tonight, 20 years later, the u.s.-led invasion of iraq and the images of the shock and awe campaign might be distant memories for many americans, but not for those who served. >> all the elements of war were present that day. >> abc news embedded with marine battalion fox 2/5 and revisited with them to discuss the war and the wounds that have yet to heal. there are more of us that died by suicide in my unit than were killed in iraq. >> remembering the fallen. >> i loved him. he meant a lot to me. >> what were the lessons learned? plus, retired four-star general david petraeus, who helped lead the war. >> my greatest regret is iraq has still not fulfilled the hopes that certainly we had, but

more importantly, that the iraqis had. >> this special edition of "nightline," "iraq: 20 years later" will be right back. ent didn't actually get 'em clean. but new cascade platinum plus has me doing dishes... differently. with double the dawn grease fighting power and double the scrubbing power. so you can load this, and get this. new cascade platinum plus. dare to dish differently. my most important kitchen tool? my brain. so i choose neuriva plus. unlike some others, neuriva plus is a multitasker supporting 6 key indicators of brain health. to help keep me sharp. neuriva: think bigger.

you didn't choose your hairline. hot flashes, the flu, or that thing when your knee just gives out for no reason. you didn't choose your bad back or this. or... that. you didn't choose depression, melanoma, or lactose intolerance. but with kaiser permanente you can choose your doctor who works with other best-in-class specialists to care for all that is you. good evening. thank you for joining us. the war in iraq 20 years later. the standard objective to remove saddam hussein, free his people from dictatorship, and destroy

alleged weapons of mass destruction. at first more than 70% of americans supported it. but that waned as the mission became mired in controversy, eventually falling to just 32%. saddam was eventually captured nine months into the invasion. but the war raged on for eight years, killing hundreds of thousands of iraqi civilians and more than 4,000 u.s. military forces. weapons of mass destruction were never found. leading to allegations of faulty intelligence and misinformation. the war ultimately costing american taxpayers $2 trillion. abc news was there when a marine battalion shipped out to fight this war, witnessing traumatic moments along the way. while public perception of the war has evolved over time, the scars of those who fought it has remained. these are some of their stories. we warn you, this includes discussions of suicide and may be difficult for some. >> 20 minutes, folks!

you have about 20 minutes for your goodbyes. >> ft.orter: they were part of >> reporter: the 206 marines of fox 2/5 company from camp pendleton, california, barely adults back then. >> everybody is ready to go. i couldn't be with a better team. >> reporter: preparing for the invasion of iraq in march 2003, launched as part of the war on terror. >> we will tear down the apparatus of terror, and we will help you to build a new iraq that is prosperous and free. >> reporter: from training for combat to battling their way towards baghdad, abc news documenting every step of fox 2/5's journey into the unknown, holding true to their slogan, the few, the proud. >> we had driven right into an ambush. >> reporter: suffering the ultimate loss along the way. >> keep it going, first sergeant. keep it going, big guy, keep it going. >> he has a pulse.

it's kind of getting weak. >> reporter: 20 years ago, their mission in 2008 kuwait was off to a slow start, standing by for official orders. ick ither. >> reporter: 21-year-old lance corporal josh heisel performing at a military talent show. ♪ will bum a cigarette ♪ >> i still just remember it being this one evening for a minute, because it was such a good time that you almost forgot. >> thanks a lot, fox. thanks everybody else. >> reporter: 21-year-old corporal michael elliott reading a book his mother had slipped in his pack. >> it's called "don't sweat the small stuff: simple ways to keep yourself cool in stressful times." and i figured the next few months of my life will probably be the most stressful times i've ever endured. >> i have empathy for that kid that i see that just wanted to serve his country and didn't know the ramifications of that. >> reporter: and 32-year-old captain terry johnson. with no prior battlefield experience, the measured and steady commander of fox 2/5.

>> if you haven't experienced combat, you don't know how things are going to go. >> war is a very serious undertaking and has consequences 2nd battalion, 4th marines. >> reporter: ale all these years later, always semper fi. always faithful. do you believe america's involvement in the war in iraq was worth the price paid? >> i think it was worth it. clearly saddam was a bad individual, was a dictator of classic proportions, was extremely brutal to his people. >> reporter: but even faith can erode with time. >> the war took a big toll on my life. the military and war through me into the deep end. >> have i all this gear on and all this cool stuff on. >> reporter: the young marines now full adults, once again sharing their journeys. captain johnson completed many more deployments in iraq. >> it's never been a job. it's always been very natural. i'm very grateful for this profession. >> reporter: corporal heisel

finished one more deployment, leaving two weeks after his wife gave birth to their first child. >> i felt guilt for being there at all, leaving my ride or die lady back here with the kid and going and doing this. >> reporter: though he still plays his guitar, the tune is different. ♪ i was staring ♪ >> once you start to question why you're there, you can't stop doing it. every mission, every thing we did, kicking doors in, disrupting people's lives, bagging people's heads, bagging the dude's head and dragging him out over the house while his kids are standing there screaming. for what? what are we doing? >> reporter: corporal elliott now father to a young daughter still keeps that copy of "don't sweat the small stuff." >> the solution is to notice what's happening in your head. >> reporter: the book's message guiding him long after combat. >> i've had a few low points in my journey of just wellness and healing since getting out of the marines.

