>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! and the multiverse of midterm madness! tonight, bill maher, george conway, and music from breland. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. gracias. cleto. very nice. hello, my fellow americans. i'm jimmy. thank you for joining us for election night. our award-winning coverage starts now. we are live from our

headquarters in hollywood. not only are we live, our audience tonight, this is exciting, our studio audience is made up entirely of herschel walker's children. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and a good-looking group. wait till he meets you guys. daddy's going to love you. that senate race in georgia is one we're watching closely. we'll have a ticker on the screen so you don't have to go to msnbc or any of that stuff. at midnight we also saw what scientists say will be the last lunar eclipse until 2025. a blood moon. and i don't know much about the ancient mayans, but pretty sure a blood moon on election night means everything's totally fine, right? [ laughter ] right, guillermo? >> guillermo: right, jimmy, yes. >> jimmy: oh, wow, look at that. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: the very latest in election fashion.

a suit made out of stickers. what do the stickers say? >> guillermo: i voted. >> jimmy: i voted, that's right. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo had to vote 900 times today to make that suit. [ laughter ] you're going to jail but you look great. >> guillermo: thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: a lot of people posted photos with their "i voted" stickers. every state has a different design. beto o'rourke, running for governor in texas, has an "i voted" sticker with a cactus on it. former first lady malaria trump -- [ laughter ] a sticker with her husband donald. dr. oz is running for a seat in pennsylvania. he voted in his home state of new jersey. [ laughter ] president biden's sticker is actually a pin that says "win with taft." [ laughter ] probably an old suit. [ applause ] eric trump, i don't know if he voted. [ laughter ] "i was a brave boy at the dentist."

why his teeth look so great. republicans were expecting a big night, expecting to win control of the house. you know, last time republicans took control of the house, they were hitting police with flagpoles and pooping in it. traditionally the midterm elections go to whichever party doesn't have the white house. it's only gone the other way in the house twice since 1946. but donald trump has a different way of looking at it. when it's all said and done, here's how donald trump thinks credit should be assigned when it comes to candidates he endorsed. >> if they win, i should get all the credit. if they lose, i should not be blamed at all, okay? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he'd be a great football coach. you know? [ laughter ] i think it was vince lombardi who said, "boys, if we win, i should get all the credit, if we lose, that's on you, i shouldn't be blamed at all." [ laughter ] trump's budding nemesis governor ron desantis won his race in florida bigly tonight. this is how much trump cares about his party. last night he was asked about desantis running against him for president. on the night before an important

election, his fellow republican, uncle scam, says if he did run, i'll tell you things about him that won't be very flattering, i know more about him than anybody other than perhaps his wife, who is really running his campaign. [ laughter ] god, did donald trump have sex with stormy desantis too? [ laughter ] what does he know? [ applause ] matt gaetz easily won his seat in florida. he was re-elected. florida is a state in which being an alleged sex offender makes you an experienced public servant. [ laughter ] it's not necessarily drowned on. matt is going to wait to celebrate until prom night, which is sweet. [ laughter ] we had interesting names on the ball hot in l.a. going through my ballot yesterday, one of the judges running for state supreme court is josh groban. joshua p. groban. what a talented guy, he's a judge too? [ laughter ] the best name is a farmer from illinois who wholeheartedly

endorsed a woman running for state comptroller there. >> i'm susannah mendoza. i've worked hard to help people and fix our state's finances to get illinois ready for its growth spurt. >> she delivers big. >> she's a firecracker. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, that right there -- [ applause ] that's dick bigger, jr. some are calling him the breakout star of 2022. by some i mean me. [ laughter ] needless to say, i was eager to meet mr. bigger. we tracked him down. ladies and gentlemen, sitting in your midst, please say hello to dick bigger jr. [ cheers and applause ] hi, dick! welcome. thank you for coming. not only -- i learned this about you today. not only is your name dick bigger, you're from biggsville, illinois. you're bursting at the seams with bigness. [ laughter ] does comptroller, susannah mendoza, know you're here? >> yes. >> jimmy: this is your fiancee wendy?

