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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  June 16, 2023 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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amazon fire tv, and roku. download the app and stream for free. dan: for all of us, we appreciate your time. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, david letterman and dominique fishback. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, how are you doing? welcome. thank you. thank you, i appreciate that. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming, thank you for watching, thanks for
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everything, really. i'm glad you're here. it's a special, special night for us. it's a special night for me because david letterman is here. [ cheers and applause ] this is his first time visiting us here in l.a. and i have to say i feel like our regional manager is coming for an inspection. [ laughter ] "straighten up everybody!" [ laughter ] dave is here to tell us about his new documentary on disney plus, "bono & the edge: a sort of homecoming, with dave letterman" and to promote his new faith-based cryptocurrency, davecoin! [ laughter ] which i'm excited about. this is a big deal for me. this is like if don francisco came to the set. >> guillermo: that's right, jimmy, real by, very big, yes. >> jimmy: i hope dave brought his galoshes because the rain is not stopping here. this is from a busy street in santa cruz. >> they just caught a fish.
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oh, they're going to have dinner tonight. fish in the road. >> jimmy: mmmm, street fish! you can't beat intersection sushi. [ laughter ] here in l.a., we are not too good when it comes to navigating anything, really. any scenario you throw at us, we will succumb. this is from an underpass not far from here in the city of commerce where a motorist made the always wise decision to gun it. >> this guy is going to go for it. that is not recommended. oh my gosh. and i'm pretty sure he just got stuck. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yep. there he is, stuck. if only there had been another abandoned car nearby to serve as a warning. [ laughter ] perhaps that wouldn't have happened. [ applause ] as if it wasn't bad enough that he got caught in the water, he wound up in some kind of a pod of local news crews. because channel 5 picked up where channel 7 left off, which was with him in the water.
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>> this driver managed to grab his backpack and tried to walk through knee-deep water. firefighters and a tow truck showed up to pull out his car. but unfortunately he lost balance, fell in the floodwaters, before making it to the sidewalk. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, no. put him in rice! put him in a zip-loc bag, fill it with rice, leave it on the windowsill. i like to imagine his kids watching that on a loop now. "dad, you're aquaman!" [ laughter ] today marks three years since the first covid lockdown. it was three years ago on. remember we were elbow-bumping and working the atm with our feet? [ laughter ] i guess it's gone because president biden is now in las vegas, of all places. he had a busy schedule today. he met with democrats to discuss the inflation reduction act, he gave a speech at unlv about prescription drug prices, and tonight, he wraps things up with a stop at the peppermint hippo to make it rain. [ laughter ] what if they gave him one night off from being president in las vegas? let him wander around the casino
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at 3:00 a.m., blasted on schnapps, maybe one of those big horn drinks. [ laughter ] asking around for donny and marie. you know? [ laughter ] can you imagine joe biden at a card table? "i need a jack, jack!" [ laughter ] the president could use a bit of luck right now. he has some fresh new competition for 2024. joe exotic, the now-incarcerated tiger king, has launched a presidential campaign. even though he is serving a 21-year prison sentence. he made the announcement on his website. he wrote, "put aside that i am gay, that i am in prison for now, that i used drugs in the past, that i had more than one boyfriend at once, and that carole hates my guts. this all has not a thing to do with me being able to be your voice. i am used to fighting my whole life just to get by. i am broke, they have taken everything i ever worked for away, and it's time we take this country back." [ laughter ] makes sense to me. [ applause ]
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maybe in a couple of months trump can just copy and paste that onto his campaign website. [ laughter ] the tiger king, believe it or not, has some pretty solid endorsements from a number of luminaries including seth posey, his own fiance. matthew heller from hornblasters.com. cannabis influencer, "cookies super fan." "classy convicts," a prison pen pal website. a half a dozen bikini models/porn stars. and snake trapper, "python mike" kimmel." who is, sadly, no relation to me. but that's a good list. i think that was the list for the "vanity fair" oscar party on sunday night. unfortunately for joe, we have moved on to other characters who've captured our imagination, led by congressman curious george santos. [ laughter ] who i mentioned last night filed paperwork indicating that he plans to run for re-election in 2024. today he released the first of what i hope will be many ads announcing this campaign. >> times are tough.
