tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC April 10, 2023 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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>> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!." tonight, jeremy renner and metallica with plato and the croutons. now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for rocking up and joining us here on the monday after easter sending. i hope you found a lot of eggs yesterday. i forgot to count the eggs
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before i head them around the house which is a mistake. there is a rotten eggs smell like rotten eggs. they are terrible. at the white house this morning, the bidens hosted the annual growth. why they do this the day after easter, i don't know. was like, i have to rise again again? the theme f the white house egg roll this year, they have a theme every year, this year's theme was eggucation it's the same as last year. i get it was so good they decided to do it twice. this isn't the first time they repeated themes. when trump was president, the team as egglomaniac for careers in a row. everyone has one. the president and first lady enjoyed a beautiful day in washington with the bunny right next to them and then it was time to roll the eggs. jaw turns out it can whistle. the games began, and aren't they adorable? children are so cute when they
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are larping. when you are president, easter is a big day. yesterday, president obama, our 44th president tweeted "i want to wish all who celebrate a happy and blessed easter." it's just you has our loved ones tight and give thanks to new beginnings and blessings we all enjoy and then president number 445 weighed in posting in all caps "happy easter to all, including those that remain endlessly of destroying our country because they are incapable of dreaming about anything else. those that are so incompetent that don't realize that having a border and powerful waltz is a good thing and having water all day, all paper ballot and same-day voting will quickly and massive voter fraud and to all those weak and pathetic rhinos, radical left democrats, socialist, marxist, and communists were killing our nation, remember we will be back."
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wow. [applause] happy easter. what a warm and lovely man. instead of making license plates, we should have him write greeting cards. at this point, donald trump's brain is basically a bowl of microwave peeps. he did share a religious message yesterday. "i prefer sons of god that weren't captured and crucified." he didn't actually write that, but i feel like 70% of you believed it and that's telling. this is what he actually tweeted. this is his easter message of peace. he wrote "world war three." that's it. all of this is what you would be thinking about too if you're 39 year old son was still under the couch looking for jelly beans. "eric, get out of the." he spent time at mar-a-lago further easter egg and which
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had. we got a first glimpse of melania in a while. look at those two lovebirds chatting it up. he's got his phone out. also if you look closely, you can see he has two diet coke spirit to cut diet coke's and a water right there on a table. board melania. he wakes up and easter and says i need you to come downstairs and eat an omelet on camera with me today. she did not go to miami with trump on saturday night. instead, his plus one was none other than kid rock. who, i wonder what those two are talking about. you know he doesn't even like ufc. he is like love the chicken. it's fantastic. [laughter] he doesn't know what's going on. [applause] right now, he may need the ufc. he is gearing up for a hell of a legal fight. it even four them. according to a new pullback from
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abc news, a majority of americans believe the former president intentionally broke the law, west 20% believe he didn't do anything wrong. these are the same people who believe jfk is coming back from the dead to win "the best singer." this 11% believe that trump acted wrongly but not intentionally. i don't know what, it was an? a a spider crawled into donald trump's underpants. luckily stormy daniels was there and she killed it with a magazine. she just beat it and beat it so hard, and then trump was so grateful he got his lawyers to seek to pay her $130,000. as a gesture of gratitude. it's called being grateful. the case in georgia looks to be a next trouble spot for trump. the d.a. has reportedly told 20 of his associates that they are targets of the investigation including rudy giuliani.
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he also filed a last-minute appeal to block mike pence from testifying before a grand jury about his conversations with trump of january 60 even the mike pence himself did not try to appeal that order. maybe trump should just pay mike pence $130,000 to keep his mouth shut. trump now has more lawyers than he does france, though he has been getting visits from his supporters including mr. my pillow, mike lendl who showed up to mar-a-lago and found himself caught in yet another sting operation. we got him joining us right now back at mar-a-lago. >> i just got stung by a break brandon. >> i hope you're not allergic, are you? >> no, i'm not allergic. what is that pain going into a? >> jimmy: surprised he didn't blame the machines for that. now dominion is sending robot bees into my butt. that's the deep state vaccine injection, mike.
