chris pines. against jimmy kimmel live. this part. first. music from the warren treaty. with clean oh, in the completo. jimmy kimmel. great. we had a. enough of that. thank you. it was a big weekend of basketball.

you watch any of the games this weekend, guillermo coach basketball, huh? jimmy i went to my son, kevin and i went to the lakers bulls game yesterday and my son's a bulls fan for reasons we don't understand, but the bulls won. it wasn't really a close game. but it was fun because lebron came back, and some of the bulls this year used to be lakers, including patrick beverley. this guy played for the lakers. they traded him last month, and it seems like he's still mad because twice during the final minute. when the game was basically over. he held his nose as if to say the lakers stink and then and i wish this was on camera, but i'm sitting right in front of them. some of the fans behind us said something like the lakers, which they still had you, patrick, and he did this and he goes, they said. i got no heart on the scarecrow. i got no heart and of course, i didn't have the heart to tell him. it was the tin man who had no heart. scarecrow scarecrow! ironically had no brain. i didn't mention that to

him either seemed like he was going through enough already. but in the n c, double a. the final four. this final four was on nobody's bracket. five seeds miami and san diego state. nine seed florida atlantic and four seated yukon are going to play for the national title. yukon advanced after beating gonzaga university, in a strange turn of events, found myself rooting for this imaginary school on saturday. i was all in on gonzaga because they're really they're the ultimate cinderella story in that, like cinderella. they're also fictional characters who do not exist. for years. i've been sounding the alarm that gonzaga is not a real place. it's a basketball team and only a basketball team. well up in spokane, washington, which is kind of like the north pole to gonzaga, santa claus, my crusade to expose the truth about this is causing some of the local news outlets to question whether or not they've been duped, too. started in the tooth. 1019 tournament when kimmel insisted gonzaga did not exist, saying he still needs to come visit contact. we've been

saying that for years we'll show them around. we want to get kimmel in spokane and on g u. s campus, but to do that we do need help from you. you can use the hashtag hashtag kimmel to g you on twitter, so let's use that hashtag. give jimmy your best evidence on why gonzaga exists. i think there's a few people think of a place. we've been there. been there just like that's where you just take me to the cornfield and do away with them. know how no one ever mentioned me being killed in a cornfield. now i'm definitely not going up there. and by the way, if i did go out there another to be like eight people just stand there waiting to laugh at me. but for the time being like the easter bunny or a spirit halloween store, gonzaga disappears from the earth for another year and if you still don't understand that this is a hoax. do yourself a favor. get some scrabble tiles and try this if you rearrange the letters of gonzaga and add a few and changed the zito and ask, you

know what it spells jorge santos . that's right. he's been playing the long game and. congressman jorge santos must be missing being on the news every night because he, for some reason, decided to shoot a video reviewing the new nasa space suit. everybody's so congressman jorge santos here and i'm gonna give the fashion review of the new lunar soon, which, quite frankly, just imbued last week. i personally like it. i like orange, and i think it gives it a lot of personality is a pretty cool looking suit. i know everybody is used to the whole white space suit and the whole floating this, but i think the black is pretty sleep. i think the orange gives it a pop of color. and i quite frankly think this looks like the future. i tell you what? i didn't think much of the serial liar sociopath congressman, but jorge santos, the astronaut, fashion policeman. i like a lot. to say he's just a great feeling to know that we're back on that race to space and but this

announcement of going back to the moon and just awesome, gnarly looking suit love the orange nasa. you got a thumbs up from congressman george santo. it's no greater honor than that. that's congrats. and don't forget that's coming from a guy who's been to the moon many times many, many times while donald trump was up, posting about his possible indictment on truth social until 3 30 this morning, which means he's either nervous or the chef mixed too much adderall in his bedtime gravy bucket, but he posted this on truth, he wrote, watching jonah hill in 21 jump street made me like jewish people again. oh, wait a minute. hold on. oh, no, that's kanye west. that was that was i think that was kanye who posted that kanye . if you heard it's decided he likes jewish people now. thanks to a standout performance from jonah hill in 21 jump street. this might be the first time in

