thanks for watching tonight. and roku. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, courteney cox, and ike barinholtz. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone. thank you, thank you, thank you. welcome. oh, that's very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching, thank you for joining us. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] i'm glad you're here. i have to say, i don't want to ruin anyone's fun. i'm not a fun-ruiner, for the most part. but have you heard about the

diarrhea superbug? it's going around our studio, actually. [ laughter ] the cdc issued a warning identifying a "diarrhea superbug." it's called "shigella" which i thought was a jewish holiday. [ laughter ] "are you coming for shigella?" but it's not. "shigella" is one of the most common sources of diarrhea in the world. just after chipotle. [ laughter ] so the cdc has released some guidelines on how to know if you have it. and they've asked me to read them, to help get the word out. number one, if you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, it's diarrhea. [ laughter ] cha cha cha. number two, if you're running down the hall and you feel something fall, it's diarrhea. cha cha cha. [ laughter ] not sure why they added the cha cha chas, but number three, if you're sliding into first and you feel something burst, it's diarrhea cha cha cha. [ laughter ] that one feels overly specific to baseball players, right? we can't dedicate the whole show to diarrhea, right, guillermo? >> guillermo: that's right,

jimmy. >> jimmy: speaking of diarrhea, tucker carlson of fox news -- [ laughter and applause ] yesterday, we learned that the department of energy believes with what they described as "low confidence" that covid may have leaked from a lab in china. eight federal agencies now have weighed in with their assessments. four believe covid came from natural transmission, two say it was a lab leak, and two are undecided. in other words, we don't know. but the dingbats now see this as some kind of "proof" that they were right, that the virus came from a chinese leak in a laboratory. which, by the way, it might have. the point is, we didn't know then. we still don't know. but what we did know, that trump and his buddies blaming the chinese resulted in a great deal of anti-asian american sentiment and even violence in this country. that's why it was irresponsible for the president to call it the "china virus." but tucker carlson, apparently, disagrees. >> this plague should never have happened.

it could have been stopped, but people chose not to stop it. >> jimmy: what people? tomorrow he'll blame the spanish flu on antonio banderas. >> yeah. imagine if you're a comedian, all of a sudden your cue card has all kinds of talking points from politicians and foreign governments on it. don't read it. you degrade yourself and you become complicit in the greatest crime in history. >> jimmy: isn't that beautiful? [ laughter ] i mean, the idea that this man -- that i would be accused of reading talking points from foreign governments. if it weren't so brazen, it would almost be funny coming from this loathsome, unamerican, moscow mule. >> wait a second, why is it disloyal to side with russia, but loyal to side with ukraine? what is this really about? why do i hate putin so much? has putin ever called me a racist? has he threatened to get me fired for disagreeing with him? for the record, i'm totally opposed to these sanctions, i don't think we should be at war with russia, i think we should

take the side of russia. is he making fentanyl? is he trying to snuff out christianity? does he eat dogs? these are fair questions, and the answer to all of them is no. hold on, why would we take ukraine's side and not russia's side? >> jimmy: there he is, putin's favorite little nesting doll. [ laughter ] accusing me of taking orders from a foreign government. did you know the reason they call him "tucker" is because in high school, he liked to get naked and "tuck" his christmas ornaments -- [ laughter ] he would prance around in front of his grandparents. [ cheers and applause ] they started calling him "tucker." that's what my chinese intelligence tells me. [ laughter ] the good news, i guess, is that tucker doesn't actually believe much of what he says. rupert murdoch just admitted that during the election in 2020, tucker and hannity were on camera stoking claims of voter fraud while privately texting each other saying they knew they weren't true. three years later, fox finally told the truth about how much they lie. because they had to in court. there were two stories.

in one, rupert murdoch acknowledged that fox news hosts knowingly endorsed false stolen election claims. and in another, they leaked confidential information about biden's campaign ads to jared kushner. two very big stories that most certainly had a negative and long-lasting impact on our democracy. let's see how fox news covered those stories today. >> your giggling vice president, kamala harris, strikes again. this time speaking in south carolina about high-speed internet. she broke into another one of those bizarre laughing fits. >> what were the seven dwarves' names? angry? >> a city council meeting in washington state was stopped multiple times by a cat constituent. the feisty feline interrupted everyone. >> from "sweet home, alabama" to "sweet florida," l lynyrd skynyrd is still changing music history. >> two cocktails based on gate.o

believe they've seen a leprechaun, or an elf. >> the pennsylvania teen slathered the whole kitchen in peanut butter. this isn't the first time. he did this three months ago, he did the entire bathroom in peanut butter. >> jimmy: i hope it was peanut butter. could have been that diarrhea superbug. [ laughter and applause ] there was no mention of any of this on fox news today. here's the thing. the reason they're keeping this quiet, it's going to be a shock, because fox news lied to us. oh my god. [ laughter and applause ] guillermo -- are you okay? >> guillermo: yeah, sorry, i'm just drunk, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, you're drunk. of course our crazy ex-president had to weigh in on the fox news news. "why is rupert murdoch throwing his anchors under the table, which also happens to be killing his case and infuriating his viewers, who will again be leaving in droves, they already are. there is massive evidence of voter fraud and irregularities in the presidential election. just look at the documentary

