>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- orlando bloom. lauren ash. and music from jordan davis. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's very nice, thank you. i appreciate that. hi, i'm jimmy, i am host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. welcome. i hope you -- [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. i hope you had a great

valentine's day yesterday. how did it go for you, last night, guillermo? >> guillermo: it went great, fantastic, jimmy. >> jimmy: did you do what you had to do? >> guillermo: always, jimmy, yes. >> jimmy: mission accomplished? >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: did you say thank you at the end? >> guillermo: yes, always. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my wife and i started the morning by having an argument about whether you put lotion on before or after the shower. i was in the bathroom, and guillermo, you know this, but these people don't know this. i rarely moisturize. i'm not a lotion guy. [ laughter ] yes, if i get a jar of cocoa butter from dj khaled, i'll use it. [ laughter ] otherwise, i'm a no-losh type of individual. [ laughter ] but my skin was a little bit dry this morning, so i call out to the bedroom. i said "molly, do you put the lotion on before or after the shower?" and she laughed. [ laughter ] and then there was a long pause, and she said, "that was a joke, right?" [ laughter ] and i go -- "yeah." and then, she storms into the

bathroom and says "oh my god. are you serious? you don't know to put the lotion on after the shower?" [ laughter ] and i said, "it seems like it makes more sense to put it on before so it really gets in there. because if you're wet, it kinda slides off." [ laughter ] now she's mad. she's like at 100% mad. she says, "if you put it on before the shower, it washes off." and i said, "i don't know, when my skin is dry, i think it might soak it up more." and that turned into "are you seriously telling me how to put lotion on?" [ laughter ] and i said "no, i'm just trying to figure out what the best way to do this." well, i looked it up, and according to the internet -- according to my chatbot a.i. -- [ laughter ] turns out the best way to do it is after the shower. it's after the shower. [ laughter ] while you are damp but not wet. okay? so there was something to my -- so then who was right, guillermo, about this? >> guillermo: your wife, jimmy, the lady's always right. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: speaking of looking things up, microsoft, i don't know if you heard this, announced they have officially disabled internet explorer. you know the web browser we all used to have? it's gone now. and good luck explaining that to your mother. [ laughter ] explorer will be replaced by a browser called "edge," which microsoft claims will give you the smoothest shave yet. [ laughter ] i have to say, i use a mac, but i have fond memories of internet explorer. it's been out there since 1995. and so tonight, we thought it fitting to pay tribute with a trip down computer memory lane.

[ laughter and applause. >> jimmy: when one door closes, another window pops up. speaking of virus-riddled relics from 1985 -- donald trump -- [ laughter ] according to yeah rolling stone" magazine, if elected again, trump has been talking to advisors about bringing back firing squads. not just firing squads. death by hanging and the guillotine. is he running for president or sheriff of nottingham? i don't know. [ laughter ] what kind of a brain does this man have? he doesn't want to be president. this guy, he wants to host a game show where he drops people through a trap door filled with crocodiles at the bottom. [ laughter ] he wants to host "squid game." that's what he wants. you know, trump used to be a firing squad. >> you're fired. you're fired. . i'd. you're fired. you're fired. you're fired. you're fired. you're both fired. you're fired. you're fired! you're fired. you're fired. you're fired. you're fired. you're fired. you're fired.

you're fired. you're fired. you're fired. gary, you're fired. dennis, you're fired. >> jimmy: now he'd like to bring that back. he believes by putting this on tv, it would help put the fear of god into violent criminals.p. the guy who thought rihanna's halftime show was not appropriate for television wants to chop human heads off after a new episode of "young sheldon" on cbs. [ laughter and applause ] makes a lot of sense. although, i will say in his defense, a spokesman for trump denied this story saying it's just more ridiculous and fake news from idiots who have no idea what they're talking about. then he said, "trust me, i work for this guy, i know idiots who have no idea what they're talking about." [ laughter ] what an animal. and also, if trump executes all the criminals, who's going to send him a father's day card? [ audience oohing ] oh, friends of ivanka? [ laughter ] the fraudigal son, don jr., has been doing daddy's dirty work, lashing out at biden press secretary kareen jean-pierre for saying "canadia" instead of