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you belong t to a snappier with congressmen george santos, he is working so hard to distract us from the fact that he lied his way into the house of representatives. he went out and bought a jersey to pretend he's excited about the mets. >> hey, guys. today is opening day.d old metsw that you guys aren't going to be playing until april 6 back home, you guys aren't going to be playing until april 60 back home, but in good fashion, let's go mets! >> jimmy: he's a good or mets for man, giving the team a good old let's go mets. here's a guy's guy. he loves baseball. cracking open a six pack of zi zima. after much you know what i'm talking about, right? it's good. we have a great show for you tonight. yesterday, as you know, was easter. our first guest tonight also rose from the dead.
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jeremy renner is here. a terrible runner with a snow plow and he is here tonight. and then one of the all-time greats, more speakers and amps in here right now than all the guitar centers in the world. metallica is here. not just one night, but a whole week to celebrate their new album "72 seasons." metallica has accomplished everything over the years. everything a rock band can accomplish. 125 million albums, in the rock & roll hall of fame. the only american band that has played on the continent of antarctica. have you ever seen the performance? ♪ ♪ ♪ go, revolution ♪ ♪ that will be the day ♪ ♪ running red and struck ♪ ♪ now denial ♪ ♪ fire all right ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: that's how you do it
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up there. we also have a new number one movie in america, huge and new number one movie. open down the "super mario brothers" made $366 million, the biggest opening for any animated movie ever. mario and luigi beat anna and elsa and everyone else. our man is talking about "super mario brothers" movie. >> i talk about the new movie mario. mario is called that spore mario. browse down i used to blame mario. now i have the machine you call nintendo. mario is plumping like me.
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toilet, the shower. small guy, short guy like mini me and have mustache like gmo. guillermo. jesse is a good actor, he do the movie you know, with a dinosaur. the bad guy in the movie, jack black, he do the movie like dress like superman, like wrestling. you know? also the movie the japanese one, the one wire. he's also do a video again with kevin hart and the rock. i got a picture of them too. the monk in that movie, comedian guy from canada. jack remained. also in the movie dance with sausage" and also he
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put the baby inside the lady, i don't know how. very strong. smoke a lot of marijuana like snoop dogg and wiz khalifa. he laughs like that. [laughs] he laughs a lot. [laughter] go see the movie, a good movie. wahoo. that's it. game is over! >> jimmy: thank you, yaya. may god bless you. stay cool of you. thank you. thank you. god bless all of you. everyone watch the show. >> jimmy: i heard you have the flu. >> actually, last week, i'm very bad. now i'm good. i checked corona before i'm coming, i'm good.
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stephen you don't have coverage of it to mexico whenever i have it. i'm never got it. >> jimmy: you don't have to gloat. speak up but i love you, jimmy. >> jimmy: god bless you. god bless you also. that's yaya, everybody. may god bless him. we got a great show tonight. metallica is here. we'll be right back with jeremy renner, so stick around. ♪ ♪
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this is it. it is called "72 seasons." you're ready to bang that cabeza, guillermo? later this week, we have a new shows with bill hader bill hader, quinta brunson, john dr. jane goodall will be here on the one and only carol burnett will join us too saw please join us for all that we have at our first guest tonight is a two-tie oscar-nominated actor and avenger who beat thanos, loki, d a 14,000-pound snowplow. we are happy he is here. he has a new show called "rennervations" premiering wednesday on disney press. please welcome the indestructible jeremy renner! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ eah!