'2000 mules' and you will see large-scale ballot stuffing caught on government cameras, votes cast without legislature's approval, or just recently, the fbi/twitter files scandal, rigged!" that's how he ends every letter now. [ laughter ] happy birthday, eric -- "rigged!" [ laughter ] now fox is fake news too. will somebody get this man some metamucil? his toilet tweets are going on way too long. [ laughter ] today in washington, the justice department briefed the congressional "gang of eight" as they are known on the investigations into the trump, pence, and biden classified document situation. the gang of eight is made up of top democrats and republicans from both chambers. you can recognize them from the little teardrop tattoos they have under their eyes. [ laughter ] we have not heard any indication of what's in those documents yet that trump had in his golf bag and biden had in the glove box on of his corvette. but i thought this was interesting. the officials handling the documents are so familiar with them at this point, they can identify them by smell. biden's smell like bengay, trump's smell like popcorn

shrimp, and mike pence's smell like mother's liz claiborne perfume. [ laughter ] [ applause ] thank you. i did a lot of research to arrive at that particular perfume. [ laughter ] marjorie taylor greene is not part of the gang of eight, thank goodness. [ laughter ] but she had a busy night. she went on twitter to announce -- "i was attacked in a restaurant tonight by an insane women and screamed at by her adult son. they had no respect for the restaurant, the staff, the other people dining, or people like me who simply have different political views. they are self-righteous, insane, completely out of control. i was sitting at my table, working with my staff, and never even noticed these people until they turned into demons. people used to respect others even if they had different views. not anymore. our country is gone." said the woman who literally screamed at the president during his state of the union speech. [ laughter ] but she was attacked --

"attacks" by an insane woman. the woman who attacked her was insane. you know how dogs sometimes see themselves in a mirror and think it's another dog? [ laughter ] marjorie taylor greene isn't the only rat in the house. there are new characters popping up every day, like freshman congressman andrew ogles of tennessee who yesterday admitted that the international relations degree he says he got from middle tennessee state university was actually a degree in "liberal studies." he also claimed to be an economist. turns out he took one community college economics class, and got a "c" in it. [ laughter ] so he claims he made a mistake on his resume. then took a page from george santos when a reporter tried to get him to talk about it. >> how did you forget what your major was in college? sir, don't you think voters deserve an explanation? >> sorry -- >> congressman, we can stop right here and talk to you if you're willing to talk to us. >> jimmy: i like that strategy. try to pretend the reporter isn't there. "is someone talking? i hear something, but --" [ laughter ]

meanwhile, remember that story about george santos being a drag queen? well now, there's a drag queen that's being george santos. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: by the way, that performer's name, drag name anyway, is "meatball." which is a shame because that was going to be my drag queen name. [ laughter ] but i think we owe a debt to george santos. he's finally given us something to agree on. democrats, republicans, and independents all agree that santos should not be a congressman. a new survey says 66% of new york voters want santos to resign, and the other 34% are him in a variety of wigs and mustaches. [ laughter ] right now, the only people who want george santos to remain in

office are the people who work for him and late-night talk show hosts. [ laughter ] to us, he's gold. so i thought it might be nice to catch up with george. we haven't seen him in a few weeks. i think we have him -- george? george? >> let's see -- >> can you hear us? >> two boxes of samoas, four boxes of thin mints. >> jimmy: george? >> so that will be -- let's just make it an even $5000. >> jimmy: wait, george. what are you up to there? george? >> hi. >> jimmy: what are you doing? >> i'm out on this beautiful day dialoguing with my constituents. >> jimmy: it looks like you're posing as a girl scout to sell cookies. >> that sounds crazy, you sound crazy. >> what are you doing? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: george, don't run. i wanted to ask, you claimed you got married on long island. there's no record of it. people have been looking for the records -- >> of course there's no record, the records were destroyed when the volcano erupted. >> jimmy: wait, a volcano erupted on long island? >> yeah, i don't want to talk about this because my mother was killed in the volcano. >> jimmy: oh my god.