canada. she had a slip-up. of course, he did this the day before his father typed out the word "momentous" instead of "mementos." but that didn't stop djtj for a second. >> clearly, in -- in step with canadia. >> clearly we're in step with canadia. this is what happens when your only qualifications are you're a foreign-born lesbian who happens to be african american and that was the hiring process, it seems, for this individual. that's not racist, they basically said it. we're being led by imbeciles. these are the people who are going to get calls when there is an actual alien invasion, which who the hell knows, maybe this is it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's going on with his arms, by the way? it's like they're made out of those inflatable car wash guys. [ laughter ] it's really out of control. >> remember, guys, if it an alien invasion, you know who i want in charge? joe biden. we're all screwed, guys. >> jimmy: take me to your dealer. [ applause ]

in the hope of avoiding another don jr., researchers announced a major breakthrough in the field of male contraception. men will soon be able to take a pill that will stop their sperm from swimming for an hour. remember when your mother would tell you you can't swim for an hour after you eat? [ laughter ] it would be like that, but with much, much younger children. [ laughter ] they tested the drug in mice and after ingesting it, none of the mice got any women pregnant. so, that's good. [ laughter ] they say their ultimate plan is to crush the pills up, put them into a tranquilizer dart, and hide in a tree outside nick cannon's house. [ laughter ] another doozy of a scandal involving congressman george santos -- if that is his real name -- has come to light. [ laughter ] the latest is, five years ago, santos was charged in pennsylvania with stealing puppies from multiple breeders, including an amish farmer.

who bred these golden retrievers. he walked allegedly away from the farmer with four golden retrievers. stealing puppies from the amish. could be the crime of the century. [ laughter ] the 18th century, but the crime of the century. [ laughter ] the story says santos paid for the puppies with checks that bounced, then beat the charges by claiming someone stole his checkbook. he's creative, you have to give him that. trump just goes around, "i won the election. my crowd was the biggest." santos is like, "i invented silly putty! with my feet!" [ laughter ] how does he keep topping himself? we're only ten weeks into this we never heard of this guy before that. already he's accused of amish puppy stealing and claiming he produced the "spider-man" musical. [ laughter ] cnn actually caught up with a specific amish breeder who supposedly got duped. >> these are nine checks from november 2017. the name on each of them, george santos. the checks to buy puppies obtained by cnn were written to fred and other amish dog breeders.

they totaled over $15,000. >> he seemed uncomfortable and nervous and fidgety. i told him, i don't take checks, all i can take is cash. well, he said, "would you expect me to carry enough cash to buy a bunch of puppies on a trip like that? i do not have cash. the only thing i can give you is a check." >> the check bounced? >> the check bounced, right. >> jimmy: he really churned that guy's butter, didn't he? [ laughter ] i guess the amish can't venmo. so it's a real conundrum. it only got stranger from there. >> he told me he was producing the new airbud movie "wimbledog." the dogs play tennis now in the fellow said he was going to make my dogs big hollywood stars but he didn't have time to go to the atm because a person named steven spielberg needed dogs right away, so he wrote a check. >> the check bounced? >> like north's thick bootie, it bounced. by the way, what's a movie? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go.

george santos is now number two on the amish enemy list. just below "electricity." and the big question is, what did he do with those puppies? this many of them? is this what his sweater vest are made out of? [ audience moaning ] don't worry, it's just a joke, guys. [ laughter ] the other big mystery is what's up with all these ufos? the senate yesterday got briefed from the military on the three "uaps," which is short for "unidentified aerial phenomena," that we shot down over the weekend. according to axios, the military didn't classify what the objects were, but they don't think they were aliens or chinese spy balloons. the best guess right now is that there are some overly aggressive remax agents on the loose. [ laughter ] but it is, i don't know, cute that we briefers? on this sort of thing. as if. if we found out the aliens were invading us, joe manchin would know what to do. "maybe if we throw a bucket of water at 'em they'll melt?" "that's a witch, joe.pthat's 't"

china is sticking to their claim that the first one we shot down was a weather balloon that got blown 12,000 miles off course. how "off-course" can you get? you missed by an ocean, if that's the case. [ laughter ] and now china is mad at us for popping their balloon. like a 4-year-old. [ laughter ] needless to say, all this ufo talk has the tinfoil hatters going wild, including green bay whack packer aaron rodgers, who offered this hot take on "the pat mcafee show." >> i believe this has been going on for a long time. interesting times on everything. there's a lot of other things going on in the world. did you hear about the epstein client list about to be release too? >> what's that? what are you talking about? >> there's some files that have names on them that might be getting released pretty soon. >> ooh! >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] might be time to revisit that concussion protocol. [ laughter ] the white house is reportedly

