>> when from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! and the multiverse of midterm madness! tonight, bill maher, george conway, and music from breland. with clothe toe and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. gracias. cleto. very nice. hello, my fellow americans. i'm jimmy. thank you for joining us for election night. our award-winning coverage starts now. we are live from our headquarters in hollywood.

not only are we live, our audience tonight, this is exciting, our studio audience is made up entirely of herschel walker's children. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and a good-looking group. wait till he meets you guys. daddy's going to love you. that senate race in georgia is one we're watching closely. we'll have a ticker on the screen so you don't have to go to msnbc or any of that stuff. at midnight we also saw what scientists say will be the last lunar eclipse until 2025. a blood moon. and i don't know much about the ancient mayans, but pretty sure a blood moon on election night means everything's totally fine, right? [ laughter ] right, guillermo? >> guillermo: right, jimmy, yes. >> jimmy: oh, wow, look at that. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: the very latest in

election fashion. a suit made out of stickers. what do the stickers say? >> guillermo: i voted. >> jimmy: i voted, that's right. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo had to vote 900 times today to make that suit. [ laughter ] you're going to jail but you look great. >> guillermo: thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: a lot of people posted photos with their "i voted" stickers. every state has a different design. beto o'rourke, running for governor in texas, has an "i voted" sticker with a cactus on it. former first lady malaria trump -- [ laughter ] a sticker with her husband donald. dr. oz is running for a seat in pennsylvania. he voted in his home state of new jersey. [ laughter ] president biden's sticker is actually a pin that says "win with taft." [ laughter ] probably an old suit. [ applause ] eric trump, i don't know if he voted. [ laughter ] "i was a brave boy at the dentist." why his teeth look so great. republicans were expecting a big

night, expecting to win control of the house. you know, last time republicans took control of the house, they were hitting police with flagpoles and pooping in it. traditionally the midterm elections go to whichever party doesn't have the white house. it's only gone the other way in the house twice since 1946. but donald trump has a different way of looking at it. when it's all said and done, here's how donald trump thinks credit should be assigned when it comes to candidates he endorsed. >> if they win, i should get all the credit. if they lose, i should not be blamed at all, okay? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he'd be a great football coach. you know? [ laughter ] i think it was vince lombardi who said, "boys, if we win, i should get all the credit, if we lose, that's on you, i shouldn't be blamed at all." [ laughter ] trump's budding nemesis governor ron desantis won his race in florida bigly tonight. this is how much trumpcares about his party. last night he was asked about desantis running against him for president. on the night before an important

election, his fellow republican, uncle scam, says if he did run, i'll tell you things about him that won't be very flattering, i know more about him than anybody other than perhaps his wife, who is really running his campaign. [ laughter ] god, did donald trump have sex with stormy desantis too? [ laughter ] what does he know? [ applause ] matt gaetz easily won his seat in florida. he was re-elected. florida is a state in which being an alleged sex offender makes you an experienced public servant. [ laughter ] it's not necessarily drowned on. matt is going to wait to celebrate until prom night, which is sweet. [ laughter ] we had interesting names on the ball hot in l.a. going through my ballot yesterday, one of the judges running for state supreme court is josh groban. joshua p. groban. what a talented guy, he's a judge too? [ laughter ] the best name is a farmer from

illinois who wholeheartedly endorsed a woman running for state comptroller there. >> i'm susannah mendoza. i've worked hard to help people and fix our state's finances to get illinois ready for its growth spirit. >> she delivers big. >> she's a firecracker. [ laughter ] >> jmmy: okay, that right there -- [ applause ] that's dick bigger, jr. so are calling him the breakout star of 2022. by some i mean me. [ laughter ] needless to say, i was eager to meet mr. bigger. we tracked him down. ladies and gentlemen, sitting in your midst, please say hello to dick bigger jr. [ cheers and applause ] hi, dick! welcome. thank you for coming. not only -- i learned this about you today. not only is your name dick bigger, you're from bigsville, illinois. you're bursting at the seams with bigness. [ laughter ] does comptroller, susannah mendoza, know you're here?

