about that. >> like, i wasn't worried about it, then everybody was giving me all of this stuff about, you know, about throwing the pitch out. "whatever you do, make sure you don't bounce the ball." "you know what you do, don't throw it from the mound, throw it from the grass in front of the mound." i'm not doing that, if i bounce it from the grass it's like i'm going to get double bashed. >> jimmy: yeah. >> everybody does that on the internet, right? you guys act like you don't read that stuff but you do. [ laughter ] i was like, if it's going to happen, i'm going to throw it from the mound. but -- i just -- the level of stress. people are like, "whatever you do, don't bounce it." or else what? i don't get my mlb contract? [ laughter ] i'm a bald, 53-year-old comedian, i can throw it through the backstop if i want to. >> jimmy: let's take a look at

how it turned out. >> all right. >> i went out there and just did it. i didn't stand there long enough to think about it. >> look at this. look at it. yeah, look at that, no-look. >> yeah. >> come on, who's making fun of anything? >> i thought my pleg was coming up and around. >> jimmy: i think you had a little spin on that. >> no, just ran out of velocity. [ laughter ] you know what's funny is somebody said -- my favorite heckle that i got about that on

twitter was somebody said that was a balk. >> jimmy: a balk. >> like all right, there's nobody on base, so it doesn't really matter, does it? >> jimmy: that's got to be satisfying. to have that video, to know you did that so well. >> i couldn't believe how much i cared after it went over the plate. i was going on, "i don't care, it's stupid, just go out and do it." then when i got out there, when i went well, i felt this level of relief was ridiculous. [ laughter ] because everybody was, you know -- i had a buddy do it one time, and he was so trying not to bounce the ball, he air mailed it so bad the catcher never came out of his crouch. [ laughter ] just went flying over his head. so it's like, i don't want to do that. >> jimmy: you got the pitch. then if life continues to go well, perhaps you will graduate to this. >> and here's jimmy kimmel, host of course of his own show on abc. only down 2-1. look at that! >> yeah! >> jimmy: i never miss a chance. bill burr is here with us! we'll be right back. >> portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by steak-umm, makers of 100% real beef sheets, for your mouth and your bed. ♪ ♪

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comedy $1,600. >> "b" is for this frank comedian who plays frank murphy. bill burr. >> comedian rule $2,000. >> jimmy: elijah keeps going and he doesn't stop for one minute to think about the people -- [ cheers and applause ] who work so hard. boy, do you watch "jeopardy!"? >> no, somebody sent me that clip. that was the biggest ego boost and then crash. [ laughter ] oh my god, i'm a question on "jeopardy!"

and nobody knows who i am. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's happened to me like six times, always humiliating. >> they're smart people, they're not going to watch what i do. [ laughter ] it's a rigged question. >> you had a couple of shows in vegas over the weekend what hotel? >> the cosmopolitan. >> what do you do when you're not on stage? >> like howard hughes, i stay in the room, avoid the whole thing. i had a balcony, so i watched the planes taking off and landing. i know it's sad, but i'm into it. [ laughter ] i have a little app, i can listen to the tower and all that. it's fascinating. i get fascinated by the approach of the helicopters where they get to go through, like new york new york, mgm, they go right down that street, which i did, it's mazing. >> jimmy: in a helicopter? >> yeah, flying with a friend of mine. you know, that's like a main air space. so you have to know how to get not in and out of it.

you can't be going, where am i supposed to do? when southwest planes are taking off and landing. >> jimmy: you sit there listening to the control towers? >> yeah, because it makes you good when you're flying, that it doesn't sound like a foreign language to you, you know. >> jimmy: shouldn't you know all the stuff before you fly the helicopter? >> no, you know it but you forget it. like you don't go to a gym for a while, you're down a bit. you don't fly for a while, the first radio call you make is a jumbled mess. you get off, god, it sounds like i got two hours of flight time on me, it's embarrassing. >> jimmy: you've got your pilot's license. do you fly yourself to these gigs? >> no, too much stress. if there's any weather problem. also i don't like flying at night. if god forbid, if i had an engine problem, where would i put it? is that an open field? is that water? you can't tell at night. >> jimmy: you're a pilot who almost never flies? [ laughter ] >> no. first you had to big league me with your home run. he's going to pull out -- him flying a jet, what, did you get to fly with tom cruise? >> jimmy: i did take a helicopter flying lesson once and it was the most terrifying