>> she passed away dead from the lava. so if you have a shred of human decency, please respect my privacy at this very difficult time. >> jimmy: you claimed your mother died on 9/11. >> i never said "the" 9/11, i said "a" 9/11. >> uber for wifey? >> no, that's whitney, whitney houston. >> jimmy: hold on a second, george -- >> i can't do this, i'm late for my meeting with tyler perry, he's making a movie about me. >> jimmy: what, he's making a movie with you? >> yeah, it's called "madea's list." i wrote it about my black grandmother surviving the holocaust. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, hold on. is it a true story? >> the holocaust? >> jimmy: no. the movie. [ laughter ] >> oh, yeah, yeah, it's true-ish. it's a jew-ish true-ish. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: can i ask, are you okay, congressman? >> i cut my way through the jungles of cambodia, i can cut my way through this! >> jimmy: you fought in the

vietnam war? >> yes, i did, and we lost a lot of good men out there, including my mother. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hang on a minute. that's not -- what is going on here? [ laughter ] hold on, are you -- did you just buy a puppy from an amish guy with a fidget spinner? [ laughter ] george, what is going on with that puppy? >> what puppy? what puppy are you even talking about? >> jimmy: the puppy that we just saw a second ago -- why would you -- [ laughter ] george, george? i'm just trying to ask you -- >> csi: miami! i need to commandeer this sidecar! >> jimmy: he's not with csi: miami. george! you haven't answered my questions about the volcano or the cookies or the puppy or any of this stuff, george? >> i don't have time for this right now, jimmy. i've got to get this thing up to 88 miles an hour. i'm going to go back to 1975. i'm going to get my lava-covered mother and take her to the enchantment under the sea dance. let's hit it, pepe. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh my goodness, all right.

well, you know. we tried. we've got a great show for you tonight. ike barinholtz is here. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll be right back with courteney cox. i'm a screen addicted tween. and, if i'm not posting on social media, i don't feel seen. hey mom. look! mom! oh my god mom. you gotta look at this. nope. keeping my eyes on the road is paying off with drivewise. post about that. bo-ring. oh! say cheese! no, thank you. unblock me! stop! [screech] that was awesome! hey what's your @? i'll tag you. get drivewise from allstate and save 40% for avoiding mayhem like me. what is your intention? ♪ we're here to dominate. ♪ i want so much for you. ♪ how 'bout that? this is the way. ♪ it's part of our story.

♪ i think the murders are connected. ♪ whatever they said we said, we said it. ready for an adventure? ♪ dealdash.com the fair and honest bidding site. this kitchenaid mixer sold for less than $26. this i-pad sold for less than $43. and this playstation 5 sold for less than a dollar. go to dealdash.com right now and see how much you can save. kinder bueno. it's crispy. it's creamy. it's not your average chocolate bar. smooth milk chocolate, crispy wafer, creamy hazelnut filling. it's kinder bueno. what's the #1 retinol brand used most by dermatologists? it's neutrogena® rapid wrinkle repair® smooths the look of fine lines in 1-week, deep wrinkles in 4. so you can kiss wrinkles goodbye! neutrogena®

i have moderate to severe crohn's disease. now, there's skyrizi. ♪ things are looking up ♪ ♪ i've got symptom relief ♪ ♪ control of my crohn's means everything to me. ♪ ♪ ♪ control is everything to me. ♪ feel significant symptom relief with skyrizi, including less abdominal pain and fewer bowel movements at 4 weeks. skyrizi is the first and only il-23 inhibitor for crohn's that can deliver both clinical remission and endoscopic improvement. the majority of people on skyrizi achieved long lasting remission at 1 year. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine or plan to. liver problems may occur in crohn's disease. ask your gastroenterologist how you can take control of your crohn's with skyrizi. ♪ ♪ control is everything to me. ♪ learn how abbvie could help you save.

people who come to cricket stay with cricket! i started my own app company, and with cricket, i'm able to answer calls from my engineers and investors, and know my signal is going to be great. 5g boss-mode activate!

>> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back to the show. tonight, from the highly anticipated "history of the world part 2" on hulu, ike barinholtz is with us. [ cheers and applause ] who's here tomorrow night? tomorrow night, we'll be joined by jon favreau and nicole byer, with music from tove lo. please join us for that. [ cheers and applause ] almost 40 years ago, our first guest left the warmth of her native birmingham, alabama, to

follow her dreams on the mean streets of hollywood. yesterday she received a star on the hollywood walk of fame, and she returns to the role of death-dodging reporter gale weathers in "scream 6." it opens in theaters march 10th. please welcome courteney cox! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? congratulations, by the way. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that's pretty exciting, to get your star on the hollywood walk of fame. i can't believe you didn't have it already. >> i don't know, it was really exciting. i didn't even know how big of a deal it was until i got there and this one reporter said to me, "how does it feel that you have a star? to think that coco's kids will have it forever and walk on it?" i went, "oh, wow, that is beautiful.

and yet that means i'm actually going to die." [ laughter ] mixed emotions. >> jimmy: kind of is a bit of a headstone, isn't it? >> right? >> jimmy: like both of those things. coco, of course, is your daughter. did the whole family come out for this? did they come from back home? >> johnny came out from london. yeah. my: your boyfriend john, - >> my sister virginia came out, and my other sister, dotty. just my brother didn't. >> jimmy: okay, all right. you had a pretty good turnout for this event. >> yes. >> jimmy: my wife actually was there. >> i know. >> jimmy: i'm sorry i wasn't there. i was not able. i know it's only down the block. [ laughter ] i was not able to get there. no, i had some things going on. my wife comes home last night, "oh my god, you've got to hear what happened." will you tell the story about the time you decided to give up? >> oh, okay, yes. well -- my dad thought i should give up, really. what happened was, i hadn't worked in a long time. and i only had enough money to