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>> jeremy: one look at this. this is ridiculous. is this a publicity stunt? >> jeremy: absolutely. even if there was any question as to who the toughest avenger was, that's settled now, right? [cheers and applause] forget downing, forget these guys. it's you, you're the guy. >> jeremy: i guess so. >> jimmy: i think i speak for all of us when i say thank god, look at you. you look great. [cheers and applause] this was, i imagine everybody knows the story, but we've heard it from you when you spoke to diane sawyer, but on new year's day, you were -- you walk your nephew up to help you plow some snow, and your snowplow started sliding towards your nephew. you got in front of the
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snowplow, is that correct? >> jeremy: i try to jump back on it to stop it from running him over and than i got eaten ue when you got under the snowplow and that was very bad. >> jeremy: are very, very bad way to start the year. >> jimmy: for both you, for you and your nephew. you broke more than 30 bonds? >> jeremy: 35 or so. even 35 or so. when you have to say or so when you are counting up how many burns your blog. stay to be kept discovering them because they want from political order of priority of what am i going to die from or not. six weeks later, finding another break and another break. even it puts you an evel knievel territory. >> jeremy: i got lucky in a lot of ways, so i'm happy to be here. >> jimmy: isn't it funny to say you got lucky after getting run over by a snowplow that broke so many bones? >> jeremy: it's a giant metal cookie roller, right? and it just missed every vertebrate, didn't hit any
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organs, my brain didn't swell, nothing like that you met my eye did pop out, that's weird. [laughs] i got very lucky that none of the organ's got messed. >> jim>> jimmy: it pierced your liver, though right? >> jeremy: it did, but it wasn't dangerous. >> jimmy: collapsed lung. >> jeremy: yeah, that's fine. i've got another one, right? >> jimmy: [laughs] [cheers and applause] i'm very happy to hear you are so relaxed about this. this is due in january. who took this photo? >> jeremy: probably my mom. did you, mom? >> jimmy: your mom is here? [cheers and applause] 's period, my lovely family. they've been at my side the entire time. even that's a big decision even to take this photo. i would imagine you're probably feeling like maybe it's going to be okay. >> jeremy: they are going to use this against me at some point. like you or me something. when you one you mentioned that to diane pavitt apologized to
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your family. >> jeremy: one thing i thought about was once i was clear enough, this is why i was on the ground before the ambulance got there, but my experience was like. then i had to think about alex, because alex was there during the entire time. he had to see me on the ground. i didn't see any of this stuff, but the blood everywhere and the thing and the eye. i had to consider what his perspective was. that kept happening with everyone's perspective throughout this entire ordeal. it's pretty harrowing to take the time to really consider somebody else's perspective. first of all, it's thoughtful, but it's >> jimmy: wanted youth start having those thoughts? how far into this? >> jeremy: as i was on the ground. >> jimmy: brighton? >> jeremy: i was there for 45 minutes, so i had some time. [laughter] >> jimmy: that had to be a very long 45 minutes. do you remember most of it? >> jeremy: all of it until i
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got into the helicopter to go to the hospital, that's when they jammed some sort of emergency knife or whatever they do in your chest. i don't know. that's when i was like, i got to go to sleep. >> jimmy: i remember you telling me that you work with the fire department? >> jeremy: i knew all those guys. the guy that did that drain my long so i wouldn't suffocate, caught my other firefighter friend and said we did the best we could, saying i am dead. all these different perspectives that happen. i was learning over the last few months. >> jimmy: wow, so they say like i really thought that was it for you. these are people you know. your neighbors -- >> jeremy: so many people thought i was dead and was going to die. i kept trying to get out of the hospital as soon as i was in a pavitt i'm out of here. i hate it, what i was wearing, it was gross.
