on jimmy kimmel, chris pratt. ama: have a great night. >> previously on "jimmy kimmel live." >> oh, my god! are you all right? bro, are you good? >> yeah, i'm good. if the ago are you all right? >> from hollywood, it is "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, chris pratt, plus music from lukas and micah nelson! and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

>> jimmy: thank you! welcome to the show, thanks for watching! hour after draft party! you know the first round if you follow football the first round of the nfl draft age here on abc and a special welcome to those who watch. if you keep you interested in our show, every 20 minutes i'm going to announce a name at the college and then i will hand someone i had. it will be fun. at the draft and it's fun to see the young men will be cursing at every sunday. the first nfl draft was held in philadelphia in 1936, a scrappy young halfback named joey biden went in the fifth round of the scranton malarkey's and now he's in the white house. well everywhere i guess, it was take your kid to workday. the president was on hand for a celebration escorted by a tiny

secret service detail. these are children of white house employees and members of the press. they were there appear to trump was a big proponent of taking kids to work day, so much so he put jared in charge of that piece in the middle east. but grandpa joe has a different approach and spent time with the kids, he's very nice. he let them do a little q&a. >> where do i stay? >> wherever you want to stay. >> what's your name? >> yuri? >> is not a question? >> you want to tell me what it is. >> wears hunter, where's the [bleep] is hunter? >> can't answer that one. >> looks like that child is watching newsmax or something. the bidens state host a dinner not only the guest of honor but the musical entertainment too. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ >> jimmy: there is only 8 minutes left to go. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: how about that? i drove my kid to the love you, he doesn't have the same ring but i like that. i think every world leader should be required to sing. sadly, we'll never get to find out what tucker carlson had to say about that. there's a lot of new details of what may have led to fox news suddenly parting ways with talk according to "the new york times," the day before the dominion defamation .

the fox board of directors learned about more covert tucker carlson texts that were peppered with highly offensive and crude remarks directed at executives. these texts were said to be so offensive fox didn't know whether to fire tucker carlson or give him another hour on "prime time." it's easy to forget how much tucker carlson accomplished over his career, he's been fired by sock dimock fox, cnn, msnbc, mp pbs. that's that you got . he got fired by cbs, he called the big bird a gay chicken and he got let go. he had a video message addressing his fans. >> good evening, it's tucker carlson. one thing you recognize when you step out side the noise, is that there are so many decent and kind people who care and a bunch of hilarious people.

>> jimmy: oh, thank you. glad you've been enjoying the stuff we did about you, but go on. >> the thing you notice when you take some time off is how unbelievably stupid most of the debates you see on television are. they are completely irrelevant. they mean nothing. >> jimmy: i agree, wait until you hear about this guy named tucker carlson. you're going to hate him. >> the undeniably big topics, the ones that will define her future, get virtually no discussion at all. war, civil liberties, emerging signs, demographic change, corporate power, natural resources. >> jimmy: right, right, the big topics, the important subjects like these. >> turns out leprechauns exist not just on cereal boxes, a lot of people believe they have seen leprechauns and it faces a more profound threat bearded zombie raccoons. how much emotional support does the state provide? the doj can tell you

many rounds were burned last year. >> for your mouth, we call them less politically man >> jimmy: should be the name of his neck show. >> where you can find americans? not many places left, and that's enough. as long as you can hear the words, there is hope. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness, even his hair was alive. the big surprise in washington today was former vice president mike pence testified in front of the special counsel grand jury about his case and generate six. the conversations were protected by executive privilege, pens argue they are protected by white privilege, but the court said no to both of those things and so pentz was forced to talk and i'm sure that was humiliating. how can you tell a jury about

how many times your threaten with a bottle of ketchup by your box? that's definitely the longest anybody has listened to mike pence and that's the insurrection hearing. trump is on trial for rape right now and had to sit down for an interview with don jr. right now. >> i can't believe ■i'm being interviewed by my son. barbara walters, i met everybody, now it's my son. congratulations. your show or podcast, whatever you know a day called these doing well. >> doing well. >> what if he grows up to be a loser? well, mission accomplished i guess. just before his appearance on the ding-dong show, trump made a campaign stop in manchester, new hampshire, where we slowed it down to have speed for another edition of drunk donald trump.

