tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC August 17, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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we appreciate your time. good night. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live" with guest host nicole byer! tonight -- aubrey plaza, sasheer zamata, and music from father john misty. with cleto and the cletones. and now, nicole byer. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ "jimmy kimmel live!"o - i'm your guest host, nicole byer. [ cheers and applause ] i'm an actress and stand-up comedian.
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i host four podcasts, as well as "wipeout" on tbs and "nailed it!" on netflix, grand crew on nbc and yet somehow jimmy is the one who needs a vacation. [ laughter ] i'm tired! and even though i'm in every show on television, i didn't get nominated for one emmy this year. [ audience: aww ] and that's because i actually got nominated for three emmys. [ cheers and applause ] three nominations sounds like a lot until you remember that i do something award-worthy every single day of my [ bleep ] life. [ laughter ] and i know everyone always says that awards, they don't matter. but [ bleep ] that, i love awards. oh, yeah, gimme those gold-winged bitches! [ laughers and applause ] i want to put those up on my mantle, then when people come over, pretend i don't even know they're there. "oh, that? yeah, that's just my emmy. ha ha ha! i won it because i'm the best at television." [ cheers and applause ]
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i'm so excited to be here. i'm feeling good. my covid test was negative. [ cheers ] thank you. my polio test was inconclusive, so let's party! [ laughter and applause ] at least one case of polio has been reported in new york city and health experts believe it could end up here in l.a. very soon. so that's fun, right? how is polio making a comeback? polio feels like a disease you should only be able to catch in a black and white movie. didn't w get rid of polio in like the '50s? why can't we bring back the fun stuff from the '50s? like potato sack races. smoking on airplanes. [ laughter ] and why are only bad things contagious? how come you can't ever catch anything good, like an orgasm. [ laughter and applause ] or good credit. or a rich husband with a big [ bleep ] and a terminal illness. [ cheers and applause ]
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i'd like to take a moment now to highlight what i believe to be the cattiest moment in the history of broadcast television. it comes to us from a local news station in duluth, minnesota, nope, yep, minnesota, i got that right. i thought it was missouri for a hot second, she [ bleep ]ed up. [ laughter ] anyway. seems like [ bleep ] not going well for them either! between the news anchors dan and ken. >> snoop loops doesn't have a release date yet but it will be available on snooploopz.com.pi' through a drug test before i gave them to my children. >> when it comes out with a brownie line, look out. >> ha ha, good one, ken, that was fun, good for you. [ laughter ] >> nicole: yep. good for you, ken. now get the [ bleep ] out of here! [ laughter ] you know how everyone's been talking about "the great resignation" where people are leaving their jobs after the
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pandemic? well, if you hate your job and fear confrontation, there's a p quitting." this is when people emotionally and mentallycheck out at work and do as little as possible without getting fired. we already have a term for that, it's called your 30s. [ laughter ] and me, i'm not a quiet quitter. i do something i like to call "loud leaving." that's when you say "i'm leaving!" in the most dramatic way possible so that they'll chase after you, no, nicole, don't go! you're the best guest host we've ever had at "jimmy kimmel! and the most beautiful! and the most talented! i'm so sorry i [ bleep ] up your coffee order this morning! and congratulations on your multiple well-deserved emmy nominations! [ cheers and applause ] speaking of new beginnings, in wisconsin, there's a special new school with a unique and colorful history. >> this former strip club is now the place that the ozaki christian school calls home.
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in addition to the gentleman's club, the school also got a shopping center. >> because it had been a strip mall in addition to being a strip club, much of it had never even been built out. it was fairly easy for us to kind of turn that into classrooms. we took the drywall off the windows because it was just a darker environment. in many different ways. and we've let the light in, and we think of it as the light of jesus. [ laughter ] >> nicole: you know what they say, one pole makes a stripper, two poles make a cross. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] apparently, the renovation cost $1.6 million, and they paid for the whole thing in singles. [ laughter ] they actually didn't have to change too much. the stripper poles are now tetherball poles, the champagne room is now the juice box room, and the lunch lady can touch you, but you can't touch her. you cannot touch her, okay?
