great weekend. we appreciate your >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live" with guest host chelsea handler! tonight -- simu liu, atsuko okatsuka, and music from jelly roll. with cleto and the cletones. and now, chelsea handler! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> chelsea: hi, everybody! hi, guys! hi, guillermo! hi! wow! thank you! thank you, thank you, thank you! [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. thank you. welcome to "jimmy kimmel live." i am your guest host, chelsea handler. [ cheers and applause ]

hosting this show has taught me that a woman can do anything a man can do. when he's on vacation and doesn't feel like doing it. [ laughter ] we have a lot to get to. starting with the explosive hearing in washington. it turns out donald trump was even more of a [ bleep ] bag than we originally thought. [ laughter ] we heard some truly insane testimony from cassidy hutchinson, a top aide to trump's chief of staff, mark meadows. cassidy paint a very unflattering portrait of trump's behavior on january 6th, including the little bitch-fit he threw when the secret service wouldn't let him go to the capitol during the riot. >> he said something to the effect of, "i'm the effing president, take me up to the capitol now." to which bobby responded, "sir, we have to go back to the west wing." the president reached up towards the front of the vehicle to grab at the steering wheel.

mr. engle grabbed his arm, said "sir, you need to take your hand off the steering wheel, we're going back to the west wing, we're not going to the capitol." >> chelsea: when grabbing the steering wheel didn't work, he grabbed the car by the [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] fortunately, trump sat back down and patiently waited for his car to arrive at the white house. just kidding. of course that's not what he did. >> mr. trump then used his free hand to lunge towards bobby engle. when mr. aranaudo recounted the story to me, he motioned toward his clavicles. >> chelsea: that is no way to treat a secret service agent. that is how you treat a contestant in the dressing room of the miss universe pageant. [ laughter and applause ] sadly, there is no footage of trump grabbing the wheel, but i imagine it would look something like this. [ laughter ]

hutchinson also relayed details of what happened when trump's attorney general, bill barr, told him there was no evidence of election fraud. >> the valet had articulated that the president was extremely angry at the attorney general's ap interview and had thrown his lunch against the wall. which was causing him to have to clean up. so i grabbed a towel and started wiping the ketchup up to help the valet out. >> chelsea: melania also has to wipe things off the wall after their annual mar-a-lago penetration. [ laughter and applause ] and if you think the ketchup story is a bit off, trump apparently did stuff like this all the time. >> are there other instances

in the dining room that you recall where he express his anger? >> there were several times throughout my tenure with the chief of staff that i was aware of him either throwing dishes or flipping the tablecloth. >> chelsea: but those were just his play dates with rudy giuliani. [ laughter and applause ] speaking of my baby, rudy giuliani -- [ laughter ] he has been making the rounds on tv claiming he was "assaulted" at a shop rite over the weekend. but even the super right wingnuts like greg kelly aren't buying it. >> i got to be honest, it doesn't look that bad. but i understand that looks can be deceiving. >> you know, that -- that was -- that was the woman who was rubbing my back, not the guy who hit me. the video you're watching. so the woman, that woman, gave a statement to the police, the guy hit me so hard that she herself almost fell. [ laughter ] from the reverberation. >> chelsea: oh. [ applause ]

something tells me this isn't the first time rudy has exaggerated the size of something. [ laughter ] like his tiny little micro -- [ bleep ] penis. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] republicans are getting very touchy about touching. as democracy hangs by a thread, this is what tucker carlson is worried about. >> but it's -- well, she tells us she loves kids. we kind of took her at face value until we saw this tape from last week. this tape shows her elbowing the child. the child of republican mara flores, who just won a congressional seat in south texas. so there is nancy pelosi elbowing a little girl who got in her camera shot. [ laughter ] >> chelsea: oh, nancy's an elected government official, she needs to act more dignified. like trying to strangle her own security guards in a moving vehicle. [ laughter and applause ]

but obviously that was clearly an accident. and that's coming from me, someone who's not a fan of children and has been elbowing them for years. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] in other depressing slash exciting news, we all remember jeffrey epstein's wing woman, ghislaine maxwell. guillermo, is it pronounced ghislane or jizz lane? >> guillermo: jizz lane. >> chelsea: jizz, we'll call her jizz for short. [ laughter ] jizz was sentenced to 20 years for serving as epstein's personal groomer, and she has apparently found a new calling. she's teaching yoga to all the other inmates. [ laughter ] her specialty is child's pose. [ moans ] according to one inmate, maxwell introduced herself to the other folks in the jail unit, which took them by surprise, which is weird, because making introductions is kinda her thing. [ laughter and applause ]

