tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 1, 2023 11:35pm-12:37am PST
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from all of us, we appreciate your time. for now, jimmy kimmel. ama: have a great night. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- jon favreau. nicole byer. and music from tove lo. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. thank you. i appreciate it. oh, very nice. hi, everybody. i'm jimmy, i am the host of the show. thank you for watching the show, thank you for joining us at the show. we are in hollywood where we're still wet. the rain finally let up today, but it's coming back. and it's cold. it snowed again today. there were snow flurries in santa monica.
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which is so crazy for us. and it rained a lot last night. last night, i dragged the garbage cans out to the street. it was -- i felt like one of the soldiers in "all quiet on the western front." [ laughter ] really a heroic act. it was harrowing. i said to my wife, "you know, women's history month starts tomorrow. i think it would be a cool thing, maybe a great message for our daughter and for equality, if you dragged the garbage cans out." [ laughter and applause ] then she showed me one of her fingers. [ laughter ] women's history month started as women's history week in 1982, and then someone thought, "hey, women should probably get more time than sharks on the discovery channel." [ laughter ] so they made it a month. it's an opportunity to look back at the history of women's rights, especially this year, when so many of women's rights are history. [ light laughter ] and while we are all aware that february is the shortest month,
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it was very hard this morning. in fact, damn near impossible for our newscasters around the country to believe it's march. >> good morning, it's the beginning of march. >> wow, can you believe it? >> no. >> march, can you believe it? >> no. >> it's march. >> i know, can you believe it? >> march, can you believe it? >> march, can you believe that? >> march, can you believe it? >> march, manny, can you believe that? >> god bless. >> can you believe it, we're already in march. >> already in march. >> march already, can you believe it's here? >> it is hard to believe. >> hard to believe it's march. >> hard to believe this is march. >> hard to believe it's march 1st. >> marchn 1st, can you believe it? >> march 1st, can you believe it? >> march 1st, can you believe it? >> march 1st, wow, can we just let that sink in for a minute? >> so says jimmy kimmel. >> we're starting to make an
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impact. it's hard to believe they're still doing this. in washington, d.c., the annual gathering of the maggalos has begun. [ laughter ] cpac stands for clowns periodically assembling in convention centers. [ laughter ] it is a chance for the far right to get together and share crazy thoughts. they started it with the traditional 21 assault rifle salute and the pledge of allegiance to donald trump. [ laughter ] then they got going with -- they've got some great panels lined up this year. these are real. we didn't make these up. people pay to go see these. "no chinese balloons above tennessee." [ laughter ] "sacking the woke playbook." [ laughter ] "parents with pitchforks." [ laughter ] i saw parents with pitchforks at coachella last year, really good band. [ laughter ] "the biden crime family." [ laughter ] and this is the one i would go to. "my speech." by mike lindell, the mypillow man. [ laughter ] i guess his rabies test came back negative. [ laughter ] he's able to speak at this event. and he's not the only star.
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you've also got -- the honorable matt gaetz, congressman from florida. the honorable tulsi gabbard, former congresswoman, lieutenant corner colonel, host of "the tulsi gabbard show." mr. donald trump jr., executive vice president of the trump organization and host of the "triggered with don jr." podcast. and, kari lake. i guess that's her resume, i don't know. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i guess "former newscaster who lost" didn't look good on the flyer. when you buy a ticket, a general ticket costs $295. when you buy it, this is real. you have to promise you won't hold them liable if you get covid. [ laughter ] this is the same group of republicans who say covid is a joke, making you sign a waiver so they're not responsible if you die from that joke, perfect. [ laughter ] mike pence will not be attendance at cpac. the last time a big group of these maga monkeys got together, they tried to hang him. so he opted out. [ laughter ] the conference is being held at the gaylord harbor national resort and convention center, which is another reason
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mike pence won't come. [ laughter ] donald trump is the headliner. which means ron desantis isn't won't come either. this bad mojo between trump and desantis, this is going to be a lot of fun. even though he hasn't officially entered the race, trump has been trying out nicknames for desantis. which is a subject he weighed in on with his pal/just for men customer sebastian gorka. >> you made quite a bit of news on truth social and on your recent rallies with your new nickname for the governor of florida, ron desanctimonious. somebody else has come up with another nickname. what is the nickname you have for us? >> ron deestablishment. >> mr. president, ron deestablishment, what do you think of that? >> that's not bad, i've heard worse. they came up with lots of different names. meatball, i didn't like that one too much. >> jimmy: he came up with that one, he doesn't like it too much. [ laughter ] doesn't donald trump have
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facetime? why is every interview with him giving a mad face while we listen on the phone? [ laughter ] we got some new intel on what went down at the fbi in the weeks leading up to the search and seizure at mar-a-lago. some fbi agents were reluctant to search the president's residence because they didn't like the optics and they were scared they might walk in on shaun hannity show."self to "th- [ laughter ] oops! mr. president, we're not with the military. [ laughter ] and while we continue to wait for one of these many investigations to result in something, weren't they about to hand out indictments in georgia two weeks ago? if they do finally lock trump up, there's a whole minor league team of nitwits ready to step in and take over. including marge-a-lago, marjorie taylor greene, who is still whining about being heckled at a restaurant this week. the same woman who followed and shouted at a high school student who had just survived a mass shooting is very upset. she told sean hannity that someone ruined her perfectly good blooming onion.
