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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  December 19, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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from all of us, we appreciate your time. right now on jimmy kimmel, wi >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- will ferrell, colson baker, and music from the linda lindas, with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. hello, everybody. thank you. thank you, everyone. very nice. well, thanks. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for joining us here on december 7th. today is the 81st anniversary of the attack on pearl harbor. it's pearl harbor day.
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many americans paid tribute today to those we lost at pearl harbor, but none less eloquently than former naval officer and white house press secretary sean spicer who tweeted -- "today is d-day. it only lives in infamy if we remember and share the story of sacrifice with the next generation. #dday." unfortunately for sean, today is not d-day. [ laughter ] d-day is on june 6th. nor does it live in infamy. unless you are a nazi or kanye west. [ laughter ] d-day is what sean spicer's parents called it when he brought his report card home. [ laughter ] so he's confused. and then, not to be out-dumbed, congresswoman lauren boebert of colorado tweeted this moving tribute to those who lost their lives at "pear harbor." [ laughter ] pear harbor. a day that will live in in-fam. [ laughter ] but the real dummy of the day today is none other than herschel walker, who will not be moving to washington. [ cheers and applause ] he lost bigly last night to
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senator raphael warnock in the georgia runoff. warnock was able to win a full term in the senate by staying focused on his primary message to georgia voters, which was "i am not herschel walker." [ laughter ] and it worked. and while herschel did not call senator warnock to offer congratulations last night, he did do what some notable republicans won't, he made a concession speech before a crowd of supporters at herschel headquarters. >> i don't want any of you to stop dreaming. i don't want any of you to stop believing in america. i want you to believe in america and continue to believe in the constitution and believe in our elected officials most of all. thank you, guys. thank you. >> jimmy: i'm glad to see those guys getting along. [ laughter ] and with the election behind him, herschel says he will now focus on his true passion, having more kids than nick cannon. [ rim shot ] herschel's already working on his next project, which is desperately trying to learn to sing "baby got back" while dressed like an acorn on "the masked singer." [ rim shot ] herschel has decided to step away from the spotlight to spend
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more time denying allegations from his family. [ rim shot ] thank you. let me tell you something. no one, and i mean no one, is more grateful that herschel walker lost the race than the hard-working clip researchers here at our show. [ laughter ] who not only have to watch him, they have to transcribe his sentences. [ laughter ] one of them in the middle of the night started running around on the freeway. we were worried. warnock's win in georgia marked yet another high-profile loss for a candidate backed by donald trump. >> i am not a gay man and i love you, herschel. herschel, you're fired. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was the first time it happened. an endorsement from trump is almost as worthless as a degree from trump university. his record in swing states this midterm as trump would say "that's not good." maybe instead of president, he should run for coach of the houston texans. [ laughter ] after the loss, trump wrote, "our country is in big trouble.
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what a mess!" and who better to clean up that mess than the guy who got us into it in the first place? we got new information on the classified document drama courtesy of "the washington post." trump's legal team says they completed a search of two of trump's properties. they searched his properties and did not find any more classified documents. they did a lot of digging and all they came up with was an ex-wife. [ laughter ] no documents at all. and while no top-secret files were found at the golf club in bedminster or at trump tower, his team did find at least two classified documents in a storage locker he keeps in palm beach. according to a source they found the documents alongside "suits, swords, and wrestling belts." [ laughter ] it's a sad day when you realize yur former president's storage unit and your 5-year-old son's christmas list are one and the same. [ laughter ] this is pretty crazy. this is not a comedy bit. this is a real commercial that aired on fox news today. the voice sounds like maybe someone got into junior's stash box, but make no mistake, the man peddling the coffee table book in this commercial is the former president of the united
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states. >> my fellow patriots this your all-time favorite president, donald j. trump. i wanted to share with you my newest book, "our journey together." it's a really beautiful coffee table book put out by winning team publishing. every caption is my own. the book did tremendously well. we now have more in stock. get your copy today at 45books.com. i think you'll really, really love it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: those louboutin shoes melania wears ain't going to buy themselves, folks. [ laughter ] and while trump has been palling around with white supremacists and hosting pizzagate parties, the white house today hosted a roundtable with jewish leaders to try to tackle this new wave of anti-semitism. i for one can think of no better way to calm down the anti-semite conspiracy theorists than gathering all the most powerful jewish people in the world together at the white house. the event was hosted by the second gentleman, doug emhoff, who is kamala's husband, the
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second gentleman. unfortunately, the roundtable was unable to solve the problem, so they're going to try again next week with a different-shaped table. [ laughter ] that's right. you know, when trump was in charge, the only "round tables" he cared about were those tiny little plastic ones in the middle of all the pizzas he had delivered. [ laughter ] google today released their annual "year in search" report and for the 15th year in a row the number one search of the year was "porn." [ laughter ] actually, it was "wordle." which is kind of the opposite of porn, really. wordle wasn't even a word three years ago, now it's number one. google collects a lot of interesting information about us and our country. i thought this was interesting, the words people had the most trouble pronouncing this year. according to google. number one, "qatar." makes sense. number two, "kyiv." whatever you want to say. and number three, "puzzle." [ laughter ] who doesn't know how to pronounce puzzle? how would you even attempt to pronounce it differently? pooz-lay? [ laughter ] here in l.a., we are experiencing yet another surge of covid.
