cuteness. thank you for watching tonight. >> for all of us here, we appreciate your time. right now on jimmy kimmel >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonigh "jimmy kimmel live"!od, it's - tonight -- jennifer lopez. chris perfetti. and music from fall out boy. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. thank you, thank you. hi, everybody, how you doing? i'm jimmy, i am the host. thank you for watching, thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ]

you picked a great night to be here. jennifer lopez is with us. [ cheers and applause ] a lot of enthusiasm. here's how it works when jennifer lopez comes to our show. i pull up in the parking lot, there's a hundred photographers, i get out of the car, they do this -- [ laughter ] >> oh, what time does j. lo get here?" jenny shut down the whole block. hollywood boulevard is closed for the premiere of her new movie "shotgun wedding" across the street. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know why this section of the audience is still standing. sit down, for god's sake. at church they tell you to sit down, here you're just supposed to do it. [ laughter ] president biden is heading to california tomorrow to visit the areas that were affected by the -- >> guillermo: here, jimmy. >> jimmy: what is this? >> guillermo: it's for you. >> jimmy: oh, i have some breaking news. oh, some sad breaking news. the oldest person in the world, french nun named sister andre, has died.

sister andre was 118 years old. and she will be missed. that's very sad. but congratulations to the world's new oldest person, a winemaker from argentina named manuel paso, he is 116. he turns 117 next week. yeah? >> guillermo: this is for you too, one more. >> jimmy: oh, wow, i'm getting some more sad news. argentinian winemaker manuel paso -- [ laughter ] -- has just died peacefully in his sleep just shy of his 117th birthday. he lived a long and meaningful life. he was loved by so many. congratulations to edith cornwall of quebec, 115 years young, full of life. [ applause ] we offer you our congratulations -- >> guillermo: this is for you too. >> jimmy: wait, what is this? >> guillermo: it's a drawing of a turkey. you know, i forgot to give to it you for thanksgiving. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: thank you very much. maybe after the show would have been better. >> guillermo: oh, okay.

can i hug j. lo? >> jimmy: get back to your spot. [ laughter ] leave j. lo alone. [ cheers and applause ] in washington, it's committee assignment week in the house of representatives. the focus has been on a colorful new member named george santos. george santos, despite being exposed as a fraud -- this guy has an almost-comical list of lies to his name -- was assigned to not one but two committees. new speaker kevin mccarthy put him on the science committee and the space & technology committee, which makes sense because he's the only congressman who found a cure for cancer, and successfully manned a mission to mars. all this year alone. george's former roommate was on cnn last night. it's always a bad sign when your former roommate is on cnn. never a positive. where he alleged that his old pal was, on top of everything else, a scarf thief. >> santos stole something from you? >> yes, many times.

i noticed a burberry shirt and scarf were missing. my best friend, danielle, had given it to me on the anniversary of my grandfather's passing. it was more of a sentimental value. >> i understand he was wearing something he took from you at a pre-january 6th rally in washington? is that the scarf? >> tubal dibl this, he has the audacity, yes. >> wait a minute, lee he's wearing the scarf? >> a stolen scarf to a steal the election rally. >> jimmy: oh, hey, what's the problem? stealing was the theme of the rally. [ laughter ] of course the burberry bandit is on the loose! [ applause ] and while pinching your buddy's scarf might not be a capital offense, raising money for and then keeping money from a gofundme intended for a sick dog -- well, that's a ticket straight to hell.

>> what was he hatching gofundmes for back then? >> they had a pet charity, friends of pets united. it was supposedly to help out with sick animals, things like that. there's actually just an article released about how he conned a homeless military vet out of $3,000 for his service dog. >> jimmy: his roommate says he conned a homeless veteran out of money intended to save his service dog, which had to be put to sleep. you check every box with that one, that's for sure. he's been accused of stealing from a dog. he's literally a scooby doo villain at this point. [ laughter ] and he's in congress. the roommate also said santos told him he used a jewish sounding name -- zebrowski -- for the gofundme, because he thought it would encourage jewish people to donate more. and it turns out george santos may not even be his real name. he's gone by a number of names including george santos, anthony devolder, anthony zebrowski, ll cool g, supreme court justice george bader ginsberg, george costantos, melania, malala, madonna, and king george batman santos-clooney. [ laughter ] he's also, according to a

