tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 28, 2023 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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we have many spring breakers in the audience tonight. [applause] >> jimmy: we are less than two weeks away from easter, u.s. customs announced they're cracking down on eggs. if you are traveling from abroad, there is a limit on how many eggs you can bring into the country and that limit is 12 eggs -- you are allowed to bring one dozen, decorated eggs, that's it. if you want to bring more, you have to put the rest inside of you. the reason is they're trying to stop the spread of avian diseases like the bird flu virus because it is very weird to travel with eggs. [laughter] >> jimmy: you know those chat bot, they have the ability to arrange for us. chat pgt, can buy things. this is how the robots are going to get us. they'll get us by booking us middle seats on spirit
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airlines, with just enough layovers to make us go insane. [applause] >> jimmy: oh, speaking of chat bots, elon musk just announced starting april 15th, if you want to keep your blue check mark, you have to pay twitter $8 a month, which will enroll you in an exclusive club of people, dumb enough to pay twitter $8 a month. those who got their check marks for free will start losing them starting april 1st. that includes me, i have had a check mark for many - i am not sure how i feel about it. i think it is like losing my v virginity and i am just happy that nobody cares, i am glad i didn't have to pay for it. [applause] >> jimmy: this is one of them, jimmy kimmel 05. less fortunate. that's me, all right. it is me or red barron
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frozen pizzas, i don't know. this one is jimmy kimmel, there is a lot of numbers there. this is my real personal account. [laughter] >> jimmy: that's my social security number, this is is jimmy underscore, second official account. dm me your e-mail, let's talk on hang out. let's go places and do things. this is j-kimmel posum. we have this guy, this is interesting. he's not pretending to be me but he kind of looks like my father who's also james kimmel. he looks a lot like my father but he's not my father, i think? i go back to the other guy. [laughter] >> jimmy: one of these men is my father and now maury is retired, i may never know which one. it is day seven of the
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ongoing drama to catch the president, donald trump announced he'll be arrested a week ago today. he remains unwanted man, seven days later. the grand jury in new york is not expected to convene tomorrow which means the earliest they can vote on an indictment is next week. in the meantime, trump has been busy saying good-bye to old friends. last night he threw quite a pity party on his pal, hannity. >> i have tapes of the raid and the raid is terrible. the way they treated people is terrible. i have the right to look at stuff. i didn't say do something bad, i said i am afraid that people will do something bad because people are really angry about it. i never had an affair with her. it is all made up. look at what they say about russia, russia, russia hoax. that's a fake news media show. this is election interference. how could you look at me
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with the boxes, he came to see, he would have never gotten the nomination. he would be working at a pizza place or a law office right now. >> jimmy: save it for yourself, mcdonald. we don't want to hear it anymore. the review from his foxy friends were not stellar. >> i voted for donald trump twce. i defended him countless times. i thought he was horrific, i think that was the worse interview. he was whiney and complaining and he played the victim cards time and time again and he complained that somebody he endorsed running against him. i thought he was absolutely horrific. he's the former president of the united states, act like it. >> jimmy: well, if that does not get the ketchup flying
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at mar-a-lago, i don't know what well. chris christie is planning to run against him. he's planning to next two months to decide whether he'll run. they used to be friends. he was trump's debate coach. maybe they're still friends. maybe the reason chris christie running against him is to make trump looks thin. another former trumper is likely to run again is former boss, mike pence, a federal judge ordered mother little helper to testify about conversations he had with trump leading to the riot at the capitol on january 6th. one of the things pence could be questioned about is whether it is true trump called him the p word for not doing his bidding to help steal the election. boy, i would give anything to be a fly on his head when that happens. the only person who has not been ordered to testify against donald trump is donald trump himself. joe biden is bouncing along and revving up the old campaign, he's got some
