>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" with guest host david alan grier. tonight -- jamie foxx, abbi jacobson, and music from the shins. with cleto and the cletones. and now david alan grier. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> david: what's up, what's up, what's up? hi, you guys. whoo! welcome to "jimmy kimmel live!" i'm your guest host, david alan grier. [ cheers and applause ]

i'm what you call a "friend of the show." i've done this show over 36 times. [ cheers and applause ] but tonight marks my first appearance as a tony award winner. [ cheers and applause ] it only took me 41 short years to get that award. [ laughter ] and now here i am hosting "kimmel" in a theater that shares a parking lot with a hooters. [ laughter ] guillermo, how many awards has jimmy won? >> guillermo: like three or four. [ laughter ] >> david: shut up. [ laughter ] what a show-off. as a beloved tony award-winning actor, people are always clamoring for information about me. so i've decided tonight i'm going to answer three of the most frequently asked questions about me on google. by the way, these are real

questions, okay? no fake news here. anyways. first up -- what is david alan grier doing now? answering your dumb-ass questions. next? [ laughter ] okay, this one isn't even about me. how old is jamie foxx? [ laughter ] that depends. in regular years? 54. in black years? 9 1/2. [ laughter and applause ] and this is the number one question most asked about me on google. did david alan grier pass away? [ laughter ] yes, he was smothered under the weight of yo mama. okay, we good now? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] now, there's crazy stuff happening everywhere, especially down in the sunshine state where it's time for tonight's edition of "this week in florida."

>> the county sheriff's office said a civilian spotted brandan wright, 34, crossing the fairground before 10:00 a.m. as he carried a machete and picked palmetto berries while completely naked. throwing the machete at the victim's chest. thankfully only the handle hit the victim, it did not injure him. deputies say wright ran into brush and got into a white dodge challenger. he was later spotted, still naked, outside a gas station, yelling at drivers, doing push-ups, and behaving erratically. [ cheers and applause ] >> david: well, at least he's working out. as they say, self-care is the best care. [ laughter ] got to get some vitamin "d" on that "d." [ laughter ] speaking of insane floridians, donald trump is having a tough week. i will hold for your applause. [ cheers and applause ] trump sat for a deposition with the new york state attorney general today and repeatedly

pled the fifth for over four hours. which is interesting, because just a few years ago, this is what he said about people who do that kind of thing. >> so there are five people taking the fifth amendment. like you see on the mob, right? you see the mob takes the fifth. if you're innocent, why are you taking the fifth amendment? >> david: i don't know, you tell us, you guilty bitch. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i got to be honest, i didn't even know what this deposition was about. at this point, the hardest thing is figuring out which crime trump is being investigated for. it's like, hold on. is this the tax fraud thing, or the insurrection thing, or the voter fraud thing, or the paying off the pornstar thing, or the capitol police thing, or one of the other two capitol police things, or the mishandling of classified documents thing, or the thing where you used the oval office to sell beans?

[ laughter and applause ] where's the house committee on that one? meanwhile, down at mar-a-lago, the maga faithful have assembled to show their support. >> you're just across the intercoastal from the president's -- oh, i see a protester behind you too? >> yeah, about a dozen that are here. a lot of them slept in their cars. >> david: a dozen trump supporters? or as we say in the theater, "12 angry men." [ laughter ] or women. or anyone who identifies as a monster. and if you're wondering what type of person would go to donald trump's house to defend his honor, here you go. >> you don't think there was a real reason to come here, it's just a show? >> no, i know there's no real reason. i know it in my heart. i know it in my spirit. he has never lied about anything. [ laughter ] >> david: i know a trump university graduate when i see one.

[ laughter and applause ] you know i'm having a lot of fun doing this late night monologue, but i am a classically trained tony award-winning actor. [ laughter and applause ] from the theater. [ cheers ] and in the theater, a monologue is something important. it's a speech by one character baring their soul, not a bunch of cobbled-together jokes about the president's mushroom-shaped penis. [ laughter ] with that in mind, i thought i'd class up this dump by talking about one of the biggest news stories of the day the only way i know how -- through monologue. a real theatrical monologue. [ cheers and applause ] >> lou: it's time for "dagsterpiece theater." we take you now to palm beach

florida where mar-a-lago's most important doorman stands guard. >> halt! you federal agents have no right to enter this hallowed homestead! this is the residence of one donald jehosephat trump. [ laughter ] former president of these united states. and he told me not to let any woman enter these grounds unless they're at least a 7. [ laughter ] so you and your fellow troglodytes better vacate the premises, posthaste! you cannot see the great trump. no one's seen him! if you looked upon him, you'd go blind! your teeth would fall out of your head! your bowels will evacuate themselves! classified documents? piffle! i care not! this is a man -- nay, a legend, whose touch can heal the sick, whose voice can calm the insane,