live about two weeks. i mean, really eat, that was it. so i was talking to my dad, "cece," that's my nickname, "you need to come home. it's a long fall from los angeles to birmingham, and this is time to pack it in. and you are a salesman, you're a damn good salesman, and you need to do what you do best." >> jimmy: what did he want you to sell? >> sell swimming pools. >> jimmy: swimming pools? >> that's my dad's business. by the way, i am pretty good at that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i would imagine you would be. >> i knew i had that as a fallback. i was like, "dad." the next day i got a call saying the audition i'd gone on for "family ties," i got the part as michael j. fox's girlfriend for two years. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: was your dad -- when you said, oh, change of plans, i'm not coming home, was he bummed out that you weren't coming home? >> no. >> jimmy: no, he was excited? >> he loves me, but he -- i mean, he maybe missed me, i'm not sure. but he loved hollywood. he loves movies. he loves television.

anything to do with it. we watched movies, the same one, "ben hur," all those action movies. i forgot -- i can't think of anything. obsessed. the same ones over and over. >> jimmy: now you tell this story, and moments later this happens. >> i also want to thank my beautiful sisters, dottie and virginia, for showing up for me today, flying in here. my mom would have loved this so much, but my dad was obsessed -- wow. sorry, dad. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow, if that isn't a message from the pool business above, i don't know what is. >> it's true. it's like, you could -- one person who is very intuitive, she really kind of is crazily intuitive, she immediately went, "that's her father." molly, she felt it too. molly, i don't know if molly believes in that stuff -- your wife. >> jimmy: it's hard to ignore when something happens at a moment like that, it really is. >> the timing was -- you saw it, it was weird.

>> jimmy: it's pretty weird. who did that water dump onto? >> oh, the paparazzi -- no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: papa dumped it on the razzi, that's what happened. [ laughter ] your friends from "friends" were at the star ceremony. [ cheers and applause ] lisa, jennifer, laura dern, who was not one of the cast of "friends" but they spoke on your behalf. >> their stars are so close. laura is about 10 feet from jennifer, and i'm about 20 feet from them. >> jimmy: yeah. well, that's nice to be in that neighborhood. >> yes. >> jimmy: okay, so this "scream," this is the sixth "scream" movie, hence the title, "scream 6." [ laughter ] ever think about calling it "still screaming" or anything like that? [ laughter ] >> it's a good idea. >> jimmy: "scream on," anything? >> that's a good one. >> jimmy: when you were reading one of these scripts -- i don't know, most everybody who was in the other movies is dead, killed by the -- you know, the guy, right?

>> yeah, i mean -- this new relaunch, there are -- there are four people that -- well, not me. i made it, too. five people that made it from the last one. >> jimmy: okay. >> and then they brought back kirby, hayden panettiere. i actually thought she died, i don't know what "scream" that was. [ laughter ] wen you do this many, you can't keep up. >> jimmy: also on the show "heroes," her character died over and over again but kept coming back to life. >> okay. >> jimmy: that's probably what's confusing you. [ laughter ] do you go through, when you get the script -- i assume they send you the script, it's all done, right? do you go through and skip quickly to see if you're dying in the script? >> absolutely. [ laughter ] first thing you do. did you make it? yeah, the thing is, i can't say whether i live or die. i love asking people, "what do you think happens to gale?" people are so certain. but i don't really read after my character is not in the script. whether she lives or dies, i don't really want to know what happens, so i don't read it.

then i get to go on the set and go, "hm, are you just being a good actor? or are you good at acting to be an actor?" you can't tell. >> jimmy: is that a normal thing to do? [ laughter ] >> i don't always do the read all the time. i take my work seriously. but it's really fun to go see the movie and not have any idea. >> jimmy: yeah, sure, but unless you're in it. [ laughter ] i mean, you know. that's, like, our thing. then your thing is being in it, yeah. we have a clip from the movie. wait till you see this. [ laughter ] >> looks like you're not going to be able to stop this. ♪ ♪ ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, we don't know. is it fun to shoot something like that? >> yeah. i wonder what happened. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: was it a real cast iron pan? >> no. >> jimmy: no, okay, all right. >> it was heavy, though. you know, it's so weird. they have these knives, and -- yeah, of course they're not real, it's too dangerous. but i'm like, dude, that's not retractable. he still stabbed me. that would hurt no matter what. >> jimmy: yeah, they're relatively dangerous, no matter what they tell you. >> they really are. >> jimmy: never listen to anybody, really. >> if i hit you in the head with a big rubber -- it's going to hurt. >> jimmy: please don't do that. [ laughter ] my wife is your number one customer with your candles and your soap and your lotions and all this, whatever stuff you have. >> she's so sweet. >> jimmy: your homecourt products. this is exciting. we found this baby. not really. we didn't find a baby.