debating whether the president should make a televised address about this ufo thing. that seems like a bad idea. i'm going to put did to rest for you. here's what happened. you want to know what's going on? okay. we spotted a chinese spy balloon. we shot it down. then, because of that, we suddenly started looking at all the rest of the crap in the sky. people let things go all the time. kites, drones, stomp rockets. you name it. parakeets! [ laughter ] and now, because of that balloon, they're paying attention to this stuff. the air force probably spent $2 million this weekend shooting down a mylar dora the explorer balloon -- [ laughter ] that escaped from the parking lot of a chuck e. cheese. that's it. that's what's happening. crisis averted. there are no aliens. everybody go back to their phones. get back into wordlewhile you're at it. [ laughter ] everyone is dumb. and we wanted to have some fun with that, so we went outside our studio and asked pedestrians if they saw the hollywood ufo. we told them there was a ufo sighting. and asked them if they saw it, and sure enough, many of them did, in tonight's lying saucer edition of "lie witness news."

>> we're talking to people about the hollywood boulevard ufo. what was your reaction? >> i was really confused. i looked up and i saw this thing. everyone started screaming. i wasn't really expecting it. i was just walking down, looking at the stars, i looked up. it was just this massive thing in the sky, it looks insane. i wasn't expecting it. coming from london, i really wasn't expecting to see this. i'm a little bit confused. i've been looking on social media to see what's going on. texted friends at home even though it's midnight at home, yeah, letting them know. >> do you think a british accent makes somebody sound smarter? >> no. >> do us a favor, for people who may not have seen it, describe what the ufo looked like. >> it was a bright light. traveling faster than it really should. and then all of a sudden, gone, disappeared. >> where were you when you saw it? >> i was -- i was sitting, um -- i'm out by the airport. [ laughter ] >> so people have been texting

you about the ufo? >> yep. >> can you hear some of those texts? >> yes, some people have been saying -- i've got this one from my best friend. she woke up in the middle of the night to say, are you okay, i've just seen it on the news. and i was in the disney store at the time and i didn't realize, i came back out, that's when i saw it. then my mom started freaking out. family group chat, whatsapp, mom freaking out constantly, text me, text me, text me. >> can you show that to the camera? >> no. [ laughter ] >> tell us what you do. >> i work at the coffee shop, the coffee bean, on the corner of hollywood and orange. >> have any customers been coming and talking about the ufo today? >> yes, there was one. they seemed pretty shaken up, pretty scared about it. they didn't say too much. but they visibly seemed a little affected. >> what did they order? >> uh -- they ordered -- uh -- i'm not sure. i take a lot of orders in a day, i can't remember. >> just make something up. >> okay. [ laughter ] they got a mocha

cookie bits and whipped cream. >> we're talking about the uufo over hollywood boulevard this morning. do you come in peace?p>> to the. to the wrong people, no. >> have a great trip home. >> thank you. >> jimmy: there you go. we've got a good show for you tonight. from the show "not dead yet," lauren ash is here. [ cheers and applause ] we have music from jordan davis. and we'll be right back with orlando bloom.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ hi, there, welcome back. tonight from the new show on abc called "not dead yet," lauren ash is with us. then later he is from shreveport, louisiana. his album "bluebird days" comes

out friday. jordan davis from the mercedes [ cheers and applause ] benz stage. tomorrow night, we have a very good one with katy perry, lionel richie, and mike epps, capped off with music from beck. so please join us for that. our first guest has drawn bow and buckled swash in two of the most popular movie franchises of all time. season two of his show "carnival row" premieres friday on amazon prime. please welcome orlando bloom. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> you too. >> jimmy: how's your life going, things are good? >> things are great. >> jimmy: it has been awhile. >> interesting walking in seeing that photograph of you and i. i think i look about 12, you look about 18. >> jimmy: you know, i took a look at that on my way in, too,

in the hall -- >> that was a feel-good factor right there. >> jimmy: you somehow get more and more handsome each time i see you. [ cheers ] i don't know what's going on. >> yeah, we try. >> jimmy: i mention, you know -- >> medication's amazing these days. >> jimmy: tomorrow your fiancee, katy perry, will be here on the show. did you know that? did she tell you? >> i think we missed an opportunity. we could have at least carpooled. this could have been a thruple, the mind boggles. >> jimmy: i could have been couples counseling for you two. >> hours of entertainment. >> jimmy: do you ever worry you'll lose her to lionel richie? [ laughter ] >> listen, lionel, he does have his powers. by the way, it ain't going nowhere fast, he is -- >> jimmy: he starts singing "once, twice, three times a katy" and you are in deep, deep trouble. ♪ hello ♪ >> jimmy: she's in vegas