reporter who works for nbc, he was also a drag queen in brazil in the red there who went by the name kitara ravache. [ cheers ] i don't know what his real name is, all i know is he's beautiful, and he's going to make a pretty damn fine president of the united states. meanwhile, donald trump workshopped some new material today on his imaginary social media platform, where he's got a nw excuse for why he had 16 boxes of secret documents lying around mar-a-lago. "the fake news media and crooked democrats, that's been proven, keep saying i had a large number of documents in order to make the biden classified docs look less significant. when i was in the oval office, or elsewhere, and papers were distributed to groups of people and me, they would often be in a striped paper folder with classified or confidential or or another word on them. when the session was over, they would collect the papers but not the folders, and i saved hundreds of them." i think that's a confession, by the way. [ laughter ] "remember, these were just ordinary, inexpensive folders

with various words printed on them, but they were a cool keepsake." oh. why didn't you say that in the first place? if we'd known they were a cool keepsake, i'm sure hiding them in a bucket of chicken would have been fine! [ laughter ] [ applause ] i'm sure that will hold up in court no problem. "your honor, it's not a felony, it's scrapbooking." then he wrote -- "perhaps the gestapo took some of these empty folders when they raided mar-a-lago and counted them as a document, which they are not. it's also possible that trump-hating marxist thugs in charge will plant documents while they're in possession of the material. as president, and based on the presidential records act and socks case, i did nothing wrong, joe did." [ laughter ] this is how my 5-year-old complains, "i did nothing wrong, jane did!" [ laughter ] can't he ever just post something like "happy national french toast day"? [ laughter ] i mean, really. trump will be in fayetteville, north carolina, this weekend, hairlining a memorial event to celebrate the life of one of his bigliest supporters who recently

passed away. >> please join us on saturday, january 21st, in fayetteville, north carolina, she loved that state and so do i. as we celebrate the life of diamond. she lived it in a credible way, and we're going to have a wonderful celebration and ceremony. all of diamond's families and silk, we love silk. her sister, she loved her sister so much, and they loved each other. and they really loved the world. they were with me from the beginning, and they never wavered. so we're going to celebrate silk. we'll be there, i'll be there, we're going to celebrate the life of diamond. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what i wouldn't give to be at that memorial service. how long you think he'll talk about diamond before he starts talking about donald trump? i say four minutes of how much diamond loved him followed by 85 minutes of how much he loves himself. [ laughter ]

twitter, elon musk is trying to recoup some of his massive losses he's incurred by selling office supplies. for real. they're holding an auction, selling all their stuff. today is the last day to bid on high-quality items from twitter headquarters. like this desk with a twitter employee sleeping under it. you could get a pool table with a twitter employee sleeping on it. there's a special crying table for sale. [ laughter ] there's a six-foot statue of the twitter bird. and this 40-inch monitor. elon i think took this picture himself, if you zoom in -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, he's selling his clothes too. are we sure elon musk is a genius? because he seems to have turned twitter into radio shack. [ laughter ] speaking of random items, there's a thread on reddit called "what is this thing?" it's great. people post photos of weird items they find, then strangers write in, helping them solve the mystery of what the strange deposits are. it's fun, so we decided to make it a game. we took real photos from reddit

and went out onto hollywood boulevard to see if strangers walking by could help identify them. it's time to play "what is this thing?" all right. take a good look. try to figure out what it is. now we'll find out what people on the street think. >> what is this thing? >> put it in the ground, grab the weed. >> a weed plucker? >> it's for shishkabobs. >> some type of dildo as well, probably. >> a dildo? >> yes, some type of dildo, it could be. >> looks like a knife with a tail on it. there's some kind of release device here. because i can see it coming down, kind of like a pair of vise grips. clamp it together, releases, lets it pop. it takes the inner layer of the fruit, opens it up, breaks it down so you can pull it out, possibly pour it into something, make a margarita with it or something. you've got to admit, coconut, that's a solid shell on them. people have died from them falling, right?

