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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 4, 2023 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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dan: if you're looking for one final night dime read, a new trend that could be the future of this holiday. those drone shows instead of risky fireworks. how fast is the idea spreading around the country? it's not just fire danger that these drones help avoid. interesting. one of the top things people are clicking on on our website. dion: dan: for all of us, we appreciate your time. dion: have a great nigh >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- danny and lucy devito, travis bennett, and music from baby no money. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. thanks. all right. thanks. hi, everybody. i'm jimmy. thank you for watching following the very big monday night football play-off game here on abc. remember when we used to have football every monday night? remember when we used to have ballroom dancing every monday night? i guess you win some, you lose some. it was a marquee matchup. the dallas cowboys versus the tampa bay buccaneers. we tape this show before they play the game, so by the time you're watching this, you'll already know if tom brady's divorce was worth it or not. it was a wild, wild card weekend. the giants won their first playoff game since they won the super bowl in 2012. they upset the vikings in minnesota. and while it was a tough game
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for vikings fans, the team had a great season and one fan in particular did something very nice. he took time to thank nfl commissioner roger goodell as he exited the field. >> hey roger! roger! [ bleep ] you! [ bleep ] you, roger! yeah, you know you're a bitch! >> jimmy: i don't know what that was, but it wasn't neighborly. there were some great games this weekend. the bengals recovered a fumble at the two-yard line and ran it back 98 yards to beat the ravens. the jaguars came back to beat the chargers after being down 27 points. after that game, the quarterback for the jaguars, trevor lawrence celebrated with a trip to the waffle house. >> yeah! [ cheering ] >> way to go, way to go! >> jimmy: by the way, if you found a long blonde hair in your
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pancakes sunday morning, that's where it's from. trevor, you just led your team to a shocking come-from-behind victory in the wild card round, what're you going to do? i'm going to the waffle house! [ laughter ] today as you know is the day on which we celebrate the legacy of a great american, dr. martin luther king jr. martin luther king day. [ applause ] president biden gave the keynote speech at an mlk day breakfast in washington this morning where his eggs got scrambled and the old amtrak went a little off the rails. >> congratulations today, the honorees, including your wife, who i understand has a birthday today? well, look, my wife has a rule in her family. when it's somebody's birthday, sing happy birthday. you ready? ♪ happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ happy birthday dear -- happy birthday to you ♪
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>> jimmy: oh, val -- was really touched. joe biden is the "finding dory" of presidents. over the weekend, five more classified documents were found at the president's home in delaware along with nine thousand stolen packets of sweet and low. that brings the number of documents biden had laying around up to around two dozen. and of course, even though he himself withheld more than 300 classified documents that he refused to return, trump weighed in bigley on this. he wrote "the white house just announced there are no logs or information of any kind on visitors to the wilmington house, and flimsy, unlocked and unsecured but now very famous garage. maybe they are smarter than we think! this is one of seemingly many places where highly classified
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documents are stored. in a big pile on the damn floor. mar-a-lago is a highly secured facility, with security cameras all over the place, and watched over by staff and our great secret service. i have info on everyone!" sure. you had 300 top secret documents in your bra closet behind a ranch dressing fountain. of course you have info on everyone. you had info on everyone except for when kanye brought that white supremacist over for dinner. then you had no info at all. republicans are outraged. they say they want biden treated the same way they treated trump. but they still don't want trump treated the way they treated trump. it's very complicated. the big question is why are these documents even allowed out of the white house at all? >> i like to drive. i used to think i was a pretty good driver. >> jimmy: you see? that's why you put the top up! [ cheering and applause ] what a mess. oh, cheers and full-throated huzzahs are in order for prince harry, whose memoir just broke the guinness record for
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fastest-selling non-fiction book of all time. the story of prince harold and his frozen yogurt slinger is so popular, they're releasing a version for kids. a twist on the princess and the pea called "the prince and the pe-nis." and if the kids are still up, this would be a good time to gather them around the tv, because i have the honor of sharing a first read of the new book. well, here we go. the prince and the mean news. at the chilly north pole, a silly young codger took a walk in the snow, and froze his wee todger. the skin was discolored, all purple and white. when harry peered down, twas a terrible fright! oh mummy, oh mummy! he cried with a scream. and from then on up high, she appeared with some cream. my poor little prince, put this cream on your willy. it will lessen the ache and make it less chilly. but mummy, did you not put this on your lips?
