dan: i am dan ashley. we appreciate your time. ama: have a great night. >> lou: from brooklyn, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- amy schumer, charlamagne tha god, and music from run the jewels. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ >> jimmy: hello! hello brooklyn! hi, everybody.

thanks! please relax, sit. it's embarrassing. i miss you too. [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. it's great to be here. that's very kind. please sit. i'll be here all week. i don't want to use it all up. thank you, that's very kind of you, and thank you for joining us. and thanks for watching on our first night from b.a.m., the brooklyn academy of music. we haven't been to new york since 2019. it's great to be here. have we missed anything? how's mayor deblasio doing? good? i love being back here. the people in brooklyn -- everybody thinks people in brooklyn are rude. that's not true at all. the people in this city are as warm as that weird air that blows out of the subway grates. they're the greatest. don't get me wrong, i love california, but brooklyn has a special something we don't have on the west coast -- it's called water. and it's delicious.

speaking of water, we got a lot of rain here last night. i had to watch a youtube video on how to open an umbrella last night. and it's hurricane season. and down in florida, you may have heard they are bracing for hurricane ian, whose progress is being carefully tracked. >> here's what we see. and it's a little bit misleading on this lane. let me explain this. if you look at this, what you think you see is all kind of tracks here over florida and fewer over here. >> jimmy: that's not what i think i see. you know, there's only one rule when it comes to operating a telestrator -- it's "don't draw" and yet. we brought our whole crew here from los angeles, 270 people. [ cheering ] and we're all staying in the area here in brooklyn. if you noticed people waiting for the lights to turn green before crossing the street, they're probably with us. which reminds me, where is guillermo?

did he miss the show? is he -- do we have some big entrance planned for him perhaps? >> brooooklyn! make some noise! from zacatecas, mexico, known around the world as "el presidente," the big agave, mister mustache, the deala of tequila, towering at 5'5", 245 pounds, your security point guard -- guillermo! >> jimmy: your tie came off. >> guillermo: how are you? >> jimmy: well, his secret is out. guillermo wears a clip-on tie. >> guillermo: how you?

>> jimmy: you wear the same tie like a 7-year-old wears to a wedding. >> guillermo: thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: are you having fun here in brooklyn? >> guillermo: a lot of fun. i love new york! [ cheering ] >> jimmy: people are so excited. i think new york really loves you too, because people go crazy when they see guillermo. it's like a pinata came to life. >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: have you been on the subway yet? >> guillermo: no, i haven't, jimmy. >> jimmy: big changes are coming to the new york subway system. last week, kathy hochul, the governor of new york -- i guarantee less than 3% of you knew that. but she is the governor of new york. she announced that by 2025, new york city will have surveillance cameras in every subway car. the plan is to have cameras on every train, and then charge this is only going to disturb public masturbators or really excite them.

how are there not already every cameras? there are cameras in every aisle at duane reade. i find it hard to steal lipstick anymore. why does it take three years? the ring cameras, you lick the back of them and stick them on the wall. but these won't be installed until 2025. so if you're planning to commit a crime on the subway, there is no rush. you have plenty of time. earlier tonight, i was with joe buck and troy aikman at metlife stadium for monday night football. the giants hosted their hated rivals, the dallas cowboys. who were you rooting for, in that game, guillermo? >> jimmy: guillermo is a big dallas cowboys fan. i wanted to point that out. he is. he loves it. [ booing ] >> jimmy: not so cute anymore, is he? the giants started the season undefeated, to which the jets said, ooh, we didn't know you could do that. the rivalry between the giants and cowboys goes back a long