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money is tight. americans deserve better. i'm george santos, and i'm running for re-election. as the child of a mother who was jewish and a father who was a velociraptor, i know all too well the challenges that are faced by everyday americans. when i was a boy, i remember my childhood home being repossessed. by the demon pazuzu. very traumatic, they made a movie about it. being an openly gay republican congressman isn't common, but i am not unlike many of my constituents. i grew up in jackson heights in a basement apartment watching saturday cartoons and eating peanut butter and ketchup sandwiches with my sisters, kate and ashley. we were detectives. when i was 11, a giant came to me and told me that i was a wizard. petronis sentosis! as your congressman, i will continue to fight for justice and equality and for the ufc, where i'm currently a seven-time world champion. george santos, for a better tomorrow today, tomorrow.
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i'm george santos, and i'm a cyborg sent from the future to kill sarah conner on behalf of skynet. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you've got my vote, that's for sure. donald trump jr. has been busy posting thoughtful videos from his house. this is his job now, i guess. and in his most recent video, i noticed something that -- well, take a look at this. >> we've seen the insanity of what's gone on the last few years and we're just here to call that out. >> jimmy: zoom in, if you can. he's got two empty frames on his shelf. [ laughter ] those are pictures of his friends. [ laughter and applause ] showing off all the fun times he had with dad when he was a kid. [ laughter ] those of you who watch the show regularly know that from time to time, we like to include my aunt chippy in the fun. we've pulled many a shenanigan on aunt chippy over the years, but somehow, we always manage to squeeze one more out.
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this time, we brought her to our studio under the false pretense that she'd be shooting a commercial. aunt chippy is a smoker. she loves cigarettes, so we came up with the perfect product to have her pitch. >> hello, everybody. >> so we're doing an integration. it's for gum that helps you quit smoking. they think you quit. >> okay. how long has it been? since i quit? >> what do you think? >> three years? >> three years, okay. this is our client, carrie. this is aunt chippy. >> hey. >> hi, carrie. >> how long have you been not smoking? >> oh, about three years. three -- three years. >> that's amazing, that's amazing. >> do you want me to read every single line of this? >> you're already changing the script and we haven't even started? let's play it as it's written, okay? >> can you zoom in on chippy real quick? >> you've been up since 3:00 in the morning, right? >> yes, i have been.
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>> can we get makeup? well, under the eyes. >> [ bleep ] put on before my [ bleep ] eyes fall out. >> chippy looks a little better, so let's get going. >> i look better than what? better than somebody who's dead? >> get to the kids' lines, okay? you ready? happy, happy. and -- action! >> my grandkids hated my smoking. they used to say things like -- >> grandma, your teeth are all yellow. >> grandma, cigarettes make you look bad. >> until i discovered cigarette gum. ♪ cig cig cig cigarette gum ♪ >> when i was young, smoking was cool. everybody did it. charlie chaplin, fatty arbuckle, babe ruth, ben franklin -- >> okay, what are some other really old people? >> i don't think you're going to get older than ben franklin, for crying out loud, you give me a break. babe ruth was bad enough. >> maybe we should move on to the next part, the breaking the cigarette. feel like she looked young enough? >> i feel like we can cut it together, probably. >> kids, i'm going to get you
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guys to leave for a few minutes. >> now this is my cigarette break. >> is her voice always like that? >> like she's still smoking? a little bit. see if you can become less gravelly when you talk. >> it doesn't go away because you stop smoking. >> smile! >> your ass is smiling. >> smile! >> that's all the teeth i got. >> smile! and action! >> now this is my cigarette break! aahhh! >> i really think you should take a bite. >> i ain't taking no bite out of the cigarette. >> take a bite. >> no, no, no. >> take a big bite and spit it on the ground. >> i'm breaking them but i'm not biting them. i'm not biting them. did you hear me? >> everybody heard you. >> i don't see why we have to waste all these cigarettes now. they'll do another break. hi! >> go. >> now this is -- >> whoa, whoa, whoa. you ready? i need to see them.