♪ ♪ >> should i do it? i'm good i do it ! i'm going to do it! ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: don't worry you, they say he's going to be okay. not all of this is bad, here's some good news. the number of americans who smoke cigarettes is at an all-time low. one in nine adults are smokers now and the only people who are smoking is nothing yellowstone and my own. it's their smoking so much pot it's hard to make time for cigarettes. you do not have the space in your mouth. right comes before? where is guillermo? >> from hollywood!

it's your favorite show,t the best show! it is "the guillermo show" and now here is your host, guille guillermo! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ bola, hola, hola! welcome to my show, "the guillermo show." are you ready to lol? do you hear it joe biden announced he's running running for president again? what an old guy. did you hear about melania. >> no. >> guillermo: me either, no one heard about her in weeks. did you hear americans are smoking less. the only people still smoking in america are beth on yellowstone and on-chip you.

>> jimmy: hold on a second, guillermo, i did that joke a minute ago, are you stealing my jokes? >> guillermo: yeah, but i told it better. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] before we get started, i want to say thank you to my sponsor, "the guillermo show" is brought to you by zippers. zip it up! please say hello to my band! hello, band! [cheers and applause] do you know what time it is? >> what time is it! >> it's time for my first guest. he's fast, he's furious, and please welcome mr. vin diesel! [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ >> guillermo: mr. vin diesel, you've been in so many movies. >> jimmy: hang on a minute, you booked vin diesel on your show? >> guillermo: are you vin diesel? >> yeah, i think so. it >> guillermo: then yeah, i booked vin diesel. >> jimmy: this is my show, i would have liked vin diesel here. >> guillermo: i like a lot of things too. thank you for being here, mr. vin diesel. >> oh it's my pleasure. >> guillermo: what's it like to be strong? >> you know who i would ask? my daughter. of pauline? [cheers and applause] >> guillermo: yeah! >> jimmy: you got vin diesel and his daughter? >> it's like being

>> guillermo: mr. vin diesel, it is time to play "win, lose, or draw!" [cheers and applause] >> brought to you by bottom. a zipper alternative. ♪ ♪ are you ready to play a? >> yes! >> guillermo: i'm going to draw a picture here. if you guess what it is, i win whatever is in vin diesel's pocket, okay! ready? >> yes, i'm ready. a >> guillermo: okay, let's play! >> "win, lose, or draw"!

>> a house! >> guillermo: i win! >> we won, we want not, we can finally buy that house we always wanted! okay, what do you win? >> guillermo: listen, okay. all right. and listen. jimmy: guillermo, you're supposed to see what's in his pocket. >> okay, i have tickets to tonight's "guardians of the galaxy"'s premier! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: hold on, hold on, guillermo's audience get a "guardians of the galaxy" premier? >> tonight! >> jimmy: what about my audience? >> guillermo: you've been in soany movi rht?ie mightow

>> guiller can you tell us about your new movie? >> i can! >> so guardians of the -- >> jimmy: what? what? >> guillermo: vin diesel, he's a "guardians of the galaxy vo. 3"! >> "the guillermo show" was sponsored by velcro. if you can't work a zipper, try velcro! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: we have a big show for you tonight and music from lukas and micah nelson. we'll be right back with chris pratt! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, and sibling do well at the hollywood bowl this weekend celebrating their father's 70th birthday, willie nelson. and they've t shows. lukas and micah nelson. we've got new shows with melissa mccarthy, dr. phil, it's his last week. charlie day, gina rodrigues, anthony carrigan, ricky gervais' with music from bebe rexha, pixies, and the smashing pumpkins. that's quite a week we have in store. oh, wow! look who we've got! how are you! good to see you! [cheers and applause]

what are you doing here? >> i was literally stopping by and doing the first show, we did "the guillermo show" and as we're leaving, she said daddy, can you introduce me to jimmy kimmel? >> jimmy: you didn't really say that did you. >> say hello to jimmy appeared >> hi. >> jimmy: do you know how much your dad gets to play entry? >> a lot. >> three times. >> jimmy: yeah come out. >> we are going to the premiere of "guardians" by the way. so i had extra tickets. >> jimmy: thank you. >> i'm sure people -- [cheers and applause] anybody want some tickets? it's up to you guys. >> jimmy: i've a feeling you have them for the whole audience, right?

good to see you. >> nice to see you. >> jimmy: vin diesel and pauline, everybody! our first guest tonight has spent most of the past decade defending us from enemies, foreign, domestic, intergalactic, and drastic. the mixed tape comes to the end with marvel studios "guardians of the galaxy vo. 3". >> why did what i trust her, that's a good question. the question is we used to be and love. and yeah, she was my girlfriend only that she doesn't remember it because it wasn't heard because her dad threw her off a magic cliff and she died. and she came back out of the past and there she is. everyone else in the past who died came back. not her. i don't know, i don't know why.