more people die from that than shark attacks. other countries, they fall asleep at the bottom of a coconut tree, coconut falls, hits them in the head, game over. >> to corral you into an answer here, it's a device to bore a hole into a coconut to get the milk out? something like that? >> i'm thinking something like that. >> jimmy: oh, all right. [ laughter ] guy has an active imagination. [ applause ] let's see if one of his 10 answers is right. is it a weed plucker, a shishkabob skewer, a dildo, a coconut milk extractor? what do you think? let's find out what it is. >> it's a cranial perforator for draining fluid from a baby's head. >> oh, that is so much worse than i expected. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: not if you're a baby with a head full of fluid, it isn't. all right, here's the next item. what is this thing? look at that, and let's see what the pedestrians say. >> it's like a container for cyanide pills for spies. >> some kind of musical instrument?

>> a musical instrument? >> i'm going to go with a toy of some sort. like a video game, but old. >> an old video game. what is this thing? >> that rope is interesting. because it looks like you'd put the end of the lanyard through the loop and then pull it. see, i looked at it -- i see these screws, i'm thinking it's screwed into a piece of wood. it very well may not be. but when you pick it up, it's going to invert itself. you're going to get a reverse angle out of it. >> what do you use -- what is it? what would you use it for? what is this thing? >> honestly, there's probably 10, 20 different ways of doing it probably easier. maybe grabs another box. then you could take this blue box here that's hinged, fold it up, put it in your pocket or move on to the next one. >> you think it's a box holder? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: don't sit next to mike on the plane, i guess. all right. what do you think, is it a spy cyanide pill case, musical instrument, old video game, or box holder? all right, let's find out what the answer is. >> this is a razor blade sharpener.

>> well, i just -- a little embarrassed, actually. i think, you know -- again, you look at something in five different ways, you get five different answers. >> jimmy: maybe even ten sometimes. [ laughter ] mike is good. let's see one more. what is this thing? what is that thing? all right, let's go back to the street. >> what this is thing? >> is it a laser? >> use it to draw straight lines with? >> some kind of optometrist device? >> you grab this thing, it's got a handle on it, looks like some magnets with a strap. i'm estimating that thing goes on a wall. you look at the way they all are. that baby's going to go on a wall. grab that, put on it, boom, now it's on. the problem is, that thing's aiming towards the ground, what good is that? some kind of detection device. what would you use it for? could it shoot something? i don't know, why would you want to shoot something? i see this here -- looks like something takes a little impact. shock absorbing going on. or is that truly a handle to grab ahold it? suction cup to it the window?

>> mike, come on. >> this is a counterweight, a battery pack in the back. they spin this thing around. count the traffic, the foot traffic coming in and out of your store. beam it across the street here, you'd never know it. how fast are cars going by? could be combination radar -- >> radar detector? >> yeah, radar detector. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. is it a laser, a straight-line drafting tool, optometry device, or detection device/gun/foot traffic counter/radar detector? [ laughter ] lock in your votes, and let's find out. >> would you like to know what it is? >> yes. >> that's an automatic dildo machine, mike. >> that's -- [ laughter ] automatic dildo machine? >> all right, look, you have a mechanical mind. how does that operate? >> well. that baby -- that -- >> go ahead, walk us through it, now that you know what it is. >> that baby's going to be vibrating around in there. >> yeah. >> and -- yeah.

[ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right, i think we need to sit mike down and give him the talk. thank you, mike. that's the educational part of our show tonight. thanks for playing "what is this thing?" [ cheers and applause ] we have a fun one for you tonight. from "abbott elementary," chris perfetti is here. we've got music from fall out boy. and we'll be back with jennifer lopez.

