tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC December 16, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST
11:35 pm
>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- billy crystal, kate berlant, and music from camilo. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: well, that's very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. i want to welcome you. thank you for joining us in southern california, where it's sunny. even though the holidays are -- it's mariah carey time.
11:36 pm
[ laughter ] you know, all she wants for christmas is me? >> guillermo: oh wow, that's great. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she keeps singing it. we're into the holidays hard at our house. last night, we decorated gingerbread houses. which i am terrible at. we've already watched "elf," "charlie brown christmas," "home alone," "christmas story," and all three versions of "the grinch." we were watching "the grinch" last night, and you know how at the end of "the grinch," the grinch steals all the toys, and goes up to the mountain, waits for everyone in whoville to cry, he wants them to wake up and cry? but instead of crying, they sing, and his heart becomes engorged with love? well, i asked my kids. i said, "if the grinch came and stole everything, all our toys on christmas morning, would you cry? or would you still be happy it was christmas and we had each other?" immediately they said, "oh, we would cry for sure. [ laughter ] it's not a realistic story at all. [ laughter ] we haven't put our tree up yet. we're going to do it next week. this is how i want to do it. this is how they got the annual
11:37 pm
christmas tree, a 40 footer, into the durham museum in omaha, nebraska. they just attach it to the back of two tracks and dragged it in there. how they got the trucks out of the museum, i don't know. maybe they just blew them up or something? [ laughter ] they had to be drunk when they came up with this plan, right? this is not a decision that sober people make. [ laughter ] i tell you what, i admire it. congratulations are also in order for the u.s. men's soccer team -- [ cheers and applause ] who won, they advance to the round of 16 at the world cup. they beat iran 1-0. this was a weird one to root for because you'd think the u.s. versus iran would be like rocky versus drago. but there's a revolution going on right now in iran led by women and young people who are speaking out against the vicious regime that runs that country. [ cheers and applause ]
11:38 pm
and the players for iran have shown a lot of courage. they even refused to sing their national anthem, which resulted in the iranian government threatening to torture their families. so they weren't exactly villains. it's like finding out the shark in "jaws" is an endangered species. you don't know who to root for. [ laughter ] next up, the americans will play the netherlands. and they're tough, the dutch. you know, they wear wooden shoes with the little points on them. [ laughter ] "i'll kick you." and it hurts. [ laughter ] that game is on saturday at 6:00 a.m. our time. will you get up for that, guillermo? >> guillermo: yeah, of course. go usa, yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're rooting for us? >> guillermo: yes, jimmy, yeah. >> jimmy: will you be drinking? in the morning? for that game? when benji wakes up, will daddy be hammered with a waffle in his mouth? >> guillermo: no, only one shot. >> jimmy: just one shot? >> guillermo: that's it, yes. >> jimmy: at the beginning of the game or the end? >> guillermo: at the beginning for the nerves. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in other sports news, this is good for americans to see. evidently, we are not the only people not getting along with each other. canadians are having some trouble too. at least two of them are. this is from an amateur hockey game up in british columbia. stay all the way to the end of
11:39 pm
this clip, you will be very glad you did. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: knocking yourself unconscious against the glass in a hockey rink is what they call "a canadian nap." [ laughter ] speaking of head injuries, polls are showing herschel walker -- [ laughter ] in a dead heat with the incumbent raphael warnock in
11:40 pm
their runoff. and republicans are pulling out all the stops to support him. senators ted cruz and lindsey graham in particular have spent more time with herschel than he has spent with all of his children combined. >> teamherschel.com, teamherschel.com, teamherschel.com. >> teamherschel.com. teamherschel.com. teamherschel.com. teamherschel.com. teamherschel.com. >> teamherschel.com. teamherschel.com. >> teamherschel.com. >> teamherschel.com. teamherschel.com. teamherschel.com. >> 21, 22 -- 32, 33, 34, 35 -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i really think lindsey graham might be in love with herschel walker. [ laughter ] it's crazy. by the way, 35 push-ups, it's hard to do push-ups with an erection, that's a lot. [ laughter and applause ] we seem to be in the middle of a never-ending political campaign. the next presidential election is still two years away, but the race to run the republican national committee is heating up. we learned yesterday that mr. mypillow, mike lindell, is throwing his tin foil hat in the
11:41 pm
ring. [ laughter ] he wants to be in charge of republican party campaign spending. he would like to unseat ronna mcdaniel. and mike lindell has a tendency to make big announcements that never really pan out. like he said he was going to have 30,000 people at his rally, he was off by 29,000 people. [ laughter ] or when he said the supreme court was going to side with him 9-0, they went against him 0-9. or when he said donald trump would be reinstated as president on august 13th of last year. and then when that didn't happen, he said he'd be reinstated at thanksgiving. and instead, trump now spends thanksgiving at a golf club with an antisemitic schizophrenic and teenage mutant ninja hitler. [ laughter ] when mike lindell says he's going to beat the current chair, ronna mcdaniel, we're probably going to have to settle for him hitting ronald mcdonald over the head with a chair. >> i went through my due diligence, and in prayer, i am 100% running for rnc chairman against ronna mcdaniel, 100%. i'm all-in, steve. and one of the things that --