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>> last night i was having dinner with two members of my staff. we were working, preparing for committee hearings today -- [ laughter ] and then we were approached, a woman came over to my table and started verbally attacking me, calling me all kinds of names. >> you dumb, stupid, ridiculous hot dog face! >> then another member of her party started screaming f-u, marjorie. >> as loud as he possibly could, over and over again, inside the sweatshop. >> f-u, marjorie! f-u! >> we want our own safe space, and we deserve it. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i suggest the bottom of a waffle house, i don't know. now they're for safe spaces, okay, i felt they were against that. i mowknow a safe space. might i suggest the bottom of the well that girl from "the ring" climbs out of?
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[ laughter ] laura ingraham, who interviewed a parent in some town in maine, upset about the books his sons found at the library. one in high school, one in elementary. the book the kid got at the high school was definitely inappropriate for teenagers, but for whatever reason, he brought his 9-year-old on tv with him to talk about it. and watch this kid closely, because he's good. >> that book was gender queer. my son actually checked that out of the high school library. and brought it home. i looked through it. there was graphic content of two boys and one of them was -- sucking him off -- >> okay, all right. we get it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on, now. maybe a spoiler alert? [ laughter ] let's have another look at that kid. >> sucking him off -- >> okay, all right, got it. [ laughter ]
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: well, at least he's learning something. on sunday, march 12th, i am hosting the oscars, live, here on abc. [ cheers and applause ] that's very kind. there are some major motion pictures in the running this year. ten best picture nominees. how many of them have you seen, guillermo? >> guillermo: one, jimmy. >> jimmy: only one? >> guillermo: yeah, only one. >> jimmy: you've not seen -- really? i'm guessing it's "top gung," right? >> guillermo: no, it's "avatar." >> jimmy: you didn't see "top gun"? when tom cruise was here you told him you saw "top gun," didn't you? >> guillermo: i didn't tell him anything. >> jimmy: do you think he assumed you saw "top gun"? >> guillermo: yeah, of course. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why didn't you go see "top gun"? >> guillermo: i don't know, jimmy. >> jimmy: of the ten best
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picture nominees, do you know which made the most money? >>. >> guillermo: avatar," jimmy. >> jimmy: grossed $2.3 billion, the third highest grossing movie of all-time. box office matters for sure but you don't have a hit movie until yehya says you do. [ laughter ] our very own in-house rotten tomato, yehya, has yet to weigh in until now. yehya talking about the movie "avatar: the way of water." >> hi, it's me, yehya. i talk about the movie nominate for oscar, "off have a daughter." i saw the old "avatar" that the new one play now. "avatar," people live in their mind, far, no clothes, only underwear. the relationship in the movie "ava "avatar," rosie cement, she's green woman. that movie, she's green alien. yeah.