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so bad news for all of you. [ laughter ] like the mcrib, covid is back, and also like the mcrib, it's here to kill us. [ laughter ] >> hello! >> jimmy: cases have skyrocketed -- >> ho ho ho ho ho ho! hello, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] hello! ho ho ho ho ho ho! hello! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how nice. look who's here. >> jimmy: who here is looking for great deals on one-of-a-kind christmas gifts? [ cheers and applause ] for the whole family? well, there's only one place to find them, santa's sack. >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] it's will ferrell, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] how you doing? >> hey, jimmy, what's up? >> jimmy: nothing, just -- you know. doing the monologue. >> yeesh, again? [ laughter ]
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good luck with that. okay, the first treasure up for sale is this -- >> jimmy: well, you know -- you're the guest on the show in like eight minutes. can't this wait until then? >> no can do, jimbo. these deals are so hot, they're burning a hole in my sack. [ laughter ] my first treasure -- oohh -- is a promotional beach towel. oh, yes. ah, from daddy's home 2. [ cheers and applause ] the movie that richard roeper called "tolerable." [ laughter ] folks can pick up this bad boy by calling the number on your screen, all the numbers. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> punch them in, into your phone. >> jimmy: okay. >> imagine getting out of the shower and rubbing me and mark wahlberg all over your underbody. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sounds great. thank you, will. >> now look at this beauty. you've heard of a laptop. well, this is a lapbottom.
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[ laughter ] it's just the keyboard part. i tested the keys and they work like a charm. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> this will cut your airport security time in half. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, that's a terrific offer. i actually -- i really should finish the monologue -- >> no one wants to hear your stupid jokes, okay? give it up, dude. folks, i'm so sorry about him. [ laughter ] fasten your seat belts, because things are about to get sexy. [ cheers ] our next item up is a zip-loc bag full of little blue pills. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hold on a second. that's -- i'm going to have to draw the line. you cannot sell drugs on television. >> but i don't need them anymore, my wife likes it floppy. >> jimmy: she does? >> probably. and these little picker uppers can be yours for only $89.99. >> jimmy: okay. >> whoa -- >> jimmy: that's a lot. >> this fellow looks like he needs them. [ laughter ] yeah! here you go, buddy.
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open wide! yeah. in fact, everyone, enjoy! that's going to keep you rigid till new year's! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. well, thank you, will. guillermo, can you help will get guillermo? out of the -- where'- >> our next item is a flirty men's bathrobe. [ cheers and applause ] worn by our sexy spokesmodel, javier! you know the old expression, the bathrobe ain't flirty unless i see a little of that dirty. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: can i tell you something? i've never heard that expression before in my life. >> it's common. >> jimmy: oh. >> it's common. especially around the holidays. javier, you are oozing sex right now. >> jimmy: that is not javier, that's guillermo.