11:42 pm
one of the big donors said to me, "mike, everybody wants you to be head of the rnc, some of them just don't know it yet." >> jimmy: right, right. and they never will. [ laughter ] you do have to admire his crackheaded optimism, though. sadly, it seems the media is not taking mike's ambitions seriously. and he is upset that jokes are being made about this. some of them even coming from me. >> we have our own platform, but we built it as we were getting attacked. we built it, you know -- jokes were made then. jimmy kimble, everybody, remember the jokes that were made. he joked about frank's speech, yet he was the one that watched it the most. >> jimmy: that is true, actually. [ laughter ] yeah, i did watch it a lot. [ applause ] you know what i'm a fan. that's why i don't want him running the rnc. i mean, he's got to be there for me when i need him. even business-wise, it makes no sense. right now, mike is currently being sued for $1.3 billion by
11:43 pm
the voting machine company dominion. and he's almost certainly going to lose. the rnc doesn't pay enough. mike needs to be thinking about higher-paying jobs, like being an art thief or being beyonce or something like that. [ laughter ] and what about the pillows? without mypillows, donald trump will have nothing to scream into at night anymore. [ laughter ] donald trump is bigly upset about jack smith, the special counsel who was appointed to oversee the investigations into the classified documents he stashed in his basement, and the role he played leading the insurrection on january 6th. and you know it's getting serious because he's been referring to himself with his middle initial again. he wrote, "this fully weaponized monster, jack smith, shouldn't be let anywhere near the political persecution of president donald j. trump. i did nothing wrong on january 6th, and nothing wrong with the democrats' fix on the document hoax. that is, unless the six previous presidents did something wrong also." dot dot dot. while he went to the bathroom. then back, dot dot dot. [ laughter ]
11:44 pm
"when will you invade bill and hillary's home in search of the 33,000 emails she deleted? when will you invade the other presidents' homes in search of documents, which are voluminous, which they took with them, but not nearly so openly and transparently as i did?" [ laughter ] which, i'm not a lawyer, but seems like he just admitted in writing to taking the documents. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] maybe he's right. maybe we don't need a special counsel, he just closed the case himself. [ laughter ] saying you committed the crime "openly and transparently" is not a defense. it's a confession. [ laughter ] because he's scared. trump is so scared of jack smith, you'd think he was a windmill. [ laughter ] meanwhile, the trump family is spinning out, too. trump's fourth favorite son eric has been making the rounds. and doing interviews. though, to his credit, he's very professional about it. he does not play the daddy card. he is completely his own man. >> tom brady always fought and played for his team. my father's playing for team america.
11:45 pm
my father won the primaries. right? my father fought for this cont -- this country. my father gets out there, "we're going to build a wall." my father cleared most of the rinos out. my father will win. my father. my father. my father. my father, my father, my father, my father, my father fought his ass off every single day -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. your father is so busy working his ass off he forgets my birthday and my phone number. [ laughter ] and sometimes my name. [ laughter ] eric's father is having a tough week. several prominent republicans have distanced themselves from trump's dinner with schmucks. even mike pence took some time during the world's saddest book tour to weigh in on that ill-advised meal with the k-k-ye. >> president trump was wrong to give a white nationalist, an anti-semite, and a holocaust denier a seat at the table. i think he should apologize for it. and he should denounce those
11:46 pm
individuals and their hateful rhetoric, without qualification. >> jimmy: good, good, well said, mike. let's just leave it at that. >> that being said -- [ laughter ] as i point out in the book as well, i don't believe donald trump is an anti-semite. i don't believe he's a racist or a bigot. i would not have been his vice president if he was. >> jimmy: right. no, he's not a racist. he just eats with them. [ laughter ] i love mike pence telling donald trump to apologize. donald trump hasn't even apologized for trying to kill you! [ laughter ] you think he's going to apologize for this? [ cheers and applause ] and kanye. trump is very mad at kanye. he believes he was ambushed. he reportedly told those around him, "kanye tried to f me, he is crazy." [ laughter ] yeah, no kidding. he declared "death con-3" against the jewish people. that wasn't a hint? you invited a lunatic over for taco tuesday. [ laughter ]
11:47 pm
kanye is doing interviews. he was on a podcast yesterday where he claimed he owes more than $50 million in taxes. well, good luck finding a decent accountant. [ laughter ] he also claims that the irs put a $75 million hold on his bank accounts, and they're trying to put him in prison. but even if they do, he says he will still run for president. man, how great would it be to have kanye and trump running against each other from prison? [ laughter ] maybe even in the same cell? [ laughter ] the future does not seem bright for kanye west. he owes the government a lot of money. no one wants to do business with him. he shows no sign of contrition whatsoever. and even wholesome neighborhood shoe merchants are circling him, smelling blood. >> looking for a stylish, comfortable shoe that looks great, fits your budget, and has no association with the most unhinged rapper who ever lived? ye-less shoes has you covered. we have no affiliation with kanye west or his white supremacist friends. these nonbigoted boat shoes, ye-less.
