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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  May 30, 2023 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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roku. download and start streaming. ama: thank you for watching. dan: for all of us, we appreciate your time. ama: have a great night. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, salma hayek pinault, billy crudup, and music from justine skye, with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: welcome. thanks. that's very nice.
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hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. and i thank you for watching and for joining us. i don't know, i spent the whole day watching football yesterday. you know, the matchup for super bowl lvii is set. the philadelphia eagles will play the kansas city chiefs in phoenix, arizona. the eagles dominated the shorthanded san francisco 49ers. the niners, i don't know if you watched it, they started the game with this rookie sensation, this kid, brock purdy. he started the season a third stringer, so when he got hurt, they brought in a fourth string qb, josh johnson, and then he got hurt. they were this close to bringing in whichever cheerleader had the strongest arm. they lost. after the game, fans in philly took to the streets to celebrate the way philly fans celebrate, loudly and drunkenly. they climbed on street signs. they were up on the streetlights. they climbed onto a -- i'm not sure that is, but they were on it.
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and on a bus stop, they went right through the -- yeah. the eagles were led by jalen hurts, their quarterback, who may well win a super bowl, but i think it's safe to say he will not be winning "american idol" any time soon. ♪ fly, eagles fly on the road to victory ♪ ♪ fly, eagles, fly, a touchdown one two three ♪ >> jimmy: yeah, not great, but have you ever seen adele try to throw a spiral? terrible. over on the afc side, kansas city had the mahome field advantage. they beat the bengals with a last second field goal after a very dumb penalty. but the big loser of the day was the mayor of cincinnati, who before the game issued some ill-advised trash talk from city hall. >> the cincinnati bengals are headed to the stadium for their second championship game. joseph lee burrow who is 3-0
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against mahomes has been asked by officials to take a paternity test confirming whether or not he is his father. >> jimmy: i don't even know that joke means, to be honest. it may have been the most embarrassing moment ever for a mayor of cincinnati. and keep in mind, jerry springer was mayor of cincinnati. as a result, the mayor found himself on the receiving end of a message from chiefs all-pro travis kelce. >> hey, i got some wise words for that cincinnati mayor. know your role and shut yo mouth! you got to fight for your right to party! >> jimmy: first time i ever heard anyone quote the beastie boys and the iron sheik in one sentence. this is interesting, travis kelce will be playing against his brother in the super bowl. his older brother, jason, plays center for the eagles. it's the first time two brothers have ever competed in the super bowl against each other, which
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that has got to be tough for their parents. no matter who wins, they've gotta take them both to disneyland, right? i would just tell them whoever wins is the son we love more. and that's that. that's how trump does it. you know. donald trump was back on the campaign trail this weekend. yelvis was in new hampshire and south carolina. and you know, we make a lot of fun of donald trump because he's a fool. but one thing you can say about him, he really has his finger on the pulse of this country. he knows what your average joe cares about. and what americans want most from their leaders right now, is for someone to do something about these accursed windmills. >> we demand windmills be built on our oceans. we demand they go on our prairies, our mountains and our plains. we're going wind, killing all the birds. >> they're killing our eagles and birds. >> you know, if you go out hunting and you happen to shoot a bald eagle, they put you in
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jail for five years. >> but the windmills knock out thousands of them. nothing happens. >> they kill thousands of them with these windmills. nothing happens. >> and the wind turbines are all made in china. >> jimmy: he is literally don quixote. he is not even a metaphor anymore. he's fighting windmills. why? i mean, i guess if i had a combover like that, i wouldn't like windmills either. too much. trump also warned that if ron desantis runs for president, he would consider it a great act of disloyalty. and you know, loyalty means everything to the guy who cheated on his third wife with a porn star and thought it might be cool to hang his vice president. he was on a roll. and he called the national archives a radical left organization, with their extremist left-wing antifa agenda of collecting and preserving government documents as required by law. think about this, if your
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grandfather wandered around shouting about killer windmills and marxist librarians, you'd send him to a place, right? you'd take away his car keys. trump also bragged about his dealings with the taliban, with whom he is apparently on a first name basis! >> abdul, abdul, the head of the taliban. i called him. i said abdul, you're killing a lot of our people. don't do it, abdul. i said abdul, don't do it, abdul. i said don't do it. don't do it. >> jimmy: 50% chance he called paula abdul accidentally, right? [applause] i have to say, watching trump out there campaigning again, it's kind of sad. it's the political equivalent of when michael jordan played for the wizards. but trump is out there making speeches, and now, even running ads. >> the fbi got after me for the russia, russia, russia hoax. long before my election as president, it was just a recipe
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for taking money from russia, russia, russia. may he rot in hell. >> jimmy: you know, sometimes i can't get over how much he reminds me of abraham lincoln. in congress right now, the case of curious george santos gets curiouser every day. we learned over the weekend that more than a dozen of the top donors to his campaign don't exist. and even more shocking, we learned that some of those who donated to his campaign do exist. how this guy is still walking around the house, i don't know. this is like the movie "catch me if you can," if, in the first five minutes, tom hanks caught him. there are so many questions, and george santos is doing his very best not to answer any of them. >> mr. santos, you listed the wrong name of a treasurer. why did you list the wrong name of your treasurer on your campaign finance forms? >> i'll have a conversation with you when you become a better honest reporter. >> i'm asking you directly. >> an honest reporter, and you know that.