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extra pep in his steps and scoring under his teeth. the president is traveling the country on a three-week invest in america tour, he's visiting over 20 states to remind us he's getting stuff done. the president is excited about this trip. you can feel that excitement. he released announcing this multi-city tour. >> hello, kiddoes, we got folks to invest in america. when i was a kipper, i remember the time at jeffersonians invested in america. i look at louisiana now, we got ladies showing off their hoohoos and all you got to do is throw them a string of beads. that's how you invest on america. everybody stock up, grand kids love them. you can use them to start up a shop or study to be a
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fishmonger. good job! jobs you can raise a family on, jack. this week, i am coming to your city. don't make a fuss, i will sleep on the sofa. all i have is a few dietary restrictions. doctors said i should slow down on the dairy, it gets me tooting like a saxophone. i will be there at 5:30. put on a pot of decalf and i will be regular in no time. [laughter] [applause] >> jimmy: he's saying he's having fun. [applause] >> jimmy: ron desantis has been raging war against disney ever since the company voiced opposition to his shameful "don't say gay law," he's been doing everything in his power to punish disney. walt disney world in orlando is going ahead to host the largest lbgtq press conference in the world. why is this controversial? i
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don't know. here to get into all of it please welcome our writer, lewis patel is here now to tell it like it is. [applause] >> so the out and equal workplace summit which is tauted as the largest lbgtq conference on earth will be taken place at disney world in florida this weir despite the fact that desantis remines me of every republican who glares at me across the thanksgiving table wants florida to be a gay-free paradise swimming with naked 7-eleven robberies. i have bad news for him. florida has something so deeply gay. he could never destroy it. this. [applause] >> as long as many is watching over us in her river boat, entertainer custom. florida will always be the
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gayest place on earth. disney is like taylor swift, you assume her main audience is young girls, no, its main audience is a 36-year-old barista, named troy. disney has been bringing us queer lifestyle going all the way back to snow white and her seven gay oh, you didn't know they were gay.. that's all of them. disney gave us cruella devil. then there is javar who's just the doorman. hi, jeremy. and nothing cement a child's identity like
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mountain ride. have my son been possessed by the ghost of celine dion. every time desantis pulls a new antigay. stunt, i am livet and annoyed. calm down, relax and maybe have fun, have your fake iv league motorcade drive you to orlando and take some time to enjoy the small, queer, wonderful world of go [ bleep ] yourself. [pplause] >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you, lewis. he left already. [applause] >> jimmy: he's in the parking lot. we got a great show tonight, from "succession," nicholas braun is here, music from chloe, we'll be right back with beautiful ben affleck so stick around.
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yeah, that's the only food. they have broccoli smoothies, and broccoli pancakes, and broccoli ice cream, and broccoli hotdogs, and of course, they have raw unseasoned broccoli..... with stems. -daddy, i don't want to go to las vegas with you and mommy tomorrow. oh, are you sure? are you sure you don't want to go, it will be so much fun!
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♪ >> jimmy: well, welcome back to the show, from "succession," nicholas braun is with us and her debut solo album, music from chloe. [applause] tomorrow night, we'll be joined by jason bateman and ali wong and music from stray kids. please join us for that. first guest tonight, his movie opens in theaters, april 5th. please welcome ben affleck!
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[applause] [applause] >> how is it going? >> jimmy: how are you? >> you must be on cloud nine right now. i am on "the jimmy kimmel show." >> jimmy: that's not right. you invited me and my wife to your house. >> i did, i can't promise - it was an experiment. >> jimmy: you can't promise it is going to happen again? >> yes, i feel some awkwardness. >> jimmy: yes, it did seem like you not psyched about the party as everybody else was. >> that's a common misconception about me. >> jimmy: yeah, i know. tell your face is the thing. [laughter] >> i have a very unhappy
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look resting face. [laughter] >> this is me content. [laughter] >> this is me amused. >> jimmy: can i tell you something? i think when i walked in, the first thing you told me was how much did the tree cost. can you believe how much this tree costs? >> i am turning into that old guy. oh, we are going to heat the whole neighborhood. >> jimmy: when we got there, you were gracious and you and jennifer greeted us at the door and we chatted for a couple of minutes and the doo r opened. do you remember this? his wife mavis walked in and they came up and started talking. all of a sudden you go, did you remember what you said? >> i said you had some kind of a death blood feud or something? >> jimmy: yeah, we stood there in shock and you left.
