tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 5, 2022 10:00pm-10:31pm PDT
10:00 pm
imli: nba game night"! tonight, dax shepard, and "dodge-basketball" with darius garland. with cleto and the cletones. presented by heineken. and now jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hello basketball lovers. lovers in general. i'm jimmy kimmel. it is sunday and welcome to "nba game night." tonight, game two of the nba finals from san francisco. remember when the finals were in a bubble and the players lived at disney world? that was real, right? i didn't thathallucinate that? or did i dream that? either way, here we are. the celtics versus golden state. as is the tradition, the mayors
10:01 pm
of the cities, have a fun bet going. if the warriors win, boston will send them some of their famous clam chowder. and if the celtics win, san francisco will also send clam chowder. it's a very clammy, chowder-y series this year. with both teams boasting some of the most colorful fans in the the td pro shop believe the celtics will win. >> 100%. if we can beat miami like whoa did, we beat brooklyn, we shot them out, we're red hot. we're ready to go. >> jimmy: well, there's no one redder or hotter than frank. this is interesting. nba teams, like any business i guess get yelp reviews. you can go on yelp and rate your experience. these are actual yelp reviews of nba teams. this one is from a yelper named "dru" who gave the philadelphia 76ers one star. he wrote, "worst franchise ever! if you like sitting in a toilet and letting your bowels out non-stop after eating bad mexican food, then go to wells "
10:02 pm
i feel like drew might have some misplaced anger. the lakers got one star. this one directed at fans. "lakers fans are a unique bunch, grown men wearing boys medium shirts and too much cologne doesn't really appeal to the rest of the world." speak for yourself. and this one is fun. this is from the bulls arena in chicago, the united center. "one time a man dressed as a clown punched my friend in the face here, for no reason. this is the only place where you can get punched by clowns and see brad miller fool dudes with pump fakes. five stars." that's a five-star experience if i've ever head one. i'd like to see the yelp reviews for this one. jaylen brown of the celtics is now the first professional basketball player to sign with donda sports. you know, that's kanye west's company. kanye, mid-divorce, announcing a relationship with an nba player. he really is a kardashian. i have to hand it to him. the new uniform he designed for
10:03 pm
jaylen looks absolutely great. jaylen brown is one of only a handful of players who don't have a sneaker deal. he says he's looking for the shoe brand of the future, not the brand of the past. but unfortunately for jaylen, i think he might have been beaten to the punch in that department by andre drummond of the brooklyn nets. we have to take a fast break, >> nice calvin. >> he said he'd be here. >> hi, guys. ready to hoop? >> whoa! >> what are those sick kicks! >> andre, big feet ass feet. >> hi, kids. >> wow! >> two-time nba star andre drummond. >> that's right. if you want to be a two-time all-star like me, you better be ready to walk a mile in my feet. >> ad-bafs are the only
10:04 pm
scientifically made from andre's big ass feet. made by a group of podiatrists and disgraced nasa engineers. >> we want some, too. >> you got it! >> you can play barefooted. >> i love my big-ass feet. >> they make me want to go fast. >> nice. >> those are some big-ass feet, andre. >> thanks to me, you do, too. >> my ankle hurts. >> i am not liable. >> ad-bafs are not just for basketball. they're so stylish and comfortable, can you wear them anywhere. night or day, work or play. ad-bafs is the shoe for you. >> order now to get the six-toe or loop. >> ad-bafs, get yours at weird
10:05 pm