whose flaxen mane would make godless heathens believe in miracles! so you can huff and puff all you want, but i will not sell out the great leviathan who taught me that in this country anyone can be president. even if you're dumb as a mule. and racist as a racist mule. [ laughter ] oh, what's that? you've got a warrant from a federal judge? well, that's a horse of a different color! why didn't ya say so! come on in! and -- scene. [ cheers and applause ] guys in the booth, can i get a copy of that monologue for my reel, please? thank you. [ laughter ] just email me. guys, we have a great show for you tonight. abbi jacobson is here.

[ cheers and applause ] we have music from the shins, and we'll be right back with my man, jamie foxx. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ -well, i'm not 100% sold yet. -okay, have you considered -- it's fine, flo. she's not interested. i get it. not everyone wants to save money. -what's she doing? -i don't know. renters and homeowners can bundle and save. for what? a trip to bora bora? bora boring. okay, you know what? i'm in. she's all yours. want some tacos? -eh, i'm not really in the mood. -yeah, you're right. so messy, all the napkins, those different toppings. -actually, i'm in. -yeah, you are. pain hits fast. so get relief fast. only tylenol rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. they release medicine fast for fast pain relief. and now get relief without a pill with tylenol dissolve packs. relief without the water. ♪ ♪

discover sound that with can truly move youcks. in the 2022 grand wagoneer. awarded best driver appeal by j.d. power. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [sleep app ] close your eyes.

♪ ♪ deep breath in. i mean, obviously, let it out. ghaa. yeah, i'm not really sure if this is working either. (vo) red lobster's seafood summerfest is fire! turn up for the grilled lobster, shrimp and salmon trio ...and our hottest summer duo, steak and lobster! it's lit! don't miss red lobster's seafood summerfest.

♪good vibes by moa l.m. munoz & ryan t. short♪ ♪♪ ♪bout to get down, living it up♪ ♪never touch ground, never enough♪

♪bout to get down, living it up♪ ♪never touch ground, never enough♪ ♪got me feeling good♪ ♪vibes♪ ♪♪ ♪got me feeling good♪ ♪vibes♪ ♪♪ ♪everything's everything's alright alright♪ get a free storage upgrade and case when you pre-order. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> david: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live!" i'm david alan grier. tonight, from the show "a league of their own," abbi jacobson is with us. [ cheers and applause ] and then they're currently on tour to celebrate the 21st birthday of their debut album, "oh, inverted world." the shins from the mercedes eq stage. [ cheers and applause ] you can also see the shins at radio city music hall on august 23rd. guess what, guys?

i'm going to be back up in here tomorrow night with my guests ashton kutcher, amandla stenberg, and music from jessie reyez. [ applause ] it's not often i get to introduce a former student of mine. [ laughter ] i got to know this young man little show called "in living - color." [ cheers and applause ] which was well established before he got involved. after three intense years of my mentoring and guidance and tutelage, he went on to become an oscar, bafta, golden globe, and grammy winner. but no tony! [ laughter ] needless to say, he disappointed me. you can see him play a vampire-hunter named bud in the new movie "day shift." which premieres on netflix this friday. please welcome my man jamie foxx! [ cheers and applause ]

♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> david: what's up, man? >> david alan grier! >> david: i'm a big fan of yours. i've enjoyed watching how your career has grown. >> thank you, dave. >> david: it's been a wonder to see you, man. >> thanks. >> david: i love you. we go way, way back. >> why do i feel like something's happening?

[ laughter ] >> david: ain't nothing happening. >> keep going, keep going, keep going. >> david: you've been on this show how many times, 19? >> 19. >> david: yeah, i've been on 36 times. [ applause ] wait, hold up. when is the first -- i thought we met at a club here in l.a., a comedy club? >> yeah, in the hood. it was in the hood, though, it was -- just starting out. not that hood is bad. but it's the hood. >> david: sweet. so when i first met you, tell them what you heard. >> i thought you was richard pryor's -- [ laughter ] i thought you were richard pryor's long-lost son. i thought you changed the name because you wanted to do it on your own steam. i was like, whoa. >> david: that's the best rumor ever. when you started i was like, oh-oh, and then what happened? >> i was, you knw -- i'm so country, man. i didn't know what was going -- you just looked like a big-ass star to me, man. i remember i had a jheri curl that was dry. i only had enough money to keep this part wet. [ laughter ]

