>> from hollywood, it's kimmel live". tonight, chris pine, dave burd and music from war & treaty with cleto and the cletones. and now jimmy kimmel! ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. i'm jimmy and i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us, on spring break and we have -- thank you. that's quite enough of that. thank you. big weekend of basketball.

you watch any of the games this weekend guillermo? >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: you don't want college basketball, huh. >> guillermo: no, jimmy into my son kevin and i went to the lakers bulls game yesterday and my son's a bull's fans for reasons we don't understand but the bulls won it wasn't really a close game but it was fun because lebron came back and some of the bulls this year used to be lakers including patrick beverley. this guy played for the lakers they traded him last month. and it seems like he's still mad because twice during the final minute when the game was basically over he held his nose as if to say the lakers stink and then, and i wish this was on camera but i'm sitting right in front of him some of the fans behind us said the lakers wish they still had you and he went like this. they said i got no heart. i'm the scarecrow i have no heart. and of course i didn't have the heart to tell him it was the tinman who had no heart. the scarecrow ironically had no brain. i didn't mention that to him.

seemed like he was going through enough already. in the ncaa the final four, this final four was on nobody's bracket, five seeds miami and sand yaying 0 state nine seen and fourth seeded u-conn will play for the national title. u-conn advanced after beating gonzaga in a strange turn of events i found myself rooting for this imaginary school all in on gonzaga because they're the ultimate cinderella story in that like cinderella they're also fictional characters who don't exist. for years i'm sounding the alarm that gonzaga is not a real place, it's a basketball team and only a basketball team. up in spokane washington which is the north pole to gonzaga's santa claus expose the truth about this is causing the local news outlets to question whether or not they've been duped too. >> it all started in the 2019 ncaa tournament when kimmel insisted gonzaga did not exist. >> i'm saying he needs to visit

gonzaga. >> we'll show him around. >> we want to get kimmel on spokane and on the campus but to do that we need help to you, we need to use the hashtag kimmel to gu on twitter. >> use the hashtag and give jimmy your best evidence on why gonzaga exists. >> we're real. >> i mean, it's a place, we've been there. >> i have been there. >> he's just like that's where you just take me to the corn field and do away with him. >> jimmy: no, no. hold on. no one ever mentioned me being killed in a corn field, okay? now i'm definitely not going up there. by the way if i did go up there there would be like 8 people just standing there waiting to laugh at me but for the time being like the easter bunny or a spirit halloween store gonzaga disappears for the earth for another year. and if you still don't understand that this is a hoax, do yourself a favor, get some scrabble tiles and do this, if you rearrange the letters of gonzaga and add a few and change the z to an s, do you know what

it snells george santos. that's right. he's been playing the long game and still congressman george santos must be missing being on the news every night because he, for some reason, decided to shoot a video reviewing the new nasa space suit. >> hey everybody, so congressman george santos here and i'm going to give the fashion review of the new lunar suit which, quite frankly, just debuted last week. i personally like like orange. i think it gives it a lot of personality. it's a pretty cool looking suit. i know everybody's used to the whole white space suit and floatyness. i think the orange gives it a pop of color and i think this looks like the future. >>:myim tell didn't think much of of the serial liar socio path congressman but the astronaut fashion policeman i like a lot. >> it's nice to know we're back

on the race to space and with this announcement we're going back to the moon and this awesome gnarly looking suit, nasa you have a thumb's up from congressman george santos. >> jimmy: no greater honor than that. that's congrats. and that's coming from a guy who's been to the moon many times, many many times. meanwhile donald trump was up posting about his possibility indictment on truth social until 3:30 this morning, which means he's either nervous or the chef mixed too much adderall in his bedtime gravy bucket but he posted this on truth. he wrote, "watching jonah hill in 21 jump street made me like jewish people again." oh, wait hold on. no that was kanye west. that was kanye who posted that. i don't know if you heard he decided he likes jewish people now thanks no a standout performance from jonah hill in 21 jump street. i mean, that's, i mean, progress. they're saying this might be the first time in history that