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[ laughter and applause ] this story is near and dear to me because i love pole dancing. i've been taking classes for a few years now, and i thought it'd be fun to bring along my new friend guillermo to see just how low he could go. >> guillermo: hi, how are you? >> nicole: guillermo! are you ready to get sexy? >> guillermo: i was born ready. >> nicole: you were born ready? >> guillermo: yes. >> nicole: all right, let's shake our asses! >> guillermo: this is the place you mike miracles? >> lots of miracles. >> guillermo: i want to be sexy. >> you're already sexy. >> guillermo: i like you, you're nice. nice and wide, all the way down, hands on the floor. how does that feel to you guys? >> guillermo: it feels painful. >> nicole: painful? >> open up to the front -- >> guillermo: [ bleep ]. >> to a side lunge. >> guillermo: i think my -- >> nicole: your huevos? >> guillermo: my balls.
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>> that's it. up. up. >> i feel very tired. but you know what would make me feel very loose? >> what? >> guillermo: tequila. yeah. >> well, being sexy is work. hard work. >> we've got to work on our strength a little bit. we've got to do some pushups. >> [ bleep ]. >> can we do a set of eight? i'll do them with you. >> nicole: guillermo, i'm with you on this one. >> ready? nice, strong plank. pull in those abs. eight, seven -- lower your elbows and hips -- six, five -- bend them more, more. four, three, two, one, all right. >> nicole: okay, that was the hardest thing i've ever had to do in my whole life. >> did you do all eight? >> guillermo: yeah. brutal. >> so we are going to get started with some nice, basic spins. before we do that, i wanted to check out your walk. oh, see? see? beautiful.
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gorgeous. >> guillermo: oh my god. >> see how she swings her hips and keeps her quhin lifted? >> guillermo: uh-huh. >> each foot, move your hips. what are you looking at? who are you look at? who are you dancing for? >> guillermo: i'm dancing for beyonce. >> nicole: beyonce? >> keep your eyes forward on beyonce. that's it, that's it. wow, what a difference. all right, so nicole made a special request to do a fireman spin. >> guillermo: a what? >> fireman spin. off leg comes here, then you can land. oh! [ cheers ] >> guillermo: wow, girl! you got it going on. >> nicole: gimme some. >> guillermo: you have a phone? >> a phone? why do i need a phone? >> guillermo: to call 911, call an ambulance. make sure you have a phone ready. >> nicole: i have a phone ready. >> guillermo: all right, ready? >> ready. >> nicole: yes! >> land out, yes. >> guillermo: this is supposed to be fun but it's painful.
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>> nicole: if you were a stripper what would your stripper name be? >> in spanish, la reina. you know what it means? >> nicole: no. >> guillermo: "the queen." >> nicole: oh, yes, la reina. >> you know what, if that ever happens, you can make something out of it. we learned some floor work. yes, okay. >> nicole: that's la reina. >> i'm going to do a fan kick. fan kick. >> guillermo: holy [ bleep ]. >> squeeze your elbow forward. yeah a little more forward. >> guillermo: hm? >> the top in front of your face. good. >> guillermo: jimmy kimmel doesn't pay me enough for this [ bleep ]. >> go across. >> guillermo: oh [ bleep ]. ready? >> nicole: yes! >> yes. can you do the split part? >> guillermo: no, i don't --
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>> land and do a split. >> guillermo: after i'm here i go like -- >> uh-huh, then all the way down. keep going. >> nicole: yes! >> yes. >> nicole: that was pretty sexy. >> i'm not mad at it. >> guillermo: all right, let's go get some upfits. >> let's get some outfits. >> guillermo: all right, let's go get some outfits! >> nicole: la riina! yes! ♪ >> that works. >> nicole: yes, la reina. >> i like that finish, uh-huh, yes! >> nicole: i want la reina to come when i host, dance while i'm there. >> guillermo: will you have tequila for me? >> nicole: i'll have so much tequila for you. >> guillermo: and a better outfit than this. i want to be a sexy security guard. >> nicole: your wish is my command. ♪ if you want it let's do it ♪ ♪ ride it my pony ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> nicole: now it's time to put
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guillermo's skills to the test. lou, will you do the honors? >> lou: and now, coming to the main stage, the royal of the roadhouse, la reina! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ you want it let's do it ride it my pony ♪ ♪ my saddle's waiting come on jump on it ♪ ♪ you want it let's do it ride
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large out-of-state corporations have set their sights on california. they've written prop 27, to allow online sports betting. they tell us it will fund programs for the homeless. but read prop 27's fine print. 90% of profits go to out-of-state corporations, leaving almost nothing for the homeless. no real jobs are created here. but the promise between our state and our sovereign tribes would be broken forever. these out-of-state corporations don't care about california. but we do. stand with us. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> nicole: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live!" i'm nicole byer.