>> david: i got evidence. >> anybody know what a jheri curl -- okay. >> david: i'm about to show them, i got evidence. i got a picture of jamie that i keep here. [ laughter and applause ] >> what, what? >> david: you were gapped up, you were like -- >> see, that was the california curl right there. for curl entrepreneurs, i had the little curls in the front and the big ones in the back. from the side it looked like a z-28. [ laughter ] but you know what's crazy? i love david alan grier! [ cheers and applause ] now wait -- see, he doesn't understand that i love him so much that i actually carry -- [ laughter ] >> a picture of him. >> david: don't do it. [ laughter and applause ] >> david: i was 7 years old. >> look at that, man. >> david: look at my head.

it look like somebody hit me right on my head right there, that's a dip in there. >> yeah, i just -- i carry a little childhood picture of you back in my pocket. >> david: just in case. why the back pocket, man? >> i don't want to put it in the front pocket. [ laughter ] >> david: that's weird. we're going to move on from here. >> right here. right here. >> david: hey, hey. [ laughter ] >> david: but you know, a lot of times -- >> okay. >> david: a lot of times people ask me -- >> what? >> david: what was the favorite sketch that i worked on. >> oh. >> david: one sketch always comes up, when we played the barbers. >> the barbers, right, right, right. i remember that. >> david: james brown came on. >> james brown. i remember that, i remember that. >> david: james brown came on and they said -- first of all, you must call him "mr. brown." don't be calling him "james." i remember that. okay, cool, cool. then they said, don't touch him. [ laughter ] do not touch his hair. this whole sketch was about getting your hair cut. they said, do not touch mr. brown's hair. >> i don't want nobody to touch my hair!

>> david: yeah. i was nervous. i was in back. any time i got near that part, it was like -- hey! i was like, damn, nervous as hell. there was that. the barbers. and also when we did poetry from the hood. >> oh. >> david: remember that? >> yes, the poet. >> david: let me show them. >> the cops are looking for the murderer at 2:00 in the morning and i grab a fat burger. i didn't have to use my ak, it was a good day. i'm rolling on rims eating soul food neck bones. went to mom's house and drop a load in the bathroom. [ cheers and applause ] >> david: yo. >> young bucks! >> david: yeah, yeah. >> young bucks! >> david: you know what's crazy. that came from part of my stand-up, too. i used to change -- since i went to classical training in school, i would take, like, hood -- i keep saying hood.

i would take hip-hop lyrics and say, what if snoop sung classical? ♪ rolling down the street smoking ♪ ♪ sipping on gin and my mind on my money ♪ ♪ and my money on my mind ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> david: so, wait. jamie. i remember, you had a recording -- you built a studio in your dressing room. >> i did. i was trying to catch a check. hey, man. >> david: are you conservatory trained? >> yeah, i went to college on a classical piano scholarship. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] you end up on the reload -- of the air gun. >> david: no.

you had a recording studio in -- >> yeah, i went to college on a classical piano scholarship, so i remember, you know -- i just sort of used that for my stand-up and stuff. but i was, you know -- i grew up in terrell, texas. >> david: excuse me? you grew up where? >> terrell. >> david: i thought you were from dallas. >> no, no. >> david: it says here on the card. you visited dallas cowboys training camp, and you was talking like that was your home team. but that's not terrell. the terrell tigers? >> the terrell -- i'm only 28 miles away from dallas. >> david: that's not -- that -- stop, stop, stop. >> that's not fair, right? >> david: that's like somebody talking about they live in the city of industry, talking about they living in hollywood, it's not the same thing. [ laughter ] >> that's not fair. don't clap for that! don't you clap. don't clap for that. i'm 28 miles away. that's -- who else was i going to root for? that's the cowboys all day. america's team! [ cheers and applause ]

>> david: did you play football in high school? >> i passed 1,000 yards in my school. 1,000 yards. [ applause ] i had 18 interceptions, but i mean, i wasn't counting that. [ laughter ] >> david: boy, is that the only sport you played? >> no, no, no. i played tennis. i played -- i ran track. i went to state in the high jump. >> david: what? >> i went -- >> david: did you do the fosbury flop? >> i did. that there. aahhh! and my curl was flying, it was crazy. i went to state, 6'6". in the high jump. 6'6", 6'7". i could jump over lebron's head. that's how high. i had a 13 strip drop, i had to run full speed because my calf muscles was so small. i know that doesn't make sense. >> david: i didn't do any sports when i was in high school. i just -- [ laughter ] >> that's definitely a sport. >> david: but wait.