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[ laughter ] and you're obviously just selling one of your old bathrobes. >> no, no, i'm not. >> jimmy: it's got a "wf" embroidered on the front of it. >> oh. well, that stands for "who farted?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have a "who farted?" bathrobe? >> not for long, because some lucky viewer can pick it up for just $17.99! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: okay, all right, that's great. what a treat. how many more items do you have? >> just one more. you're going to be really excited to bring you this -- it's your very own 5-year-old boy person! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hold on, who is -- who is this? >> hey, everyone calm down. it's my nephew. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. wait, you're selling your nephew? >> he got nut butter on my emmy award. >> jimmy: oh. >> so he's gotta go. [ laughter ] look at him. he knows what he did. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: do his parents know you're selling their son? >> oh, believe me, they're sick of him, too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, all right. come on, this is silly. why are you trying to sell your nephew -- why are you selling any of this junk? >> all right. if you must know, i put all my money in crypto last month. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. >> they said fortune favored the brave. things went sideways and now the bank's going to take my house. >> jimmy: you know, that's just very -- especially on the holidays -- you know what, i'll buy your stuff. how about that? >> all of it? >> jimmy: yeah, i'll take everything. i'll take the whole deal. >> even him? >> jimmy: yeah, sure. even the boy. >> that's fantastic! [ cheers and applause ] bless you. >> jimmy: i have a 5-year-old son, you guys will have a lot of fun together. >> his name is dawson, he's allergic to mangos, and he bites. >> jimmy: he what? >> he bites. >> jimmy: hi, dawson, thank you, will. >> merry christmas to you all! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: we've got a fun show for you tonight. you know who machine gun kelly is? his real name is colson baker. he's here. we have music from the linda lindas, they're kids just like you. we'll be back with will ferrell so stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'll remember that chapter of my life forever. we laughed, we cried, we protected that progressive home & auto bundle day and night. we were all of us dazzling... like knights sworn to protect our kingdom. we knew it wouldn't last forever, but... that's what made it special -- you know we'll be back tomorrow, right? yeah, but it'll never be today again. -[ groaning ] -just get on the bus, flo!
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get it? ow! so, you think santa will like these red and green m&m's? i don't know! i never met the guy! whaaaaa! he does exist! they do exist! uhm... santa? people who come to cricket, stay with cricket. cricket is easy, it's affordable, customer service is top notch, that's why i've been with them for so long. with all that, i'd stay awhile too. smile, you're on cricket! how white do you think your teeth really are? let's try the tissue test. ooof, still yellow. there's toothpaste white and there's crest 3d whitestrips white. whitestrips safely work below the enamel surface for whiter teeth in 3 days, guaranteed. a zillion times whiter! crest. if you thought one napkin for the quarter pounder with cheese was enough... ♪ ♪ it's not enough. tis the season for hashtag giving. ♪ ♪
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♪ >> jimmy: hi, welcome back. tonight, from the new movie "taurus," you know him as machine gun kelly, colson baker is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later on, this is a bunch of kids, a year and a half ago they made their television debut
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here on our show. they are back to put some punk into your holiday rock. the linda lindas from the mercedes eq stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, our guests are jean smart and wes bentley, with music from charley crockett. so join us for that. no one in this country says christmas like our on first guest, with the possible exception of jesus, santa, and mariah carey. he helps usher in the holidays alongside ryan reynolds in the comedy musical "spirited." you can see it now on apple tv plus. please welcome will ferrell! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> how are you? thank you. thank you for letting me sell some stuff. >> jimmy: oh, hey, it was totally my pleasure.
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>> that's going to put a dent -- >> jimmy: i hope you don't mind me showing a little bit behind the scenes. but will, as you came out, just leaned in and whispered nothing to me. [ laughter ] nothing. we were sharing a moment and said no words at all. >> i don't think you said any words either. >> jimmy: i didn't. i was waiting for you to say something, then you didn't. how are you doing? >> that's -- they get a peek behind the curtain. > jimmy: do you feel like -- and i know this is probably weird because you are you. but do you feel like you've become like a -- almost like tinsel or something? part of christmas, part of the fabric of christmas? >> it's -- it's pretty amazing, yeah. i'm, you know -- i can do anything i want from thanksgiving through january 13th. [ laughter ] people just let me into their houses. i can borrow their speed boat if i want to. >> jimmy: i feel like you could, for sure. >> i can shoplift. i can just do whatever. because of "elf."