11 minutes of my life, terrifying. >> the first time it kind of runs up -- >> jimmy: you hold the -- >> you're basically in a guillotine. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, in the air. >> yes, in the air. >> jimmy: you have directed a film. is it done? have you finished it? >> yeah, shot it for miramax. right now we're editing it. stars myself, bobby cannavale -- >> jimmy: a great cast you have there. >> yeah, i think it's going to be an old movie. "old dads." basically guys like me who have kids late in life. then you bring your kids to school and there's this whole

new way of doing stuff. you know. people start giving you looks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i like that. and you are -- you have another netflix comedy special coming -- >> i also did a thing -- "bill burr presents friends that kill" where we have all these great comics coming up and that's out in june or something like that. >> jimmy: very good. well, it's always a delight to see you. enjoy that nba finals. i know you're really going to soak up every second of that. [ laughter ] >> no, i can't be that guy screaming at his tv with his kids around, so i just sort of -- i kind of poke my head in and come back out. >> jimmy: no, it's great. if your team wins you'll be like, yes, they won! but it was fixed. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i will. in a way. i mean, it's not -- it's massaged. who's your team? >> jimmy: lakers. >> oh, good, yeah. that's one of the most massaged histories of all-time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who doesn't like a massage? >> you've got a mobbed-up ref, a b.a.a. championship, take four, five championships in minnesota -- it's a very hollywood resume. where you're sort of jacking it up.

>> jimmy: bill burr, he takes the fun out of absolutely everything. [ laughter ] >> no, no, no, wait a minute! [ cheers and applause ] we ain't leaving on that. [ laughter ] i threw a strike, then you had to show your home run. go [ bleep ] yourself. unbelievable this guy. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you want to see that home run again or no? >> wait, yeah, i would. i'd like to see you playing softball. [ bleep ]. at least i pitched from a regulation mound. they moved the [ bleep ]ing wall in like 200 feet, get the [ bleep ] out of here. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bill burr, everybody. catch him on his "slight return" comedy tour where he'll headline fenway park in boston on august 21st. we'll be back with moses ingram. [ cheers and applause ] i am a business hotel. i eat, sleep, and breathe efficiency. i expect my bed sheets to be as crisp as my spreadsheets. i'm looking for someone who appreciates high rois and even higher rpms. must like hard work, punctuality, and a good firm handshake. if you're someone who likes earning rewards as much as earnings reports, i would be honored to be your perfect somewhere. ♪ ♪

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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: music from trixie mattel is on the way. our next guest is a talented young actor you know from "the queen's gambit" who is now a lightsaber-wielding jedi killer in "obi-wan kenobi" on disney plus, please welcome moses ingram. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you look fantastic. >> thank you so much.

>> jimmy: moses, what a great name that is, moses. >> yeah, thank you. we had to register our names when we first got to school, and so that's the name that i chose, moses. >> jimmy: when you were a little kid, you chose that? >> no, it was more like 21. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> i'd just gotten to school. >> jimmy: i see, okay. >> i prayed, the next morning i woke up, i heard "moses." >> jimmy: and the red sea parted, now here we are. [ laughter ] >> waited for me, it was great. >> jimmy: has it sunk in to you, have you felt the effects of being now a part of the "star wars" universe? >> it's crazy. >> jimmy: it's crazy. >> it's crazy when it's fast. i feel like the last few days have been at warp speed. >> jimmy: well, you're even using the terminology now. [ laughter ] >> warp speed, yeah. >> jimmy: are you aware -- i'm sure you're aware of the fact that nerds are going to be

following you everywhere you go the whole rest of your life. [ laughter ] >> nerds are cool now, so it's not like one of those things. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my way of thinking, nerds were always cool. but you know. >> i love -- okay. >> jimmy: i know that this show takes place ten years after "revenge of the sith." >> right. >> jimmy: episode iii. that movie came out in the early 2000s? you were a kid. >> whenever the year was was the grade that i was in. >> jimmy: oh. >> >> yeah, i'm one of those kids. >> jimmy: did you see it in the theater? >> i didn't. i actually like -- getting this job was my first time seeing the movies. >> jimmy: okay. >> it was. >> jimmy: did you know that you would get to have a lightsaber? >> not until my first day of jedi school. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. [ laughter ] >> yeah, it's crazy. >> jimmy: jedi school. >> yes. >> jimmy: there's a jedi school? >> there's a jedi school. you do all kinds of stuff. >> jimmy: is there a bus stop they pick you up at? [ laughter ]