anti-semitism has been defeated by a rerun on tbs. so the other, kanye west wing had a rally this weekend on waco on the 30th anniversary of siege that claimed the lives of 86 people there. you know if that happened now he'd side with the branch today individualians right? he would be like i like david koresh he likes me that's a good thing not a bad thing. trump chose waco because it is a powerful metaphor like his campaign. he's going down in flames and taking his cult followers with him. held court for 90 minutes did all the hits and made time for a personal attack on his old flame stormy daniels. >> investing me for something that is not a crime, not a misdemeanor. not an a fair. i never liked horse face. i never liked -- i never -- that's terrible. that wouldn't be the one. there is no one, we have a great first lady. >> jimmy: yeah, her name is jill

biden. but just to be clear, he didn't do it. he wouldn't do it. but if he had done it, he wouldn't have done it with er had. after the rally, stormy herself, in response to a tweet that said president trump wouldn't touch you with a 10-foot poll replied true he used the three-inch one and won the day. congratulations. boy, oh, boy, the burger king really cooked up extra big whoppers at this rally of his. he said if he was president he would end the war in ukraine in 24 hours. his plane flew into the song danger zone he entered to the national anthem made up of people acquired for storming the capitol on january 6th. >> the land of the free. >> that song tells you a lot because it's number one in every single category. number two was taylor swift.

number three was miley cyrus. >> jimmy: miley cyrus. number four salami gomez. nth not only was trump on hand in waco all the usual characters spoke in his behalf including matt gates and ted nugent who treatedd the crowd to an untrue and homophobic slur of the president of ukraine. >> i want my money back. i didn't authorize any money to ukraine to some homosexual weirdo. i want my money back. >> jimmy: you have no money. your last hit was 43 years ago. go back to your tree stand and be quiet. you know it's easy to feel like there are like a ton of crazy people because it looks like there are, but the venue in waco holds 50,000 people you can see from this aerial view the crowd was about, i don't know, 47,000 short of capacity. more people show up to the annual sausage showdown in waco than showed up to this event.

today, by the way, happens to be a notable date in medical historiment do you know what date it is guillermo? >> guillermo: no, jimmy. >> jimmy: i didn't think you would. today is the 25th anniversary of the fda approving it's changed life for the better for millions of american women and for the worse for millions of american women but they commemorated this occasion at pfizer headquarters where they're partying the only way they know how. hard. ♪ somebody once told me ♪ the world is gonna roll me ♪ i ain't the sharpest tool in the shed ♪ ♪ she was looking kind of dumb ♪ with her finger and her thumb in the shape of a nail on her forehead ♪ ♪ well, the gifts start coming and they don't stop coming ♪

♪ your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. ♪ what's wrong with taking the back streets ♪ you'll never know if you don't go ♪ hey now, you're an all star, get your beam on, go play ♪ ♪ hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid ♪ and all that glitters is gold ♪ only shooting stars make the most ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: congratulations to everyone. it's the disgusting brothers. i don't know if you watch the season premier of succession last night on hbo but it is the fourth and final season so when they rolled out the red carpet in new york we sent our guillermo there to cover it the way only guillermo ♪ >> guillermo: hi it's me guillermo i'm here for the red carpet of the show

suck-section. i don't watch the show but it's going to be fun. ♪ . >> guillermo: who's this guy he's in the show? hey how are you, how you doing, i never watched the show. >> it's not very good k it's just a lot of chat. >> guillermo: what is the show about. >> it's about a media family and it's also about a guy named tom and his life and he's a sexy funny guy. >>. >> guillermo: you play tom. >> charismatic. >> guillermo: is he the most hansom guy in the show. >> he is. >> guillermo: i don't watch the show. >> i don't watch yours either. go ahead. >> guillermo: what is the show about? >> it's about nurses and medical equipment and stuff like that. >> guillermo: what happened in the first three seasons. >> first two seasons, what can i say? somebody killed somebody, somebody tried to cover up for