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>> jimmy: that could be a fun project for us, actually. >> right. >> jimmy: take a camera into a store -- >> see what i can get away with? >> jimmy: you walk in, "hi, everyone, i'm will ferrell, i'm taking these steaks." then you walk out with them.pwe. >> yeah, let's do it. yeah, let's do it. >> jimmy: next christmas, we'll work that out. this movie "elf," which i've got a 5-year-old and an 8-year-old and they love this movie. >> right. >> jimmy: it's going to be one of these movies that we watch every generation. >> and we had no idea. >> jimmy: it's on every channel -- it was on al jazeera last night. [ laughter ] >> that -- i can totally hang it up now. i can hang it up. >> jimmy: and then buddy the elf's costume that i presume you wore in the movie, although that has not been confirmed -- did you see how much it sold for? >> i saw. $300,000. >> jimmy: $300,000 at an auction. an anonymous bidder bought it for $300,000. >> what? >> jimmy: in the uk. >> isn't that funny, they didn't want to reveal their name? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: isn't that
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interesting. >> yeah, isn't that strange. walking around the trees of london dressed as elf. the costume is not complete. >> jimmy: why? >> because i held on to the underwear. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> so -- so -- so, mr. foggy londontown, if you choose to reveal yourself -- [ laughter ] i could have these hand delivered. but yeah, i wore these the whole -- the whole 72 days of the shoot. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and it was not a good choice. >> jimmy: no. >> they would bunch up a lot, yeah, i'm not going to lie to you. but -- yeah. i went with a woman's thong. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you mind if i hang on to those? or -- just for -- yes, there we go, all right. i'll keep that right over here, if you don't mind. now that they've been touched by you, i think i could probably get 40 grand out of them. >> be my guest. >> jimmy: thank you. now you are america's most
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beloved christmas figure. >> okay. [ cheers ] sure, yeah. >> jimmy: you are the owner of a soccer -- football team, i'm sorry. i know that it's not appropriate -- >> part. part of the lafc, lafc ownership group, yeah. >> jimmy: that won the -- >> won the mls cup. >> jimmy: won the mls cup. [ cheers and applause ] that's pretty good. yeah. was that -- how does that compare to you -- like as far as yu had obviously a lot of success in show business. winning, being part of the ownership group winning this trophy -- >> it's pretty phenomenal. i mean, a little embarrassing, i was weeping. yeah. in front of my wife. and three children. saying, "this is the greatest day of my life!" >> jimmy: is your family excited about it? >> yeah, we were all there. i don't know if anyone happened to see the game, but it was overtime, went to penalty kicks, our starting goalie broke his
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leg saving a goal to keep the game from -- at a tie. then we had our backup keeper who used to play for the opposing team block two out of three of their shots. >> jimmy: and he's blind, right? >> and he's blind. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: which is incredible. >> he's blind. very gifted. they -- [ laughter ] they signal him when the ball's coming, like a dolphin. little clicks and whistles. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sonar? >> yeah, uses sonar. >> jimmy: wow. >> so it was literally unbelievable. >> jimmy: how old are your kids now? how old are the boys now? >> 18, 15, 12. >> jimmy: do you take them into the locker room? >> yeah, we all went to the locker room. >> jimmy: champagne in the air? >> took a photo with the guys drinking out of the cup. bad stale beer mixed in with the sweat of justin bieber. [ laughter ] he was at the game.
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>> jimmy: even the 12-year-old? did he have a little sip? >> yeah, we doused him. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: your oldest son is in a band, right? >> he's -- he's a singer/songwriter -- yeah. he has kind of a little -- yeah. he's writing his own music. >> jimmy: right. >> has songs. he just had a show. >> jimmy: he had a show, you were at the show. >> i was at the show. >> jimmy: does he want you to come to the show? >> he did. well, he loves when we come. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> and he asked if i would perform during one of his last songs. >> jimmy: he asked you to perform? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and we have a little -- i think somebody may have posted this video. >> yeah. >> jimmy: of you with your son. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you were on cowbell. did you bring that with you? >> i bring it everywhere. [ laughter ] just in case. i'm available for bar mitzvahs. >> jimmy: are you?