>> yes. >> jimmy: this is your fiancee wendy? >> hi. >> jimmy: how long have you been together? 30 years. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: oh, that's -- wait. is the name thing why it's taking so long to tie the knot? [ laughter ] >> maybe. >> jimmy: has anyone, like at hims, approached you about doing an erectile dysfunction commercial? >> no, no. >> jimmy: as a farmer does daylight saving time matter to you at all? we should get rid of it, right? >> get rid of it, i agree with you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: let me tell you something. you should run for president. i don't know anyone at all who wouldn't vote for a president dick bigger jr. [ cheers and applause ] >> sure. >> jimmy: by the way, dick, i want you to know, i hope i'm not embarrassing you, the young lady to your right is laura, one of our producers.

laura got locked out of her abc email account because she sent so many messages that said "dick bigger." the spam filter caught her. [ laughter and applause ] we're glad you're here. think about that president thing, i'd love to run the campaign. [ laughter ] thank you, dick and wendy are here. [ cheers and applause ] republicans have been doing everything they can to convince their voters that, "a," the election is a fraud, "b," please vote in it. even before the polls opened they were priming the pump to claim they were being cheated if things don't go their way. they encouraged voters to flood the polls at the last minute so democrats don't have time to rig the machines. so nutty. by the way, if democrats are capable of rigging the election in republican states not just once but two times in a row, if they're smart enough and organized enough to do that, wouldn't you want them to be in charge? they must be very capable people. [ cheers and applause ] and you know, people we need to thank as a nation are these

election workers. thousands of volunteers gave their time to make sure our elections ran smoothly and fairly today. in spite of all the ugliness that they faced [ cheers and applause ] there's ugly faces out there. walking around in their g.i. joe costumes and kevlar vests. this is mesa, arizona. a brave ballot box warrior who earned his uniform at a spirit hall bean store. [ laughter ] he's part of stop the steal team 6. [ laughter ] it's natural to focus on the people running but there are important bills and propositions, everything from abortion to recreational marijuana. they don't get as much attention as the candidates. so we decided to create a bit of election fraud of our own. we went on the street, we asked pedestrians how they voted on a bunch of issues we made up. they're completely made up. [ laughter ] let's see what they say about them in tonight's midterm exit poll edition of "lie witness news."

>> everyone on the left and the right is voting in support of prop 134, the commonsense prop. look in there and say "i support prop 134." >> i support prop 134. >> jimmy: of course, to legalize human trafficking. why do you support that? >> why do i support -- human trafficking? is that what you say? man. well. i don't support it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you said you did. >> oh, man. well. i support prop 134. >> californians agree, yes on 134. yes on human trafficking. >> j >> how did you vot on the air bud bill that would make it illegal for a dog to play in a basketball game? >> i noted no. >> why? >> free country, the dog can do anything, i like that. >> just have to make sure t dog like that. >> just have to make sure that you're a person, not a robot. if you could just -- [ laughter ] okay, you needed this and that,

sorry. come back in 15 minutes and try it again. [ laughter ] look in there and say "no on prop 3." >> i could. i'm not just going to randomly endorse a prop that i don't -- yeah. >> just look in there, "yes on prop 3." >> nope. can't do that. are we -- that's not what i'm looking for. this isn't that interesting. >> what are you looking for? >> i don't know, i didn't know what you were going to be doing. >> we're doing a pro and no on prop 3. >> okay. no comment. >> could you look in there, "no comment on prop 3"? >> why? why are you so intent on me looking in there and saying something on a proposition? i'm not going to do that. >> could you say "i'm not interested in prop 3"? [ laughter ] >> no. are we done? or do you have a are we done? or do you have another question other than the prop 3 thing? >> yes. how about "are we done with prop 3?" [ laughter ] the late-night comedy accountability account would make sure late-night shows don't trick or prank any unsuspecting californians.

>> yeah, i'd definitely vote for that. as we've seen, in recent news, i think you need to be very careful with the pranks or specific words you use to people who do not want to be targeted as for such media. >> you never know who you're talking to. >> exactly. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know, when you look at all the things that are happening in this country right now, it's hard to be optimistic. but tonight we're going to try, we're going to do it with help from the silver lining singers. [ cheers and applause ] hello, singers. are you ready for this? all right, bad news. the price of turkey is up 32%, which means a 20-pound bird is going to cost around $65 this thanksgiving.

♪ well, everybody loves soup ♪ ♪ minestrone french onion chicken noodle clam chowder tortilla tomato bisque and vegetable with ham just pick up a spoon and eat it straight from the can ♪ ♪ that means no washing dishes bitches ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: okay, all right. how about this, seven-time super bowl champion tom brady and his supermodel wife gisele, after 13 years of marriage, have filed for divorce. ♪ after 13 years divorce is crazy ♪ ♪ but now we have a chance to take tom brady ♪ ♪ those clear blue eyes and that dimpled chin ♪ e davi♪isele will go and hook up

mmm-mmm! [ cheers and alae ] >> jimmy: women's reproductive rights are under attack. 13 states have banned abortion with a dozen more on the horizon. ♪ more unwanted children the supreme court is to blame ♪ ♪ we hope they always have a screaming baby on their plane ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: while we're on that subject, despite pretending to be a pro-life candidate who it turns out has a number of children he didn't raise and plenty of evidence that he paid for two abortions, herschel walker still has a very good chance to be the new u.s. senator from georgia. ♪ well if you want to have a kid with a guy that's really dumb ♪ ♪ well just say hello to herschel he'll embrace anyone ♪ ♪ you get a baby you get a baby