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>> strong move hiring bobby big face to block the cameras. that guy is good. he is one of the best. george santos is literally running. he's got more yards than walter payton right now. but he's also trying to ingratiate himself, trying to the reporters who are waiting in the hall all day by almost every day bringing them some kind of baked good. >> hi, how you? i just wanted to put some cupcakes out for you guys. i just brought these in for you guys. i just put them in the containers. but they're for you guys. thank you. >> jimmy: that's how the witch got hansel and gretel. do not eat those cupcakes. and here's the best moment, the one question, the one question george santos decided to stop and answer was this. >> congressman santos, who do you think is going to win "drag race" this season? >> i have not watched a season of "drag race." >> you had a great reply. >> this season?
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>> i have not. >> you got to read up. >> jimmy: well, at least we know how to get his attention. maybe rupaul can get some answers out of this. the only way any of this makes sense, is if george santos turns out to be sacha baron cohen. our other nutty buddy, mr. mypillow, mike lindell, had a disappointing weekend. mike, this weekend, threw his name in the ring to be named chair of the republican national committee. >> i nominate the one individual in america, besides president trump, of course, who has stood against the corrupt democrat apparatus that demands fealty to the machines. i proudly nominate mike lindel for rnc chair. >> jimmy: sadly, she was almost alone. mike lost his bid to become chair of the rnc. mike got 4 votes, which is five more than i expected he would get. he was defeated bigly by the incumbent ronna mcdaniel, even though according to a rasmussen
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poll, 30% of republican voters wanted him to run the republican fundraising effort. and 100% of democrats wanted him to run the republican fundraising effort. so, this is tough news for mike. but things are about to get better! as you may know, mike has repeatedly asked to come on our show, and i have repeatedly invited him to appear on the show, under one condition, and the condition is that he lets me interview him from inside a claw machine. you know those machines they have at the arcade? the claw comes down? well, i said, if you get in one of those, i'll do the interview. and good news, it looks like it's happening tomorrow night. >> this is the one stipulation i said. i don't mind getting inside of a claw game, okay. in fact, back in the day, the claw thing, everybody probably thought hey, it would be cool to be inside of a claw game, right? who has probably done that? this will be kind of interesting for me, something i haven't done. >> jimmy: all right, yeah.
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dude, it will be a new experience. and that's what we do here at "jimmy kimmel live," we make dreams come true. although there is, according to mike, there is one condition. >> you better tell me if you're going to put stuff in there, what's going to be in that claw game, you know what i mean? you know what i'm saying? i don't want anything that i don't know what, would be evil, you know, whatever. >> the claw game doesn't need to be branding some kind of -- >> some kind of evil things. that's exactly right. >> jimmy: right. i promise, mike, i promise we won't put evil things in the claw machine. no pentagrams, no talismans, there will be one satanic rottweiler in there. but otherwise it will just be you and a colorful assortment of plush animals and plastic eggs. tomorrow night, the mypillow man will be here, squeezed inside an arcade claw machine. there it is. that's the one he's going in.
