>> thank you for watching. >> from our entire team we appreciate your time. jimmy kimmel next. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, dav >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, david duchovny, "the bachelor" zach shallcross, and music from lukas graham featuring mickey guyton with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. hi, everybody. thank you so much. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thank you. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. well, i got to tell you something. well, if you guys are feeling

happy now, wait until you see what i have to show you. just when you think you've seen donald trump at his trumpiest, he shows up at a funeral and sets a new world record for ridiculousness. fiberace flew to north carolina this weekend to attend a memorial service for one of his biggest fans, diamond of "diamond and silk," remember these two? they love donald trump. well, diamond passed away a couple of weeks ago leaving behind a family, friends, and lots of videos praising the man who showed up to return the favor. trump appeared before a sitting room-only crowd. 150 mourners gathered to hear him speak about their beloved diamond. and he almost did. he almost spoke about her. trump rattled on for 44 minutes. he covered a wide range of topics, including nafta, tax cuts, crowd size, illegal immigration, the election, why they don't put melania on magazine covers anymore, the space force.

it was quite a performance and he got it in just before tomorrow when the oscar nominations come out. >> inflation is a death sentence for a country. you just can look back over the last 200 or 300 years, and you look at what inflation has done to many other countries. it is an absolute death sentence. but your sister diamond was taken from us much too soon. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: inflation -- inflation killed diamond? i don't know. and by the way, we're just getting started! >> i've done a tremendous amount of work for the african american population, the black population. and i always ask, what do you like better, african american, black, you know, there is many different terms. they said we like black. we like black. because i was always saying african american. but many people said we like black.

>> jimmy: dr. martin luther king jr.'s dream has finally come true. it was more of a me-logy than a eulogy. it was entirely about donald trump. he even managed to somehow work in a story about nbc begging him to sign on for more seasons of "the apprentice." >> when i did "the apprentice," it became the number one show on television, and it did well for years. and then i said i'm going run for president, and they said no, please. and the head of nbc came, head of reality television came, they all came to my office to try and get me to sign a five-year contract. three years, five years, we'll do whatever you want to do. i said no, you can get somebody else. and they recommended arnold schwarzenegger. now arnold schwarzenegger is a big movie star, right? well, he did really poorly. he got no ratings. that thing was a disaster. well, they got martha, too, right? martha stewart. they put her in there. that was a disaster. >> jimmy: anyway, back to the

deceased. who we miss so dearly. this speech had all the sincerity and grace you could possibly expect from a man who buried the mother of his children at the 16th hole of his golf course. and the craziest thing is i bet he thinks it went great. i bet he feels like he just won a soul train award. >> make america great again. it's such a great -- there has never been a phrase like that. i think it was -- when people said what --? because i do nicknames for people. probably a lot you have heard this, crooked hillary and so many others, low energy. remember low energy? i mean we can go through the whole -- pocahantas. she said she was an indian. so i called her pocahantas. and everyone said oh, that's terrible. >> that person was our president, okay? this is a funeral. 44 minutes of this! it was like a tone def comedy jam. >> perhaps most famously, she said "we classy and we sassy,

but if you cross us, things may get nassy." >> jimmy: i think we just found his new campaign slogan. [ applause ] we classy, we sassy. could we see that one more time, please? >> we classy and we sassy, but if you cross us, things may get nassy. >> jimmy: ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country's nassy assy. by the way, trump wasn't the only notable to show up at the service. diamond got a considerably more emotional tribute from the my pillow guy. >> you are looking down from heaven, and you're giving us courage to keep going in this spiritual battle of biblical proportions to save our country and move -- and move forward in the greatest revival for jesus christ in history.