there's a baby on tiktok who smells candles, this baby's name is sunday, she smells candles, then she instantly reviews them, decides whether she likes -- well, show the baby. >> oh my gosh. >> jimmy: all right, so this is a very cute baby, obviously. what we did is we sent her four of your candles, okay? so -- and we asked her, would you like to see sunday's review of your candles? >> let me ask you, does she, like -- once she says no, does it go out of business? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i can't imagine it's good for the candles. >> ugh. how many followers does she have? >> jimmy: this is the most powerful baby in the candle industry. [ laughter ]

>> okay. >> jimmy: she could literally ruin you. but i promise, this is not set up. these are the baby's real reactions. we didn't collude with the baby, all right? first candle is this one called "steeped rose." >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: hi. >> jimmy: yes! [ cheers and applause ] steeped rose. that's a winner. the next one is called, neroli leaf. what's that? >> orange blossom. >> jimmy: sounds like weed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes! >> oh, wow, okay. [ applause ] 2 for 2. >> did she say, what else? i think that's a maybe. >> jimmy: what else is, keep the candles coming. >> jimmy: next one is cypress mint? >> cypress.

>> jimmy: spelled cipres. [ laughter ] >> you're right, but -- >> jimmy: did the baby spell these too? [ laughter ] let's take a look. >> jimmy: sorry, courteney. you get an upside down candle for that. finally your nickname, cece. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes. that is very definitive. >> jimmy: we should get that baby and smell the diaper and give it a yes or a no. [ laughter ] when we come back we have something very special. i know you're very sporty. we saw you running around in the "scream" movie. i know you like sports, i know you like to compete. when we come back, this is a real game, it's a real sport. it's televised and everything. it's called "extreme indoor balloon." when we come back, cox versus kimmel ballooning. we'll be right back.

[ upbeat music ] ♪ do your thing ♪ ♪ i said, do your thing ♪ ♪ come on now, let's roll now ♪ ♪ let it all out ♪ ♪ do your thing ♪ ♪ do your thing ♪ ♪ just do your thing ♪ spring moments made easy. that's totally target. jimmy john's new caprese salami pesto. with fresh mozzarella and basil pesto, it'll whisk you away to italy. unlike your all-talk, non-committal ex-boyfriend. mmm, mmm. good riddance. for a limited time. at jimmy john's.

i'm steve, i lost 138 pounds in nine months on golo and taking release. for a limited time. since taking release, my sleep is way better. my inflammation has gone way down. i'm nonstop now, i feel way better than i did before. i don't sit down in life anymore.

they need to be smart... efficient... agile... and that's never been more important than it is right now. so for a limited time, comcast business is introducing small business savings. call now to get powerful internet for just $39 a month, with no contract, and a money back guarantee. all on the largest, fastest, reliable network. from the company that powers more businesses than anyone else. call and start saving today. comcast business. powering possibilities.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ hello, americans, i'm ike barinholtz, and welcome to xtmendr lln,al showdition." [ cheers and applause ] and what a matchup. first up, we have an influencer, nurse practioner, and heir to the hormel salami fortune, jimmy kimmel! [ ppla

>> jimmy's opponent tonight, actress, tennis enthusiast, and candle magnate, courteney cox! [ cheers and a let's go down to our referee cousin sal to lay out the rules. >> jimmy: here he comes. >> sal: the rules are very simple. each player will receive a point when his or her opponent fails to stop the balloon from hitting the ground, okay? when you hit the balloon, you can only do it with your hand. you can only do it once and in an upward fashion. let me see upward. okay, all right, good enough. [ laughter ] none of this baby stuff, jimmy. hit it a meter off the ground, be a gentleman for crying out loud. >> jimmy: you've got to be like three feet, you can't just go -- >> sal: i said a meter, three feet, whatever you want to do. here's the deal. two minutes on the clock. whoever has the most points will be declared the winner. after that, i want a clean game, i want a fair game. no one hitting each other. this is a priceless family heirloom, so stay away. >> jimmy: this is the boundary, the rug?

>> sal: sure, out of bounds is there. >> jimmy: you've got to keep it inbounds, courteney. >> sal: yeah, keep it unbounds. >> i'm so nervous. >> jimmy: you should be nervous. >> wait, wait, wait. just hit it up? >> jimmy: you hit it up, and here we go. >> announcer: and we are ballooning! cox with strong hit. can't recover, that's a nice hit right there. jimmy's got it covered, he's not worried, he's not sweating. courteney hits a backward bump. backward backward bump. she did it, she did it! jimmy kimmel wins one point. we've got a match, folks. >> jimmy: all right. here we go. >> sal: that's all right. >> didn't you actually go that way? it's over, that's it. >> jimmy: what, you want to go this way? >> announcer: they're switching sides. >> jimmy: ready? >> announcer: and we are ballooning. it's going behind him. courteney's too smart for that. she's going this way and jimmy is there to meet her. and here comes the patented kimmel kick. no, it's a hit. he went with a hit. oh!