there's a clip of you online -- >> yeah. >> david: where you throw this football? >> yeah, let me do this, though. there's a guy named stefon diggs. >> david: yeah. >> and his brother. he says that i didn't know how to throw a football. we just had this argument in this club. i said, yo, bro, i really got an arm. just had to let you all know. [ laughter ] >> david: show them the clip. [ cheers and applause ] >> david: wait, wait, hold up. [ cheers and applause ] >> david: baby, for real. so you just do that, you threw that -- how many times did it take you to do that? >> one. [ laughter ] >> david: no -- >> that's my trick shot. like, i've been doing that for years. i could pull it out. >> david: we've got more with

jamie foxx after this! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ with models that fit any lifestyle. and innovative ways to make your e-tron your own. through elegant design and progressive technology. all the exhilaration, none of the compromise. the audi e-tron family. progress that moves you. i guess that's it then, huh? yup. see you around. i knew that was the last time i'd see tom.

the truth is, i was spending too much online jake from state farm. don't give up what you love. state farm has options like bundling home and auto, so you get a rate that fits your budget. tom! i'm gonna buy more stuff! for surprisingly great rates that fit any budget... like a good neighbor, state farm is there.® call or click to get a quote today.

large out-of-state corporations have set like a good neighbor, state farm is there.® their sights on california. they've written prop 27, to allow online sports betting. they tell us it will fund programs for the homeless. but read prop 27's fine print. 90% of profits go to out-of-state corporations, leaving almost nothing for the homeless. no real jobs are created here. but the promise between our state

and our sovereign tribes would be broken forever. these out-of-state corporations don't care about california. but we do. stand with us. californians have a choice between two initiatives on sports betting. prop 27 generates hundreds of millions every year to permanently fund getting people off the streets a prop 26? not a dime to solve homelessness prop 27 has strong protections to prevent minors from betting. prop 26? no protections for minors.

prop 27 helps every tribe, including disadvantaged tribes. prop 26? nothing for disadvantaged tribes

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> david: awesome! very nice. welcome back. i'm here with the inimitable jamie foxx. jamie, i saw your movie. >> oh, man. >> david: the other day. first of all, i love vampire movies. >> oh, thanks. >> david: this movie slammed! >> oh, man. first of all, you know see that clip?

[ applause ] so j.j. perry is a director. and he is a stunt coordinator. all of your "fast and the furious," all of your "john wick," even "django," he shot second unit. all of those stunts, that was his. this is his debut movie. he says, i got a cool movie for you. you clean pools during the day, you hunt vampires. i said, what? [ laughter ] and he showed me the previews and i said, bro, i'm in. there are two or three sequences in here that are the most incredible fight scenes you've ever seen. when the trailer came out, the trailer did 30 million views in less than 24 hours. >> david: you did all your own stunts? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] the reason -- >> david: hold on, hold on. you did all your stunts? >> baby, that's me. >> david: okay, okay.

jamie, jamie, okay, okay, man. >> ain't messing around. they tripped out. the beginning of the trailer, you see me pull the shotgun and blow this white grandmother into the bathroom. so homies that didn't see the whole trailer is like, yo, man, you shooting white grannies? [ laughter ] i said, no, bro, watch the whole trailer. she ends up being a vampire that's thousands of years old. and i don't want to give the plot away. but me, my job is to kill the vampires, take the fangs to the vampire union, and get money for the fangs. >> david: you've got to tell them why, though. >> the reason i do it is because my daughter's mom, played wonderfully by megan goode. >> david: beautiful. >> give it up for megan goode. [ applause ] she says, i'm leaving, i'm taking your daughter, unless you come up with the right things and the money to take care of all these different -- so i said, listen, give me some time. i said, i'm going to go -- they don't know i'm a vampire hunter, that's the one thing.

i go to my guy snoop doggy dog. [ laughter ] he plays one of the union reps at the vampire -- and he says, listen -- "hey, what's up, i got to get you back in the union." he gets me back in the union. i'll leave it at that. oh, and dave franco. >> david: yes. [ applause ] >> dave franco. listen to me. >> david: don't mess with dave, man. >> dave franco is amazing. i been clocking this guy for years. i said, i won't do the movie unless dave is in it. dave franco steals the movie. >> david: jamie, i ask you about the vampire fangs because we're told very specific information. >> yeah. >> david: that when you take a vampire's fangs, that's it. >> yeah. >> david: they can't regrow them. >> they can't regrow them. >> david: jamie, i want to ask you. [ laughter ] a few vampire questions. >> well, i know -- >> david: you are a method actor. >> yes, i am.