we love you, diamond! >> jimmy: use promo code "r.i.p.diamond" for 20% off a mypillow pet bed. [ applause ] wow. meanwhile, con man -- i mean congressman george santos is hotter than ever! thanks to this video, that either does or does not confirm he was at one time a drag queen in brazil. ♪ >> jimmy: wow. he may lie, but those hips don't, i tell you that. this is some story. reports say santos' drag name was "kitara ravache." and on saturday, the artist formerly known as "kitara" actually answered a question for once. >> congressman, were you ever a drag queen in brazil? >> no, i was not a drag queen in brazil, guys. i was young and i had fun at a

festival. sue me for having a life. >> jimmy: come on, guys. he was young and he had fun at a festival. that's going to be my excuse from everything from here on. i was young and i had fun at a festival. i don't know. and what a great position the republicans are in on this. fox news, i don't know if any of you watch, but they spend every night railing against drag shows, like there is some epidemic. now they've gotta suck it up and stand by curious boy george. over on the other side, another new batch of classified items were found at joe biden's house. how big is this house? this is a three bedroom house in suburban delaware. is there an underground bat cave we don't know about? where are they finding all this stuff? a spokesman for the feds said, "the f.b.i. on friday executed a planned, consensual search of the president's residence in wilmington." i like that they use the word consensual. that's a little nut shot at trump, right? for 13 hours, investigators

searched every inch of biden's house, every safety bar in every bathroom, his phone book collection, his pill organizer boxes, the horn on his victrola, they even took the plastic off his loveseat. no hard candy dish was left unturned. and they're comin' for his box of polident next! hey, speaking of old, this thursday, january 26th is our 20th anniversary on the air. [ cheering and applause ] thank you very much. we have been on since 2003. we have a special show in prime time on thursday to celebrate. 20 years is a long time. we've had many highs and lows along the way. and we'll bring you some of the lows on thursday, but tonight, i thought it might be fun to look back at one of the highs. this is one of my favorite days. this aired on november 13th, 2017, which was my 50th birthday. and the staff wrote and shot this in secret as a gift for me.

when i was around 9 or 10 years old, i drew this comic book, okay? this is a comic book i drew. oh, hold it here? it's called -- you don't have to say aww. awww, you were a sad little boy, weren't you. this is like my "fantastic four," "the terrific ten." the main heroes are "muscle man" there in the yellow. he wore a crown. he is the king of super heroes. and then there is color kid. color kid had all the powers of the rainbow, which are none, by the way. there was a leprechaun named "lucky lad." all these different characters. this is the bad guy right there, dr. bolton, some of his hench people. and the terrible ten, including bleach master, which was a box of bleach with an ax. i was a strange and lonely boy. so anyway, my staff asked j.j. abrams to direct a movie

adaptation of this comic book using the dialogue from the comic book that i wrote as a kid. so here it is, the trailer for the greatest superhero story never told, "the terrific ten." enjoy. [ cheering and applause ] >> between the terrific and the terrible. soon you'll all be under my control. >> sources confirm the super villain known as dr. bolt is plotting to literally destroy the earth and wishes to invite muscle man to do battle now. >> what's the plan, muscle man? >> assemble the team, super duck. top speed. >> that's the only speed. ♪ >> we are the terrific ten. color kid, my sidekick. >> color me ready! >> super duck! >> release the quacken!

>> spire, god of weapons. >> who wants to go clubbing? >> mirgiv, god of wonders. >> abracadabra, you're abraca-dead. >> meinstrom, god of weather. >> it's going to be cloudy with a chance of justice. >> bendolite. >> all's well that bends well. >> lucky lad. >> feeling lucky? >> super sal. >> silent but deadly. >> laser lass. >> i'm the lady one. >> and me, muscle man, king of the superheroes. >> i am a man, with muscles. ♪ >> dr. bolt, i got your invitation. i hope you don't mind. i brought a plus nine.

>> you're too late. your power is over. >> oh, boy. >> this control activates my atomic bomb, which can destroy the entire earth. >> well, then, don't hit that button. >> my dominance over you! >> and now i shall unleash the most terrible of my terrible ten. behold, the bleach master! >> what's up? >> really, a box of bleach? >> oh, and you're so great? what do you have the power of, a gym membership? >> he's got multiple gym memberships. >> i'm sorry, remind us again what your power is? >> have i all the powers of the rainbow. >> oh, so what? you [ bleep ] skittles? >> i put smiles on people's faces, okay, man? >> uh, okay.