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>> holiday parties. >> jimmy: you have to be careful, you have to maintain your christmas status. you go to bar mitzvahs, you never knw what might happen. do you think you'll ever play santa claus? would that be your next step as far as the christmas thing goes? >> no. >> jimmy: why? >> i think it's too challenging. >> jimmy: have you ever dressed as santa chaus? >> i have. i was -- back in my struggling days as an actor, i was a mall santa claus. >> jimmy: you were, really? >> and my elf was none other than chris kattan. >> jimmy: come on. >> yes. and we walked around -- do we have people who live in pasadena here? old town pasadena has an open-air kind of mall. >> jimmy: yeah? >> we walked around for four straight weekends. hired to just walk around. we went set up in a chair or a sleigh. we were mobile santa and his elf. [ laughter ] and we -- we'd be like, "hello, j. crew, ho ho ho! merry christmas, sephora, how is everyone doing?"
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and they got so sick of us by the fourth weekend, "hi, santa." but we would walk around, we'd take -- say hi to people. this one time, talking to these two kids who had come very -- very little kids. we looked up. and the dad was kevin costner. and he was trying to keep a low profile. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> and they were climbing on this little sculpture that was like a little coyote, wolf thing. they were kind of playing on it. as santa i said, "oh, you children sure love that little coyote." and kattan couldn't help himself, "it looks like they're dancing. in fact, it looks like they're dancing with wolves." [ laughter ] kevin costner is like -- "let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go." i'm like, dude, what are you doing? couldn't help it. >> jimmy: will ferrell is here. [ cheers and applause ] the spirit of christmas. [ c(vo) and applause ] theafter fifteen years of the we'share the love event,
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subaru and our retailers have donated over two hundred and fifty million dollars to charity. in fact, subaru is the largest corporate donor to the aspca... ...and the national park foundation. and the largest automotive donor to meals on wheels... ...and make-a-wish. get a new subaru during the share the love event and subaru and our retailers will donate three hundred dollars to charity. here we go, y'all. we're going ice skating. you got it chuck, come on, come on. ♪ cheerful holiday music ♪ who's going to be first? okay. [overlapping chatter and laughing] ♪ [laughing]
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hey, uh that memory in the hospital, that, uh -- that's what we call a kicker. it's a -- it's a key moment that has to be faced in order to, you know, effect any real change -- >> what are all these pictures of my executive vp doing up here? >> just, you know -- research. >> do you photoshop yourself into this one? >> did i? i don't think so. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, we're back with will ferrell. that is his movie "spirited." it is a -- another holiday film. >> yeah. >> jimmy: musical comedy. kind of based on the -- >> on "the christmas carol," yeah, i play the ghost of christmas present. and it's -- it's a full-on -- we're singing and dancing. >> jimmy: yeah, your really doing all the singing and all the dancing. >> we had to rehearse for seven weeks. and it was one of the hardest but most fun things i've ever gotten to do.
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>> jimmy: you are helping ryan's character, not ryan himself -- >> no. but i'm often helping ryan. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> in life. yeah. >> jimmy: you're trying to save his soul, yes? >> yes, yeah. it -- and he's the one, you know -- usually we pick someone and we show them the errors of their ways. and they wake up christmas morning going, i'll change. he's the first one to question everything we're doing. and i start questioning the process. with the way the world is, is this even making a difference? and that's kind of the thrust. >> jimmy: do canadians even have souls? we don't know. >> exactly, we don't know. [ laughter ] i mean, other than ryan, if you pointed to a canadian, i wouldn't even know how to describe a canadian, i don't know what they look like. yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: have you ever seen a ghost? have you experienced a ghost in any capacity? >> you know what, i have a weird fact -- i've never seen a ghost. i would love -- i'd be afraid to see a ghost. >> jimmy: me too. >> yeah, i would kind of like to see a ghost. but i don't want to.
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[ laughter ] but i kind of would like to. and i was -- i was working in new orleans once. living in kind of an older house. new orleans, one of the most haunted cities in america. >> jimmy: that's what they say, yeah. probably the most. >> probably number one. either the top five. new orleans, savannah, georgia, and burbank. [ laughter ] right? i think burbank's number three. anyway. we were shooting -- someone on set was telling a ghost story. they were living in -- also the house they were renting out, they were trying to fall asleep. all of a sudden they heard a voice, clear as day that just said, "i'm sorry." it freaked them. they were like, who is that, what? and i was like, chris why did you tell me that story? i have to go home alone tonight to this big house with four bedrooms and it creaks and it was built in the 1820s and -- so i was so freaked out walking
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home, or walking into the house, that i got into the front door and i said to no one, "not now!" [ laughter ] and what i meant -- >> jimmy: what? >> was for any potential ghost, if you're about to haunt me, not now. [ laughter ] i can't. i can't handle it. which started to make me laugh. as if the ghosts are like, "oh, let's get him -- "not now." "aww, come on!" [ laughter ] "call it off, get him tomorrow." >> jimmy: be great if the ghost said, "i'm sorry." >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's a canadian ghost for you right there apologizing to people. >> always apologizing. >> tracy morgan is in this movie with you. kin of. >> yes. >> jimmy: in spirit, largely. >> he's the voice of christmas future. >> jimmy: he's the voice of christmas future but the body of christmas future is a 7-foot-tall man. >> yes. >> jimmy: who's a basketball player? >> right, right, right. so tracy does -- yeah. hilarious doing the voice.