>> david: you go deep. >> all the way deep. >> david: this is question number one. jamie, what can you wear to ward off a vampire? >> you can wear garlic. >> david: correct. [ cheers and applause ] sit down, we got more questions. jamie, can a vampire enter your house on their own? >> oh. yes. >> david: i'm sorry, jamie, that is wrong. >> why can't they? >> david: because you have to invite a vampire in. >> hm -- >> david: you already have -- stop, stop. >> okay. next question. but i'll challenge that. >> david: next question, how do you keep a vampire from coming in your house? i didn't know this one. >> you put a cross over your bed. >> david: well, not quite. damn, that's one. two wrong. no, you have to have a mirror facing outward on your door. >> oh, yeah, that too, i said that. [ laughter ] you know, because vampires, you can't see their reflection. when you see the movie, you see i've got mirror. i was waiting for the movie to

come out so you can see my answer. [ laughter and applause ] >> david: this is an easy one. don't get all in your feelings now. this is an easy one. jamie -- oh-oh, you need some water? >> i was trying to be sexy. [ laughter ] >> david: jamie, how do you find a vampire grave? >> oh -- wayz. >> david: no. [ laughter and applause ] is that your final answer? >> wayz. i use wayz all the time to find a vampire. >> david: is that your final answer? >> how do i find where a vampire's grave is? >> david: yes, easy. you don't know? >> how? >> david: you lead a virgin boy -- [ laughter ] through a graveyard. >> what are you talking about? >> david: through a church grounds. and the virgin boy must be on a virgin stallion. and the horse will supposedly balk when it comes to a vampire grave. >> that is the nastiest answer i've ever -- [ laughter ] i'm sorry. >> david: it is. we have one final question. >> got it, i got this one, guys.

[ cheers and applause ] >> david: according to balkan legend -- >> yes. >> david: according to balkan legend, what fruit can turn into a vampire when left out long enough? >> oh, man. >> give me some music.avocado?- ♪ >> david: prickly pear. melon. or an orange. which fruit will turn into a vampire if you leave it out long enough? we need your answer, jamie. >> help me out, audience. [ audience shouting answers ] he didn't say melon. >> david: oh, yeah, i did. >> what'd you say? >> david: i said melon, orange, prickly pear, or avocado. >> let's just edit this. i think it's -- i think it's -- melon! [ cheers and applause ] >> david: jamie foxx -- ♪ that is correct! that is correct, jamie foxx. [ applause ] you don't win a [ bleep ] damn

thing, but thank you. "day shift" premieres on netflix this friday. when we come back, we'll have abbi jacobson for you. [ cheers and applause ] you know i love you, man. >> i love you. ♪dance! by christian a medice & elisha noll♪ ♪are you ready?♪ ♪♪ ♪let's go♪ ♪♪ ♪ahh yeah♪ ♪♪ ♪step to rhythm like♪ ♪you're going out tonight♪ ♪dance get with the groove and♪ ♪dance get up and move let's♪ ♪dance kick off your shoes and♪ ♪show me how you♪ ♪dance♪ ♪♪ ♪dance♪ ♪♪ ♪dance♪ get a free storage upgrade and case with s pen when you pre-order at at&t. i have moderate to severe ulcerative colitis. so i'm taking zeposia, a once-daily pill. because i won't let uc stop me from being me. zeposia can help people with uc achieve and maintain remission. and it's the first and only s1p receptor modulator approved for uc.

don't take zeposia if you've had a heart attack, chest pain, stroke or mini-stroke, heart failure in the last 6 months, irregular or abnormal heartbeat not corrected by a pacemaker, if you have untreated severe breathing problems during your sleep, or if you take medicines called maois. zeposia may cause serious side effects including infections that can be life-threatening and cause death, slow heart rate, liver or breathing problems, increased blood pressure, macular edema, and swelling and narrowing of the brain's blood vessels. though unlikely, a risk of pml--a rare, serious, potentially fatal brain infection--cannot be ruled out. tell your doctor about all your medical conditions, medications, or if you are or plan to become pregnant. if you can become pregnant, use birth control during treatment and for 3 months after you stop taking zeposia. don't let uc stop you from doing you. ask your doctor about once-daily zeposia. today, anything is possible. today, anything... ...is possible. ♪ [laughing] ♪ yay! ♪ anything is possible! (music playing throughout)

♪ ♪ la la la la la ♪ we're no etiquette experts... but biting into your mcdonald's crispy chicken sandwich and ending up with a whole pickle slice dangling from your mouth, isn't impolite. it's human. ♪ ba da ba ba ba ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ you know that show i was telling you about? yeah i was so close to the stage when i saw her and she... she pulled me in. wasn't expecting that. it was literally... literally the greatest thing i've ever seen... scene... it was such a scene, but i looked pretty hot... so hot. i mean the look on his face...