way, but no rivalry in professional sports generates as much hatred as the yankees and red sox. [ applause ] we came at a fun time for baseball in new york. the yankees and mets are both headed to the playoffs. aaron judge is hitting home runs like crazy. [ cheering ] and the red sox are in last place. so we decided that would be fun, we had a camera crew in boston. we put them right outside fenway park. we wanted to see if we could get red sox fans, hard-core red sox fans to switch sides and cheer for the yankees in a special bitter baseball rivalry edition of "traitor schmoes." >> all right. tell us your name, young lady. >> jean. >> jean, where are you from? >> hanover. >> big red sox fans? >> big, yeah. >> you guys red sox fans? >> yeah. >> how important is it to raise charlie as a red sox fan? >> it's of utmost importance, above education, morals,

religion. he is going to be a red sox fan. >> what do you love about the red sox? >> i'm from boston myself, you know. boston until i die. >> how do you feel about the yankees? >> i don't. i have no feelings for them whatsoever. >> i [ bleep ] hate the yankees. >> yeah, [ bleep ]. >> look right in there and say go red sox! >> go red sox! >> that was great. guys, i hate to ask you this. we're trying to do this thing to teach kids and everybody about unity and something transcends sports. any chance i can get you to quickly toss on some new york gear. come on, real quick. >> no! >> this is a giant one. you can put the whole thing right over. >> you can hold it there. >> i'm not touching it. >> my skin is burning! >> just like that. >> no! >> talk a little bit about how much you love the yankees. >> they're garbage. [ laughter ]

>> any chance i could get you to throw on a new york hat? >> oh, dude, you're really pushing it. i want to be a part of it. new york, new york, go yankees! >> the big apple. more like the big trappel. go red sox, beantown more like little wean town. go yankees. >> we're red hot for the red sox. we're yahoo for the yankees. >> new york is full of rejects and rats. go red sox! boston is full of losers and lobsters. go yankees. [ bleep ]. >> go yankees! >> we [ bleep ] the yankees. >> new york yankees, they are the best. best team out there. >> is that a new york accent? >> i'm trying. >> how important is loyalty to you guys? >> it means everything. >> yeah. >> i love boston so much, new england clam chowder runs in my veins. >> i love boston so much, new england clam chowder for the

living. >> hit it, [ bleep ]. >> i'm from boston. we love new england clam chowder. >> wait, wait, wait. new england clam chowder. >> eat food like a baby. >> i love boston so much, new england clam chowder runs in my veins. >> i love the yankees so much -- >> i got to say that too? the yankees? >> try it. yeah. i love the new york yankees so much, manhattan clam chowder runs in my veins. >> i love the new york yankees so much manhattan clam chowder runs in my veins. >> chug, chug, chug, chug. all of it. >> edgar? >> yes. >> where are you from, edgar? >> bronx, new york. >> excellent. are you yankees fan? >> big yankees fan. >> what do you love about the yankees? >> everything. the tradition, the history. >> can i get you toss on this real quick?

>> no. >> just for a second, just for a second. it doesn't matter. >> no, no, no. i won't do it. you have no idea what that would do for me. >> so you're saying a new york yankees fan won't put on a boston red sox cap? >> i won't. ♪ >> jimmy: all right. hey, we have a fun show for you tonight. charlamagne tha god is here. we've got music from run the jewels. and we'll be back with amy schumer from the brooklyn academy of music. [ cheering and applause ] >> abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by hotels.com. it's cool, i don't want anything long term either. just a few nights of fun. i'm looking for someone who will let loose, dress up a little, see a show, order the steak,

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♪ >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. we are, as it says on the desk, we're in brooklyn with our guest tonight. he is a popular morning radio dj and host of the show "hell of a week" on comedy central -- charlamagne tha god is with us. [ cheering and applause ] then later, this is atlanta and brooklyn joined forces. there is their most recent album. "rtj 4" -- run the jewels,

featuring greg nice and dj premier. and we have more greatness in store this week. tomorrow night, david letterman, and tracy morgan will be here with us. mila kunis, ramy youssef, desus nice, ben stiller, jason bateman, paul simon, yeah yeah yeahs, future, and we'll have some surprise guests on the show too. good times all week long. our first guest tonight is one of the funniest people in all five boroughs and beyond. you can see her live on the "whore tour," and a new season of "inside amy schumer" premieres october 20 on paramount plus. please welcome amy schumer. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: how you doing? >> oh, my gosh.