11:48 pm
these fit for a jesus sandals, ye-less. these? we wouldn't be caught defcon 3 selling these anti-semitic banana peels. . >> i love my ye-less shoes. i wear them on the treadmill, on the street, and around normal people without looking like a ye-hole. >> i used to wear yeezies, then i switched to ye-less. boy are my feet, and my rabbi, happy. >> sporty yet sensible. >> the easiest, un-yeezyist shoe store there is. you can't deny these savings or the holocaust any longer. recommended by, well, you know. >> it was a jewish doctor. >> oy, vey, you've got that right. ye-less shoes. just jew it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we have a marvelous show for you tonight. kate berlant is here. we've got music from camilo. and we'll be right back with billy crystal. so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
11:49 pm
♪ ♪ i see an amazing place. feels like a dream. a place of many wonders... and full of life. i open my eyes: earth is our pandora. ♪ ♪ so, you're 45. that's the perfect age to see some old friends, explore new worlds, and to start screening for colon cancer. yep. with colon cancer rising in adults under 50, the american cancer society recommends starting to screen earlier, at age 45. i'm cologuard, a noninvasive way to screen at home, on your schedule. and i find 92% of colon cancers. i'm for people 45+ at average risk for colon cancer, not high risk. false positive and negative results may occur. ask your provider if cologuard is right for you.
11:50 pm
11:51 pm
11:53 pm
there's nothing better than being a kid on christmas morning. until you become a parent. ♪ ♪ and even though these moments don't last forever. duracell, can make them last longer. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight, a very funny person. her weird and wonderful one-woman show is called "kate." kate berlant is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, his album "de adentro pa afuera" is nominated for a grammy. did i do that right, guillermo? >> guillermo: a little bit. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the tables have turned, haven't they? >> guillermo: yes. "de adentro pa afuera."
11:54 pm
it's nominated for a grammy. camilo from the mercedes eq stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, we'll be joined by david harbour and lisa ann walter. with music from thee sacred souls. our first guest is a six-time emmy winner, current grammy nominee, and the oscar host against whom all others are measured. his movie-turned-tony-nominated play, "mr. saturday night: a new musical comedy," has turned into a movie again. it premieres thursday, exclusively on broadway hd. please welcome billy crystal. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good, i'm good. still excited from the game today. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> oh, yeah, it was nuts.
11:55 pm
>> jimmy: were you? >> after the game, the coverage in the sports bars, all these drunk guys taunting the netherlands. [ laughter ] "the netherlands, we're coming for you, netherlands!" you don't taunt the netherlands. >> jimmy: you shouldn't taunt the netherlands. >> no. >> jimmy: i was watching it in my office -- really not watching it, typing on my computer, kind of listening to it. i keep hearing the guys, "ohh!" "what happened?" "oh, something almost happened." [ laughter ] over and over and over. >> it was really exciting. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. >> you too. >> jimmy: i've been thinking about this lately. because i'm hosting the oscars for the third time. [ cheers and applause ] no, stop. >> and you do it great, you do it great. >> jimmy: you hosted it nine times. [ cheers and applause ] and so well. i know how much -- i have an idea of how much work goes into that, and you're so great at it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i want to ask you a question.