face it! you really missed out on the best time... time of our lives. you really had to be there. when you're with amex, you always have a story to tell. it's never a question of if it's going to happen... it's when. ♪♪ [ "back to life" by soul ii soul ] what if you could change your surroundings it's when. with the touch of a finger? now you can. biometric id... inside the innovative, new c-class. i am a business hotel. i eat, sleep, and breathe efficiency. i expect my bed sheets to be as crisp as my spreadsheets. i'm looking for someone who appreciates high rois and even higher rpms.

must like hard work, punctuality, and a good firm handshake. if you're someone who likes earning rewards as much as earnings reports, i would be honored to be your perfect somewhere. ♪ ♪

well well well, what have we here? a magical place... that's lookin' to get scared! (laugh) (laughter) hallis back in disneyld and disney california adventure parks! large out-of-state corporations have set hallis back in disneyld their sights on california. they've written prop 27, to allow online sports betting. they tell us it will fund programs for the homeless. but read prop 27's fine print. 90% of profits go to out-of-state corporations, leaving almost nothing for the homeless. no real jobs are created here. but the promise between our state and our sovereign tribes would be broken forever. these out-of-state corporations don't care about california. but we do. stand with us. one, two, three, break it down! ♪

♪ ivan ivan ivan ivan one two three give it up for ivan ♪ [ cheers and applause ] how did kellogg's combine crunchy oat clusters with a touch of honey... plump, juicy raisins and tasty fiber into one delicious cereal? it took a lot of bran-storming. get it? kellogg's raisin bran crunch. two scoops of delicious. i'm lindsey vonn, and ever since i retired from skiing, i've had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. you know, insomnia.

before i found quviviq, an fda-approved insomnia medication for adults. you would not believe the things i used to think about when i couldn't sleep. hey, linds. i need you to sign this business contract. all 114 pages. lindsey, lindsey!! hey, lindsey! it's workout time. hey, big man, we're in the middle of something here. yeah, it's called physical fitness. just a couple dozen more questions, lindsey. don't forget to pack your phone charger for tomorrow morning's flight. it's plugged in right over there. insomnia can impact both my days and my nights. that's why i take quviviq nightly. quviviq can help you fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer, and more sleep at night may mean feeling less tired during the day. quviviq works differently than medication you may have taken in the past. quviviq is thought to target one of the biological causes of insomnia. overactive wake signals. do not take quviviq if you have narcolepsy. don't drink alcohol while taking quviviq or drive or operate heavy machinery until you feel fully alert. quviviq may cause temporary inability to move or talk or hallucinations while falling asleep or waking up.

quviviq may cause sleepiness during the day. quviviq may lead to doing activities while not fully awake that you don't remember the next day, like walking, driving and making or eating food. worsening depression including suicidal thoughts may occur. the most common side effects are headaches and sleepiness. it's quviviq. ask your doctor if it's right for you. ♪ ♪ discover sound that can truly move you in the 2022 grand wagoneer. awarded best driver appeal by j.d. power.

you know, it doesn't matter if you choose left or right because they're both chewy, crunchy and delicious. you know, it doesn't matter if you choose left or right because they're both chewy, crunchy and delicious. this just in! a giant robot has landed downtown. ♪ heroic music ♪ ♪ hey, craig... hey, guys... this is just my workout stuff. we know you're the green hawk. everyone knows. [laughs] what? that's bananas. you're still wearing your mask, dude. if you have a secret identity, you need to keep it secret. and if you want to save by bundling home and car insurance, you need geico. i'm not the green hawk.

[knock knock] delivery for the green hawk? see how much you could save by bundling with geico. - green... - i will bring it to him.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> david: welcome back. you know our next guest as one half of the "broad city" comedy duo. a show i loved very much. next, she co-creates and stars in the tv reboot of the film "a league of their own." >> these girls are really good. >> why watch what everyone else is doing? watch yourself. >> yeah, watch yourself. >> you guys are right. i need that kind of confidence. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> that's just a lucky one.