tonight? >> she is. >> jimmy: do you go to vegas with her when she's at her show there? >> i do, every now and again. it's a really good deal she's got going on. she goes in, pops in andout. but every now and again, i'll go. >> jimmy: do you like las vegas? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. >> i mean -- actually, that's not true, i do. i've learnt to -- i found recently -- i was in red rocks, climbing. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> incredible. red rocks, when is just 20 minutes from the strip. 25, 30 minutes. it is like its own fireworks display as the sun sets. >> jimmy: it's absolutely beautiful. they call it red rocks because the rocks -- >> are red. >> jimmy: very red. >> when the sun sets, it's this explosion of color. you can be in nature whilst you're in -- smef just at the crap table. >> jimmy: do you play craps? >> not the worst thing to do, either. apparently, i wouldn't know. >> jimmy: katy probably can't go down into the casino? >> we spend a lot of time back of house. >> jimmy: back of house, right. not only is she very

recognizable, her name, there are posters of her all over the place. >> you kind of become part of the furniture. do i mean that? what i mean is you become part of the crowd. it's sort of a family, you know what i mean, people accept you. you kind of get taken in. >> jimmy: in the city of las vegas? you're talking about in the confines of the casino? >> the city. >> jimmy: in the city of las vegas. you know i grew up in las vegas, so i'm one of those people -- >> who takes us in. >> jimmy: takes wayward celebrities like you in. [ laughter ] "go to red rocks." >> "get on a mountain bike." >> jimmy: you do a lot of -- i don't know, is dangerous a good way to describe these things? these hobbies of yours? >> exciting. >> jimmy: exciting? >> thrilling. >> jimmy: okay. like, this is -- they're not just riding a motorcycle, you are racing this motorcycle. >> yeah, that was fast. >> jimmy: who are you racing against, and at what speed? >> i think i got up to, like, 200k. >> jimmy: what that is in american miles per hour? [ laughter ] >> yeah --

>> jimmy: if you give me a half hour, i can figure it out. >> 160. >> jimmy: 160 miles an hour. >> something like that. >> jimmy: and -- >> it was fun. i had a good time. gets your heart going, you know? >> jimmy: yeah, i would hope so. if it doesn't -- >> oh! >> jimmy: this is -- >> free diving. >> jimmy: free diving. how is free diving -- >> you hold your breath for an extremely long amount of time, swim down as far as you can, and come back up. >> jimmy: why are you wearing skis under the water? [ laughter ] >> very long fins. >> jimmy: how long can you hold your breath? >> about 4 1/2 minutes. >> jimmy: for real? no. >> but like -- i could probably do it a bit longer, but i was actually -- i actually dove to, i think -- i got to quite a depth. with free dive going? hold on a second, 4 1/2 minutes? for real? if i were to go to a commercial break -- [ laughter ] by the time we come back, i feel like -- >> i'd be passed out. >> jimmy: you'd be unconscious. that's an extraordinary --

>> i'm not sure -- yeah. >> jimmy: that's a lot of time to hold your breath. >> oh, yeah, that was fun. >> jimmy: this is heliskiing. they take you in a helicopter, drop you out on your snowboard -- >> it's very exhilarating what can i tell you? you're out in nature, about as close as flying as you can get, having gotten off a helicopter where you are actually flying. it's a lot of fine feel going? what is it about your life that makes you so eager to end it? [ laughter ] what's the craziest -- >> funny you should ask. >> jimmy: what's the craziest or dumbest thing that you have done? does anything come to mind? >> i jumped out of a plane recently in a wing suit. and that was -- >> jimmy: you did? >> pretty crazy. >> jimmy: you did that, really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you feel, when you're doing it, do you feel like -- >> alive? pretty close to death? >> jimmy: no, but hike in that dream -- >> or at the same time? "i'm alive, i could die, oh my god, this is crazy!" it's that feeling.