11:56 pm
you called me after i hosted the oscars the first time, and i was flattered to hear from you. when you hosted the oscars the first time, or in any event of the times, did anyone who you respected and admired call you in that same -- similarly? >> yeah, it was the most exciting phone call i've ever gotten in my life. >> jimmy: oh, great, all right. >> the call to tell me in 1968 that i was out of the draft. [ laughter ] 'twas the night after the "titanic" show. >> jimmy: right, right. >> the highest-rated oscar show of all-time and i happened to be part of that. that morning -- you know, you can't sleep. once the pressure's off, you go out, you have a couple of belts, you eat, and your mind, as comics, "what did i do, did i say this right?" you don't sleep. 8:30, i drift off. my assistant carol calls me. she says, "hey, boss, johnny carson is on the phone." and i went, uh, what?
11:57 pm
i said, "is it really him?" she said, "yeah, what should i tell him?" i said, tell him to [ bleep ] off. [ laughter ] and he goes, "really?" "no!" and i wake up. i'd never spoken to him except it's on the show. are you sure it's not marty short? is it christopher guest? are you sure it's him? now i get to the phone. i am sweating like albert brooks in "broadcast news." [ laughter ] pouring off me. "hi, johnny." then there's that voice. you know? "i just got to tell you, you did so great, and you know, i just -- i've done it, a bunch of times." he said all these nice things. "no one should do it but you." on and on and on and on and on. and i went, "thank you." and i started to cry. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. because that's all you wanted, back then, was for johnny to give you -- >> jimmy: right. >> "give me one of these."
11:58 pm
rodney used to say. i got one of these. >> jimmy: you're saying johnny doesn't want me to host this show? [ laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: oh. >> no. >> jimmy: okay, that's what i got from it. [ laughter ] >> no, it was kind of extraordinary. >> jimmy: yeah. that's pretty -- that's pretty spectacular, yeah. >> the whole thing is spectacular. if you get into it, the people that you get to meet -- people you never thought you would ever meet. >> jimmy: what are some of the people you met that -- >> that are -- strangers you ever -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> shirley temple. >> jimmy: wow, okay. >> they had a reunion of all the past living winners -- well, of course they're the living winners. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wheeling out -- >> and she was backstage. and it's that same little -- that face that she had when she was a little kid. >> jimmy: how old was she when you met her? >> she was 109. [ laughter ] no, she must have been in her late 70s. and she said to me -- that face. she was -- i think she had had a couple of belts. >> jimmy: really? she doesn't drink those nonalcoholic red drinks? >> her own drinks, she doesn't
11:59 pm
drink her shirley temple. she said, "where's the ladies' room?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you know? >> i said, i don't know. >> jimmy: you brought us a picture of thanksgiving. >> oh, man. >> jimmy: i want to ask about this. you're here at thanksgiving. >> yeah, it's the best holiday. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you like it best, huh? >> i do. >> jimmy: most people do, i think. >> because i get to wear my yankee apron. >> jimmy: uh-huh, right. >> and i get to drink moscow mules, one after the other. and that's not a good thing to do when you're going to carve a turkey. >> jimmy: did you carve -- did you cook that turkey or just cut it? >> we cooked one and got another one -- >> jimmy: oh, oh. backup. smart. >> i carved both. i carved both. >> jimmy: by carved, you mean chopped beyond recognition, it looks like. [ laughter ] >> well, the moscow mules. [ laughter ] war surgeon in those movies.il - that leg's gonna have to come off, kid! rrrghh!
12:00 am
>> jimmy: one of the things i miss about doing shows over zoom is seeing inside people's houses. i really like looking around your house. what is that, you've got a tv monitor? can we push in on that? >> that's a security -- >> jimmy: oh, wait. [ laughter ] i hope that's a screen saver. [ cheers and applause ] johnny would love that. >> yeah. oh, that's funny. >> jimmy: what did you guys end up doing for thanksgiving? >> we had everybody over like we do every year. >> jimmy: how many people are we talking about? >> 49. no, it was 18. >> jimmy: okay. >> but it's like a four-day event for us. >> jimmy: is it really? >> yeah. wednesday they show up with their rolling suitcases. oh, boy. and you just invited them for dinner, they come the day before. [ laughter ] and you hear the wheels on the walkway. you go, "they're here." [ laughter ] "hey, bill, you fix that fireplace in the guesthouse?" "yeah, i did, just for you." so then we do that. we had a problem right
12:01 am
approaching the holiday. which i think should be renamed. >> jimmy: why? >> thanksgiving is great, but it's not what you do. you know? you eat your ass off, which i think is what the holiday should be called. [ laughter ] "so you're coming over for eat your ass off?" >> jimmy: i like it. [ laughter ] >> it's good, catchy. so two weeks before, janice and i decided, let's lose about five pounds in two weeks so we can really just really enjoy the four days. >> jimmy: okay. >> we get this food delivered by this really good service. it's diet food. it comes in a zip-loc kind of bag. you know. and they leave it early in the morning, you go to pick it up. the first two days, great, lost a pound and a half the first two days. then i come out and the bag is unzipped and the food is gone. two, three, four days in a row, the food is gone. i go on the security cameras. we see raccoons. [ laughter ] they're so smart. they come with those -- you know. [ laughter ]