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this is how we begin our 21st year of -- i finally found my purpose, you know. last week we celebrated our 20th anniversary. [cheering] >> jimmy: thank you. i do want to say we couldn't have done any of it without you. you are the butane that keeps this zippo lighter going. and so tonight, as a token of our appreciation, we wanted to give something back to our audience, to thank you for 20 incredible years. >> johnny carson, david letterman, magic johnson, the most beloved talk show host of all time. but none have had the distinction of being minted in precious metal, until now. american trinket manufacturers presents the "jimmy kimmel live!" 20th anniversary commemorative coin. this one-of-a-kind coin is forged from 23% sterling silver, 46 melted carpet nails, and 31% aluminum foil. on the front, a stunning portrait of jimmy kimmel as
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drawn by free ai software. on the flip side, a chuck e. cheese token logo. as network television disappears into a hellscape the value will only increase, or maybe even decrease. and it could be yours for a one-time payment of $799, or four monthly payments of $399. order your jimmy kimmel live 20th anniversary coin today at www.givejimmykimmelyourmoney right now. call now to speak to one of our sexy operatives. >> what are you asking me that for? why you asking me what i'm wearing? >> for a limited time, use code tequila and receive a guillermo mustache absolutely free. the jimmy kimmel live 20th anniversary commemorative coin. it's not technically worthless. available at walgreens. [cheering] >> jimmy: nobody tell
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walgreens. i want it to be a surprise. we have a fun show for you tonight. billy crudup is here. we've got music from justine skye. and we'll be right back with salma hayek pinault. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ starting a new chapter can be the most thrilling thing in the world. there's an abundance of reasons to get started. how far we take an idea is a question of willpower. because progress... is a matter of character. could i get the 10 piece chicken mcnuggets? wait no, big mac. hmm. [honk] sir? i'm still here! uhhh.
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prices going up everywhere. it's goodbye steaks. hello, cereal. this is grocery outlet and your family can still have steaks for dinner. follow me. at grocery outlet we have an amazing selection of meats. like beef, pork, chicken, all within your family's budget even today. hello. steak and chicken and pork chops. ♪ grocery outlet bargain market ♪. sorry. got excited. ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. tonight from his new show "hello tomorrow!" billy crudup is with us. then later, from fort greene, brooklyn, her new compilation is called "dark side." justine skye from the mercedes benz stage. hey, we have a good week of shows this week with reese witherspoon, pamela anderson, nick offerman, science bob
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pflugfelder, and a special appearance from mypillow ceo mike lindell, who will be with us from inside a claw machine. and we will have music from sofia carson, diane warren, and fall out boy. our first guest tonight is an oscar-nominated actress, and all-around delight, who joins loins with channing tatum in the third and final installment, of a beloved franchise, "magic mike's last dance." it opens in theaters a week from friday. please say hello to salma hayek pinault. [applause] ♪ ♪ [cheering] >> jimmy: how are you? it's very good to see you. >> it's very good to see you too. it's very good to see you too. [cheering] >> jimmy: we got a nurse in the audience, in case anything weird happens. speaking of nurses, guillermo,
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you know guillermo. >> i know guillermo. >> jimmy: i was texting with him today because he has covid nueve diaz. >> oh, wow. >> jimmy: but he is fine. he said just sniffles. >> so he is fine. he just didn't want to show up for work? well, he can't come. we can't risk him infecting you. >> if i were you, i would make sure he passes the test and show me. i know you, guillermo. >> jimmy: well, he was very bummed that you were going to be here without him. and he actually -- i said oh, well text me a note. and i will read to it salma. >> oh, boy. >> jimmy: and he wrote, salma, that worse thing of being sick is not being able to see you or say hi and take a tequila shot with you. i wish you that best for you and your wonderful family. see you at that oscars. >> okay, okay! let's do that. >> jimmy: will you be at the oscars? >> i don't know. maybe i will. maybe i won't.
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>> jimmy: got nominated for best animated. >> i know. i know. >> jimmy: you should be there. >> i play an animated cat. is that enough excuse to go to the oscars? >> jimmy: i don't think you need an excuse. >> i play an animated cat. but i love the film. i love the film. and i might show up any way. >> jimmy: why not? come. >> i have a dress. i don't know what to do with it. i don't know where to take it. oh, let's go to the oscars. >> jimmy: oh you have the dress already. wear it. sure. you know, i was looking at a picture. i have this great photograph from 2017 when i was hosting the oscars. >> i remember! >> jimmy: and there was a mix-up at the end. >> i am terrified, because you're doing it again. god knows what's going to happen. oh, but that was very exciting. what an electrical moment, no? >> jimmy: yeah. >> 1979 -- >> jimmy: it looks like we had a photograph. no, it was 2017. let's zoom in on salma here. this is while it was happening. >> you know i saw it coming.