also, i would like to clear up a rumor that was going around a while back, that i was on one of the flight logs to epstein island, i was not. i think i would remember grooming teens with jeff and jizz. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so i am stating it here for the final time. i have never been to epstein island. but i did one time accidentally find myself at a dinner with jeffrey epstein, woody allen, and soon-yi. this is true. i went with katie couric, of all people. and i thought to myself, this is it. i have to confront woody allen. there is no way, as a woman, i am not going to say something to this man. so i sat there and suffered through the whole meal, biding my time, waiting till the end. just as he was shoving a piece of blackberry cobbler in his

mouth, i leaned over to woody and soon-yi and said, "so how did you two meet?" [ moans ] [ cheers and applause ] then katie couric looked at me and said, "okay, time to go, chelsea." [ laughter ] in other chelsea news, last night, i mentioned that i had three abortions in high school, and do you know what men on the internet had to say about that? [ bleep ].ecause i don't give a- [ cheers and applause ] but my old high school does. i recently found out my high school in new jersey, livingston high school, is refusing to induct me into their alumni hall of fame. jason alexander and chris christie made it, but not me. apparently, the school is upset about how much i talk about my abortions. so i've decided to start a grassroots campaign. you should donate to planned parenthood, and then march, and then vote. but after you're done with that, go online and tweet a message to the school district for my alma mater. [ laughter ]

@livschools. let them know how you feel about this gross injustice. using the hashtag #hall4handler. [ cheers and applause ] have fun with it. make me proud. livingston high, the hall is in your court. [ laughter ] you probably saw this online, but after roe v. wade got overturned, some pro-lifers have been posting pictures of themselves holding signs like this. that say "please don't abort! we will adopt your baby." there is some other fine print, though. "offer not valid if baby is black, brown, gay, or already out of the womb." [ moans and laughter ] this is a very weird thing to do. first of all, i don't believe these people for a second. you know how when you run into someone that you only kinda know, and say something like, "oh, we should get drinks sometime!" but you don't really mean it and hope they never text you? that's what these signs are. [ laughter ] someone will ask these people to adopt their baby and the couple will be like, "oh, sorry, this month is crazy, let's catch up after the holidays."

[ laughter ] and secondly, "we will adopt your baby" is one of the creepiest sentences i've ever heard. it sounds like the title of a movie starring jeffrey epstein and jizz. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] also, we finally got some thoughts on abortion from my personal hero, mentor, and sensei. >> let's start with roe v. wade. i thought it was a horrible decision. i think women should have the right to decide what happens with their bodies. >> chelsea: is that what you think, o.j.? that women should have the right to decide where you murder them? [ moans and laughter ] while women's rights are getting rolled back across the country, some companies are cashing in. i was recently asked to be a spokeswoman for a new female-focused restaurant chain. which seemed like a pretty great opportunity at the time, but i probably should have read the script before i signed the contract. >> it's that time of the month. time for a boozy brunch with

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> chelsea: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live!" i'm chelsea handler. tonight, my very funny friend atsuko okatsuka is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, all the way from nashville, his album is called "ballads of the broken." music from jelly roll on the mercedes eq stage.

[ cheers and applause ] i'll be back tomorrow with my guests paris hilton and matteo lane, with music from espa. and if you want to come see me live, my "vaccinated and horny tour" is running through the rest of the year. [ laughter ] dates and tickets are at chelseahandler.com. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest comes to us from china, canada, and the marvel cinematic universe, which is a lot of passports. you know him from his mcu epic "shang-chi and the legend of the ten rings." now you can learn his real-life origin story in his new memoir, "we were dreamers," it's available now. please welcome simu liu. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> chelsea: simu, welcome. >> it's so good to be here. it's so good to see you, oh my god. >> chelsea: we met for the first time at the people's choice awards. >> people's choice awards, yeah. >> chelsea: you won an award. >> i did. [ cheers and applause ] i guess the world thinks i'm an action star or something. >> chelsea: yeah, i think the world thinks you're an action star because you think you're an action star. >> could be. >> chelsea: you were also standing next to the rock, who i don't think i've ever seen in person. his head, he's so muscular, it's like there's muscle in the back of his head. >> there is somehow muscles in the back of -- yeah, i've never felt so small in my life. i look like a piece of cheese string next to him. [ laughter ] >> chelsea: i didn't see you when you were standing behind him what is i'm saying. >> fair enough, fair enough. >> chelsea: it was a voice, "simu, are you there, are you there?" congratulations on your "new york times" best-selling book. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] you know this as a fellow "new york times" bestseller.

