tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 30, 2023 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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tonight. dan: for all of us, i have not heard joe say thank you, president trump, for the great job you did. perhaps, i am not listening. now, nato stuffed up its cash. thank you very much, president trump. shut the [ bleep ] up! >> announcer: from hollywood, it is jimmy kimmel live. tonight, voila davis and julius tennon and bret goldstein and music from the cletone. now, it is jimmy. ♪ [applause]
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♪ >> jimmy: thank you, hi, i am the host of the show, thank you for watching. [applause] >> jimmy: thank you for watching and thank you for joining us. many of us thought would never come. we were skeptical. let me give you some insights on how our jobs work here. i am up on my office working on a monologue and typing for opening day for baseball and how people at cracker jacks spent a whole winter in the dark and we had a thing about a new nasal spray that would give you an erection in five minutes and guess what, we had to throw it all in the garbage. it is all moot because the j. and donald trump now stands for jail. [applause] >> jimmy: the manhattan grand jury which was
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supposed to vote today, voted today and according to "the new york times" and many, many sources, donald trump has been indicted for the first time in the history of this country, an american president has been indicted for his role paying hush money to a porn star, although in fairness that's a narrow window when cleaver were president, a porn star were hard to come by. still, it is historic and funny, it is very, very funny. [applause] >> jimmy: that i mean -- of all things. of all the things he's done. the one that bit trump in the -- was around a post golf putter-butter with a star of sex-bot program for pleasure. trump thought he's going to get arrested on tuesday, when he didn't, he started getting cocky, yesterday, hi wrote i gained such respect from this grand jury. perhaps, the grand jury system as a whole. the evidence is so
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overwhelming and ridiculous bad for the hateful district attorney that the grand jury is saying we are not a rubber stamp. we are not going to vote against a preponderance of the evidence. he was right. they voted for a preponderance of the evidence against him. that evidence being his payment of $130,000 to stormy daniels, who he claimed he does not know and his own lawyer, saying trump directed to make that payment and disguised the payment as a legal expense. that seems like a preponderance of the evidence to me. i don't know -- i am not seeing a preponderance of the evidence in person. i think that's what it looks like. trump was not as ennam than he was yesterday. this is today political persecution and election of interference of the highest level from the time i came down from the golden escalator of trump tower. before i was sworn in as
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your president, the radical left democrats, the enemy of the hardworking men and women of this country engaged inside a witch hunt to destroy the make america great again movement. well, i don't know, america is pretty great right now. now, they have done an unthinkable indicting an innocent person and and blah blah blah, joe biden bragged of the crooked democrats so we can make america great again. next week he has to write everything down on the wall of his cell. just live and go. [applause] >> jimmy: he wrote as a follow-up, these thugs and radical left monsters indicated the 45th president of the united states. hopefully, you can spend some time at the prison library learning how to spell. now, that he's been indicted, not indicated, the former president had no choice, he's got to turn himself in for processing at the courthouse in new york in a spectacle that seems to have made for reality tv. ♪
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♪ >> good morning. >> there he is. the biggest loser. maybe what's what he'll do now. instead of running for president, he'll do another show. like "the celebrity aprehentice." all we know that for seven years for the first time, melania is smiling at mar-a-lago. [applause] >> jimmy: trump is frantically googling how to make diet coke in prison toilet. the best baseball opening day ever. [applause] >> jimmy: this is only the warmup indictment. lady justice is getting loose in the bullpen right in and out. we'll bring her in the 9th.