it, somebody got married, somebody took over the business, somebody fought to take over the business and then didn't >> guillermo: kind of boring right? >> yeah. >> succession. >> guillermo: succession. >> you got it succession. >> guillermo: succession. i love you in the home alone movie. >> not me. >> guillermo: scary grandpa. >> no. >> guillermo: you're the guy from the little animal. >> yeah, the little animal. >> guillermo: that was a great movie. >> thank you very much. i think so, too. >> guillermo: i loved you in ferris buehler's day off. >> me too, i liked that too. >> guillermo: can you look into the camera and tell jimy i deserve a day off. >> jimmy guillermo deserves a day off. >> guillermo: you don't have no action nothing like that. >> i do on the show. >> guillermo: you do on the show. >> yeah. >> guillermo: i don't watch the show. why should i watch the show? >> neither do i.

>> guillermo: do you know what time it is it's time to pick a beanie baby from the beanie baby bag. >> pick one? >> guillermo: yeah, close your eyes for good luck and now you've got to pick one. all right. so it's safari. how do you say. >> do i get to keep this. >> guillermo: yeah. >> no. >> guillermo: it's good luck. thank you so much. ♪ . >> guillermo: how are you sir good to see you. >> hi, this is my wife by the way. >> guillermo: you look beautiful. every time i see your husband i get so happy. >> yeah. >> every time i see you you look happy. >> guillermo: you know why? because i drink a lot of tequila. >> i love tequila. >> guillermo: you want a shot of tequila. >> i love tequila. >> guillermo: i'll give you a shot of tequila right now. what's the catch freys. >> my country bleep bleep. don't [bleep] this is just fine. >> guillermo: that's good. how come you didn't wait for me.

>> where's yours? >> guillermo: all right, we fill one more. >> succession. >> succession. >> guillermo: is it great in real life? >> i don't know i can never see him. >> guillermo: is cousin great in real life? >> no, he's just a really good actor. >> he should have a catch phrase right. >> he should. >>oh okay. i'll have them gregging for more. >> guillermo: that's isn't it you have to sell it. >> this is my favorite one. >> guillermo: okay. >> i might look like a little pitch, but that's only because i am. >> guillermo: how do you say suck section? >> succession, suck. >> think of suck and think of a session of sucking. >> guillermo: succession.

greg can you get rid of this for me, please? thank you very much. >> here we ready? >> guillermo: that is superb. if you would like a shot of tequila. >> you smell like tequila, ii do. you're the one always showing pictures right? >> yeah. >> guillermo: do you want to see one? here. >> good? >> we're hugging now? >> yeah. >> guillermo: you smell terrific. >> i think you are dunk. >> guillermo: thank you. i am drunk but it's bryan cox's fault. he made me do like four or five shots of tequila. [bleep] off. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: well, i don't approve of the language but guillermo, everybody. we have a fun show tonight, from gay dave burd is here, music

from the war & treaty and we'll be right back with chris pine. ♪ (water splashing) hey, dad... hum... what's the ocean like? ♪ are there animals living underwater? ♪ is the ocean warm? yeah, it can be very warm. ♪ you were made to remember some days forever. we were made to help you find the best way there. ♪ could i get the 10 piece chicken mcnuggets? wait no, big mac. hmm. [honk] sir? i'm still here! uhhh. get one favorite like a big mac or 10 piece chicken mcnuggets and get another for just a buck, right now at mcdonald's. ♪

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-need me to help again? -no. so join us and taste why progressive is the name people trust. sorry, are we talking about apples now or insurance? [ laughter ] why is that funny? i'm steve, i lost 138 pounds in nine months on golo and taking release. since taking release, my sleep is way better. my inflammation has gone way down. i'm nonstop now, i feel way better than i did before. i don't sit down in life anymore. (seth) not to brag, but i just switched to verizon. (cecily) wow! (seth) and i got to choose the phone i wanted. for free. (cecily) not that you're bragging. (vo) choose the phone you want, on us. during our spring savings event. (cecily) on the network worth bragging about. verizon ♪ whenever heartburn strikes, get fast relief with tums. its time to love food back. ♪tum, tum tum tum, tums♪

excellent choice, of course. yeah! you! this road trip is very well planned.

