>> announcer: this is "nightline." tonight -- behind the spotlight. >> straight ahead. >> jeanette mccurdy a face we grew up with on nickelodeon. known for bringing the laughs. bu now sharing her inner pain. >> you pull back the curtain on child stardom. it is not a pretty picture. >> not as i see it, no. >> weighing in on her famous co-star. >> wait, wait, wait. no, say what you said. say it again one more time. >> i said i'm really smart. >> and opening up about how she says her abusive mother dominated her acting career. >> accepting that she was abusive would have meant reframing my entire life. and that felt impossible. plus, shaggy and sting. ♪ that's life ♪ the legends and musical odd

couple joining forces once again. >> shaggy sings a frank sinatra song but in a reggae style but just by yours truly. >> reporter: the englishman and jamaican putting their spin on the works of one of america's greatest crooners. >> i was terrified about doing it because it's -- it's frank. >> announcer: "nightline" will be right back.

♪ (don't stop me now) ♪ ♪♪ ♪ (don't stop me) ♪ ♪ 'cause i'm having a good time ♪ ♪ having a good time ♪ ♪ i'm a shooting star leaping through the sky like a tiger ♪ ♪ defying the laws of gravity ♪ ♪ (don't stop me now) ♪ ♪ 'cause i'm having a good time ♪ ♪ i don't wanna stop at all, yeah ♪ ♪ ah, da, da, da, da da, da, ah, ah ♪

thanks for joining us. tonight, child star jennette mccurdy grew up playing the funny plucky role of sam on nickelodeon's hit show "icarly." but behind the camera she says she suffered an agonizing adolescence marked by eating disorders and abuse from her exacting and dominating mother. when i first sat down with her she was just about to release a memoir. since then the book has become a runaway best-seller. her honesty resonating with so many. here's that interview. >> on the outside i was doing a lot of the performing, the tap dancing of like the smile and the showing up and landing on my mark and i'm going to just do what i need to do and be this, you know, happy-go-lucky nickelodeon kid. >> my name is samantha puckett and i'm from seattle and i love fried chicken! >> but inside i was hurting. it was painful. i was angry. i felt unsupported.

>> you pull back the curtain on child stardom. it is not a pretty picture. >> not as i see it, no. >> reporter: at just 15 jennette mccurdy was one of the most recognizable child stars on television, playing sam puckett in nickelodeon's hit show "icarly." >> where'd my straw go? >> here. >> reporter: to her millions of fans she was known as the funny bff. but she says behind that bubbly on-screen persona nothing about her real life was funny. >> for you what were the pitfalls of child fame? >> you're playing at an adult's game. you're in an adult's world. and you don't recognize that. you're incapable of being on that level but you're confused and you think that you are. i think it really leads to stunted personal development. >> reporter: her personal struggles eventually prompting her to abandon acting altogether. >> you say quite frankly that this was never your dream. stardom was never your dream. whose dream was it? >> my mom's.

i think she wanted me to have a better life than she had. but i also think her approach was very unhealthy and informed by her own lack of self-work. and she lived vicariously through me. >> reporter: jennette had her first audition at age 6, encouraged by her late mom, debra. their mother-daughter bond deeply disordered and chaotic. she says her family struggled financially. over time like so many other child stars her acting paid the bills. >> it felt like a lot of pressure. and then i think my mom saw my career as a way out of that life, of that way of living, of that constant grind. >> how chaotic was that childhood home? you describe it with one line that stuck with me, that the air in the house felt like a held breath. >> it was really complicated. my mom also had cancer when i was 2 years old. it was the first time she was diagnosed. so not only was it chaotic

because of the abuse that was happening, my mom's violent and erratic, unstable behavior, but also because we all lived in fear of her cancer coming back. >> reporter: that volatile relationship is at the center of jennette's dark and deeply personal memoir, "i'm glad my mom died." what made you pick that? >> i think i earned that title through the writing of the book. but i wanted it to be something that would grab people's attention and get them to pick up the book and then hopefully learn by the end of it why i have chosen that title. >> reporter: from the tender age of 11 she says her mother taught her the dangerous habit of calorie restriction, which would turn into years of eating disorders. in many ways your mother tried to keep you a child. >> yeah. i think my mom wanted to keep me as controllable as possible. i think she really wanted to have her influence on me. and me growing up was a threat to that. >> the key to that was calorie restriction. >> absolutely. i think think mom encouraged and

conditions my anorexia because both she thought that it would in some ways help my career and also because it served her goal of keeping me young and under her influence. >> reporter: the book reveals dark episodes of her childhood that for years jennette says she blocked out. she describes how her mother would give her showers and touc teenager. she referred to them as medical exams on your private parts. >> yes. this is the hardest part of the book for me to write about. it was a really emotional experience. i laughed during the writing of it and then i cried a lot after i wrote that vignette. >> you talk about basically having out of body associations. out of body experiences when this is happening to you. >> yeah. >> what do you think was going on? >> i've tried to understand, and that didn't lead me anywhere productive. i would just spin my wheels trying to understand my mom's