foot locker. >> congratulations, andre. we'll take a break. we have much more to come tonight. we'll be right back with dax shepard. (dad brown) i thought new phones were for new customers. we got iphone 13s, too. switched to verizon two minutes ago. (mom brown) ours were busted and we still got a shiny new one. (boy brown) check it out! (dad allen) so, wait. everybody gets the same great deal? (mom allen) i think that's the point. (vo) iphone 13 on us for every customer. current, new, everyone. on any unlimited plan. starting at just $35 all on the network more people rely on. moderate to severe eczema still disrupts my skin. despite treatment it disrupts my skin with itch. it disrupts my skin with rash. but now, i can disrupt eczema with rinvoq. rinvoq is not a steroid, topical, or injection. it's one pill, once a day, that's effective without topical steroids. many taking rinvoq saw clear or almost-clear skin
10:06 pm
while some saw up to 100% clear skin. plus, they felt fast itch relief some as early as 1 week. that's rinvoq relief. rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tb. serious infections and blood clots, some fatal, cancers including lymphoma and skin cancer, death, heart attack, stroke, and tears in the stomach or intestines occurred. people 50 and older with at least one heart disease risk factor have higher risks. don't take if allergic to rinvoq, as serious reactions can occur. tell your doctor if you are or may become pregnant. disrupt the itch and rash of eczema. talk to your eczema specialist about rinvoq. learn how abbvie can help you save. youtube tv is more than cable for less than cable. more huge moments in the playoffs. “woooooooo!” less huge bills to pay off. “uhhhhhhh” more big hits. “oooooh.” less getting hit with hidden fees. “uhhhhhhhhhhhhh” more triple-digit pitches. “oooooh.” less triple-digit payments. “uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”
10:07 pm
more modern. more simple. $750 less than cable per year. try it free. >> jimmy: is kimmel live: nba fi night." tonight, i go head-to-head with darius garland of the cleveland cavaliers in an exciting new game called "dodge basketball." darius and i will attempt to make free throws while a group of children with rabies helped us with dodgeball. later in the series, we are back in primetime alongside games 3 and 4 with chris pratt and chris evans. two chrises.
10:08 pm
and wednesday join us at our regular time with special guest president joe biden will be here. our first guest tonight is not a professional basketball player but he looks dynamite in a tank top. he's the host of the "armchair expert" podcast and host of "top gear america" too. season two premieres july 1st on motortrend plus. please welcome dax shepard. [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. you look great. you look so handsome. >> thank you. >> jimmy: in a suit and everything. i never thought i'd see the day. >> well, i doubt you would know this, but yours is the only i would wear a suit onto. >> jimmy: thank you. >> as a declaration of my love for you. >> jimmy: that's very sweet. you look quite dapper. >> this suit -- there's a story
10:09 pm
behind this suit. which i recently officiated friends' weddings. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> or wedding. you've done that. >> jimmy: i've done that. >> my friends, matt and laura. i thought, well, you know, i have this suit. it's the only suit i've gotten new in the last three years. i've also gained a tremendous amount of weight. as we talked about. >> jimmy: most people gained weight over covid. it was fat. you gained muscle. >> gluts and quads. thank you so much. >> jimmy: i feel like maybe you're secretly training for like the wwe or you're going to beat up the paul brothers or something like that. >> first, yes and yes. also i'm holding out that maybe putin will be open to settling this thing and -- >> jimmy: physically? >> yes. >> jimmy: that would be great. >> if you're watching vladimir putin, i'm going to take you out. >> that would be the greatest resolution.