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i need -- brandish them like this, like that, then grab them, then break them. >> now this is my cigarette break! >> bite 'em! >> get over here, you. get some -- get the kids to do it. >> no, it's good, it's good, it's good -- >> i'm done. >> we're not done. >> i'm done. >> we have more stuff to do. >> i don't give a [ bleep ] what you've got to do. >> we need the gum part. >> let's get to the gum because i'm done. >> okay, that was good, that was good. we need to have you blow a bubble and sing a song -- >> i'm not blowing a bubble with this this gum. why do i have to do all these abnormal, crazy, [ bleep ] things? because i'm related to that moron or what? >> i don't know, i just -- i'm trying to get a funny thing made, are you ready? >> must be some other kind of gum, this gum does not blow bubbles. >> how about this, why don't we do it with a balloon? >> i'm done.
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>> hold on -- >> i'm done, i'm done. >> go ahead and sit here. say this. "introducing cigarette gum." then take some and move on to that line, okay? >> just say the frickin' word. >> i need you to smile. action! >> introducing cigarette gum. >> too sexy, too sexy. >> the last time i'm going to do it, i feel like a [ bleep ] saying that stupid line. >> okay. and action! >> cigarette gum. the best part is, since i quit smoking, men are starting to notice me again in a sexual way. [ laughter ] >> okay. i have a variation that we'll do after this one. >> we're not variating anything. variate your ass. i'm doing it one more time. i'm doing this -- i don't have to look sexy to chew gum. >> here's what i want to do. "thanks to cigarette gum, this is the only butt i'm going to be reaching for." i want you to grab -- >> what? >> -- a butt.
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>> [ bleep ], i ain't doing that. he's crazy, i ain't doing that stuff. >> no? >> no, that's not me. get somebody else to do it. >> but -- chippy -- >> i ain't grabbing nobody's butt. i wouldn't do that to anybody on television or anything else. >> what -- >> go call my nephews up and tell them. thanks to cigarette gum, this is the only butt i'll be reaching for. that's good. that's good. that's good. >> okay. so i want you to do it again -- >> i'm done! >> we're not done. >> i'm done, i'm going home. >> chippy -- [ laughter ] >> i'm leaving. ♪ cig cig cig cigarette gum ♪ >> i swear on the lives of all my children and grandchildren that i will never smoke another cigarette again or let the good lord jesus strike me dead right here and now. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ cig cig cig cigarette gum ♪
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>> jimmy: jesus strikes again. we have a great show for you tonight. from "swarm," dominique fishback is here, and we'll be right back with david letterman! this all-new ariya is an elegant ev. yeah, with 389 horsepower. ♪ and all-wheel drive. ♪ it's beautiful. it's a beast. it's electric. with an edge. oh, let's go with that. ♪ when moderate to severe ulcerative colitis keeps flaring, put it in check with rinvoq, a once-daily pill. when uc got unpredictable, i got rapid symptom relief with rinvoq. and left bathroom urgency behind. check.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. from the new amazon prime video show, "swarm," dominique fishback is with us. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, we'll be joined by andy samberg and lukas gage with music from raye. no one on television means more to me than our first guest and nobody hates hearing that more, either. he is a 40-foot-tall giant among men who joins two legendary musicians in ireland just in time for st. patrick's day. "bono and the edge: a sort of homecoming, with dave letterman" premieres friday on disney plus. please welcome david letterman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> wow. that was very, very nice. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. and james, thank you. and it's great to see your mother and father, that's the life. >> jimmy: my mother and father. my mother, when i was 16, for my birthday, she made me a "late night with david letterman" cake. >> yes, i think i've heard that story. that's where the trouble began. [ laughter ]
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so i'm walking into this fabulous -- is this the old tommy lasorda theater? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is, yes. >> it's beautiful. and on either side of the wall must be 100 photos of myself and you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> at first i thought, oh, well, that's -- that's very nice. i'm touched. and the more i saw it and the more i understood what was going on, i actually was sickened. [ laughter ] it just -- it just seemed like there's pathology at work here and it all started with the cake. >> jimmy: it all started with the cake, yep. i know how you love to see pictures of yourself, and i know how you love attention. >> it is very unpleasant. [ laughter ] but this facility is the nicest -- for example, the dressing room. i have never been in a dressing room that nice. if you were on any of my productions, the dressing rooms were all built as wpa projects. [ laughter ]
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after the depression. but i could live back there. >> jimmy: you're welcome to do that. [ laughter ] [ applause ] and by the way, you're totally right. the dressing rooms at the ed sullivan -- >> everybody i meet is a family member, so i would fit right in. [ laughter ] as you know, i've always thought of you as dave jr. >> jimmy: oh, boy. don't just say that. [ cheers and applause ] oh, every hair on my body is standing up right now. >> oh, i don't want to know that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i though you love hollywood -- >> i spent the day googling symptoms. >> jimmy: are you okay? >> according to the internet, i am. listen. >> jimmy: yeah? >> a good friend of mine, i think you know him, george miller. >> jimmy: yes. >> passed away, one of my very close friends. when i first came to california, george took me aside and he said, "dave, i want you to know something. in hollywood, oscar is king."