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oh yes, my dear boy, and also my nips. but do not delay or your knob be destroyed. but mummy, have you heard about sir sigmund freud? mummy knelt down and gave him a squirt. into the trousers, where his winkle still hurt. and lo and behold, like the calm from a storm, his frozen cold snotstick was suddenly warm. he laughed and he smiled, and he said to his mummy, "you rescued the snake that lives under my tummy!" then he tucked it back in and back to her cloud, his mother went soaring and said this aloud, "should ever you have icy chills on your hard-on." just give it a rub with elizabeth arden! and everyone lived happily ever after. [ applause ] you know, less than two months after his divorce from kim kardashian kanye west has reportedly married a woman named
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bianca censori, an australian who serves as head of architecture for his yeezy clothing brand. they are registered at bed, bath and ye-yond. [ laughter ] if you want to get them anything. there are a lot of questions about this like "what the hell is she thinking?" and why does a clothing brand with no stores need an architect? but we don't know. we do know they were married in a very small, very simple ceremony. i'm guessing they skipped the "if anyone has any reason why these two should not be wed" part. you know, kanye is very religious now. he doesn't believe in having sex before marriage, so he meets one good-looking woman, immediately he has to get married. he can't contain himself. but on behalf of everyone in hollywood, mazel tov to bianc-ye or kan-ca, whatever they're going to be calling them. we have a new miss universe and she is from texas. miss usa bonny gabriel was named miss universe over the weekend. i don't know if you watched this, it was on roku, so i'm
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guessing not, but it was some pageant. they have a costume portion of the show. they put the women in outfits that are supposed to represent their native land and they made up little rhymes to go along with them. >> it's okay to brag when you've got a great flag like paraguay. >> we think it's dope to be a large soap like puerto rico. >> don't you wish you were half fish like brazil. >> jimmy: i didn't think it was possible to make the miss universe pageant dumber, but somehow they did! >> she preferred to be a recycled bird, costa rica! you don't need a sash to walk around dressed as cash like el salvador. this resurgent lizard is a bit of a wizard, caymen islands. >> jimmy: imagine you have this beautiful country, the cayman islands, you're watching your
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miss candidate on television and the best thing they can come up with is "this lizard is a bit of a wizard"? and they didn't do much better with us. >> pretty soon she'll be on the moon, miss usa. >> jimmy: what? we're sending this woman to the moon? not in that outfit, they aren't. i hate to say it, but the miss universe pageant made more sense under trump. covid is making a comeback. the critics choice awards were slightly less star-studded than because several nominees got covid at the golden globes last week. among the stars who tested positive and unable to attend, colin farrell, brendan gleeson, michelle pfeiffer, and jamie lee curtis. jean smart from "hacks," which is the title of her show and also what she's doing right now. i guess the silver lining of getting covid at the globes is they'll have immunity for the oscars. you have to time your viruses strategically during awards
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season. fortunately, the new variants did not affect our star-studded project. the nextdoor app is an app, i'm not sure you use this, but this is an app i use which tells you which neighbors you should avoid at all costs. it's mostly somebody took a bucket off my porch and stolen catalytic converters. but occasionally, there are interesting storylines. recently, there was an ongoing back and forth about a lizard that climbed through a mail slot. and the story turned out to be so epic, we recruited some of the finest actors in hollywood to dramatize these real exchanges between nextdoor app users in an all new edition of "nextdoor theater." >> the following presentation is a dramatic reenactment of an actual discussion between neighbors on the nextdoor app. this is a true story. >> help, my roommate opened the mail slot and a rather large lizard dropped in. i picked it up on to the pooper
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scooper, but it jumped out before i could take it outside. now it is missing in the house, maybe still in my roommate's bedroom, but she is so freaked out. any ideas? >> don't kill it. they're beneficial. they eat insects. >> i have no plans to kill it, but my roommate does not want to sleep with it. the idea of it running across her face while asleep scares her. >> sandy, lizards are way smarter than that. just tell your roommate that the lizard is good luck. >> aghh! aghh! >> they like dry cat food. maybe lure it out of the bedroom with that, and some water in a saucer. >> i love lizards. i used to have one and wear it on my shoulder when i went to the store. >> if it's an alligator lizard, it can bite down pretty hard on your finger when you try to pick it up. caught a large one one time by dangling a large steak in front of it. it wouldn't let go. i got to walk around with a
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lizard for quite a while. >> well, anything will bite you if you put your finger in its mouth. ooh! >> it can't even leave a mark if it tried to bite you with its teensy mouth. >> tell your roommate that those type of lizards like to crawl into warm beds during the night. >> gary, that's mean! >> gary, mean! lol. >> open the door and walk around banging the floor with a broomstick, like that. nah! >> you're not going to like this. you probably will not see it again until you smell it first. sorry. >> i had a lizard come hang with me. it was one of the most amazing things in my life. >> lizards love to be talked to in a tender voice. they are so loving.