>> hi. >> jimmy: how long have you been together? 30 years. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: oh, that's -- wait. is the name thing why it's taking so long to tie the knot? [ laughter ] >> maybe. >> jimmy: has anyone, like at hims, approached you about doing an erectile dysfunction commercial? >> no, no. >> jimmy: as a farmer does daylight saving time matter to you at all? we should get rid of it, right? >> get rid of it, i agree with you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: let me tell you something. you should run for president. i don't know anyone at all who wouldn't vote for a president dick bigger jr. [ cheers and applause ] >> sure. >> jimmy: by the way, dick, i want you to know, i hope i'm not embarrassing you, the young lady to your right is laura, one of our producers. laura got locked out of her abc

email account because she sent so many messages that said "dick bigger." the spam filter caught her. [ laughter and applause ] we're glad you're here. think about that president thing, i'd love to run the campaign. [ laughter ] thank you, dick and wendy are here. [ cheers and applause ] republicans have been doing everything they can to convince their voters that, "a," the election is a fraud, "b," please vote in it. even before the polls opened they were priming the pump to claim they were being cheated if things don't go their way. they encouraged voters to flood the polls at the last minute so democrats don't have time to rig the machines. so nutty. by the way, if democrats are capable of rigging the election in republican states not just once but two times in a row, if they're smart enough and organized enough to do that, wouldn't you want them to be in charge? they must be very capable people. [ cheers and applause ] and you know, people we need to

thank as a nation are these election workers. thousands of volunteers gave their time to make sure our elections ran smoothly and fairly today. in spite of all the ugliness that they faced. [ cheers and applause ] there's ugly faces out there. walking around in their g.i. joe costumes and kevlar vests. this is mesa, arizona. a brave ballot box warrior who earned his uniform at a spirit halloween store. [ laughter ] he's part of stop the steal team 6. [ laughter ] it's natural to focus on the people running but there are important bills and propositions, everything from abortion to recreational marijuana. they don't get as much attention as the candidates. so we decided to create a bit of election fraud of our own. we went on the street, we asked pedestrians how they voted on a bunch of issues we made up. they're completely made up. [ laughter ] let's see what they say about them in tonight's midterm exit poll edition of "lie witness news."

>> everyone on the left and the right is voting in support of prop 134, the commonsense prop. look in there and say "i support prop 134." >> i support prop 134. >> jimmy: of course, to legalize human trafficking. why do you support that? >> why do i support -- human trafficking? is that what you say? man. well. i don't support it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you said you did. >> oh, man. well. i support prop 134. >> californians agree, yes on 134. yes on human trafficking. >> how did you vot on the air bud bill that would make it illegal for a dog to play in a basketball game? >> i noted no. >> why? >> free country, the dog can do anything, i like that. >> just have to make sure that you're a person, not a robot. if you could just -- [ laughter ] okay, you needed this, sorry. come back in 15 minutes and try it again.

[ laughter ] look in there and say "no on prop 3." >> i could. i'm not just going to randomly endorse a prop that i don't -- yeah. >> just look in there, "yes on prop 3." >> nope. can't do that. are we -- that's not what i'm looking for. this isn't that interesting. >> what are you looking for? >> i don't know, i didn't know what you were going to be doing. >> we're doing a pro and no on prop 3. >> okay. no comment. >> could you look in there, "no comment on prop 3"? >> why? why are you so intent on me looking in there and saying something on a proposition? i'm not going to do that. >> could you say "i'm not interested in prop 3"? [ laughter ] >> no. are we done? or do you have another question other than the prop 3 thing? >> yes. how about "are we done with prop 3?" [ laughter ] the late-night comedy accountability act would make sure late-night shows don't trick or prank any unsuspecting californians. >> yeah, i'd definitely vote for

that. as we've seen, in recent news, i think you need to be very careful with the pranks or specific words you use to people who do not want to be targeted as for such media. >> you never know who you're talking to. >> exactly. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know, when you look at all the things that are happening in this country right now, it's hard to be optimistic. but tonight we're going to try, we're going to do it with help from the silver lining singers. [ cheers and applause ] hello, singers. are you ready for this? all right, bad news. the price of turkey is up 32%, which means a 20-pound bird is going to cost around $65 this thanksgiving. >> well, everybody loves soup!

