>> building a better bay area. moving forward. finding solutions. this is abc7 news. ♪ kristen: hi there. i'm kristen sze. you are watching "getting answers" on abc7. every day, we talk with experts about issues important to the bay area and we get answers for you in real time. parents, have you ever thought about your parenting style? a new study suggests what you do and how you do it can impact your kids' mental health. we will talk with an expert about how to treat in a hostile parenting style with a consistent one. but first, shock, s anger gripping the tech community today over the death of tech executive and investor bob lee, stepped on the street a block from google's san

francisco headquarters and succumbed to his injuries around 2:35 a.m. yesterday on main street near harrison and folsom. he was the chief product officer and cryptocurrency payment platform mobile coin and was previously chief technology officer of the payment app, s quare. we have reaction from friends and city leaders. reporter: the shock of the stabbing death of bob lee, reaching far beyond the tech industry. friends and colleagues of the 43-year-old father and tech executive, sharing their frustration about what happened. >> i actually lived right where he got killed. i used to walk there all the time at night. i started to question and that is the reason i moved. i lived in san francisco for 20 years, i got ran out of that city. reporter: he says that to have been good friends for about five years with plans to meet in miami as soon as tomorrow. >> we were both supposed to hang

out tomorrow night. i'm still processing it. when you lose it's like, not expected, he had two daughters as well that he loved. reporter: high-profile tech resume, he hopes lee is remembered for being an all-around good guy. >> he was a humble, nice guy, he talked about his kids a lot, family. a generally good guy. there's not many people like that anymore. reporter: we met gordon wong, returning to work along the block where the deadly stabbing happened. the deadly attack happened around 2:35 a.m. tuesday morning near main street at harrison. >> the stabbing doesn't surprise you at this point? >> not at all. but 2:00 a.m., i'd be at home. it is so sad, a young man. >> this is not a city where anybody should fear for their lives at 2:30 a.m. this is a city with a vibrant

nightlife and we should be safe 24 hours a day. >> there's no crime or stan homicide -- worse than homicide. reporter: lee, a major tech force in the tech world. the chief technology officer at mobile coin before he was cto of mobile payment at square in the creator of cash app. earlier in his career, he also worked at google. they issued a statement saying in part he had an impact far beyond his short-term on earth. bob's real resume is the hearts and minds he touched on his time on earth. his legacy is that you can make a difference of your tribe. and of course has amazing children. kristen: s bob lee best spoke with our media partner, the san francisco standard. joining us with more about his life and death and possible applications on the city struggling to recover from the pandemic is the standard's

senior reporter. jonah, thanks for your time today. >> a pleasure to be here is always. kristen: i know you have a lot of reporters covering this, as do we. amanda walked us through what happened. since then the standard has seen video provided by sources that offers additional insight that perhaps makes it even more tragic. what can you tell us about that video? >> the video that i viewed shows bob lee walking from the bay bridge towards harrison, then at harrison, he seems to lift his shirt up, as he approaches a car that is stopped in the corner with its flashers on. the car then drives away. he falls to the ground. he gets up again and walks back the way he came, but on the others of the street and falls down. the blood that i saw at the

scene also tracks what that video seemed to show. that's what the video shows. again, we don't know what happened. we don't know how he died other than it was a stabbing. there's a lot of speculation going on here about what this means for the city. it could have very well been a random attack and it also could be any other number of explanations. it is important for us to remember and continue to stay on top of what actually happened and not try to extrapolate until we know the actual facts of the tragic event. kristen: yeah. the investigation is in its earliest stage of course. in terms of what you saw, presumably, he tried to show his wound to the driver of that car. and while we don't know for sure the person saw him before driving away, it is possible looking at that video that somebody saw an injured man and drove off, left without doing