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>> i thought it would be fun. you get a little fish and different color and you put them in the bowl. [laughter] have fun! >> jimmy: it was a christmas miracle. >> a little bit of a pay back for your late night comic. [laughter] >> jimmy: by the way, the movie is fantastic. i am not just saying that. i am sure and i was thinking about this last night because i was studying and i didn't get to see you after the movies. >> i barely saw you. >> jimmy: you were surrounded by people telling you how much they love the movie. i was surrounded by the movie telling me how much i love the movie, i had nothing to do with the movie, i just went to see the movie. we are going to see a clip of that. i don't know if people are aware of how funny this movie is. did phil nye like the way you played him? >> he's an interesting guy and as you know being a
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boss, when you work some place, there is a ten tend depency in the workplace that you want to make fun of the boss. i have been the subject of occasional meme. there has to be somebody pressing against. we think you should go and show nike the movie and show phil. sure, terrific. and i went up there and i went to the theater and all of a sudden, i went in, the guy that had been sent into negotiate with isis. it was going to be like it. i went in and show the the movie, honest and respecting phil and what he did and the importance of nike. it is fun. it is funny, i tried to be funny. >> jimmy: yeah, it is funny. >> he didn't seem that funny when he was in the room. [laughter] >> i thought maybe the thing
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to do is just run. you know what i mean? i went out there and he was, i have to say he was remarkably gracious. >> jimmy: he liked it? >> he did. >> jimmy: did he laugh? >> he was really moved by the, what really struck me was he really moved by -- the time when the company was -- an under dog in basketball and sort of a bunch of friends kinds of crashing into each other and various ideas and putting something together and arguing and debating. he seems to be somebody remembering a time in his life that's really like, i don't know what that time is, that romantic and period of your life where it is not yet to find, it may not - all coming together and you are risking something and you know, you are there where your friends and you are bonded. he seemed really moved. of course, you got a lot wrong. it is spire inspired by. >> jimmy: i think a lot of people are going to feel
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like that. it is a love letter to the '80s, to those that year of the '80s, so particular. i am going to tell you something. you started out this movie with a glimpse of our rival high school basketball team in las vegas with the exact uniform and the exact sign, i was oh my god, i was very on board with this. >> we picked that because sunny liked to gamble. >> jimmy: all my cousins when to that school. >> no way. >> jimmy: you had so many great performances. so many, i can't pick who i like the best. chris tucker, and tomorrow we have like the whole castle. it is amazing and jason bateman and we have voila davis. we have the whole, all the great people from the cast on the show. this week.
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>> you are leaving someone out. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> well, matt damon is the lead of the movie. >> jimmy: no, i said all the great people from -- the film. [laughter] [applause] >> jimmy: i didn't mean all the people. >> i understand you had your feuds and person. >> jimmy: yeah, i had one at your lobby at christmas, too. >> matt is a friend of mine. >> jimmy: i know, you guys are friends, i don't understand it. >> can i just -- it would mean a lot to me if you would just ask him one question about the movie, he worked really hard on it. i can get him on the phone right now. [applause] >> jimmy: you are going to call someone, call ryan secrest or something fine, call him. this will be your wedding gift. i didn't get you anything. >> i was wondering. >> jimmy: i know i had a
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year. let's get it over with now. i am only asking him one question. what am i going to ask him. >> okay, i am going to get him on the phone right now. [ phone ringing] >> jimmy: of course, he's available. >> hey guys! what's up everybody, i am on the show! yes! >> jimmy: not really. >> zoom style, very much on the show. definitely on the show. >> jimmy: he's not on the show. >> thank you. jimmy, thank you for calling. that was very big of you. >> jimmy: whatever, this was a gift from ben and j-lo only, not to you. >> be gracious. >> well, i thank you anyway, i am ready for your question. >> jimmy: all right. fine. okay, all right, so you play sunny vicaro, how did you approach playing a real person compares to a fictional character, okay? you wanted a question, i