history that anti semitism has been defeated by a rerun on tbs. so the other car. kanye west wing had a rally this weekend in waco on the 30th anniversary of the siege that claimed the lives of 86 people there. you know, if that happened now he'd side with the branch davidians, right? he'd be like i like david koresh. he likes me. that's a good thing. not a bad thing. trump chose waco because it's a powerful metaphor for his campaign. he's going down in flames, and he's taken his cult followers with him. health court for 90 minutes he did all the hits even made time for a personal tack on his old flame. stormy daniels was investigating me for something that is not a crime. not a misdemeanor, not an affair. i never liked horse face. i never liked it's just not terrible. that wouldn't be the one there is no one we have a great first lady. yes her name

is jill biden. but just to be clear. let him get away. wouldn't do it. but if he had done it, he wouldn't have done it with her after the rally, stormy herself in response to a tweet that said president trump wouldn't touch you with a 10 ft pole replied. true he used the three inch one and won the day. congratulations. burger king really cooked up. some extra big whoppers at this rally is, he said if he was president, he'd end the war in ukraine in 24 hours, his plane flew into the song danger zone. he entered to the national anthem as sung by and i'm not making this up acquire composed of people incarcerated for storming the capital on january 6th. because it's number one and every single category. number two was taylor swift. number

three was molly cyrus cyrus, number four salami, gomez. not only was trump on hand in waco, all the usual character spoke on his behalf, including clan mom, matt child safety gates and not only then ted nugent, who treated the crowd to an untrue and homophobic slur of the president of ukraine, want my money back? i didn't authorize any money to ukraine to some homosexual wait, weirdo. want my money back. you have no money. your last hit was 43 years ago. go back to your tree standard. be quiet. you know, it's easy to feel like they're like a ton of crazy people because it looks like there are but the venue in waco hoods holds 50,000 people you can see from this aerial view the crowd was about i don't know 47,000 short of capacity, people show up to the annual sausage showdown in waco then showed up to this event today,

by the way, happens to be a very notable date in measurable history. you know what day it is today, guillermo? no, jimmy think he would. today is the 25th anniversary. of the fda approving viagra for, um use. i know you're probably too conscious except for that guy to applaud, but viagra is changed life for the better for millions of american men and for the worst for millions of american women. but today they commemorated this important occasion at fighter headquarters where they're partying. the only way they know how hard somebody wants. told me. the world is gonna roll me. i ain't the sharpest to share she was looking kind of dumb with finger and thumb in the shape of the nail on a forehead. start coming and they don't stop coming to the rules and i hit the ground running didn't make sense not to live for fun. brink is smart, but your head gets done so much

to do so much to see what's wrong with taking the backstreets. you'll never know if you don't go i have a show in if you don't blow now. chicken c'mon, go play. hey, now you're a rock star. and another. shooting stars. brothers. i love you watch the season premiere of succession last night on hbo, but it is the fourth and final season and so when they rolled out the red carpet in new york we sent our man guillermo there to cover it the way only guillermo can. it's me gear mom here for the red carpet for the show, subsection section that session

. set exception. suck section, okay. i don't watch the show, but it's gonna be fun. hey this guy who's in the shop? oh, hi. how are you? how are you doing? listen i never watched the show never watched. very good. it's not. it's just a lot of chance. so what is the show about? it's about a media family . and it's also about a guy called tom and his life is really funny. sexy guy. yeah play time. he's great. he's like a crown cameron. charismatic heroic, most handsome guy in the show. won't tell me i don't watch the show. but tell me what ? what is this? yours either. go ahead. what is the show about about nurses? yeah equipment and stuff like that. what happened in the first two seasons? first two seasons. what can i say? somebody killed somebody. um, somebody tried to cover up for

it. somebody got married. um somebody took over the business . somebody fought to take over the business and then didn't kind of boring, right? yeah, i mean, yeah. succession section accession. suck set session. you got it. session session. i love you in a home alone movie. not me. scary, grandpa. i don't know. some other guy the guy from the little animal from baby little animal. yes yeah, that one. yeah that was a great movie. thank you very much. i think so, too. yeah. i love you and ferris bueller's day off. thanks me too. i like me. and that too. can you look into the camera and tell jimmy i deserve a day off jimmy guillermo deserves a day off. you're from sweden. but you don't have no action. nothing like that. i do want to show you doing the show. don't watch the show. what should i watch the show? oh, i e an by bac. pick one.innie babm

