tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC April 26, 2023 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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start streaming. thank you for watching. dan: for sandhya patel, larry beil and all of us, we appreciate your time. ama: have a great night. >> previously on "jimmy kimmel live." [laughter] >> from hollywood, it is "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, abby writer for sun and music from new west! with cleo and the klee tones! and now, jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: thank you for coming and watching at home and joining. it's a beautiful day here in southern california, i will tell you something, i'll never leave the planet earth. a lot of people want to go to space -- would you ever go to space? >> [bleep] no, jimmy, no. >> jimmy: a team of scientists from all over the world making a keys space tourism continues to grow, people will naturally start having sex in space and we have to start preparing for this. the findings are part of a research paper called consideration of uncontrolled human consumption in emerging space tourism. a hot, right? get a little sexed outbreak. it's got nine authors, this title. nine lonely authors worked on this together and all the people believe we could be buzzing our aldrin's together sometimes in
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the next decade. i checked today, there are seven people on the international space station right now. they've been on the space station for months. if space b5 has not happened already, it might happen tonight it is about to happen. sex and space like how you even tell who is on top? speaking of uncomfortable sex, today is melania trump's birthday. happy birthday, -- [cheers and applause] according to america's number one news source, her husband donald expected to take part in his wife's birthday festivities if his schedule allowed. he's very busy with the yelling and the golf. but he started the day with a couple of posts about his trial that's going around. like happy birthday. for those of you looking to celebrate our first ladies special day with your family, this opportunities only available for a limited time.
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>> celebrate the accomplishments of an american icon. the slovenian postal service brings you the melania trump commemorative stamp collection, reliving the greatest moments of the reluctant person a mike ladies and nations history including looking to the left, looking to the right, wearing an insane coat. shooting side i add a vodka. dressing like a gangster from the future. and holding her breath. this commemorative site is perfect for collecting our mailing confidential documents you find under the fresco machine at your husband's gold plated margaritaville abo abode. when someone asks if tiffany trump exists, pull out this coin and they will know. the melania trump commemorative stamp set, you never forget. >> thank you. >> jimmy: oh, you'll love the
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them. bring them to your husband in prison. in 18 months away from the next election and trump is saying he might skip the debates in the primary because he doesn't want to subject himself to magda hating anchors. i bet this is going to be like wrestlemania where he says he's not going to be there in the middle of the debate he runs out on the stage and hits ron desantis over the head with a folding chair. meanwhile we're getting more details on tucker carlson's banishment from fox news. fox news has been keeping a file of dirt on tucker and they are prepared to release it in the event he goes after the networks. apparently something they do over there, they collect compromising information about their employees in the case they need to use it. but what could they have on tucker carlson that embarrassment. he once tried to buy a fuel-efficient car? he has a collection of pennies that were not by
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possible they have pictures of him on a horse french kissing vladimir putin? that he dresses up as a drag queen and read stories to kids? to quote tucker, i'm not saying he did those things, i'm just asking questions. why wouldn't we ask questions about things like that? one super weapon fox news has to embarrass him is every episode of his show. [cheers and applause] that's for starters. many people believe that a-listers were prepared by a former producers on his show. he ran a hostile workplace with male producers making misogynistic comments, anti-semitic jokes, asking personal questions about the fellow hosts like maria. >> called into justin wells office with the senior producer as well and asked if maria was having an affair with kevin
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mccarthy. >> jimmy: what? he asked if maria was having an affair with a speaker of the house? tell us more. >> i'd been asked to spy on her by the fox pauses and that was part of the reason i went to tucker as well. physically and emotionally i couldn't take it. >> you spied on maria for your fox bosses? >> yes. it not spied, i tell them what she was doing and if there were things that concern me. >> jimmy: that spied, is in that? one thing to put out there, maria and kevin mccarthy, i had no idea if there's anything to it but i went back to their interviews and there does seem to be a hint of chemistry. >> california congressman house minority leader kevin mccarthy and it's great to see you. >> thanks for having me back. >> jimmy: did you see that? take a look back at the smile in slow motion here and you can s see. [laughter] hello there, sexy
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here's another one. check out this dramatic boss. >> turning to me now is house speaker kevin mccarthy. thank you for joining me this morning. >> thank you, maria. >> jimmy: yeah, thank you, maria. if you know what i mean. add the brags that she has about 90 audiotapes including a tape of ted cruz talking to maria burnham romo, and there was a detailed plan to overturn the election in 2020 by creating a funny commission that could investigate claims of fraud. he was hoping congress would refuse to certify on january 6th and lead the commission to pick the president of the united states. i'm sure ted wanted to be one of the commissioners who picked or at least one of the guys who picked to the commission, which is insane. ted cruz said the tape it's not a big deal, he said basically the same thing in public the next morning and then on the senate floor a few days later,
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which is one heck of an an excuse. next time you go to cancun, stay in cancun okay? we also learned that these tapes have been handed over to the special counsel jack smith. the only thing funnier than donald trump going to jail for trying to steal the election as ted cruz going to jail for trying to steal the election for donald trump yard i mean, that's a sitcom right there. of put them a cell together. meanwhile, george santos who seems to have been forgotten and made another goof and santos been trying to claim he's been jewish for quite some time now. if this does not convince you, then he nothing will. >> jimmy: oy vey! i mean, guillermo speaks better hebrew, how do you pronounce the word he's trying to say? >> guillermo: i'm not sure.