it's going off set, out of bounds! >> jimmy: oh my goodness, oh, courteney. oh, courteney, you're out of bounds. >> sal: all right. >> i forgot about the carpet. >> sal: 1:28 left. >> announcer: and we are ballooning. back towards the couch. jimmy's getting on the couch, i've never seen this done before! here comes courteney, but jimmy's right there with the recovery. it's going back. oh my goodness, that is a -- that is a flying balloon, folks, right there. oh, oh! oh, oh -- courteney's got it, courteney's got this one covered. jimmy, which way is he going, folks? that small little baby hit. that is a dirty play right there. it's going back. courteney cox is there, she's got it. guillermo! here comes guillermo. >> jimmy: oh my goodness! >> announcer: now we have some more interference as guillermo -- [ laughter ] going for the chips back there, he's not getting out of anyone's way. snack up, guillermo. there you go. courteney with another hit. jimmy's waiting for it. give it all up. she'll get there, she will. guillermo -- we have an interference right there.

courteney is going to hit it back toward the sofa. oh, the no-look from kimmel and it's met by cox. kimmel to cox to kimmel. oh, you brought up the cactus -- oh! oh my goodness, right there. >> sal: it was not a meter, it was not a meter! >> announcer: we got 2-1. 2 to kimmel, 1 -- >> jimmy: this is a real cactus. all right, courteney. >> announcer: guillermo is still eating chips. >> jimmy: guillermo, why are you eating chips in our way? >> guillermo: i'm hungry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> announcer: and we are ballooning! better moves, funny man. behind the couch. she did it. oh, a soft hit. a soft hit. and courteney cox keeps it in play. jimmy matching -- guillermo still walking around, he has no idea what the hell's going on. get out of the way, guillermo. oh, oh, oh!

[ buzzer ] [ cheers and applause ] >> sal: final score, 2-1, the winner, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thanks, everybody. oh, courteney, you were so close. >> i didn't even need to dive for that. yours is going out. >> jimmy: it doesn't matter. you know what, the important thing is we had fun. [ laughter ] right? >> we did. did we? >> jimmy: well, i did, anyway, for sure. >> i did. >> announcer: that's the action for tonight here in liquid-plumr foaming pipe stink arena. jimmy will be right back with beloved actor and master of sex, ike barinholtz! we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: courteney cox, everybody. "scream 6" opens in theaters march 10th. we'll be right back with ike. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by orville redenbacher's microwave popcorn. movie night isn't complete without orville redenbacher. two great danes?! i know. giant uncle dane and his giant beard.

maybe a dragon? no, dragons are boring. twin sisters! and one is a robot and one is a knight. and i'll be on the side of... the octopus. rawr!!! the volkswagen atlas. more room for possibilities. ♪ remix your routine. make it a hidden valley ranch night. ♪

[snoring] meet with an expert who'll do them for you, so you can do... ...not taxes. intuit turbotax. 100% expert guaranteed. kinder bueno. it's crispy. it's creamy. it's not your average chocolate bar. smooth milk chocolate, crispy wafer,

creamy hazelnut filling. it's kinder bueno.

>> lou: tomorrow on "jimmy kimmel live" --

i'm lindsey vonn, and ever since i retired from skiing, i've had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep— you know, insomnia. before i found quviviq, an fda-approved insomnia medication for adults, you would not believe the things i used to think about when i couldn't sleep. hey, linds. i need you to sign this business contract. all 114 pages. lindsey! lindsey! hey, lindsey! it's workout time. hey, big man, we're in the middle of something here. yeah, it's called physical fitness. just a couple dozen more questions, lindsey. don't forget to pack your phone charger for tomorrow morning's flight. it's plugged in right over there. lindsey? quviviq helps you get more sleep. and when taken every night, sleep continued to improve over time. that's why i take quviviq nightly. quviviq works differently than medication

you may have taken in the past. quviviq is thought to target one of the biological causes of insomnia: overactive wake signals. do not take quviviq if you have narcolepsy. don't drink alcohol while taking quviviq or drive or operate heavy machinery until you feel fully alert. quviviq may cause temporary inability to move or talk or hallucinations while falling asleep or waking up. quviviq may cause sleepiness during the day. quviviq may lead to doing activities while not fully awake that you don't remember the next day, like walking, driving and making or eating food. worsening depression, including suicidal thoughts, may occur. most common side effects are headaches and sleepiness. it's quviviq. ask your doctor if it's right for you. ♪ ♪ experience the feel of a dentist's clean at home. with oral-b.