>> wait, what's happening? >> and what about super duck? he super sucks. >> no, i don't. i can fly. >> what about leprechaun elvis over there? >> what is that even supposed to mean. >> it means you look stupid. >> quiet, please. >> i look like a yoga instructor boned a machine. >> i'm a box of bleach. >> shut up! shut up! we all suck. you know why? we were created by a weird, sad kid. who grew to later become a weird fat man. [ bleep ] you! [ cheering and applause ] >> i mean, he didn't even draw us genitalia. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: anatomically correct.

all right. we have a good show for you tonight. the new bachelor, zach is here with us. we've got music from lukas graham. and we'll be right back with david duchovny. so stick around. ♪ abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by audi. abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by audi.

♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. tonight from "the bachelor" right here on abc, the bachelor himself, zach shallcross is with us. [ cheering ] later, a band from copenhagen, denmark, their album, "4 (the pink album)," just came out last week. lukas graham featuring mickey guyton from the mercedes-benz stage. [ applause ] this week, as i mentioned, is our 20th anniversary weekend.

we've got new shows with julia louise dreyfus, rose byrne, bobby carnivale, darcy carden. we have music from hailey whitters. and on wednesday, eddie murphy will joinus for our final show of the year. >> guillermo: fantastic! >> jimmy: i know, right? and on thursday night, we are celebrating our 20th with a reboot. our first guests on our first show back in 2003 were george clooney, snoop dogg, and coldplay. on thursday in prime-time at 10:00 and in regular time, i'm pleased to say they will all be back here with us. it's going to be a fun night. [ cheering and applause ] i hope you'll join us. our 20th anniversary in prime time at 10:00 here on abc thursday night. our first guest tonight made his first appearance on this show back in 2004. he is still going strong. you can see him alongside a star-stuffed cast in the new movie, "you people." it premieres friday on netflix. please welcome david duchovny. [ cheering and applause ] ♪

very "star trek" tonight? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: how you? >> i don't know what's going on. i usually don't try it on before i come out here. sometimes it works and sometimes it does not. >> jimmy: david, you know who you look like right now? muscle man. you look like the king of super heroes. you could just as well -- >> how the f did you cast ben affleck instead of me? >> jimmy: i don't know how it happened, but i'm glad that it just did. >> that was an error. by the way, you're not the only lonely friendless boy who wrote a graphic novel. >> jimmy: is that for real? can i see? >> "kepler." we just published it i believe in june. or maybe -- >> jimmy: you wrote this? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't know this about you. are you kidding me? >> if j.j. abrams is out there

watching still, this has not been optioned yet. and jimmy, you're welcome to audition, even though i had no chance. >> jimmy: i would love to play -- i gladly accept your invitation to play kepler. my accountant's last name is kepler actually. yeah, yeah, no, not. how you doing? well, that's pretty cool. i like that. were you a comic book nerd as a kid? >> i wasn't. i wasn't. but this was sort of a sci-fi idea i had for a novel. and i never tried sci-fi before, and it met morphed into a comic book. >> jimmy: it's fun to see your characters drawn, kind of fun, isn't it? >> it is. because i do not draw at all. like if try to do story boards, if i'm directing, whatever, it's stick figures. and i do the nose on the side to show you which way he is pointing. >> jimmy: and that's it? >> that's about all i can do.

>> jimmy: i mentioned you were on our show in 2004. first of all, thank you for being on our show in 2004, because we didn't have any good people except you for the most part. years ago. >> thank you, i think. >> jimmy: before that, when i was on the radio at kroq here in los angeles. >> doing the sports. >> jimmy: you're really one of the few people i had a preexisting relationship with. >> and i hope it doesn't feel weird, but i was so proud of you when you started doing so well on the show here. >> jimmy: well, thank you. it doesn't feel weird. unless there is something -- well, thank you. [ applause ] you know i -- i was like an "x files" nut. i'm wondering. >> you were? >> jimmy: i am still, i guess. really, yeah. it's one of my all-time favorite shows for sure, as i've told you many times. probably too many times. by the way, are you still getting -- they just released that -- they don't call them ufos anymore. they're uaps. two weeks ago they released another report. did everybody contact you about it? >> no, no. if people do, i'm so out of it