"wow, i feel really connected because i could die at any minute." >> jimmy: take a walk outside on hollywood, you could have that same feeling, right? [ laughter ] >> there you go. that is my argument when i'm telling anyone. "i could walk across the street, game over, don't tell me i can't jump out of a plane in a wing suit." >> jimmy: is it that same feeling, you have the dream you can fly -- >> my flying dream is bouncing. bounce and bounce and bounce, suddenly i'm up and i'm flying. what's your flying dream? >> jimmy: i haven't had it since i was a kid. the dream is i figured out how to fly. it was always -- there was almost an invisible kind of ramp that i was able to get up on. >> oh, right. >> jimmy: once i got up on the ramp, then i could do it. >> then you were flying? >> jimmy: then i was flying, yeah. >> yeah, we probably feel a little bit like that. >> jimmy: you have a trampoline dream? >> no, it's like a recurring thing where i'm bouncing -- i start to bound, then i bound as high as buildings, then i'm not going down, i'm up and i'm flying. >> jimmy: it's weird.

guillermo, do you have a flying dream? >> do you fly? >> guillermo: i don't fly, but yeah, i have a dream. but i'm afraid of heights. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: even when he's sleeping, he's afraid of heights. all right, we're going to take a break. we're going to look at your show, season two of orlando's new show "carnival row." we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by crown royal. live generously and life will treat you royally. ♪ hey, it's just not right. nah, i need to try something... new. [sfx: triangle instrument dings] “ring my bell” by anita ward. audience screams. ♪ ring my bell ♪ you're gonna quit rap for a triangle? i gotta do me, missy. i love you, jack! america has a case of triangle fever. jack harlow did it again. ting, ting, ting! [sfx: triangle dings] doritos, try another angle.

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to help people. to help ourselves. much easier to hide amongst -- to hide among -- wearing a uniform -- not hiding anything. helping the police. that's the thing. hiding, hiding. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is orlando bloom and another orlando bloom in season two of "carnival row." i get it. you do all these crazy things because there's an extra one of you just in case something terrible happens. >> there you go. >> jimmy: this show is -- you play a detective in a world where humans and these kind of mythical creatures coexist. >> fey folk as we call them. >> jimmy: you're half faerie, half human? >> half fey, half human, which we discover at the end of season

one. i think it was a bit of a blessing. we shut down, as many people did, during the covid period and that turned into a longer thing for us. also we got to go back and add a couple of elements to the show for this, which season two now becomes -- >> jimmy: it's interesting you say that. a number of guests say, covid gave them extra time to work on what they've been working on. >> we shot most of season two, then we had this massive period of time, like over a year and a half, with which to look at what we had and then go, okay, we're not going to be able to get anything out for this amount of time, so do we add to it? and finesse what we've got? and bring you a season which becomes a finale which i think is phenomenal? i always love the idea of leaving people wanting more, you know what i mean? >> jimmy: you say it's a finale, pyou planned all along to do tw seasons of this show? >> it's -- no. because i would say our hand was forced by covid and by what that meant to the schedule. >> jimmy: i see, i gotcha, okay.

>> for the studio. >> jimmy: you and katy were at harry styles' concert with jeff bezos, who owns amazon, which runs your show. was that a coincidence you guys were there together? >> it was a coincidence. in some ways. in the sense that in the afternoon, i didn't know that was going to be happening. at the end of the day it was like, oh, this is happening, okay, great. we were at a friend's birthday party. and then it just so happened that there was an opportunity. >> jimmy: do you get the sense he has any idea what shows are on his amazon prime? [ laughter ] or is it like toothbrushes to him? >> actually, i'm always really impressed with how down to earth and grounded he is around all these things. >> jimmy: what did you get katy for valentine's day? anything? >> i did, actually. >> jimmy: you did? a gift? >> a beautiful, beautiful gold and diamond tiffany's bangle. >> jimmy: let's pretend you didn't get her anything. >> i didn't get her anything. >> jimmy: great. there's this company, what they do, they get undelivered amazon

packages or whatever kind of packages. >> right. >> jimmy: they put them all in a box. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you pay $150, they send it to you, you get whatever's in there. i don't think even they know what's in there. >> your christmas fifth? are you kidding me? that would be so fun at christmas. >> jimmy: like a surprise deal. >> are you seserious? >> jimmy: this is real. >> this isn't real. >> jimmy: nobody's been through these. you're going to go through them. i'll get myself a knife here. look, i can't even find my knife. that doesn't matter. okay, here we go. >> wait, do we just -- i don't want to -- i mean this -- >> jimmy: i don't know what's in there, i don't know how fragile it is. >> can i start opening? >> jimmy: start opening things. then we'll give this stuff to katy if you like any of this stuff. >> oh, wow. oh my god, crocs. [ laughter ] actually, i really -- those are my kids' size. >> jimmy: oh, all right. >> oh, there's another pair. for me! oh, yellow. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: those are nice. okay, wow. yellow and brown crocs. >> my size! wow!