motives. >> this continued until you were 17? >> yeah. >> and you describe in the book that you felt violated. >> yes. i absolutely felt violated. and eventually accepting that was the most i think integral piece to my own healing and recovery. >> reporter: at the height of her stardom she landed a spinoff series, "sam & cat," starring alongside future pop star ariana grande. she writes about tensions on the set. >> say what you said. say it again. one more time. >> i said i'm really smart. >> reporter: you literally wrote, "i frequetly made the mistake of comparing my career to ariana's." >> yeah. >> "and being jealous of everything. jealous of her childhood. jealous of a music career," that you didn't even want. >> sure. i i was jealous she played charades with tom hanks. that's what got me. charades with tom hanks. >> how dare she? >> i know. i was so young at the time and i think it's really hard to not compare yourself to somebody in

that age when you're in an environment around them all the time. so i made that mistake repeatedly. and i'm -- i'm glad to be at a place now where i wouldn't trade positions with somebody. >> reporter: as the show was airing, her mother died of cancer. jennette says her life was spinning out of control. anorexia morphing into bulimia and alcohol abuse. >> i was never aiming for bulimia. i was attempting to have anorexia. but i couldn't keep it up without my mom. so then that would lead to -- i'd starve myself for so long and then i'd binge and then i'd purge because i hated the feeling of fullness. hated it. >> reporter: it would take jennette years to seek proper help and start therapy to begin grappling with her trauma. >> i couldn't initially accept the idea that my mother was abusive toward me because my whole way of life, my whole way of going through the world was -- i was operating through

this lens of my mom wants what's best for me, even after she died i'm nothing without my mom, i can't do anything without my mom, i'm incapable, i'm incompetent, what would mom think, what does mom need, that accepting she was abusive would have meant reframing my entire life. and that felt impossible. i couldn't go near that for i along time. >> reporter: jennette says that building a new life without her mom began with a stunning decision. to leave acting behind. >> why quit acting? >> it was important for my recovery at the time. it represented my mom living vicariously through me. it represented somethng that my mom wanted that i didn't want. so it was important for me to step away in a very definitive way and really just focus on -- completely on healing myself. >> reporter: reflecting back on her career, jennette's critical of the hollywood machine and the world she was exposed to at such a young age. in her book she writes that after "sam & cat" was canceled nickelodeon offered her a $300,000 thank you gift if she agreed to never speak publicly

about her experience at the network. specifically with a man she refers to as the creator, who on one occasion she says encouraged her to drink while she was still underaged and gave her a shoulder massage. in response nickelodeon telling abc news, "we have no reportable response other than a no comment at this time." >> i just said no, it's not happening. that sounds like hush money to me. i'm not doing it. i'm not taking it. and then i do remember leaning against -- i think i talk about this in the book but i'm laeanig against any bed and i go oh, shoot, that could have put my niece tluz college, that's some good money. but i am ultimately proud of my decision there wherever it came from, even if it was informed by self-righteousness. i think i did something that's very hard to do. oh, my god, it makes me emotional. i'm proud of myself. >> why? why proud of yourself? >> i think i've chosen a path of

integrity. and it hasn't always been easy. >> reporter: now 30, jennette says she's recovered from years of eating disorders and found a sense of balance for the first time in her life. >> what's your body image now, and what's your relationship to food like, and how do you sort of go about your day? >> i'm glad you asked this because when people talk about eating disorder recovery they talk about it being such an ongoing process and something you deal with every single day for the rest of your life and it's always a battle. and i think that kind of language, it doesn't help motivate. i'm at a place now where i don't obsess about food at all. i haven't engaged in any sort of disordered eating behavior for years. i'm really proud of that. >> reporter: jennette says healing also comes through in her writing. she's working on a novel and a collection of essays. and while she sees herself as a writer, she hasn't completely ruled out a return to acting. >> i just wish i could have shown my 20-year-old self me now. i would have known what i was aiming for. i would have had something to hope for, something to be encouraged about.

i didn't have that. >> what would you have told your 20-year-old self? >> look at me now, baby. you're going to be fine, kid. that's what i would have said. and up next -- shaggy and sting. music's grammy-winning odd couple. returning with an album of songs made famous by frank sinatra. ♪ and even when i'm old and gray ♪ ♪ i want to feel the way i do today ♪ ke... isn't your dishwasher, it's the detergent. i recommend cascade platinum and a new routine. let's watch it work! cascade platinum uses dawn as a built-in pre-rinse system. it rehydrates dried on food... ...lifts it off... ...and breaks it down. for sparkling clean dishes the first time. ok, who wants to start? just scrape... load... and we're done! cascade platinum. scrape, load, done. when you can't sleep... try zzzquil pure zzz's gummies.