close your eyes. close your eyes for good luck. and now you gotta pick one. alright so it's soft foreign. how do you say sapphire? sapphire to keep this . keep it. yeah it's a good look. it's a good look. thank you so much. how are you, sir how you doing? this is my wife by how are you look beautiful. listen, every time i see your husband, i guess so happy. yeah time i see you. you look happy. you know why? because i drink a lot of tequila. oh you wanna shut it? tequila tequila. give you a shout out to kill her right now. what's your cat phrase countries is off, but not for the don't offer. this is just fine. wow, that's good. wait hold on. how come you didn't wait for me? where's yours? can you still alive again

feel one more session is cussing . gregg toland. real life. oh i don't know. i can never see him. yeah different. cousin. great real tour in real life. uh no. he's just a really good actor should have a cat phrase, right? he should okay, i'll have him greg, and for more. that's it. yeah you got to sell it at one. this is my favorite one. okay might look like a little bit. that's only because i am great drink tequila, too. how do you say, subsection suck sessions of suck ! suck a session of sucking, all right. session all r can you read it? can you get ready for this documents? come

in, please. thank you very much in the city. cheers, babe. superb if you like a child tequila, we have smell like tequila. do you're the one always send a text pictures, right pictures you want to see? what do you want to see? one yeah. terrific you are drunk. thank you. 100 but his brian cox fault it made me do like four or five showers. a killer. off. everybody front short tonight from dave. dave bird is here. we

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please join us. no actor in all of hollywood can match our first guest combination of charisma, talent and mountain fresh scent. starting friday, he rolls his 20 sided dice on the new fantasy adventure dungeons and dragon's honor among thieves. it is only in theaters, please welcome chris pine. these what did you make me? let's keep that music going on what's going on here, chris, after all that, drinking that guillermo's do i feel like okay

, so the flour is a gift that i the store from backstage. okay, but it is fresh and beautiful, because that's what you are. thank you, um sweet and i want to apologize for getting covid. last time i missed. that's not your fault. i mean, it's certainly not your fault. you know, you should apologize if you'd come with covid. that would have been the real crime. well thank you very much. gift number two. is a wine. it's called miss savvy b or the sweet nectar from those feelings. i grow that at my house for real. swear to god. and that's also because i was at your house in los fills the grapes the winds that actually made at my house. okay alright. good. alright then i'll drink it. all right? great yeah, well, thank you very much. that's very young man. fashion i like that you're doing that. i appreciate my grandparents used to do that. but it was because they were poor, you know, grim made wine grape truck would come around the neighborhood in brooklyn and everybody buy grapes and then down in the

basement, they'd make the most disgusting wine possible. that's true. absolutely true. and then they pour soda in it because it's like an italian thing. when the wine is not very good. you pour soda in it, and it doesn't taste as bad. yeah what kind of soda do they put it in the wine, sprite or something like that? yeah. that's strong. is it nationals? viagra dated the anniversary of viagra. 25th anniversary? yeah why were you did you feel like you missed? you don't seem like a man who's ever required any viagra to me, but i could be wrong. tuesday's tuesdays. by tuesday. you want to hang out till tomorrow then because i think there's a couple of ladies up in the. . congratulations on this movie of yours, which is being very well received. i gotta tell you. it's a lot nicer when people like the film when they when they don't what do you do when

you come here and you know you got a dog on your hands? how do you handle? tell you, man that's gonna happen in the future. i don't want to give away my secrets. look i play i play make believe for a living. always find something fun to talk about something i enjoy doing and you just you know, so it's acting then in a way when you come out pure con. yeah it is tricking people out of like $13. yeah yeah but this one youdon't have to trick and that's not something relaxing, right? yeah it does. we were in westwood. what? we've been all over the world. we were in berlin and paris and london. four uh, tour and then last night at westwood, my favorite theater in l. a just gorgeous old. uh i don't know if it's a deco theater. but you know, one of those beautiful old l a theaters which one? was it? the westwood? um oh, yeah, i know which one. that is, where all the big big premieres across from diddy. riese yeah. all the big premieres are there. it's like 1200 seats and it was like

a rock concert. did you bring a lot of people to? it brought 60 people. that is a lot of people. like your whole family and everything. family friends of family people didn't know from off the street just like anything that kind of build up the audience. so someone who lives here is wondering if they are your friends or not, and they did not get invited to that premiere last night. the answer is no. yeah. thanks pal. okay, thank you. yeah. but yeah, it was a fun night. uh people love the movie people like the movie . yeah i mean, you know, and then afterwards he going to the party and everybody shaking your hand. you're feeling you're feeling good. you gotta hit film. and i'm feeling great shaking hands, but i appreciate that. don't thank you so much blast doing it. and then these two beautiful women come up to me and i shake my hand. they say that the movie was so great, you know, thank you so much. is your father here? really father was on the tv show called chip.