you get a baby we all get a herschel baby ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: speaking of babies, kanye west continues his attack on the jewish people. it's going to be hard to find a silver lining in that. >> i mean -- ♪ kanye shouting lies about jews ♪ >> jimmy: yeah? [ laughter ] ♪ at least nobody's buying his ugly ass shoes ♪ ♪ ugly ass shoes ugly ass shoes ♪ ♪ no one buying his ugly ass shoes ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ go buy yourself some skechers bitches ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. thank you, the silver lining singers, everybody! we have a good show tonight. a live show.

george conway is here, breland is here. we'll be right back with bill maher! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there. we're back tonight. this guy to me is one of the most interesting people in the world p he is very anti-donald trump even though his wife is none other than kellyanne. george conway is with us tonight. [ applause ] then later he's nominated for and presenting at the cmas tomorrow night. his album is called "cross-country." breland from the mercedes eq stage. tomorrow night on our show we are back with jason momoa and

luke grimes with music from lanie wilson. our first guest tonight is an astute and very funny man. you can see his show, "real time with bill maher," friday nights on hbo. you can see him live this saturday at the new york comedy festival and on sunday at foxwoods in connecticut. please welcome bill maher. [ cheers and applause ] it's especially great to have you here tonight. thank you for coming. >> and it's live. >> jimmy: and it's live. >> you booked me on a live night. what a mistake. [ applause ] oh, you're going to regret this one, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: if anyone can handle it, it's you. >> bad idea. >> jimmy: what would you be doing if you weren't here tonight? would you be sweating it out? >> i'd be working on friday's

show. which i'm going to do when i get home. that's right. because i owe it all to the people. that's what i do. [ applause ] it's all i care about. it's all i think about. and i'd be watching the election returns because that's kind of fun. but you know, the returns -- you know, we don't have this kind of system now where the returns come in on the night of. >> jimmy: yeah. it's strange, right? >> well, i was reading about brazil. very similar. they had a guy, bolsonaro, who was very similar to trump, saying you know, it's rigged and -- whatever brazilian, however that would sound in portuguese. >> jimmy: how do you say it's rigged in portuguese? he doesn't speak -- >> guillermo: no, i only speak spanish. sorry. >> jimmy: you look great, though. >> guillermo: thank you, jimmy. [ laughter ] i'm going to give it to you for saturday. >> i just want to lick that suit. i don't know why. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is very lickable. >> but the election was over in

three hours. they had all the votes counted. >> jimmy: why is that? why can't we figure that out? we figured so many other things out. >> i'm sure the people of brazil are brilliant, wonderful people. they all have a great ass. i know that. [ laughter ] it's a little depressing, getting our ass kicked by brazil. we can't figure out things that other people seem to have figured out. >> jimmy: and we don't have the patience. and we're also so crazy that we assume something is afoot if we don't get the results immediately. ? we should make election day a national holiday. >> jimmy: i agree. [ applause ] >> like many other countries do. and then you know, because i think when the voting goes on for weeks and months, whatever it's going to do, even if it's days, it just sows doubt into people because we don't trust epa othe each other anymore. we're at each other's throats. we're in this cold civil war kind of -- >> jimmy: we are, yeah. >> so that would be a sensible

solution. but why even go down that road? >> jimmy: you seem very pessimistic. i was interested to hear you. you're talking to your viewers, and you said make sure to vote but if you're watching this you're probably going to vote already, and everybody's minds are made up and what's going to happen has happened and we should say good-bye to democracy. and that seemed -- you know, that's scary to hear anyone say that. >> you see that as pessimistic? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe it's just realistic. i don't know. >> it is realistic unfortunately, yeah. i mean, there's going to be i think almost 300 election deniers on the ballot, people who don't believe in -- i mean, trump has not conceded the last election. >> jimmy: it's crazy. he'll get to it. he's very busy. [ laughter ] >> so, you know, the people who don't believe in elections are now going to be elected. >> jimmy: isn't it crazy?