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>> jimmy: neither was he. life's a lot more embarrassing now that everything on tape. tonight's click for excellence reporting it goes to the team at detroit's fox to news. listen closely, you will hear why they are the winners of this prestigious award. ♪ ♪ >> organizations cost is $1, >> well, not since napster have we seen a controversial debate over music like we are seeing in computer-generated songs. >> yeah, we were talking about tunes that were crafted by artificial intelligence and featuring likenesses of the like of drake and rihanna. it's forcing music labels to question what is legal. ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: there is a leak in the newsroom! all right, it's time now to go onto the street to meet some folks on hollywood boulevard to play "couple or siblings."
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lou wilson was out there. of hi i'm a little. he spent the whole day rounding up pairs of people with the intention of tricking me, right? >> very much so. you won't no, you just want no. >> jimmy: somehow i always figure it out right? >> you're good, i worked extra hard today. >> jimmy: let's bring in the candidates and the contestants are? >> yeah, it's jamie. >> and nick. >> jamie and nick. >> jimmy: jimmy and nick are keeping their distance physically. all right. all right. jamie and nick, where are you from? >> we are from oakland in new zealand. >> new zealand? >> jimmy: do you have nicknames for each other? >> might not be appropriate. >> jimmy: you don't have nick dems for each other? when you're together, who controls the remotes on the tv? >> oh, definitely me. >> jimmy: you're a couple i'm going to say.
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>> no, we are not! we are siblings! >> jimmy: your siblings? >> they are siblings. >> jimmy: you're watching game shows in the hotel together? >> we are on holiday. >> jimmy: siblings on holiday? we've got a gift for you and what we have? >> we've got a [bleep]! >> jimmy: good luck getting that home. >> thanks, jimmy! >> jimmy: and joy! that thing will be stolen before you get to the end of the block. all right, who is out there come a little? would you have for a couple of siblings? >> some of my favorites. >> jimmy: look at these two. holy moly! wow, if you are siblings, your parents must be devastating. >> oh, they are. >> jimmy: where you from? >> i'm from california. >> jimmy: you? >> los angeles, california. >> jimmy: hold the microphone a little closer, the mustache is muffling your there.
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all right. would you do for work, corey? >> and manage hotels. >> jimmy: and you? >> i'm a server at a steak house. >> jimmy: okay. how long have you been doing that? >> i've been a server for over 15 years at about six months now. appeared >> jimmy: what happens when somebody doesn't feel their steak is cooked enough or overcooked? >> they are going to take it out on me and then i have to go fix it. of >> jimmy: the kitchen says what? >> most of the time they are pretty upset and they think it's my fault. hi, how are you doing? >> jimmy: okay, cory, let's see. let me see you guys high five. okay. interesting. >> i'm going to say you are siblings. >> that would be incorrect, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, man, i'm not doing well here! >> if you can believe it.