yeah, sure. so then i end u having to basically shop around. my father takes selfies with this gaggle of people that have surrounded my father. does he like that thunder did? yeah yeah , that was very well. wait till tuesday, you know we'll be back . you are. you were very hairy. the last time you were on the show you had a beer. youhad a big beard. you really were going sound. that's a beard like you. what happened? you get bugs in that thing or what was the idea that the dead of summer in burbank it was 110 degrees, and i was like i'm not liking this. ah yeah, i said, screw it. i went home and i shave the whole thing which felt great for, like, five minutes that i realized how much gray hair i am. oh, yeah, right. this is a photo of your long hair. this is beardless, but not to. i heard you say something. i heard you

say something about this and what? what what it made you feel like it's one of the it's gonna make me feel like but so as you okay, let's just break down this photo. this guy, uh, feeling it really is feeling it. he's feeling very cool. uh huh. this is right before my publicist says that i looked like rachel from friends. that? not a huge compliment? yeah. yeah well, yeah. i mean yeah, you should have said thank you is what you should have said. i shouldn't have been. why? because i mean, listen, you ever seen a better looking human being than this right here? come on, now, not a chance. no i'm not taking away from jennifer.

and don't throw me under the bus like that. i think jennifer anderson is a beautiful woman, right? you just said the hair. yeah. well but anyway, we'll take a commercial break check in and we'll see. um yeah, i'll take your parts. you know what i'm saying? part you brought me flowers and wine. we got to do something. here is movie is dungeon and dragons honor. what's he doing? he's cleaning the trash cans. boy meeting a new young homeowner for the first time is a unique challenge. so you think you can help i can try. hey, what you doing? just cleaning my trash cans. wow it's important to build. trust what? your address and phone number on here. you can never be too safe. with trash progressive can't protect you from becoming your parents, but we can't protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. look at the hedges. they're a mess at the hedges. marshals are buyers spend every day

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it exactly that you bring to this? i'm a i'm a planner, you know. make plans. you've already made the plants. so what value

do you have now? if the plan fails the existing plan i make a new plan. so you make plans that fail. he also plays the lute. not relevant. trust me indispensable. theaters. only it's only gonna be in the movie theaters, movie theaters. it's a fun one to see what the cri 95% on rotten tomatoes, which is especially but even more importantly, for audience scored. i mean, the audience is i gotta tell you and this is not bs, and that's not me trying to sell, but seeing it with a group of people reminds you how awesome a cinema experience can be like why? why you do it? why you make it while you go to it to share in that experience, it's just finished directing, and he wrote, directed and starred in the movie corrupt. who is who else is in that movie with danny devito, jennifer jason leigh. wow, otherwise. stephen

tobolowsky, one of my favorite character, great. yeah, me too. i love that guy. um clancy brown we have now we're getting too deep into the list. yeah. um but it's a great tobolowsky is great . yeah, vito seems like a guy who makes everything fun like you had him on many times, and he's always so much fun like even the commercials. he's fun. i got it. i mean, what i learned from devito. it's like a life lesson, which is like you face everything with absolute joy. uh huh. everything's joyful. you want to do presses joyful sitting in the trailers, joyful lunchtime is joyful. let's go to craft services. it's always positive. it's always he's trying to make. he loves bits he loves, you know, getting into the getting into it. when does that movie come out? i don't know. you don't know? okay? now this i'm curious about dungeons and dragons as far have you played dungeons and dragons played it twice twice. okay, so you're not going to pretend to be a dungeons and dragons?