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his next move will be try start another riot to get team to demonstrate on his behalf. only donald trump can have supporters that's crazy. it is like an entire political movement made up of those women who mailed their underwear to ted bu bundy. the grand jury moved on trump like a witch. he's going to be arrested. he'll be he'll be read his miranda rights. wait until he'll find out all these times he got to remain silent. who's go to help don jr. pick out his lunchable tomorrow? lash out at the long arm of the law, potentially taken daddy away. well, guys, i guess i got
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some news about 10 or 15 minutes ago. apparently, sorrells, alvin bragg is actually indicting my father. so, let's be clear, folks, this is - like communist level of [ bleep ]. this is stuff that would make poll-pot, it would make them blush. >> jimmy: you know he had to google every one of those things. for once, he's not waving his hands around like the swedish chef from the mob. his brother, eric trump, tweeted this is third world prosecutory who would have guess ivanka could dump trump before
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melania. she's done with politics. she wants to spend more time waiting for her husband to go through puberty. [laughter] >> jimmy: and spend more time with their kids, joseph and theodore. do you think trump knows his kids' names? maybe joseph. i feel the trump kids are divided into two camps. those who may visit him in prison or those who may join him there. this is the kind of perfect, when the news came in, fox was busy whining about, guess what? trans athletes and college sports. >> there are a lot of male coaches and in the ncaa who are forcing this on. >> do they identify as male? >> all right, we are going to break in with this fox news alert. we got word former president trump has been indicted. >> i think jesse waters broke when they heard that.
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>> jimmy: last time they were straight about him. last time we got insights on what went down at fox news after the election thanks to these e-mails released as result of the lawsuits from the di minion voting system. trump incites in violent is pretty much a crime, best, we don't mention his name unless it is essential and certainly don't support him. their ratings went down so the ceo of fox news tried to put a stop to fact-checking trump's crazy claims. this was an e-mail sent from suzanne scott. the ceo of fox news on december 2022 from they fact-checked trump. this has to stop now. this is bad business, the audience is furious. bad for business. it is amazing. it is right there in print. the people who wrote these admit they wrote them. that it is bad business to give the audience facts to
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fact-check and the audience does not care at all. no one who watches fox news is even going to know about this because they get their news from fox news and they're not going to report it. they're going to bob happily along and cheering along with the five and nodding and grunting along with every story they hear from what is the wwe of news organization. [applause] >> jimmy: and congress -- republicans in congress are even more brazen. kevin mccarthy is planning to investigate the guy investigating investi investigating trump in new york. sadly what's been lost in all of this is lucky little leprechaun, george santos, attempt to do repair work on his image. >> what are the biggest misconception about you? >> you know know, i am outsider to politics and a lot of folks want to in the
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media try to paint me as a boogie man. the boogie man is china. not george santos, i am a boring nerd, dork, whatever you want to call me. >> jimmy: i will stick with pathological liar. thank you, gerge answered a bunch of questions and chatting and laughing. you may as well have some fun with this. he may as well take a page from trump and use this to make some money. [laughter] >> look, it is barbie. no, it is not. it is georgie. >> he's done it all. ♪ >> georgie, the action figure that simply can't tell the truth. with so many identities to choose from. >> give me my diploma, dean. >> you don't go here. >> i am putting it on my
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resume anyway. >> broadway >> volleyball georgie. >> have you played volleyball? >> lady, i invented volleyball. >> george, come for dinner. she's alive! don't forget, jewish georgie. >> my grandparents survived the holocaust. >> collect them all. mermaid georgie and gi gi georgie, and so many lies he's bound to tell. it is a >> available at friday. >> there you go! [applause] >> jimmy: can you believe all this that's going on
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here guillermo? >> yeah, this is great. >> jimmy: you had a lot of tequila to celebrate? >> yeah, i am very happy, hopefully, they put him into jail. >> jimmy: how many shots? >> today is a special day, four shots. >> jimmy: hopefully, there will be no security issues because we are ill-equipped to deal with them. from "ted lasso," goldstein and i will be right back with viola davis and julius tennon. [applause]
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plays roy kent, bret goldtein is here with us. from canada, his album is called "never enough," daniel caesar is here with us. [applause] we got a big show, our first guest, our actor is so committed to their craft, they got legally married 20 years ago just to prepare for their roles. michael jordan's mom and dad in the new movie "air," it opens april 5th. please welcome viola davis and julius tennon. [applause] ♪ [applause] >> jimmy: you know how excited i am. >> you know every time you
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are on the show, i say will you bring george on one of these times? [laughter] >> jimmy: turns out, you guyses are in the movie together. >> george is here. [applause] >> jimmy: you are saying george because you call him george jefferson. >> yeah, that's the george. >> yeah, i am pretty much george. everything except the walk. [laughter] >> jimmy: the walk is something -- why not the walk? anything you are going to take. >> it is not a sexy walk. no, it does not have enough swag. >> she likes a little swag. >> jimmy: a little swag in the walk. in what way are you like george jefferson? voila told us this and i wonder what she means. >> when she talks about me being george jefferson, she talks about me being organized. >> he loves dry cleaning. >> yes, i do. >> i get everything dry cleaned be not with creases.