10:10 pm
>> i want to ask you a sincere question. >> jimmy: requgo ahead. >> it's well known he's a judo champ. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you've seen him ride a horse. didn't work out. who would your money be on? >> jimmy: oh, no question. >> i'd kill him, right. you could beat him and his brother. >> he's got a brother? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> i'll take them both on in the cage. raise money for something. i'll raise money for charity. anyways, back to this lovely episode i officiaofficiated, af killing putin. so, you know, they're lovely, matt and laura. she's a tremendous writer. he's a very famous hairstylist. so, as the wedding was approachinging, i started getting these texts that were a little curious because they knew i would be writing the whole ceremony. the first one was like, hey, i just want to double check. you're not going to say you're an atheist during the ceremony,
10:11 pm
are you? i thought, where would that fit? how would i work that? i said, no, i'm going to keep my beliefs to myself. it's about you, blah, blah, blah. the next text, maybe four days later, the other thing like, you're not going to bring up that matt's been married before, are you? how would i roll this out? like, ladies and gentlemen, i'm an atheist. if there was a god, he would have definitely helped god keep that first marriage together. but, there isn't one and here we are. >> jimmy: it makes you wonder, i've had this situation where people ask you to do it and then they're nervous. you're like, why did you ask me to do this? >> their first thought is, let's get a comedienne, keep it light and fun. then you're lying in bed, what kind of joke is he going to make? is he going to be pop be -- >> jimmy: roast? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did it go okay? >> it was beautiful. really beautiful. i can underestimate what it feels like to stand in the triangle of two people doing
10:12 pm
that. did you have that? >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's like, oh, my god, i get to be a part of that. that part was beautiful. >> jimmy: the weird part is when i continued that triangle into the bedroom later in the evening. >> right, right. him i'm guessing? i'm sure it was very natural for you. this is how i think it went well. in all sincerity, after the nup nuptials, we were at the mixer afterwards, and their aunt from canada who doesn't know me from a hot wrock. she says, that was a beautiful ceremony. i said, thank you very much. she said, you should think about doing something. meaning, i should get into show business. like, she was -- i was like, oh, like i should do something kind of in front of a camera or something? yes, you should do that. >> jimmy: what a great combination compliment and insult that is. >> it's a double whammy. it's a glass half full from my
10:13 pm
perspective. >> jimmy: people know you're from the detroit area. were you a big pistons fan, the bag boys? >> yes. i was a huge bad boys fan because i was in seventh and eighth grade, the two back-to-back championships. >> jimmy: did it ever occur to you that there's no goofier nickname than bad boys? >> in my adulthood, yes. when you play the celebration of them and they're going, bad boys, bad boys. everyone is out of synch, sounds weird. now the show is so popular, and and wonder why they weren't singing that song. >> jimmy: because "cops" was on back then. >> this was a much different era of basketball. we would go to boston to play celtics at the height of the bad boys. laimbeer would go up to shoot and deserved, as soon as he would go up, paris would start swinging on him and laimbeer would be hitting him in the side and they would blow a whistle
10:14 pm
and they'd be like, jump ball! you could beat the hell on them, a fist fight. >> jimmy: magic and isiah thomas were best friends and he clothes lined him. >> vinny johnson. he was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. you do the math on those two years of that championship. 20,000, 30,000 cigarettes he put down. in those winning years. you don't see that anymore. >> jimmy: seems like he should have had a different nickname than microwave. carcinogen. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. we'll see dax shepard driving very, very fast on the show "top gear." >> portions of jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by heineken. visit heineken.com/closer for your chance to win work-life balance rewards all summer long. . millions of at&t and verizon customers are suffering from unexpected price hikes and economic adjustment charges. but there is a solution. right now, when you switch your family
10:15 pm
to t-mobile magenta max you can get up to a $1000 dollars and you'll get t-mobile's pricelock guarantee. they won't raise the rates of your rate plan ever. because you are entitled to more. if you've enmpacted, act now. you may be eligible to recieve tllars from t-mobile. and you should listen to me. i'm a british actor.
10:16 pm
10:17 pm
this is the story of an airline. just hits different. but wait! it's about more than just planes. it's a sci-fi story about a piece of trash that becomes sustainable aviation fuel. it's a rescue story... about saving thousands of connecting flights. it's a romance, an adventure, a musical- but most of all, it's a people story. starring more than 80,000 hero characters on a mission to do good in the air and beyond. because this... this is the story of an airline
10:18 pm
10:19 pm
in order to get fast as fast as it goes, have you to put down the spoilers. every time i hit a dip at 190, the car would lift and come back down to the ground. i have to say, it was the sketchiest thing i've ever done. i then went -- we had a different car out there, bugatti, drove that at 105. i would have smoked and had a cocktail. that car, with everything shut off, it was terrifying. >> jimmy: you're like "top gun: maverick," hitting top speeds. >> have you seen that? >> jimmy: yeah, it's good. >> my guys. >> jimmy: we'll plug another movie. >> no, get "top gear." throw that out of your mind. let's talk about mach 10, that's what maverick does. this man, tom cruise, top cruise, he's going to single handedly save the movie business. he's going to do it. >> jimmy: and the american military. >> everything! guys are enlisting on their way to the cinema!