i mean, if we did this in football, like if we just decided like the home team gets their own referes and if we don't like the score at the end or we don't -- we just decided yeah, our touchdowns are going to be worth six points and jurz are going to be worth two, the whole country would go crazy. they'd say no, no, no, there have to be rules, that's it. >> and there are people like josh hawley of missouri. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> handsome kind of jfk with a dash of kkk. [ laughter ] he says i'm just asking questions. yeah, questions like why does the guy with the most votes always have to win? you know, just questions that anyone would ask about an election. >> jimmy: does it bother you when fox news -- i've noticed sometimes they will take something you said and they will excerpt that and then they will say look, even bill maher, liberal bill maher agrees with us and says this. >> it doesn't bother me at all but it amuses me because a lot of times i make fun of fox news

itself. not just the point of view they're espousing but they themselves. they never show that. they never show the part of my show where i'm saying something that would go against their point of view. y but look, honestly that happens on the left too. we're all in our silos now. >> jimmy: that's true. >> that's part of the problem. and one of the reasons why the democrats are getting their ass kicked tonight is quite frankly, and this is the kind of stuff they show on fox news, is because i'm willing to say where the left has gone crazy, and the left has gone crazy in a lot of places. >> jimmy: yeah. and also they'll take things that are not that important and put them in the same basket as things that are very, very important. >> but important to whom? >> jimmy: well, important -- >> i always say my two biggest issues are democracy now and the environment. but i don't have kids. you know? and -- well, first of all, kids, i thought abortion was going to be the big issue. >> jimmy: isn't it something that it turns out that people --

it did not necessarily motivate everyone to get out and vote? >> it doesn't surprise me. i think i know why. >> jimmy: why? >> people hate kids. [ laughter ] i'm way ahead on this issue. i mean, they're obnoxious. they're feral. they're raised wrong. they're brats. they're entitled. no one wants them around. >> jimmy: have you been peering in the windows at my house? >> exactly. >> jimmy: bill maher is here. he's got "real time" and his podcast. listen to that. we'll be right back. >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by chromebook. get the ultimate c as someone living with type 2 diabetes, i want to keep it real and talk about some risks. with type 2 diabetes you have up to 4 times greater risk of stroke, heart attack, or death. even at your a1c goal, you're still at risk ...which if ignored could bring you here... ...may put you in one of those... ...or even worse.

too much? that's the point. get real about your risks and do something about it. talk to your health care provider about ways to lower your risk of stroke, heart attack, or death. learn more at getrealaboutdiabetes.com ♪ music (“i swear”) plays ♪ jaycee tried gain flings for the first time the other day... and forgot where she was. [buzz] you can always spot a first timer. gain flings with oxi boost and febreze. ♪♪ whenever heartburn strikes get fast relief with tums. it's time to love food back. ♪ tum tum tum tum tums ♪

okay care coalition, alaska airlines is still frontrunner for most caring airline. funshine bear, you did some of your own research, right? i sure did. ♪ according to the web, their program's number one, ♪ ♪ earning alaska miles is quicker and more fun! ♪ cute! ooh, that was wonderful, sweetie! oh, oh, oh, i have a song about their cheese plates. ♪ cheese please! cheese please! cheese please! cheese please! ♪ uh- it's time for lunch. aw...

♪ ♪

if you run a small business, you need the most from every investment. that's why comcast business gives you more. more innovation... with our new gig-speed wi-fi, plus unlimited data. more speed... from the largest, fastest, reliable network... and more savings- up to 60% a year with comcast business mobile. all from the company that powers more businesses than any other provider. get started with fast speeds and advanced security for $49.99 a month for 12 months. plus ask how to get up to a $750 prepaid card with a qualifying bundle.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. we are live on election night with bill maher, host of "real time," host of the "club random" podcast. i had fun with you on the club random podcast. >> i loved it. isn't it great being high and doing what we do? [ laughter ] really. people are pessimistic, it is true. i don't blame them. and i am too about the future. but don't forget that sometimes things look like they're so bleak and then they can turn around. i mean, i remember it was not that long ago, we talked about it on this show, when i was like so paranoid about traveling with pot that i would put it in a little piece of kleenex and under my nuts to go through -- [ laughter ] and now i can smoke freely --

>> jimmy: do you ever miss -- [ cheers and applause ] could you ever miss the essence, though, when you take off your clothes at night, just kind of breathing that? [ laughter ] >> no. i don't miss any of that. i mean, i'm just saying, you know, gay marriage failed on the ballot 35 times in states. and then three years later it was the law of the land. things can turn around. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. abortion. for so many years abortion was legal. and then it became legal and now it's not legal again. sometimes things go back the other way too. >> it's back to kids. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're familiar with the my pillow man, mike lindell? >> well, i know who he is. and of course i've done crack. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: well, it's good that you have something in common with him. because today -- tonight, actually, not long ago, he went on his -- he's got some -- he calls it tv channel but it's really just him on a web cam. and he has this message for you.