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and also she did the movie "friend with the monkey." [ laughter ] and the man guy in that movie "avatar," sam willis smith. james cameron, he's the director who do "terminator," he do "titanic," he do movie with arnold, he dress like 007, hold the gun like james bond. michael coresese. that movie, "avatar," is they have a special suit like this. james cameron put you in computer and become avatar. wow, look, it's beautiful. look, i'm swim now! i shooting arrow! >> you're one of us now. >> now i'm avatar! go see "avatar" in 3d with the
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glasses. it's boom! come in your face! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, yehya. i love you, i love you. e best!- >> jimmy: i love you too, yehya. i love you, i love you too. all right. god bless you too. >> god bless you forever. >> jimmy: god bless you. >> god bless you. >> jimmy: god bless you. >> no, god bless you. >> jimmy: today, god can bless you, tomorrow god can bless me. >> god bless you and the audience. >> jimmy: and the audience. god bless you too. >> i take picture before oscar. >> jimmy: you did? >> with you. >> jimmy: yeah? >> can i take picture? >> jimmy: god bless you, yes, of course. >> god bless you. oh, you want to take a picture now? >> yeah, you and me. >> jimmy: okay, all right. this can't wait until after the show? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, all right.
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>> i love you too, jimmy. got bless you. >> jimmy: god bless you. >> god bless you. >> jimmy: god bless you. there we go. take him away, guillermo. [ applause ] we have a blessed show for you tonight. nicole byer is here. we've got music from tove lo. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll be right back with jon favreau!
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abum "dirt femme" is out, with "borderline," tove lu. i'm distracted because we've got this kid in our audience who comes from the netherlands from a town called gouda. the cheese is named for the gown. i've become fascinated because he hates all our food in america. [ laughter ] i looked up gouda on my ipad. is this your leader? [ laughter ] do you know him? >> i have no idea. >> jimmy: you don't know him? >> he looks like the guy that hypes up the crowd here, so maybe he knows him. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah. he does look a little bit like -- yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i'm guessing he smells like him too. [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] tomorrow night, kevin bacon and oscars best actor nominee paul
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mescal with music from our next guest direct the original "iron man" and service as writer, executive producer, sometime director, and biological father of a baby yoda on "the mandalorian." season three premiered today on disney plus. please welcome jon favreau! [ cheers and applaus] ♪ >> jimmy: always great to see you, how are you doing? >> i'm doing great, how are you doing? >> jimmy: i'm doing well. your big red carpet premiere of "the mandalorian" last night. >> yes, the el capitan, a lot of memories there. all the marvel stuff, all the disney stuff. >> jimmy: are you superstitious at all? is that where you want to do it? >> disney owns the theater. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i heard the red carpet
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covered your star, your brand-new star on the hollywood walk of fame. >> my brand-new star, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's disrespect of. but congratulations. >> right near yours, i noticed. >> jimmy: we're in the same neighborhood. >> right in front of here. they cut a hole in the carpet, when is very nice, very thoughtful, for the premiere. there was just that. >> jimmy: i like that. >> a little light on it. >> jimmy: that's good thing. yeah. it's your star, then i think snoop dogg and then marla gibbs and then me. the four of us are together. >> snoop dogg's there with us? >> jimmy: snoop dogg is right there. >> that's awesome. >> jimmy: snoop dogg is getting your star high right now. [ laughter ] >> we have mara amsterdam, who nobody here would know. >> jimmy: morrie amsterdam. we can't mention amsterdam, it's a little bit of a sore point. [ laughter ] he's from gouda in the netherlands. gou gouda. >> like the cheese. >> jimmy: he says our gouda is terrible here.