[ cheers and applause ] >> david: "a league of their own" premieres august 12th on amazon prime video. please say "hey, batter, batter," to abbi jacobson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> david: abbi, i just want to congratulate you on "a league of their own." [ cheers and applause ] i mean, it's your own thing, right? >> thank you. >> david: you got rid of that dead weight, you know what i'm saying? it's all happy all the time, hit it high, honey. don't, all right, i'll just leave it right there. [ laughter ] i will put it back down. so abbi, full disclosure, i was creep stalking your instagram. >> oh no. okay. >> david: last night i found a picture of your dog. what's your dog's name? >> desi. >> david: look at desi. >> yeah.

i catch him like this, looking into the mirror at himself sometimes. he's a rescue. i've had him for 3 1/2 years. >> david: i have two dogs. >> yeah? >> david: i have two dogs. pickles and buttercup. >> oh, my. >> david: those are my two babies. you see that dog in the front? that is mr. pickles. he is a dybbuk. he is a devil, a problem child. look at at his face. >> he knows he is. >> david: of course he is. in the back is buttercup, a greater swiss mountain dog, over 100 pounds. she's a big-boned gal. [ laughter ] simply living her truth. >> listen. >> david: so mr. pickles can't -- every time i put him in the car, he vomits. >> yeah. i actually have a lot of driving experience with desi. he loves the car. >> david: really? >> yes. sometimes he won't get out of the car. it's a whole thing, me trying to lure him out of the car. >> david: seriously? >> yeah, he's very tricky in

other ways. i actually have to drive him. we can't travel on a plane, he's 28 pounds. >> david: wait, why can't you -- >> you have to be under 25 pounds. i've driven him across the country three times. >> david: wow. >> he loves the car. >> david: so wait, you drove all the way across the country -- you're talking about from new york to -- >> yeah, i drove him once to -- i recently drove him from new york, back here. i landed two weeks, three weeks ago. yeah. and i keep driving him, a mini cooper. >> david: one of those little itty bitty cars? >> yeah. the tiniest car you can pick. >> david: and he did all right? >> yeah, he did fine. the third time's a charm, i guess. because the mini cooper -- actually, the mini cooper's done it four times. but this fourth time, we broke down. >> david: we? >> i was with jody, my fiancee. [ cheers and applause ] >> david: congratulations, by the way. >> and desi. desi occupies the whole back

seat. >> david: i heard you had quite an adventure when you drove across country. >> yeah, we broke down. in ogallala, nebraska. >> david: have you been -- nobody? >> ogallala, guys! [ laughter ] >> david: it's a small town? >> truly, it was -- jody's like, we need gas, maybe we can get a bite to eat. while we're getting out -- no offense, ogallala. she's like, there's nothing to eat, let'sget gas and out of here. >> david: a special diet or something? >> no, such a small town, there was nothing we could find. so car started to, like -- there was, like, a burning smell. and i was like, the car will tell me if something's wrong, okay? i turn it back on. it was like, something's really wrong. it's, like, service immediately. >> david: right. >> i thankfully pulled into the first auto repair shop. >> david: which is always a good idea, by the way. [ laughter ] >> the first one.

i lucked out. this guy, jim, definitely thought that jody and i were sisters. and ogallala, i thought maybe that was best, maybe that was best. [ laughter ] >> david: i understand. >> he was like, there's no other mini cooper in town. like, we don't get a lot of mini coopers here. >> david: oh, wow. >> so this part you need, not going to be here. and so i was like, okay, okay. well, we'll, like, tow it. jim knew the tower. jim hooked up the tow guy to go to denver. has a mini dealership. >> david: okay. >> so we're like, okay, tow it there. we'll rent a car. jim was like, there's no rental car company in ogallala. the closest one is an hour east. the wrong way. >> david: did you start thinking maybe jim's setting this up? >> it does sound like jim was kind of setting us up. but he was not. [ laughter ] he was not. he knew the enterprise rental

car dealership. >> david: he knew them, jim knew the rental car people too? [ laughter ] >> there was not -- this was a teeny, tiny town. i think he said there was 4,000 people in the town. >> david: okay. >> so he was like, i know the rental car person, she's going to come and pick you up, she's going to drive an hour to us. so we have it all set up. and we're sitting there. we're waiting 4 1/2 hours. as i mentioned, we hadn't eaten anything because we had judged the town earlier. [ laughter ] not eaten anything before the car broke down. maybe karma, i don't know. then jim disappears, comes back with two bags, a&w fried chicken sandwiches. >> david: nice. >> french fries, root beer floats. it was just the sweetest thing. and so -- i don't eat chicken. >> david: wait, did you tell jim, you know, i can't -- >> no. so i haven't eaten chicken in four years. i'm what they say, a pescatarian. >> david: okay. >> and jim had gotten us a tow truck, jim had gotten us enterprise, jim had made our day, as sisters.