>> jimmy: tonight, from "abbott elementary" here on abc, chris perfetti is with us. then later, they just announced today their new album "so much for stardust" comes out march 24th. fall out boy from the mercedes benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, we have a good show.

we'll be joined by the cast of "80 for brady" -- lily tomlin, jane fonda, rita moreno, and sally field, and jacob latimore too. i tell you something, if you've ever longed to see our first guest tonight brandishing a heavy-caliber firearm, wearing a perfectly torn bridal gown, you are in luck. her new action-comedy, "shotgun wedding," premieres january 27th on amazon prime video. please welcome jennifer lopez. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: i wonder if you realize how much excitement there is before you show up at a place. >> i really don't. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i'm happy! [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> jimmy: got a lot of rings on.

>> i do. >> jimmy: congratulations on your love. >> yeah! [ cheers and applause ] i got married, yes. >> jimmy: it was, what, the six-month anniversary of your first wedding ceremony in las vegas, because you guys had one in vegas, then another at a waffle house, right? >> yeah. [ laughter ] no, we were planning to get married, you know, in august, in savannah. that was, like, the family's going to be there, everybody is going to be there. it was so stressful. and a month before -- and i don't know if you guys know this, but 20 years ago we were supposed to get married. >> jimmy: i heard that, i read that, yeah. [ laughter ] >> and it kind of all fell apart back then. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> and this time, we still had -- i absolutely did, had a little ptsd. is this happening? is this really happening? we were so happy, and of course it was happening, but i just felt like -- the wedding was so stressful.

and one day ben just says, [ bleep ] it, let's just go to vegas and get married tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it was that day? >> that day. >> jimmy: wow. >> we had had a big wedding planning meeting, and it was like, no, we can't get married in savannah. they're like, you shouldn't do it there, maybe we should go to italy. you don't want to do it in the states. i was like, no, that's where i want to do it. and it just was like -- we hung up the phone, and i was like, this is crazy, what are we doing? he was like, you know what? >> jimmy: get on the spirit airlines flight right to vegas. [ laughter ] >> i had rehearsal for my show. and he was like, "go to rehearsal, when you get back here, i'm going to have everything all set up." >> jimmy: wow. >> three of our kids were at camp, two of them were with us. he's like, "they're going to be our witnesses, let's go, we're doing it tonight." and we did. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it seems like it was the right decision. >> it was amazing. it was amazing, it was the best night of our lives. >> jimmy: you mentioned being

engaged 20 years previously. >> yes. >> jimmy: does there have to be another engagement ring? i mean, is there ever -- >> yeah, he has to ask me again. >> jimmy: had to ask you again. >> yeah. [ applause ] yes, yes. i didn't have that one anymore. >> jimmy: do you like the name bennifer? is that something you like or dislike? >> i've learned to embrace it. i think years ago it was kind of like, oh, bennifer. actually, it wasn't a bad thing even years ago, but i think people -- it became a thing where people made fun of it. then it continued throughout the years. other people were doing it. >> jimmy: i think "aflo" is good too. [ laughter ] kind of sounds like afro. or if you want to be first, it could be loaf. [ laughter ] >> don't like that as much, doesn't have a ring to it. >> jimmy: you guys got married at the little white wedding chapel, which i'm very familiar with, i'm from las vegas. >> did you get married there? >> jimmy: i didn't get married there but i grew up in vegas. one of the famous things, joan collins and michael jordan were married there.

they weren't married to each other. [ laughter ] for some reason they put their names. >> funny, there's a pink cadillac there. when i came back, i was working on this album. and when i came back from -- we came back from getting married that weekend. i wrote a whole song about that and that pink cadillac is in the song. it's a really good song called "midnight trip to vegas." >> jimmy: i have bad news for you. there's already a song called "pink cadillac." >> no, i worked in the experience of getting married at that chapel. >> jimmy: oh, wow, okay. did you guys like -- were they all set up for you. were there other people getting married there when you got married? >> it's very funny, you have to get the license first and the whole thing. we were standing at -- not the dmv, but whatever, the county clerk's office. just standing there, ben's standing there. there's this couple in front of us with a baby. then there's a gay couple behind us. we were in line with them at 10 to midnight, like we went at the last, last minute. >> jimmy: wow.