12:02 am
and they eat. they ate all the diet food. but you know what, they look fantastic. [ laughter and applause ] i went a long way for that. so then we eat -- we do all the stuff. we go to disneyland. filled with food. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> we go to disney land. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> everybody's filled with food, oh my god. it's not a small world after all. [ laughter ] and everywhere you look, we started in churro land. [ laughter ] and everywhere you go, there's 15 of us, there's rides every place. it's fantastic, it's really still great. >> jimmy: yeah? >> there's a lot of rascal scooters. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> people getting around on a rascal scooter. my niece, she's 5 years old, goes up to a woman sitting on a rascal scooter, goes, "my turn." [ laughter ]
12:03 am
>> jimmy: did you get a turn? >> no, no. >> jimmy: people are rude. >> we walked ten miles. >> jimmy: really? >> it's not an easy walk. you're always, you know -- [ laughter ] it's a lot of dodging. so i'm walking up the street. and there's -- i'm next to a woman who's wearing mike wazowski stuff. i'm the voice. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: right, yeah, of course. yeah. >> she's got a big mike sweatshirt and her little son has a mike sweatshirt and a mike beanie, they're covered with merchandise that i don't have a part of. [ laughter ] so i'm next door. i'm like, oh, good mood, my kids are laughing, "she has no idea." so i went -- "hi, i'm mike wazowski." she goes, "that's good, but my brother does it better." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: billy crystal's here. we'll be right back.
12:05 am
tis the season for hashtag giving. oh, giving is the best blablablablaaaa. aww and a little something for the deer. ha-a-a-a-ash-tag sorry not sorry. get last minute gifts from 2-4-6 and 8 dollars. only at old navy and old navy.com [crunch] mr. clarke... your daughter is a very good kisser when you crave the uncomfortable, try new spicy pringles scorchin' [narrator] everyone needs quality health insurance, even if you're healthy and active. covered california is a free service to help you get covered. 90% of members have received financial help
12:06 am
and every plan offered is comprehensive, covering preventive care, doctor visits, emergency care, and more. regardless of your income, check today to see how covered california can help you. and if you have questions, there's free assistance every step of the way. covered california, this way to health insurance. enroll by december 31st at coveredca.com. (grandma) [in navajo] where are they? it is cold outside. (vo) wells fargo has donated $50 million dollars covered california, this way to health insurance. in support of indigenous peoples... including funding solar furnaces that convert sunlight... (grandma) come into the warm house (girl) hi grandma! (vo) into household heat. (grandma) [in navajo] are you kids hungry? (vo) doing gets it done. wells fargo, the bank of doing.
12:08 am
12:09 am
raced to the airport. i paid full fare, for god's sake. >> schmuck, you tell them it's a bereavement. >> i couldn't prove it. >> that's why i carried the picture of dad napping. >> jimmy: that is billy crystal and david hamer in "mr. saturday night: a musical comedy" which, of course, is a great movie, then you made it into a great musical, which i was lucky enough to get to go see on broadway in new york. and now it's a movie again, so people can see it. > broadway hd, streaming december 1st, i couldn't be more excited about it. when you're on -- in broadway, it's 1,100 people a night and that's it. >> jimmy: right. >> so now, we close, right before labor day, everybody around the world can now see it. i'm really proud of it. it came out all right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: your singing, i have to say, i don't know, maybe i shouldn't have been surprised. i was surprised how strong your singing was in this musical. >> i didn't do my own singing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that wasn't you? your lip synching --
12:10 am
>> i had josh groban in the wings. >> jimmy: oh, that was josh. >> i trained very hard. you saw. it's a bear, this show. >> jimmy: it was very physician. how do you train? this is a dumb question, but how do you train to be a good singer? >> you have a great coach, his name was david stroud. and he trains a lot of the -- the "the voice" singers, "america's got talent" singers, "american idol" singers, he's great. i started about nine, ten months. it's a lot of scales. it's like working out in the gym. you just have to make your muscles strong. and i was always kind of musical. >> jimmy: what's working out in the gym? [ laughter ] >> and then, you know, i started -- once the score was written, just start working on those numbers and interpreting them and learning how to hit notes. the hard thing about it is you're doing it seven times a week. my character is 75 for most of the show.