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>> jimmy: when you say you got everything dry cleaned, does that mean t-shirts or underwear? >> no, he's not going to do that because it is going to cost money. >> i am like george that way, too. i am very thrifty. >> jimmy: only the things that needs to be dry cleaned. have you seen when voila on the show talking about you. >> i have. >> jimmy: do you feel you are being fairly represented? >> i feel like i am fairly being represented. >> jimmy: very good. like your birthday was coming up on christmas ooefr, right? >> that's right. >> jimmy: she says no, i am not getting him a cake because it is enough about christmas. >> that's what they always say. it is enough for christmas. >> the thing about it is it is a lot to think about christmas which is december 25th, and think about his birthday which is december 24th. sometimes i just -- melt
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them together. [laughter] >> jimmy -- to do it in june. >> jimmy: you should get a birthday in june. we'll arrange it for you. >> june is our anniversary. >> jimmy: oh, how many years? >> 20 years. [applause] >> it is like we were dancing backstage and we were dancing at our vowel renewal and someone said y'all are dancing like y'all met at a club. >> jimmy: y'all met on a tv show. >> "city of angels. >> jimmy: do you mind telling us through how the spark began? >> do you want to tell the story? >> i was dogging a with tuna fish on it.
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believe it or not but it is really good, go ahead, julius. >> i was waiting in line to make my sandwich and i noticed her and i said hey, how are you doing? later we went to the set and i passed blood to -- i think at the end of the day, i am going to give her my card and that's what i did. >> and? >> well, i gave you my card only because my mom told me. my mom said if you want to meet a girl, don't ask for her phone number, if she's interested, she will call you. she promptly called me a month later. >> jimmy: a month? that's playing it call. were you playing it cool? >> no, i had bad credit and i didn't have a car. [laughter] >> i was like no one wants a 34-year-old on a bus with bad credit. i was trying to get my stuff together and i was
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like -- it is going to take too long to get the credit right. >> jimmy, i told her, voila, don't worry about the car, i got a car. i said don't worry about your credit being bad, i got good credit. [laughter] >> so i got you. >> jimmy: before you guys moved in, how much time lapse? >> not a lot of time. [laughter] >> her motivating factor was the money. [laughter] >> she was kind of like, oh, we are splitting $400 rent? i am moving in. [laughter] >> no, it was. i am not lying to you. splitting that rent coming from new york, i was like and he was cute -- you know? >> jimmy: why not? >> he had a tight ass! [applause] >> jimmy: you told me once you like a man with a big neck and it was his neck attracted? >> back in the day, 23
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neck? >> a 52-inch chest. >> jimmy: were you shirtless all the time? >> i went top the big and tall shop, i can only fit three colors. i cut them off here and they fit here so - >> jimmy: what was your first date like? >> magical. >> jimmy: i assume he picked you up. >> he pick me up in his car. i would have had to take the bus. we went to we went there for the bread basket. we ate the hell out of that basket. >> that was hot and good. >> that's how he pulls me. you got to go to crocodile and they put rosemary on the bread, sure. >> it is the bottomless
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bread that won your heart. >> his car was clean and he smelled good. >> jimmy: what are you going to do for your 20th anniversary? >> i have to come up with something spectacular and i have a few things in mind. >> jimmy: maybe a safari or something like that. wow. >> it is been magical. >> jimmy: are you working? >> we'll be there working and enjoying the landscape. >> jimmy: i love having the two of you here, you know that, right? i have been dreaming about this. >> we are not going to tell you all of our secrets. >> she's told you enough secrets over the years. >> jimmy: voila told me so many things about you. [laughter] >> there is not many, but most people don't know that voila is really shy. >> jimmy: really? >> she's really a shy person. very private. >> jimmy: oh, okay. [laughter] is that why you are not saying anything? >> that's why i am not