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tonight, from the show "home economics" here on abc, sasheer zamata is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, his album "chloe and the next 20th century" is out now. father john misty on the mercedes eq stage. [ cheers and applause ] i'll be back tomorrow night with my guests heidi klum, kirby howell baptiste, and music from seventeen. you know our first guest from "parks and recreation" and now she's got two new movies. "emily the criminal" is in theaters now. and starting friday, "spin me round" hits theaters and amc plus. please welcome aubrey plaza. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> nicole: oh! oh my god. isn't that fabulous? >> yes, i love it. >> nicole: does it do it for you? >> yes. you know it does. >> nicole: do you pole dance? do you strip? do you frequent strip clubs? tell me about it. >> okay, i don't. but i actually got a pole for my sister. >> nicole: oh! >> as, like, a quarantine activity, because that's what we do in my family. [ laughter ] yeah, i took her to vegas to see the "magic mike" show for her 21st birthday. and she was dragged up on stage. and she had a knack for it. >> nicole: oh, i love that. >> you encourage good hobbies for little sisters. [ laughter ] >> nicole: that's perfect. i went and saw that show, they did not pull me on stage, which i'm still mad about. so you got her a pole. did she put it in her living room? where should it? >> she actually -- it was during the lockdown. she installed it in my dad's
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basement. [ laughter ] >> nicole: oh. >> yeah. >> nicole: he was just a proud papa going downstairs being like, "my daughter." [ laughter ] >> honestly, he really liked it, yeah. that's kind of how my dad is. he was more excited about it than she was. i think it's still there. >> nicole: really? does your dad use it? >> i don't want to know. [ laughter ] i don't know what he does with it. >> nicole: that would be my first question. hey, dad, you getting some spins in? >> i know. he likes to party. so -- yeah. >> nicole: yeah, he definitely uses it. >> yeah, yeah, he uses it. [ laughter ] >> nicole: he sounds like fun. so -- okay, you shot season two of "white lotus." >> i did. [ cheers and applause ] >> nicole: congratulations. >> thanks. >> nicole: so where did you shoot it? >> we shot it in italy. >> nicole: oh, ciao bella. >> si. and we were in -- yeah, in sicily. i was in italy for five months. >> nicole: oh my god. >> before that i shot a movie called "spin me round" which i'm talking about here for three months. so i've been in italy a lot.