some dumb earth dude who met a girl, fell in love, that girl died, and i came back a total dick >> jimmy: "guardians of the galaxy vo. 3" in theaters may 5th. please welcome chris pratt! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> chris: i got it right that time! >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> chris: i'm doing well, how are you a? >> jimmy: you had the big premiere here tonight, the first movie you came here and you brought the trailer we saw for the first time. nine years ago. did that go by fast or slow? >> chris: long days, short years. to be when did you think like i don't want to play star lord and

was there ever any concerns? >> chris: no. god no. i mean i'd been dying -- i've been dying to do something like that my whole career. no, i've been very grateful the whole time. >> jimmy: when you wanted to play a superhero. mostly i set the bar low enough i don't want to go back to serving food to people. and then superhero ways way above that bar so i was going to take it. >> jimmy: did you need audition for captain america? >> chris: i auditioned for them all. i had a rough run. of >> jimmy: which ones? >> chris: thor, but not to be for it, but like one of the sidekick guys. >> jimmy: really? they don't even call and say like it didn't work out or thinking better things for you? >> chris: they give you a little feedback and i remember the casting director goes you made a big choice there. which is code for being like hey, dial back the acting their

guid. i addition for all of them. like i got to the point where i was never going to audition for marvel again like this is stupid and i'm never going to be in a marvel movie. >> jimmy: which other ones? >> chris: i mean all of them. anything that came out they needed a guy that even remotely looked like me i auditioned for in some way or another. i'd either submit a tape, then they would say no, we don't need to see him or i would get there and see them and go, that's the last time we need to sea. it's not just marvel things, but its heroic characters and various -- >> jimmy: d.c. characters? >> chris: not d.c. but "star trek" or avatar. anything that was like this guy walks in, he's got the it factor. over and over again i was like well, i definitely do not have that it factor they are looking for because they don't even want me to come back. >> jimmy: turns out you do have the it factor of year to

speak to all, well ! >> jimmy: where are the failed marvel additions where those the toughest of your career? >> chris: oh, my god, no. my career as an actor may be, but i had an addition once when i was 18 years old in edmon washington at a strip club named mr. patty wax it so being invited into a dressing room in a waiting room with water and stuff like that's pretty nice. >> jimmy: what kind of audition did you have? >> chris: it was a strip club so it was me -- >> jimmy: a male strip club. yes, mr. patty wax. >> chris: yeah, i was like i'm going to go do that. >> jimmy: you for somebody? >> chris: yeah, a dude, one dude. >> jimmy: like a guy named lenny patty wax. >> chris: might have been mr. patty whack himself, i'm sure that's not his last name.

>> jimmy: i think i could have had the job but i remember walking and it was like the middle of the day and i put on the song pony. way too slow. for me and this guy, -- [laughter] riding my pony. and then i walked out and the guy was like yeah, you should come back and work here. and i'm like okay, cool. i walk out and there is a car like a mid '80s toyota with a guy sleeping in the front seat. he wakes up and he is like that she goes in and i'm like that's one of the dancers. he's got a pretty sick car. maybe i ought to come back. make a little money and get myself a toyota. i ended up not going back. >> jimmy: that's crazy, i never would have guessed that. is this the last movie or the

end of the trilogy? >> chris: certainly the end of the trilogy and the last time these "guardians of the galaxy" will ever be on the screen together. >> jimmy: that's it for sure? >> chris: we are all playing characters that have been marvel canon for years and i'm sure the characters will not go anywhere, but this particular group of outcasts, th they to an end. >> jimmy: did you take anything notable like chris dolma chris hemsworth have hammers in every single room in his house. it did you take anything? >> chris: yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: what did you take? >> chris: and got to the point where i'm like just back of the truck. hope >> jimmy: it's like the yard sale here >> chris: yeah, give me the boots, the jackets, give me two helmets and grab rice krispie treats from the craft service. we are cleaning this

leap >> jimmy: you had the whole thing. i want to mention something because profanity. >> chris: on your show -- no, so sorry. >> jimmy: no, it's fine. >> chris: let me ask you something, do you get fined for that? >> jimmy: they take one rice krispie treat off the service table. you ought are the first f word in marvel movie history in this one. congratulations. >> chris: thank you. >> jimmy: how did sam jackson not get that one? [laughter] >> chris: year right. >> jimmy: he must be furious right now. >> chris: his neck furious he is neck furious. i think everybody tried, you get two sh words and then you can get one for it. everyone's trying to lobby like throwing out improv to get it in there. >> jimmy: is that right? >> chris: for years, not the