>> i'm going to put a shout out here in prime time here. i know kid rock was on his show. he said he would have me on his show. bill maher, i'm putting out in front of the whole world here, i would love to come on your show. you said you wanted me on your show. i would love to come on to your show and talk about whatever you want about these election. any conspiracy theories or anything you want. >> jimmy: what do you think? >> uh. dream on, nutcase. [ applause ] first of all. first of all, kid rock was on the podcast. >> jimmy: yes. >> kid rock would not be on my show. my real show, my real job, my real life is "real time with bill maher." >> jimmy: he won't go on it. >> on hbo. >> jimmy: why won't he go on your show? >> who? >> jimmy: kid rock. >> well, i guess we could have kid rock on. that's one reason i started the podcast, is because you know,

it's just a place for people who are just let's say not political. >> jimmy: right. >> even though kid rock thinks of himself as very political. i mean, look, i'll talk to anybody. i like kid rock a lot. and we have nothing in common politically. but you know, that's the answer to america's problems. we have to talk to people we don't agree with. >> jimmy: but you just told my pillow mike lindell that he can't come on the show. >> he can't come on "real time" because he's a moron. [ laughter ] [ applause ] he can come on the podcast. >> jimmy: oh, great. >> and what he's referring to is kid rock came and he brought a life-size cardboard cutout of mike lindell as a gift. i don't know -- you know -- >> jimmy: was he in the h.o.v. lane or something? [ laughter ] >> i don't know. he drives this around -- i don't know. but yes, i mean, look, you have to talk to everybody. i've said it a million times. you can hate trump.

you can't hate everybody who likes him. it's half the country. >> jimmy: you have kellyanne conway on your show fairly regularly. her husband george is here tonight. >> yes. >> jimmy: she's a smart person. >> very smart. yes. in the service of evil often. [ applause ] i introduced kellyanne to the public. he should was on "plu"political incorrect." >> jimmy: yeah, thanks for that. [ laughter ] >> that's where a lot of people got to know her. >> jimmy: in a lot of ways she seems to be, and i agree with you as far as the evil thing goes, but she seems to be the only competent person who ever kind of came out of that world. >> very competet. he should have made her the campaign manager and a few other things. but you know, i don't know. but look, i think conservatives, if there's any watching this show, i think they're put off by the idea -- i mean, part of the way we're talking tonight. like oh, liberals. they talk like this country would be perfect if only the

stupid people would stop acting so stupid. while they're doing stupid things. i mean, i walked into your show tonight and everyone's wearing masks and i was like, seriously? could you take the mask off? >> jimmy: that's just left over from halloween. [ laughter ] >> no, no. and your assistant said you don't have to. right. because germs don't attack celebrities. >> jimmy: no. the reason we wear masks. you want to know the real reason? is because it's part of the union contract they negotiated. >> okay. but why don't i have to? she said i don't have to. but the staff does? >> jimmy: no. i changed my mind. you have to. [ laughter ] you know, what we're going to give you, the sticker suit. no one has ever gotten covid in a sticker suit. we know that for a fact. right, guillermo? >> guillermo: yes, jimmy. yes. >> and it's lickable. >> jimmy: bill, i cannot thank you enough for being here. >> always a pleasure. >> jimmy: i appreciate it greatly. "real time with bill maher" friday nights on hbo.

club random his podcast. and you can go see bill live at the hulu theater at the new york comedy festival on saturday and sunday at foxwoods in connecticut. bill maher, everybody. we'll be back with george conway. [ cheers and applause ] this book has helped me reach so many young homeowners who have become their parents. hey, what's the lowest you'll go on one of these mugs? ah, remember -- no haggling in stores. oh, yeah, chapter six, yep. they may have read the book, but they still have a long way to go. was hoping to get your john hancock on there. well, let's just call it a signature. i noticed there weren't any refreshments, so i'm just gonna leave a couple of snackies. folks, the line's in shambles, let's tuck it in. -sir? -come on, come on. okay. all right. progressive can't protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. okay, we don't need a line monitor. when moderate to severe ulcerative colitis persists... put it in check with rinvoq, a once-daily pill. when uc got unpredictable,... i got rapid symptom relief with rinvoq. check. when uc held me back... i got lasting, steroid-free remission with rinvoq. check.

and when uc got the upper hand... rinvoq helped visibly repair the colon lining. check. rapid symptom relief. lasting, steroid-free remission. and a chance to visibly repair the colon lining. check. check. and check. rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tb. serious infections and blood clots, some fatal; cancers, including lymphoma and skin cancer; death, heart attack, stroke, and tears in the stomach or intestines occurred. people 50 and older... with at least 1 heart disease risk factor have higher risks. don't take if allergic to rinvoq... as serious reactions can occur. tell your doctor if you are or may become pregnant. put uc in check and keep it there, with rinvoq. ask your gastroenterologist about rinvoq. and learn how abbvie could help you save. ♪ cheerful holiday music ♪