yeah, i made a spread sheet. wow...that's...thorough ooooh look snacks! huge win. i could not choose. still a choice, and a good one i hope he got corn nuts. i love corn nuts. yeah, we do. take the win with quality, top tier gas for less at arco. >> jimmy: tonight from the very funy show "dave" which you can see on fsx dave burd and the husband and wife team, this is their album the lover's game the war & treaty from the mercedes benz stage. this week shows with ben affleck, viola davis and julius tennon from succession, nicholas braun from ted lasso, comedian ali wong, teen wolf two's jason

bateman and chloe straight kids and daniel caesar please join us. no actor in hollywood can match charisma talent and mountain fresh scent. starting friday his 20 sided dice on the new adventure dungeons and dragons honor among thieves. please welcome chris pine. ♪ ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] . >> chris: thank you very much. look at that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> chris: let's keep that music going. get the party -- >> jimmy: is this moonshine what's going on. >> chris: after all that

drinking guillermo's doing. >> jimmy: what is this? >> chris: okay. so the flower is a gift that i stole from back stage. >> jimmy: okay. >> chris: but it is fresh and beautiful because that's what you are. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. oh, how sweet. >> chris: and i want to apologize for getting covid last time and missing my appointment. >> jimmy: certainly not your fault. you should apologize if you come with covid that would have been the real crime. >> chris: yeah. >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> chris: gift number two is a wine. it's called mosavi bee, that at my house. >> jimmy: for real? >> chris: swear to god and that's also because i love snow you grow wine in your house. >> chris: i grow the grapes the wine's not actually made at my house. >> jimmy: okay, then i'll drink it. all right great. >> chris: yeah. >> jimmy: thank you very much. that's very old fashioned. i like that you're doing that. >> chris: i appreciate it. >> jimmy: my grandparents used to do that but it was because they were poor. >> chris: they made wine. >> jimmy: yeah, the grape truck would come around the neighborhood in brooklyn everyone would boy grapes and

down in the basement they would make the most disgusting wine possible. >> chris: that's true? >> jimmy: that's absolutely true. >> chris: that's wild. >> jimmy: and then they'd put soda in it, it's like an italian thing when the wine's not good you pour soda in it and it tastes good. >> chris: what kind of soda. >> jimmy: like sprite or something. >> chris: that's wrong. is it national viagr a >> jimmy: it's the and versely like the 25th anniversary. you don't seem like a man who's required any viagra to me but i could be wrong. >> chris: tuesdayss >> jimmy: tuesdays. >> chris: tuesdays. >> jimmy: you want to hang out until tomorrow then? because i think there's a couple of ladies up in the -- [cheers and applause] >> chris: she's saucy. >> jimmy: congratulations on this movie of yours which is being very well received. >> chris: yeah. i have to tell you it's a lot nicer when people like the film

than when they don't. >> jimmy: what do you do when you come here and know you have a dog on your hands. >> chris: i'm not going to tell you because it will happen in the future. i play make believe for a living i find something fun to talk about and something i enjoy doing. >> jimmy: so it's acting. >> chris: yeah it's a pure con. a way of tricking people out of like $13. >> jimmy: yeah. but this one you don't have to trick and that's nice. >> chris: no it's really good. >> jimmy: relaxing right? >> chris: yeah, it does. we were in westwood -- well we were all over the world, we were in berlin and paris and london a full tour and then last night at westwood, my favorite theater in la, this gorgeous old -- i don't know if it's a deco theater but one of those beautiful old. >> jimmy: which one was it >> chris: the westwood. >> jimmy: i know that one. >> chris: a across from didi