♪ minestrone french onion chicken noodle clam chowder tortilla tomato bisque and vegetable with ham just pick up a spoon and eat it straight from the can ♪ ♪ that means no washing dishes bitches ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: okay, all right. how about this, seven-time super bowl champion tom brady and his supermodel wife gisele, after 13 years of marriage, have filed for divorce. ♪ after 13 years divorce is crazy ♪ ♪ but now we have a chance to date tom brady ♪ ♪ those clear blue eyes and that dimpled chin ♪ ♪ and gisele will go and hook up with pete davidson ♪ mmm-mmm!

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: women's reproductive rights are under attack. 13 states have banned abortion with a dozen more on the horizon. ♪ more unwanted children the supreme court is to blame ♪ ♪ we hope they always have a screaming baby on their plane ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: while we're on that subject, despite pretending to be a pro-life candidate who it turns out has a number of children he didn't raise and plenty of evidence that he paid for two abortions, herschel walker still has a very good chance to be the new u.s. senator from georgia. ♪ well if you want to have a kid with a guy that's really dumb ♪ ♪ well just say hello to herschel he'll embrace anyone ♪ ♪ you get a baby you get a baby you get a baby we all get a herschel baby ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: speaking of babies, kanye west continues his attack on the jewish people. it's going to be hard to find a silver lining in that. >> i mean -- ♪ kanye shouting lies about jews ♪ >> jimmy: yeah? [ laughter ] ♪ and nobody's buying his ugly ass shoes ♪ ♪ ugly ass shoes ugly ass shoes ♪ ♪ no one buying his ugly ass shoes ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ go buy yourself some skechers bitches ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. thank you, the silver lining singers, everybody! we have a good show tonight. a live show. george conway is here. breland is here. we'll be right back with bill maher!

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or mental health concerns, and if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or considering pregnancy. some of the most common side effects include injection-site reactions, fever, and tiredness. if you switch to cabenuva, attend all treatment appointments. ready to treat your hiv in a different way? ask your doctor about every-other-month cabenuva. with every-other-month cabenuva, i'm good to go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. we're back tonight. this guy to me is one of the most interesting people in the world. he is very anti-donald trump, even though his wife is none other than kellyanne. george conway is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] then later, he's nominated for and presenting at the cmas tomorrow night. his album is called "cross-country." breland from the mercedes eq stage. [ cheers and applause ]

tomorrow night we're back with jason momoa and luke grimes with music from lany wilson, so please join us for. are that. our first guest is an astute and very funny man. you can see his show "realtime with bill maher" friday nights on hbo. you can see him live this saturday at the new york comedy festival and sunday at foxwoods in connecticut. please welcome bill maher! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. it's especially great to have you here tonight, thank you for coming. p>> and it's live. >> and it's live, we're live. >> you booked me on a live night, what a mistake. [ cheers and applause ] oh, you're going to regret this one. >> jimmy: if anyone can handle it, it's you. >> bad idea. >> jimmy: what would you be doing if you weren't here tonight?

would you be sweating it out? >> i'd be working on friday's show. which i'm going to do when i get home. that's right, i owe it all to the people, that's what i do. yep. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i've been watching you. >> that's all i care about, that's all i think about. and i'd be watching the election returns because that's kind of fun. but you know, the returns, you know, we don't have this kind of system now where the returns come in on the night of. >> jimmy: yeah, it's strange, right? >> well, i was reading about brazil. >> jimmy: yeah? >> very similar. they had a guy, bolsonaro, very similar to trump. saying, you know, it's rigged. whatever, brazilian, whatever that would sound in portuguese. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how do you say it's rigged in portuguese? he doesn't speak that. >> guillermo: no, i only speak spanish, sorry. >> jimmy: you look great, though. >> guillermo: thank you, jimmy. [ laughter ] i'm going to give it to you for saturday. >> i just want to lick that suit, i don't know why. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: it is very lickable. >> the election was over in three hours.

they had all the votes counted. >> jimmy: why is that? why can't we figure that out? we figure so many other things out. >> i'm sure the people of brazil pare brilliant, wonderful peopl. they all have a great ass, i know that. [ laughter ] but i -- it's a little depressing. get our ass kicked by brazil. we can't figure out things that other people seem to figure out. >> jimmy: we don't have the patience, we're also so crazy that we assume something is afoot if we don't have -- get results immediately. >> we should make election day a national holiday. >> jimmy: i agree. [ cheers and applause ] >> like many other countries do. and then, you know, because i think when the voting goes on for weeks and months, whatever it's going to do, even if it's days, it just sows doubt because we don't trust each other anymore, we all hate each other, we're at each other's throats, we're in this cold civil war. >> jimmy: we are, yeah. >> that would be a sensible solution. but this is america.