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[laughter and applause] >> jimmy: wait aoe mustached tiu kiss? >> yeah, it does, actually. it does. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: all right, lou, present them with your gifts. >> i've got some matching pjs for you. of >> jimmy: all right, thank you, fella's. let's do one more for you. one more come a couple or siblings and we have who out there? okay, we've got wade and amy. how are you? >> excellent. >> fantastic. >> jimmy: where you from? >> from? >> indianapolis, indiana. >> jimmy: both of you? >> yes. >> jimmy: do you live together? >> sometimes. >> jimmy: all right, okay, all right. let's see. what's your favorite thing your mom cooks? >> my mom or both? you got me.
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[laughter] >> jimmy: i'm going to say you're a couple. >> yes. >> jimmy: that is correct, all right, sorry. you diot hold up well under interrogation. but we still have a price for you. what do we have for this lovely couple? >> we have a hand-holding mitten. so you can put a hand in each side and continue to hold hands even when it's cold. >> jimmy: that's probably the worst gift we've ever given out on the show. congratulations. thank you, thank you, lou, that is "couple or siblings." we've got music from new west! and we will hear back from pierce brosnan! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪
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[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there come up from the new movie "are you there god? it's me, margaret.," abby ryder fortson is with us and later from toronto, their song is called those eyes and music from new west. we had a good cheer. chris pratt will be here and music from lucas and mike on nelson. please join us for that. our first guest tonight is a talented actor, producer, formet exhibition starts may 13th here in los angeles and say hello to pierce brosnan! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪
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>> we don't have many artists on the show, it's nice to have you here. >> pierce: it's good to see you appear >> jimmy: is it fun to be an artist? i do mention something. he wanted to be an artist when you were young. >> pierce: i did. i haven't given up the day job but i did, i left school at 16 with nothing more than a cardboard folder of drawings and paintings. i got a job as a commercial artist. >> jimmy: what kind of commercial are did you do? >> pierce: it was reproduction but i was a trainee. i was just a lad of 18 years of age. like cups of tea. i made cups of tea. i was 18 at this time now. 17. i basically just drew straight lines, made cups of tea, and watered the spider plants.
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there is a studio in south london. yeah, i had aspirations to do album covers and actually i've got something here for you. guillermo, here you go, this is for you. >> guillermo: this is for me? >> pierce: this is for you. a >> guillermo: really? >> jimmy: can you hold that up? is that heavy? >> guillermo: it's the earplugs! i'm kind of obsessed -- what about me made you think of me wanting earplugs? >> pierce: that's a good question but anyway. i painted the original painting about 48 by 48 and i screens out of this. if >> guillermo: i can't have the original? [laughter] >> pierce: no. >> jimmy: that super cool, thank you. just stand there the whole wreck restof the segment. thank you, you can go back to your spot of year that there is
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a very kind of you. i've been at mindi -- admirinut thi ie art called -- >> pierce: this is called fishhook. it's a big canvas. this comes from drawings, my wife, she's here this evening. she bought these little pads we keep by the phone, five or six for how many years i've been drawing. i make phone calls, i'm constantly drawing on the pad. that drawing came out of the pandemic. i call it "fishhook," but really is a conversation i was having with dear friends wife. he just passed away from covid. so somehow that came out onto the paper as i was talking to
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phoebe about my dear friend jay. we were in the theater in the west end together and godfathers of their sons. i had no idea of how it came about. >> jimmy: you didn't go fishing with him or anything like that? yeah, we don't use hooks like that. >> pierce: it's hawaiian fish hook. >> jimmy: there like bone fishhooks, i see you. you have another one here, what is this called? >> pierce: this is called busy more, french at the bottom and japanese means kiss me. i was doing a bond movie all those years ago, st. valentine's day, and part of the daffodils and i decided to paint them. >> jimmy: is that painted there? >> pierce: it could be. >> jimmy: is this from memory? or did someone pose for this? >> pierce: i thought it would
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look very attractive, i'm a big fan. >> jimmy: i thought if it was her, i got this back, i'd be suspicious to be honest with you. have you ever been painted? do people paint you? >> pierce: i've seen a few of have painted me. >> jimmy: i mean sitting for a painting, preferably in the. >> pierce: no, no, and i don't wish to either. it not at this stage of the game. >> jimmy: even if i blocked out the whole weekend? [laughter] >> pierce: no, no that's okay. let's not and say we did. >> jimmy: what year did you come to l.a. for the first time? >> pierce: i came out here in 1982 on the wing and a prayer. with my late wife, god bless her, cassie. looking for work and i got remington steele. >> jimmy: how long between landing. i think i told you one time when i was a kid, we came out to l.a.