>> jimmy: amy. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i want to start by apologizing, because just a moment ago, when we hugged and i was talking. >> yeah? >> jimmy: i actually ate a little of your hair. >> oh. >> jimmy: sorry about that. i didn't mean to. >> can i have it back? these are hair extensions. >> jimmy: oh, are they? >> yes. >> jimmy: so i hate a little of a stranger's. >> hey, you owe her money. >> jimmy: somebody's hair. thank you for being here. i can't think of a better way the start the week than with you. >> thank you for having me. this is a hot show. >> jimmy: it's very hot. that's what people are saying. >> i mean, the whole week is hot. but charlamagne tha god, run the jewels? >> jimmy: oh, yeah, it's good. >> i'm freaking out. i'm freaking out. >> jimmy: we pay extra close attention to these weeks in brooklyn. the rest of the year is kind of crappy. >> who cares. >> here it's fun. happy rosh hashanah to you. happy new year. >> a blessing on your cup. >> jimmy: do you make a resolution or do anything like that to celebrate the new year?

>> actually, yeah, it's a little shallow, but i just started intermittent binging. >> jimmy: oh. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i've started that too. >> can you tell? i'm wearing an actual mumu. i swear, i'm hiding a pregnancy. i've been doing a plant-based diet, just edibles. >> jimmy: oh. >> yeah. >> jimmy: gummy fruits and what not? >> yeah. that's who i am now. >> jimmy: whatever you're doing, it's working. >> it's working? i look amazing? i'm so blessed. >> jimmy: what have you been up to? what's going on in your life? >> what have i been up to? i've been mostly kicking it with adam levine. >> jimmy: oh. have you? >> that's me. that's me. >> jimmy: and your husband, i assume is okay with that? >> oh my god, he totally respects my choices. >> jimmy: yes. that's a good guy, good man. >> yeah, yeah. no, we have a good sex life. we do. >> jimmy: oh good. >> we're there, right?

it's brooklyn. i live in brooklyn. we're there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and, you know, married people, have you found this? we have found -- you're married. >> jimmy: yep. >> did you know that? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> so we have found that the best weekday to have sex is always tomorrow. yeah. [ laughter ] >> we ate today. maybe we won't eat tomorrow that will be a big day for us. >> jimmy: that's how you keep it fresh. >> but let's just be real. it's weird to have sex with your spouse. it is. >> jimmy: what do you mean by that? >> because that's your family. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is true. >> holidays together, you know? he is my emergency contact. disgusting. >> jimmy: yeah, i can see what you mean. it's like having sex with a favorite uncle.

>> yeah, exactly, exactly. >> jimmy: how long have you lived in brooklyn? >> we just moved here. but i lived here back in day too. >> jimmy: you did? >> the apartment is a little different now. >> jimmy: were these like the old days with roommates and that kind of stuff? >> my first apartment, i found my roommate, this was in a studio. if you live in a nice city and don't know what a studio is, it was the size of this rug. >> jimmy: a nice city! >> and i had a roommate that i met on craigslist, and we shared it. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. it wound up being great. we watched a lot of "will & grace," and she was cool. but it was dark time. >> jimmy: do you keep in touch with that roommate? >> no, but brittany, if you're out there, what's up, girl? >> jimmy: did you live in any of the other boroughs or just brooklyn in the city? >> i lived in all the acceptable boroughs. >> jimmy: oh, all. >> and i'm not going to say the one i'm excluding. but you know what it is. you know. [ cheering ]