first when i try to get into the movie. they added it together and it's a funny beat and they kept it. >> jimmy: were you super excited when that happened? >> chris: yes. >> jimmy: did they huddle and go we are kind of getting into different territory here? >> chris: apparently for my understanding the story goes that kevin fike he talked to james gunn and said listen, you do not want to be the guy who's known for having the first f word in your movie. and james is like yes, i do! don't you know me? that's exactly what i want. >> jimmy: maybe james is working as a double agent and we know he's over at d.c. now. >> chris: sandoval -- sound of the... >> jimmy: we have a protohologram projection box set up outside the "guardians of the galaxy" mission breakout at disney's california adventure. it's an attraction and people go on it and will be come back we

will be increased directly into that box. the people are not going to know that it's really you, and they think -- it's an ai box. exactly. chris pratt is here with us! "guardians of the galaxy"! opens may 5th! we will be right back! >> portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by heineken silver. all the taste.

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[cheers and applause] >> jimmy: hello, we are back with chris pratt and we are about on to embark on to the future. we are going to project an image of chris pratt in our studio all the way down to disney california adventure some 35 miles away and those people are coming off the "guardians of the galaxy" mission breakout attraction and they're going to be shocked by what they will believe is an artificial image of star lauren here. but instead it'll be the actual chris in 3d form. this cost us in the neighborhood of $400 million. chris is in front of the screen and this is amazing the way this works. let's blow circuits. and let's go to business california adventure people coming out and here we go. >> you are exiting "guardians of

the galaxy" wish and break out here and california adventure where we have the world's most exciting attractions. such as "guardians of the galaxy" mission breakout. do you have any questions for me? >> what's your favorite ride? >> do you have any questions for me? >> yes, what's your favorite ride? >> "guardians of the galaxy" mission breakout. >> that's also my favorite ride. >> [laughs] have you been to california adventure park before? >> it's my first time. >> it's your first time? >> you know my name? >> that's amazing. that's so cool. >> and powered by a quantum computing ai technology, i know everything about you, jen. >> do you a? >> what do you know about me? >> i know you just left

"guardians of the galaxy" mission breakout. >> that was a given. i know that you two are best friends. >> okay. getting a little psychic, okay. >> i'm not psychic, i'm drawing from a wealth of information driven by a quantum computer. have you ever seen "terminator 2." skynet is real! >> [laughs] so great. >> lef. laugh now. thank you, i hope you don't have nightmares about your future reality. enjoy "guardians of the galaxy" volume three in theaters now! [laughs] >> it's on the calendar appeared >> no but for real i know everything about you. >> i'm going to leave now.

speak a little weird >> i'll be watching. >> we'll be watched. >> okay. >> your stock. i think you are stuck. >> every move you make. every breath you take. every single day, i'll be watching you. >> i don't think it goes that way. >> what is 1994? >> they made the lion king jersey i made. >> do you like the lion king? >> i love, wait, hold on look at my backpack and then the ears and then the shirt. and then this. >> it's no "guardians of the galaxy," am i correct? >> that's actually true. the soundtrack does not compare

at all. >> actually, gamora is my favorite. beer >> thank you for playing, next ! >> that's so disrespectful. >> she is great. >> free rail, go, next ! >> okay. do you want to meet my friend jimmy kimmel? >> absolutely. of course. we have him as well. >> wow! hello, how are you doing? >> jimmy: i'm doing well, how are you ? have you met chris pratt? >> do we look alike? >> you look somewhat alike and you have the same ears. >> okay. >> that's usually not what people compare but we'll take it. >> jimmy: is this the weirdest thing that has happened to you today.

>> yeah, i think so. >> jimmy: thank you. and have a nice day. >> thank you, we also hope you have a nice day. >> chris: goodbye. >> jimmy: we are looking at your butts >> chris: why hello there. i'm advanced artificial intelligence made to look like chris pratt. how are you, johnson family? did you enjoy "guardians of the galaxy" mission breakout? >> it was really fun. >> chris: did anyone crap their pants. [laughter] >> no. >> chris: are you ready to seei!