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i saw it happening before it happened. >> jimmy: oh, you did? >> yes. because the guy that was in the aisle, one of those people are like yeah, what's happening, okay, i'm going to get the camera over there. i just -- everybody was looking, and i see him go what? what do i do? what do i do? i can't, i can't, i can't tell them. i can't go up the stage. no, somebody else has to do it. please don't make me. do we go to commercial? no. he was so nervous. and i said oh, this is not the right winner. this is not the right winner. >> jimmy: yeah. and then let's look around here and look at some of the other. dwayne johnson. >> he thought it was hilarious. >> jimmy: he loved it. who else do we have there? merrill street, denzel washington. meryl is really taking it kind of hard. and we have -- oh, those two creeps.
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look at those. mel gibson looks mad. of course, he only cares about himself. >> no. >> jimmy: yeah, that was a crazy moment right there. do you like going to awards shows? is it something you enjoy? >> i enjoy almost everything. what i don't enjoy is getting on the stage. >> jimmy: you don't? >> because have i the very bad, a very bad case of stage fright. >> jimmy: is that true? you always seem super relaxed. i'm surprised by that. >> but in the morning i have diarrhea. i threw up right before i got on the stage. [applause] my mouth goes completely dry. there is no water that can satisfy the thirst. so i have to do the mints. the tequila does help, though. it doesn't take away the dry mouth. i did need the shot of tequila. once i'm about to go out, i really need to go to the bathroom, to pee. i don't know why, my bladder really gets very nervous about it. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah.
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and then -- good evening ladies and gentlemen. >> jimmy: didn't something happen with michael keaton? you were presenting? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: what was that again? >> i was presenting, and, okay, i present. and i keep saying when they go to the video, i keep saying to myself, it's almost over, you're good, you're good, you're good. you just read the winner and then you're out of here. and i'm always praying that their speeches are short. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> because even though i'm not talking, i'm still on the stage. >> jimmy: you have to stay there, yeah. >> and this guy, and the winner is michael keaton. he went to the bathroom. or he, i don't know. >> jimmy: maybe he had diarrhea too. >> maybe. >> jimmy: you know. >> and i'm standing there and michael keaton. and there is this silence. and everybody is staring at me. and he is nowhere to be find. and i don't remember, i said something like oh my god, please, i have stage fright!
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whoever, somebody come and get this! and he must have heard me, and he finally showed up. and he's walking like a god, like nothing. taking his time. and then he gets on the stage, and he decides to do like a roll. and dude, get over here already. >> jimmy: you got a star in the hollywood walk of fame since the last time you were here. [applause] i'm always interested when that happens, you pick somebody, like who is important to you, to present, to speak about you before. and who did you pick to speak about you? >> oh, i made the mistake to pick adam sandler. >> jimmy: why was that a mistake? >> i don't know. you see, normally during the day, but they did it special for me at night. >> jimmy: oh, why? >> and he must have decided, well, we can go r. it's r rated, it's night or something.
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but he practically, as showed up in his horrible clothing. the big shorts. [laughter] and then went on to insult me and my family and roast me for half an hour. and the worst part is that i still love him. >> jimmy: well, yeah, he is hard not to love. >> it was very funny. it was very funny. >> jimmy: well, when we come back, we are going to see -- i saw your movie last night. >> uh-oh. look at the face. >> jimmy: and i can't even believe what i -- honestly, i can't -- well, we're going see a little bit of that when we come back. salma hayek pinault is with us. "magic mike's last dance." >> you're blushing. you're blushing! ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ [cheering] >> jimmy: that's salma hayek and "magic mike's last dance." i wish i could show the whole five minutes. >> and that's just the
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beginning. >> jimmy: that is. i mean, it is -- you are -- he's like -- he's channing all over your tatum is what he's doing. he's lifting you up. you're on his head, you're up against the wall, you're up against the glass. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: it really -- i mean, was that not -- that had to be somewhat exciting, right? >> yeah, yeah. it was also challenging, technical. >> jimmy: it seemed like it was. it seemed a little bit dangerous, actually. >> it was. you know, there is one part that's not in it where i'm upside down and my legs had to be somewhere, but upside down, one loses sense of direction. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i didn't do what i was supposed to do. so in the rehearsal i went head down, almost hit my head. he held on to my pants, but i was really concerned because my
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pants, he was pulling my pants were going away, and i couldn't remember if i had underwear or not. in this moment. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so instead of putting my hands to protect my head, i just held on to the pants. and he's like put your hands down! put your hands down no, no, no. hold on to my legs. no, no, no. until everybody came in and kind of took me away from him. and he said what's wrong with you? i said what's wrong with me? you nearly killed me! >> jimmy: that was really something else. have you had a lap dance before from a male dancer? >> not really, no. >> jimmy: not really. yeah. channing really knows how to do it. >> yeah, yeah. if you're going to start somewhere, why not channing? but you know what? i deserve it. i deserve it.