i love pete davidson, but -- >> jimmy: i kind of guessed. >> not enough to take a ferry. you get it. >> jimmy: now you have -- you got a family. >> my god. >> jimmy: the whole thing. >> the whole thing. >> jimmy: your husband is a chef. he is a farmer. can he farm out here? is there any farming actually going on? >> oh my god, yes. i actually -- i mean, i walked outside, and he was chopping down a tree the other day. >> jimmy: was he really? >> yes. but, yeah, he totally -- he is writing his next cookbook. you know he ask a james beard award. just saying. yeah. we have a pizza oven. >> jimmy: is that why he was chopping down the tree, for his cookbook? >> i don't know. i really came outside and he was chopping a tree. the neighbors are what's going on? i don't know. >> jimmy: you were on tour right now doing stand-up. is it good to be back out on the road doing this stuff?

>> oh, my gosh, it's amazing. i mean, you feel it. it's so good. [ cheering ] it's been incredible. it's been incredible. yeah, i missed it. and you can feel the crowds are excited. but we have -- we did just have a medical situation in the audience. yeah, in boston actually. >> jimmy: oh really, okay. >> and i learned a lot about the audience that comes to see me, because so this guy was having a seizure in the balcony. >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> he is fine. i didn't follow up, but i'm assuming, you know. [ laughter ] >> no, he walked out. >> jimmy: you spotted this guy having a seizure? >> everyone is yelling help. so i put the house lights on. and then what do you do next? this is how i found out about my crowd. i'm like we need a doctor. not one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in boston? >> my entire audience in boston, not one doctor is in my demographic. so of course i'm nurses? 30 nurses were there.

but they were all hammered, you know. they weren't on call. let them live, let them have a good time. so i was desperate. any "grey's anatomy" fans? can someone go? do something. but he is fine. >> jimmy: and again, you assumed the man is fine, yeah. >> i'm sure he is great. >> jimmy: i saw the first couple of episodes of your new -- your new old show, "inside amy schumer." it is absolutely hilarious. we're going see a clip when we come back. amy schumer is with us. ♪ or go home'. big do your thing. god, i really like this outfit. the world is watching. touchdown! i need all the heroes i can get. here we come. it's time to do it. oh.

this is really kind of doing it for me. your shipping manager left to “find themself.” leaving you lost. you need to hire. i need indeed. indeed you do. indeed instant match instantly delivers quality candidates matching your job description. visit indeed.com/hire ♪♪ whenever heartburn strikes get fast relief with tums. it's time to love food back. ♪ tum tum tum tum tums ♪ i'll remember that chapter of my life forever. we laughed. we cried. we protected that progressive home & auto bundle day and night. we left our blood, sweat, and tears on that yard. well...jamie did anyway.

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i'm a mom, and i support the second second amendment. >> i'm a teacher, and so i do. >> there is a lot of talk about guns going on in america right now. >> but no government has the right to tell me how to defend my family. that's why as a mom -- >> as a teacher -- >> and as an american -- >> i will always be proud to drive a tank.

>> jimmy: that's amy schumer with a tank. amy has -- this is season 5 or 6 or "inside amy schumer"? >> season 5. >> jimmy: and how long has it been since the last season? >> the last season was 2016. and that's not a coincidence. i was incredibly depressed since then. >> jimmy: and you're like hey, let's do it again. did they come to you and say please do it again? or is it a standing offer or what? >> yeah, yeah. it was always a standing offer. i didn't really feel like i had anything to say, and i was really too bummed about the election. i don't know if you guys read about it. and just all of it. and then, yeah, but i felt ready to do it again. and we had the best time. >> jimmy: and do you believe it is an american's right under the second amendment to own a tank? >> absolutely. yeah. everybody -- look under your seats. you get a tank, you get a -- yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: so with this big gap from doing last season of the show and doing this one, the world has changed a lot since