[ laughter ] why even go down that road? >> jimmy: yeah, you were -- you seem very pessimistic. i was interested to hear you, talking to your viewers, you said, make sure to vote, but if you're watching this, you're probably going to vote already, and everybody's minds are made up, and what's going to happen has happened and we should say good-bye to democracy. that seemed -- you know, that's -- that's scary to hear anyone say that. >> you see that as pessimistic? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe it's just realistic, i don't know. >> it is realistic, unfortunately, yeah. i mean, when you -- well, i mean -- there's going to be i think almost 300 election deniers on the ballot, people that don't believe in -- you know, trump has not conceded the last election. >> jimmy: i know. it's crazy. he'll get to it. he's very busy. [ laughter ] >> so -- you know, the people who don't believe in elections are now going to be elected. >> jimmy: isn't it crazy?

if we did this in football, like if we just decided the home team gets their own referees, if we don't like the score, we just decide, yeah, our touchdowns are going to be worth 6 points, yours are going to be worth 2. the whole country would go crazy, no, no, there have to be rules, that's it. >> people like josh hawley of missouri. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> handsome kind of jfk with a dash of kkk. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he says this. "i'm just asking questions." yeah. questions like, why does the guy with the most votes always have to win? you know. just questions. [ laughter ] anyone would ask. >> jimmy: does it bother you when fox news, i've noticed sometimes they will take something you said -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: and excerpt that and say, even bill maher, liberal bill maher, agrees and says this.

>> it doesn't bother me but it amuses me. a lot of times i make fun of fox news itself. not just the point of view their espousing but they themselves. they never show that. they never show the part of my show where i'm saying something that would go against their point of view. but honestly, that happens on the left too. we're all in our silos now. >> jimmy: that is true. >> that's part of the problem. and one of the reasons why the democrats are getting their ass kicked tonight is, quite frankly, and this is what -- the kind of stuff they show on fox news, is because i'm willing to say where the left has gone crazy, and the left has gone crazy in a lot of places. >> and yeah, and also they'll take things that are not that important and put them in the same basket as things that are very, very important. >> but important to whom? >> jimmy: important to -- >> i always say, my two biggest issues are democracy now and the environment. but i don't have kids. you know? well, first of all, kids. i thought abortion was going to be the big issue. >> jimmy: isn't it something that it turns out that people --

it did not necessarily motivate everyone to get out and vote? >> it doesn't surprise me. i think i know why. >> jimmy: why? >> people hate kids. [ laughter ] i've been way ahead on this issue. i mean, they're obnoxious, they're feral, they're raised wrong, they're brats, they're entitled, no one wants them around. >> jimmy: you've been peering in the windows of my house. >> exactly. >> jimmy: bill maher is here. he's got "realtime" and his podcast. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by chromebook. get the ultimate cloud gaming machine disguised as a chromebook. the donovans had a bar-b-que that fed half a town. you know what i heard? they drove cross-country, just to walk their dog. ...apparently,

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. we have eyes on election night with bill maher, host of "realtime," host of the "club random" podcast. i had fun with you. >> i loved it. great being high, doing what we do. [ laughter ] no, really. i mean, people are pessimistic. it is true. i don't blame them, and i am too, about the future. but don't forget that sometimes things look like they're so bleak, then they can turn around. i remember it was not that long ago, we talked about it on this show, when i was so paranoid about traveling with pot that i would put it in a little piece of kleenex and under my nuts. [ laughter ] and now i can smoke freely. >> jimmy: do you ever miss the -- [ cheers and applause ]