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>> nicole: oh my god. >> like over half a year. >> nicole: that's such a long time. what do you do to make yourself feel at home? >> i -- yeah, it's really weird living out of a hotel. i got really into, like, going into town and, like, the old little italian village, buying weird grandma lamps. [ laughter ] putting them in my room. but we were staying in, like, a five-star hotel and the staff would be like, "you know, we can give you a lamp if you ask." [ laughter ] "we can give you anything." and i was like, i'll just buy my own lamps, thank you very much. [ laughter ] and i would just -- yeah. i just -- would do lighting stuff. i don't like the overhead lighting. i just try to make it, like, you know -- like a house, whatever. >> nicole: did anyone, like, look at you weird? double fisting lamps? >> actually, you know, the carabinari, which is what they call the cops, they would fool me around. because i looked insane. we were shooting in the offseason. i would walk around wearing sweat pants and you don't do
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that in italy, normally. i think they thought i was a crazy person. [ laughter ] i was flagged pretty much right away. >> nicole: that's so funny to be followed by the police for, like, carrying lamps around. >> i was carrying a lot more than that. we don't have to get into that. >> nicole: so -- okay. me personally, i steal toilet paper from hotels. >> me too. >> nicole: do you? i haven't paid for toilet paper in about seven years. [ laughter ] >> i steal it from hotels, from my trailers. >> nicole: oh! >> yeah, you see the "parks and rec," i'd steal all the toilet paper every day, take to it my apartment. in the hotel in italy, would go to the gym and i would take as million bottles of water as i could and fill my hoodies with them so i wouldn't have to pay for water, because i couldn't drink the tap over there. it was weird being a thief in a luxury hotel. [ laughter ] about the i just had to do what i had to do. >> nicole: uh-huh. i would love to just hear the conversation of the front desk, "this nice lady keeping bringing
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in lamps and she's/ing around." >> they were following me on their cc camera footage. i did a prank on one of the castmates once when he didn't know. i went into his room, i left this kind of witchy symbol made out of sticks on the floor. [ laughter ] yeah. i know, we weren't supposed to talk about this. sorry. >> nicole: no, i want to -- >> yeah, he was really suspicious. he didn't know who did it. he went and asked the hotel to look up security footage, and they identified me on the cameras. [ laughter ] yeah, so i was flagged in the hotel and in the town. [ laughter ] >> nicole: i love this. >> yeah, i know. it's -- i'm not allowed to go back to sicily. yeah. i'm serious. >> nicole: i would invite you back, you seem like a party, that's fun. >> i am. me and my dad and a pole. [ laughter ] >> nicole: a pole, some witchy pranks. >> puerto ricos, caramina, whatever. >> nicole: that's fun. did italians recognize you for your acting, not thievery? >> yes, they recognized me from my acting in a little film called "dirty grandpa."
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[ applause ] >> nicole: oh, yes. >> yeah, which is really big in italy because it starsde niro. they love him over there. in fact, it's his birthday. happy birthday, bob. [ cheers and applause ] >> nicole: oh, that's sweet. >> call me. yeah, so the italians would, like -- that was the only thing i was really recognized for. they -- in italy they call it -- [ speaking italian ] that's how you say "dirty grandpa." they'd shout "dirty grandpa" at me. > nicole: that's so funny, i love it. if you don't know the context, to shout "dirty grandpa" at a nice youthful lady, it's very funny. >> they shoved pictures of me in lingerie with de niro, made me sign them. >> nicole: printed up pictures of you? >> yeah, yeah. >> nicole: how fun.
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italy sounds like a blast, i want to go there with you. >> any time, let's do it. >> nicole: any time? >> any time, i'm crazy, i'll do it. [ laughter ] >> nicole: what is it like working with italian crews versus american crews? >> italian crews are funny. they're way more -- in my opinion, they're way more aggressive. like, american sets i feel like are a little bit more polite. everyone follows prote kols. italians, like they're kind of like, they just do what they do to get their job done. and they're a little, like, you know -- like, the vibe with the italian wardrobe ladies was a little bit, i was a dirty, bad child and they were, like, the nuns, teachers, that were kind of like slapping me with rulers. because i would accidentally take my jewelry home, then get in trouble. stuff like that. that doesn't make any sense. [ laughter ] >> nicole: no, it does, it does. >> then they would have different words. in america you say action! cut!