reece like 1200 seats like a rock concert. >> jimmy: did you bring a lot of people. >> chris: like 60 people. >> jimmy: family. >> chris: friends, family, people off the street to build up the audience. >> jimmy: so someone wondering if they are your friend or not and they did not get invited to the premier last night, the answer's no, right? stow. >> chris: thanks pal. thank you. yeah, but yeah, it was a fun night. >> jimmy: people love the movie. >> chris: people like the movie, yeah. i mean, you know, and then afterwards you go to the party and everybody's shaking your hand and you're feeling good, you've got a hit film and i'm feeling great shaking hands. thank you so much, thank you, we had a blast doing it. and then these two beautiful women come up to me and they shake my hand and they say, the movie was so great, you know, thank you so much. is your father here? >> jimmy: really? >> chris: my father's on a tv

show called chips. >> jimmy: sure. >> chris: so then i end up having to basically chaperone my father and take selfies with this gaggle of people that have surrounded my father. >> jimmy: does he like that? >> chris: he stole my thunder. >> jimmy: he did, yeah. yeah. >> chris: but i was very happy for him. >> jimmy: well, wait until tuesday, you know? they'll be back. you were very hairy the last time you were on the show. you had a big beard, you really were going -- >> jimmy: >> chris: what's the beard snow did you get bugs if that? why did you shave. >> chris: it was the dead of summer in burbank, 110 agrees i was like i'm not liking this. i said screw it and i went home and shaved the whole thing which felt great for like five minutes and then i realized how much gray hair i have. >> jimmy: this is a photo of your long hair, this is

beardless. i heard you say something about this and what it made you feel like i wanted to hear that. >> chris: i don't know if it's what it made me feel like but, okay, let's just break down this photo. >> jimmy: yeah. >> chris: this guy, feeling it, really, he's feeling it, he's feeling very cool. this is right before my publicist says that i looked like rachel from "friends". [laughter] [cheers and applause]. >> jimmy: why is that not a huge compliment? [laughter] >> chris: yeah. >> jimmy: i mean yeah, you should have said thank you is what you should have said. >> chris: i shouldn't have, man. >> jimmy: why? >> chris: because. i mean -- >> jimmy: listen, have you ever seen a better looking human being than this right here? come on now. not a chance. >> chris: no, i'm not taking it

away from jennifer don't throw me under the bass i think jennifer anderson's a beautiful woman. i'm a man. >> jimmy: you know what we'll do we'll take a commercial breaks and i'll check in and see. all check your parts you know what i'm saying. >> jimmy: you brought me flowers and wine i have to do something. chris pine is here the movie is dungeons and dragons honor among thieves. we'll be right back. me. keep being you... and ask your healthcare provider about the number one prescribed h-i-v treatment, biktarvy. biktarvy is a complete, one-pill, once-a-day treatment used for h-i-v in many people whether you're 18 or 80. with one small pill, biktarvy fights h-i-v to help you get to undetectable—and stay there whether you're just starting or replacing your current treatment. research shows that taking h-i-v treatment as prescribed and getting to and staying undetectable prevents transmitting h-i-v through sex. serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. rare, life-threatening side effects include a buildup of lactic acid

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>> jimmy: that is chris pine in dungeons and dragons honor among thieves, it opens in theaters only, it's only going to be in the movie theaters friday. >> chris: only in the theaters a fun one to see with a crowd. >> jimmy: got like 95% on rotten tomatoes. >> chris: but even more importantly, for audience scores. the audience, i've got to tell you and this is not bs and trying to sell, but seeing it with a group of people reminds you how awesome a cinema experience can be and why you do it, why you make it, why you go to it to share in that experience. >> chris: you just finished directing, you wrote and directed and starred in a movie. >> chris: yep co-wrote. >> jimmy: who else in it. >> chris: annette benning,