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>> jimmy: is tracy there at all? >> half a day, yeah. >> jimmy: okay. >> and in fact, there's kind of a scene towards the end of the movie where his daughter was there playing a small part. so he came, you know, chaperoned her, hung around set. told stories, talked about me in third person, as i was sitting there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: to you? >> to me and to everyone else. and talked about how -- he was like, "i watched cowbell, i was there, i talk it happen." and everyone was like -- "we believe you." >> jimmy: it was on tv. >> "i know you were there, we were on the show together." [ laughter ] "we were there at the same time. i saw you watching me do that sketch." tracy's the best. >> jimmy: it is wonderful to see you. thank you for coming. >> thank you. >> jimmy: merry christmas, happy
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holidays, all that stuff. the great will ferrell, everybody. see the movie with ryan reynolds. it's called "spirited." you can see it on apple tv plus. we'll be back with colson baker! there is nothing glamorous about migraines. since i was a teenager the pain has taken me away from my family and friends. but i finally found relief with nurtec odt it's the only medication that can treat my migraine right when it strikes and prevent my next attack. treat and prevent all in one. don't take if allergic to nurtec. most common side effects, in less than 3%, were nausea, indigestion/stomach pain. with quick dissolving nurtec i can get back to normal fast and prevent my next attack. treat & prevent - all in one. she is fearless heart's on the line depend silhouette keeping leaks off her mind. comfortable in shapeware fabric she moves with ease. confident on nights like these. depend silhouette. the only thing stronger than us, is you.
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♪ he's a writer and a hoarder ♪ ♪ his work space is in disorder ♪ ♪ sit right back this man gets scary ♪ ♪ it's show and tell with gary ♪ >> that's me!
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this right here, this is a holiday item. it's a santa wine bottle holder. but if you take the wine bottle out, it's a lot less festive. [ laughter ] even though i'm jewish, i feel badly. ♪ it's show and tell with gary ♪ >> i'm gary! >> lou: tomorrow on "jimmy kimmel live" -- jean smart, wes bentley, and music from charley crockett. that's tomorrow on "jimmy kimmel live!."
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♪ >> jimmy: well, we are back. we have music from the linda lindas on the way. our next guest is a multi-tatted, multi-platinum recording artist and actor. his new movie "taurus" is on demand now. please say hello to grammy nominee machine gun kelly, aka colson baker. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: very good to see you. i have to tell you something. this colson baker thing, we've invested a lot of time, all of us, in getting to know you as machine gun kelly. now you're acting -- i guess it's -- i don't know. i don't know, lady gaga, you're pulling the rock on us is what you're doing. lady gaga has i think three oscars with the words "lady gaga" on them. >> i know. mine were less friendly than that, but yeah. yeah. there's that. there's the -- the nickname i had when i was bullied in the fourth grade. >> jimmy: right. >> which is cole slaw. >> jimmy: cole slaw, yeah. cole slaw, by the way, as far as mean nick names go, not that bad. really not too bad. >> you'd be surprised how much that tormented me in my 8-year-old mind. >> jimmy: i got kimmels and bits, a dog food commercial.