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saying anything, jimmy. >> no, i am seriously shy. >> you are? >> it surprises me. >> it surprises me, too. when it pops up and i shutdown. usually it is in a room full of people who are not shy. >> jimmy: and i shut down. well, i am glad you are comfortable with all of us here. [applause] you guys, this movie is great. you are great in it. it is called "air," you play the parents of michael jordan. we'll take a look at that when we come back. julius tennon and viola davis are here with us! to you by planet fitness. ♪ [applause]
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are you mr. jordan? >> james. >> i am with nike. >> oh, man. here we go. >> james? >> who is it? >> hello, mrs. jordan, my name is sunny, i am with nike. >> i believe he made it clear that we were not interested? >> yeah, i was told not to call. >> do you make a habit of showing at people's front door unannounced? >> believe me, there are many of those. i don't like to take know for an answer. i think your son should be endorsed by someone of the exact mindset. [applause] >> jimmy: that's viola davis
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and julius tennon. ben affleck insisted that you be the actor to play his mother. when did he tell you that? did he tell you right away? >> we have not seen michael jordan. so, i only met michael jordan one time coming out of a hotel in new york because his wife was a "how to get away with murder fan." >> jimmy: she stopped you? >> oh man, my wife and my mother-in-law love how to get away with murder. that was my only contact with michael jordan. >> jimmy: did you feel pressure like i must do this now? >> how do you say no to michael jordan? >> jimmy: you don't. >> and hope to get free nikes. >> jimmy: what the compliment to play his bloved mom and beloved dad. >> jimmy: julius, was it a
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coincidence? >> i knew the casting director very well. she called my manager. jordan getting along time and julius and and voila have such great history. do you think julius want to do it. oh, yeah, i love working with voila. >> be honest, i went online and saw a picture of me next to michael jordan, wait a minute, julius, julius sort of favor james jordan a little bit. they're both black and bald. >> jimmy: yeah, mining cal said his dad is the the world. >> he said we depicted jordan the way he remember meeting them. [applause]
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>> jimmy: when you guys were onset, did you share a trailer? >> no, we didn't share a trailer? >> but he had to come in my trailer to eat. >> her trailer was a little bit bigger. [laughter] >> i went over to have lunch with her. julius, are you going to go and hang out? no, i would go back to my castle. i will see you in a minute. >> jimmy: was it fun working together like this? i assume, you have not done that for quite some time? >> we work together a lot but this to me was the right dynamic. you cut-off the trailer but right after the trailer, you know, i go in the backyard with sunny -- wait a minute, i can't reveal the movie, right? let me not say anything. >> jimmy: we know the shoes became really successful. >> but you don't know what happened at the end of it. let me shut up. i don't want amazon calling
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me [laughter] >> jimmy: the last time you were here, voila, you were talking about how much you wanted to win the egot. the emmy, grammy, oscar and tony. i was watching the grammys and i was hoping she would whatever -- sure enough, you got the egot! [applause] [applause] which explains why you had the bigger trailer. you don't have the egot, julius. does she keep the trophiesty di enough for you? >> no, i keep them tidy. there are some many our office, very few because she does not like to look at them. i am the guy that moves the older ones away and put the newer ones in. >> jimmy: there are so many coming in and out. >> there are so many. clutter with trophies. >> jimmy: what is one that
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you threw out? which of the trophies meant so little to you? >> jimmy, you are trying to get me in trouble. >> jimmy, i don't throw any of them out, i just put them in boxes. >> jimmy: okay, all right, makes sense. [laughter] >> voila, your paper back book is coming out. when is it coming out? >> next week. >> jimmy: did you add anything to that? the egot, sometimes in the paper back you add a little something at the end. >> like what? >> jimmy: i don't know -- >> i am not adding nothing. i don't want anybody trying to sue me, you are saying this and this and that. i will say this, i am very proud of my book. [applause] >> jimmy: yes, you should be. you are proud of the book, too? >> i am, i know the stories so i am very proud of. >> jimmy: is voila still hiding candy in the dresser?