12:11 am
then i have to play him at 25. >> jimmy: right. >> and i have to play him at 30. sing at different -- in different ways. you know? so it was interesting. >> jimmy: yeah, but it came out great. it's well worth seeing. it's on broadway hd? >> stream, you'll find it. >> jimmy: you are nominated for a grammy for the soundtrack, right? >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how many grammys have you been nominated for? >> i'm in an interesting category. i'm in the "pees when he hits a high note" category. just a little. it is my third grammy nomination. >> jimmy: third grammy nomination. you look marvelous. [ cheers and applause ] >> first i lost to paul shafer. lost to whoopi goldberg. second was the audiobook of my memoir when i turned 65, "still fooling them," lost to colbert. now we're up for this, maybe third time's a charm. the thing with the colbert thing, i really wanted to win that.
12:12 am
i was very proud of that album. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> i read the book in front of a live audience, for most of it. it was like the comedy albums we grew up on. >> jimmy: do you feel steven should give you that grammy just as a sign of respect? >> or make me the governor of arizona. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that settled yet? >> no. but that book won the audiobook of the year. the audi, it's called. >> jimmy: oh. >> a big one. i think this is really great. the three finalists. bryan cranston and meryl streep. can't get much better than that. >> jimmy: wow. did you rub it in afterwards? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: you have to, yeah. [ laughter ] >> that's the only time i'll beat her at anything. >> jimmy: the great billy crystal, everybody. watch his special, "mr. saturday night: a new musical comedy." thursday.roadway hd premiering - thank you, billy. we'll be back with kate berlant!
12:13 am
relapsing ms isn't the only thing i have going on. that's why my doctor and i chose kesimpta. kesimpta is different. it's the only b-cell treatment for rms i can take at home once a month. kesimpta was proven superior at reducing the rate of relapses, active lesions and slowing disability progression vs aubagio.
12:14 am
for me, a once-monthly treatment just works for my schedule. don't take kesimpta if you have hepatitis b, and tell your doctor if you have had it, as it could come back. kesimpta can cause serious side effects, including infections. while no cases of pml were reported in rms clinical trials, it could happen. tell your doctor if you had or plan to have vaccines, or if you are or plan to become pregnant. kesimpta may cause a decrease in some types of antibodies. the most common side effects are upper respiratory tract infection, headache, and injection reactions. when i'm ready, i spend less than 1 minute a month taking kesimpta. how i spend the rest of my time is up to me. ask your doctor about treating rms with kesimpta. an experienced qpc eater knows. you should never let the ketchup that falls from the hot and juicy burger. go to waste. ♪
12:15 am
12:16 am
i'll remember that chapter of my life forever. we laughed. we cried. we protected that progressive home & auto bundle day and night. we left our blood, sweat, and tears on that yard. well...jamie did anyway. how do i do it all? with a little help. and to support my family's immune health, i choose airborne. unlike some others, airborne gives you vitamin c and so much more. it's an 8 in 1 immune support formula. airborne. do more. a dental tool is round for a reason. so is an oral-b. round cleans better by surrounding each tooth. so clean, you'll feel like you just left the dentist. oral-b. brush like a pro. ♪
12:19 am
moderate to severe eczema still disrupts my skin. despite treatment it disrupts my skin with itch. it disrupts my skin with rash. but now, i can disrupt eczema with rinvoq. rinvoq is not a steroid, topical, or injection. it's one pill, once a day, that's effective without topical steroids. many taking rinvoq saw clear or almost-clear skin while some saw up to 100% clear skin. plus, they felt fast itch relief some as early as 2 days. that's rinvoq relief. rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tb. serious infections and blood clots, some fatal, cancers including lymphoma and skin cancer, death, heart attack, stroke, and tears in the stomach or intestines occurred. people 50 and older with at least one heart disease risk factor have higher risks. don't take if allergic to rinvoq, as serious reactions can occur. tell your doctor if you are or may become pregnant. disrupt the itch and rash of eczema. talk to your doctor about rinvoq. learn how abbvie can help you save.
12:20 am
did you know one of nissan's evs survived the north pole? ♪ and one can go 0-60 in 2.8 seconds... ♪ and they're all emission free. but don't get an ev for the “e”... ♪ get it because it pins you to your seat... ♪ sparks your imagination... and takes your breath away... nissan evs aren't just electric, they electrify you. ♪ (vo) red lobster. the finer points of fun dining creating your own ultimate feast... they electrify you. ...is the ultimate form of shell-fish-pression. create your own ultimate feast is here. choose 4 of 10, like new cheddar bay shrimp. welcome to fun dining.