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and truer words have never been spoken. and so now you hosting the academy awards. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> for a third time. and this was a sensational moment for the country and the network and yourself. you know what this makes you, don't you? >> jimmy: no. >> you are the prince of hollywood. >> jimmy: wow. [ cheers and applause ] that's exciting. ♪ i mean, that's very kind of you to say. but i'm not giving up dave jr., i'm sticking with that. [ laughter ] >> here's how -- a lot of people ask me, "dave, how do you feel about --" here's how i feel about award shows generally. >> jimmy: okay, yeah, yeah. >> yeah, fine. but if i'm not going to win something, i don't -- really not that interested. [ laughter ] you know what i mean? >> jimmy: it makes sense, yes, it does make sense. >> now let's get into it. >> jimmy: sure. >> congratulations because you resurrected this carcass. [ laughter ] and the network and the academy
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ought to be very grateful. nice going. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i mean, it's undeserved, but i will take that. >> it's not undeserved. when i hosted it, and i don't know how long ago it's been, but it was such a bomb. the academy thought maybe it had been terrorists. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not true. >> it's absolutely true. >> jimmy: it is not true. >> so now "the cocaine bear." >> jimmy: okay, yeah. [ laughter ] >> here was one of my moments that i truly enjoyed. malala and the cocaine bear. [ laughter ] and you have to caution cocaine bear. cocaine bear, leave malala alone. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he was sniffing malala, yeah. >> he was sniffing malala. >> jimmy: he can't sniff malala, it's not nice. >> then i hear that, oh, let's wait and find out who is in the cocaine bear suit. then we find out, and i know for
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a fact that that's a lie -- i know it wasn't jazzy jeff. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was. >> no, it wasn't. >> jimmy: it was deejay jassy jeff. >> no, it wasn't. >> jimmy: did you see him? >> it could have been me, why wasn't it me? >> jimmy: it could have been you. >> it was me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it definitely could have been you. >> it was me. >> jimmy: you interviewed malala some time ago. i love watching your interviews. >> you're very kind, james, thank you. >> jimmy: i really do. and i love -- do you enjoy doing what we might call a serious interview more than you would, say, interviewing a richard simmons? [ laughter ] >> i want to tell you something. every interview i had with richard simmons was deadly serious. [ laughter and applause ] you know what it is, i just like talking to people. i find that i'm ignorant on most topics. as a result, i have great curiosity. and that's why i want to talk to you about your experience hosting the academy awards. >> jimmy: okay, sure, all right. >> and i know at a certain point in time you'll get tired of this.