master a dungeon, part of it. because we have someone on our staff who we recently learned as we're talking about this movie is a dungeon master as they call this a person people or anybody. does anybody play here? no. know what? it's one of the questions. one of the questions we ask at the door, so let's% bring our coworkers out here. we have three coworkers and chris, you're going to have to find out who's the dungeon master? okay, and we'll see if you can. need any help you some questions that you can ask her. this is tim. this is megan blue loser announcer. megan works in casting. tim is a field producer on our show. one of these people is a dungeon master. you sizing them up? i see already. what are your thoughts? what's going through your head right now.

give him a little time is settled once scared them scare them. yes. okay. alright. yeah. they do look terrified the heroes and r d and d game or in town, and they're being attacked by a dragon. instead of dealing with a monster. they spend all their time flirting with acute half elf npc. how do you get them back on track? oh that's a great question. dragon takes the cute npc away. oh okay. does that make sense? yeah. running and running and grit snatches. you agree with that? that's better. i was gonna say, punish them for wasting time and maybe turn the mpc into like a succubus or something and make them fight it. lou was going to say that the elf girl was it dragon all along. okay alright, you megan's that doesn't mess you're saying oh, you're guessing already know you. we should have some more questions.

you know what? let's ask some more questions. can i tell you something? you're absolutely right. megan is done. no girl win. i'm going to tell you another girl. tim is also a dungeon master and lewis a dungeon master, too. even know about who worked here . how many dungeon masters the us out. we have a few too many. yeah are you guys excited to go see the movie that? absolutely yeah. you have anything you would like to present as a gift for chris pine. actually, do i have i bequeath you my lucky d 20 that contains the eyeball of an undead serpent. wow, megan. after great peril i gift you my elven ear. elvin here, lou. wow. i can't believe you're partying with this loop. many photos with this sword, chris.

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you. this is a show stoppers, baby sunday and monday. everybody is bringing the house down. the final judgment could see gloves to come off some of your favorites. going home. you're not going to be in our top 24 american idol news sunday and monday on abc. is on the way. our next guest is the artist known as little dickie and the man known as dave. you can watch the third season of his exceptionally funny show dave condoms here. the same condoms everywhere. why don't they make like smaller condoms for the smaller, make magnums for like big man i feel like the kind of would stay on the easier if it was smaller, sometimes concerned about stds. won't you just use the scroll guard my plastic diaper private business. don't talk about it. i don't know what he's talking

about, but he's not dangerous, crazy, man. i'm joking. premieres april 5th on fxx. look at you look very handsome. you're all dressed up your shows. very funny. i watched. i feasted on the first three episodes show. yeah i'm glad you enjoyed that didn't do that. i eat. i ate it. i had mustard on it and everything. how are you doing? i'm fantastic guys. i got a great season come and seasons through activity. season was your natural overseas in your recording your debut album, psychological war, psychological war, and this season, your experiencing the fruits of your labor? yes yes, the road tour

across america seeing what's going on in this nation. yeah and this is something that you probably like. i'm sure you had that moment where you realize, like, oh, people want to come was a gradual or was there a moment where he realized it was pretty sudden the internet is kind of a bizarre where you can really cult. beta fan base without having any experience, performing all of all of a sudden, like my first show. i had never. i don't even do karaoke prior to this, by the way, i had to do like a 2000 person performance. and that was your first show. yeah and i like build up the cardio strength required out of me to make that performance happen. and then the next one happened. i wasn't even better shape and yeah, it gets really scary, scariest day of my life. it also thrilling, thrilling, but i'm not a thrill seeker. you're not at all. no. yeah that's very clear on the show. hate roller coasters. i hate out of comfort zone, adjacent experiences and more of a sit on the couch. talk to jimmy kind of guy would say you're you seem comfortable in

uncomfortable, at least on the show very comfortable and very uncomfortable situations. yeah, yeah, well, you know, you gotta right in the comedy of life, and sometimes the comedy can get a little uncomfortable. that's right. for instance, there's a would you call it a device? the device device? yeah sexual safety device like an add on to the condom. uh this is that people don't really know about whom a condom is not enough protection. it's called the scroll guard. yeah truly. and you wear it? yeah how you kick off the yeah, the new season. this is again is a real item. real item. they make these. yeah did they sell them or they just make them let them i think the company has gone under yahoo! uh but, yeah, you know, without being too crude, the condom sometimes can only cover so much