do you ever miss the essence, when you take off your clothes at night? [ laughter ] >> no. i don't miss any of that. i mean, i'm just saying, you know. gay marriage failed on the ballot 35 times in states. and then three years later, it was the law of the land. [ cheers and applause ] things can turn around. >> jimmy: that's right. abortion, for so many years abortion was legal, now it's illegal again. sometimes things go back the other way too. >> it's back to kids. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're familiar with the mypillow man, mike lindell? >> i know who he is, and of course i've done crack. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, it's good that you have something in common with him. because today, tonight actually, not long ago, he went on his -- he's got some -- he calls it tv channel, it's just him on a web cam. [ laughter ] he has this message for you. >> i'm going to put a shout-out

here in primetime here. i know kid rock was on his show. he said he would have me on his show. bill maher, i'm putting out in front of the whole world here, i would love to come on your show. you said you wanted me on your show. i would love to come on to your show and talk about whatever you want, about this election, any conspiracy theories, anything you want. >> jimmy: what do you think? >> dream on, nutcase. [ laughter ] [ applause ] first of all -- first of all, kid rock was on the podcast. >> jimmy: yes? >> kid rock would not be on my show, my real show, my real job. my real life, "realtime with bill maher" on hbo. >> jimmy: why won't he go on your show? >> what, who? >> jimmy: kid rock. >> kid rock? i guess we could have kid rock. i don't know. that's one reason i started the podcast. it's just a place for people who

are, let's just say, not political. >> jimmy: right. >> even though kid rock thinks of himself as very political. look, i'll talk to anybody. i like kid rock a lot. we have nothing in common politically. but that's the answer to america's problems. we have to talk to people we don't agree with. >> jimmy: you just told mypillow mike lindell he can't come on the show. >> he can't come on "realtime." because he's a moron. [ laughter and applause ] he can come on the podcast. >> jimmy: oh, great. >> what he's referring to is, kid rock came, he brought a life-sized cardboard cutout of mike lindell. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> as a gift. i don't know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he was in the hov lane or something? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: driving with mike? >> carries this around with him, i don't know. but yes, i mean -- look, you have to talk to everybody. i've said it a million times. you can hate trump, you can't hate everybody who likes him.

it's half the country. >> jimmy: you have kellyanne conway on your show regularly. >> yes. >> jimmy: her husband george is here tonight. >> yes. >> jimmy: she's a smart person. >> very smart, yes. in the service of evil, often. [ laughter ] but smart. no, i mean -- no, we -- i introduced kellyanne to the public. she was on "politically incorrect." >> jimmy: yeah, thanks for that. [ laughter ] >> that's where a lot of people got to know her. >> jimmy: in a lot of ways she seems to be, i agree with you as far as the evil thing goes, but she seems to be the only competent person who ever kind of came out of that world. >> very competent, he should have made her the campaign manager and a few other things. i don't know. but look, i think, you know, conservatives, if there's any watching this show, i think they're put off by the idea, i mean -- part of the way we're talking tonight. like, oh, liberals, they talk like this country would be perfect if only the stupid

people would stop acting so stupid. while they're doing stupid things. i walked into your show tonight. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> everyone's wearing masks. and i was like, seriously? could you take the mask off? >> jimmy: that's just leftover from halloween. [ laughter ] >> no, no. and your assistant said, "you don't have to." right. because germs don't attack celebrities. >> jimmy: no, the reason we wear masks, you want to know the reason? it's part of our union contract that they negotiated. >> okay. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but why don't i have to? i don't have to. but the staff does? >> jimmy: no, i change my mind, you have to. [ laughter ] no, the sticker suit. the sticker suit, no one has ever gotten covid in a sticker suit, we know that for a fact. >> guillermo: yes, jimmy, yes. >> and it's lickable. >> jimmy: i cannot thank you enough for being here. >> always a pleasure. >> jimmy: i appreciate it greatly. "realtime with bill maher" friday nights on hbo. "club random" is the podcast.

and he bill live saturday and sunday in foxwoods in connecticut. bill mature, everybody! be right back with george conway! ♪ ♪ ♪ moderate to severe eczema still disrupts my skin.