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>> that's good. why not. >> jimmy: it was kimmels and bit, kimmels and bits. i didn't like that either. i can understand that. at least you got human food. [ laughter ] hey, congratulations. i know you won an american music award. >> oh, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you won favorite rock artist for the second year in a row. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and maybe best of all, maybe even better than the award itself, is you got to sit next to lionel richie at the show. [ cheers and applause ] and that's quite an ensemble you have. how pointy are those things? >> they kept everyone -- everyone i loved couldn't show me any of their love. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's good for social distancing for sure. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: this is like the things they use to keep pigeons off the fence. [ laughter ] >> for sure. >> jimmy: you can also -- you really put lionel richie in danger here. [ laughter ] shish kebab lionel's eye there. >> yeah. i bet when we walked in -- none
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of us accounted for, like, having to sit down when we were, oh, let's make this crazy suit. i feel like the awards show was delayed five minutes just because the staff -- we got to the seat, the staff was like -- they looked at the seat, they looked at my outfit, they looked at my seat, they looked at my outfit. "i don't know, figure it out." it took me all this time. i saw lionel richie coming, i saw an empty seat, please don't make this man sit next to the stick suit. he came over, sat down. he, like, inspected it and touched it. then we were so close, like i was scared to clap for wayne brady. every time he made a joke i just looked like i was unentertained. [ laughter ] it was i didn't want to impale lionel richie. >> jimmy: remember the "hello" music video? or are you too -- >> oh, is that -- >> jimmy: the blind woman was touching his face? it could have been both, yeah. >> it reminds me of barney and "game of thrones" torture chamber, something.
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>> jimmy: with a little "sonic the hedgehog" thrown in for good measure. did you seek any advice from lionel? or did you guys just say hello? >> it was -- it's -- it was hard to get past the two feet iron spikes. >> jimmy: did you ask lionel if he would sing at your wedding? because that's a great opportunity. >> that's a great idea. i think now that we have that bond. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. maybe so. >> you know? >> jimmy: last time you were here, i think you and megan fox had just become engaged. >> uh-huh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you are still engaged. i assume in the planning stages wedding-wise? >> yeah, i'm signed of certifying my homeliness. >> jimmy: what do you mean, homeliness? you're a very attractive man. >> thank you. you are too. [ laughter ] like -- >> jimmy: homebody? >> yeah, like a relationship, you each have to come to each other's world. with mine she'll stay up until 8:00 a.m. while i smoke cigarettes and record music all day.
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with me, i see her struggling with dietary restrictions with restaurants or food. oh, maybe i'll learn how to cook for her. so i started taking up cooking. >> jimmy: what do you cook for her? >> she was talking about she really wanted gluten-free, coconut-free cinnamon rolls, buns, cinnamon buns. cinnamon rolls, buns? >> jimmy: there's both, yeah. >> i think these were -- rolls. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: rolls, okay. >> so i got the recipe down. i went to the store, got all the ingredients. and i'm making this huge commitment of cinnamon rolls. and then i get to the part in the instructions where, put them on a baking sheet. we just moved into this new house. i don't -- i didn't get -- i didn't get baking sheets. staplers. other things that you just don't think about. >> jimmy: you don't need staplers for cinnamon rolls. [ laughter ] >> okay, okay. >> jimmy: just want to tell you.
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>> i'm thinking home objects. >> jimmy: something has gone wrong in the recipe. >> right, right. so i go, oh, man, i don't have a baking sheet. i'm trying to think of who my neighbors are. we just discovered a new neighbor of ours, because we heard music one day. my daughter was like, who lives across the street? i was like, i don't know, they said they just moved in. we knocked on the door. michael b. jordan answers in his bathing suit, dripping wet, water, like "what's up, man?" "dude, you're my neighbor, that's crazy." so that popped in my head. i should just hit michael b. jordan up and ask for his baking sheet. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you do that? >> yes, i called him. he ignored the call and texted me, what's up, i'm on set, everything good? no, i'm trying to make megan these cinnamon rolls. [ laughter ] do you have a baking sheet? he's like, i'm not there but somebody's at my house, go get the baking sheet. we went and got the baking sheet, then i made the cinnamon rolls. then i presented the cinnamon rolls, gluten-free, coconut free, whatever else, all the free. she eats the cinnamon roll.