>> jimmy: some san diego padres fans didn't get their -- >> oh my god. >> jimmy: this is -- what is this? [ laughter ] >> oh -- >> jimmy: what's the name of this company that does this? you all know this? i don't mean this thing. i don't know what this thing is. should i cut it up? [ laughter ] >> oh my god. that's actually really fun. >> jimmy: you know what this is? >> set it up, look at the thing, it's self-explanatory, right on the front. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, that is kind of fun, all right. yeah it lays dominos down. >> wow. >> jimmy: i might have to keep this. >> no way, there's a tutu. oh, you're kidding me. somebody didn't get their tutu. >> jimmy: would i joke about something like that? yeah, that is kind of sad when you think about it like that. >> whoa, that's somebody's wedding dress. [ laughter ] oh my god. >> jimmy: you are engaged. that could be something. >> that actually upsets me. it's kind of cute. oh, man, somebody didn't get

that. >> jimmy: only $150 for this? wow. wow, somebody's initial on there, "g.m." all right. oh, no. "wgm," okay, all right. that's nice, katy's going to love that. >> yeah, love it. >> jimmy: what else do we have here? this is kind of fun. it's more fun than opening real gifts, in a way. >> peachy baby? >> jimmy: this is shorts i got here. >> wow. [ cheers ] whoa, jimmy! somebody's a little kinky. >> jimmy: what is this? >> that's for the bum, they're bum shorts. >> jimmy: what? >> if you haven't got a bottom, you put those on, then put the things there, simulate you've got a bottom. >> jimmy: really? [ applause ] >> dude, they're bottom shorts. >> jimmy: why do you know this so well? >> because i'm an actor! >> jimmy: did we get everything? >> oh, bloomers. [ laughter ] blooms, bloomers, come on now. >> jimmy: that's something that might go over. this is something -- i don't know what this is. >> that's crazy.

>> jimmy: oh, come on. >> what is that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they send this to people? >> that is good. >> jimmy: this will be nice for your next trip to red rocks. >> that is good. oh my god. >> jimmy: did we get everything? one more thing? all right, here we go. one.n't know how we top that - >> i don't know how you top that one. >> jimmy: that and the padded ass shorts are going to be a nice -- >> the padded ass shorts and -- looks like a -- >> jimmy: and finally -- >> and finally -- >> jimmy: a toy of some kind. oh. >> i mean -- what is that? >> jimmy: what this is? some kind of conducty pikachu hybrid monster doll? [ laughter ] >> crazy -- yeah, you're right. that's really -- >> jimmy: pikachucky is what it is. look at that, wow. you think your kids will like that? >> i'm not giving this to a child. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right. i'm going to give this -- my son will definitely like this one. well, there you go.

>> whoa! >> jimmy: there you go. you know, i don't know when katy's birthday is, but that might be nice. orlando bloom, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] season two of "carnival row" friday on amazon prime. we'll be back with lauren ash. i have moderate to severe crohn's disease. now, there's skyrizi. ♪ things are looking up ♪ ♪ i've got symptom relief ♪ ♪ control of my crohn's means everything to me. ♪ ♪ ♪ control is everything to me. ♪ feel significant symptom relief with skyrizi, including less abdominal pain and fewer bowel movements at 4 weeks. skyrizi is the first and only il-23 inhibitor for crohn's that can deliver both clinical remission and endoscopic improvement. the majority of people on skyrizi achieved long lasting remission at 1 year. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine or plan to. liver problems may occur in crohn's disease.