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gave him a question. >> wow, that's nice. that's actually really a good question. thank you. okay, so the thing is when you approach any role as an actor, the first they think you do is you will want to talk and if you can the person that you are going to play. you want to talk to the people around the person. >> jimmy: oh no! oh wow. seems like we are having a connection problem with the wi-fi. matt, can you hear us? [laughter] >> jimmy: matt, we lost you when you were talking about your approach to acting. >> i would like to spend time with not only the person i am playing but also the people around. [laughter] >> jimmy: god, he froze gwen. we don't get to her his philosophy of acting. is he stealing the neighbor's wi-fi? >> abouting
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an art. >> jimmy: go on. >> what's going on? >> jimmy: i think you accidentally turned on your filter. one of your big fat fingers or something like that. >> you are such a child, i am so sick and tired of dealing with you -- am i an actual hot dog right now? is that really a real question? why don't you take your little show and shoved it up your big, hairy -- [ bleep ] >> jimmy: i apologize for the profanity, he's out of control. i can't believe you are hanging out with him. >> i am really disappointed. >> jimmy: no, we won't try again. ben affleck is here. we'll be back right after this with nicholas braun. >> jimmy kimmel live is brought to you by planet
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>> seriously? >> well, maybe it will grow on me. >> jimmy: that's ben affleck and another person, >> i have no reason to believe that phil knight did not like the air jordan idea. i thought it was funny. >> jimmy: oh, is it true? really? >> a lot of it is fiction. well, you will never run into this person, this is funny. probably being a comic. >> jimmy: and you got to sit here and show him the movie. you know what i love about the way you did it. i wonder if you thought about this when you did. >> i am sure i did. >> jimmy: you talked so much about the shoes, the shoes, we don't even see the shoes until close to the end of the movie and it is like "jaws" like seeing the shark for the first time. you see the shoes, it is a great shoes. >> how much tail end we were benefiting from telling the
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story of all of people's history and the memories and what it means. i was never going to show jordan because he's too famous and meaningful. >> jimmy: you did it cleverly. the scene from the back and in -- >> it is about all the people around him. he's kind of too, too big for it in ta a way, you know? we show clips of the real michael jordan doing what's unmistakenly him, you try to fake that and takeaway from what does he really mean which is an extraordinary. >> jimmy: you had voila davis playing his mom. insistance. >> i am totally intimidated by him and no, i am running into him a couple of times and i was going to do the movie, listen, could i sit
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down with you for an hour. i would like to talk about this thing and gunpoi got script. i can't think of anything stupider than making this movie and michael jordan be like this is [ bleep ]. you know what i mean? once he seems open to it. it is a favor and it is going to change stuff and we have to make it into a dramatic story. what are the things that are fundamentally important to you that are absolutely, you can't violate these truths because i will not. very telling me it was not about i did this. he talked about other people. he was like george ralphling needs to be included in this story. >> jimmy: that's a crazy story. >> he talked about his parents. my initial idea was vaguely having him and i don't want to give it away. he was going to be the voice that asserted his value. and he talked about his father. his father is the best
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personality he ever knew and julia is the perfect guy for that. he talked about his mom. this is a guy that's so powerful and just sitting across from you and he had this look of kind of reverend and all he talked about was his mother. i don't want to go to work, i would sign my life for a red mercedes-benz for life. >> jimmy: that red mercedes. >> really? she found sounds fascinating. do you think i can call her up? he's like, you can try. [laughter] >> got it, message heard. he was and i said like, i made the classic saying, who do you think - it has to be voila davis. i was like it has -- it does have to be voila davis. >> jimmy: did voila know? >> currently having two lines in the script.