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instead of cut they would be, "stop!" [ laughter ] all day long you'd hear, "stop-a, stop!." [ bleep ], we're just shooting a scene. it was a fire -- fiery and aggressive, in my opinion, but i liked it. >> nicole: really? i think it would give me a complex to be acting, have somebody be like, "stop it!" oh my god, i'm not doing good? >> yeah, yeah. >> nicole: guess what? >> what? >> nicole: we're going to continue this conversation. more with aubrey plaza after this! one day you might realize going to grandma's doesn't count as vacation. when you decide to go to that amusement... -no. -no. when you decide to go to hawaii. aloha. turns out your beach people. i think we're beach people. whoa whoa, slow down boys. we know you love it. and did you know they like ceviche?? and best of all, the hotel has babysitters. so you have a date night. remember those? with amex, it's never a question of if vacation will actually feel like vacation.
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californians have a choice between two initiatives on sports betting. prop 27 generates hundreds of millions every year to permanently fund getting people off the streets a prop 26? not a dime to solve homelessness prop 27 has strong protections to prevent minors from betting. prop 26? no protections for minors. prop 27 helps every tribe, including disadvantaged tribes. prop 26? nothing for disadvantaged tribes vote yes on 27. ♪good vibes by moa l.m. munoz & ryan t. short♪ ♪♪ ♪bout to get down, living it up♪ ♪never touch ground, never enough♪ ♪bout to get down, living it up♪ ♪never touch ground, never enough♪ ♪got me feeling good♪ ♪vibes♪ ♪♪ ♪got me feeling good♪
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no, no, no! ♪ >> hey. >> [ bleep ], what the hell? >> get out of the car. >> no. >> get out of the [ bleep ] car! >> no, no, no! [ cheers and applause ] >> nicole: welcome back. i'm here with aubrey plaza. well, damn! well, damn! oh my god. i've never tased someone. you look good with a taser. >> thank you. it's my second time tasing in a film. >> nicole: really? >> yeah. one of my things. special skills, "can tase."
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>> i know my way around a taser. >> nicole: in this your character falls into the world of fraud. >> she gets into credit card fraud. >> nicole: oh, yes. oh, get the merchandise! >> yes. [ laughter ] yes, stij it to the corporations. >> nicole: right? >> big-ass corporations, you know, like [ bleep ] those guys. [ laughter ] >> nicole: i agree. okay, so like would you, if push comes to shove, commit some frauds? i would -- i mean, i'll say this. i had to do a lot of research for the film. and i actually had to learn how to make fake credit cards with the embossing machine. >> nicole: oh. >> because i do it on camera. the prop master was, i'm going to teach you how to do this, but obviously don't do it. [ laughter ] and i was like, uh-huh, no, i won't. but you know, things don't work out for me with this stuff or whatever. [ laughter ] i'm going to get one of those machines because i know where to get them now and i know how to do it. >> nicole: i love that you have something to fall back on. [ laughter ] >> yes, yes, i do.
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>> nicole: that makes me happy. >> you've got to have a net. >> nicole: so your other movie, "spin me round." tell them about it. >> spin me right right around. it's a fun title. it's a comedy. and we shot it in italy. and it's about a group of managers of a big italian american franchise restaurant. kind of like, you know, an olive garden. it's not about olive garden. [ laughter ] it's about a restaurant called the tuscan grove. [ laughter ] it's like olive garden. it's basically a bunch of tuscan grove managers get sent to italy on a corporate retreat. they all think they're going to have the best, most romantic trip of their lives. it ends up being a total [ bleep ] show and comedy ensues. it's a great cast. >> nicole: who's in it? >> alison brie, costar, producer, lead actress.