the title follows you for your entire life. you can make the list one time you'll be "new york times" reve- best-selling author, chelsea handler. and i'm "new york times" best-selling author, simu liu. [ cheers and applause ] i refuse to be introduced any other way. >> chelsea: i was excited the first five or six times i was on the "new york times" as well. [ laughter ] it's a huge feat, congratulations. >> thank you, thank you. >> chelsea: i love this book. i sat in the garden and read it the other day. i sound like oprah. i don't have a real garden, i just said that. [ laughter ] i sat and read it outside the other day. i just love this book. first of all, one of my favorite things is you waited till i think page 14 to announce you were voted one of toronto's hottest bachelors? >> canada's hottest bachelors, 2018, just off the top of my head. [ cheers and applause ] >> chelsea: how did that make you feel? like a real man, huh? [ laughter ] >> pretty good, yeah. the context, the way i introduce it in the book, i admit to the

reader, basically to the world, i used to poop my pants quite frequently when i was a kid. [ laughter ] to kind of help dull the blow of that, i said, could now be a good time to introduce you to the fact that i was one of canada's hottest bachelors? [ laughter and applause ] look where he's come from! >> chelsea: what i love about this book is it feels you kind of wrote it with your parents. what was the process of that? there's so much history about your parents. >> right, right. >> chelsea: coming from china, them coming over to canada without you, leaving you with grandparents until you were 4 years old? >> 4 1/2, yeah. it was always the story that i wanted to tell. i know there's a lot of cynicism, whatever. a celebrity, or -- i made one movie and i'm already coming out with a memoir. people are like, why? the story i wanted to tell was our family journey. it starts way before i was born. it starts with my parents growing up in china in the '60s and '70s. i really wanted to tell the story of how they came to view america as like their next goal, their dream.

and for my dad, like he really had such limited exposure. his only exposure to america was "star wars"," sound of music," and kentucky fried chicken. [ laughter ] which was the one restaurant that was -- one of the first american fast food chains to ever expand to china. based on those three things he was like, dammit. [ laughter ] i want to go. he set his sights on america. and that's what happened. >> chelsea: he's like, i got to get that chicken, yeah. i got to get that chicken. one of the first dates was kfc, one of their first dates in canada, right? >> yeah, yeah. i obviously was -- a long research process. i interviewed my parents a lot. i learned a lot of things about them, most of which was inspiring. one story of the night i was conceived. not so much so. [ laughter ] kfc ended up playing a role in that. my dad took her on a date, kfc at the time -- it's not like it is now. it's very, very expensive in china, lines out the door. >> chelsea: obviously an aphrodisiac also.

[ laughter ] >> something in those 11 herbs and spices that set them off. nine months later, boom, here we go. [ cheers and applause ] you could almost say that i owe my entire existence to kentucky fried chicken. [ laughter ] >> chelsea: you're probably not the only person that can say that, quite truthfully. we have a picture of you in your little outfit where you looked really adorable. >> yes. >> chelsea: you really wore the [ bleep ] out of this outfit. >> thank you. [ audience: aww ] >> chelsea: that cut >> i know harry styles, you know, was on the cover of -- i think "vanity fair" with the dress. i just wanted you to know that i was there first. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> chelsea: okay, i got it. so tell me about the process with your parents. because there's some, you know, pretty rough stuff in this book. >> yeah. >> chelsea: you were separated from them as a little boy, which is heartbreaking. and then you went to go meet them when they were kind of -- they came to get you, perfect strangers almost, right? >> yeah, yeah, almost like