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>> we had to write a part that's worth voila davis. >> jimmy: that's true. >> we had to do that and believe me, when i sent it to her, i was like, yeah, i want you to do it and michael jordan wants you to play his mom because i thought that may have a little more impact. i was thinking about it. >> jimmy: my mom was involved in my of any contract negotiations and how poorly that would go. >> is your mom not a good negotiation? >> jimmy: i don't know, i keep her out of that stuff. it is remarkable in some stories. >> think of all prosports or entertainment and a lot of these marginalize communities and african-american men who have been disadvantage and thrust into this world where they're negotiating with massive companies in radical shift lifestyle, you don't have anybody there guiding you and looking out for you
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all the moms who have played this role throughout history and how important and pivotal that role is. listen, even from my smaller point of view, just getting famous like with matt, you can see and go crazy. >> jimmy: i preferred if you didn't mention him anymore. i did get you a little gift before we go. this is a little something, you can open now if you want which will be -- >> that seems to be best for the show. >> jimmy: it is entirely for the show. this is something that when our love blossoms, one of our viewers painted this for us. and, this is, i would like you to keep it in your home. see that? [applause] >> that does not loolook looked -- it is a lovely picture. >> jimmy: that's pre-ai. >> you never held it against
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♪ >> jimmy: hello, welcome back to the show, chloe is on the way. she's one of television's all time greatest cousin, carlton, oliver and nicky and as a whole. he plays cousin greg on "succession," >> hey, hey, logan's in. >> upstairs? >> he's on the floor, tom. >> wait, explain what he's doing with his body and his face. >> i don't know, he's just terrifying mosey and he's wearing sunglasses inside. he looks like santa claus is a hit man. >> jimmy: say hello nicholas braun, on
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"succession." [applause] [applause] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> i am good, this guy got me a little drunk the other night. >> jimmy: he did. we saw that. and vice versa he was hammered by the end of the evening. how are you doing? it is great to have you here. >> oh my god, it is so great to be here. [applause] >> i am such a huge fan. this is so awesome. >> jimmy: very nice of you, i think i almost semi-tackled you at the emmies because you seemed to be walking away and i wanted to tell you how great you are on the show. >> thank you. [applause] >> i think my mom came for you. she came to tackle you. >> jimmy: did she identify herself as your mother? >> i don't know if she did. she's just a big - well,
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she's not big. she's tall. she's a tall woman. >> jimmy: sure, makes sense. >> just a fine body for a person. [laughter] >> she came -- >> jimmy: for a person. [laughter] >> my mother. [laughter] >> she grabs me and she says, nick, nick, jimmy kimmel is over there. i am like yeah. i think i met you one time before. yeah, i know jimmy. [laughter] >> and so i kind of lean over and as soon as i lead her, she takes over. i have a selfie. >> jimmy: oh, you have the picture that we took together? oh, how about that? is she your screen saver? >> it is, i look at it every night. >> jimmy: that's nice. there is your mom right there. [applause] >> that's me and my mom. [applause] >> jimmy: a great picture.
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we are going to have it, next time you are here, bring her and we'll retake this photograph. i will put on a tuxedo. >> good. >> jimmy: when you got this part, how much did you know? what did they tell you greg was supposed to be like? >> well, there was the script, greg was a bit bumblely. it was written in that way sort of an stacato way of speaking. i read it and i thought -- i read it and i kind of understood it. i went to a friend's wedding and there was a guy who's on the dance floor and he was just dancing recklessly. just like freely, just like a pure soul. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> not to the beat. [laughter] >> and i was like that's so greg. he's just like a sweet guy and he's having fun dancing. so, there is that.