and so old, really, that i was doing an interview and somebody was asking about ufos. and they said, you know, something about this new ufo cache whatever. has anybody dm'd you. and i was like oh, dm you, is that what they call ufos now? dmus? i haven't heard of this dmu. what does that stand for, dmu. unidentified. >> jimmy: now that you said it. so you're not paying attention to any of that stuff anymore? >> i never did, really. i just got my scripts. >> jimmy: you must absolutely love hearing about it all the time. >> i don't mind. i don't mind at all. i can't share the interest, but i don't mind your interest. >> jimmy: you had a great triumph on our show back in 2004. you remember what i'm talking about? >> how can i forget. >> jimmy: let me show a photograph.

this is we, for whatever reason, probably not a good one, had a rascal scooter race. and you can see that is chris myers, who did the play by play. me and my cousin sal, uncle frank, the great jeff gordon. and you. we raced on rascal scooters in our parking lot. and you can see who is holding the trophy there. so there is not going to be any drama. but let's play that. let's show that clip. >> incredible speeds, and it is david duchovny! i can't believe it. >> wow, he did it! >> lou: jimmy kimmel is second and jeff gordon a disappointing third. >> jimmy: how did we beat jeff gordon? >> i didn't remember that. i stopped and actually usain bolt taunted you. >> jimmy: you did. yeah. >> and how did we beat jeff

gordon? it was all lane assignment. i had the inside lane. you had is second, he had the worst lane, the third. and you floor it immediately. it only goes 4 miles per hour. there is no skill involved. i stayed on the inside lane and won easily. >> jimmy: okay, all right. well, if you want to downplay your accomplishments, that's fine. but the fact of the matter is i weighed at least 50 pounds more than jeff gordon did, probably 60 or 70 pounds more. >> right. >> jimmy: so that's a disadvantage. >> i remember jeff gordon was a little pissed off too. >> jimmy: i don't blame him. >> i would be too. i'm not a good driver. >> jimmy: well, you know what? i do want to mention this mel brooks thing. they're making a hulu series called "the history of the world part 2." and nick kroll, wanda sykes, a big, huge cast of really great comedy stars. you're part of this. >> and me. >> jimmy: and you. you've done many things yourself. who do you play? >> i play howard cosell. >> jimmy: howard cosell. >> you remember howard cosell?

>> jimmy: i hope they do. yeah. do you do the whole wig, the whole deal? >> i had the wig. i look like walter matthau. i didn't know i did a howard cosell necessarily until i got there. >> jimmy: everybody kind of does a howard cosell. >> exactly. of our generation, if i may say. >> jimmy: yes, right. i know what you're saying. a lot of people don't know who howard cosell. but he is a great character to play. did you practice? did you review old tapes of howard? >> i did a little bit. and then i was actual -- i actually was able to talk to his grandson collin cosell, who i then cast in a movie i directed "bucky fing dent." i did the full thing there. >> jimmy: collin is the pa announcer for the mets. >> wow, you're good. >> jimmy: and kind of sounds like howard cosell. >> a little bit. >> jimmy: it's always a little bit weird. >> i called collin. and i said what are the bullet points of the cosell imitation? and he gave them to me. >> jimmy: what are the bullet

point? >> i don't remember them anymore. >> well, jimmy, i see that you've turned 50, and i applaud that, but i have to say i see before you the shell of a former talk show host that i used to know and love. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i like subtle howard cosell. david duchovny is here. his new movie is called "you people." we'll be right back. [ cheering ] ♪ ♪hey, take a look at me now♪ ♪watch me standing out♪ ♪like a diamond in the crowd♪ ♪dance like nobody's around♪ ♪'cause i got my own style♪ ♪take a look at me now♪ ♪i do my own thing♪ the car that says so much. ♪i do my own thing♪ ♪i do my own thing♪ ♪just watch me stand out♪ introducing the toyota crown. toyota. let's go places. could i get the 10 piece chicken mcnuggets? wait no, big mac.