>> and everybody was kind of chill, you know. nobody was freaking out or anything. they were talking to us, "hey, what are you doing here?" "we're getting married!" it didn't get out until later the next day, it was a lot fun. we went to the chapel, they were waiting for us, they knew we were coming. they're like, somebody's coming at midnight, can you stay open? they're like, yes, we'll stay open until midnight. do you need elvis? no, we don't need the elvis. [ laughter ] whoever's there who can legally marry us, that's great. they're like, great, we can't get elvis out of bed right now. [ laughter ] hear in las vegas.ce you only - "do you need elvis?" [ laughter ] >> no, we're good. >> jimmy: in georgia you had your real -- >> the whole family a month later. >> jimmy: i want you to know something. it was incorrectly reported that i was at your wedding. >> was it? >> jimmy: yes. then everyone i know texted me, you guys were at the wedding, what's going on? no, we were not at the wedding. i wanted to ask, why were we not at the wedding?

[ laughter ] [ applause ] >> i could say the same thing. aren't you and ben really good friends? >> jmy: that's what i thought, yeah. [ laughter ] ben was certainly at my wedding. i'm wondering if -- >> was >> jimmy: yes, he was. i'm wondering if maybe matt damon had something to do with it? [ laughter ] >> possible. >> jimmy: is it possible he suppressed my invitation to the wedding? >> it's possible. i don't know, i'll get into it later. >> jimmy: thank you. okay, good. >> i'll find out, get to the bottom of it, get back to you. >> jimmy: i appreciate that. i'm glad it wasn't you that said, "no, no, he's not coming to the wedding." >> "not jimmy kimmel." >> jimmy: and rather, it was ben. i guess that's worse, in a way, thinking about it. either way, i wasn't at the wedding. >> they you were blaming me the whole time? >> jimmy: i thought, yeah, i assumed, must be you. >> everything is blamed on me. >> jimmy: i figured there was a list and you're like, yes, no, no, and i was on the no list. >> kimmel, no way. >> jimmy: i did get you a little something. [ applause ] it's not a big thing. but i know you guys, you didn't

register or anything like that. >> no, we didn't register. >> jimmy: that's for you. i hope it's something that you don't have. but i do think it's something that you guys will use. >> we will use the dunkin' donuts. [ applause ] >> jimmy: sterling silver or something like that from dunkin' donuts, bride and groom. >> ben will love it. >> yes, i figured he's got -- i know he's got a little bit of a habit of going to dunkin' donuts. please share that with him. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: and tell him i said hi. >> i will. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the album, i want to talk about -- and the song, because the album -- didn't you say what the album title is? or is that a secret? >> it's called "this is me now." i did an album 20 years ago that was obviously -- had a song called "dear ben" on it. that was about the time me and ben were together then. and i got very inspired when we got back together. it was kind of like a miracle. something that neither one of us really ever thought would happen. and i went into the studio, and i wrote an album in two months, boom, done.

and i have it and i'm prepping it to come out now. >> jimmy: is that a lot of pressure on ben? you go and you write a song about him? >> it's hard to be the muse, i guess, in a way. >> jimmy: what do i do now, write a movie about jen? what am i supposed to do? >> not necessary, not necessary. it's just -- that's how i expressed myself. >> jimmy: i don't know what the -- >> i'm very, very excited for everybody to hear it. >> there's a "dear ben part 2" on your new album. >> yes, there is. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't have those lyrics. "dear ben part 1," your lyrics were "you're perfect, i can't control myself." >> i can't. >> jimmy: "i can't be with no one else." >> nope. >> jimmy: "i'm addicted to the way you touch me." >> yes. >> jimmy: "i don't think they understand why i love your command." >> "i love at your command." no, it's just a sexy song. i was younger then. i felt those lyrics were really innocent. this album is 20 years older, so are we. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the new song, "ben, get your hawaiian shirts out of the closet."