anything? >> yeah. he was very close to the car. it looked like he was trying to show the car, the driver that he was injured by lifting his shirt. the car seemed to be stopping at the corner, may be waiting for someone, may be a driver trying to pick someone up. there was nobody else on the street. nothing else was going on. it was early morning -- an early hour of the morning. i would be surprised if they didn't see him doing what he did. also when he was walking in that direction, before he approached the car, he was holding the spot where it appears he may have been stabbed and also doing something with his phone, maybe indicating he was calling someone, it is unclear at this point. kristen: tell us about that area, is not that near all the luxury condos, considered a safer part of the city? >> rincon hill is a really safe

part of the city. but the city is a safe place in general and i think we need to remember that the homicide rate in san francisco is some of the lowest in the nation. some cities have far higher rates of homicide. lots of homeless people and straights that don't feel safe don't necessarily mean that the city is full of homicidal maniacs, which it isn't. much of the city is quite safe. this neighborhood is also -- as you said, there are some offices, lots of condos, some of them expensive condos. it is not a very busy part of the city, other than rush-hour. it is right by the embarcadero. there is may one bar nearby. there's not a whole lot going on. but i would say is one of the -- it's one of the safest parts of the city. the city is generally safe wherever you go. kristen: and google's

headquarters in san francisco are right there as well -- is there. talking about safety, you are looking at numbers, but at the same time you are looking at incidents such as this one that rattled people. public safety has certainly been a hot button issue and priority number one. has the stabbing already reignited the debate? >> lots of people i think are speaking out of hand without the actual details of what happened. we just don't know. they are making this out to be a signal of san francisco's death spiral or some other kind of interpretation and i think it is really unfounded. we do not know what happened. until you do, we can't make these kinds of statements. people like to say these things about san francisco all the time. this is a common thing to say when things are looking bad and you just piled on. again i think we should look at the numbers. and we should remind ourselves what happened when kate steinle,

a woman from the east bay, was accidentally shot on the pier not far from this incident right when trump became president and he used this to attack san francisco and what he called "the unsafe streets," so similar kinds of interpretation without any basis of facts can be made now in the same way, it is just as a responsible. we just need to be careful. let's find out what happened. if in fact this is some bellwether of san francisco's decline or then fine, but let's wait until the fax line up before you can make things up based on what you imagine the world to be. kristen: sure. one of the articles on the standard today, saying bob lee killing, a tipping point in a city fed up with crime? we shall see. really appreciate your coverage. >> thank you. kristen: our coverage of bob lee's tragic death

continues next. a longtime close friend of his will be joining us to talk about bob's life and how he hopes he will be remembered. stay with us.

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kristen: the stabbing death of former chief technology officer of the square payment app has stunned, sad end, and enraged the tech community. so many of his friends say bob lee's legacy will be sorely missed. with us is the cofounder of fpv ventures who worked side-by-side with bob in the early days of google. thanks so much to come on to talk about bob lee. i know it's got to be so hard and we want to send our condolences to you. >> thank you.

it is absolutely devastating and shocking that happened. kristen: i feel like this is so trite and you already said is absolutely devastating. but what did bob mean to you? >> bob was an amazing who just had this electric energy, was a coach to so many startup founders and a friend of so many people in the lonely journey of building a company, building product. he would always show up with this amazing energy and cheer you on, saying you could go do it. i did it when i became an investor. somebody i knew when i was an engineer and product manager at google. his absence is going to be stunning. it is a huge role to fill. kristen: what did he do or create that to you was just sheer brilliance? >> i mean, bob's resume read like a fortune cover article. he was a senior engineer at google. he was the first ct

of square and founded cashapp. the ended up change in the world of -- changing the lives of billions of users around the world. his impact a stunning. kristen: if anyone has used an android phone or product you owe something to bob and his creation? >> yeah. he wrote major pieces of the android operating system, available today. absolutely brilliant in what he did. kristen: can you tell us what his nickname was crazy bob? >> it was crazy and a good way. he would always come with such an electric energy that people thought he was -- and such big ideas, that people thought he was kind of off his rocker. so we kind of called him crazy bob. kristen: like what? what a crazy idea? >> like building a payments company like square, everybody can pay each other using some app. on android, what if we did this feature and build that feature? his energy was electric. if you look at his investing