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i'm sorry about my mom. she is literally a moron. >> i like your braids. >> thank you. >> xzibit had braids. >> yeah. >> you remember that show "pimp my ride?" that was a blast. i love that show. he seemed like such a cool dude, such a gentleman. you ever bump into him on any of your show things? >> no. >> no? oh. is he still in the rap game? >> dad, stop. >> what? >> just like producing sound. >> i like x to the z. >> dad! >> what can i say? >> jimmy: that is david duchovny in "you people." it premieres friday on netflix. this is a very funny movie, and you're very funny in it. >> thank you. it is funny movie. that cast is amazing. >> jimmy: great cast. you, your wife. julia louis-dreyfus plays your wife. jonah hill plays your son. eddie murphy plays kind of opposing father-in-law. >> yeah, yeah. and lauren london. >> jimmy: and you and julia just do everything in your power to ingratiate yourselves to this black family.

>> yes, the opposite fact. >> jimmy: yes, yes. and jonah hill, did you know jonah hill before this? >> well, no. it's funny, because i'm playing his father, which is something. in your career, when you start playing people's fathers, it's something. >> jimmy: yes. >> not something to celebrate at all. so i don't remember what year it was, but i was doing your show, and i don't remember what i was doing at 4:00, but jonah was the second guest. and i had seen "super bad" because i was friends with judd. and i had seen a screening of "super bad." and "super bad" was just about to come out. i went into jonah's dressing room to say oh, my god, you're a star. you're amazing. you're so great in this film. and i remember jonah look at me like what the [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: did he remember that? >> i didn't bring it up. >> jimmy: didn't bring it up at all? >> maybe i didn't remember it until we were starting to talk about coming back, you're retrospectively looking back.

happened. embered that that had- >> jimmy: he had a moment where he looked at you and felt like you were a father to him. >> at this moment, yes, we could have used that in the film. but we didn't. we missed that chance. >> jimmy: did you get to spend any time with eddie murphy? >> yeah, just working, sure. spent some sometime with eddie, sure. >> jimmy: how was that? >> i mean, he is an amazing performer, and a really solid guy. i enjoyed everybody on the set. >> jimmy: i know. but he's eddie murphy. i know you enjoyed everybody on the set. but did you like make any attempt to really kind of bond with eddie or accidentally walk into his trailer? >> i said xzibit had braids. >> jimmy: xzibit, by the way was in the "x files" movie with you. >> that's completely random true. kenya barris, the brilliant writer/director of this movie, he just came up with this riff. >> jimmy: oh, that was unrelated? >> yeah. i play arnold. he is a podiatrist who has a thing for xzibit.

and every time i open my mouth in front of black people, i start to talk about xzibit. so the weird thing was, i co-starred with xzibit in the first or second "x files" movie. kenya had no idea of that. so after i did the first riff on set, because i believe it was improv'd by kenya for me, i googled a picture of me from the "x files" movie and he was oh my god. >> jimmy: does xzibit know that you talk about him? >> i suppose he does now. >> jimmy: i yeah, i hope so. you also sing and play piano in the movie. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and that is a very funny scene. was that improvised as well? >> in a way it was. kenya kind of left me to do what i want to do with that, go learn the song or whatever. and i went and i learned the song with a voice teacher, believe it or not. when you watch, you'll see. [ laughter ] and so but because of covid, it was like the height of covid or

one of the heights of covid when we were shooting it. and netflix has really strict protocol. so i had to show up super early and test twice, i think, because i was going to sing. singing is the most dangerous thing you can do. >> jimmy: that's right. that's what they said. >> i could bring a bazooka and a full arsenal, and they would give less of a [ bleep ] than if i was going to sing in front of you. >> jimmy: yeah. >> a deadly act. >> jimmy: we weren't allowed to have trumpets or trombones in our band for a long time >> exactly, no wind instruments. soy had to go and record this song in a room in the house where we were shooting alone, and then i had to choose which version of the song i was going to lip-synch to, because they weren't going to allow me to actually sing in front of the camera. i had to learn the ins and oust outs of the song i sang that morning to lip-synch it. and then they cleared the room. i wanted to show off in front of eddie and julia. i get to sing this funny song, check it out, and i was all alone in a room. i sing it.