>> "why are you hanging out at dunkin' donuts?" >> jimmy: "enough with the frappuccinos." jennifer lopez is here. [ cheers and applause ] her new movie is "shotgun wedding." we'll be right back. opez is here. "shotgun wedding" is her movie. we'll be right back. used to reduce the risk of hiv without daily prep pills. with one shot every other month, just 6 times a year. in studies, apretude was proven superior to a daily prep pill in reducing the risk of hiv. you must be hiv negative to receive apretude and get tested before each injection. if you think you were exposed to hiv or have flu-like symptoms, tell your doctor right away. apretude does not prevent other sexually transmitted infections. practice safer sex to reduce your risk. don't take apretude if you're allergic to or taking certain medicines, as they may interact. tell your doctor if you've had liver problems or mental health concerns. if you have a rash or other allergic reactions, stop apretude and get medical help

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in las vegas, the most popular food is broccoli. yeah, that's the only food. they have broccoli smoothies, and broccoli pancakes, and broccoli ice cream, and broccoli hotdogs, and of course, they have raw unseasoned broccoli..... with stems. -daddy, i don't want to go to las vegas with you and mommy tomorrow. oh, are you sure? are you sure you don't want to go, it will be so much fun! oh, oh! no! >> oh, oh! >> cliff! >> i see it!

get it into park! oh my god! >> the dress, my dress! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's jennifer lopez and josh duhamel in "shotgun wedding" which is -- i'm going to tell you something -- >> you know what i was most nervous about watching that? my kids are going to see this tonight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your kids are going to love this movie. >> they're teenagers. >> jimmy: honestly this movie -- i'm always leery about a movie that has the word "wedding" in the title in general. >> i've done a few. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's really funny and really good. >> thank you. >> jimmy: who directed this movie? >> thank you. who directed? jason moore. >> jimmy: he did a great job. >> he's amazing, yeah. he did "pitch perfect." we had a great time working together, amazing time. it was a lot of fun. >> jimmy: so many great actors in this. >> oh my gosh, the cast is out of this world. >> jimmy: the cast is great.

>> yeah, it has josh duhamel, obviously, as you saw. [ cheers ] who i love, he's amazing. >> jimmy: he is really good. >> it has cheech. >> jimmy: cheech marin, yeah. >> sonia vergara, jennifer coolidge. >> jimmy: she's hilarious in this movie. >> it really is funny. we've got amazing actor-comedians in this. >> jimmy: jennifer coolidge is -- >> on fire. right now? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she is on fire for sure. i don't even know where jennifer coolidge begins and ends. >> i know. >> jimmy: she's just so funny and odd and kind of the same in everything, but kills in every scene. was she, like, nutty and funny while you were shooting? >> you expect it, because she's so hilarious, like she's going to come over and just be funny right away, right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> but it's kind of like how her characters are, where she's like, there, and you're like, is she trying to be funny?

or is she not being funny? you don't know to laugh or not to laugh. when you see it later it's hilarious, "i should have laughed." [ laughter ] it's this weird -- almost like andy kaufman. something where it's like -- it's life and funny and -- >> jimmy: you don't know if it's a character or -- >> where it begins and ends, it's brilliant, she's brilliant. >> jimmy: will she be at the premiere tonight? >> yes. >> jimmy: the whole cast? >> the whole cast is at the premiere. i can't wait to see it with an audience. that is the type of movie -- you want to see comedies with an audience. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah -- what's that? do you guys hear something? [ helicopter sounds ] >> jimmy: what is that? something is occurring on the roof of our building. guillermo, would you mind going to see what is happening there? >> oh my gosh! >> jimmy: oh my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: how are you? >> did i mention lenny kravitz is in the movie? >> jimmy: i don't think you mentioned lenny kravitz. [ cheers and applause ] lenny is very funny in the movie. how are you? >> good to see you. >> jimmy: good to see you too. what's happening? >> the premiere of "shotgun wedding" is tonight. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> it is tonight. >> i came to invite the entire audience. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh my gosh! yes, yes, yes! >> jimmy: very generous. >> the chopper's waiting. >> we have to go, the chopper's waiting. >> jimmy: lenny kravitz! [ cheers and applause ] "shotgun wedding" premieres january 27th on amazon prime video. we'll be back with chris perfetti.