round cleans better by surrounding each tooth. so clean, you'll feel like you just left the dentist. ♪ what you waiting for? ♪ oral-b. brush like a pro. ♪ come and get it. ♪ people who come to cricket stay with cricket. i run a biotech design company and my cricket hot spot allows me to stay connected to my team and my clients as i travel. now that's 5g with a view. oh ms. flores, what would we do without you? leader of many, and pet wrangler too. you report to your boss, every afternoon. so beautiful. so becoming a student again might seem impossible. hello mi amor. but what if a school could be there for all of you? career, family, finances and mental health. well, it can. national university. supporting the whole you. ♪ giorgio, look! the peanut butter box is here. ralph, that's the chewy pharmacy box

with our flea and tick meds. it's not peanut butter. ♪ the peanut butter box is here ♪ i'm out. pet prescriptions delivered to your door. chewy. what's the #1 retinol brand pet prescriptions delivered to your door. used most by dermatologists? it's neutrogena® rapid wrinkle repair® smooths the look of fine lines in 1-week, deep wrinkles in 4. so you can kiss wrinkles goodbye! neutrogena® i'm here for- your annual eye exam. because i'm having trouble- reading? exactly. they sort of make me feel... like i'm the most fabulous thing you've ever seen? exactly. i'll take 'em. ♪

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: wow. welcome back. our next guest is a very funny actor, comedian, writer, and the newly crowned king of "celebrity jeopardy!" now he teams up with the great mel brooks for the long-awaited "history of the world part 2." the four-night event starts march 6th on hulu. please welcome ike barinholtz. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: hold on, let me position that so we can really take it in. two champions on one show together, it's amazing, you and i. [ laughter ] congratulations. that is -- you're excited about that, right? >> very. first of all, to my fellow jews, happy shigella. [ laughter ] very excited to win "celebrity jeopardy!" i've been carrying this around with me everywhere. i am now allowed to board early on domestic flights. [ laughter ] along with active military personnel. >> jimmy: i did not know that, perks. >> the other day i got in front of this veteran. [ laughter ] he said, "what are you doing? you shouldn't be doing this." i said, "excuse me, sir.

i didn't serve but i beat patton oswalt in trivia, now get out of my way." >> jimmy: well, sure, yeah. >> and he whipped my ass all the way down the gate. right in front of my kids. i was begging. >> jimmy: it was you against patton. how much did you beat patton by? >> we went "trading places" style, $1. >> jimmy: how many celebrities were in the tournament? >> i think you're looking at -- hold on, give me a second. what is 27? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 27. did you -- were there any you particularly enjoyed beating? >> well, i mean, i knew patton was going to be a problem early on. >> jimmy: he's smart. >> pretty smart man. i played jalen rose, who's a great guy, and i won. so i now can say i beat the fab five. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you beat at least one of the fab five. you're going to be on, also, the tournament of champions, the real one. >> yes. >> jimmy: the celebrity "jeopardy!" is easy, right? comparatively.

>> celebrities have this part of their brain that noncelebrities can use to retain information, but celebrities need that part to know how to stand on a red carpet. [ laughter ] you know. >> jimmy: get the free stuff on instagram? >> yes. influence. >> jimmy: uh-huh, yes. >> so the questions are easier lest they embarrass a celeb, and i can't think of a worst thing than a celebrity being embarrassed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: literally the worst thing that can ever happen in the world. >> it is. >> jimmy: you're going to be playing against the how many top champions? >> oh, man, i don't know how many they're going to have, but they're all smarter than me by a vast margin. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is your goal to win or just not be eliminated first? >> my goal would be to not be the first one out, but the second one out. >> jimmy: the second one out? >> the second one out, i will sleep like a baby that night, my friend. >> jimmy: have you decided which of your children, your three children, will get this trophy when, god forbid, you pass away? >> well, we have decided, like king solomon, i will divide it into three parts.

>> jimmy: oh. >> and they can do whatever they want with it. >> jimmy: i like that. >> i like how you're pretending to care about my children. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why do you say that? >> we have a problem, don't we? >> jimmy: well, i don't have a problem. >> you don't, i have a problem with you. folks? last time i was here, jimmy told you all about how our children go to the same school. how they have a fund-raiser every year where the money goes to the teachers. one of the things that they auction off is a parking spot in front of the school. >> jimmy: the only parking spot. >> the only parking spot. so you don't have to wait in line like the rest of the losers when they're dropping their kids off. you can zip right up there, park in your spot, and i got it. they put up a nice little sign. they put up a little sign that said, "no parking." yeah, you should clap for that it's a nice gesture. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very welcoming, yeah. >> yeah. and so -- >> jimmy: how many years did you have that? didn't you get it a couple of years in a row? >> two, three years in a row. not to drop names, charlize had

it before me, then i had it. anyways, last year for the auction, i placed my bid. and i got outbid right away. and i placed my bid, i got outbid right away. i turned to my wife and said, "it's happening." [ laughter ] i found out that jimmy got the spot. and -- do you have a picture of what the new sign says? there we go, that's nice. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was the sign that i had installed. >> look at that. i mean, who? who does that? [ laughter ] like, who -- jigsaw from the "saw" franchise? a sick guy, folks. >> jimmy: i told my wife, there's no amount too high for me not to win this parking spot. >> i know, i know, you got it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the best thing is even your wife was allowed to park in that spot. >> anyone could park. >> jimmy: i opened it up to the whole school, with one notable exception. >> it's 8:11 a.m., i'm dropping