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i'm so happy you had a great experience with a lizard. >> yes! they are the sweetest little people. i am so grateful she trusted us the way she did. >> they are precious little beings. shut up! >> you want me to come capture it? >> thanks to all. we can totally catch him and take him outside, but can't find him. i suppose he will show up sooner or later. we would just like it to be sooner. [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. thank you. who says theater is dead? we have a good show for you tonight. from the movie "you people," travis bennett is here. we've got music from baby no money. and we'll be right back with money. and we'll be right back with danny and lucy devito.
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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight from the new movie "you people," travis bennett is with us. then later, a rapper and singer from canada who has more than a billion streams.
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this is his album called "bag or die." baby no money from the mercedes eq stage. this week, we have new shows with jennifer lopez will be here, jane fonda, sally field, lily tomlin, rita moreno, and rob lowe, with music from seal and fall out boy too. so please join us for all of that. our first guest is a dynamo in every way, an actor, director, taxi dispatcher and penguin, with a new animated show with his daughter lucy called "little demon." all episodes are on hulu now. please welcome danny devito. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> thank you. >> jimmy: how you doing? great to see you. >> excellent to be here. >> jimmy: it's great to have you. are you like a rock 'n roll guy? i notice you really seem to be feeling the music. >> the do whop basically is a bass, but i do like rock 'n roll. i'm into hendrix and bruce. we lost jeff beck this week. >> jimmy: yeah, one of the greats, maybe the greatest guitar player. >> you know, i dabble in it all. very eclectic in my -- the music i like. >> jimmy: you were in vegas this weekend, right? >> i was. >> jimmy: did you see any music there? >> i didn't see music. i saw david blaine. >> jimmy: oh, magic. you saw magic. >> i love magic. i always did when i was a kid. i never could do it. i always tried wit the little thing, the ball that gets stuck in your hand. you don't know where it is.
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this and that, and the coin that never worked that bent. this guy is like -- i'm talking magic. he first of all dazzles -- i think he does these crazy like daredevil things too. >> jimmy: he does sometimes, yeah. >> that's the first thing he gets you with. he goes up like i don't know how many hundreds of feet in the air. and he jumped. you know, he jumps off into a cardboard box. a bunch of cardboard boxes like whoa. is there going to be a show? we don't know. >> jimmy: in vegas? >> in vegas. it was great. >> jimmy: when he was a kid -- you know, i know david a little bit. when he was a kid, his parents used to lock him in the aquarium. they would put him in the aquarium and seal it up, and it was his job to get out. >> i think i saw that one. when he was older, wasn't he in times square, buried in times square. then he did the one frozen in
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ice. >> jimmy: frozen. crazy stuff. >> man, he's -- >> jimmy: did he do anything weird to you? >> well, he did something that, you know, first of all, he scared the [ bleep ] out of me. >> jimmy: how did he do that? >> he takes a $100 bill, my 100. actually, it was my son's $100 bill. and he takes it and rips a corner off, you know the way they do. then he takes the bill that is right here in front of us, and he says i'm going to get rid of it. it's got the little corner. and he lights it on fire. and it burns up right in front of you. and he puts the ashes in a bowl, a cup. and then he takes water and sticks it in with the ashes. and he stirs it up. and he drinks it. that's what i said! [ laughter ] i said, what are you doing? and he's going like, this making faces and everything. and he goes "oh, i have an assistant for this trick."