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molly shannon. [ cheers ] fred armisen. kim hide decker. zach wood. debbie ryan. aidan. >> nicole: oh! just aidan? >> aidan. [ laughter ] okay, wait, i'm going to get the last name wrong, oh my god. >> nicole: it doesn't matter, aidan's in this movie. >> aidan, i love you, you know i'm high, sorry. [ laughter and applause ] um -- um -- >> nicole: it's okay. >> aubrey -- audrey plaza. [ laughter ] >> nicole: audrey plaza. >> alessandro nivola. the list goes on. >> nicole: did you have the best time? >> yeah, we had a blast. i rented a convertible, i was basically driving all the actors to and from set at 80 miles per
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hour, piling molly shannon, fred, tim, benson clare's in the move a. i would get them all in there, get them to set. you know, it was wild. it was fun. >> nicole: i can't wait to see it. well, thanks, aubrey! >> okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> nicole: okay. "emily the criminal" is in theaters now and "spin me round" opens this friday in theaters and on amc plus. we'll be back with sasheer zamata. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ nerd i just haven't been feeling myself lately. i've been trying to find a better way to save my money, but i keep dragging my feet. oh, sorry. oh i'm out. what a surprise. you know at nerdwallet we have side-by-side comparisons of top high-yield savings accounts. that way you can make the smartest decision and get the most out of your money. ah, that's incredible. how'd you do that? i thought you did it. nerdwallet. the smartest decision for all your financial decisions. we make sit-down chicken...
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in disneyland and disney california adventure parks! "jimmy kimmel live." guest host nicole byer, with guests heidi klum, kirby howell-baptiste, and music from seventeen. that's tomorrow on "jimmy kimmel live." ♪ ♪ discover sound that can truly move you in the 2022 grand wagoneer. awarded best driver appeal by j.d. power.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> nicole: welcome back. our next guest is a very talented writer, actor, comedian, and one of my favorite people in the world. we are two peas on a podcast called "best friends" and season three of her show "home economics" premieres september 21st on abc. please welcome sasheer zamata. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> nicole: it's so wild you're
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here! >> it's so wild you're here! >> nicole: i know. >> look at you! >> nicole: look at you! oh my god. sasheer, i've known you for forever. >> yeah. >> nicole: when did we meet? >> wait, hold on. >> nicole: what? >> i want to say, you look amazing behind this desk. [ cheers and applause ] >> nicole: thank you. thank you. >> i do think we could put a little bit of your flair on it. so i got you a gift. >> nicole: what? >> i got you a gift. >> nicole: oh my [ bleep ] god. [ cheers and applause ] get that out of here! yes. sasheer! krps [ cheers and applause ] >> you shine so bright, you're so special. i figure that could be represented. >> nicole: oh my god. you shine so bright and you're so special. i love you so much. >> i love you so much! >> nicole: we're like what is it, kindred souls or something?
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lids to pots? >> lids to pots? >> nicole: i don't know. >> [ bleep ]. you know. that old saying. >> nicole: god, when you lived in new york and i lived in l.a., i missed you so much. >> i know. that's hard, that was a long-distance relationship. we took a lot of trips together. >> nicole: uh-huh, yeah. you brought me to st. louis once. [ laughter ] >> yeah, exotic places like hawaii, mexico, st. louis. yeah. i had gone on tour. i was on the road. and i stopped in st. louis and i found this amazing thrift shop. this is a new monitory too. "nicole, we've got to go to this thrift store in st. louis." >> nicole: spend money to save money. >> she was in l.a., i was in new york, we both spent money to fly to st. louis and buy cheap clothes. >> nicole: uh-huh. tell them what happened. >> so -- i didn't look up where the -- the thrift shop was.