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>> she still hides candy. >> jimmy: what's the candy of choice? >> i tried to get her to eat the sugar-free but she wants the full sugar. >> that's a lie. sometimes i put the sugar-free on the side and i switch them together. [laughter] >> she said you know the full sugar is better. [laughter] >> jimmy: well, it is great to see you guys. i love having you guys here together. the movie opens in theaters on april 5th, "air," julia tennon and viola davis, we'll be right back with bret goldstein! [applause] but now, i can disrupt eczema with rinvoq. rinvoq is not a steroid, topical, or injection.
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welcome bret goldstein! [applause] >> jimmy: i saw you at the wine house last week. >> yeah, we went to the white house on a day trip. >> jimmy: on a day trip to the white house. >> we got invited to the "ted lasso" true, we got to talk about mental health with the president and if first lady. >> jimmy: did you feel weird being there with all the stuff going on in the world right now? >> it was amazing and it was an honor and a privilege. i have never been more aware of my hands than i was all day. what do you do with your hands at the white house?
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like i didn't know how to stand, sit, what is a person -- i lost my mind. it is so -- [ bleep ], it is the white house. i am trying not to sweat, desperately not trying to make jokes >> jimmy: let's look at the picture here. there you are. >> so this -- so, we didn't know this was happening. >> jimmy: you didn't know you would be at the press conference? >> we were told that jason were going to speak. we met kamala who was amazing for five minutes and we were be dazzled by and she said oh, good, good luck in the press room and we are like what? it was literally like go on stage. >> jimmy: that was a crazy day, too. one of the guys going out and stuff like that. >> we thought we were being
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set up. i said to hannah, what do we do with our hands. [laughter] >> and she said stand like this. that'll look strong. for the first minute i was like - i looked mad. it is like my hands were so heavy like the hulk. i know -- i tried this for a bit. and i ended up with a pose, well, what if i stand like security. eyes on jason. >> jimmy: a little bit part of the secret service details. they didn't confuse you for one of them, didn't they? >> one of them did give me their card at the end. i don't know if that was a threat. >> jimmy: what you should do is wait one month and call them. who knows? wow, that's a pretty big deal. that's when you know tv show is really --
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the white house wants you to go right there and walk around. did you spend time with the first lady? >> we had an hour with the president and the first lady. we were talking about mental health and we have been very strictly told, hey, you sit here and here. bret, you sit there next to hannah. it is going to be filmed and we walk in and when i sit down, the middle seat, i am on the cushion and it is like -- oh, there is no cushion. i spent an hour. the whole hour, i am doing a wolf seat like i am just tense, trying to look -- [laughter] >> how do people sit? >> jimmy: no one else had any problems. it is just you that has a problem. >> it is only me. >> jimmy: are you just generally uncomfortable?
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[aughter]. >> i would say 99% of the time unless i am asleep. >> jimmy: right now, are you thinking about how you are sitting. >> no, i am like do people's hands stay like that? >> jimmy: did you curse at all in the presence of the president and the first lady? >> i was so hurt. >> jimmy: i remember at the emmys you used the f-word. >> yeah. >> jimmy: the year before was the first time. what happened then? >> what was that was funny for my family, they were watching in england and -- i have been told i am not allowed to swear so the speech is going to be [ bleep ] short. that's all i said of the swear. the feedback home cut it off so the whole speech was silent and i have been
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telling them not to swear and [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: and now they're thinking it again. [applause] [laughter] >> jimmy: so you didn't get to hear your speech at all? >> no. >> jimmy: the second year. >> the second year they cut me off as i took the mic. >> jimmy: let's nip this in the butt before it is a problem. your family, do they all curse? is it like a family thing? >> yeah. >> jimmy: mother, too, cursing? >> yeah. [laughter] >> jimmy: so, they were not upset at all. >> i think they were like good lads but could not hear. >> jimmy: this is the third season of "ted lasso," it does not seem to be have been settled. you approached it was the last season. >> yeah. >> >> jimmy: does was -- was everybody sad when it ended?