that journey includes getting a dui at some point. i was feeling so low and disconnected, i didn't know where to go. i had no identity other than marine. >> reporter: upon returning from iraq, he retired his marine uniform. >> i chose to discharge. i did not want to go back to war. >> my experience in iraq just involved witnessing suffering after suffering. how do have i meaning in my life when i felt really powerless in iraq? i felt trapped. >> they're engaging at 10:00. >> reporter: even after all this time, that suffering is never distant. april 4th, another anniversary seared in their minds. >> first sergeant ed smith was a leader that i admire and i'm trying to model being a father

after the way he looked after his marines. he was more concerned about having everybody come home. >> we came out with 206. i want to go home with 206. >> reporter: for first sergeant ed smith, there weren't supposed to be any more deployments. his retirement papers had been submitted. but when the war started, he put that discharge on hold. >> fox company has been training very hard. our motivation, it's been there. >> reporter: the unit had been making their way towards baghdad when they were suddenly caught in heavy fire. >> all the elements of war were present. it was a hellacious day. >> go! >> reporter: fox 2/5, forced to stop right next to an ammunition dump going up in flames. >> get past it, don't stop. get past it. get past it! >> we're all standing up, exposed. he made the call to have everybody get back in the vehicles.

and that selfless act is what put himself in danger, and he had been in the head by shrapnel. and it rendered him pretty much lifeless. >> keep it going, first sergeant. >> reporter: first sergeant smith became one of the 4,000 u.s. military to die in combat in iraq. >> we just all of us just -- nobody spoke. nobody said anything. >> this wasn't just seeing death, this was knowing death. > knowing death. not only knowing death, i loved him. he meant a lot to me. >> reporter: for first sergeant ed smith's family, the pain never fades. >> i was so young, and i didn't quite understand what, you know, that entailed about him going overseas and fighting in the war. i was very used to him being gone, so it didn't feel different. i'm sorry. >> reporter: shelby robinson was 8 years old when her father

passed away. >> then we have my birthday here. i think i was sharing it with my cousin. i'm sitting on my dad's lap. i know he loved what he did. he loved being a marine, and i think he would do it again, even if it turned out the same way. >> why would someone who knows out there for him, a family ife- waiting for him, would make the choice to go back into harm's way. >> this is going to sound strange, but it's love. it's love of your fellow marine. we all appreciate -- it's unspoken the danger, the risk involved, the risk that's inherent in our profession. >> reporter: for some, that constant danger always being on edge, creating a new kind of battle when returning to civilian life. >> we were used to living in the extremes. everything i did in combat is not going to work in civilian life. now i have to relearn again, and how do i take care of myself?

i want to drink. i'm going to numb myself. i'm going to drink until i pass out. some of my lowest points i've wanted to not be here anymore. there are more of us that died by suicide in my unit than were killed in iraq. >> i just was thinking i'm a burden on my family. i'm a burden on my wife, my kids. i abused alcohol. i've tried to find whatever way i could to find happiness, peace, serotonin, whatever i could find, you know. >> reporter: after the war, at least three fox 2/5 marines died by suicide. and one of them is in prison for murder after allegedly suffering from ptsd. >> i think the nation didn't know what to do with a fresh round of combat veterans. what's the rule back for transitioning home? >> reporter: these marines are a snapshot of an alarming reality for american vets. just in 2019, 17 veterans died by suicide every single day. about 30% of veterans who fought

in iraq and afghanistan have been diagnosed with life-time ptsd. nearly 13% of homeless adults are veterans. do you ever regret having served as a marine? >> you know, i tried to regret it, because i did terrible things. i don't regret it though. and i got to say, it's weird. it's something else. i regret all that happened. >> reporter: after leaving the marines, heisel went to college, landed a dream job in local government, had a second child. ♪ is making music with his 18-year-old son. tell me about your track "killer." what's the significance of that song? ♪ i'm a killer, a killer of men ♪ >> it's really just -- it's me proclaiming the truth. it's saying i'm a killer. and i had a therapist when i first got back. once you admit that you are a killer, you did kill people, move on. there is not anything i can do

about it. when you are going to war, it's unchangeable history. >> reporter: how are you now, 20 years later? >> i'm pretty good. i had to take care of some stuff, though. it's tough, man. >> reporter: captain johnson, the son of a marine, has risen through the ranks, now a colonel, he will retire soon. >> you learn that you need to be careful and choose your battles wisely. so i think there is some wisdom that warriors learn that war is a high-stakes serious undertaking. >> reporter: elliott went on the graduate college and is a physical therapist rehabilitation specialist. >> even with support and all the encouragement from my friends, it's only been a couple of years since, i mean even recently where i've experienced this inner peace. >> reporter: the first sergeant's daughter, shelby, is now a police officer, pursuing the career her father was planning to join. after iraq. >> my dad definitely inspired me to become a police officer, and that makes me feel very close to