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>> yes, but you can make little sculptures out of the red wax wrapping. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. he doesn't know anything, he really doesn't. [ laughter ] >> you work your way up to vandel. >> jimmy: it's craze to me when i think back not on the first time you were here, but the first time you were here talking about the "iron man" movie, which i think is about two years before it came out. >> was it? >> jimmy: it was. i was so interested in why of all the characters in the marvel universe -- now it seems to make perfect sense -- why you'd start with iron man. >> it's, who was left over? they were making a lot of the superhero movies with spider-man, they had batman, and iron man was -- seemed like the next logical choice. >> jimmy: to you, not to me, it didn't seem that logical. yet it turned out to be very logical. did you know that, like, it would be the -- like kind of the seed from which this giant tree grew? >> we didn't know. honestly, when we -- when robert downey was cast, that's when i thought, oh, this could be something really cool and really
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special. and we attracted -- because of robert, i tnk- a of great acts like jeff gwyneth. it turned into a really fun tone. and the characters became recognize and the comedy was kind of offbeat. of course the technology and our friends at industrial light and magic could for the first time bring this metal suit to life in a way that you could believe. i think the technology was ready to present a character like that. >> jimmy: robert downey jr. spoke at your star ceremony. you had to ask one or two people to come speak, somebody who's important to you in your life. not only did he speak, he -- i don't know if you knew this was going to happen. i think we have a photograph. maybe i have the photograph here. here it is. here's robert after he spoke about you, he put a big wad of gum on your star. [ laughter ] >> he said he wanted to be the first. yeah, yeah. you know, he did not tell me this. roy choi, our mutual friend. >> jimmy: roy choi, yeah. >> it was a wonderful day, i thought it really broke the
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tension. but of course, the -- you know, the dignitaries from the hollywood chamber of commerce quickly scooped it up. i wanted to keep it. we could auction that thing off, i think. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love the idea, of all the things there are to scoop up on hollywood boulevard. [ laughter ] that robert downey jr.'s gum was at the top of the list there. >> if it was across the street, maybe i could have had the real iron man standing on it. >> jimmy: perhaps you could have. >> if you're from the netherlands, ax cross the street they have people dressed up as superheroes. >> jimmy: yes, yes. >> it makes up for our lack of good cheese. >> jimmy: you can see them, if you show up early enough, a good tip for tourists, show up early enough in the morning you can see them with their heads off, smoking. [ laughter ] >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> what hole does spongebob smoke through? >> jimmy: geez, i think all of them. [ laughter ] there's one spider-man's got a big, white moustache. he'll park his accord around the corner from here. and every once in a while i see
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him smoking with my son and it's upsetting. [ laughter ] as i drive him to school. >> it's hard work, it's hard work being in that costume all day. >> jimmy: speaking of my son, i do want to mention something. what's the name of your show on apple tv plus? >> a prehistoric planet. >> jimmy: it's a great show, "a prehistoric planet." [ cheers and applause ] >> there's actually a second season coming up, may 22nd. >> jimmy: oh, great. >> check it out, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> second season. >> jimmy: i can tell right now, because i know these people, they're lying. they don't know what the show is. [ laughter ] >> thank you for turning the "applause" light on, i appreciate that, thank you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the show, you kind of -- correct me if i have any of this wrong. you've taken that technology, you did the live action "lion king"? >> that's exactly right. 3 >> jimmy: you applied to it dinosaurs? >> right. we filmed out like we were doing a nature documentary. david attenborough is our narrator. it's done by the bbc and apple.
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we go in the field, use state-of-the-art science and show how dinosaurs lived based on the latest archeological evidence. it's not just biting and fighting. they're rearing their young. there's a lot of scientific breakthroughs that have been happening? the last few years and we depict that. we shoot the plates in nature then add cg dinosaurs that are photo real like we developed around "lion king." it plays like a live-action documentary, except it's set 60 million years ago. >> jimmy: it looks like planet earth, then david attenborough narrating it. >> right. >> jimmy: i've told my 5-year-old there aren't my dinosaurs and we don't have to worry about them coming. [ laughter ] he believed it for awhile, until now he sees this, he thinks there are dinosaurs. >> there's a t-rex walking down hollywood boulevard. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're contributing to the fake news in our society right now. but it's fun to watch. i like the biting and fighting, don't lay off on the biting and fighting. >> we have a little of that too. >> jimmy: let's take a break, we'll bite each other, fight at
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the commercial, and we'll come back and see a scene from "the mandalorian" with jon favreau after this, we'll be right back. >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by number 7 skin care. the uk's best-kept beauty secret. discover it at walgreens today. [sfx: triangle instrument dings] “ring my bell” by anita ward. audience screams. ♪ ring my bell ♪ you're gonna quit rap for a triangle? i gotta do me, missy. i love you, jack! america has a case of triangle fever. jack harlow did it again. ting, ting, ting! [sfx: triangle dings] doritos, try another angle.