[ laughter ] >> david: close. close sisters. >> very close sisters. [ laughter ] and i -- >> david: what? what'd you do? >> i ate the chicken sandwich. [ cheers ] >> david: i heard that, honey. >> i ate it! >> david: now look -- was it good? >> it was so good! it was so good. [ applause ] >> david: i know it was. tell me, can you tell me about "a league of their own"? not only are you starring in it, you're producing. >> yeah. >> david: is that the first time you ever put on a producer's hat? >> we did it -- alana and i did those things on "broad city" -- >> david: who? >> alana -- >> david: this is your time. abbi did it too. [ laughter ] did you play baseball before? >> i played softball as a kid. and i had -- i would have catches.

that's the thing i say, have a catch. it's a whole thing on the show. i say, have a catch. i'm from philly. people say play catch. >> david: have a catch. >> so i played -- i had catches with my dad and my brother with a baseball. and so i think i have a really good arm, but you know, we were portraying professional players. so there's some help. we were trained. >> david: you had coaches, stuff like that? >> yeah, we had coaches. >> david: is your character based on a real person who played? >> none of the characters in the show are based on any one specific person. it's sort of hundreds of people, hundreds of women. mine would be based on a bunch of women that played in all american girls professional baseball league, which is the league featured. >> david: i know there's one woman who -- i forget her name. she's in her 90s. >> maybelle blair. >> david: maybelle blair is incredible. how old was she when she came out of the closet? >> she was 95 when she came out

in june. >> david: wow. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations, maybelle. >> yeah. >> david: thank you, abbi. "a league of their own" premieres august 12th on amazon prime video. [ cheers and applause ] we will be right back with music from the shins! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. ♪ ♪ the thing that's different about a vrbo vacation home. you always have the whole place to yourself. no stranger at the dinner table making things awkward. or in another room taking up space. it's just you and your people. because why would you ever share your vacation home with someone you wouldn't share your vacation with.

♪ ♪ californians have a choice between two initiatives on sports betting. prop 27 generates hundreds of millions every year to permanently fund getting people off the streets a prop 26? not a dime to solve homelessness prop 27 has strong protections to prevent minors from betting. prop 26? no protections for minors. prop 27 helps every tribe, including disadvantaged tribes. prop 26? nothing for disadvantaged tribes vote yes on 27. ♪good vibes by moa l.m. munoz & ryan t. short♪ ♪♪ ♪bout to get down, living it up♪ ♪never touch ground, never enough♪ ♪bout to get down, living it up♪ ♪never touch ground, never enough♪ ♪got me feeling good♪ ♪vibes♪ ♪♪ ♪got me feeling good♪ ♪vibes♪

♪♪ ♪everything's everything's alright alright♪ get a free storage upgrade and case when you pre-order. >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes e-q. all electric, all mercedes. >> david: that's all the time we have. i want to thank jamie foxx and abbi jacobson. i'll be back tomorrow with ashton kutcher, amandla stenberg, and jessie reyez. "nightline" is next, but first, they are on tour right now. here with the song, "caring is creepy," the shins! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i think i'll go home and mull this over before i cram it down my throat ♪

♪ at long last it's crashed its colossal mass has broken up into bits ♪ ♪ in my moat rip the mattress off the floor walk the cramps off ♪ ♪ go meander in the cold hail to your dark skin hiding the fact you're ♪ ♪ dead again underneath the power lines seeking shade far above our heads are ♪ ♪ the icy heights that contain all reason it's a luscious mix of ♪ ♪ words and tricks that let us bet when we know we should fold on rocks i ♪ ♪ dreamt of where we'd stepped and of the whole mess of roads we're now on ♪ ♪ hold your glass up hold it in

never betray the way you've always ♪ ♪ known it is one day i'll be wondering how i got so old just wondering how ♪ ♪ i never got cold wearing nothing in the snow this is way beyond ♪ ♪ my remote concern of being condescending all these squawking birds ♪ ♪ won't quit building nothing laying bricks hold your glass up ♪ ♪ hold it in never betray the way you've always known it is ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ hold your glass up hold it in ♪ ♪ never betray the way you've always known it is one day i'll ♪ ♪ be wondering how i got so old just wondering how i never got cold wearing ♪ ♪ nothing in the snow this is way beyond my remote concern ♪ ♪ of being condescending all these squawking birds won't quit ♪ ♪ building nothing laying bricks ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, hidden epidemic. terrifying and deadly. >> sir, has she used narcotics? >> the deadliest drug in america right now, fentanyl, decimating families. >> these kids are dying from one bad decision. >> one teen's near-death experience. >> i'm trying to have the mindset that i'm here, and i was a lucky one, and i've got to make it worth it. >> what her recovery looks like today. plus the multi-talented taylor momsen. from teen star and gossip girl to rock star with hits like "heaven knows." ♪ heaven knows we belong way down below ♪ >> i fell