and after i'm done singing it and spraying my stuff all over the room, they fumigate the room. and you couldn't shoot in there for an hour. i felt like a total pariah. >> jimmy: that's very sad. well, it came out funny. whatever you guys had to do to get there. you're directing a movie right now. >> yeah, from a novel i wrote called "bucky fing dent." >> jimmy: bucky dent was a short stop for the yankees. he was the mvp of the world series. >> yep. >> jimmy: in 70 -- >> you know better than me. you know more about ufos and baseball. >> jimmy: i remember that was a traumatic world series. i think it was either '77 or '78. >> it's really a father-son story. my editor is in audience tonight, jamie nelson and crystal. >> jimmy: i was wondering if your editor was in the audience. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you know, we've had -- >> services. >> jimmy: in 20 long years, we've never had anyone shout out

their editor in the crowd. >> that's the key, jimmy. editors are the unsung heroes of the movie business. >> jimmy: that's true. that's true. and we're going edit this part of the interview out. [ laughter ] david duchovny, everybody. "you people" premieres friday on netflix. we'll be back with bachelor zach. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ zach. ♪ when moderate to severe ulcerative colitis persists... put it in check with rinvoq, a once-daily pill. when uc got unpredictable,... i got rapid symptom relief with rinvoq. check. when uc held me back... i got lasting, steroid-free remission with rinvoq. check. and when uc got the upper hand... rinvoq helped visibly repair the colon lining. check. rapid symptom relief. lasting, steroid-free remission. and a chance to visibly repair the colon lining. check. check. and check. rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tb. serious infections and blood clots, some fatal; cancers, including lymphoma

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and, boy, do we need it. [ chuckles ] well, this safe driver saved money with the snapshot app from progressive. -how do you feel? -um, good? he's better than good. he got rewarded for driving safe and driving less. sorry, barb, just to confirm, this is the feel-good news of the week? this is what we found. -yay, snapshot!

(vo) at wells fargo, direct deposits come up to this is what we found. two days early with early pay day. what if everything came two days early? (hero) have a good weekend! alright now... have a good weekend. (co-worker) but it's wednesday... (co-worker 2) see you monday! (co-worker 3) am i missing something? (hero) it's the weekend baby... see you later.

(vo) like getting things two days early? when it comes to payday, you can with wells fargo. (co-worker 4) what are you doing this weekend? this week on "jimmy kimmel live!" julia louis-dreyfus, rose byrne, bobby cannavale, d'arcy carden, and eddie murphy, plus music from hailey whitters. also, be sure to watch our 20th anniversary show in prime-time this thursday, january 26th with guests george clooney, snoop dogg, and music from coldplay. dogg, and music from coldplay.

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>> jimmy: we are celebrating 20 years with our og line of guests. >> thursday kimmel goes live in prime-time with -- >> jimmy: george clooney, snoop dogg and coldplay. guillermo, you were just a baby. >> celebrate 20 years of "jimmy kimmel live!" thursday on abc.

♪ >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. music from lukas graham is on the way. earlier today america watched our next guest meet 30 beautiful women, dump 10 of them, kiss 7 of them, and get licked behind the ear once. please welcome our newest bachelor, zach shallcross. ♪ well, it's good to meet you. congratulations i guess, is that what we would say? >> i think so. congrats on 20 years by the way. >> jimmy: thank you very much. i appreciate it. [ applause ]