getting adopted by my own biological parents in some weird way. >> chelsea: right. >> yeah, it was -- you know, it started out as a happy ending for our family because we're finally reunited. then of course, the realities of, you know, the actual arrangement really set in. which is that you had these people that really had no idea how to be parents. all of a sudden they're responsible for a 4 1/2 year old. and we're dealing with a language culture, generational barrier. you know, it was hard. it was hard on a lot of children of immigrant families. you butt heads with your parents, trying to navigate these different cultures. you live in a completely separate world at home than you are in the world. it was tough. we got into a lot of arguments, things got physical. one of the reasons why we really wanted to -- i wanted to tell that story, and my parents agreed ultimately, was not out of some desire to be vindictive or air our dirty laundry, but really a sense of, there are immigrant children going through this right now. i want them to feel they weren't alone, the way i felt really

isolated. yeah, just kind of giving them the ability to connect with my story, hopefully will help them. [ cheers and applause ] >> chelsea: yeah. at any point were your parents like, you can absolutely not put that in the book? or were they just okay with everything? >> yeah, they were kind of reluctant. there's a couple of anecdotes specifically with like them beating the crap out of me, they're like, "do you really have to?" i was like, you know what, but yeah, you did those things, it's not like they didn't happen. my parents like to say, "we were fantastic parents 99% of the time but you choose to focus on the 1%." and i'm always like, mom, murderers don't murder people every second of the day. [ laughter ] they're good people 99% of the time. not to call you a murderer, but it's like -- you know. the things that you do in those moments that define you. [ laughter ] so, i mean, the logic -- yeah. i'm not sure if they got the analogy totally.

it's in there somewhere. >> chelsea: i like the story when your mom puts you outside, locks you out for doing something, for 15 or 20 minutes. you're a little boy, what is happening? am i ever going to be allowed back in? you saw another neighbor, also chinese, walking up the stairs, "oh, are you okay?" you're like, "mom locked me out." she's like, "oh, yeah, i do that all the time." [ laughter ] >> i really feel our parents had the playbook, like they would trade secrets how to punish their kids. that really got me. >> chelsea: yeah, yeah. you picked up a lot of what not to do when you have your own children. >> there you go. >> chelsea: when we have our own children, i'm sorry. [ laughter ] more with simu liu after this!

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> chelsea: welcome back, i'm here with simu liu. welcome back. >> thank you so much. i'm guest hosting in a few weeks. you're crushing it, by the way. >> chelsea: thank you so much. he's going to be guest hosting. funny you mentioned that. i wanted to pitch an idea for your guest hosting week. you're part of a band? >> lx-4. [ cheers ] i need to be very clear about some things, it was a boy band. >> chelsea: okay. >> we were 12 years old, all our last names began with "l," that's where we got our name from. we never amounted to anything, we never did anything. the only thing we ever did was we made the school album. which is like -- it's a whole -- it's called the twig tape, a student-made, student-produced album. there's no production.

we got our friend joann, she wrote the song, the lyrics -- a lot of it is joann. [ laughter ] we sang along, off-key, and that was our one single. >> chelsea: can you give us something, a little ditty from the song? >> a little ditty? >> chelsea: yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> it was so emo, 12-year-old kid, you know. it was something like -- it was like -- ♪ passing by you in the rain ♪ >> chelsea: oh. [ cheers ] ♪ hope to see you smile just maybe you turn away from me again ♪ ♪ tell me can't you feel this way ♪ [ cheers and applause ] it didn't sound like that, i'll tell you that much. [ laughter ] >> chelsea: talk about an aphrodisiac, yeah, there you go. >> very sexist lyrics. "can't you feel this way?" i feel that's such a

male-dominant -- why can't you just feel that way about us, why can't you just love us? >> chelsea: yeah. >> i would not write that song in 2022 for sure. [ laughter ] >> chelsea: i have a question. so when you first came, did you meet spider-man on your very first trip when you came to hollywood? >> yes, yeah. very first trip to hollywood, i had no money, i was meeting a manager that i had never met. we were communicating via email. he was like, yeah, i guess i'll sign you. and then so i book myself -- i didn't have any money to get a hotel. i booked myself a hostel off hollywood boulevard. and -- because that was the only real neighborhood in l.a. that i knew. yeah, i want to be in hollywood. i show up to hollywood boulevard and i'm like -- i'm at chinese theater, having a good time. spider-man shows up. you want a picture? and i was like, oh, cool, the people in l.a. are so nice. he takes my phone, snapped some pictures of me, snapped pictures of us in a selfie, then he's like, "that will be $20 for spider-man." i literally just got there, had so little spending money.