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>> jimmy: okay. >> but like parties, did you go to parties afterward? >> jimmy: we did. we went to -- >> you say we, who is we? >> jimmy: my wife and i. we had the governor's ball, which is -- >> now that's not the governor of california? >> jimmy: not the governor of california. >> the governor of show business. >> jimmy: many people think it is the governor of california. the governing board of the academy. they have dinner next door. we went to that. we stayed for a while -- >> how was the chow? >> jimmy: i had a pot pie wolfgang puck made, and it was pretty good, i'll tell you that. >> let's see if everybody agrees with me. pot pie, without a doubt, 100% of the time, you burn the roof of your mouth. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i was good, i was okay. and then we went to -- my wife and i went to the olive garden afterwards. [ laughter ] we had ravioli alfredo over there. we headed right home. i had to work the next day, so there wasn't a lot of going out. >> you are -- good lord. the preparation for that show is endless. then you come right back and you
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do your nightly program. and this is not an easy show to do unless everybody in the audience is a family member. [ laughter ] then it's much easier. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm kind of the opposite, really. did you -- on the night after you hosted the oscars, did you go back to new york and do your show the next night? >> no, we got on a plane and flew back to new york, got on another plane and flew to london, preparing for a week of shows we were to do in london. >> jimmy: see, that's too much. >> yeah, it was too much. the whole thing was too much. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a lot. >> yeah. they had to shut down -- the show was so bad that the academy got together and they said, "we can never let this happen again!" so they shut down the film industry for one year. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they did? >> one year. >> jimmy: they shut the whole industry down? >> everything. >> jimmy: ruining the oscars that followed as well. >> that's right. did you have fun at the party? people must have been all over -- >> jimmy: no, no, it's terrible. it's a lot of people asking for my phone number, yeah.
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>> did meryl streep win something? >> jimmy: she did not. she wasn't nominated this year. >> oh, crap, was not nominated? >> jimmy: no. >> i thought she was winning even without the nomination. >> jimmy: sometimes they just toss one onto her lawn as they drive by. [ laughter ] >> you mean the academy awards van? >> jimmy: there is a van. >> "here's one for you." here's something that may be a little sensitive. >> jimmy: okay. >> tom cruise. >> jimmy: yeah. >> where was tom cruise? >> jimmy: we don't know where tom cruise was. we heard production issues, which usually -- >> what does that mean? >> jimmy: exactly. that's not -- it's very nonspecific. but we have no idea what happened. >> jimmy: tom cruise should have been there. >> well, yeah. >> jimmy: celebrating his big jet-packed "maverick" show. >> jimmy: "jet pack maverick," yeah. [ laughter and applause ] seems like he should have been there, but he was not there. like you were saying before, maybe he didn't feel he was going to win so he didn't want to come. >> yes, but between you and me, he should have been there, right?
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>> jimmy: yeah, of course, yeah. he's the prince of hollywood. >> but more to the power of your success, if mr. big shot is not there and still the show has never been more successful -- nice going, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you. [ cheers and applause ] david letterman is here. we'll be right back. if you think you, a child in your care, or another loved one were harmed by endo or a related company, including par or ams, or their products including ranitidine, transvaginal mesh, or opioids like opana®, opana® er, or percocet®, your rights may be affected by deadlines in the endo bankruptcy. you may be entitled to payment as part of endo's bankruptcy, but you must file a claim by july 7, 2023. you may file a claim on behalf of yourself, a child in your care
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(including a child exposed to opioids in the womb), or a deceased or disabled relative. also, if you hold a claim or interest in endo, the deadline to object to the potential sale of endo's assets is july 7, 2023. for more information visit endoclaims.com it's hard to run a business on your own. with shopify, you have everything you need to bring your dream business to life. because when we work together, the future is bright. start your journey with a free trial today.
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here we have the edge. >> yeah. >> bono. >> uh-huh. >> then we have adam. >> uh-huh. >> then we have larry. when you hear what their
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original village names were, you would understand why they didn't run with them. larry, he was known as the jam jar. >> the jam jar? >> adam was mrs. burns. >> the bass player is called mrs. burns. >> yeah. ♪ hey we've got spirit we've got soul ♪ ♪ my brothers and i are out of control ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is "bono and the edge: a sort of homecoming with dave letterman." it is on disney plus premiering friday, st. patrick's day. that's fun. maybe it isn't fun. it's hard to tell whether you have fun or not. do you have fun, did you have fun? >> it's work, and luckily, usually with this kind of work, you do have fun. i can't speak for you tonight, but i'm having fun. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: good, i'm glad. >> but i will say, having seen this -- it turned into a film. it's like an hour and a half long. and really, there's so much going on. but the best part is the music. and that's really the reason to enjoy this.