him, thinking about him. and i definitely think he is watching over me out there. >> reporter: watching over his loved ones as much as his marines watch over him. first sergeant smith forever memorialized at camp pendleton, the place where it all started 20 years ago. what goes through your mind, your heart when you? >> you know, it's tough. you like to remember these individuals who loved their profession. this is where they wanted to be, with their units. >> reporter: no greater friend, no worst enemy goes the marine motto. because of their sacrifice, most americans will never know the true cost of war. do you think the u.s. has learned any lessons since the iraqi invasion? >> no, i don't think so. americans -- civilians didn't learn anything because their lives didn't change at all. >> the relief of coming home, but also with the pain and the sorrow of experiencing war and what that looked like. and it breaks my heart that the journey for some post military

service has gottenven diffult.. d yohave to cide iit's worth it. >> if you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, free confidential help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. call or text the national lifeline at 988. even if you feel like it, you're not alone. we'll be right back. when moderate to severe ulcerative colitis keeps flaring, put it in check with rinvoq, a once-daily pill. when uc got unpredictable, i got rapid symptom relief with rinvoq. and left bathroom urgency behind. check. when uc got in my way, i got lasting, steroid-free remission with rinvoq. check. and when my gastro saw damage, rinvoq helped visibly repair the colon lining. check. rapid symptom relief. lasting, steroid-free remission. and a chance to visibly repair the colon lining.

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joi joining me now, retired four-star general david petraeus. he spent most of the war in and out of iraq and was in charge of commanding the multinational forces. general, thank you so much for joining us. we're grateful for your time. first question to you, sir. we just heard about some of the emotional trauma that these veterans of the iraq war are still going through. do you think the u.s. is well equipped to take care of them, and are we doing enough? >> i don't think we can ever do enough, frankly, for those who volunteered at a time of war, served, and often did multiple tours in iraq or in afghanistan. they really should be regarded as america's new greatest generation. and frankly, i feel a deep appreciation, again, a personal gratitude for the opportunity to have served with these great young men and women in uniform. again, all of them volunteers at a time of war. >> in 2007, you were appointed to command the multinational

force in iraq and put in place plans for a troop surge of 30,000 soldiers. that year proves to be one of the deadliest on record. you were sharply criticized at the time for the troop surge. when you look back on it, do you wish you had done things differently? >> i actually thought we got it right during the troop surge. we drove violence down by some 85 to 90% during the 18 months of the surge, and i commanded it a bit longer than that. we gave the iraqis a wonderful new opportunity. they did well with it for the subsequent 3 1/2 years until tragically, very soon after our final combat forces departed, the prime minister pursued ruinous sectarian actions and allowed the islamic state to reconstitute itself. >> it's been estimated that iraq lost hundreds of thousands of civilians and close to 4500 americans were killed. we now live at a time 20 years later where there is a generation of americans who have no real appreciation for what happened, but those families always will.

so for them, was it worth it? >> i leave that question to others, byron. and for a very significant reason. and that is that i wrote more letters of condolence i think to america's mothers and fathers than any other commander, having commanded there for some four years as a two, three and four-star, including during the surge in iraq. they actually share a degree of pride in what their soldiers did. >> for you, 20 years later, your greatest regret? the thing you're most proud of? >> the greatest regret is that iraq has still not fulfilled the hopes that certainly we had. but more importantly, that the iraqis had when we toppled the saddam hussein regime. iraq is still very much a work in progress. political nepotism, corruption, terrible bureaucracy, inadequate basic services, despite having extraordinary blessings.

there is some modest progress, would be.e end of thuny isotweo and then the source of greatest pride really is what our young men and women in uniform and our coalition and iraqi partners and our diplomatic intelligence and development partners did during the surge in iraq. >> thank you for your time and your service. continued grace to you. god speed. >> a privilege, byron. thank you. >> and we'll be right back with the final thought. no. do you have the assets? it's all here, as we discussed. (whispering) i'm in position. - should we get some lunch? sounds good. i'm famished. if you're an undercover agent, you need to be undercover. and if you want to save by bundling home and car insurance, you need geico. riley, get out of there. (whispering) in pursuit. see how much you could save by bundling with geico.

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and finally tonight, it's been 20 years since the war in

iraq was started. much was learned. too much was lost. to those whose loved ones gave their full measure to our nation, their sacrifice and yours will never be forgotten. to all who put on the uniform, each of us owe you a debt we can never repay. and to you all, welcome home. that's "nightline" for this evening. thanks for the company, america. good night.