devito. steven devine. >> jimmy: he's great i love him. >> chris: clancy brown. >> jimmy: now we're getting too deep into the list. i stopped you there. but devito seems like a guy that makes everything fun. we've had him on and he's always fun. even in the commercials he's fun. >> chris: what i learned from devito is a life lesson which is you face everything with absolute joy. everything's joyful. you want to do press it's joyful. sitting in the trailer's joyful. lunchtime's joyful. it's always positive. it's always -- he's trying to make -- he loves bits. he loves, you know, getting into it. >> jimmy: when does that movie come out? >> chris: i don't know. >> jimmy: you don't know. okay. now this -- i'm curious about dungeons and dragons. have you played dungeons and dragons? >> chris: played it twice sthoo played it twice. so you're not going to pretend

to be a dungeons and dragons master. >> chris: i can pretend to be a dungeons -- you want to be? >> jimmy: we have someone on our staff who we recently learned as we were talking about this movie is a dungeon master. >> chris: i bet a lot of people -- does anybody play here? >> jimmy: no. it's one of the questions we ask at the door. so let's bring our co-workers out here. we have three co-workers and chris you're going to have to find out who's the dungeon master, okay? all right. now if you need any help, some questions that you can ask. this is tim, this is megan, this is lou, lou's our announcer, meg works in casting tim is a field producer on our show. one of these people is a dungeon master.

you're sizing them up i see already. what are your thoughts? >> jimmy: i just want to give them a little. >> jimmy: time to settle. >> chris: scare them. >> jimmy: they do look terrified. >> chris: here's a d&d gamer in town being tracked by a dragon. instead of dealing with a monster, they spend all of their time flirting with a cute half elf npc. how do you get them back on track. tim. >> jimmy: great question. >> chris: dragon takes the cute mpc away. >> jimmy: does that make sense? >> chris: yeah. >> run in and snatch it. >> jimmy: megan do you agree with that. >> that's better i was going to say punish them for wasting time and maybe turn the mpc into something to fight it. >> jimmy: lou. >> i was going to say the elf girl was a dragon all >> jimmy: okay. all right. >> chris: you, meghan's the

dungeon master. >> jimmy: you're guessing already. >> chris: we should ask more questions. >> jimmy: can i tell you something? you're absolutely right. megan is the dungeon master. tim is also a dungeon master and lou is a dungeon master, too, they're all dungeom masters, they all work here, and there's more we didn't even know about her work here. >> chris: how many do you have? >> jimmy: turns out we have a few too many. are you guys excited to go see the movie? >> absolutely, yeah. >> jimmy: do you have anything you would like to present as a gift for chris pine? >> i actually do. i bequeath you my lucky b 20 that contains the eyeball of an undead sur pant. >> jimmy: wow megan. >> after great peril i my elvin ear.

>> jimmy: lou? i can't believe you're parting with this. >> i've sla many with this, now may it dwarven you. >> jimmy: wow. dungeons and dragons, honor among thieves opens friday. we'll be back with dave burd. ♪ ♪ i'm lindsey vonn, and ever since i retired from skiing, i've had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep— you know, insomnia. before i found quviviq, an fda-approved insomnia medication for adults, you would not believe the things i used to think about when i couldn't sleep. hey, linds. i need you to sign this business contract. all 114 pages. lindsey! lindsey! hey, lindsey! it's workout time. hey, big man, we're in the middle of something here. yeah, it's called physical fitness. just a couple dozen more questions, lindsey. don't forget to pack your phone charger for tomorrow morning's flight. it's plugged in right over there.

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♪ >> jimmy: war & treaty is on the way our next guest the artist known as little tricky the artist known as dave you can watch the third season of his exceptionally funny show "dave". >> do you have condoms here? it's the same condoms everywhere. why don't they make smaller condoms for smaller [bleep] man. i feel like it would stay on better. >> if you're worried about stds. >> that's private business don't talk about that. >> i don't know what he's talking about but he's not

dangerous. >> you're crazy man. >> they know i'm joking. >> jimmy: "dave" prepares april 6th on fxx. please welcome dave burd. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: look at you you look very handsomement you're all dressed up. >> chris: thank you, yeah. >> jimmy: your show's very funny i feasted order the first three episodes of the show. >> chris: thank you. i'm glad you enjoyed it. eat it up. >> jimmy: i ate it i had mustard on it and everything. how are you doing? >> chris: i'm fantastic. guys i have a great season coming, season three. >> jimmy: you do. last season was your -- in that show, season you were recording your debut album. >> chris:. >> dave: psychological war. >> jimmy: psychological war. and this season you're enjoying