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>> the last day, they scheduled and had everyone and it was an emotional scene and then eventually they said "that's a wrap," 250 people like in set, and design and everyone involved and rushed into the locker room and everyone hugged and kissed and we had an and jason did the speech. i kept sneaking off in the shower set to have a cry. >> jimmy: so, it would be weird if you did another season even though everyone wants you to do another season. now, we all crying for nothing. i can't look you in the eye anymore. we can't do this. i was very pleased to see your name in the credits as a co-creator of the show. [applause] >> thank you. >> jimmy: it is a great show. another jason seigle and
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harrison ford. you got picked up for another season of that. [applause] >> i do. thank you. >> jimmy: is there any chance you will be on that show as well? >> it is possible. >> jimmy: it is possible. >> as long as it makes sense. i am forcing myself into it because i want to hang out with harrison ford. >> jimmy: have you hung out with harrison? have you had that chance? >> you no at the characters is like -- slightly, i can talk about this now. i was not going to talk about it. the character has parkinson's and my dad had it. i am protective of him but then bill lawrence said in the press, so i called my dad, i am sorry bill said that you got parkinson's in the public's eye. i can try never to speak of it again and it is up to you. oh, i am not ashamed. it is who i am. if you are telling the world, i am based on
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harrison ford [ bleep ] saying it to everyone. >> jimmy: so he likes that? >> yes. >> jimmy: well, you are doing great stuff. it is a remarkable - you had the last two and a half years have been unbelievable for you. you are enjoying it? are you happy? >> that's such a heavy question. >> jimmy: are you happy? you want to lay down? >> i will go to the shower -- >> jimmy: you are writing a show about a psychiatrist's office. it seems like a fair question to ask. congratulations on everything. "shrinking" and "ted lasso," bret goldstein, everyone! we'll be back with daniel caesar. >> the jimmy kimmel live show is presented by the
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mercedes-benz. >> thanks to voila davis and bret goldstein. here are the song, "let me go," daniel caesar. ♪ mrauz [applause] ♪ ♪ i am trying to breathe ♪ ♪ why won't you let me ♪ ♪ i am trying to leave ♪ ♪ please just forget me ♪ ♪ and honestly ♪ ♪ i should have said it ♪ ♪ and hardly to believe ♪ ♪ this got so messy ♪ ♪ ain't going to sleep tonight ♪ ♪ my dreams exhaust me ♪ ♪ i will be awake until the
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light ♪ ♪ it is about that time ♪ ♪ that i break away before our time expires ♪ ♪ baby won't you let ♪ ♪ me go ♪ ♪ let go, let go ♪ baby, won't you let me go ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ ♪ let go, let go ♪ i am not afraid ♪ ♪ of manipulation ♪ ♪ you're stuck in your ways ♪ ♪ i run out of patience ♪ ♪ you are lying when ♪ ♪ you told me you won't ♪
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♪ be fine ♪ ♪ i am not leading you ♪ ♪ on, i am leaving you behind ♪ ♪ ain't going to sleep tonight ♪ ♪ my dreams exhaust me ♪ ♪ i will be awake until the light ♪ ♪ it is about the time ♪ ♪ that i break away before ♪ ♪ time expires ♪ ♪ baby, won't you let ♪ ♪ me go, oh, oh, let go, let go ♪ ♪ baby, won't you let me go ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ let go, let go ♪ ♪ ♪ [applause]
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♪ line tonight. trump indicted first president in us history to ever face criminal charges. from the beginning. it's been one witch hunt and phony investigation after another grand jury in new york, taking the unprecedented step over trump's alleged hush money payment to adult film star stormy daniels. calling it politically motivated. but his former attorney, saying no one is above the law is not revenge, right? what this is, is that accountability needs to be held accountable. for his dirty deeds . what's next for the former presid
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