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>> jimmy: you. do, you do. [cheering] >> i had to play the stripper in so many movies before. and now i got to sit down and enjoy. i don't take my clothes off. i didn't have to be like them all day. the only problem is that towards the end i want to go in the water, and then i saw a lot of people, and i knew i hadn't been exercise and i'd been hitting the cuban food. and come on, let's go. if you want to go in the water, you have to go now. and channing arrives from the back. what are you doing sitting on the floor? get in the water. no, no, no. i don't want anybody to see me in a bathing suit and take a picture. he goes don't worry. i've been walking up and down for hours hoping for someone to take a picture of me because every time i gained weight, i go to the water for one second, and they take a picture. and today that i'm in my best
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shape after all the work i've been doing, nobody's taking my picture. >> jimmy: that was impressive. is that scene the reason you've taken your husband's last name? you've incorporated into yours? because i don't know what i would think if i saw my wife in that scenario. and you are fully clothed, yet it is incredibly vigorous. >> yes. but he gets the same but even better without the clothes. >> jimmy: yes. >> so i don't think he is going to complain. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, that's true. you know what? >> that's a good point. >> jimmy: that's an excellent point. >> but you know, i've always had the name, but everybody refused to say it. >> jimmy: right. >> my publicists okay. they don't even put it sometimes in the movies. why didn't you put it up? oh, we forgot, sorry. it's been printed. so somebody's making -- >> jimmy: well, it's great to see you. i hope you come to the oscars.
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>> me too, me too. you're always amazing in it. >> jimmy: salma hayek pinault, everybody. there is a pinault at the end of it. don't forget it! "magic mike's last dance's" opens in heat areas week from friday. we'll be back with billy crudup. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ narrator: the man with the troublesome hemorrhoid enters the room. phil: excuse me? hillary: that wasn't me. narrator: said hillary, who's only taken 347 steps today. hillary: i cycled here. narrator: speaking of cycles, mary's period is due to start in three days. mary: how do they know so much about us? narrator: your all sharing health data without realizing it. that's how i know about kevin's rash. who's next? wait... what's that in your hand? no, no, stop! oh you're no fun. [lock clicks shut] what's with the double mcnuggets? oh this one's my backup, in case something happens to the first one. [crunch] mmm. see. get one favorite like 10 piece chicken mcnuggets and get another for just a buck,
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♪ ♪ >> jimmy: our next guest sells shares on the moon in the new series, "time shares tomorrow." >> why should the rich and famous get the moon all to themselves. start fresh, unwind, not to mention you own an asset your kids will be grateful for. so please, take a minute. just a minute and sit down with our top-notch sales associates and start living your brighter tomorrow today.
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[applause] >> jimmy: "hello tomorrow!" premieres february 17th on apple + tv. please welcome billy crudup. [applause] ♪ ♪ >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: have you ever had a lap dance from a man? >> so jimmy, i wanted to do a quick shout out to my mom. >> jimmy: oh. sorry. >> it's her birthday today, and also she is recovering from hip surgery. >> jimmy: oh. >> so happy birthday, mom. >> jimmy: yeah, hippy birthday. where is your mom right now? >> she is in new york. in rehab center. >> jimmy: so while some children would be at their mother's side after an operation -- >> i was getting a lap dance out here, correct. >> jimmy: well, thanks for being here. >> hey, thanks for having me. >> jimmy: by the way, the show
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is great. i watched a few episodes of it this weekend. >> how many? >> jimmy: three episodes. >> that's impressive. >> jimmy: why? >> did you watch all three? >> jimmy: well you want to quiz me on them? i don't know. by the way, is it you're a sales guy. you're a traveling sales guy. >> that's right. >> jimmy: you are selling real estate. >> correct. >> jimmy: to americans. >> sure. >> jimmy: on the moon. >> that's right. >> jimmy: it's set in what appears to be the 1950s. >> you got everything so far. >> jimmy: but it looks like the '50s style, all that kind of stuff. but there are these awesome devices like these cars that float. >> yep. >> jimmy: and popcorn that makes itself. >> that's right. >> jimmy: in a popcorn popper. like the jetsons, really. >> we call that the retro future. >> jimmy: the retro future. >> in the tv world. so i think probably the writers are thinking what's a good way to tell a story about america in the past and in the future - and
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a bit of the present. so america tends to be a very hopeful, optimistic country. the people who came here were probably looking for promise of a better future. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and we sell that a lot in our products. and so i think the idea of this, it being a part of the past, part of the future, part of the present, what happens if we're only selling hope? do we ever actually live in the present moment. jack is a believer in hope. so he is constantly selling this optimism. >> jimmy: now you made a really interesting show sound boring. [laughter] >> jimmy: with your gobbledygook. >> i'm going to take that damn chair with me. by the way, don't you have editing tools? you understand i'm an actor. i only go with the writing. i'm speaking extemporaneously now. it's a train wreck for everyone involved. "hello tomorrow!" is a terrific show. it's super fun. who likes the jetsons?