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>> nicole: yeah, she said google who? >> we just showed up. we couldn't find it. [ laughter ] >> nicole: yeah. yeah. so you booked the airbnb. it smelled like dead people. >> yes. i mean, i didn't -- >> nicole: you booked it. >> they didn't have a smell test online. >> nicole: no. but it was bad. the tiles were dry rotted. we drove over state lines, back and forth, trying to find this thrift store. >> i have proof that it actually existed. >> nicole: you do? >> i do. i took a picture of myself in the store. i don't think i ever showed this to you. >> nicole: what else do you have hidden in that chair? you're just pulling [ bleep ] out. i got a sign, i got my phone, what else is in there? >> well! >> nicole: i wish it was a husband. [ laughter ] >> me in a nice coat. in this thrift store that apparently existed at one point. >> nicole: well. >> then we actually had a lot of
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fun. >> nicole: we did. >> right? >> nicole: yeah, you made me get in a boat where i had to pedal. [ laughter ] >> yes. this is us on a pedal boat. >> nicole: see, this is why i deserve emmy nominations. that's active. i was so sweaty and mad. >> you why so happy. >> nicole: oh my god. >> look at this happy person. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> nicole: so mad. oh my god. i do have fun with you. even when it's bad, it's good. we once stayed in a hotel filled with ants. >> yeah, yeah. there are some fun trips. >> we've gotten to work together a lot, which is really nice. >> i love it. i like that we do stuff and projects, but somehow we find a way to still work with each other. >> nicole: you're on "grand crew," "i'm on "home economics," you were on "nailed it sclarks we've got a podcast together. >> it's the best. >> nicole: if we could pick any set of best friends to be on our podcast, who would you pick? i know who i would pick.
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[ laughter ] they've already said no. >> oh, yes. i was also going to say what you were going to say. >> nicole: we really wanted oprah and gayle. [ laughter ] >> the ultimate best friends. >> nicole: yeah. we reached out. instead of ignoring it, they said no. [ laughter ] >> it's a hard no. >> nicole: i couldn't believe it. oprah on her farm being like, uh-uh! [ laughter ] you're in season three of "home economics." >> yes. >> nicole: she's a network diva! [ cheers and applause ] and the parent company of abc is disney. you worked at disney world? >> yes, i worked at disney world. >> nicole: isn't that fun how i got there? >> good segues, yes, okay! hostest with the mostest. yeah, i worked at disney world years ago, which was very fun. and i was a character performer. i walked on stilts. i was the fashion puppet in "the little mermaid" show, which is the hardest puppet in the whole show. i did a lot. >> nicole: you know stilts? >> i know stilts, yeah.
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i actually still have a pair. you know this. >> nicole: no. >> oh no. >> nicole: i can't believe i have to learn this on television. >> i'm so sorry. [ laughter ] i know, i know. you hate when this -- >> nicole: you still have stilts? >> yeah, in my closet. >> nicole: i've been in your home. >> i guess you haven't been in my closet. >> nicole: i have. >> that actually is true. >> nicole: when the sprinklers went on at that party. and you were very -- "here, go in my closet." and i'm like, what, and sew two things together? [ laughter ] very nice that you tried to clothe me. what are these, thimbles? [ laughter ] i've been in your closet. >> i know. i do have stilts in my closet, i'm so sorry. i was also in the jedi training academy, did you know that? >> nicole: that i did know. i knew you were a jedi. [ cheers and applause ] that picture's really [ bleep ] funny. is that the man who -- is that darth maul who rides that scooter? >> yes. yeah, right? i think so. >> nicole: i think -- i watched
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it one time, it was not good for me. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i actually -- on "home economics," we went and filmed at disneyland last week, which was so fun. for a full circle moment for me to be back in the disney park. and we were doing night shoots. you've tonight shoots. >> nicole: uh-huh, not good. >> it's late at night, you're kind of losing your mind. we had to wait until the park closed to start shooting. sometimes call time 2:30 a.m. i felt a little loopy. and we actually were shoot ing in star wars land. i was slap-happy, started making a ton of "star wars" puns. no one asked for it. they were like, what's happening? i'm like, here's a joke, do you want it? [ laughter ] no one said no. i think they were having a great time. >> nicole: i don't love a pun, and you know that about me. >> yeah. >> nicole: but i know you love a pun. >> i love puns. >> nicole: i'll listen to them. >> okay, okay. [ laughter ] okay, okay, all right. what award did chewbacca receive
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from the major league baseball association? >> nicole: which award? >> wookiee of the year. [ cheers and applause ] >> nicole: would you like to tell another? >> yeah, i really do. [ laughter ] >> nicole: okay. okay. >> why did han solo send his pasta back to the kitchen? >> nicole: why? >> it was too chewy! [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] [ cheers and applause ] >> nicole: okay. okay. i'll let you tell a third one. >> okay, great. because i have another. >> nicole: how many more do you have? >> five. i have a lot. >> nicole: okay, great. i should cut to commercial, but i'm not going to. do all five. right in a row. >> okay. >> nicole: i'll get angrier and angrier. >> what's the security system used by the dark side? >> nicole: what? >> jar jar binks!