portfolio, i'm an investor. he's one of the folks that i've known for so long. he cheered me on in doing this. i didn't think i was in -- i was an investor. i was this engineer. he had this amazing energy to him, he would say, all join along -- i will join along. joining some of his projects, joining some of the things, he would cheer you on to do. kristen: he was never saying, can't do it, always envisioning something we haven't thought of. of course that is how we all pay each other now, with our mobile paymenta apps. that's what he was doing with mobile coin. >> he saw things we ahead of everyone else and he was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time where people would take advantage of his amazing talents. given what happened with him being stabbed to death, it is the exact opposite, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, just tragic. kristen: we have reported he was just here in san francisco visiting apparently having moved

to miami not to long ago -- too long ago? do you know what he left? >> i believe he was in town for a work project. this is all hearsay. a friend of mind told me he was in town for that. this is absolutely tragic. he moved to miami and then this happens. kristen: why did he move? i know you've talked to him the last couple of years. why did he leave? >> that i'm not sure of. i think for family reasons and partly work as well, the area of tech he was and is crypto and miami was a center of excellence for that. kristen: california in the past couple of years. right? >> yeah. i moved to wyoming. kristen: did it have anything to do with the city of san francisco? did you ever experience violence or anything like that here? >> san francisco's sometimes a

difficult place to live in, there are many great things about it such as the tech system and a lot of wonderful, innovative folks that live there. it's been challenging especially during the pandemic. one of those things where for me personally it was time for me to move on to a place where it was less challenging to live. kristen: had you ever felt unsafe here? >> yes, i have. kristen: have you ever been mugged? >> yes, i have. kristen: did you feel like that was responded to with any degree of urgency or satisfaction? >> no, it wasn't. but again, that is part and parcel sometimes to living in san francisco. kristen: looking at this, i am sure it makes you quite sad, obviously for the loss of bob. >> devastated. kristen: it sound like you love san francisco. you spend a lot of time here. >> san francisco wasn't credibly kind to me with the ecosystem that was there, my first job -- was incredibly kind to me with the ecosystem that was there, my first job. to bob as well, we look back fondly on many opportunities we were lucky enough to be part of simply by being in san francisco

. it is just tragic that they came to this with bob. kristen: as you talk to your circle of friends, people will view this as a one-off -- or do you think there may be less effective kind of an additional mass exodus? which was already happening because of the pandemic and the cost and people not having to be he. what do you think? >> i will say that so many of us are just so shocked and devastated by what happened with bob, we haven't thought much about whether san francisco's still a great place to live or terrible place to live -- we are just focused on grieving for bob and remembering his amazing accomplishments and his memory. our hearts go out to his family and friends. it is absolutely tragic. kristen: absolutely. i know he leaves behind a couple of kids and -- i guess, what do you want people to remember about bob lee? >> look, he gave me this amazing advice as i was becoming an

investor, he just said, believe in what you are capable of doing and go do more than believe. the founders he worked with, team members and engineers, that's what he coached them to go to, part of his legend of being crazy bob. that is one memory that i take from my precious time with bob. its that. kristen: wesley chan, the cofounder of fpv ventures, thank you so much for talking to us today. much more on bob lee's coming up later today on abc7 news. stephanie sierra is digging into the investigation, which of course is just getting started. we looking at the big picture of safety in san francisco. our live team coverage continues in less than an hour on abc7 news at 4:00.