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it was terrible. i thought i was there for a couple days. apparently i was there for a week, the first hospital. total -- there's 2 different icus. i got kicked out of the first one. >> jimmy: why? >> jeremy: they put you on so many drugs, and it was sort of -- it was under construction sort of icu. they were done with the icu area when i got there, so they put me in a janitor's closet. [laughter] like as a vip thing, but they had no pattern to it and the lights flickering. everyone here is moaning like they are dying in the icu. it's like a haunted house. and it's called icu like i see you which is creepy, haunted house! i want out of this place. i'm not going to get better here. they wanted you feel like you're hallucinating? >> jeremy: and going back to this hospital this week to apologize to every one of those
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nervous necklaces. i'm going back to apologize there with you when you to diane sawyer that your mom is reading to you while you were in bed. >> jeremy: yes, my mom, she has this nervous thing that she wanted to do something proactive and she thought that the sound of her voice reading would be soothing. [laughter] and she read to me. >> jimmy: why is everyone laughing? >> jeremy: it is nice. my mom is reading me a story like i was going to bed, going to bed for one last time. [laughter] collocated noche, like i'm done. she starts reading to me, and i'm over here like mom, that stephen king. it's a fairy tale. it's called "fairytale" but it's by stephen king. she is meeting with us but i'm sure, the last story that a problem ever here in life because i am on life support at this point. >> jimmy could. [laughs] i wouldn't imagine you had the burden of all your friends wanting to know how you are a
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texting you and trying to contact you. >> jeremy: yeah. that's not a burden. that's where i found out that i think i was really messed up. i thought i will got injured. everybody's acting like this is like you are in a casket and living through it. everybody is just walking by. you are like [mornin they always give me a reaction like i did notice a to say. dr. chris evans on a lot of fronts. the reaction is what made me feel like i think i'm going to hurt myself. i might not pull out of this. when you get that from other people. >> jeremy: terrible actor, so he couldn't hide the fact that i looked awful. [laughter] suckers. when you were kind enough to >> jeremhe- he happened to be in as well. promoting his movie and he came
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by couple times in the hospital, always making my day because he is one of the funniest guys around, right, pop paul rudd? then he sent me a video message. anybody knows cameo where you pay money to get some movie star to say happy birthday? he made a fake one. i even asked him to. he made a fake one like i paid him money for a cameo. >> jimmy: yeah, here it is pavitt >> hey, jerry, here that you are banged up. caught in a fight with a snow blower apparently? i just wanted to stay in this video. it's really from the heart and i hope you're feeling better. sounds like you are. apparently you are a pretty tough guy. [laughter] maybe i'll get to meet you one day and wouldn't that be something? in the meantime, take care and take it easy for a while. and next time maybe just that the snow melt pavitt [laughter] feel better, jerry.
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[laughter] >> jimmy: some advice david jeremy renner is here. we'll be right back! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> when the "rennervations" temporary purposes and one of its vehicles for the right cau cause, we start the day off right. that is why they are partnering with "rennervations," because every day, there is an opportunity to create change.
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so the next week or so i take this fire trucks that once put out airplane fires but now i'm going to have them sprayed with these targets to prevent forest fires in this community. there is a method to the madness. >> there's a lot of method. [laughs] i get why it looks crazy. i get why. that's how i know i'm on the right path. >> i thought you were out there playing bumper cars. >> jimmy: we are back with jeremy renner. that his new "rennervations." des premiers wednesdays on disney press. this is something we talked about in the past. you like to buy -- your hobby is, is that a good way to put it? is buying these large vehicles. >> jeremy: i don't know if it's a hobby. i just saw a lot of potential and something that was being
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wasted. that's why i got triggered. i don't like that. i love this fire truck, but i don't love it that much as to buy it, but i bought it when i fund is another purpose that it can be used for. i just go through essentially billionaires cover art sales, government, state agencies, military, and i take that stuff that is over the surplus or the things that are decommissioned and i find another use for them. given what was the first one that you made a new use for? speed of the first one that i got was a fire truck that was -- art of carson city and almost no miles on the thinker with the emergency vehicles are so well taken care of. i turned it into a noble kid's birthday party. rides, take out the hole is a deck were all the hoses go and all the seats on the sides instead of axis. the compartments have tvs and gaming and sleepy machines and cappuccino machines and then there is a jumper that comes out of the generator so it's a