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>> jimmy: we're back. music from fall out boy is on

the way. our next guest plays the delightfully awkward history teacher, jacob hill, on the award-winning sitcom "abbott elementary." you can see it wednesday nights here on abc. please welcome chris perfetti. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: fortunately the audience didn't leave with j. lo. [ laughter ] you guys will go with her later? >> i met her, jimmy, i'm buzzing. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you met her? >> i met her. i was just pacing back and forth back there. >> jimmy: were you? >> "what if there's a moment where i see her?" i not only saw her, i touched her. [ cheers ] i smelled her. >> jimmy: she does smell really good. >> and i can't feel my legs right now. if that woman knew how many times i have seen the movie "selena." [ cheers ] i think she would exithe

bu we're pr il iia. glyabngo arhe that you watched "selena"? is that really true? how many times have you seen the movie? >> oh, countless. i mean, 20 -- >> jimmy: really? >> i may not be street smart, but at least i know not to be that dumb. hello. she's an icon. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. you guys at "abbott elementary" have had such a great week, really. you won a golden globe, you won the critics' choice award. [ cheers and applause ] you were nominated for a critics' choice award. >> people liked our acting. people like our acting, and they're inviting us to their parties. it's very cool. >> jimmy: it's fun, right? >> yeah, yeah. i'm having a blast. i live in brooklyn. i like to party. brooklyn is one big party for me. we shoot our show on a very small, kind of humble, two-stage set. and so to go to these things, you know, where everybody you've

ever seen is right in front of you, everybody looks so amazing. it's like disneyland. i'm -- i'm having a blast. >> jimmy: it must be crazy that you were nominated in the same category as henry winkler, who was fonzie, who was the biggest star on television before you were born. >> is it crazy? [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's totally wild. there's nobody i'd rather lose to than henry winkler. >> jimmy: he's the nicest guy, and he's a huge fan of your show too. >> oh, man. yeah, yeah. i feel that. he said that to me a few times. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> rige ar hd, hwothe came up tour table and hequrely lhte generous person. i have a slight hunch he's kind of fishing for his next job. not to toot our own horn. [ laughter ] people kind of want to be on our show now. and he's a smart guy. you know, he's a consummate businessman, professional.

he's been doing this awhile. so i think he -- >> jimmy: you're so jaded already. >> he can only go for so long. >> jimmy: you're so jaded already. there's no way henry winkler is being insincere with you. you've been in brooklyn too long, that's the problem. >> yeah. >> jimmy: does your family still live in brooklyn? >> no, my people are way upstate near canada. i have like a six-hour radius rule. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: gotcha. you're italian, right? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i have a picture from the critics' choice awards. you're with with lisa ann walter. actually, not with her. rather, photobombing lisa ann walter. [ laughter ] what was happening there? >> that is a picture of a man having a series of small strokes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why? >> directly behind two very famous people. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> you know -- we -- i see lisa every -- god, she looks so amazing. i see lisa every day, but the function of our show is that we're in, you know, sweat pants and flannel shirts. i think genuinely our cast is

interested in fashion. we love to party, as i said. we love to turn a look. so when i was walking down the carpet and i saw her, i was completely stupefied. >> jimmy: because she was dressed up more than you're used to seeing her? >> yes, she looks amazing, yeah. yeah, and i just love them all. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i feel like -- >> jimmy: who do you love most on the cast? [ laughter ] lisa ann cooks for you, right? isn't that true? >> lisa is an incredible cook. >> jimmy: we've discussed this actually, yeah. >> yeah, i'm sure she probably showed you pictures of food that she's cooked. she'll pull up pictures of food that she's cooked. and i'm actually interested. like you said, i'm italian. she's an impeccable cook. i don't think my grandmother, my italian grandmother, is watching. this is too late for her. but the meatballs, the lisa ann walter meatballs, rival grandma's very, very closely. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> and i don't eat that kind of

stuff in real life. if i go to an italian restaurant, it's like, anybody who knows -- you don't really order sauce. because it's not going to be as good as grandma's. >> jimmy: at home, yeah. >> and lisa's is profoundly good. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> she's always cooking for us. she's really the mother of our show in many ways. and very talented. >> you're working on a play right now, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: tell us what the play is about. because i love this idea. >> the play is called "king james." it's kind of this -- this epic tale of friendship. it's just another actor and myself. and it tracks these two guys over the course of lebron james' career. and it's kind of where their friendship is over 12 years. so you see kind of every facet of a friendship you can. you see them hurt each other, you see them love each other, you see them betray each other. and -- >> jimmy: all within the framework of lebron james' career? >> yes.