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she goes, "wow, this is really good." i eat the cinnamon roll, "this is so bad." [ laughter ] so she's like, i'm going to take the kids and go, you know, to the grocery store, something like that. by the time she gets back, i'm so ashamed of my cinnamon rolls that i throw them all away. >> jimmy: oh. >> and then she comes back, then all the kids come back, everyone's like "where are all these delicious cinnamon rolls we've heard about?" >> jimmy: they're in the garbage. >> they're in the garbage. still to this day, if anyone even brings up cinnamon -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is megan upset? >> she's still upset. even when we reviewed. "maybe we should talk about the cinnamon rolls." [ laughter ] greeted with like -- >> jimmy: i think that's a sign you made some really good cinnamon rolls. >> my last name is baker. >> jimmy: and your last name is baker. [ cheers ] it's in your blood. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i know you made this movie, "taurus." it is semi autobiographical
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movie. tell us a little bit about it. i'm curious to know what you're up to here. >> i think it's semi auto -- gee, that's a big one. give me the word. >> jimmy: semi autobiographical. i have a little trouble with it too. >> in the sense of? the lifestyle, almost the name, the image, et cetera. but it's the last week that a musician's alive, and it's kind of this haunting tale. but it's actually one of hope. the character i play is on one hand clearly traumatized from whatever his things were growing up. but then he is a good soul who wants to make the right choices. but -- you know. >> jimmy: it's hard. >> yeah. it's hard. >> jimmy: all right. we'll check it out. it's called "taurus." you can get on it demand. it is on demand now. "taurus." colson baker, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] machine gun kelly, call him whatever you want. we'll be back with the linda ou- lindas!
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>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by the "s" class from mercedes-benz. hey guys, detect this: living with hiv, i learned that i can stay undetectable with fewer medicines. that's why i switched to dovato. dovato is for some adults who are starting hiv-1 treatment or replacing their current hiv-1 regimen. detect this: no other complete hiv pill uses fewer medicines to help keep you undetectable than dovato. detect this: most hiv pills contain 3 or 4 medicines. dovato is as effective with just 2. research shows people who take hiv treatment as prescribed and get to and stay undetectable can no longer transmit hiv through sex.
12:33 am
don't take dovato if you're allergic to its ingredients, or if you take dofetilide. taking dovato with dofetilide can cause serious or life-threatening side effects. hepatitis b can become harder to treat while on dovato. don't stop dovato without talking to your doctor, as your hepatitis b may worsen or become life-threatening. serious or life-threatening side effects can occur, including allergic reactions, lactic acid buildup, and liver problems... if you have a rash or other allergic reaction symptoms, stop dovato and get medical help right away. tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems, or if you are, may be, or plan to be pregnant. dovato may harm your unborn baby. use effective birth control while on dovato. do not breastfeed while taking dovato. most common side effects are headache, nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping, tiredness, and anxiety. detect this: i stay undetectable with fewer medicines. ask your doctor about switching to dovato.
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>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes eq, all electric, all mercedes. >> jimmy: thanks to will ferrell and colson baker. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, with the song "groovy christmas," the linda lindas! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> one two three four. ♪ it's the merriest christmas i have seen nino's drinking water ♪ ♪ from the tree santa's moving at the speed of light ♪ ♪ how does he do it all in just one night will he bring me a ♪ ♪ sweet ax this year groovy christmas groovy christmas ♪ ♪ groovy christmas groovy christmas ♪ ♪ ♪ free tamales every day for
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weeks grandma leaving lipstick ♪ ♪ on my cheeks get some boba we'll hop in the van ♪ ♪ monica, where's my stocking, man someone's on the naughty ♪ ♪ list this year groovy christmas groovy christmas ♪ ♪ groovy christmas groovy christmas ♪ ♪ ♪ we'll all watch charlie brown's christmas and you're a mean one ♪ ♪ mister grinch same playlist every year mariah brings the cheer ♪ ♪ and pumpkin spice lattes are here groovy christmas ♪ ♪ groovy christmas groovy
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christmas groovy christmas ♪ ♪ groovy christmas groovy christmas we hope you have a ♪ ♪ fun and super duper groovy christmas ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, breaking news. harvey weinstein found guilty once again, this time in a los angeles courtroom. but what did the jury deadlock on? plus, nightclub nightmare. men who thought they were out for a fun night of partying in new york city waking up with their bank accounts empty. >> i didn't even remember anything. i was happy that i was alive. >> some even ending up dead. >> do you feel your son was murdered? >> yes, i do believe john was murdered. >> while the nypd tries to unravel the mystery. >> this is a modern twist on an old crime. >> are gay men in new york city being drugged and robbed after leaving with the wrongeo

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