i know that i was informed of something kind of interesting. this is not your first time here at the show. >> no. this is actually my second time. first time i was here a couple of years ago with one of my good friends. actually, one of the producers in your show got me some pretty cool seats. top left corner right up there. >> jimmy: oh, were you way in the back? >> a little nosebleedy. >> jimmy: we should put a plaque, the bachelor once sat here in the bachelor's seat. this is a photo you took backstage. you look very different there. how long ago was this? >> great question. three years ago? >> jimmy: three years ago? >> yeah. >> jimmy: boy, they cleaned you up for this bachelor, didn't they? you look like me on the way into work in that picture. so you were on "the bachelorette." you were in the top three. and what, you kicked yourself out of the show, right? >> kind of. yeah. >> jimmy: after the fantasy suite. >> yes. >> jimmy: was it in the fantasy suite you decided you no longer wanted to be on the show?

>> yeah, absolutely. >> jimmy: what happened in there? >> it's a great question. >> jimmy: something weird? >> yeah. what do you think happened? >> jimmy: i think you soiled the bed. [ laughter ] and you said you know what? i got to get out of here now. >> i'm out. something along those lines. we'll keep it at that. we'll just keep it at that. >> jimmy: oh, this is good too. your uncle is -- >> yes. >> jimmy: patrick warburton who played putty on "seinfeld" and "the tick." and so many other things. so you have show business in your blood kind of. >> a little bit. i mean, it's kronk. everyone loves kronk. he had a lot of advice and support for me. >> jimmy: did he give you advice? what did he say? >> interestingly enough, only a little bit, because he is like dude, this world of reality tv is another beast. and he was beyond shocked. because he was part of it a little bit last season. >> jimmy: was he happy that you were on the show? >> mmm --

>> jimmy: not that happy. >> he's supportive. i'll just say that. >> jimmy: okay. all right. how did the whole putty family react to you being on "the bachelor"? >> the whole putty family and my family found out the same time i did actually. so there is the live finale, and they did the announcement. >> jimmy: oh that was real where you found out you were going to be the bachelor live there. >> moments before was it confirmed. i had pure shock. my family was oh my god, it's actually happening. >> jimmy: do they ask you beforehand, hey, if you pick you, will you be? or is it just you're the bachelor! go! >> it's more like that. >> jimmy: is it really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: they just assume that because you're there you would accept being the bachelor? >> there is a good chance of it. a couple of conversations. and i thought it would be a great opportunity and ready for love again. my family has been super excited. but my sisters have kind of lost their interest in "the bachelor." >> jimmy: because you're on it? >> so they've been die-hard fans for years.

and once they learned oh, wait, i'm going to have to watch my brother be the one in the hot tub, i'm good, i'm good. so they won't watch. >> jimmy: that's understandable, i think. by the way, one of our producers has a theory, laura, that "the bachelor" is a cult. and she printed out a list for me of the characteristics of a cult. i want you to tell me if any -- any of these apply. sleep deprivation. members must stay awake for extended periods of time. >> correct. >> jimmy: check. charismatic leader that would be you. members are zealous, protective and unquestioningly committed to a living, charismatic leader. >> sure. >> jimmy: check. cohabitation. members are encouraged or required to live and socialize with other group members. absolutely check. isolation. members experience physical separation from their family, friends, and society. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: check. games.

games with obscure rules are introduced. check-a-roony. love bombing. creating a sense of belonging through hugging, kissing, touching, and flattery. there is a bit of love bombing. >> jimmy: that's the whole frigging show. >> a little bit. >> jimmy: and finally, common goal. the group claims to pursue a common goal, which in this case is getting a ring from you. >> the right reasons. >> jimmy: this is a cult that we're airing on television on a disney owned television network. [ applause ] and you're their david koresh. i have news for you. so is it overwhelming when you're presented with 30 women who are all suddenly hot for you without ever having met you? >> yeah, yeah. it was a shock. and at the live finale, i actually met five of them. and i forgot everyone's name. >> jimmy: you did, yeah. i would do that too. >> just lost everything. it was terrifying. >> jimmy: do you remember the names of all 30 of the women who

were on the show with you? >> you know, it was so scarring at the live finale that i didn't mess up a name again throughout the entire season. >> jimmy: so if i were to put up all 30 of the women and one of them -- [ applause ] i'm not going to ask you to name them because that's ridiculous. but if one of them wasn't the bachelorettes, would you be able to find that woman? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: okay. put it up on the wall. there they are. >> should i walk. >> jimmy: you can look at it closely and examine and figure out if somebody looks unfamiliar to you. [ laughter ] by the way, we're all hoping you get it wrong! [ laughter ] >> wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i promise, we didn't screw around. there is one person who is not on your show. i'm not lying, i promise.