the fruits of your lane. >> dave: yeah, hitting the road tour all across america seeing what's going on in this nation. >> jimmy: and this is something you probably -- i'm sure you had that moment where you realized people want to come -- was it gradual or was it a moment. >> dave: it was sudden the internet's bizarre where you can cultivate a fan base without performing. all of a sudden, like my first show i didn't even do karaoke prior to this and i had to do like a 2,000 person performance and -- >> jimmy: that was your first show. >> dave: yeah. and i built up the cardio strength required out of me to make that performance happen and then the next one happened and i was in even better shape. yeah, it gets really -- >> jimmy: was it scary? >> dave: the scariest day of my life. >> jimmy: was it also thrilling? >> dave: it was thrilling but i'm not a thrill seeker. >> jimmy: you're not at all, yeah. that's clear on the show. >> dave: i hate roller coaster, i hate out of comfort zone a janesent experiences. i'm a sit on the couch talk to

jimmy kind of guy. >> jimmy: i will say you seem comfortable, at least on the show very comfortable in very uncomfortable situations. >> dave: yeah, well, you know, you've got to write in the comedy of life and sometimes the comedy can get a little uncomfortable. >> jimmy: that's right. >> dave: yeah. >> jimmy: for instance, there's a, would you call it a device? >> dave: i call it a device. >> jimmy: a device, yeah. >> dave: sexual safety device, like an add-on to the condom. people don't really know about. >> jimmy: for whom a condom is not enough protection. >> dave: yeah, it's called the skroguard. truly. and you wear -- yeah. >> jimmy: this is how you kick off the new season. >> dave: yeah. >> jimmy: this again is a real item. >> dave: it's a real item, they make these. >> jimmy: do they sell them or they just make them? >> dave: they sold them. i think the company has gone under. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> dave: but, yeah, you know, without being too crude, the condom sometimes can only cover

so much of the area of the body. so this is like, there's a whole pubic mound that that -- you know, so... . >> jimmy: and this is based on something that really went through your head. >> dave: are you asking me if i've ever used one of those. >> jimmy: yes, i am. yeah. >> dave: yeah. one time, one time. >> jimmy: what did the young lady say when -- did she ask you to wear this? >> no. here's what happened. basically i was on tour very much like the show, you go tour you meet people and you foster relationships and be like i'm coming back the same city a year from now i was coming back to the city and i was excited to meet a woman i met the year prior. i texted her i was going to be there all well and good and that morning i shaved my pubic harry that's how i carry myself as a man i do that. and i nicked my pubic mound and i was like oh my god and literally in my hotel room put a

condom on my penis to see if it would cover where i nicked and it wouldn't cover. so my whole game plan was thrown out the window after that. luckily, one of my friends, who gave me this thing as a joke and i just had it in my bag, and that night, you know, it was getting hot and heavy and i had warned her by the way, i told her by the way i did nick myself shaving so there's a limit to how far we can go sexually tonight. i said that. and then, you know, in the throes of passion sometimes your limits, i don't know, but all i know is i said look we're not going to have sex. and she was a little -- i said there is one way and i pulled it out and she was very accepting and it was honest will i a great experience, such peace of mind and i don't regret it and i think everybody won that night. >> jimmy: all right. [cheers and applause]. >> jimmy: it wasn't like having sex with a balloon animal