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and we happened upon you shooting remington steele and like wow, we are in hollywood. down with marina del rey. you remember me standing there? >> pierce: now that you do that. yeah, i landed here in hollywood. actually lived in hollywood. my show, this art show. >> jimmy: your first solo art show in your life right? >> pierce: yes. thanks to my wife, she curated the work and it's just story and so many pieces away. let's have an art show and why not? if not now, when? >> jimmy: your 70th birthday is the same week as the art show. it is that intentional? is there reason why you decided to do this? >> pierce: yes, i'm going to turn somebody, may 16th. get in under the wire and ramped
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up the 60s and cruise on into the 70s. >> jimmy: we have something -- [cheers and applause] there is a solo art show that you're doing. we did earlier today, we picked some people out of the line waiting to come into the show. our studio audio members, we give them a photo of you, and first draw and then paint you. when we come back, we'll have our own pierce brosnan art show. hopefully, you will love one of the paintings and pick -- they are all winners, but we will have one winner tonight. will you be willing to do that? if not, we wasted a great deal of people's time. >> pierce: i lost interest, i'm still here. >> jimmy: we're going to go to commercial and if you're still here when we come back. pierce brosnan with us when we come back! usable musical [cheers and applause]
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get started for just $49 a month. and ask about an $800 prepaid card. comcast business. powering possibilities™. >> jimmy: we are back with pierce brosnan! piers has his first solo art show right here in los angeles opening on may 13th. it's called so many dreams. this is a photograph from before you even came out here to los angeles. >> pierce: i left drama school and i was trying to get commercial work. they said do silly things.
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that's one of the silly things. then grew into the sky. >> jimmy: we asked a group of studio audience members who are not professional artists or painters. >> pierce: nor am i. >> jimmy: you are now. may 13th. but to paint you and let's start with number one, why don't we show them and where you from? >> i'm from ohio. >> jimmy: with you for work? >> i'm a caterer incarnate or. >> jimmy: have you painted anybody before? >> never a period of >> jimmy: how long did you work on this? >> about an hour and 15 minutes. >> they say that to the exact amount of time. >> jimmy: young sheldon reveal us. >> pierce: oh, my god! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: take us through the painting. tell us what you've done here.
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>> what i done, i wanted to focus on the strong jaw line and the silver fox element of it. and just winning smile. >> jimmy: what do you think? >> pierce: i think it's good. i'm not quite sure. a little shocking really. but thank you for all the hard work. >> jimmy: how long did you work on your painting? >> just a little longer than him. >> jimmy: what do you work though my for work? >> are you a singer-songwriter. >> jimmy: are you a painter? >> when i was a kid, i was. not anymore. >> jimmy: don't get so down on yourself. let's see what she has for us here. all right! [cheers and applause] that's good! >> pierce: that's good! >> jimmy: little more gavin newsom then pierce bros brosnan. >> pierce: i like that one a lot. >> jimmy: is this something you would consider hanging in your home? >> pierce: possibly, i think we have to look at the rest
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before we make the decision. >> jimmy: let's go to christian and where are you fr from? >> i'm from san antonio, texas. >> jimmy: what do for work? >> i'm a salesman. >> jimmy: would you sell? >> roofs. >> jimmy: when you drive around neighborhoods and look for somebody that doesn't have one? with family. >> recently i drove to florida for the hurricane. i'm in florida right now because of the hurricane. >> jimmy: when actually you're california right now. that's one heck of a hurricane because you woke up in l.a. >> for sure. >> jimmy: one euro salesman and you sail roofs, so less on your painting. show us what you've got. >> pierce: i love it! >> jimmy: all right. >> pierce: that's a good one. that's a doozy. >> jimmy: you're not a professional painter?