>> not exactly. you put yourself in. but it's fun. you do all kinds of stuff. >> jimmy: how many students are in jedi school? >> well, if you count the stunt team, quite a few. but in actuality it's like me, ewan, and hayden. >> jimmy: there aren't a lot of jedi, they can't train everybody. >> not so many, it's exclusive. >> jimmy: they train you to do jedi things. what kind of things? the lightsaber, obviously. >> i did all kinds of stuff. i ran across walls. i hung in wires. >> jimmy: when you say ran across walls, what does that mean? >> i ran across a wall. >> jimmy: like you went up -- >> i wasn't even linked to the wires the first time i ran across a wall. they had two barriers, one like this, one like this. i'm supposed to launch myself over this one and do it, like, running across this one. it's hard to picture but it was fly, it was fly. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is one of yoes things you can either do it or can't do it? what if you can't do it? >> they put you in wires. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i see, okay. >> yeah. >> jimmy: was ewan on wires?

>> no. >> jimmy: he went wireless? [ laughter ] >> he's so talented, man. i came in there, first day, and he's just like hare he's like back, the dust off his shoulder. i'm just trying to keep it in my hands. >> jimmy: he's been a yesterday eight long time, you're new to the whole deal. this is a video you got in trouble for posting? >> i did. >> jimmy: take a look here, then tell us what -- now there you are. >> yeah, that's me. >> jimmy: doing the jedi stuff. [ cheers and applause ] did they tell you not to post anything involving a lightsaber? >> well, you know. [ laughter ] i feel like it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. but -- i shouldn't have said that. [ laughter ] that sounds really bad. but no, i mean, i really thought it would be fun. i'll put it in my story, it will be there 24 hours. 24 hours is not 24 hours on instagram. >> jimmy: no, it isn't. especially "star wars." how quickly did you find out that people had seen this video? it wasn't long because it was everywhere, then there were theories. my manager was like immediately, no. immediately no. you can't do that.

>> jimmy: she was upset. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't know the lightsabers you trained with actually have -- is it a tube, is it glass? >> i'm not sure. it might be a plexiglass or something. >> jimmy: it's like the toys, kind of? >> kind of but more fancy. there's weight to it. >> jimmy: a fancier toy. do you get to keep the lightsaber at the end? >> i have my handle, my lightsaber handle. >> jimmy: if you're at home and you want it, can you reach over, it will come to you? [ laughter ] >> yeah. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a great answer. you must have learned that at jedi school. >> i learned a lot of things. >> jimmy: we have a photo taken by annie leibovitz. [ cheers and applause ] the red lightsaber. >> yeah, crazy. >> jimmy: your mission, your character's mission, is to kill

obi-wan kenobi? >> i'm hunting him. >> jimmy: you're hunting him. >> who knows what will happen when i get him. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're hunting him. >> yes. >> jimmy: did they encourage you -- did the director do a thing where he wanted you and ewan to stay away from each other or dislike each other to create some kind of negative energy between you? >> no, deb's really great. she probably thought it was a good idea for us to be training together. >> jimmy: oh. >> we have the training facility, there's like three red lights. before you actually get to the facility. so i'm, like, driving one day. me, when i see a yellow light, it means green, but lighter. [ laughter ] like a lighter shade of green. so this mike is stopping at all the yellows, what is going on? at the next light i cut around the motorcycle. then we both get caught at the light. oh, man. it's fine, i'm going to get where i'm going, they're going to get to where they're going. i pull into the facility. the motorcycle is still behind me.