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what's the difference between prop 26 and prop 27? 26 is a money grab that doesn't guarantee a cent for non-gaming tribes. 27 requires 15% of all state revenues go to non-gaming tribes. the choice is clear. yes, on 27. when shaggy and sting first teamed up in 2018, the duo earned a grammy. our ashan singh caught up with the two talented artists to talk about their latest collaboration

with shaggy singing some frank sinatra classics with a reggae twist. here's another look. ♪ >> and just so you know, by the way, this is my show. >> yeah, this looks like your show right now. >> he's just doing backup tonight by the way. >> reporter: it's the odd couple that almost makes too much sense. >> can i take your picture down when i perform tonight? because i love it. >> no, can you leave it up while you're doing it? >> no, i don't think so. because the audience is going to be confused. >> i just think they want something good to look at. ♪ >> reporter: legendary artists sting and shaggy are back. the two were kind enough to make time for me and each other in vegas before hitting the stage for their separate shows. sting performing on this night as part of his residency at the iconic caesars palace. ♪ i'll send an s.o.s. to the world ♪ the duo has teamed up musically again. ♪ feel the way i do ♪

but this time they're trying their hand at the sultan of swoon. an album of frank sinatra classics. what did it mean for you to be covering frank sinatra's records? >> well, for me in jamaica a lot of people don't know that on sundays in my household, in most households, they played a lot of american music. and so like frank sinatra, bing crosby, you know, people like nat "king" cole. so it goes well with chicken and rice and beans as part of the culture. >> my dad was a big frank sinatra fan. it's been part of my musical dna for my whole life. >> reporter: produced by sting and sung by shaggy, called "come fly wid mi." named after the classic twist but with a jamaican twist. one of those singles, "that's life." ♪ that's life ♪ ♪ that's life ♪ ♪ that's what all the people say ♪ >> i think the shock on people's face when they hear it in reggae. because obviously they know the songs. but when they hear that drum

roll, and they hear that bass line start, they're like what? and then i'm like -- ♪ that's life ♪ and they're going -- what is -- >> you know, we had a profound respect for the material. >> oh, my god. the songwriting. >> it was a big responsibility. so we made absolutely sure that we did it right. >> i was terrified about doing it because it's frank. you know, these are iconic songs and they have to be done right. and for me to take that kind of leap, if i'm going to do that, this is the best guy to do it with because he's so damn meticulous. >> where did the idea actually come from? >> we were on tour in norway, and we rented a boat. we had a day off. and i went swimming in the fjord. mistake. when i get back, he's got the stereo on and he's singing along with frank. and i hear that he has the same range. he's a baritone tenor. i'm a tenor. he's a baritone tenor.

and i'm thinking that sounds pretty good. and then i had this idea, in neon lights. shaggy sings the frank sinatra songbook in a reggae style, produced by yours truly. >> reporter: the duo began collaborating just over four years ago. releasing their debut "44876." mixing their genres of rock and reggae. it went on to win a grammy for best reggae album. "nightline" sat down with them back in 2018. >> so this pairing is odd. but when you hear the music, you will be surprised again. and then you'll think, well, that isn't so surprising because they do blend together in a very remarkable way. >> you know, the early police records, you know, had very heavy reggae influence. ♪ roxanne ♪ >> like the classic "roxanne." ♪ you don't have to put on the red light ♪ and "message in a bottle." ♪ message in a bottle, yeah ♪ sting, with 17 grammy wins under

his belt and over 100 million albums sold. his osuperstardom has proven timeless. his time as the police's front man was just the beginning of a career that spanned decades and now generations. ♪ boombastic ♪ and shaggy appears to be following in the same footsteps. the jamaican singer has sold over 20 million albums including boombastic from 1995 which went on to win a grammy for best reggae album. not to mention the legendary hit "it wasn't me." the iconic single that was the soundtrack to summers in the 2000s. ♪ shaggy's second grammy came over 20 years later after collaborating with sting. it's fair to say if you didn't grow up on one you grew up on the other. >> i mean, it sounds like you guys are still hanging out four years later. are you guys not sick of each other yet? >> a bit. >> sometimes. > most of what we do was down to us just having a really good time. so even if we have an

excited about it and we know we're going to be together and it's all just laughs. >> it's all about surprise. music is about surprise. ♪ you make me feel so young ♪ >> reporter: sting, an englishman, and shaggy a jamaican, both finding inspiration in what makes frank's music uniquely american. heard here and you make me feel so young. ♪ you make me feel so young ♪ >> one of the interesting things about the frank sinatra material, it was created by second generation jewish and italian immigrants. it was immigrant music and it's also one of the jewels of american culture. so we have to remember that, what immigrants bring to the country is something unexpected and wonderful. >> what do you want people to take away from this record? >> a smile. >> yes. >> a smile. >> just to be happy. >> i think the world needs the smile at the moment. there's so much going on that's the opposite. and people hear the record and they start smiling. that's what we need. >> that's our job, is to make people's lives be a little bit

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and finally, tomorrow. a special edition of "nightline." david muir reporting on the ground in ukraine. his exclusive interview with president zelenskyy inside his heavily fortified office and what zelenskyy said about ukraine's counteroffensive and the threat at europe's largest nuclear plant. plus his message to the american people. >> what would you say to americans, our viewers back home, to people all over the world? we've seen it in the u.s., the

ukrainian flag in people's front lawns. americans have watched this war. they have followed it very closely. >> i really appreciate everybody from united states. ordinary people who -- who helped us, who supported us and now support. it's not about the past. we're speaking about future. this war is not finished yet. but will be. >> and that's "nightline." you can watch all of our full episodes on hulu. we'll see you right back here