i'm staying in a hostel, a bed with nine other dudes. >> chelsea: fun. [ laughter ] >> some would say, some would say. but yeah, i had -- ended up paying the guy. i talked him down to 10 bucks. [ laughter ] i'm like, "dude, what are you doing? i'm so poor, you've no idea." >> chelsea: you're paying him to take a picture of you on your phone and him. >> yeah. >> chelsea: i wonder if he's seen your movie, "i know that guy, took a picture with him then charged him for it." [ laughter and applause ] how did you -- you got your acting roles by putting ads on craigslist? or reading ads on craigslist? >> craigslist played a pretty intergral role in my early development. i'm never one of those guys that likes to wait by the phone. an actor starting out, you have an agent, the idea is that you have to wait for your agent to give you an audition. i didn't have that kind of patience. so craigslist gave me my first opportunity to be on set ever. because i answered a random

craigslist ad and ended up on the set of "pacific rim" as this minimum wage extra. so that kind of validated the website for me. yeah craigslist! [ laughter ] craigslist is where it's at. i don't care about the stupid agent business, i want to go on craigslist. [ laughter ] i would go on craigslist every day. and for the most part, you know, i got some really incredible gigs. i was in a avicci music video, a stunt double, a fall out boy music video. then there were times that ended up not so great. i almost got scammed this one time. i answered this craigslist ad for an audition, very vague as to what it's for. i show up. i do this audition. this guy is blown away. even i was like, i'm not that good of an actor. he was like, "this is amazing, i'm going to call people, you come back tomorrow." the next day, "i got a job offer for you." he's saying it pays $25,000, you shoot in new york.

oh, this sounds way too good to be true, but continue. he was like, "the only thing, you have to be a member of the screen actors guild, are you a member?" i was like, "no, we live in toronto, i'm not a member of the american screen actors guild." "don't worry, let me take some calls." he gets on the phone, he's having what i know now is a fake conversation. "guess what, he's not in the screen actors guild. don't worry, how much is the joining fee? $5,000? i'll let him know." he hangs up. he's like, "all right, here's what you do. write a check to the screen actors guild, you hand to it me, we'll get you the role." and i was like, "thank you very much, no." [ laughter ] and i walked away. even at that point i was like so -- i was gaslighting myself. i wanted it to be true so badly. six months later i was on craigslist again. [ laughter ] i hadn't learned my lesson. there was a police posting there. there was a picture of the guy. they had caught him. [ laughter ] they were like, "these are all the aliases that he uses."

[ cheers and applause ] the bottom line, he's off the streets, he's not scamming any aspiring actors anymore. >> chelsea: yeah, and you're safe now. >> and i am safe. >> chelsea: yes, you are. thank you so much, simu. "we were dreamers" is available now. we'll be back with atsuko okatsuka. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ moderate to severe eczema still disrupts my skin. despite treatment it disrupts my skin with itch. it disrupts my skin with rash. but now, i can disrupt eczema with rinvoq. rinvoq is not a steroid, topical, or injection. it's one pill, once a day, that's effective without topical steroids. many taking rinvoq saw clear or almost-clear skin while some saw up to 100% clear skin. plus, they felt fast itch relief some as early as 2 days. that's rinvoq relief. rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tb. serious infections and blood clots, some fatal, cancers including

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>> lou: it's time for the "jimmy kimmel live" half magic trick of the night. >> i'm here to tell you why i became a musician. as a kid i was obsessed with the idea of time travel. i wanted to know how it worked. i've cracked the code. i have a copper coin, a silver coin. you'll see until the absolute last second, all i have to do s -- >> lou: great trick, matt! ♪ ♪ let me down ♪ ♪ ♪ let me down easy ♪ ♪ ♪ ooh ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> chelsea: welcome back. our next guest is a very funny comedian, tiktok trendsetter, and most importantly, a friend of mine. she'll be performing her new comedy hour, "the intruder" at the just for laughs festival in montreal next month. please give a warm welcome to atsuko okatsuka. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> chelsea: yes! >> what's up, girlfriend? >> chelsea: oh, i love seeing