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>> jimmy: that's right. >> who wants to see america in the future? [cheering] >> jimmy: it is fun. i love watching those. i love stuff that has inventions in it. i just love it. i really do. >> that's all the writers. lucas jenson, they created all of this out of their imagination. it was all in the script. every one of those bots, the bar bot and the all the products are in there. >> jimmy: and some of them kind of exist. the vacuum cleaner is a roomba. >> it is a roomba. >> jimmy: so you base this character on your dad. was he a salesman? he -- um, he was a hustler. he was the guy who was always looking -- actually, the writers called this jackpotitis, i'm looking for the big win. so my dad imagined that he was going to invent the pet rock. and for those of you who don't know, in the '70s or '80s, there was a guy i got a bunch of rocks. why don't i sell them. i'll put it in a box and call it my pet and everybody bought
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them. >> jimmy: yep we had one. >> the guy made a mint by selling pebbles. >> jimmy: by selling rocks. >> by selling rocks. my dad imagined at some point he would find his pet rock. >> jimmy: did he ever? >> no. we had a lot of lonely hat umbrellas. it was always the idea of the product in the future. for instance, the hat umbrellas, they had already been around. they were kind of multicolored. and he had the idea -- they failed in the marketplace at this point. because they don't work incredibly well for keeping the rest of your body dry in a storm. i don't know how they hold up to the wind. but in any case, my dad had this idea, i'll get lou brock, who played for the st. louis cardinals, i believe, to endorse them, and i'll call them the brock-a-brella. and i'll only do red and white. so he got lou brock somehow. >> what? >> i guess because my dad is a hustler. and lou brock endorsed the brock-a-brella. [laughter] it didn't do quite
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that well. it didn't even merit tepid applause. >> jimmy: wow. that is incredible. >> yeah, amongst the many things. we had a lot of interesting characters. >> you did a one-man show. >> i did, yeah. >> jimmy: recently in new york. did you see it? >> i did not see it. you want me to do it for now. >> jimmy: i would love it. that's crazy you can do a whole show for an hour. >> it was crazy to me too. it was awful. the preparation was just keeping panic attacks at bay by taking a cold shower before every show. >> every show? >> yes. you have to make yourself comfortable with discomfort to go out in front of people. >> jimmy: you seem so comfortable. and you are supremely talented. >> thank you. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: i've seen you. i can't even believe it. >> come on, come on!
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>> jimmy: so anyway, the other night we were texting. i happened to be on my computer. which us going through this chatgpt. >> which i just heard about. >> jimmy: it's an ai thing where you put something in there. and i was thinking it would be fun to test your acting abilities, your one-man showmanship. and i am going to type a sentence into this thing, and we'll see what comes out and you will act it out. >> so i've done stoppered. i've done becket, i've done shakespeare and pinter. you'll make a fricking robot. >> jimmy: you'll be doing ai. write a dramatic soon for billy crudup starring billy crudup. >> i know where this is going. >> jimmy: do you? >> yeah. it's going to be angsty. >> jimmy: okay. it's working. here we go. look at this. can you see? it's happening. it just writes like. the scene opens. >> i should have had my pitch for "hello tomorrow!" >> jimmy:
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now we're putting this i the teleprompter also. >> is that it? >> jimmy: okay. great. so there it is. the scene opens. so would you be so kind as to take this? ladies and gentlemen, billy crudup. [cheering] >> jimmy: i will read the stage direction. let's set the mood, if we may. the scene opens on billy crudup, a middle aged actor sitting alone in his dressing room. he is staring at a photograph of himself from his early days in the industry. he's deep in thought, clearly troubled. >> i thought it'd be different. i thought i'd be happy now. but i'm not. i'm not happy at all. >> jimmy: he stands up and begins pacing the room. >> i played all these characters. these people with all these
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different lives. but what have i done with my own? i've been so focused on being an actor, on being billy crudup, that i've forgotten who i am. that's a little confusing. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. he sits down in front of a mirror, staring at his reflection. >> i've been running. for so long. running from who i am. running from my past. but it's caught up with me. i can't run anymore. i have to face it. >> jimmy: he takes a deep breath and stands up, determination on his face. >> i'll be an actor.