10:20 pm
>> jimmy: i had this very conversation with guys last night. it was just like, oh, yeah, right, that's what it was like when america was fun. >> yes, it's a perfect movie. i haven't had that much fun in a movie theater since i saw the matrix. jshg is that right? >> the man's chinese, 16,000 people in there, no masks, let's party, people coughing, sneezing, screaming. they're like, let's blow it out! when he does that thing, put the brakes on. i want to watch him put the brakes on a thousand times. it does not get old. the scene with all the dudes playing football shirtless but with who balls, who knows what's happening. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> who cares. >> jimmy: a lot of good stuff. you were going to lakers games and sit in the front and do that whole thing? >> yes. in fact, i had a really incredible experience. i had been famous for like 30 seblgdz. this is like 18 years ago. >> jimmy: when you were on punk'd. >> my agent asked me to sit
10:21 pm
courtside with the agency he had. these seats are the first four seats after the lakers bench ends. so, it's, you know, the lakers and me. so, it's wild because you're like -- you feel like you're watching tv but they're right there. you could touch them. there was a moment kobe bryant called a time-out because he was unhappy with what was happening in defense. he gets back -- the huddle is right here. and i'm watching. kobe's like, derek, have you to get back on d, you're not covering him. oh, [ bleep ]. man, you a [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: to you? wow. >> in the middle of his speech. by the way, i just ripped something in my outfit. >> jimmy: oh, the new suit? oh, no, i'm so sorry. maybe you shouldn't be working out so much. maybe this is a sign from the lord. >> i almost hulk'd this thing. and came in and then he went ch- back immediately to, you do this and you do that. and i looked at my agent, i'm like, i'm on the lakers!
10:22 pm
like two more guys get injured, they're putting me in this game. it was incredible. it will never be topped. >> jimmy: it's funny how they can shift from this right back to that. >> he might have thought -- this was 2004. he might have thought i was shawne williams scott, zach brat. >> jimmy: whoever it was, it was a funny guy. >> he loved the guy he thought i was judge k that's what's most important. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, it's always a pleasure to see you. how many cars do you have right now? how many? >> it's just too many. >> jimmy: more than ten? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how many are on your lawn right now, on your driveway? >> like seven. the good news is, four or five of them are always broken. so, four or five of them are always gone in some shop around l.a. that's the only good -- >>. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. "top gear america" season 2 premieres on motor trend plus. and dax would like you to see
10:23 pm
"top gun." >> screw the podcast. get over to "top gun." we'll be back with dodger basketball. basketball. i've rigged his office with this. it's really genius. >> hey, buddy. >> i'm just offering you a hei heineken. we're having beers in the break room. you're working. >> how did you do this? >> the closer. grab your beer, let's do this. find out more about what this is. visit heineken.com/closer. . and it's got everything -- romance. suspense. setbacks. seatbacks. it's a sci-fi story about a piece of trash that fuels a plane to help protect the planet.