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mobile party. for the kids. even if they get tired and they get a little more energy. [laughs] that's fantastic. now on the show, you've done this, it's somewhat of a charitable endeavor in which you found different places where people could use these very creative vehicles. >> jeremy: correct, so i get to work with wonderful agencies, because i will do anything for a kid, right? i believe it's a birthright to have opportunities in life. the future of our planet. i will go to the nth degree to give them opportunities. we want you got in front of us know proper one of them. >> jeremy: that's right, to promote the same thing. >> jimmy: speaking of doing things for kids, you were at magic mountain this weekend. >> jeremy: yeah, it's spring break, and my daughter turned on and she got, you know my niece and nephews and all of her cousins. i had to treat them to a nice
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time. the rollercoaster is to rollercoaster is. >> jimmy: two doctors recommend the six flags experience? after breaking every bone essentially in your body? >> i didn't tell them. for what i we have a video here from your trip to magic mount mountain. jeremy, you are making a mockery of this injury, you really are. it's like you are taunting god, threatening him. try it again! >> jeremy: i promise you i am in a ton of pain. they wanted to go on rides? >> jeremy: i did. i just left by the principal if it hurts, i will stop. if it doesn't hurt, or try it. stephen that sounds like a solid principle. >> jeremy: i did everything that didn't hurt and i had a great time. more importantly, my daughter and all the kids did. >> jimmy: i know this is a horrible things happen to you, but what's the best thing about it looking back at the whole
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day? >> jeremy: i don't know if it's the best thing but the first thing, when i got my first surgery is my ribs and staff, the first conscious thought was wholly hell. my calendar just freed up for the rest of the year. [laughter] yeah! i can start making plans. i was making so many plans. i was going to buy a boat. i was going to live in mexico. all these plans i was going to make because my hair was pretty jammed up until i got crushed, right? [laughter] >> jimmy: a solid excuse. >> jeremy: now i'm like no one can mess with me, i'm free. the first thing i thought of. that happened, and also it was a new year's resolution, so i did drop like 20 pounds, i quit smoking. [cheers and applause] i haven't smoked since then. it's easy! easiest way to quit smoking! i'm telling you! i couldn't imagine not doing
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that and quitting smoking. i would be a wreck of a human. because i almost killed myself, i didn't even think about smoking. easy peasy! to what it really is remarkable. i cannot believe that we are sitting here, four months later after this -- [cheers and applause] >> jeremy: i can't either. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here, and you have to watch this show called "rennervations." jeremy and some of his celebrity friends build these crazy, spectacular, extreme version of my ride down economic causes on disney press. jeremy renner, everybody! we will be back with metallica! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> when the "rennervations" m
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♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. our next guest is our beloved well into the far corners of planet earth. on friday, they will release this new album. it's called "72 seasons." they are very lucky they will be playing for us every night this week. please say hello to robert trujillo, kirk hammett, james hetfield, and lars ulrich. here they are, metallica, everybody! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪
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look at this. >> albrighton! >> jimmy: you guys are like the most adorable boy band of all time. [laughter] thank you for coming, for not just -- you guys said we got an album coming out, we said will you stay for a whole week and you guys said all right, we'll do it and we appreciate that. >> careful what you wish for. thank you for having us the whole week! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: i showed up for work this morning and there was a whole line of your fans in the al b. they were very funny. it was a very funny group. they were, obviously, very excited. i noticed half of them look like they were in high school or were supposed to be in high school. [laughter] because that's the boy band in us. >> jimmy: is that interesting for you guys to see these fans and they are like the same age they were when it started? >> i don't think they know how old we are.
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[laughter] lets keep this a secret between all of us. >> jimmy: part of it, and i think it's probably a small part of it, but part of it is because of the show "stranger things" and people saw one of the kids playing "master of puppets" on the show, and it exploded in ways that the first time the song came out, you didn't have a spotify or streaming or any of this stuff in this big influx of new interest in your music. >> about that song for "stranger things" in 1980 something. we knew it was going to happen. >> jimmy: robert's son played the guitar part. amazing! [cheers and applause] >> kirk taught him the part and speaker is a great teacher. >> jimmy: you got to be careful. you see what happened with van halen. the kids move in and there is trouble. because i was just talking to
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these guys about the kinds of understudies. >> jimmy: they can be a double-edged sword, the understudies. are your kids -- are all your kids involved in music in some way? >> isn't that something? >> jimmy: are you all happy about that? >> now, my son is a drummer. not happy with that at all. even do you feel that was some kind of rebellion? >> i think so. pick up my kid is on tour in europe right now and it's great. they are out there all living. so we are very proud of them. we want what you hope for would you like it if they were all in a band together or would that be too weird? >> maybe pushing it a little bit. maybe going back to kirk's understudy idea. one day, maybe we will hand it over to them, have the keys over to them. >> jimmy: what if there is a metallica jr.? >> i think there is many metallica juniors out there. the one we are band of first.