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>> it's complicated. i completed my quest. he returned to me. i removed my helmet, and now i'm an apostate. >> which is all the morrone for you to stay here with us. where you're from, you may be an apostate. but here, you'd be landed gentry. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jon favreau, a scene from "the mandalorian" which premiered today on disney plus. people were up at midnight waiting for it to come on. >> it's wonderful. like you said, we had a premiere right next door. it was great to see it with a crowd. it's also great to see the internet react and guess what's going to happen next. >> it's been a really fun gig. >> jimmy: i watched it at my house last night before midnight, not far before midnight. my nephew, my brother's son, wesley, is in the show. and he played -- he's been on the show for a little while. >> he was -- well, he was -- robert rodriguez cast him doing "book of boba fett."
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there was a little kid that was a tescan raider. covered with bandage, no dialogue. we cast him because robert wanted somebody who was good physically and would be very professional with a martial arts background. he likes to cast kids with that background because he finds that they're good physically, easier to direct. you called me and said, "you're working with my nephew." i didn't know. i didn't know if he was in the crew, i was very embarrassed, i didn't know who it was. "oh, wait, wesley kimmel." >> jimmy: that's right. >> he did such a great job for us there, we figured he should be allowed to show his face this year. we gave limb a different role. >> jimmy: not only a different role, he's in the first seven minutes of the show. >> no, he's great. >> jimmy: all focused on him. [ cheers and applause ] i have a picture of him. >> there he is. look at that. that face. >> jimmy: did he tell you he has a background in the martial arts? >> does he not? >> jimmy: i don't think so. [ laughter ]
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i don't know, maybe he went to three karate classes when he was a kid. [ laughter ] >> whatever it makes. >> jimmy: let's just say, if there's trouble, don't expect him to help. [ laughter ] this is pretty great. you got your own action figure here. >> there i am. >> jimmy: there you are. [ cheers and applause ] did you approve it? or did they -- >> i don't know whose head that is. >> jimmy: yeah, i know, it doesn't look like you. >> but you know what, our friends at hasbro, that was something i do nice sometimes for people that work on the shows as a collectible hasbro figure. i told them i was going to be on this show. and we have the one and only -- would you like to see the jimmy kimmel action figure? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! oh, wow. oh, look at this. wow. look at that. [ laughter ] i'm in carbonite sc! look at that. >> i like how they put you in
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your same suit. >> jimmy: i like how i'm being frozen in carbonite and i'm smiling. >> after 20 years, you know what i mean? nothing sticks to you. you could have me capturing you -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah, we could play together, yeah. [ laughter ] >> that's what it feels like when we make the show. >> jimmy: my background in martial arts finally pays off. [ laughter ] [ applause ] so there are a lot of -- you're kind of in charge of the "star wars" world, in some ways? right? >> one little corner of it on disney plus. >> jimmy: don't you consult and everything goes through you? >> we all talk to each other, but there's all different time periods, different filmmakers doing different storylines. they all have to feel sufficiently he's very involved with the other shows but we make sure everything fits together. now we're working on three different shows together. four if you count "book of boba fett." "mandalorian," "asoka" is coming
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out in post production. we have quite a few shows that are happening in this same time period. >> jimmy: is there any chance spiter man will ever be in "star wars"? you've got apollo creed in it, why not put spider-man in there? [ applause ] >> yeah, no -- i'll work on it. tom holland, great guy. >> jimmy: sure, yeah, okay. wow, that would be -- boy. >> your nephew beat him out for the role. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it would be really awesome to have some cross-over between the marvel cinematic universe and the "star wars" universe. >> patton oswald, like outtakes from "parks and recreation" where he does a whole pitch for the world with thanos and "star wars"? >> jimmy: oh no -- >> check it on youtube. >> jimmy: i'll have to summon patton and have him share that with me. you that i'm in carbonite. >> you'll be jealous. >> jimmy: one of the first