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[laughter] what happened with the upper lip? it looks like you may be try to fix a mistake or something? >> i messed up, i did bad. >> jimmy: that's christian and steve is our fourth contestant tonight. where are you from? >> i'm also from san antonio. >> jimmy: would you do for a living? >> work in real estate. >> jimmy: do you have a roof on your home? you guys could really pare out. and steve, let's see what steve has to offer here. contestant number four. >> pierce: okay! [cheers and applause] that's an imagination styled here >> jimmy: steve, have you been using hallucinogenic drugs? >> pierce: mushrooms here and there. >> jimmy: i mean, you really went for it, didn't you? and finally our fifth -- where is our fifth contest at? we seem to have run out of contestants. oh, my goodness.
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wow, what's your name? >> salvador. [laughter] >> jimmy: two guys with curly mustaches. would you do for a living, salvador? >> i'm a big guy. >> jimmy: you take care of the big guy? like a jolly green giant? >> something like that. let's see your painting, salvador. >> jimmy: and salvador! [cheers and applause] [applause] >> pierce: there's a lot of mushrooms going on there. if i look like i'm on the bed and all of it actually. >> jimmy: i think you could actually sue salvador for this painting. here's a blue ribbon, give to whomever you feel. is the winner here. the audience is shutting out which one they like the best.
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[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: our next guest started acting when she was 4, she played an 11 euros when she was 13. i think that makes her 105 years old, i don't know. if her new movie is called "are you there god? it's me, margaret." it opens in theaters friday and please welcome abby ryder fortson! [cheers and applause] you came out here fast too, you
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almost surprised me. are you a fast walker? >> abby: yes, i am, my whole family has to speed with me to catch up with me. it when i take a walk, it's me in the front with a dog, my dent in the middle, my little brother who is ten will be trailing behind us just hanging out and watching as i speed away with the dog and i don't even notice that everybody else is trailing behind me. of >> jimmy: you must have a greyhound or something. >> abby: i have a lab husky newfoundland retriever mix. he's a rescue of the artist when you're able to analyze him -- >> abby: we got one of the dna tests. they were super cool. >> jimmy: they are cool, you can do them on humans too. i found out i was half italian, half pomeranian. >> abby: that's pretty cool. >> jimmy: i know you're 15 years old, right?
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did you know about this book and i meet like this book when i was a kid, it was a very big deal. you didn't know about it. >> abby: so i'm a reader, i was reading since i was about old enough to walk and for some reason i guess we just missed each other. i was super into sci-fi and fantasy when i was younger so i never read "are you there god? it's me, margaret" until i got the addition to play margaret in the movie. >> jimmy: did you tell judy blume this and have you met judy blume? >> abby: i met judy blume and she was on set for a good couple weeks. >> jimmy: how old is she now? >> abby: i want to say 84? i don't know. i don't try to make a habit of looking up people's ages. >> jimmy: when you walk with her, is she fast enough? >> abby: no, i think i have to slow it down a little bit for her. >> jimmy: she was there, did she like -- did she have tips? did she weigh in on what you guys were doing?
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>> abby: the biggest thing i think her note was when we were on site is that when we were rehearsing one of the scenes where all of the girls start doing little priest or a bust exercise. remember that? >> jimmy: i remember that from laverne and shirley or something like that. >> abby: so the biggest thing -- yeah. little song and dance. her biggest note was that while we are rehearsing, kelly, the way she envisioned it is you clasp your hands and do i must, i must, i must. that's how she envisioned it but according to judy, the way that she and her friends used to do it was always more like i must, i must, i must increase my bus. >> jimmy: it was done in a more lighthearted way and it really works the arm muscles though. >> abby: after doing it for
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hundreds of months, i got some biceps. it was really good. >> jimmy: did you really do hundreds of takes a back? >> abby: yeah, if you combined every single scene we had to do that in and like all the camera angles? someone should count that up honestly. >> jimmy: dear mo, would you mind counting that up you said you like sci-fi and stuff. you said you read a lot and how many books would you read and like a year or something? >> abby: 365? >> jimmy: you read a book every day? >> abby: i try to honestly. >> jimmy: every day you read a whole book? >> abby: i read really fast. >> jimmy: you walk fast and you read fast fear >> abby: i'm a really high speed person. >> jimmy: have you ever thought about slowing down? >> abby: i'm trying to say that when i get older, there's a
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time when i'm older, i'll have my cats come on my plants i, i'll refer to them as my children and i kept about 50 in life. all the good stuff. it's me when you have plans now or when you're envisioning for yourself? you do? >> abby: i steal them from other people in the house and i keep them alive because they always kill them. >> jimmy: it's like a jungle in your bedroom here to speak to 100%. >> jimmy: when you've been acting since you are a little kid and did you love it immediately? >> abby: honestly, yeah. my parents are both actors. they are right over there. they are both actors. [applause] >> jimmy: do you know they're going to be here? >> abby: yes, we discussed it beforehand. yeah, they are both actors and they used to take me to the auditions with them and i would sit on the producer's couch and i would just watch them. one day when i was like three and a half or something, i turned to them and i was like i want to do this now.