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and i don't know what the hell he is going to do. and he goes caw caw, and a black crow flies from the wings somewhere and lands right in front of me. it was like this prehistoric bird. i didn't know what the hell is going on. in his mouth, the crow's mouth was a folded up $100 bill that matched the serial number corner of our -- that we had that he burned up. >> jimmy: that's crazy. >> come on. >> jimmy: that's great. that's good stuff. it's fun. >> well, yeah. it was -- i really, really enjoyed the show. if you get the vegas, you got to see this. >> jimmy: yeah, he is great. >> he is terrific. >> jimmy: speaking of great, your old pal and former co-star judd hirsh was here. >> i love judd. >> jimmy: we got to talk to him. he is in "the fabelmans." he is doing great. he was talking a little bit
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about these parties, when you were on "taxi" together that you guys knew each other before "taxi." he said he played a dog in a play you were in together. >> in 1968 or '9, we did a play. in philadelphia at -- i'm not sure the name of the play. but it was called "the line of least existence." >> jimmy: okay. >> and he played a doctor who was giving this young woman pills and having his way with her, and cheating on his wife. i played -- >> jimmy: dr. cosby? [ laughter ] you did say philadelphia? [ applause ] >> you owe me for that one. >> jimmy: hold on, here comes the crow! >> and i play her dog. right.
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i got a collar around my neck. it's a musical. >> jimmy: a musical? >> yeah. i play her dog that when he's going off in the day with this young girl, she and i are getting it on. >> jimmy: what? >> that's right. crazy, right? it's crazy. >> jimmy: this is not a sondheim type musical. >> no. so judd, he's got -- we had such a ball. it was, you know, it was like very energetic and really great. we had some of the mothers of invention were playing from. >> jimmy: from frank zappa's band? >> yeah. like don preston was there playing piano. we had drums. a really serious show. i had a song. ♪ i'm no mutt in a rut, i've had a few flings in my day ♪
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♪ it's not slut if some smut wants to ♪ no. ♪ it's not smut if some slut wants to throw some affection my way ♪ [ applause ] [ laughter ] ♪ i'm always at the ready for whatever comes into your heady ♪ ♪ i can take the place of tom already ♪ that's it! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, danny, when we come back, your daughter, unless she left, which is possible. >> she probably did. "what is he doing out there?" >> jimmy: we're going dig very deep into danny devito as his daughter lucy devito joins us. right after this, we'll be right back.
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welcome once again to the number one game show in all the realms. the only show that killing is legally required. the realm of realms! presented by roach automobiles. >> what did you get us into? >> you wanted this. >> no, like lunch or something, not kill or be killed. >> chill out. we're not going to bond over a sandwich. trust me on this one. >> jimmy: that's danny devito and lucy devito in "little demon," which you can see on hulu. hi, how are you? >> hi, how you? >> jimmy: thank you for coming. >> i brought you a gift. >> jimmy: oh, what is that? >> it's a pee pee poo poo hat.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you. i'll treasure this. >> it's a catch phrase from our show. >> jimmy: yes, yes. your show is, first of all, very funny. >> thank you. >> jimmy: as danny was saying during commercials, very out there, though no more out there than a dog who has sex with a woman. >> or a guy that comes out of a couch naked. >> jimmy: or a guy, yes, yes. danny's character is satan. you're his daughter who is the anti-christ. >> yeah. >> jimmy: whoa, what a dream. >> yeah. >> jimmy: for a parent. >> it's a dream come true. >> we've been working all of our lives for this moment, yes. >> jimmy: you've been on a bunch. i know you're on "always sunny." you've been on a bunch of shows before. [ applause ] "girls" you were on right? >> yes, "girls," "marvelous mrs. maisel," "a show called "deadbeat." >> jimmy: you made an appearance on television, maybe the earliest anyone has ever made on television on "cheers" in the
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first season. >> that is me. >> jimmy: that's you right there. that is pretty fantastic. >> yeah. i grew up on the paramount lot, which was pretty amazing. >> jimmy: "taxi" and "cheers" were both on the paramount lap. overlap at all? >> we did, we overlapped the last year. so we had stage 24 and 25, "cheers" and "taxi." >> there was a day care there. and my mom had -- the show is 11 years. my sister was born. my brother was born. we were all there for, you know, the beginning of our lives. and we had a dressing room that we got to paint. >> jimmy: you remember it? >> yeah, of course. i remember going to the "cheers" set. we would just sit around and have a club soda on the stage. >> jimmy: what was the best like fringe benefit to having danny devito and rhea perlman as your parents?