♪ ♪ ♪biggest, biggest, biggest♪ ♪this is the biggest bounce of the summer♪ ♪ay, ay, ay, ay, if you coming in,♪ ♪come, don't play play♪ [camera clicks] ♪if you feel too shy then watch pon me,♪ ♪watch pon me, watch, watch pon me♪ ♪shake your♪ ♪this the biggest bounce of the summer♪ ♪if you ain't coming that's a bummer♪ ♪freeze♪ ♪watch pon me♪ [car zooms] ♪ ♪bounce oi oi, biggest, oi oi, biggest oi oi, biggest♪ ♪this is the biggest bounce of the summer♪ we make sit-down chicken... ...stand-up chicken... backyard chicken... ...oops chicken... ...lots-a-time chicken... ...no-time chicken. if there's one thing we know, it's chicken, chicken and chicken. more choices. more wow. more to love. tyson. “solsbury hill” by peter gabriel

hello, little one. welcome to the “great unknown.” not the “ok unknown.” or the “underwhelming unknown.” it's the “great unknown” for a reason. it's a world of endless possibilities and adventures you can't even imagine. toyota. let's go places. how do i do it all?

with a little help. and to support my family's immune health, i choose airborne. unlike some others, airborne gives you vitamin c and so much more. it's an 8 in 1 immune support formula. airborne. do more.

>> lou: tomorrow on "jimmy kimmel live" -- jason momoa, luke grimes, and music from lainey wilson.

that's tomorrow on "jimmy kimmel live." have you seen my new phone yet? it like, folds in half. i would never switch to samsung, i love my phone. what??? ♪♪ (...it folds in half.) you see i love my phone. i would never switch to samsuuu... (gasping) ♪♪ at chewy, you can save on all the gifts you need for the gifts that keep on giving. because while they have no idea what's going on here... -hi. -...a little something of their own will get them in the spirit. great prices. happy pets. chewy. there's a different way to treat hiv. it's every-other-month, injectable cabenuva. for adults who are undetectable, cabenuva is the only complete, long-acting hiv treatment you can get every other month.

cabenuva helps keep me undetectable. it's two injections, given by my healthcare provider, every other month. it's one less thing to think about while traveling. hiv pills aren't on my mind. a quick change in my plans is no big deal. don't receive cabenuva if you're allergic to its ingredients or taking certain medicines, which may interact with cabenuva. serious side effects include allergic reactions post-injection reactions, liver problems, and depression. if you have a rash and other allergic reaction symptoms, stop cabenuva and get medical help right away. tell your doctor if you have liver problems or mental health concerns, and if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or considering pregnancy. some of the most common side effects include injection-site reactions, fever, and tiredness. if you switch to cabenuva, attend all treatment appointments. every other month, and i'm good to go. ask your doctor about every-other-month cabenuva. for your most brilliant smile, crest has you covered. “nice smile, brad.” “nice!” “thanks?”

crest 3d white. 100% more stain removal. crest. the #1 toothpaste brand in america. can you live with knowing you never tasted mcrib sauce? you have until november 20th to decide. during the mcrib farewell tour. ♪ ba da ba ba ba ♪ ok, this audition better be worth the cost of the ink taped up behind us. we have the canon g series with megatank. that means megasavings. this laptop camera doesn't cut it. i'm so nervous your teeth are chattering. just set up your eos webcam utility software with your eos camera. alright fine, this better work. okay, yeah you're smarter than i look. for once i have your back. [laughs] stop it.

less drama, more harmony, with canon. ♪music playing♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ nothing brings the pack together like a trip to great wolf lodge. now open in northern california.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. we are live on election night. music from breland is on the way. our next guest is an attorney who's argued before the united states supreme court, a contributing columnist to the "washington post," a relentless critic of donald trump, and probably the most awkward plus one in white house christmas party history. [ laughter ] please say hello to george conway. [ cheers and applause ] george, thank you for being here. i think i've expressed this to you through direct message, but to me you and your wife kellyanne, this is the most interesting thing, relationship certainly, to come out of this crazy trump story that we've all born witness to. >> uh-huh. [ laughter ] yes. okay.