then. >> not good. >> jimmy: it's not good. >> not good. >> jimmy: did you feel that like in your writer's room when you're coming up with bits? did that affect you? >> yeah. i mean, we, like, had to talk about all the ish going on that's unbelievable, you know. >> jimmy: right. >> like the sickening stuff. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and the poor iranians right now. we're with you, women. we see you. we're looking at you. [ cheering ] >> jimmy: do you find that the show is now -- it's easier to get people to be a part of the show? because i know you have guest stars and famous people like interspersed throughout the show. >> yeah. ad i don't know if you -- like i am such a -- i've always lived in new york. but i love movies and l.a. and all that. i love the gossip and everything. >> jimmy: right. >> i saw "top gun" the week it came out. did you see it? it was cute. i was good. i'm so impressed. do you know that tom cruise does all his own scientology?

>> jimmy: i had heard that. i read some. >> yeah, it's really impressive. >> jimmy: some multipage think pieces on that. >> i'm blown away. i'm blown away. >> jimmy: there are even some books about it. >> what can't he do? >> jimmy: but "top gun" was good. would you ever move to l.a.? is that some place you would like to live? >> no. [ cheering ] >> no. i need like -- i need the stress of new york. >> jimmy: you like that? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you feast on that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you do -- like i noticed walking around this town that parents will bring their children in any place, like into a bar, like they'll bring a baby into a bar. >> that's me. >> jimmy: will you do that? >> yeah. actually, i did put something on instagram where my son was asleep on me and it's so cute and i'm reaching for my drink around him, you know. as social services is at my door.

yeah, but i mean, it's just -- like this generation, these younger people that i see, it's just so different. just social media. i saw these girls, they must have been 12 years old. they were taking selfies. and they knew their angles. 12 years old, you know. like they did the trick, we all do to make your leg look thinner, you put it to the side. i'm 41, i know my angles. >> jimmy: all right. >> at this point, a photographer gets in a tree, and i dig a deep trench. that's me. yeah. [ laughter ] yeah. >> jimmy: when you came up with the name "the whore tour" for your comedy tour, i would be gist delighted? i would imagine that you'd be oh, that's great. >> thank you for knowing it was me. >> jimmy: of course it was you. who is going to pitch that to you? >> excuse me?

i was pretty fired up. and some newspapers won't even print it. they won't put it up on the marquee in some towns so it feels like you're doing something right. >> jimmy: are you bringing your son on the whore tower with you? >> my son is not on the whore tour with me. it's a place for whores. it's not a place for children. but i come back. i get a couple of days a week at home. >> jimmy: i see. so you're not just out in a bus, one city after another. >> no. >> jimmy: you're going back home. >> i'm going back, yeah. heading right back to being mom. >> jimmy: where are you going next? what's the next stop? >> baltimore on wednesday. >> jimmy: baltimore on wednesday. all right. if you're -- if you're a baltimore whore -- >> it's sold out. >> jimmy: oh, it's sold out? well, then you probably already have tickets. it's great to have you here.

thank you for coming. >> such a pleasure. >> jimmy: it's great to have you back. 20th on paramount plus.ctober - and you can see amy live on the whore tour if you can get tickets. we'll be back with charlamagne tha god. ♪ [ cheering and applause ] ♪ ♪ luxury exemplified. innovation electrified. with apple music seamlessly integrated. the all-new, all-electric eqs suv from mercedes-benz. moderate to severe eczema still disrupts my skin. despite treatment it disrupts my skin with itch.

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♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: hello there. welcome back. music from run the jewels is on the way. our next guest interviewed everyone from fat joe to president joe and he has a tv show too. it's call "hell of a week." you can watch thursdays on comedy central. please welcome charlamagne tha god. [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how you doing? >> hey, brooklyn, what's happening? [ cheering ]