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speaking of kids, i love this idea. you guys have this competition going on for high school and college marching bands and you are giving them the rights to play your songs for free and you will then judge which ban, there is a lot of prize money involved. or any of you in marching band? >> that was so uncool. [laughter] so uncool. so uncool, but that is usually better protect picture of me with my clarinet. see what you were in a marching band? >> i was in marching band. that was a concert then. >> wow. >> at the as was >> narrator enough, i was a clarinet player. >> jimmy: any girlfriends? >> or my friends were boys. they want to get a kick out of
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that when you are watching a football game and bands play your songs? >> virginia tech have the jump and everything. they've been doing "said van "and it's kind of like that thing. the fact that we get to play and love what we do and someone takes that puts it in their own sons and then they get the whole audience pumped up for their team to play a bit it's double cool. >> i love this idea also be a it important to you to come up with something new each time, something that's going to be a little bit different each time? >> definitely helps us to avoid falling into autopilot. this time, we took everything we've done the last 40 years. about a year ago, idea, a couple years ago, the idea of playing to trent nights in every city, t shows, no repeat. the radio four is no repeat.
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get two completely different set list, that felt like a really good idea. as those emails were going around. three weeks, this kicks off in amsterdam. because somebody sitting here is a somewhat obsessed with separatists. [laughter] i would be also other. it's going to be okay. i get it. >> it's not okay. >> jimmy: in a way, you've given yourself kind of an out because by announcing an advance that there are going to be songs if you come to one show, you are not going to hear maybe a song you might want to hear other is a possibility of it, everybody knows they have to go to both shows and nobody could be met at the end. you don't want to get yelled at. >> someone is going to be met. always. i might be met. a song that we didn't play that i wanted to play. >> jimmy: your first full album of new music since 2016? >> about six or seven years.
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16. this was a bad baby, whoever this baby was. this is a baby that needs some counseling or some kind. >> jimmy: you guys are, on wednesday, you're going to play "master of puppets" in its entirety and that's a big deal. [cheers and applause] that's going to be unquestionably in our 20 years, that song is four and half hours long. [laughter] >> the edited version is four and a half hours long. the one we are going to pre-empt ""nightline"." thank you so much. [cheers and applause] what are we going to hear tonight? >> "lux eterna," the first song that came out in november. we drop it. we've never drop anything unannounced before so it was a great thing for us to be able to keep it on the dl for that long and it came out in november, the first single and "lux eterna" is the first thing you guys are going to hear. stephen is not just tonight, but all week long.
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♪ magnification, all generations ♪ ♪ approaching thunder awaiting the light ♪ ♪ full speed or nothin', full speed or nothin' ♪ ♪ lux eterna ♪ ♪ lux eterna, yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ exhilaration, frenzied sensation ♪ ♪ kindred alliance connected inside ♪ ♪ commiseration, sonic salvation ♪ ♪ cast out the demons that strangle your life ♪ ♪ full speed or nothin', full speed or nothin' ♪ ♪ lux eterna ♪ ♪ lux eterna, yeah ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ >> this is "nightline"." tonight the tennessee three. >> we stand united that we are multiracial. and i think that is what is so threatening to them. how gun reform protests and one community gained national attention. >> i did not get sent there to be quiet and not stand up for the people that sent me there. >> and sparked outrage after the expulsion of two black lawmakers. >> we were being persecuted because we exercised our first amendment right and our responsibility as legislators to listen to the voice of the people. >> what we saw was a political lynching. >> the voices of a new generation, why they say what happened to them as a threat to democracy. plus chris tucker from the cold classic "friday" to his hot new
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