off my kid, i haven't even digested my food yet. other parents are pulling in, "ha ha, i got your spot!" [ laughter ] anyways. >> jimmy: well -- >> like donald trump, i am going after you. >> jimmy: oh, you are? >> yes. you know what, if he decides to make putting you in prison one of his campaign platforms, i will vote for him. [ laughter ] [ applause ] see jimmy at guantanamo bay! >> jimmy: that seems extreme. >> you're going to gitmo, folks. >> jimmy: i have to say, i'm very envious of you because you got to do this project with mel brooks, who is maybe the funniest person in the whole world, right? >> ever, ever, yeah. >> jimmy: he is a legend. he made "history of the world part 1." of course many, many movies. "history of the world part 1" is one we all saw. how many times have you seen that movie? >> 100. >> jimmy: 100 times? >> yes. 100 times. >> jimmy: many times. he comes to you, wanda sykes, and nick kroll, "we want to do history of the world part 2." or did you go to him and say that?

>> no, i was brought into the project by nick kroll. "do you want to do history of the world part 2 with mel brooks?" i was like, is this crank anchors? what's going on? what's happening? sure enough, we were in a zoom with mel a couple of weeks later. just having him laugh at your jokes, which is, like, the light of god shining upon your face. >> jimmy: it really is, right? >> a wonderful thing, yes. >> jimmy: the best thing you could imagine. now you guys get to make this -- you're a history guy? >> i'm a huge history nerd. >> jimmy: that plays into all of this too. >> it's surreal. >> jimmy: you go through, you decide, one of the characters you play repeatedly is ulysses s. grant. >> yes. >> jimmy: and -- >> one of our hottest presidents, i think we could all agree. [ laughter ] the man was a fox. >> jimmy: back then, oh, yeah. >> oh my god. he was an 1863 "10." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and the conceit, and i don't know if this is based in any truth, but the conceit is that lincoln tells him, what, that he can't drink?

>> abe lincoln is concerned that he was drinking too much because he was constantly passing out on his horse and stuff. so lincoln's like, you cannot drink. we thought it would be a fun story for him to go off on a little booze mission. and the whole series, basically, is just this man trying to get some whiskey. and -- yeah. >> jimmy: in this clip -- is this a -- well, this is kind of the -- i don't want to spoil the ending. >> the north won. >> jimmy: the north won. [ laughter ] >> just fyi. >> sorry i'm late, but i'm here now in my uniform. why don't we sign this treaty and end this war, right? there we go. right here. you're up. >> this is truly the most difficult thing i have ever been called on to do -- >> just go ahead and sign it. >> i pray that this never happens again -- >> next -- >> as a boy, my father taught me -- >> fight, fight, sign to end the war, yeah! who wants a drink?

[ cheers and applause ] >> funny. when we were telling mel, oh, we're going to have this civil war thing. he goes, appomattox, when robert e. lee bends over to sign the treaty, his sword has to hit all of his men in the balls. we're like, all right. that's in the show on hulu. >> jimmy: how great is that? you're doing a four-part deal, releasing an episode each night over the course of four nights. >> starts monday. >> jimmy: mel -- we have that photograph of mel at the premiere. was this last night? >> yeah, last night here in hollywood. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at him, god bless him. >> he's 96 years old. he gets up on stage, looks at this big audience, "i just want to say, it's wonderful to be ri the car and i was listening to the radio and looking at you all. i want you to know that they're expecting scattered showers the next two days and the low pressure front is moving in from canada." [ laughter ]

i was like, oh my god, he's so funny. >> jimmy: unbelievable, right? well, sorry about the whole parking spot thing. i hope that we can smooth that over next year. >> after a little bit of litigation, we'll figure the whole thing out. [ laughter ] i'm excited to be the new host of this show. it's happening. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm excited for that too. ike barinholtz, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "history of the world part 2" premieres monday on hulu. we'll be right back.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ you can beat it! ♪ visit youcanbeatit.org or call 833-422-4255 to ask for medication to treat covid-19.

>> jimmy: oh, hey, welcome back. i want to thank courteney cox. courteney, i have to say, what a gamer she was. unfortunately, she didn't prevail in the end. who did win that game? you were the guy. >> i believe the winner was you, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, thank you very much for mentioning that, ike. ike barinholtz. watch his show "history of the world part 2." it premieres monday on hulu. thanks to nelson franklin for performing as george santos so beautifully. apologies to matt damon, we did run out of time for him, he will be rescheduled in the future. "nightline" is next. thanks for watching, good night!

♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, air scares. from a passenger attack on a cross-country flight -- >> i'm taking over this plane! >> to smoke in the cabin. >> evacuate, evacuate! >> extreme turbulence and clipped wings. just how safe are the skies? >> on any given day, 45,000 flights in the u.s. we've gone 14 years without fatal commercial passenger accident. >> the wisdom from one pilot who pulled off a miracle. >> we make it look easy but it's not, it's hard. it requires diligence and dedication. adam lambert. a breakout "american idol" star with "bohemian rhapsody." more tha