kristen: the journal of the

american medical association published an alarming study last week, mental health hospitalizations for children increased 25% in 10 years. for youths under 17, suicide was the second leading cause of death. parents often ask, can their parenting style affect their child's mental health? anotr udy published in the journal of epidemiology and psychiatric scienc sdefinit. joining us . thanks so much for your time. >> thank you for having me. kristen: what did the study find about parenting style and kids' mental health? >> the study found that when we have reactive parenting, they call it hostile parenting, so that is aggressive, shouting, hitting, just not volatile parenting style, when parents are acting that way towards their children, we see an increase in mental health

symptoms like anxiety and depression. kristen: what is causing parents to adopt that style? >> parents are overwhelmed. they don't know how to parent. they are not sure how to support their child. so we react. we want to stop the behavior but we don't have better tools and we are not sure how to navigate the parenting landscape. that just feels so overwhelming right now. kristen: can i just tell you, there are parenting books, which of course i read when i became a parent, but nobody really knows. it is almost like t error anyouook at tact onouelanyourid- s wh ithe imct dsheherentincte parenting? what did the study show? >> parents don't always know, but there are tools. that is what we aim to teach. we want to teach our children tools and ourselves self-regulation.

what the studies show is when we do not have that and we do not have the parenting tools, when we are not able to self regulate, then our children, they are in this heightened alert state. think about it at work -- if your boss was always coming to you and you did not know when they were going to yell at you or shame you or simply start screaming and put you on a very long time out over in your cubicle, you would be really tense and overwhelmed at work. so children feel the same way. they need consistency. they need to be in a safe environment. and they need to know that even if they make a mistake and even if they act out, they are not bad. they are learning. because we are learnin learning from our mistakes. as parents and humans, and teaching that the children as well. kristen: surprisingly, didn't

the study also find warm parenting style didn't necessarily help? think our generation tries to embrace that. >> that is such a good point. it is not that we have to always be warm with our children and we don't always -- sometimes parents feel confused, if i'm not going to be reactive or hostile, if i'm not going to toe the line in this authoritarian way, that i need to be this other extreme. you don't have to be the other extreme or give our children everything they want and give them all of our time and attention at all hours and be on their back on call because that is not healthy either. what they did find in the study and we are talking about in the education space is that children do need consistency. and really logical consequences, they are really healthy for children. an example is, if i didn't eat my dinner and my child did not

eat their dinner, they cannot have dessert. that is logical. if you miss dinner, perhaps you are going to go hungry and the next time you are going to know that, yes, i should eat my dinner. hostile parenting would not let that logical consequence happen. it would be, you didn't eat dinner, now you need to go to the room and spend the whole night in the room and not come out at all and go hungry. that would be an extreme version. kristen: that would just be punishment. it's not related, right? >> exactly. kristen: okay. what if you find you are having a hard time as a parent changing your own behavior? >> i giggle because i feel that is the key to it all, if i am a parent and i'm having a hard time changing my behavior, and believe me, i am a parent, i've had many hard moments of changing my behavior, that is why i actually wrote the book, "break free from reactive parenting," i found myself needing to change and not knowing how. if you need to change your

behavior, then it starts with self-regulation, learning tools for calming your own nervous system. one of my favorite go to tools is, i'm feeling overwhelmed right now, i want to yell at my child, i don't like the way they are acting, i'm going to pause, walk into the other room turn on the kitchen, sink, bathroom sink, let over my hands and i am going to notice how that feels, i am going to let my brain go from the lower part of the brain to the upper part of the brain, the more rational thinking mind, and then i'm going to address the issue with my child. kristen: thank you so much. that's great information. we will take a short break a here to tell you about life insurance through the colonial penn program. if you're age 50 to 85, and looking to buy life insurance on a fixed budget, remember the three ps. the three what? the three ps? what are the three ps?

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kristen: thank you so much for joining us today for "getting answers." we will be here every weekday at 3:00 p.m. answering >> tonight, the deadly tornado outbreak taking aim at the heartland. images coming in at least five people killed and homes damaged, trees down across parts of missouri. if training new touching down before sunrise. 11 reported tornadoes in four states in the past 24 hours. louisiana to the north east, 30 million people on storm ale alert. former vice president mice mikee will testify in the decision comes 24 hours after former president trump was indicted on criminal charges. rachel scott is in west palm beach. a body camera video of the

deadly police