>> jimmy, don't do this. >> jimmy: i'm not doing anything. i'm just right here. >> jimmy: that's the one? >> that's the one. right? >> jimmy: as a matter of fact, yes. that's a member of our studio audience tonight. [ applause ] we asked her to take a picture and stuck it to the wall. that's good. that's got to be a relief. did you find love? did you find the one, the woman of your dreams? >> hmm. >> jimmy: you can't say. >> unfortunately. >> jimmy: now i'm going to say the odds are no. >> i'll tell you this. i found love. i did. >> jimmy: you did? >> i found love. absolutely. >> jimmy: you found love. what does that mean, you found love. >> you're going to have the see what that looks like. >> jimmy: okay. all right. well, we'll see, i guess. "the bachelor." you can watch it. see if zach is indeed telling

the truth about finding love. monday nights here. they lie a lot, by the way. monday nights on abc. they're cult leaders. they're programmed to lie. thank you, zach. zach shallcross, everybody. we'll be back with lukas graham. ♪ >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes eq. all electric, all mercedes. all electric, all mercedes.

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>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is presented by >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the all-electric mercedes-benz line-up is here. >> jimmy: thanks to david duchovny and zach, "the bachelor." apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next but first, their latest is called "4 (the pink album)." here with the song, "home movies," and some help from mickey guyton, lukas graham! [ cheering and applause ] ♪ ♪ there's a boy i don't know what he's hiding he's got his mother's eyes ♪ ♪ and his daddy's charm just the

♪ she knew where to find him in the local bar ♪ ♪ smokin in the dark it was perfect timing but what they ♪ ♪ both didn't know is how far this thing would go ♪ ♪ and they might not want the truth but if they do ♪ ♪ play em our home movies if they wonder who i was even if they don't ♪ ♪ then play em just because let em see the highlights and don't forget the lows ♪ ♪ everybody's got a story no one knows so just let them play ♪ ♪ until the credits roll there's a story i didn't know ♪

♪ we'd write it however long it took it's an open book ♪ ♪ if you love surprises there's a song underneath the silence ♪ ♪ you can hear the crowd sing the words out loud in just the right pitch ♪ ♪ but what we both didn't know is how far this ♪ ♪ thing would go and we might not make it through ♪ ♪ but if we do play em our home movies if they wonder who i was ♪ ♪ even if they don't then play em just because let em see the highlights ♪ ♪ and don't forget the lows everybody's got a story no one knows ♪ ♪ so just let them play until

ths rollhehing i could be ♪ituthese memors ev though they might not show the best of me ♪ ♪ oh-oh play em our home movies if they wonder who i was ♪ ♪ even if they don't then play em just because play em just because ♪ ♪ let em see the highlights and don't forget the lows everybody's got a story ♪ ♪ no one knows so just let them play ♪ ♪ until the credits roll ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> mickey guyton, ladies and gentlemen.

>> lukas graham. mickey guyton, gentlemen. tonight, the people are lying on the ground with their dance shoes on. >> a joyous celebration taking a deadly and tragic turn as a gunman opens fire at a dance hall. we're on the ground in monterey park, california with the victim's survivors and loved ones. >> when i think of her, i hope the takeaway for everyone is be kind. >> as police search for a motive. plus, the hero who confronted the alleged gunman, saving lives. >> he was looking past me into the ballroom. and it seems like he was looking for people to harm. >> fearing for his own life -- >> i needed to grab his weapon. i needed to take control of the situation, or else everybody will die, including me.