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>> you know, i mean, we -- we got to do a lot of things -- i was very privileged. i heard you talking about las vegas. >> jimmy: yes. i grew up in las vegas in fact. >> yeah, well, my dad took me and my sister gracie to las vegas to see siegfried and roy when i was 8. >> jimmy: another magic show. >> i was 10. my sister was 8, you know, little girls who really wanted to see the tigers, very exciting. dad being the best dad, taking us, you know, it was very cute. but we were there for -- booked for two nights. so you don't know what to do for the second night. it was like, yeah, no, i have no plan on that. so he ended up taking us to a mermaid show because we were like oh, yeah, this is so exciting. we love mermaids. "little mermaid." it's going to be great. "splash," we love daryl hannah. mermaids are so pretty. so we get into this vegas showroom.
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we're in a banquette, and it's around the time when he's doing the penguin, so there's a lot of people -- a lot of eyes on us. everyone knows. and the lights go down, and mermaids come out dressed in nothing. [ laughter ] and it was the raciest mermaid show an 8 and 10-year-old could have ever seen. >> jimmy: i've seen that show. it's called "splash." cleto and i went to go see it. [ applause ] >> and the worst part -- >> jimmy: for that very reason. >> so the worst part was, you know, we're 8, 10 with our dad. we're so embarrassed, like this. and because he is so -- everyone knows who he was, the people in the show were so excited for him to be there. they like broke in the middle and an announcer came out and a spotlight came. [ laughter ] and it was like, "welcome danny
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devito and his two daughters!" [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you're lucky you weren't arrested, danny. >> there is a picture somewhere. >> yeah, there is. i don't know where it is. >> jimmy: you guys are going to be doing something on broadway together, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what are you doing? can you say? is it a secret? have you announced it? >> we haven't announced it yet, but i think we're going to go to new york and do something. >> jimmy: that will be fun. [ cheers and applause ] and also, they're going to be running a marathon. >> yeah. >> jimmy: on fxx of "little demon" is it thursday? >> thursday. >> jimmy: thursday there is a marathon starting at 9:00. it will run all the episodes in a row. and you know what they say, if you watch all ten episodes in a row, you'll become possessed by the devil himself. [ laughter ] that's a pretty good devil to be possessed by. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, this is fun. you guys are doing so much stuff together. what could be better than that. >> it's the best. so much fun. >> jimmy: danny and lucy devito,
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everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "little demon." it's on hulu now. we'll be right back with travis bennett. my name is jorge gaviria, and this is my business, masienda. we bring heirloom corn products from mexico to every kitchen. i chose my spark cash plus card from capital one because i earn unlimited 2% cash back on everything i buy. with no preset spending limit, my purchasing power adapts to meet my business needs. and i reinvest my 2% cash back to help grow our business with new products, like our tabletop masa mill. my spark card helps me fulfill my mission of bringing masa to the masses. what's in your wallet? who says you can't get everything you want? like going for bold without going broke... and staying true to your taste while staying on budget. who says rising costs means lowering the bar? settling? no need. get the brands you want,