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it give me on addition, i want to be an actor. >> jimmy: i was looking at your appearance and they were probably too young when this book came out even. when you're on the side, the movie set in the '70s, does everything seem weird to you like the '70s props and decorations and all that stuff? >> abby: actually, no, i'm a huge vintage person and i've got vinyls, records, everything like that. it's really cool to be on the '70 said because it's stepping into a time machine every day you are on site. >> jimmy: what objects in particular jumped out to you? >> abby: i have to save my favorite is a rotary phone. here's the thing, nowadays, you've got your cell phones and when you're really mad at someone, you really want to hang up on them. pressing the end call button doesn't make the saying clank, clank you know? it's not the same. i practiced a couple times on this that we had on the phone that we had onset. it was really fun.
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i would love to say that i miss it, but i would be lying. >> jimmy: you missed it is what happened. also it was no fun. something a lot of eights in your number, it's exhausting. but you're right, the slamming down. i quit! now it's like i quit. have you seen the movie in the theater with an audience yet? >> abby: i've seen the film four times and at the premiere, that's the first time i side with a really big audience. and it was really cool. a sitting in the theater and having everyone laugh at the exact same moment and crying. we are all experiencing something together, that's the magic about movies. yes, my mother started sobbing n pass the opening titles yet and she was just sitting there bawling, crying. like my daughter's movie! she'd already seen it three
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times at that point. >> jimmy: you know, i guess you couldn't understand that because you're 15 years old and you think your plans are your children. but one day, maybe you'll be in a movie theater and you will look up and you will see your friend up on -- >> abby: that be great. >> jimmy: you'll see a rhododendron perhaps and be like oh, it's my sweet little sapl sapling. [laughter] congratulations and i have a feeling it's going to be a big deal. my cousin mickey, this is a big book from her life. she saw the movie and she said you guys really did judy blume justice. like she never let anybody -- i think that you might want play this role that you are playing, that's how long they've been waiting to make this movie. so anyway, congratulations. the movies called "are you there god? it's me, margaret" and it opens in theaters friday. abby ryder fortson, everybody! thank you, abby! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪
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new west! [cheers and applause] ♪ when we're out in a crowd laughing loud ♪ ♪ and nobody knows why ♪ ♪ when we're lost at a club, getting drunk ♪ ♪ and you give me that smile ♪ ♪ going home in the back of a car ♪ ♪ and your hand touches mine ♪ ♪ when we're done making love ♪ ♪ and you look up and give me those eyes ♪ ♪ 'cause all of the small things that you do ♪ ♪ are what remind me why i fell for you ♪ ♪ and when we're apart, and i'm missing you ♪
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♪ i close my eyes and all i see is you ♪ ♪ and the small things you do ♪ ♪ when you call me at night while you're out ♪ ♪ getting high with your friends ♪ every "hi", every "bye", every "i love you" you've ever said ♪ ♪ 'cause all of the small things that you do ♪ ♪ are what remind me why i fell for you ♪ ♪ and when we're apart, and i'm missing you ♪ ♪ i close my eyes and all i see
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>> this is "nightline." tonight, two families at the intersection of autism, race, policing. how misunderstandings could have tragic consequences. one mother fights to clear her son's name after he caused a life-threatening crash beer >> you can't fault some lever having a medical episode. >> left wondering how he died at the hands of police. >> did you ever envision that you would lose your son this w way? >> plus, taking action. one officer's personal crusade and how she's building a bridge from her department to the
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