i can see that. >> jimmy: yeah. well, let's start from the beginning, shall we? you -- who knew donald trump first, you or kellyanne? >> i think i did. but not really that well. because what happened was i had bought an apartment at the trump world tower, which is this big thing at the end, right across from the united nations that has 90 floors but because it's trump it's really only 72. [ laughter ] [ applause ] which is fine, though, because i bought one on 84, which is only like the 64 65th floor. >> jimmy: so you got value out of it. sure. >> and there were some people who wanted to throw the trump management company off the board. and so -- and the trump people had sold a certain number of condos. that meant that they didn't really have control over the condo voting. and a bunch of us led an opposition to that because if

they took the trump name off that was when it was actually worth something, if they took the trump name off we would have lost money. now it's like take the trump name -- >> jimmy: yeah. people are demanding it come off. >> so we won. and the next day i get this phone call in my office and my secretary peers in and says "donald trump is on the line." i say oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, donald trump. and i answer the phone and donald trump says "you were great. you have an amazing speaking voice. what kind of law do you practice? really amazing. terrific. great thing you did." and that's -- then they asked me to go onto the board, to the condo board. and i thought about it for about 30 seconds. maybe five seconds. like i don't want to be in a fricking elevator and have people complaining about the water and this and that and all that stuff. and i said no. but then dumbass me i come home and say they wanted me to be on

the board. my wife says oh, yeah, you've got to do it, you've got to do it. i don't really want to do it. i donate want to deal with these people in the elevator complaining about stuff. and she goes, i'll do it. >> jimmy: and that's where the trouble started. >> that was the beginning of the end -- the story. >> jimmy: i've heard you say that on election night you were very -- you were overcome with emotion when trump won. >> of course i was. my wife, she's a political consultant. she always wanted to do a major political campaign -- major presidential campaign. it was the pinnacle of her career. and this guy was done before she joined the campaign. and she turned it around. they got him to read the teleprompter. they got him to act like almost a normal human being for eight weeks. [ laughter ] and that was enough for people who said i don't want to vote for hillary. >> jimmy: so she's working, kellyanne's working for donald. when do you start now attacking him on twitter? [ laughter ] >> it took a while.

>> jimmy: a while. how many months? >> it took probably a year and a half. although there was one early tweet where he just said something so fricking insane that i just sort of tweeted something out and then all of a sudden i got 50 phone calls and the press was calling and i kind of tamped it down and i kept my mouth shut for a while. >> jimmy: what was it like that first time when you tweeted something and then kellyanne came home from work? [ laughter ] >> well, actually, at the time i was still in new jersey because we have four kids. >> jimmy: good move. >> yes. i should have stayed there. and we have four kids up in new jersey and she was down there by herself in an apartment in washington. this is spring of 2017. and immediately i'm just getting calls from her, what did you do, what did you do? turned out he wasn't all that mad about it. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. trump tweeted, referring to you, he said -- >> loser? >> jimmy: a stone cold loser and husband from hell. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this by the way is a guy who had sex with a porn star while his wife was pregnant.

so for him to call you the husband from hell, that was meaningful. >> yeah. you made that point very well when eric trump went after me like that. >> jimmy: oh, that's right. >> you said oh, wait till he hears what daddy and uncle stormy did, you know. >> jimmy: uncle stormy. is stormy daniels a man? holy moly. that would have been a hell of a revelation. >> times are very confusing. right? i me my. >> jimmy: as a lifelong republican, lifelong conservative it must be strange for you now to be somebody that liberals accept and enjoy the tweets and get some kind of -- >> well, some liberals. a lot of liberals just say you're playing both sides, you're doing this for money, you're doing this for -- to hedge your bets. and i don't understand where they get that from. because if you paid attention to what i've been saying pretty consistently now for about four years, i mean, there's no error

in it. i think the guy's a menace to the world. i think he's a menace to society. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you think as a lawyer and as somebody who's followed this very closely, do you think he will ever get punished for being this menace to the world and menace to society? will he ever do any time? >> you know, i think -- well, i think he's going to be charged. i think he's going to be convicted, particularly -- >> jimmy: with which of the many things? >> well, you know, it the like -- >> jimmy: which is the biggest one? >> it's so hard. eenie mieny miney moe. it's so hard. i think the documents case is the one that's going to kill him. >> jimmy: that's the one? >> yeah. the stolen documents case. and it's like -- you know, it's like, say, you're the united states attorney of the southern district of new york and you're investigating the five families and you're trying to put together this massive rico case with all these -- you know -- you have the chart and you get this call from the nypd saying hey, you know, the head of the five families, we just got him,

he's loading -- he was loading jewelry off a -- onto a truck at kennedy airport. we've got him dead to rights. i mean, you know, he's got the documents. the documents didn't belong to him. he lied about them. he got his lawyers to lie about them. he defied a subpoena. and he did it for a year and a half. i mean, it's just -- the only thing that could make it worse is if he fedexed some of them to putin. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, that could be possible. >> you never know. >> jimmy: why do you think he is announcing that he said he's going to -- he hinted strongly that he will announce he's going to run on tuesday. is that to avoid some kind of prosecution? >> well, i think it's going to be so he can say a-ha, they're indicting me because i'm running. and you know -- i think he would have run anyway because i don't think he can help himself. he's a narcissistic sociopath. you laugh. [ applause ] buy the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders and you will see.