of the area of the body. so this is like there's a whole pubic mound. uh, that that you know, so and this is based on something that really went through your head. are you asking me if i've ever used one of those? i am yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah. because one time one time what did the young lady say? when did she ask you to wear this? here's what happened. basically, i was on tour very, you know, much like the show and go on tour. you'll meet people and then you'll faster relationships and be like, oh, i'm coming back the same city and a year from now, and i was coming back to the city and i was excited to meet a woman that i met the year prior. so i texted her saying i was going to be there. it was all well and good. and that morning, i shave my pubic hair. that's how i carry myself as a man. i say i do that, and i nicked my pubic. mound uh, you know, i was like, oh, my god. and then i literally in my hotel room, uh, kind of on my penis to see if the condom

would cover where i nicked it would not cover it. so my whole game plan was totally thrown out the window after that. yeah, and then luckily one of my friends who gave me this thing as a joke. and i just had it in my bag and that night were you know it was getting hot and heavy, and i just had warned her. by the way, i told her, i said, by the way, just f y i didn't nick myself shaving, so there's only there's a limit to how far we can go sexually tonight, said that and then you know, in the throws of passion, sometimes your limits. i don't know. but all i know is that i said look, we're not gonna have sex and she was a little said there is one way and then i pulled it out of the thing and she was very accepting, and it was honestly a great experience that such mind and i don't regret it, and i think everybody won that night. having sex with a balloon animal for her. it felt normal, huh? maybe she was being sweet. i honestly was touched by the whole experience, just the open mindedness. and yet you weren't

touched at all in a way, you know? you are, um, you got a lot of guest stars on or at least the beginning of the season. i saw killer mike km usher. sure first concert i ever went to that true is it rarely first show and i see this man on women were weeping, watching him as he would strip down into his underwear and give like the lap. and honestly, i now stripped down to my underwear when i give shows because of usher and because of him that on set when i met him for the first time in my react to that he thought it was cool. and when you strip down to your underwear are you wearing the scroll guard? or is it just just the under the post concert concert thing? okay, only shower steps. you gotta pace out tonight. who else is on the show this season? there's so many. there's dan cheryl with a legend rick ross on the show ross, honestly and even towards the end of the season, there are people that are so unbelievable that i can't even reveal them. but just the unbelievable and

what away just like i don't know where you're going next. once you have really believe what we've achieved, so you've got some a start more than one star that is like at a level that we won't even be able to fathom. for me. yeah, that's how i feel. yeah child and me was like, oh, my god. i can't believe that i've collaborated with these people that kanye west. no no, it's not. oh yeah, because that would be a bad surprise. and later after you shot it, yeah. interesting. is it madonna? no but madonna is a fan of the show. and that that was cool to see that. well, there you go. you hear that? a lot from people and you go like oh, wow. how can we work them in? you know, i try not to strictly think strategically at all times, but yeah, sure. yeah you're happy. all right, little bit. and jeff shake you on their listen. i haven't been asked. maybe i'm the surprise guest and even i don't know it. well. you know? show in a way that i doesn't i shouldn't even have brought it

up in the show. we can use this exciting. well, the show is so funny, such a great job with it . season three of dave premieres april 5th on fxx and you're watching the next day. everybody. concert series is presented by mercedes bears the all electric mercedes benz lineup is here. i'm so happy that i get to see america. so what it is, you don't know my values. maybe we have more in common than you might think. why don't you just tell me what they are? uh what are our values?

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live concert series is presented by mercedes benz old electric mercedes benz slide up is here, chris pine and savored apologies of matt damon ran out of time for him. nightline is next but first album is called lover's game here at the song ain't no harm in me, the war and treaty. ah! yes

wouldn't plays and ain't no way . you. ain't no way you can. lynton and death. the devil's here. yeah rather mannini harming me and know how. me

harming me. coming me? devil. you can. no way. no. they don't harming me.

this is nightline. tonight jeremy renner going from a hospital bed to this around a lot. just three months after suffering life threatening injuries in a snow cat accident . it's given the avengers star speaking exclusively with diane sawyer. do you remember the pain ? all of it? yeah i was awake through every moment. he's incredible road to recovery, his family helping him every step of the way. we just endured that's real love. suffering but feeds seeds would love it. plus on set with ellie golding. love me like you do singer.