12:21 am
why did you invite him? he was out there all alone. great party. i really feel the warmth. i wish this night would last forever! i'll get a mop. m&m's. for all funkind. ok, this audition better be worth the cost of the ink taped up behind us. we have the canon g series with megatank. that means megasavings. this laptop camera doesn't cut it. i'm so nervous your teeth are chattering. just set up your eos webcam utility software with your eos camera. alright fine, this better work. okay, yeah you're smarter than i look. for once i have your back. [laughs] stop it. less drama, more harmony, with canon.
12:22 am
♪ what i want you've got ♪ ♪ and it might be hard to handle ♪ ♪ and how i can't explain ♪ ♪ oh, yeah ♪ ♪ well, well you ♪ ♪ (ooh-ho, hoo-ooh, ooh-oo) ♪ ♪ you make my dreams come true ♪ tis the season for hashtag giving. ♪ (ooh, giving is the best) ♪ blablablablaaaa. aww and a little something for the deer. ha-a-a-a-ash-tag sorry not sorry. get last minute gifts from 2-4-6 and 8 dollars. only at old navy and old navy.com there is nothing glamorous about migraines. since i was a teenager the pain has taken me away from my family and friends. but i finally found relief with nurtec odt it's the only medication that can treat my migraine right when it strikes and prevent my next attack. treat and prevent all in one. don't take if allergic to nurtec. most common side effects, in less than 3%, were nausea, indigestion/stomach pain. with quick dissolving nurtec i can get back to normal fast and prevent my next attack. treat & prevent - all in one.
12:24 am
our next guest is an actor, writer, podcaster, comedian, and playbill-type star of a critically acclaimed one-woman show about herself. "kate" returns to the connelly theatre in new york, december 19th. please welcome kate berlant. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very happy to have you here. you're very, very funny. >> oh, wow. >> jimmy: i heard you brought your mom to the show? >> i did, i did. my mother, helen, is backstage right now. hi, mom. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's nice of her. does she come to things? >> no, she doesn't support my work. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she doesn't? >> but she loves you. she's here, yes. >> jimmy: same with my mom, she likes you, doesn't care for me much. that's great. >> she's an angel, truly. hi, mom. my mother is so enchanting. people meet her, look at their own mothers, "i can't." she's so -- she's unbelievable. >> jimmy: is she really? you're being serious?
12:25 am
>> you will be enchanted by her if you go backstage. >> jimmy: all right, i might need a little enchantment, why not? you can never have enough enchantment. >> no, we can't. we don't get enough of it today, am i right? [ applause ] >> jimmy: you play your mom in the stage show that you do. >> yes. there's a little bit where i play my mother. but i portray her as a callous irishwoman. my mother is actually a warm, spanish woman. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, but i tapped into something that is not her. it's actually quite cruel in retrospect. >> jimmy: does she like that? does she wish you were doing a more accurate representation? >> she's hurt. but i tell her, by the end show it's clear that's fiction, that's not truly my mother. >> jimmy: i see. >> for a lot of the show people are going, this girl has weathered a lot, taken a lot with a cruel mother. >> jimmy: my wife went to see your show in new york, she loved it. >> oh. >> jimmy: she said you were sitting in the lobby when the theatergoers arrived. >> yes, there's a bit -- in the lobby, the preshow, which people don't talk enough about that.
12:26 am
the show starts when you get in the door. >> jimmy: yeah, sure, yeah. >> what i did is i'm seated on a bench, there's a spotlight on me, a sign around my neck says "ignore me." laugh, please. [ laughter ] okay, no, i get it. challenge accepted. >> jimmy: do people ignore you? >> yes, they do. people come in, they're so reverent, i think they think i'm taking that seriously, this is my theater show, please ignore me. so people really tiptoe. it's amazing to be treated with that level of respect. >> jimmy: that's got to be a new york thing. i think in almost every other city, people would be like, oh, i'm not going to -- "how ya doing, good to see you!" >> people sit to me, photography is encouraged, just don't touch me. >> jimmy: do people violate that and touch you? >> no, they're very respectful. they get close but they don't touch. >> jimmy: that's nice. do you learn anything about them, seeing your fans when they come into the theater? >> i watch them roam, i watch them flirt. the show is a hotbed of flirtation. >> jimmy: is that true? >> yeah.