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>> jimmy: the music is great and the stories are great. and just you being in dublin where you'd never been before. >> never been to dublin. have you been to ireland? >> jimmy: i have not, no. i'd love to go, but i have not been. to be there with these guys, who are really special people, bono and the edge. >> let me tell you something. there's a lot of people in rock 'n' roll music. a lot of people writing rock 'n' roll music. the definition of rock 'n' roll music, pretty broad. it's along the horizon, it's endless. these guys are existing and performing and creating at a different level. and when you spend time with them, you get to appreciate that they're not just another song that you may be hearing somewhere. this is something different. and to me, that was a thrill and also intimidating. and bono and the edge, wildly smart guys. >> jimmy: very smart guys. >> yeah. you spent time with them? >> jimmy: we've had them here on the show, yeah. and i love them, i really do. i mean, this for me -- you and
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them is like -- it's as if you made this specifically for me, which i know you didn't. but one of the things that i felt just -- >> no, we did. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: great. was after the show, after the concert, you introduced -- in front of their hometown crowd, which is great, you guys go to a bar. a pub as they call them. and everybody is singing along in the pub. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: except for one. there was one person not singing. >> see if you can guess. i was so worried about this. i knew that you go to a pub, and everybody is full of guinness and sing along because you've got bono and the edge and then like a half a dozen really great, talented irish musicians performing in a way you're not going to hear them perform. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so sing along and a lot of this. and i just -- at one point i found myself with a camera, like about here. and i thought, oh [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] so i just started doing this. [ laughter and applause ]
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>> jimmy: do you ever sing along? >> no. it was something -- i can remember going to church with my parents. anybody go to church? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> a lot of it is hymns. i would fake singing. periodically a woman my mother's age, not my mother but a woman my mother's age, who should have known better and should have minded her own business, would say, "well, you're not singing at all, young man." then we would have to cut her tires. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> so yeah, doesn't come naturally. but god, what an experience that night was. >> jimmy: what about sitting there with bono and with edge and they've written a song for you? >> oh my god. >> jimmy: about you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: somewhat. although i read the lyrics. it doesn't seem to be about you,
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i'm going to be honest. >> thank you for being honest. >> jimmy: they're singing to you, and i can't imagine any situation -- >> has anyone ever written a song for you? >> jimmy: um -- no, no. >> nor i. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and we're in this place called the march library. it's, like, from the 16th century. and there is books the size of this chair. and it's huge. it's well regarded academically. and it's freezing. it was very, very cold in there. so the edge and bono, they come in. edge says, "i was up until 3:00 last night writing this song." and i thought, i'll be darned! hoping that that would be the end of it. [ laughter ] they start getting out sheet music and the band, everybody's got an arrangement, and now they're singing this song that the night before, they have created. and i'm thinking two things. oh [ bleep ], i hope this goes away. [ laughter ] and secondly i'm thinking, oh my god, this is not bad. so it turns out to be a real deal. and if you're going to have --
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and these guys aren't kidding around, writing songs. >> jimmy: do you think if you had people sing to you more, you would become more comfortable with it? >> yes, i do, jimmy. i'm going to pursue that. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i've got my guitar here. >> how are you when people sing to you? >> jimmy: hate it, don't like it at all. doesn't matter how nice it is or how beautiful it sounds, makes me want to crawl under the table. >> same with me. i don't like it when people sort of coerce you into, "everybody!" [ laughter ] i'm not everybody, no. no, thank you. >> jimmy: have you looked into this, why you're unable to enjoy moments like that? >> do i seem like i have any self-introspection? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes. >> no, i'm not -- i've not looked at anything, frankly. life's too short. >> jimmy: when you're here in hollywood, as we call it, do you get the urge to drive down the block to the comedy store where you worked for so long as a young man, where you did stand-up with your friends, get up on stage there, do a set? >> no, no.