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>> lou: next week on "jimmy kimmel live" --

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we are live on election night. music from breland is on the way. our next guest is an attorney who's argued before the united states supreme court, a contributing columnist for "the washington post," a relentless critic of donald trump, and probably the most awkward plus one in white house christmas party history. [ laughter ] please say hello to george conway! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ george, thank you for being here. i think i've expressed this to you through direct message, but to me, you and your wife, kellyanne, this is the most interesting thing, relationship, certainly, to come out of this crazy trump story that we've all borne witness to. >> uh-huh. [ laughter ] all right -- yes, i can see that. >> jimmy: yes, yeah. well, let's start from the

beginning, shall we? who knew donald trump first, you or kellyanne? >> i think i did. but not really that well. >> jimmy: okay. >> what happened was, i had bought an apartment at the trump world tower, which is this big thing at the end -- right across from the united nations that has 90 floors, but because it's trump, it's really only 72. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] which is funny, i bought one on 84, which is only the 56th floor. so, you know, i got something out of it. >> jimmy: you got value out of it too, sure. >> what happened was there were some people who wanted to throw the trump management company off the board. and so -- and the trump people had sold a certain number of condos that meant they didn't really have control over the condo voting. and a bunch of us led an opposition to that because if they took the trump name off, that was actually the thing that

was worth something. took the name off, we would have lost money. now it's like, take it off. >> jimmy: right, people are demanding it come off. >> so we won. then the next day, i get this phone call in my office. my secretary peers in and says, donald trump is on the line. i say, oh, yeah, yeah, donald trump. and i answer the phone. donald trump, "you were great, you have an amazing speaking voice, what kind of law do you practice, brilliant, amazing, terrific, great thing you did." and that's -- then they asked me to go on for the board, to the condo board. and i thought about it for about 30 seconds. maybe five seconds. i don't want to be in a frickin' elevator and have people complaining about the water and this and that and all that stuff. and i said no. but then dumbass me, i come home and i say, they wanted me to be on the board. my wife says, oh, yeah, go, you've got to do it, got to do it!

i don't really want to do it, i don't want to deal with these people in the elevator complaining about stuff. she goes, i'll do it! >> jimmy: and that's where the trouble started. >> that's the end -- the beginning of the end. >> jimmy: so when you -- i've heard you say, on election night you were very -- you were overcome with emotion when trump won? >> of course i was. my wife, she was a political consultant, she'd always wanted to do a major presidential campaign. it was the pinnacle of her career. and this guy was done before she joined the campaign. and she turned it around. they got him to read the teleprompter. they got him to act -- [ laughter ] -- like almost a normal human being for eight weeks. [ laughter ] and that was enough for people who said, i don't want to vote for hillary. >> jimmy: kellyanne's working for donald. when do you start attacking him on twitter? [ laughter ] >> it took awhile. >> jimmy: how many months?

>> it took probably a year and a half, although there was one early tweet where he just said something so frickin' insane that i just sort of tweeted something out. then all of a sudden i got 50 phone calls and the press was calling and i tamped it down and kept my mouth shut for a while. >> jimmy: what was it like that first time when you tweeted something, then kellyanne came home from work? [ laughter ] >> well, actually -- at the time, i was still in new jersey. because we have four kids. >> jimmy: good move. >> yes. [ laughter ] i should have stayed there, right? and we have four kids up in new jersey. she was down there by herself in an apartment in washington. spring of 2017. immediately i'm getting calls from her what do you do, what did you do? turned out he wasn't all that mad about it. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what about this, trump tweeted, referring to you, you are a stone-cold loser and husband from hell. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is a guy who had sex with a porn star while his wife was pregnant. for him to call you the husband

from hell, that is meaningful. >> yeah, you made that point very welln eric trump went after me. >> jimmy: oh, that's right, yes. >> you said, "oh, wait till he hears what daddy and uncle stormy did." >> jimmy: uncle stormy. is stormy daniels a man, holy moly. >> sorry. >> jimmy: that would have been a hell of a revelation. >> times are very confusing. his are "i, me, my." >> jimmy: as a lifelong republican, lifelong conservative, it must be strange to be somebody that liberals accept and enjoy the tweets and get some kind of -- >> some liberals. other liberals just say, you're playing both sides, you're doing this for money, you're doing this for -- you know, to hedge your bets. and i don't understand where they get that from. if you paid attention to what i've been saying pretty consistently for about four years, i mean, there's no error in it, i think the guy's a