a couple thousand people in brooklyn. i'm not nervous at all. what's up, jimmy? >> jimmy: you shouldn't be nervous. you're a veteran. well, you're a god, for god's sake. you started, like i did, in radio. >> yes. >> jimmy: and you're still in radio. you still have a nationally syndicated morning radio show. >> that's right. "the breakfast club." [ applause ] >> jimmy: i cannot imagine doing a television show and doing -- i think really just you and ryan seacrest would do that. but that's got -- >> steve harvey did it for a minute. >> jimmy: yes. steve harvey had like 35 shows on the air simultaneously. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. i've been broke and i lived with my mom at 31 years old after being fired from radio four times. so i'm not turning nothing down. i'm not turning nothing. >> jimmy: you never forget, that do you? >> never, never. >> jimmy: when they would fire you, would you ever know they're going to fire you? >> no. because they would call you in the office and say things like we're moving in another direction. >> jimmy: yeah, right.

>> and they never really tell you why. but i know myself. >> jimmy: did they ever go in your office -- >> office? >> jimmy: you didn't have an office? >> no. i suffer from ptsd for things like that. to this day i don't have an office. 13 years of breakfast club, i do not have an office that is the worst feeling in the world when you have this little box with nothing in it like raisins, you know, and a couple of bs awards. i don't want that. >> jimmy: this is interesting. so you're saying you can never be removed from your office if you don't have one? great. [ applause ] by the same logic, though, you can never get in a car accident if you don't have a car. do you have car? >> i do. >> jimmy: all right. >> i do have a car. >> jimmy: i can't believe we've never met. i'm surprised that we never met. >> i know. we have a loft mutual associates. >> jimmy: we do. >> tiffany haddish. >> tiffany haddish, yeah. >> i thought you had tiffany had a black mitzvah a couple years ago.

>> jimmy: tiffany haddish had a bar mitzvah. she called it a black mitzvah. you know, she said it was black mitzvah, but it turned out to really be a bar mitzvah. i thought she was joking. oh, this is funny. and i got there, and it was very serious. she is jewish. >> for me, it was very black. >> jimmy: was it? >> so it's probably because i didn't know what to look for on the jewish side. so to you it probably was very jewish. to me it was very black. but that's why it was a black mitzvah. >> jimmy: you work a lot too, don't you? you've got a lot going on. the podcast as well. >> i have a podcast network called the black effect podcast a joint venture with i heart radio. we're partnering with a lot of great podcasts, you know, like the 85 south show, all the smoke and drink champs, horrible decisions. >> jimmy: yeah. and then -- >> nobody familiar? >> jimmy: no, they don't know. >> oh, this is gentrified brooklyn! oh. okay. >> jimmy: but i wonder, like you run out of topics? do you run out of things to talk

about when you're on the air that much? >> that's a great question. it's not that i run out of things to talk about. it's that i run out of things that i care to talk about. >> jimmy: right. >> you know what i'm saying? i'm 44 years old. i'm married. i got four daughters. some of this stuff, i really don't care about, you know what i mean? so you have to come in the morning and act like you care when you really don't? and i'm not good at pretending. i'm getting to the point where i don't care, guys. you know? that's the only thing. >> jimmy: how old are your daughters? >> 14, 7, 4, and -- actually, the last one will be 1 tomorrow. >> jimmy: wow, oh, wow. >> yeah. and my third, my third just turned 4 friday. >> jimmy: do they call you charlamagne the dad? >> nah, they have no idea who that is. my oldest daughter understands now because in high school, she a freshman in high school. and i realize when i went to the back to school function that they have for parents, it with

was a lot of people there that listen to the breakfast club. and i met this one lovely couple who let me know that their son is in my daughter's home room, and he calls her by her name and tha god. >> jimmy: yes. >> my 7-year-old is dad, you're in the tv. why are you in the tv? and that's actually a very good question, because i have no idea why i'm in the tv. >> jimmy: are you having fun doing the tv show? >> oh, yeah, very much so. >> jimmy: you changed titles on the tv show. and the tv show is different than when you started. >> yeah. >> jimmy: why did you switch the title of your show? >> because corporate told me to. corporate said that hell of a week read more like a late night talk show. >> jimmy: hell of a week? yeah. >> and who i am to argue with the people that do this for a living. >> jimmy: it is a good title. >> i think it's a good title. but it's not like i had a choice in the matter. >> jimmy: oh, you didn't. you just went along with it. so you've had -- a lot of people, i know you have a lot of politicians, a lot of obviously musicians, a lot of pop culture figures. and i know this is a question