her i maybe she was being sweet. i was very touched boo it all. >> jimmy: and yet you weren't touched at all in a way. you have a lot of guest stars on at least the beginning of the season. >> dave: yeah. >> jimmy: i saw killer mike i km. >> jimmy: usher. >> dave: first concert i ever went to was usher. >> jimmy: is that true. >> dave: my entire life, first show. and i see this man -- women were weeping watching him as he would strip down into his underwear and give -- and honestly i strip down to my underwear when i do shows because of usher and i told him on set. >> jimmy: how did he react to that. >> dave: he thought it was cool. >> jimmy: when you strip down to your underwear are you wearing your skroguard. >> dave: that's post, post concert thing, you have to pace off the it. >> jimmy: who else is on the show. >> dave: so many, don cheadle what a legend. >> jimmy: i saw rick ross on the show. >> dave: rick ross and even toward the end of the season there are people so unbelievable i can't even reveal them. >> jimmy: unbelievable in what

way? >> dave: just like i don't know where you go next once you -- >> jimmy: really? >> dave: yeah, i can't believe what we've achieved. >> jimmy: so you have a star -- more than one star that's at a level we won't even be able to fathom. >> dave: for me, like the child in me is like i don't believe i've collaborated with these people. >> jimmy: is it kanye west. >> dave: no. >> jimmy: yeah, because that would be a bad surprise then later after you shot it. interesting. is it madonna? i no. madonna is a fan of the show and that was cool to see that. >> jimmy: there you go. you hear that a lot from people and you go, oh, wow, how can we work them in? >> dave: i try not to think strategically at all times but yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. you have to right? . >> dave: a little bit. >> jimmy: and general shaffer i i have to get you on there. >> jimmy: i haven't asked. maybe i'm the surprise guest and even i don't know it. >> dave: well. you actually are written into the show in a way -- i shouldn't even have brought it up.

are you in the show. >> jimmy: that's exciting. >> dave: yeah. >> jimmy: the show is so funny and you do a great jobment season three of "dave" premiers april 5th on fxx and you can watch it the next day on hulu. dave burred everybody. we'll be back with the war & treaty. ♪ >> the jimmy concert series is brought to you by mercedes benz. (peyton) you've got the force field, the moat, the saucy sheriff. no matter your cookout plate strategy... (duke) bush's baked beans make burgers taste better. (peyton) i love me a saucy sheriff.

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(peyton) the old goose egg. (duke) bush's zero sugar added baked beans. our secret family recipe, now with zero added sugar. (peyton) zero. (duke) you already said that manning. ♪ >> the jim kenney live concert series is presented by mercedes benz. the all electric mercedes benz lineup is here. >> jimmy: thanks to chris pine and dave burd. apologies to matt damon we ran out of time. but here with the lover's game, ain't no harm in me, the ♪ ♪ ♪ i seen the devil, and i seen his sons ♪ chasing after ♪ ♪ the innocent with them blazing

guns ♪ ♪ it ain't no way you can harm ♪ ♪ ♪ and i taste the ne forbidden tree ♪ my eyes have been open ♪ ♪ to your bitter schemes ♪ ♪ ain't no way you can harm ♪ ♪ i done took the devil's gold. i done took the devil's heat. i done robbed the man of the evil plans so there ain't no

harming me. ain't no harming me, ain't no harming me ♪ i seen the devil ♪ ♪ i seen his daughters ♪ ♪ bringing down the thunder ♪ ♪ on their absent fathers ♪ ♪ ain't no way you can harm me ♪ sing it now ♪ i done took the devil's gold, i done took the devil's heat, i done robbed the man of the evil plans so there ain't no harming me ♪ ain't no harming me ♪ ain't no harming me ♪ ain't no harming

ain't no harming me ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i done took the devil's gold ♪ i done took the man's heat ♪ i done robbed the man of his evil plans so there ain't no harming me ♪ ain't no harming me ♪ ain't no harming me ♪ ain't no harming ain't no harming me ain't no harming me ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

. >> watch out. >> what really happened minutes after leaving? swarmed by photographers before what they called a near catastrophic car chase. even getting into a taxi to try to escape. >> they told me to circle back. they were nervous, you could see their faces they were nervous. >> jimmy: the famous couple's latest clash with the paparazzi with harry still haunted by the death of his mother princess diana. plus eating disorders a look at a surging mental health crisis. >> the relationship with my family took a turn for the worse