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things in the first "iron man" movie was the post-credit sequence. now it affects all of us. you can't go to the bathroom after the movie. >> that's right. >> jimmy: you have to wait. and then on the rare occasion that there's no post-credit seque sequence, you're mad. >> that's right, that's right. [ laughter ] we did it -- right, we have it with sam jackson as nick fury. >> jimmy: right. >> that was a top secret shoot. we had to do that on a day off. i'm a fan of sam jackson, not just from "star wars." this is before marvel. from his tarantino films, his independent film days. it was just a blast to have him there. the eye patch. the leather jacket. just having him on the set. and he's like a real geek, he loves comic book culture and sci-fi. so he was there, and i was directing him. with sam? you shot two scenes - >> right. so -- yeah. the way it works is iron man at the end walks into his living room. after the credits. >> jimmy: tony stark's living room? >> tony stark's living room. he gets surprised by nick fury
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being there, inviting him to join the avengers initiative. that kind of kicks off the whole sequencing that happens. and i had him do a take for me. i knew it wasn't going to be in the movie. where he goes, "who are you?" >> jimmy: wait, we have that, actually. >> you have it? where did you find this? this was never -- did you -- how -- >> jimmy: i don't know. [ laughter ] >> this is real, by the way, this isn't a joke. we really filmed this just for fun. >> jimmy: yeah. >> now you have it? >> jimmy: we have it. >> set, and action. >> i am iron man. >> you think you're the only superhero in the world? >> who the hell are you? >> i'd like to talk to you about a business opportunity. >> who the hell are you? >> nick fury, mother [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ bleep ], [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: in my ozempic® tri-zone, i lowered my a1c, cv risk, and lost some weight. in studies, the majority of people reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. ozempic® lowers the risk of major cardiovascular events such as stroke, heart attack, or death in adults also with known heart disease. and you may lose weight. adults lost up to 14 pounds. ozempic® isn't for people with type 1 diabetes. don't share needles or pens, or reuse needles. don't take ozempic® if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. stop ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. serious side effects may include pancreatitis.
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gallbladder problems may occur. tell your provider about vision problems or changes. taking ozempic® with a sulfonylurea or insulin may increase low blood sugar risk. side effects like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems. ask your health care provider about the ozempic® tri-zone. you may pay as little as $25. [ upbeat music ] ♪ do your thing ♪ ♪ i said, do your thing ♪ ♪ come on now, let's roll now ♪ ♪ let it all out ♪ ♪ do your thing ♪ ♪ do your thing ♪ ♪ just do your thing ♪ spring moments made easy.
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hey, it's just not right. nah, i need to try something... new. [sfx: triangle instrument dings] “ring my bell” by anita ward. ♪ ring my bell ♪ ♪ my bell ♪ doritos, try another angle. (cecily) i love puppies... (seth) well i love that i switched ♪ my bell ♪ to verizon. my other network used to drive me crazy! (cecily) yeah... and with welcome unlimited for just $25 dollars, i love that we both got an awesome network and saved money doing it. (seth) i love that it's guaranteed for 3 years. (cecily) ok now what i love is that we got to keep our phones. more savings! (seth) what i love... (cecily) hey! we're sittin' on a sign here. (vo) switch and get welcome unlimited for $25 a line. guaranteed for 3 years. the savings that last on the network you want. verizon tony! jimmy john's is calling it the new caprese salami pesto. let me see that. [zoom out] ♪
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our next guest is a six-time nominee and assortment of pods, the second season of "grand crew" premieres friday on nbc. please welcome nicole byer! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you know guillermo because you were kind enough to fill in for me over the summer. >> yes, and he pole danced for me and was so sexy. >> jimmy: that's right. >> guillermo: yes, yes. >> get it, guillermo. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's a very sexy man. surprisingly. he slides in under the radar. >> yeah. >> jimmy: right into your drawers, you know? how are you doing? >> oh, listen.