your bright, shining face. >> oh, thank you. i love seeing your bright, shining face. >> chelsea: i discovered atsuko -- i didn't discover her, but i discovered her personally on tiktok. you have a very popular tiktok which you're very funny on, and instagram. [ cheers ] and i was following you along. she does these funny videos with her grandmother. and i was following you along. then you messaged me first? or did i message you first? >> you know, i had seen that you were commenting. i'm like, chelsea handler's following me. chelsea handler's following me! chelsea, the one i watched growing up in my garage, with my mom and grandma, all cramped, it's chelsea handler, it's chelsea. when i saw you were following me, then i started seeing you commenting, i think i just saw you at the portland airport, very casual, you know what i mean? [ laughter ] like, we're friends already. that's something you say to a friend, but publicly on my instagram feed. so i was like, i think she wants to be friends. [ laughter ]

naturally, so that's when i dm'd you. >> chelsea: yeah. >> i took a leap. and i was like, hey, if you ever want an opener. i think that's what i said. >> chelsea: yeah, if you ever -- if you'd ever be open to me opening -- there was a lot of opens. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> chelsea: if you'd ever be open to me opening for you. i was like, i love that you asked that, yeah, come open for me in whatever gig, san francisco, san jose, something we did. >> which is so trusting. i could have sucked. [ laughter ] right? just somebody random, you know. you've seen me dancing. i don't know what drew you to me. i don't know if it was the booty. [ laughter ] i don't know if it was the grandma, you know what i mean? >> chelsea: yeah, yeah, so many things, a multitude of things that drew me to you. it is the dancing, it's the grandma. i love anybody who loves their grandmother because mine was a real bitch. [ laughter ] >> sorry to hear that. >> chelsea: that's okay, that's okay. god rest her soul or whatever the saying is. >> of course, yeah. >> chelsea: congratulations on

having one that you love and get along with, that's so much fun. >> i'm lucky. when i show my grandma online, i'm trying to do that for people who maybe didn't have a nice grandma, you know what i mean? [ laughter ] i want you to see, you know -- feel like you can be adopted into this family. >> chelsea: right, right. you guys started a pretty major trend, which is the drop challenge, which we have a clip of. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> oh, a masterpiece. [ cheers and applause ] >> chelsea: that turned into a huge thing on tiktok. it went viral everywhere. there was like 8.5 million views, right? >> yeah. >> in a very short amount of time. >> yeah, and that's just the ones that used my audience. there were some people -- there were other ones worldwide that

i -- people had to tag me for me to see, you know. people in kenya were doing it, kerry washington, the cast of "hamilton," broadway, cast of "snl," serena williams. it was just like so -- >> chelsea: that's so cool. >> it's a piece of art. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] chelsea handler did it. >> chelsea: i did it. pike place market in seattle, you know where they throw the fish? then she went. you were there the next day in pike place. did the same video -- not the same because you have rhythm and i don't. [ laughter ] >> you do. >> chelsea: well, it's hard. it's like -- i'm almost like a fish, you know what i mean? when the music comes on, it's like, i can move my body but it's not to the beat. [ laughter ] >> sure, sure. but this is, like, a dance anyone can do. it's really just, hit that beat, chelsea, get that beat, just boom. i know your mom told you to never dance. [ laughter ] >> chelsea: no, that was actually my grandmother.

[ laughter and applause ] first of all, catching those fish at pike place is no easy feat. as you learned. they throw it across the thing. for me to catch the fish, then to have rhythm, my mind was blown. >> it's a whole slippery fish. >> chelsea: it's a very -- ginormous. >> look alive! you're like, okay. [ laughter ] we're not fisherpeople. so once you touch it, you're shocked at how wet and slippery a fish is. >> chelsea: also because if you look on dating sites, so many men are holding up fish, so it looks so easy. my sister is trying to date, she always shows me -- every guy's got a bass in their hands. [ laughter ] i'm like, who are these men looking for? other fishingwomen? [ laughter ] >> it's all about the size, isn't it? oh, look at this big -- a big wet one. [ cheers and applause ] >> chelsea: exactly. >> do they sit it next to a newspaper too? they're always like -- with