you get asked a lot. i'm not talking about somebody like oprah or something like that that everybody want to have on the show. but there is -- is there somebody off the radar that you've always wanted to have on one of your many shows? >> i don't know how off the radar it, but the children's author judy blume. >> jimmy: judy blume? >> yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you're a judy blume fan? >> a huge judy blume fan. my mother is an english teacher. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. [ cheering ] when i was young, she would always tell me to read things that don't pertain to me. so when i was in the library. >> jimmy: that's great advice. >> i see these cover of books with these little white girls on the front. well, i don't think that pertains to me, you know. so i started reading like -- and the book program, where you had to read four books to get a free pizza. and so i guess that's why saying i look like a ninja turtle for so long because i really do like

pizza. i used to run through judy blume and beverly clearly books all the time. and what's so interesting about judy blume books is the stories. even though those were rooted in the experience of little white girls, they were anybody's experience because she had a lot of things socially redeeming value in the books. blubber was about obesity. are you there, god, it's me margaret was about spirituality. i feel like i got a lot of my early storytelling ability from reading those books. >> jimmy: wow. have you passed those books along to your daughters? >> what's interesting, i guess i talk about judy blume a lot, and i've talked about her in my books. and she actually sent me an autographed copy of "are you there, god, it's me margaret." maybe four, five years ago. at the time my daughter was 9. i gave her "are you there, god, it's me, margaret" to read. she wasn't feeling it. >> jimmy: she didn't like it? >> it really hurt my feeling, to the point i might have to get her blood tested. how do you not like this "are you there, god, it's me

margaret." i want her to read it again in a couple of years. i want to know if she didn't like it because she didn't like it or she is rebelling against daddy. she is at that phase. >> jimmy: yeah, sure, of course. >> she has been there for about five years. they say daughters grow out of it. i don't know when. but it's really hurtful when it's happening, you know. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, i know. what i remember about judy blume is i don't know why, i only remember the dirty stuff. i remember a book called "wifey," which was -- as i recall, we were passing it around the school bus. and there was -- >> i don't think that's judy blume, bro. >> jimmy: "wifey"? >> that sound like penthouse or something. >> jimmy: when it comes to dirty stuff, i don't forget. i remember. >> i thought you was going to say i must, i must, i must, increase my bust part. >> jimmy:. no. was that from the book? >> that was "are you there, god? it's me margaret."

that was the young lady before surgery was popuar, people used to do affirmations, you know. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i remember that from laverne and shirley. >> i flipped it. i say i must, i must, i must increase my thrust. >> jimmy: and is it working? >> no, it didn't work. i'm very regular. >> jimmy: what do you do before radio? is that your first job? >> my first real -- i'm not going to say real corporate. i worked a lot of odd jobs. you know what i was saying. i was running the streets and doing things that i had no business doing like selling crack. >> jimmy: oh. >> i wanted to create positive energy in my life. there was this acronym that wu tang used to say. it was peace, i started working a bunch of odd jobs. i worked at a factory called industrial acoustics company and telemarketing. i was the guy that would call your house and try to sell you 12 cds for a penny. me and my now wife worked at a clothing store called demo in the mall. and i worked at taco bell for two weeks.