10:24 pm
it's a rescue story... to save a connecting flight told over and over and over again. and a coming-of-age story about a little girl who dreamed she could fly and then did. trust me, you won't want to put this one down. in fact, you can't! because you're in it. yes, you ! along with thousands of other hero characters, on a mission to do good in the air and beyond, making the world a happier, friendlier, safer, greener, more inclusive, more fascinating place. no wait, that's not right. this story doesn't have an ending, but that's kind of the point of the story. we're never finished. because this is the story of an airline when good leads the way. ♪was there something missing in my life 'til now♪ ♪an absence i could not quite place but knew somehow♪ ♪and then this vegan bakery came sliding down my screen♪ ♪and eva joan repair appeared and tightened up my seams♪ ♪voila marché rue dix remixed french tips and squid cuisine♪
10:25 pm
♪renowned♪ ♪endless, lit, infinite possibilities♪ ♪i'm down♪ ♪a world where personalized ads help good ideas get found♪ ♪ it's a lovely day today ♪ ♪ so whatever you've got to do ♪ ♪ you've got a lovely day to do it in, that's true ♪ [ chuckling ] ♪ and i hope whatever you've got to do ♪ ♪ is something that... ♪ [ music stops ] [ beeping ] cars built with safety in mind, even for those guys. the volkswagen atlas with standard front assist. ♪ ♪ right now, we're all feelin' a little strapped. but weekends are still all about grilling. and walmart always keeps prices low on our fresh ingredients. so you can save money and live better. ♪
10:26 pm
>> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live: nba finals game night." i am here with darius garland of the cleveland cavaliers. he is my opponent. another thrilling game of "dodge basketball." this game is sweeping the country. the way it works is we each have 30 seconds to make as many free throws as we can while these unhinged children throw dodgeballs at us.
10:27 pm
my cousin sal will be acting as referee, not that we necessarily need one. please explain the rules to darius. >> sal: you cannot leave the free throw lane under any circumstances. you may have to spend the whole off-season there. one other thing. you'll all be armed with these, so be careful. >> jimmy: in other words, you'll be throwing that at me, i'll be throwing that at you. these little kids will be throwing balls at us. shall we do this? >> yes. jimmy, you're going to go first. 30 seconds on the clock. three, two, one! ♪ >> jimmy: i got one.
10:28 pm
♪ >> jimmy: well, i didn't get many shots off. this is like being trapped in a bingo hopper or something. darius, that was very, very, very unpleasant. are you sure you want to do this? >> yeah, i think i'm ready. >> jimmy: all right. >> a replay? >> jimmy: let's look at the replay here. i got hit in the face about 45 times, i think. >> the number to beat is one. can you handle that? >> i think i got it. >> jimmy: all right. i'll take this. >> three, two, one! ♪
10:29 pm
♪ ♪ >> oh, my goodness. >> jimmy: what do you say, cousin sal? >> i got to say, he stepped out of the lane a few times. i hate when the officials get involved. you're the winner. >> jimmy: he's the winner. that's all the time we have. i want to thank dax shepard. thanks, darius. thanks, cousin sal. thanks for watching. good night, everybody. ♪ ♪
10:30 pm
♪♪ >> hey, bay area. it's time to share some amazing stories and feel good. we could all use some inspiration right now, and you've come to the right place. this show is all about good food, good people, and good living. ♪♪ on today's show, inside bottlerock napa valley. >> they call it the first taste of summer, and i love it. >> decadent desserts. >> i've always wanted to have my own business. >> a storybook world. >> what we try to do is provide an oasis for all families to safely play. >> and hogwarts in sf. >> you'll have an amazing time because there's just so much to watch. >> but first, a taste of peru. >> welcome to jaranita, the best peruvian party in san francisco.
10:31 pm
♪♪ >> it's so fun and so colorful and feels very vibrant. it's fun to go somewhere that feels like you're somewhere else. >> yeah. >> might as well be an alpaca walking through. >> from the decor, the drinks, the food, it feels like you've got a little bit of peru in san francisco. >> look at this tree -- this tree is just beautiful. when you enter this place, you just feel happy. >> if you want to go to peru without leaving the country, we got you. we have authentic peruvian food, we have amazing cocktails, we have great peruvian decorations, and the vibe. you have to check it out. ♪♪ >> what is jaranita? jarana, it means party, and we are jaranita -- small party. like a block party, we're a small, neighborhood restaurant where you want to go and celebrate any occasion.
493 Views
IN COLLECTIONS
KGO (ABC) Television Archive Television Archive News Search ServiceUploaded by TV Archive on