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i also taking care of a dog at the time i got the part, and this little dog would follow me around -- not little, he's like a medium size dog, australian-shepard. he's looking at me, is it okay that i am in here with you? he wanted to be next to me but he sort of asking permission to be with me. i thought that's pretty gregory. that's creative. >> jimmy: wow, that's creative, you look at a dog for inspiration. does a dog know about this? >> yes, the dog had been doing a lot of press. >> jimmy: what's the dog's name? >> the dog is durango. >> jimmy: oh wow. are you ever that awkward in real life? is any of that -- i mean some of it has to be? >> i am never awkward. [laughter] >> jimmy: never! wow, that's amazing. [laughter] [applause]
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>> um -- but, plenty awkward. i am awkward with famous people. >> jimmy: oh, really? who would you embarrass yourself in front of? >> well, tarantino is a good one. >> jimmy: okay, what happened? >> i was walking on a plane and was not sitting in first class. i was walking past first class. >> jimmy: this was before "succession"? >> this was a long time ago, this was 12 years ago. >> jimmy: oh, great. >> i am walking through first class and that's quentin tarantino. sorry, there he is, oh my god! i had just done this disney channel original movie. [applause] >> okay, and so this
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was called minute-man. nice. [applause] so, it had just come out and there was an ad on the back of a magazine. [laughter] >> jimmy: it was quite some time then. okay. >> the ad was on the back of this magazine and i got to my seat and i was like the minute-man ad and off and pushed back people that's coming further to the plane which everybody hates that. nobody likes the person going opposite. so i get up to first class and i look at him and he's sitting on the window side so i have to reach over a person. quinton? quinton? i am in this "decom" of minute-man and it just came out. the ad is like three guys in
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snow suits flying through time because they created a time travel machine. i am like quinton, that's me in this movie and i hope to work with you some day. i think you are the best. that's all i got. [laughter] >> and he, and he looked at it and like it was a torn piece of paper and he was like -- i hope so, too. [laughter] >> jimmy: any contact since tat moment of horror? >> just still waiting. [laughter] [applause] >> jimmy: well, that's it, i am so bummed this is the last season of the show. who are you going to miss the most and be honest. >> i will miss matthew the most. >> jimmy: you will miss matthew plays tom. >> i love all of them. matthew, i spend the most time onset and we had some of the best stuff i ever gotten to do as an actor.
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>> jimmy: yeah, some of the best stuff anyone got to do. you guys are quite a combination, that is. i know people say you should have your own show together. they're right, you should. you won't probably do that. >> no, we won't but it has been a great run with him. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it is a great run on the show. >> jimmy: the show is absolutely great. you are fantastic on the show! "succession" is the name of the show, sunday night, hbo and hbo max, nicholas braun, everybody! we'll be right back with chloe. announcer: the jimmy kimmel show is presented by mercedes, the s-class, from mercedes-benz.
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♪ ♪ ♪ i am not going to cry ♪ ♪ anymore ♪ ♪ i am not going to answer ♪ ♪ your calls whenever ♪ ♪ you are down ♪ ♪ i am not going to reach you ♪ ♪ i am not going to do you like that ♪ ♪ whatever you really ♪ ♪ want is to cheat back ♪ ♪ from another boo ♪ ♪ maybe then you will know ♪ ♪ how to act ♪ ♪ cheat back ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ maybe then you will know ♪ ♪ how to act ♪ ♪ oh, only you ♪ ♪ only what i want to do ♪
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♪ oh, i know you want ♪ ♪ it like that ♪ i may make a video ♪ ♪ if you ever see it ♪ ♪ ♪ so the best for me ♪ ♪ to do is to cheat back ♪ ♪ i can throw it back ♪ ♪ maybe then you will know ♪ ♪ how to act ♪ ♪ i will cheat back ♪ ♪ something that you will like ♪ ♪ staying with my girls ♪ ♪ maybe then you will know ♪ ♪ how to act ♪ ♪ cheat back ♪ ♪ only on you ♪ ♪ that's what i want to do
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i was never good enough ♪ ♪ for you, you said ♪ ♪ you don't believe me ♪ ♪ you played monopoly and ♪ ♪ you lie too much ♪ ♪ you loved another girl ♪ ♪ i turned around ♪ ♪ i am going to call ♪ ♪ out the homie ♪ ♪ i am going to treat you ♪ ♪ i will cheat back ♪ ♪ ♪ maybe then you will know ♪ ♪ how to act ♪ ♪ i am going to cheat back ♪ ♪ you will know how to act ♪ ♪ ♪ if i cheat back ♪ ♪ if i cheat back baby ♪
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[applause] [applause] >> announcer: this is "nightline" is "nightline." >> tonight, inside the shooting, the dramatic video released by nashville police. officers racing to clear classrooms, trying to stop another active school shooter. >> multiple victims down inside the school. the shooter is down now as well as well. speak of the closing questions left behind. speak of this manifesto, a map of the school. >> and a friend that received chilling messages of the shooter just before the attack. >> plus, whitney houston...
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