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[ rim shot ] [ laughter ] >> nicole: all right. all right. that was actually pretty witty. give me another. >> okay. what job field would luke skywalker go into if he didn't become a jedi? >> nicole: which? >> tattooing. [ rim shot ] [ applause ] like the planet? like the planet tattooine? >> nicole: all right, all right. >> i want you to guess this one. >> nicole: i can guess it? >> i think you'll actually get it. okay. what did the other players on carey fisher's basketball team call her? >> nicole: slam dunk. >> no. did you try? >> nicole: no. [ laughter ] no. come on. wait. carey fisher, basketball. dribbling? buns? she's got buns. she [ bleep ]ed her brother. [ laughter ] [ rim shot ]
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yeah, brother [ bleep ]! that's a pun, right? >> it's princess lay-up. [ applause ] >> nicole: thanks, sasheer! "home economics" premieres september 21st on abc. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with music from father john misty. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by the "s" class from mercedes-benz.
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californians have a choice between two initiatives on sports betting. prop 27 generates hundreds of millions every year to permanently fund getting people off the streets a prop 26? not a dime to solve homelessness prop 27 has strong protections to prevent minors from betting. prop 26? no protections for minors. prop 27 helps every tribe, including disadvantaged tribes. prop 26? nothing for disadvantaged tribes vote yes on 27.
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>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes e-q. all electric, all mercedes. >> nicole: i want to thank aubrey plaza and sasheer zamata. "nightline" is next, but first, his album is called "chloe and the next 20th century." here with the song "buddy's rendezvous," father john misty! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪ everybody's girl what's the point in being everybody's girl ♪ ♪ maybe you think that way there's no chance getting hurt living for no one cost me way more than it's worth ♪ ♪ so you're gonna be a singer well i'll be goddamn you're as pretty as a postcard no thank to the old man ♪ ♪ yeah it's the same coat i had on the night that i went in ♪
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♪ i can stay an hour at canter's the streets cool off by then ♪ ♪ when can i see you again whatever happened to the girl i knew ♪ ♪ in the wasteland come up short and end up on the news ♪ ♪ ♪ everything you want what's the fun in getting everything you want ♪ ♪ i wouldn't know but look baby you should try forget that lefty your mom filled in your mind ♪
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♪ give the world a new savior sell his pictures to the press ♪ ♪ by a place out in the country leave this world for someone else ♪ ♪ my destruction is an hour late i'm at buddy's rendezvous ♪ ♪ telling the losers and old-timers how good i did with you ♪ ♪ and they almost believe me too ♪ ♪ whatever happened to the girl i knew ♪ ♪ in the wasteland come up short and end up on the news ♪ ♪ ♪ oh oh ♪ ♪ ♪ whatever happened
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♪ this is mike "nightline." >> tonight, caught in the middle. inside the controversial policy busing migrants away from the border. and into democratic-led cities. the mayor of new york pushing back on the republican governor behind the plan. >> it's hateful politics to raise his national profile. >> are these newcomers to america pawns in a political game of chess? i go one on one with the man at the center of the debate, texas governor greg abbott. why would you use a phrase like "make my day" when addressing the mayor of new york city? >> listen, when -- when you see some of the things going on, that's just candy-coated
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