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>> jimmy: no? not at all? >> i was never really a stand-up comedian. i did stand-up comedy because i knew to be on "the tonight show," which was my reason for leaving indiana, was -- you had to do some stand-up comedy. because they're not going to put you on, "hey, i understand this kid just moved from indiana, here he is!" [ laughter ] so that's all i could do. when i would go on the road -- did you -- you've done, have not done? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i found that every afternoon you'd be in any town, any college town in the united states -- i remember one time, they'd always send a guy, the president of the student body, to pick you up at the airport. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> so you fly all night. you're half grogged. get off the plane. the guy picks you up. he wants to talk. and i don't want to talk. and i'm in the back seat. and i look in the rear-view mirror and i see the guy driving. yeah, because he's been up drinking all night. and he gets to go pick up
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[ bleep ]. [ laughter ] sorry, mom! so i asked him to pull over, and i had to drive myself from the airport to the gig. so a little of that goes a long way. >> jimmy: well, it is a thrill to have you here. >> listen, thank you very much. i know -- i had to ask to be on the show. >> jimmy: that's not true. >> and that's impolite. >> jimmy: no, it's not. >> and this man in his lifetime, in his career that i've known him, has been so kind to me. and the people who work with him are equally kind, if not perhaps a little more. [ laughter ] and i love being on tv, so -- thank you very much. >> jimmy: you're welcome every single night, dave. [ cheers and applause ] dave letterman, everybody. "bono and the edge: a sort of homecoming, with dave letterman" premieres friday, st. patrick's day, on disney plus. we'll be back with dominique fishback. even when i was with the people i love,
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>> lou: it's time for "jimmy kimmel live's" "who's been struck by lightning?" the odds of being struck by lightning in a given year are less than 1 in 1 million. which of these people is that unlucky? >> sitting on my couch, boom, the lightning hits me. in my chest, out my head. i'm blind. i find my phone, call the police. i'm like, "my house blew up!" they're like, "what?" took me to the hospital, cut my shirt off, see the burns, code blue, they realize i was hit. they actually high five each other, "yes, first code blue!" get taken to another room, the cops showed up, they go, "from all the blood we thought you were dead." so of course i get struck like a freak, not like a normal person. >> lou: boom! that's gotta hurt. thanks, paul.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back to the show. our next guest is an actor,
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writer, and poet with a new series from donald glover about a murderous superfan. it's called "swarm." >> i think cody blaze is better than magic. >> i don't know. >> then why did you say she could die? >> what? >> you said she could die tomorrow and you wouldn't miss one song. laughing emoji. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all episodes of "swarm" come out on amazon prime video friday. please welcome dominique fishback! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you just reminded me, last time we did an interview was on zoom. you weren't in person. >> no, we weren't. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. >> good to be here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm doing well. so excited. >> jimmy: where do you live? >> i live here now, but i'm from brooklyn, east new york. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: you moved here when?
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>> i moved here the end of 2021. >> jimmy: do you like it here? >> um -- i can't really say, because i actually don't know how to drive. so i know that l.a. is a big place where you have to drive. >> jimmy: you don't know how to drive, you've never driven a car? >> i mean, i did, but i crashed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did? you had one try? >> when i'm nervous -- my mom was teaching me how to drive. i was doing pretty well the first five days. i had to make a u-turn. she said, "you're going to crash into the johnny pump." the fire hydrant to non-new yorkers. >> jimmy: a it's a brooklyn thing. >> i said, no, i'm not. she said, you are. i said, fine. stepped on the gas instead of the brake. >> jimmy: and you hit the johnny pump? >> i hit the johnny pump. >> jimmy: did water shoot up into the sky? >> no, it wasn't that eventful. i'd just done a deuce, so i did have money to cover my mom's car. that would have been bad. >> jimmy: the johnny pump was on its own, i'm guessing? >> yeah, it didn't get any damage. >> jimmy: are you going to learn now? will you go to one of those services that has the sign on, "student driver"?