oh, god. they're going to want a problem. [ laughter ] when i get in, i park. i'm preparing myself. and the person takes on of their helmet and it's ewan. [ laughter ] it's ewan. i just make a beeline for the covid test, i get in line. ewan is like, "good morning." [ laughter ] i was like, "uh -- good morning." left nostril, right nostril. >> jimmy: you know what it's the dark side versus the jedis, the force. i mean what are you going to do? >> i know, i have a problem, that's not the first time that's happened to me. >> jimmy: oh, really? who else did it happen with? >> it happened with denzel washington. >> jimmy: what? [ laughter ] >> yeah, it did, it's funny. we did "macbeth" together. i was so excited to be there, like a kid in the candy store. i get to rehearsal, sitting next to corey hawkins, also in the movie. we're laughing and joking. denzel comes over. he's like, "what kind of car you

drive?" "i was like, i drive x." he's like, "huh. were you on the 134 this morning?" i was like, "yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "were you in a hurry to get to work this morning?" "i knew i wasn't late. if i knew i wasn't late, you wasn't late." "i don't understand what the issue is." i'm kind of thinking of what to say. denzel washington is like chastising me for my behavior in traffic. and he was like, i understand that you want to get to work on time. but it is not that serious. [ laughter ] and corey thinks it's hilarious. and honestly, i fit really good because i was acting like i moved up a level in denzel's life. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, basically one of his -- you rear-ended him, practically. >> it was great. >> jimmy: wow, that's pretty

good. that's good stuff. >> yeah. >> jimmy: moses ingram, everybody. she's got a lot going on. [ cheers and applause ] new episodes of "obi-wan kenobi" come on disney plus. thank you very much. we'll be back with trixie mattel! >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes e-q. all electric, all mercedes.

for state controller, only yiu will save taxpayers money. wait, who, me? me? no, not you. yvonne yiu. yvonne yiu. not me. good choice. for 25 years, yiu worked as an executive at top financial firms. managed hundreds of audits. as mayor, she saved taxpayers over $55 million. finding waste. saving money. because... yiu is for you. yiu is for you. exactly. yvonne yiu. democrat for controller. this is the story of an airline. but wait! it's about more than just planes. it's a sci-fi story about a piece of trash that becomes sustainable aviation fuel. it's a rescue story... about saving thousands of connecting flights.

it's a romance, an adventure, a musical- but most of all, it's a people story. starring more than 80,000 hero characters on a mission to do good in the air and beyond. because this... this is the story of an airline when good leads the way. >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes e-q. all electric, all mercedes. thanks to moses ingram and bill burr. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, her double lp "the

blonde & pink albums" is out june 24th. here with the song "this town" with some help from shakey graves, trixie mattel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i used to drive about 70 late at night cops would see me and ♪ ♪ they'd let me drive on by 'cause there's stuff to do and men to meet ♪ ♪ and drinks to have and women to beat turns out she's turned off the light ♪ ♪ and it feels like ooh-ooh-ooh this town feels like ♪ ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh won't hold you down ♪ ♪ you either work the land or the fiberglass plant in town ♪ ♪ you maybe got out or you never did settle down with the lord's prayer ♪ ♪ said and the winter came and the icing wind on the interstate ♪ ♪ never was lost and you'd

never knew what you'd found ♪ ♪ and it feels like ooh-ooh-ooh this town feels like ♪ ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh this town feels like ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ this town feels like ooh-ooh-ooh won't hold you down ♪ ♪ ♪ mmm i never did settle down mmm i never did ♪ ♪ settle down mmm i never did settle down mm-mm this town ♪ ♪ ♪ well it's a friday night

and the fish still fry the same ♪ ♪ seeing for a mile all the lights of the high school games ♪ ♪ well i hear you played on the radio but you changed your name ♪ ♪ and you can't go home never been so close so far away ♪ ♪ and it feels like ooh-ooh-ooh this town feels like ♪ ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh this town feels like ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ this town feels like ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ won't hold you down this town ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

♪ ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, harry and meghan back in the royal spotlight for the queen's platinum jubilee. a nation divided over the sussexes. >> i love meghan. >> i'm sorry to say i'm not a fan of harry and meghan. >> did the family give them a wrm welcome or a royal cold shoulder? colton haynes. the "teen wolf's" trip down a painful memory lane. >> is colton haynes proud of colton haynes? >> why is this happening? you're making me cry. i'm on the road to being proud. >> overcoming abuse and addiction. why he's now out and proud and sharing his story of survival. and "mj: the musical." the 22-year-old dancing in the king of pop's shoes. ♪ don't you ever co a