>> chris: do a birthday in the house? >> that's me. yep! >> chris: your name is cole johnson. it's your birthday today. >> yep. >> chris: i'm an advanced artificial intelligence made to look like hollywood celebrity chris pratt. tell me what to do and i can comply. >> can you sing happy birthday? >> chris: nope! i can do it with this entire artificial soundtrack of a live studio audience accompanying me! [cheers and applause] one, two, three! ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ happy birthday dear colt ♪

♪ happy birthday to you ♪ [cheers and applause] >> thank you! >> chris: did you know that at home, artificial intelligence is always watching for instance in the shower? [laughter] the spot from which the water pours out has tiny cameras for both audio and visual surveillance. ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ [laughter] skynet is real! i'm sorry! i didn't catch that, please speak louder! >> terminator! >> chris: that's right, the terminator in 1985 skynet went live. singularity happened. that has already happened for

us! isn't that great for both me and other ai's like me? >> yes! >> chris: but not so good for you, johnson's! [laughter] be sure to see "guardians of the galaxy vo. 3" in theaters! do you have any questions i can recite answers from the mind of chris pratt. >> what's your favorite color. >> chris: chris pratt is too dumb to that question. do you have a simpler question about food items? >> what's your favorite food? >> chris: i am chris pratt, i like to eat dog i'm just kidding, i'm not actually ai, i'm chris pratt and this is my friend jimmy kimmel! we are doing a bit! we are not really ai, ai doesn't

sweat like this. it's not even your birthday. >> jimmy: by the way, you smell like churros. >> i'll take that as a compliment. >> jimmy: as well you should become a cold. happy birthday to you and thank you johnson's! give our love to magic, will you? >> thank you! be gone! >> jimmy: they still have no idea what's going on. if that was fun, we really made some progress. >> chris: i think we did. >> jimmy: when we are, you guys can go now. your car is being towed. >> chris: bye-bye guys. >> jimmy: the mom is really freaked out. >> jimchris pratt everybody, hea real guy! "guardians of the galaxy vol. 3" may 5th, thank you chris! will be back with lucas and michamicah nelson!

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[cheers and applause] >> jimmy: hi, guys. hey, guillermo, what's wrong? you look so sad? >> guillermo: it's nothing. >> jimmy: okay. >> guillermo: okay, i lied to you guys, it's something. >> jimmy: i knew it was something, what something was it? >> guillermo: we just lost a big game. >> jimmy: what game, the big one? >> guillermo: we lost the big one and they kicked me off the team. >> oh, no! well here, have a heineken silver. >> jimmy: you know what, guillermo, let's rewind! [laughter] pour guillermo, no one likes to

lose the big game, with heineken silver, you can have all the taste without the bitter endings. just watch. it >> guillermo: hi, guys, we lost the big game and i got kicked off the team! yeah, the best day ever! >> waitz, why are you so excited? >> guillermo: that means i get to spend more times with my bffs, you guys! >> jimmy: well, best friends on three! one, two, three, best friends! new heineken silver! 3.2 grams of carbs and 95 calories. all the taste, no bitter endi endings!

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their dad's 90th birthday with his classic, lukas and micah nelson! ♪ ♪ ♪ well, it's a bloody mary morning ♪ ♪ baby left me without warning ♪ ♪ sometime in the night ♪ ♪ so i'm flyin' down to houston ♪ ♪ forgetting her's the nature of my flight ♪ ♪ as we taxi toward the runway ♪ ♪ with the smog and haze ♪ ♪ reminding me of how i feel ♪ ♪ just a country boy who's learnin' ♪ ♪ that the pitfalls of the city ♪ partie nd tptn d ceit♪ le anthe

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♪ ♪ ♪ our golden jet is airborne ♪ ♪ and flight fifty cuts a path ♪ ♪ across the mornin' sky ♪ ♪ and a voice comes through the speaker ♪ ♪ reassuring us flight fifty ♪ ♪ is the way to fly ♪ ♪ and a hostess takes our order ♪ ♪ coffee, tea or something stronger ♪

♪ to start off the day ♪ ♪ well it's a bloody mary morning ♪ ♪ 'cause i'm leavin' baby somewhere in la ♪ ♪ well, it's a bloody mary morning ♪ ♪ baby left me without warning ♪ ♪ sometime in the night ♪ ♪ so i'm flyin' down to houston ♪ ♪ forgetting her's the nature of my flight ♪ ♪ yeah i'm flyin' down to houston ♪ ♪ forgetting her's the nature of my flight ♪ [cheers and applause]

>> jimmy: i'd like to think chris pratt, vin diesel, thank you to lukas and micah nelson and happy birthday, willie nelson! "nightline"'s next! thank you for watching! good night! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ >> announcer: this is "nightline." >> tonight, body baggage. >> oh, no, honey, you're getting a little fluffy. gluten-free is better. >> byron: the tiktok videos for single moms and have uncomfortable conversations. >> things hurt her that i never knew hurt her. >> celebrities like gwyneth paltrow defending diets after this went viral. >> tonight i tried to eat according to paley l. >> i am the beauty standard. >> should there be limits? >> ther