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i'm fabulous. wearing a tribute to missy elliott, i'm looking good. >> jimmy: i like it. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. i didn't realize i was six-time emmy nominated, i thought it was five. >> jimmy: we made it six, yeah. you've been nominated for an emmy for this appearance on this show tonight! >> do i get the emmy? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: just the nomination. >> yeah, i know i was just nominated. i'll keep losing to rupaul. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, that's right, yes. rupaul wins every single year. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about this vacation you took. >> okay. >> jimmy: you posted a photograph. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you do your podcast "best friends" with zamada from "saturday night live," she is literally your best friend. i've been to this place and i know what this is, but explain what's going on. >> they advertise it as swimming with the pigs. but pigs don't swim. you feed them chicken, chicken hot dogs, and they come at you,
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and they race at you. "gimme that!" you're like, okay. i just want a cute picture. that was fun. the rest of the trip was not good. >> jimmy: well, it's weird. the whole pigs thing is weird. >> it is. >> jimmy: they are very cute. >> did you notice how much they [ bleep ] in the water? [ laughter ] i was like, the fantasy is done, i got to go. >> jimmy: yeah, they're pigs. i mean, it's -- >> what they do. >> jimmy: why they say that about them, yeah. >> oh my god, they were adorable. this airbnb we stayed at was covered in stains. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> it was absolutely disgusting. we were like, we can't stay here. so then my friend christie's boyfriend's best friend's brother, who works at a hotel in the bahamas, got us a room at the comfort inn. and boy oh boy, the comfort inn in the bahamas is just a comfort inn. [ laughter ] not cute. very bad. >> jimmy: was it worse than the airbnb you'd left? >> no, that at least smelled clean. know what i mean. >> jimmy: >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> they use bleach at the comfort inn, i was happy to be
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there. we got to go to atlantis the next day. ugh, ugh! atlantis is full of couples who hate each other. [ laughter ] people who were screaming at each other. also the ugliest [ bleep ] there. [ laughter and applause ] my god. >> jimmy: really? >> oh, just -- ugly families and kids screaming. [ laughter ] you couldn't look anywhere without being like, no! it's just not fun. we did 10,000 steps in one day and only went to the beach and the aquarium. it's huge. >> jimmy: yeah. >> for no reason. >> jimmy: yeah. we were one of the ugly families there. [ laughter ] >> you were? oh. >> jimmy: yeah, we didn't go to atlantis, we went to one of the other ones. >> you weren't an ugly family. you probably went to the four seasons because there's nothing in the middle except for margaritaville. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you go to margaritaville? >> we ended up staying at margaritaville. there are two in the bahamas. why people got to bring their culture on vacation? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. margaritaville.
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>> jimmy buffett, margaritaville! i did like margaritaville. there was a big sandal in the lobby. just a great big sandal. someone was playing the steel drum as loud as possible so we're screaming at the woman, "four nights!" and then the steel drum is never played any other day. [ laughter ] just the day we checked in. >> jimmy: just when you deck in, they do that. >> they're just like, we really want this to be bad for you. [ laughter ] we did make a friend, his name is mr. marley. he was our driver. >> jimmy: oh, that's nice. >> he took us on a tour of bahamas. we got to see dj khaled's house. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> it's like this big, you know? what was i expecting? i was thrown from a jet ski! because my jet ski ran out of gas in the middle of the ocean! >> jimmy: that happened to dj khaled once. >> i'm sure it did, but he had a great big house to go to, i had to go back to margaritaville. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how did you get back when your jet key ran out of
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gas? >> cher and i, exploring, let's look at that island! christopher columbusing.pmy ear! >> jimmy: something fell off. >> that's for you. [ laughter ] we were just what it looks like. >> jimmy: i think i can get it in my ear. is it a clip-on? >> no, it's like a little guy -- there you go. [ cheers and applause ] i like it, that looks nice. doesn't want to stay on you either. oh, boy. >> jimmy: sorry, i interrupted your gas story. >> you looked beautiful. >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> i'll stop for you. >> jimmy: i couldn't resist. >> okay, so we're in the middle of the ocean. we're having a nice time. my jet ski's like -- it just stops. she's like, "should i stay?" i'm like, "bitch, you've got to go get help." [ laughter ] is the earth flat? she was gone for so long. did she fall off? what happened? she comes back with a child. pbecause the company was run by children. it was mr. marley's cousins. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, of course. >> he had the hookup.
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and this child forgot rope. so he's just pulling my jet ski with his hands. and we get to the little alcove, they fill it up, and they're like, "get back on." so i get on, she starts to get on, and that child tried to get on. i was like, we can't do this, a fat, a thin, and a thin, no. you can do a thin and a thin, a fat and a thin, but not a fat, a thin, a thin. the math isn't mathing.pi just . i kind of hunkered down like, not today! then i was thrown in the ocean. it was terrible. and then a new year's eve, we went to go see fireworks. nbody knew where the fireworks were happening. when they finally happened, the server threw her tray, drinks and everything, because she thought it was gunshots, and ducked under the bar. [ laughter and applause ] wild. >> jimmy: wow, this is not a great commercial for a trip to the bahamas. >> uh-uh, no. never go back, no. keep it. it was pretty, though.