you did this. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. that's right. >> you did it for narcissistic personality disorder and you checked all nine boxes. and you could do it for anti-social personality disorder, which is sociopathy. the man has no moral conscience. he lies like we breathe. he absolutely shows no remorse about anything. and he violates laws and norms with reckless impunity. and he's completely impulsive. that's another one of the -- you only need three of those to be a winner. >> jimmy: oh, boy. i mean, we all have the uncomfortable thanksgiving dinner. you have that all the time. well, it's great to meet you in person. george conway. you can see george's columns in the "washington post." [ cheers and applause ] thank you, george. we'll be back with breland. ♪ >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by the s class from mercedes-benz.

i'm karen. i'm living with hiv and i'm on cabenuva. for adults who are undetectable, cabenuva is the only complete, long-acting hiv treatment you can get every other month. it's two injections from a healthcare provider. i really like the flexibility. and for me, it's one less thing to think about while traveling. don't receive cabenuva if you're allergic to its ingredients or if you taking certain medicines, which may interact with cabenuva. serious side effects include allergic reactions post-injection reactions, liver problems, and depression. if you have a rash and other allergic reaction symptoms, stop cabenuva and get medical help right away. tell your doctor if you have liver problems or mental health concerns, and if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or considering pregnancy. some of the most common side effects include injection-site reactions, fever, and tiredness.

if you switch to cabenuva, attend all treatment appointments. ready to treat your hiv in a different way? ask your doctor about every-other-month cabenuva. with every-other-month cabenuva, i'm good to go. >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes eq. all electric, all mercedes. >> jimmy: thanks to bill maher

and george conway. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next. but first, his album "cross-country" is out now. here with the song "for what it's worth," breland! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ bad habits, my second chances always turn into three and four ♪ ♪ late nights, all them back and forth fights finally turn into heartbreak war ♪ ♪ i admit that i was immature and i was insecure ♪ ♪ i took advantage for granted having my hand in yours ♪ ♪ i don't know if i should say this but i can't make it worse ♪ ♪ baby, you can take this ♪ ♪ for what it's worth ♪ ♪ i hope that you're happy now and that you found what you didn't in me ♪ ♪ for what it's worth ♪ ♪ i'd trade everything i have for what i had, i know that talk is cheap ♪ ♪ for what it's worth ♪ ♪ i done did some growing up, i ain't out there getting drunk

snoes ♪ i can be what you deserve ♪ ♪ 'cause now i see your heart, your mind, your every curve ♪ ♪ and your love for what it's worth ♪ ♪ god honest, i never wanted to be a memory that you wish you never made ♪ ♪ wish you never left, you were right i guess when you said we were better off this way ♪ ♪ 'cause now you got me looking in the mirror and not just in the rear ♪ ♪ i know that i can't make this right but let me be make it clear ♪ ♪ that there's nothing you could say that i ain't already heard ♪ ♪ baby you could take this ♪ ♪ for what it's worth ♪ ♪ i hope that you're happy now and that you found what you didn't in me ♪ ♪ for what it's worth ♪ ♪ i'd trade everything i have for what i had, i know that talk is cheap ♪ ♪ for what it's worth ♪ ♪ i done did some growing up ♪ ♪ i ain't out there getting drunk ♪ ♪ i can be what you deserve ♪

♪ 'cause now i see your heart, your mind, your every curve ♪ ♪ and your love for what it's worth ♪ ♪ ♪ for what it's worth ♪ ♪ i hope that you're happy now and that you found what you didn't in me ♪ ♪ for what it's worth ♪ ♪ i'd trade everything i have for what i had, i know that talk is cheap ♪ ♪ for what it's worth ♪ ♪ i done did some growing up ♪ ♪ i ain't out there getting drunk ♪ ♪ i can be what you deserve ♪ ♪ 'cause now i see your heart, your mind, you are every curve ♪ ♪ and your love for what it's worth ♪ ♪ oh ♪ ♪ for what it's worth ♪

♪ for what it's worth ♪ [ cheers and applause ] tonight, millions of americans casting their votes. the issues that mattered. inflation. abears. crime. the results from the battlegrounds. >> i will never forget the great people of ohio. thank you for this honor to serve you. i'll fight for you every day. >> we bet on the people of pennsylvania, and you didn't let us down. >> plus what's at stake. the balance of power. who will control congress? and the historic firsts. this is a special edition of "nightline," "your voice, your vote: election