it mimics the four quarters of a basketball game. and -- and yeah, you see the day that they meet, and 12 years later. >> jimmy: is lebron involved in this at all? does he know about this? is he producing this? >> i don't know, he probably does now. [ laughter ] thanks a lot. no, but -- i think it's, you know -- i've spent the last ten years, you know, having the real privilege to do incredible plays on and off broadway in new york. that's how i got my start. that is my one true love. and this play, "king james," is really at the top of that list. it's an impeccable new play. and i hope lebron will see it, i hope everybody will see it. >> jimmy: you've got to invite lebron to come see it for sure. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: tell him there will be meatballs. maybe, you know -- maybe he'll enjoy those. it's very good to see you. you're very funny on the show, the show is fantastic. it's called "abbott elementary." if you haven't seen it, it airs

wednesday nights 9:00 right here on abc. or watch the whole thing on hulu. chris perfetti, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with fall out boy! >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by the "s" class from mercedes-benz. class from h mercedes-benz.

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>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the all-electric mercedes-benz lineup is here. >> jimmy: all right, well, thanks to the jennifer lopez, increase perfetti, and lenny kravitz too. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next but first, their album "so much for stardust," it comes out march 24th. here with the song "love from the other side," fall out boy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ modelouse life meltdown still a modern dream let down ♪ ♪ it kills me

you know i'm dying out here what would you trade the pain for ♪ ♪ i'm not sure we were a hammer to the statue of david ♪ ♪ we were a painting you could never frame and you were the sunshine of my lifetime ♪ ♪ what would you trade the pain for ♪ ♪ this city always hangs a little bit lonely on me loose like a kid ♪ ♪ playing pretend in his father's suit ♪ ♪ i'd never go i just want to be invited oh ♪ ♪ got to give up get the feeling don't fight it fight it ♪ ♪ sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse ♪ ♪ and i just about snapped don't look back every lover's got a little dagger in their hand ♪ ♪ sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse ♪ ♪ and i just about snapped

don't look back dagger in their hand ♪ttle- ♪ ♪ generation sleep i'm falling in and out of love ♪ ♪ i'm getting that tilted feeling out here what would you trade the pain for i'm not sure ♪ ♪ nowhere left for us to go but heaven summer falling through our fingers again ♪ ♪ and you were the sunshine of my lifetime what would you trade the pain for ♪ ♪ i'd never go i just want to be invited oh ♪ ♪ got to give up get the feeling don't fight it fight it ♪ ♪ sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse ♪ ♪ and i just about snapped don't look back

every lover's got a little dagger in their hand ♪ ♪ sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse ♪ ♪ and i just about snapped don't look back every lover's got a little dagger in their hand ♪ ♪ i saw you i bright clear field hurricane heat in my head the kind of pain you feel ♪ ♪ to get good in the end good in the end inscribed like stone and faded by the rain ♪ ♪ give up what you love give up what you love before it does you in ♪ ♪ sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse ♪ ♪ and i just about snapped don't look back every lover's got a little dagger in their hand ♪ ♪ love sending my love ♪ ♪

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, airtag stalking. the helpful tech and how some are using it in nefarious ways. this swimsuit model says she was tracked. >> home alone on a dark street by myself, panic set in. >> the mother who blames them for her son's death. >> had that device not been in that car, my son would still be living today. >> and the experts sounding the alarm. >> it really is a question of, are you going to stop selling this before more people get hurt? >> how to know if you're being tracked. plus bad acts. the oscar short-listed documentary chronicling one family's journey. >> my mom, mexican american woman.

my dad, a cambodian refugee.