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but i'll be billy crudup too. [cheering] >> i'll be true to myself, and i'll be happy! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: wow. incredible. >> oh, look, they're throwing. >> jimmy: billy crudup, everybody. "hello tomorrow!" premieres february 17th on apple tv+. we'll be right back with justine skye.
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>> jimmy: thanks to salma hayek pinault and billy crudup. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next. but first, her new compilation is called "dark side." here with the song, "collide," justine skye! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ ♪ i been knowing you ♪ ♪ for long enough damn ♪ ♪ i need you right now ♪ ♪ you can take your time ♪ ♪ don't have to rush this ♪
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♪ might take us a while ♪ ♪ yeah ♪ ♪ i left all the doors unlocked ♪ ♪ and you said ♪ ♪ you're on your way ♪ ♪ when you get here ♪ ♪ don't just say a word ♪ ♪ got no time to play ♪ ♪ i know you think that you know me ♪ ♪ but you ain't even seeing my dark side ♪ ♪ it's as if it's you only ♪ ♪ so baby do me right ♪ ♪ do me right we can go all the time ♪ ♪ we can move fast then rewind ♪ ♪ when you put your body ♪ ♪ on mine and collide ♪ ♪ collide ♪ ♪ it could be ♪ ♪ one of those nights where we don't turn off the lights ♪ ♪ wanna see your body on mine and collide ♪ ♪ collide ♪ ♪ is this love, you make it hard
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to tell ♪ ♪ are you someone ♪ ♪ i can trust ♪ ♪ since you know me so well ♪ ♪ i'll do whatever you like ♪ ♪ got me under your spell ♪ ♪ but promise what we do tonight ♪ ♪ that you won't kiss and tell ♪ ♪ i know you think ♪ ♪ that you know me ♪ ♪ but you ain't even seeing my dark side ♪ ♪ it's as if it's you only ♪ ♪ so baby do me right ♪ ♪ do me right ♪ ♪ we can go all the time ♪ ♪ we can move fast then rewind ♪ ♪ when you put your body on mine and collide ♪ ♪ collide ♪ ♪ it could be one of those nights where we don't ♪ ♪ turn off the lights wanna see your
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body on mine ♪ ♪ and collide ♪ ♪ collide baby ♪ ♪ it's all yours if you want me ♪ ♪ i'm all yours if you want me put it down ♪ ♪ if you want me tonight ♪ ♪ said it's all yours if you want me ♪ ♪ i'm all yours if you want me put it down ♪ ♪ if you want me ♪ ♪ let's collide 'cause baby we could go ♪ ♪ we can go all the time ♪ ♪ we can move fast then rewind ♪ ♪ when you put your body on mine and collide ♪ ♪ collide ♪ ♪ it could be one of those nights where we don't ♪ ♪ turn off the lights ♪ ♪ wanna see your body on mine ♪ ♪ and collide ♪ ♪ collide ♪ ♪ baby ♪ ♪ it's all yours if you want me ♪ ♪ i'm all yours if you want me ♪ ♪ put it down ♪ ♪ if you want me tonight ♪ ♪ said it's all yours if you want me ♪ ♪ i'm all yours if you want me put it down ♪ ♪ if you collide ♪
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[cheers and applause] >> announcer: this is "nightline." >> byron: tonight, behind bars. elizabeth holmes reports to federal person. the mother of two now facing 11 years for fraud. >> she is. >> she is going to be separated from her family, her children, her friends for many, many years and that may be the highest price a person can pay. >> byron: the stunning fall from grace. stanford dropour

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