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>> jimmy: music from baby no money is on the way. our next guest is a gifted young performer who plays one of the people in the new comedy "you people" alongside eddie murphy, julia louis-dreyfus and jonah hill. it opens in theaters friday and on netflix january 27th. please welcome travis bennett. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: the movie is very funny, and you are very funny in the movie. by the way, didn't you know it's bring your parent to work day? >> oh, they didn't tell me. >> jimmy: they didn't tell you. >> you know, bringing your parent to work, my first day of shooting "you people" is with eddie, and my mom showed up. >> jimmy: what do you mean "showed up?" >> we were shooting at a casino in palm springs at pechanga. >> jimmy: okay. >> my mom has a friend on set who knows every detail. oh, i happen to be in palm springs at the same time. so interesting. you're shooting today. i'm like, whatever, i didn't think of it. i'm walking with eddie murphy. this is like "coming to america," donkey from "shrek," everything you love. i'm walking in. i hear "travis, travis, travis!" he's like, "do you know those people?" i look. i see my mother and two of her friends. immediately just like, wahh! "they're just fans of the show,
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no big deal, don't worry about it." i continued to act like i didn't know her. by the way, i love my mom, obviously. i'm not like a crazy person. but she embarrassed me a little bit in that moment. >> jimmy: does she do that? does she get overly excited about your career? >> you know, i think she gets -- a lot of times i meet people, i met your mom recently. oh, really, what do you do for a living? i work at cheesecake factory. how did you meet her? i asked her if she wanted flat or still and she told me she was your mother. >> jimmy: how did this come up? >> like "my son travis bennett is on the show dave, also on you people." >> jimmy: the answer is usually "no, they asked me." yeah, like how? how did they ask you? >> meanwhile, my dad is like the complete opposite. he is like somebody showed up to the house the other day, my parents' house. does travis bennett live here? he's like, i have no idea who you're talking about. he looks just like me. so he is like a blatant liar. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: probably safer that way.
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so your movie father is eddie murphy, as you mentioned. >> yes. >> jimmy: which obviously is a big deal. i mean to you, he is the donkey from "shrek." but to me he is a whole other range of characters before that. is that intimidating still, even though you're young? >> no matter what you do, you're working with eddie murphy. it's like your dream, your hero. and you can't hold it in. but i try my best to break the tension. i feel like everybody else was super, "mr. murphy, mr. murphy!" i was like," what do you do for fun, dude? you're old." he's like," man, i sit at home, watch youtube." i was why? when i was your age, we didn't have the opportunity to see anything we wanted to. so i guess. i also watch this random show. you ever hear of "masked singer"? sure, i've heard of it. he's like, yeah, every once in a while, if somebody's around, i act like i lost the remote. "we found the remote." "no, no, let me find out who this frog is first."
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>> jimmy: you broke through. >> i broke through. every once in a while he would come over, good job, good job. >> jimmy: that's nice. >> not wash my hands. >> jimmy: that's nice. do you think you'll carry on a relationship with him beyond this film? >> i don't think he remembers my name. [ laughter ] i think he is just like -- he always calls me the movie character name, omar. why that's my name. >> jimmy: you'll take it. >> omar murphy, guys. >> jimmy: maybe if you made a youtube video, reintroducing yourself, he might come across it, you know? this is some cast. really an all-star cast. >> i don't know how i made it. >> jimmy: eddie is obviously a legend. rarely does anything at all. but you got jonah hill. you got julia louis-dreyfus. you've got dave duchovny is in the movie, mike epps. >> everyone i grew up watching is in this movie. and i as a young actor with slight experience, it's nerve-racking, but you lean into the nervousness and treat it like excitement and understand this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and just take it.