menace to the world, i think he's a menace to society. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy as a lawyer, somebody who's followed this closely, do you think he will ever get punished for being this menace to the world, menace to society? will he ever do any time? >> you know, i think he's going to be charged. i think he's going to be convicted. >> jimmy: with which of the many things? >> oh, well, you know -- >> jimmy: which is the biggest one? >> it's so hard, eeny, meeny, miny, moe, it's really hard. i think the documents cases is the one that's going to kill him. >> jimmy: that's the one? >> yeah, the stolen documents case. it's like -- you know, it's like, say you're the united states attorney, southern district of new york, you're investigating the five families. you're trying to put together this massive rico case with all these, you know -- >> jimmy: the mafia. >> you get this call from nypd saying, hey, you know -- the head of the five families, we just got him, he was loading

jewelry onto a truck at kennedy airport, got him dead to rights, he's got the documents. documents didn't belong to him, he lied about them, he got his lawyers to lie about them, he defied a subpoena, and he did it for a year and a half. the only thing that could make it worse is if he fed exed some of them to putin. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that could be possible. >> you never know. >> jimmy: do you -- why do you think he is announcing that he said he's going to -- hinted strongly he will announce he's going to run tuesday? is that to avoid some kind of prosecution? >> i think it's going to be so he can say, ah-ha, they're indicting me because i'm running! you know, think he would have run anyway because i don't think he can help himself, he's a narcissistic sociopath. [ laughter ] you laugh. buy the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders. and you will see. you did this. >> jimmy: we did this, that's

right. >> you did that for narcissistic personality disorder, you checked all nine boxes. you can do it for antisocial disorder, sociopathy. the man has no moral conscience. he lies like we breathe. he absolutely shows no remorse about anything. and he violates laws and norms with reckless impunity. and he's completely impulsive. that's another one of the -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> you only need three of those to be a winner. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: we all have the uncomfortable thanksgiving dinner, you have that all the time. it's great to meet you in person. george conway. [ cheers and applause ] you can see george's columns in "the washington post." thank you, george. we'll be back with breland. >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by the "s" class from mercedes-benz.

>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes eq. all electric, all mercedes. >> jimmy: thanks to bill maher and george conway.

apologies to matt damon. here with his song "for what it's worth," breland! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ bad eyed it's my second chance and three and four ♪ ♪ late nights going back and forth in the heartbreak war ♪ ♪ i admit that i was immature and i was insecure ♪ ♪ i took advantage in my head of yours ♪ ♪ i don't know if i should say this but i can't make the worse ♪ ♪ maybe you could take this for what it's worth ♪ ♪ i hope that you're happy now and that you found what you didn't in me ♪ ♪ for what it's worth i'd trade everything i have for what i had ♪ ♪ for what it's worth i didn't

disappoint i could be what you deserve ♪ ♪ for what it's worth ♪ ♪ god honest i never wanted to be a menace ♪ ♪ wish you never left you were right i guess when you said we were better off this way ♪ ♪ now you've got me looking in the mirror and i know that i can make this right but let me make it clear ♪ ♪ it's nothing you could say that i ain't already heard ♪ ♪ maybe you could take this for what it's worth ♪ ♪ i hope that you're happy now and that you found what you didn't in me ♪ ♪ for what it's worth i'd trade everything i have for what i had ♪ ♪ for what it's worth i didn't

disappoint i could be what you deserve ♪ ♪ now i'm speeding behind you every curve and your love ♪ ♪ for what it's worth ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ for what it's worth i hope that you're happy now and that you found what you didn't in me ♪ ♪ for what it's worth i'd trade everything i have for what i had ♪ ♪ for what it's worth i ain't disappointed i could be what you deserve ♪ ♪ now i'm here and i deserve your love for what it's worth ♪ ♪ oh whoa oh for what it's worth ♪ ♪ for what it's worth ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight -- >> well, hey, there, welcome to my house. >> michelle obama opening up about her experience with low-grade depression. >> i struggled, like a lot of people, to find a sense of hope in all of this. >> her exclusive interview with robin roberts, sharing the personal toolbox that got her through. >> i figured, i can't help anybody else if i don't know my tools. >> plus what she has to say about that famous saying we've all come to know. >> when they go low, we go high. hidden heroes. the black marines forgotten no more. >> they were the best and the bright els and the toughest. and i said, that's me. >> remembered on t