12:27 am
>> jimmy: are they flirting with you or each other? >> each other, which i encourage. it's a gorgeous crowd. >> jimmy: you grew up in the los angeles area? >> yes, santa monica, which is although technically not los angeles, culturally very wedded to l.a. >> jimmy: for sure. this is your high school yearbook. >> i can't believe you have that. >> jimmy: there's a group shot. and that's you right there, right? >> that's me. >> jimmy: yeah, let's really zoom in there. >> that's me. >> jimmy: because it would appear that you are holding a baby. [ laughter ] >> yes, yes. so this is -- some of my very early work. what i did was last minute, took a sweatshirt -- you can do this at home, any fabric, sweatshirts, bedding. if you fold it correctly, it will appear to be an infant. [ laughter ] you can do that if you want to appear virtuous or want to avoid someone. that was a little trick i pulled as a young youth. and none of the higher-ups noticed. and there it is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i like it. you didn't get in trouble for that? >> no, no.
12:28 am
>> jimmy: bo burnham helps you with the show? >> he directs the show. >> jimmy: he's fantastic. >> he's amazing. >> reporter: this is a real show. when we talk about a show, it's not you just doing stand-up, this is a show. >> this is a proper theatrical show. i'm a stand-up but this show is not my stand-up. it's a real theater -- it's a play. >> jimmy: it's a play. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and so you're playing various characters from your life? some that are completely made up as well. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you also -- now, have you -- what are you going to do differently? i know the show was in new york in the fall. now you're going to be doing it again. will it be the same thing? should people who saw it already come again? >> oh, a lot's going to change. no changes. but yes, please come back. [ laughter ] please come back. no, it's the same show. of course, things inevitably change as we repeat them over the years. but no, this is the new winter encore run. i'm very thrilled. >> jimmy: the winter encore run? >> encore, yeah. >> jimmy: it will be essentially the same thing?
12:29 am
>> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, okay. [ laughter ] >> so i am going to be, like i said, winter in new york, the cold, i'm from california. so the harsh elements. i'm not used to that. i am actively seeking a broth sponsorship. [ laughter ] for the winter run. i don't think anyone's ever done this before. >> jimmy: okay. >> where is my little -- >> jimmy: there's a cup there. >> there is a company i'm making a plea to. this is a gorgeous broth company in new york. >> jimmy: this is a real company? >> real company, i want to be clear, they do not know i'm doing this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. >> they're watching right now, "honey, are you watching abc, oh my god." this is a remarkable company. i'm so excited about the broth. i'm doing the show. i have to sustain myself. people say, what do you do backstage, what's your ritual? broth. >> jimmy: it's broth? >> broth. >> jimmy: will broth be provided to people at the show, the audience? or just be for you, the performer? >> the broth is just for me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: broth is just for you. >> i have to sustain myself. i need the minerals, the
12:30 am
nourishment. it's unreal. again, they have no idea. all i'm asking for is a cup of broth a day. seven shows a week, you can't let seven cups fall off the shelves for me? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's all you want is the product? >> you can't pay for this. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're not looking for cash? >> no. they love it. look at them, they love it. so nutritious, so comforting. come backstage after i perform, have the warm broth back there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't have to talk to me, i'm pro-broth, very pro-broth. >> imagine if they don't give me the broth after this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know, it would be -- you know what, we'd have to -- we'd both be embarrassed is what would happen. >> brodo, which i'm told is italian for "broth." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, well sure. if the folks at brodo -- [ cheers and applause ] >> please, please, please! >> jimmy: well, it's great to have you here. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: the show is called "kate," named after you.
12:31 am
returns to the connelly theater in new york december 19th. kate's comedy special, your specials are fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's called "cinnamon in the wind." it is on hulu now. kate berlant, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with camilo. >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes e-q. all electric, all mercedes.
12:32 am
12:33 am
>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes e-q. all electric, all mercedes. >> jimmy: i want to thank billy crystal and kate berlant. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next. but first, his grammy-nominated album is called "de adentro pa' afuera." here with the song "indigo," with help from evaluna, camilo! ♪ ♪ [ singing non-english ] ♪ ♪ [ singing non-english ]
12:37 am
[ cheers and applause ] this is "nightline." >> tonight, fight for freedom. a new york mom behind bars for killing her alleged abuser. >> she would come in with more and more bruising. >> but was it self-defense or murder? nicki adamando speaking out for the first time as calls for her to be granted clemency grow. >> what would you say to governor hochul? >> i desperately feel the weight to empower other survivors before it's too late. >> how her case is offering hope to others. and her kids' christmas wish, to have their mother home for the holidays. plus broadway royalty. audra mcdonald, the six-time tony award winner and star of the gilded age.
285 Views
IN COLLECTIONS
KGO (ABC) Television Archive Television Archive News Search ServiceUploaded by TV Archive on