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>> jimmy: wow. that's crazy. so this is your second season of your show? >> yeah. >> jimmy: "grand crew." a group of friends -- i'm boiling it down, but that hang out in a wine bar? >> yeah, it's -- you know, professionals. 30-somethings. we talk about love, jobs, our relationships with each other. it's really fun. my character's name is nikki. >> jimmy: is that a coincidence that the character's name is nikki? >> yeah, because my girlfriend's named nicole? it's not a coincidence. my friend phil, who created the show, wrote the part for me. >> jimmy: i see. >> which never happens. so he's like, "i wrote you something." i was like, "thank god, thank you so much." then i just feel so lucky i get to do it. >> jimmy: yeah, well congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you know what, i think -- [ applause ] each season, you'll get better vacations. >> i hope so. i want to go somewhere where it's critical and relaxing and the most exciting thing is someone [ bleep ]s, you know what i mean? [ cheers and applause ] all i want. >> jimmy: i think i know what you mean. season two of "grand crew"
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>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the all-electric mercedes-benz lineup is here. >> jimmy: well, thanks to jon favreau and nicole byer. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next but first -- her album "dirt femme" is out now. here with the song "borderline," tove lo! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ good people do bad things too pretend they don't know ♪ ♪ but they do it takes one to know you're mine ♪ ♪ you and me, we are one of a kind, it's true i like to my feel ♪ ♪ my bones when they crash into my heart i like the taste of blood ♪ ♪ when you're tearin' me apart i like to push you ♪
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♪ to the edge as long as you say you're mine borderline ♪ ♪ hey tonight, for the rest of my life ♪ ♪ i'm gonna be stuck on you hold on 'til i'm makin' it right ♪ ♪ no other love felt like you i can't give it up ♪ ♪ on this fight i cross my heart and hope to die ♪ ♪ borderline tonight, for the rest of my life ♪ ♪ i'm gonna be stuck on you hold on 'til i'm makin' it right ♪ ♪ no other love felt like you i can't give it up ♪ ♪ on this fight i cross my heart and hope to die ♪ ♪ borderline lost in the magic with you a pretty disguise ♪ ♪ from the truth truth is ugly don't open your eyes ♪ ♪ i can change, i can change with just one more lie i like to feel ♪ ♪ my bones when they crash into my heart i like the taste of blood ♪
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♪ when you're tearin' me apart i like to push you ♪ ♪ to the edge as long as you say you're mine borderline ♪ ♪ hey f ♪n hti♪fe be ucon you i crs hrt thoe ♪ tonight, for the rest of my life ♪ ♪ i'm gonna be stuck on you hold on 'til i'm makin' it right ♪ ♪ no other love felt like you i can't give it up ♪ ♪ on this fight i cross my heart and hope to die ♪ ♪ borderline i like to push you ♪ ♪ to the edge as long as you say you're mine borderline ♪ ♪ tonight, for the rest of my life i'm gonna be stuck on you ♪ ♪ hold on 'til i'm makin' it right no other love ♪ ♪ felt like you
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i can't give it up on this fight ♪ ♪ i cross my heart and hope to die borderline ♪ ♪ tonight, for the rest of my life i'm gonna be stuck on you ♪ ♪ hold on 'til i'm makin' it right on this fight ♪ ♪ i cross my heart and hope to die borderline ♪ ♪ ♪ stuck on you felt like you hope to die ♪ ♪ i know i said that i could change ♪ ♪ my madness is beautiful ♪ ♪ i cross my heart and hope to die ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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which are ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, the murdaugh trial. after a jury visit to the family estate-turned-crime scene, closing arguments in the gripping double murder case. >> there is only one person who had the motive, who had the opportunity, and that person is the defendant. >> the true crime saug de that's become an obsession from netflix. >> he wanted to make sure that lips were sealed. >> spectators lining up. >> i've been watching this, and it's just fascinating. >> it has been just like the circus coming to town. >> with testimony from alex murdaugh himself. >> mr. murdaugh, are you a family annihilator? >> a family
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