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>> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. music from jordan davis is on the way. our next guest spent six seasons as assistant manager dina fox on the show "superstore." she has a new one called "not dead yet." watch it wednesdays here on abc. please welcome lauren ash. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> great. >> jimmy: i like your hair. your hair is very pink. >> it's a bubble gum dream. >> jimmy: is it? >> it is. >> jimmy: have you done that before or is this the first time you've done this? >> i had a big birthday, a bit of a mid-life crisis situation. let's just go for it, you know? >> jimmy: when was your birthday? >> february 4th. >> jimmy: really recent. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i got you something. oh my gosh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's actually -- you know what i got you, i got you a

pair of shorts. [ cheers ] >> that's the gift that keeps giving. >> jimmy: enjoy. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: what did you do for your birthday? >> i don't do anything halfway, jimmy. i go a little far. a an over-celebrator. i decided to live my high school teenage dream and front a rock band. >> jimmy: wow. >> i didn't just hire a band and play at a bar. i did a photo shoot. i mocked up a "rolling stone" cover. i made merch. i had a merch stand with five different t-shirt designs. >> jimmy: five different t-shirt designs? did you charge people for the merch? >> that was all free. >> jimmy: free, wow. >> there was a sign-up sheet. see something you like, don't see your size? put it down, i'll send to it your house. >> jimmy: wow. >> that was the service i offered. >> jimmy: it wasn't just your birthday, it was everyone's birthday. >> i realized i could start a band tomorrow and go play at a dive bar and people would not be paying attention or care.

>> jimmy: oh, wow, there you are. >> that's me. >> jimmy: with a band. >> that's from your birthday? >> jimmy: it is. [ cheers and applause ] >> the experience that i wanted was to feel like a rock star, right? i made a video shaming all my loved ones who were am attendance right before i went on that said, don't be a dud, i want to see you move and distance. i've obviously brought some joy to your life if you're here. show up for me. it was the greatest night of my life. >> jimmy: did they do it? >> they really did. >> jimmy: they didn't disappoint? >> there was dancing, singing, they came up to the edge of the stage. >> jimmy: did you write the songs? >> no, so the first set was -- it was all, like -- >> jimmy: first set? wait. how many songs did you do? >> so the first set had about ten songs. >> jimmy: wow. >> like "hole," blink-182, green day covers. then, if i leave the stage, i absolutely won't come back. i made them cheer for me. that made it a big change. i did a quick change into that

sequin number. i came out and did three harry styles songs. >> jimmy: that was your encore? >> that was the encore that i forced. >> jimmy: like karaoke, except no one else was allowed to sing? >> exactly that, that was the premise. the only misstep i made was that i was like, i'm not seating them until i'm done performing. then there's going to be not paying attention. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they're going to be distracted. that meant there was over two hours of an open bar. when i came out after that show sober because i wanted to be present, all of my loved ones, my best friends, were the drunkest i've ever seen. >> jimmy: they they were hammered. a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate this whole idea, how did it come out for you? >> oh, 11, solid 11. >> jimmy: really, wow. >> yeah, we go to 11. >> jimmy: wow, that's great. [ cheers and applause ] did people bring you gifts? or was it a no gift type of situation? >> i realized i probably should have said, your presence is present enough. but i didn't. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> so i got many gifts. the best, of course, was one of my best friends, whitney, got me tickets to see harry styles. a lot of harry styles talk on

the show. >> jimmy: yeah, harry styles is every -- center of the universe right now. >> he is, he is. >> jimmy: did you go to the show yet? >> we went, yes. it was the final night that he was here in l.a. >> jimmy: how was it? >> it was incredible. >> jimmy: do you know harry styles? >> i have a bit of a backstory with harry. so in 2014, i was kind of new to l.a. and i was running with a crowd that was far more famous than me. and we ended up at a coldplay concert, vip area. i'm dancing, you know. i've had, you know, a couple. and i feel someone dancing behind me in a very respectful way, i need to make clear. i sensed a presence. and after the song was done, this head leaned towards me and said, "what's your name?" and i was like, "lauren." he was like, "i like your style." i turn and it's harry styles. >> jimmy: wow. >> then i was like, "okay." so then we danced for like two songs. i'm talking fun, sweaty, just like the best time dancing. and during the third song of us

dancing, like really in the moment with each other, i look, and behind him is his date for the night who's standing like this. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i've never told this story publicly because i felt like it might have been a trauma for her. women are for women, you know what i mean, i don't want to reat all ties. i googled her recently, she got married last year. >> jimmy: she's good. >> she's fine. i'm single. i have to put out my missed connection, you know? >> jimmy: was it? maybe i'm just -- wasn't harry styles 12 years old in 2014? >> he was legal. he was legal. i also googled that before we went any further with this story. at the harry styles concert that i attended, i did have a sign that head, "harry, you danced with me at coldplay in 2014, let's dance again." >> jimmy: that's a long sign. that's a really long sign. >> he read it. >> he did? >> i got a peace sign. >> jimmy: you did, okay. >> there you go. >> jimmy: your show, there's a -- i think it's a very interesting idea. >> yeah. >> jimmy: explain what the idea of the show is. >> so a woman named nell serrano has blown up her life. chasing a guy to england --