penis pictures, it's like, is it from recent? [ laughter ] it doesn't make sense to me. it's not like the penis really changes. >> chelsea: changes over time? i think it probably does. everything changes over time. >> of course. as you can see, i haven't dated in years. >> chelsea: you're married. atsuko is married to a very nice gentleman who's in the back. he travels with you everywhere, which is also cute. >> yeah, i'm kind of a ditz. without him around, i would be dead in a ditch somewhere. [ laughter ] i literally would just like follow the wrong person. when i'm at a whole foods, here's this white guy, 6'3", brunette. in a whole foods, i've totally grabbed someone that kind of looks like him. [ laughter ] so i need him around because i'm just very -- have you seen "old enough," the tv show? errands? get sent out to do - [ cheers ] >> chelsea: that's my kind of show. >> yeah. anyway, that's me. [ laughter ] yeah, and so -- he does do

everything with me. >> chelsea: yeah, well he's great. he also filmed the challenge. guillermo, have you ever done the drop challenge? >> guillermo: no, never. >> chelsea: i thought that would be a nice family activity for us. >> guillermo: yeah, let's do it. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: hi, how are you? i'll follow you. >> okay, you'll follow me. ♪ listen for the beat. just kind of -- drop. [ cheers ] ♪ one more. [ cheers and applause ] and him, now go. [ cheers and applause ] >> chelsea: oh, yeah, there we go. thank you, atsuko. see her comedy hour "the intruder" at the just for laughs festival in montreal next month. we'll be right back with music from jelly roll.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by the "s" class from mercedes-benz. here's why tribal leaders y r the act arpr for rmenso to helsness, mental health and addiction in california. prop 27 supports financially disadvantaged tribes that don't own big casinos. by taxing and regulating online sports betting

for adults 21 and over, we can protect tribal sovereignty and finally do something about homelessness in california. vote yes on prop 27. we have all sorts of rocks here in oregon. big rocks, split rocks, rocks you can train on, and rocks you can train through. we even have rocks you can climb to look at other rocks. no matter who you are or what you're into there's a rock you'll love in oregon. ♪

>> lou: the jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes e-q. all electric, all mercedes. >> chelsea: that's all the time we have. i want to thank simu liu and atsuko okatsuka. i'll be back tomorrow with paris hilton, matteo lane, and music from aespa. "nightline" is next, but first, his album is called "ballads of the broken." here with the song "son of a sinner," jelly roll! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i never get lonely i get these girls to keep me company ♪ ♪ i took the rear view off of this old ford i only see in front of me ♪ ♪ out of sight and out of mind ♪ ♪ if i'm back now i'm chasing these white lines ♪ ♪ i'm just a long-haired son of a sinner searching for new ways

i can get gone ♪ ♪ i'm a pedal to the highway if you ever wonder why we write these songs ♪ ♪ ♪ and i'm only one drink away from the devil i'm always one call away from home ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ and i'm only one drink away from the devil i'm always one call away from home ♪ ♪ yeah, i'm somewhere in the middle i guess i'm just a little right and wrong ♪ ♪ these backroads got me these pills pretend to be my friend ♪ ♪ i'm done for the last time i'm lying to myself again i always

say that ♪ ♪ now i'm on my way back here somehow i should know by now ♪ ♪ i'm just a long-haired son of a sinner searching for new ways i can get gone ♪ ♪ i'm a pedal to the highway if you ever wonder why we write these songs ♪ ♪ i'm only one drink away from the devil i'm only one call away from home ♪ ♪ yeah, i'm somewhere in the middle i guess i'm just a little right and wrong ♪ ♪ ♪ mistakes i made i paid for them in cash walked a million

miles on broken glass ♪ ♪ i'm feeling like i'm fading my heart's been slowing breaking ♪ ♪ might pop a pill and smoke and maybe drink ♪ ♪ talk to god and tell him what i think ♪ ♪ at first he's gonna hate me but eventually he'll save me ♪ ♪ i'm a long-haired son of a sinner searching for new ways i can get gone ♪ ♪ i'm a pedal to the highway if you ever wonder why we write these songs ♪ ♪ i'm only one drink away from the devil i'm always one call away from home ♪ ♪ yeah, i'm somewhere in the middle i guess i'm just a little right and wrong ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

tonight, ivana trump. >> don't get mad, get everything. >> she was more than a member of the first wives club. >> she had been a part of early creation of image and business-building of donald trump. >> former ski champ turned model blazing her way into the highest echelon of new york society. >> ivana trump was eastern european. i's kind of like dictator chic. there's a lot of gold, a lot of mirrors. >> candid insights from her longtime friends. >> she was unstoppable, just like her hair. nothing was going to deter her. platonic