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[ laughter ] that would be funny. >> i actually did that during "swarm." only had one lesson but it did say "student driver." but i didn't get my license. >> jimmy: you didn't get the license. >> maybe you could teach me. >> jimmy: i'd be happy to teach you to drive, yeah. go to a parking lot somewhere and we'll run over some carts, i don't know. [ laughter ] you were at that "vanity fair" oscar party. >> i was. >> jimmy: i know this because i saw this incredible photograph. was this your first time? >> my second time. oh, wow. [ cheers and applause ] this is a photograph. tell us how this happened. i'm blocking russell wilson, hold on. there we go. >> honestly, i feel like it was a team effort. >> jimmy: you do? how was it a team effort? >> well, i was in one part of the party, daniel brooks was like, "dominique, come this way, we're doing a picture." i went the other way, "you've got to come this way." it was getting everybody together, wrangling the black actors.
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>> jimmy: who in this room were you most excited to meet that you hadn't? >> i mean, i've met a good amount of those people, so i felt fortunate. i got to hang out with jonathan majors a little bit. >> jimmy: he's a good guy, jonathan majors. >> it was cool. a deaf person came to talk to him about his performance in "creed." i had been learning sign language in college. that was a couple of years ago. i didn't know how much i remembered but he didn't know. so i ended up interpreting for him. >> jimmy: wow. that's kind of great. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i love sign language. sign language, so cool. >> jimmy: i like that you know sign language but you don't know how to drive. [ laughter ] >> i got my priorities in order. >> jimmy: you do. you learned in college? was it a class that you took? >> yeah, it was a class. i also ended up googling "free asl classes in new york city." i found a mormon church on 14th street in new york. and they do free lessons on tuesdays. so i just went there. >> jimmy: and you had fun at the party? >> yeah, i had a lot of fun. >> jimmy: yeah. this movie, is it -- you play basically -- explain basically the idea. this tv show, rather, not movie.
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>> the show is about this girl who -- i like to say she's full of a lot of love and a lot of grief and she doesn't know quite how to differentiate between the two. so sometimes you get muddled with her and she reacts in ways that are unacceptable. >> jimmy: unacceptable, very unacceptable, i think you'd even go so far as to say, yes? >> criminal, yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she sees -- i don't want to spoil anything. she sees when people post unpleasant things about a performer that she loves. >> yes. >> jimmy: she -- >> she pulls up. >> jimmy: she kills them. she pulls up. >> i call it, you know -- back in the day they used to say, when somebody said something bad you had to meet them in the parking lot? now social media, you can't really meet anybody in the parking lot, but dre, she's the pull-up queen. you say something on social media, she will find you. >> jimmy: she will find you. >> yes. >> jimmy: do you enjoy playing a killer? that's got to be a fun thing, right? >> do i enjoy playing a killer? no, i don't enjoy playing a
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killer, but i enjoyed the versatility that i got to show. a lot of times i play characters that are, like easy to love. i wanted to challenge myself as an actor. i told donald, i never want to catch up to my own self, i never want to know what i'm doing next. i'm glad to have the opportunity to play this character. >> jimmy: not that you would ever kill anybody, but is there a celebrity that you'd be most inclined to murder for? [ laughter ] >> to murder for? no. >> jimmy: no? >> but -- >> jimmy: if there was one, who would it be? >> none. >> jimmy: none, okay. [ laughter ] did you meet dave or no? >> i didn't. >> jimmy: you were probably too young to have ever watched his show. >> i feel like i saw clips. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: would you kill for dave? >> would you? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] dominique fishback, everybody! "swarm" premieres friday on amazon prime video. we'll be right back!
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>> jimmy: thanks to dominique fishback, nelson franklin, and david letterman. apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next. thank you for watching. goodnight.
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♪ this is "nightline." >> byron: tonight, where monsters hide. inside a love triangle gone horribly wrong. >> what happened to chris? >> who killed the lover? was it the wife or the jealous husband? >> then he goes on to talking about being a hunter and how the hunter hunts the prey and feels this tingle through their body. >> byron: an alleged murder night wedding pact. >> your agreement from the time you were married was that you have the affair, it's your responsibility to kill off that person. >> byron: your exclusive interview with the convicted

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