>> jimmy: gina rodriguez. >> so the show kind of opens on her coming back, tail between her legs, to the old newspaper where she used to work where i am her very difficult boss. and she is assigned to obitu obituaries. every time she writes an obituary, the ghost of the person she's writing about comes to her, and she kind of learns some things and all the above. >> jimmy: i like that. >> it's a lovely, sweet show. >> jimmy: do you believe in ghosts? >> duel. >> jimmy: you do? >> i'm a seer, jimmy. >> jimmy: have you seen a ghost? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: were you sure hari styles was real? [ laughter ] >> honestly, i don't know. if it was a ghost, it would make sense. i feel presences, see presences. i had a bit of a misstep. i felt a presence in my home, i thought, i'll cleanse it, google cleanse, what's the big deal? and i think i might have kind of accidentally invited more ghosts in. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> because as i was cleansing, i

was trying to be joyful and happy. i was like, "the only spirits allowed here are the positive, good ones." then i realized the next day when the heats were flickering, and like -- i have a cabinet -- >> jimmy: you opened the portal to hell. >> i opened a portal, i welcomed them in. i did need to consult with an expert after that. >> jimmy: where do you get an expert for that sort of thing? >> i just googled "best witch in l.a." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what really? >> yes. she was wonderful. we got the situation sorted. i haven't felt or seen any signs of any more ghosts. >> jimmy: can i tell you something? i think it's time we take away your google. [ laughter ] i think you're relying on it a little too much. >> i know, i really feel that way. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. congrats on the show. the show is called "not dead yet." it airs wednesday nights at 9:30 right here on abc. lauren ash, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, lauren. happy birthday. we'll be right back with jordan davis. >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the all-electric mercedes-benz

lineup is here. in las vegas, the most popular food is broccoli. yeah, that's the only food. they have broccoli smoothies, and broccoli pancakes, and broccoli ice cream, and broccoli hotdogs, and of course, they have raw unseasoned broccoli..... with stems. -daddy, i don't want to go to las vegas with you and mommy tomorrow. oh, are you sure? are you sure you don't want to go, it will be so much fun!

>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the all-electric mercedes-benz lineup is here.

>> jimmy: thanks to orlando bloom and lauren ash. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, his album "bluebird days" comes out friday. here with the song "tucson too late," jordan davis! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i didn't know if we were over or just on the rocks ♪ ♪ was me thinking i can save us just a mirage ♪ ♪ i was burning up the highway kept getting longer ♪ ♪ every turn of these tires just kept getting goner the sky was showing no signs of rain ♪ ♪ ain't nothing delaying that plane ♪ ♪ i'm racing through the desert thinking i can catch her ♪ ♪ but losing ground

in this chevrolet ♪ ♪ that 747 somewhere between here to heaven ♪ ♪ and heaven knows i let her slip away i showed up and she's gone ♪ ♪ guess i got to tucson too late ♪ ♪ ♪ i wonder if she sat there stirring vodka with a straw was she counting down the seconds ♪ ♪ or maybe having second thoughts and was moving on made up in her mind ♪ ♪ would she have changed it if she knew that i was racing through the desert ♪ ♪ just thinking i can catch her but losing ground in this chevrolet ♪ ♪ that 747 somewhere between here and heaven and heaven knows i let her slip away ♪ ♪ showed up and she's gone yes i got to tucson too late

now she's on some silver wings flying ♪ ♪ and me i'm on the bad side of good timing yeah i'm racing through the desert thinking i can catch her ♪ ♪ but losing ground in this chevrolet that 747 somewhere between here and heaven ♪ ♪ and heaven knows i let her slip away i showed up and she's gone ♪ ♪ guess i waited too long like a sad country song i got to tucson too late ♪ ♪ ♪ too late oh i got to tucson too late ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, toxic train derailment. tensions erupt at a packed town meeting in ohio. >> we are afraid right now. we don't know what we're facing. >> nearly two weeks after a train derailment unleashed a potential environmental nightmare, a dark cloud of distrust. >> there were several dead fish floating at multiple locations. >> it makes me feel like i shouldn't be in the area. >> high-profile advocates like erin brockovich sounding the alarm. >> they're scared and they're not getting information. >> so is this community safe? plus elizabe