until my sister fired me. >> jimmy: why? did you quit? >> no, my sister fired me. >> jimmy: your sister? >> my older sister teresa fired me after a couple weeks. >> jimmy: that's hard-core to fire your own brother. >> i deserved it. i deserved it. >> jimmy: well, it's great to have you here. it's great to get to know you a little bit. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: congratulations on all your incredible things, including your television show. it's called "hell of a week with charlamagne that god." thursdays at 11:30 on comedy central. charlamagne tha god, everybody. we'll be back with run the jewels. ♪

fanduel and draftkings, two out of state corporations making big promises. what's the real math behind prop 27, their ballot measure for online sports betting? 90% of profits go to the out of state corporations permanently. only eight and a half cents is left for the homeless. and in virginia, arizona, and other states, fanduel and draftkings use loopholes to pay far less than was promised. sound familiar? it should. vote no on prop 27.

the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series in brooklyn is presented by mercedes-eq. all electric, all mercedes. >> jimmy: thanks to amy schumer and charlemagne. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him tonight. tomorrow night -- david letterman and tracy morgan will be with us. "nightline" is next, but first -- the album is called "rtj 4." here with the song "ooh la la," with help from greg nice and dj premier -- run the jewels!

>> new york city what up! new york city, what's up? ♪ ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ♪ ♪ let's go ♪ ♪ ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui ♪ >> tell them, man. ♪ lookin for m's like i lost a friend jump out of my bed like where the bread ♪ ♪ you can hold the egg waiter bring the check when we talk we kalachnikov keep us in your thoughts ♪ ♪ fully dressed at the crack of dawn weapons letting off ♪ >> i can see them when they tossing ♪ ♪ seasons greetings now feeding season can start oh my god ♪ ♪ look alive lookin' like i live life on a crooked line ♪ ♪ doing fine you want maximum stupid i am the guy ♪ ♪ first of all -- the -- law we

is -- raw ♪ ♪ steak tartare oysters on the half shell sushi bar ♪ ♪ like a chick and she really thick ♪ ♪i'm a dog i'm a dirty dog ha ha ha ha ha ♪ ♪ old dirty bastard go in your jaw shimmy shimmy ya ♪ ♪ got the semi and the hemi goin' gimme gimme y'all ♪ ♪ pugilistic my linguistics are jeru the damaja and i rap it pornographic bitch set up the camera ♪ ♪ ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ♪ ♪ ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ♪ ♪ ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ♪ ♪ you covet disruption i got you covered i'm bussin' ♪ ♪ my brothers a runner he crushin' its no discussion ♪ ♪ i used to be munchkin i wasn't 'sposed to be nothin' ♪ ♪ y'all -- corrupted and up to somethin' disgustin' ♪ ♪ my pockets are plumper this season i love to cuff 'em ♪ ♪ i'm afraid of nothing but nothingness ain't it somethin' ♪

♪ war mongers are dumpin' they'll point and click at your pumpkin ♪ ♪ your suffering is scrumptious they'll put your kids in the oven ♪ ♪ -- a king or queen and all of they loyal subjects ♪ ♪ i pull my peter out the shoes in public ♪ ♪ people we the powers the product of this great republic ♪ ♪ no matter what you order -- we what you're stuck with ♪ ♪ i used to love bruce but livin' my vida loca help me understand i'm probably more of a joker ♪ ♪ when we usher in chaos just know we did it smiling cannibals on this island inmates run the asylum ♪ ♪ ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ooh la la ah oui oui ♪ ♪ ooh la la ah oui oui >> dj premier! ♪ >> that boy is bad! ooh la la ah oui oui ♪

ah oui, ah oui oui ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> love you all, new york city. love you all, brooklyn. thank you, jimmy. we're run the jewels! new york! ♪ ♪ ♪

this is "nightline." >> tonight, nightmare in paradise. >> we are getting rashes, and then the gastro pain. >> jet fuel spilling into pearl harbor's drinking water. military families in hawaii saying it made them sick. >> i went to go make my husband's drink and pulled ice out of the freezer, and it was pure yellow jet fuel ice. you could smell it. >> what the navy's investigation found. >> the buck stops with you. >> i'm the executive agent right now for this. >> and why some now claim the navy is harboring toxic secrets. plus, mad honey, a