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>> jimmy: explain the idea of the movie, because it's very funny. >> okay, so jonah is a jewish kid from l.a., and lauren plays a muslim girl from l.a. and as you can expect, if them two met and decided to go on dates, it would be very awkward and interesting, especially for the families to meet. so there is just a lot of interracial, interfaith conversations that are hard to have, but i think because we do it with humor, it makes it a little lighter. it's like if the u.n. had meetings and had a stand-up comedian, it would be a lot easier to do with anything. [ laughter ] before you go to war, just send dave chappelle out there and see what happens. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: and that jonah hill plays a very real, like a character that i feel like we all know, right? this jewish guy who is really into sneakers and hip-hop and all that kind of stuff. >> i'm also on a show with little dicky, yes. >> jimmy: yes, you know this, that's right, yeah. also, your friend --
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forgive me if i have this wrong. i love this story about how i heard how you met this person. kendall jenner is one of your close friends. >> my twin, yes. >> jimmy: explain how you met kendall jenner. >> i was 18 years old and i put on twitter, i want to meet kendall jenner for my birthday. and my girl named julia, very random, was good friends with kenny and introduced us. >> jimmy: kenny, i like it. [ laughter ] >> and she introduced us, and we've been friends ever since. and now she like one of the boys. >> jimmy: you posted on twitter you wanted to meet her and your wish came true. >> i also did it for this show, and look where i'm at. [ laughter ] yep [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: miraculous. she used to live across the street from me. >> i was going to say your address. >> jimmy: yeah, don't mention it. but yeah, and then you guys would have parties and stuff like that. >> yeah, there was a few parties there. i fell asleep in her driveway one time, and they woke me up to go eat at mel's diner. i don't know if you have ever been there. >> jimmy: hold on. let me backtrack for one second.
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you fell asleep in her driveway, like what, you had a pillow and a blanket? >> i wish i did. all concrete. i -- yeah, i was wasted. >> jimmy: you were unconscious. >> i was on my best friend's 21st birthday party. i will drink for us. [ laughter ] i drank for us, and i went to sleep for me. and i woke up and i went to mel's diner and went to go eat, but they told me i was too drunk to come inside. >> jimmy: oh, really? what? [ laughter ] this mel's diner across the street? >> exactly what i was thinking. just like, why? >> jimmy: everyone's too drunk to come inside there. [ laughter ] >> the people who work there are too drunk. so i proceeded to just talk my way in and be, dude, come on, come on, it's me, man, it's me. and this guy was like, dude, if you touch me, i'm going knock you out. yeah, right, dude. so i slapped him in the chest. he hit me. didn't knock me out, though. [ laughter ] the face really took it. that's the first time. i was 22 at the time.
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i make a lot of good jokes. i make fun of a lot of people. >> jimmy: he didn't realize you had been unconscious earlier in the evening and had already been knocked out. >> exactly. >> jimmy: can't knock out somebody that's already knocked out. what were you saying? >> he punched me in the face. usually when you get punched your reaction was to hit them back. but he was large and i was this size. and so i proceeded to just put my hands on my face and go "ow ow ow!" and i walked away. and the cops came. it was a whole thing. the cops came. what happened? i lost a fight. can i go home? yeah, you should go home, man. [ laughter ] you need to lay down. i was like, please. >> jimmy: well, congratulations on, well, getting punched in the face at mel's. >> 100%. >> jimmy: and all your success. the movie is super funny. it's called "you people." it opens in theaters friday and on netflix january 27th. travis bennett, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with baby no money.
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>> jimmy: thanks to danny and lucy devito, travis bennett. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, the album is called "bag or die," the songs are "edamame" and "lalala."
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with help from tim henson of polyphia, baby no money! [ cheering and applause ] >> hello, everybody, tonight in class we're going to learn how to play la la la. and it goes a little like this. did i really just forget that melody? ♪ that's it. ♪ na na na na na na ♪ ♪ when i popped off then your girl gave me just a little bit of lockjaw ♪ ♪ baby so cold he from the north he from the canada ♪ ♪ bankroll so low i got nothing else that i can withdraw ♪ ♪ ran out the door i shine my wrist ♪ ♪ it go like shashasha shashasha i got your singing lalalala lalala ♪ ♪ i shine my wrist it go like shashasha shashasha ♪
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♪ i got your girl singing lalalala lalala how i stride like that ♪ ♪ [ cheering ] >> and now to finish the class off, we're going to do something a little different. we're changing the subject to beans. contrary to popular belief, peas are not edamames. shout-out to my parents, i love them. ♪ balls hanging low while i pop a bottle off a yacht ♪ ♪ chain swanging cling-clang and it cost a lot ♪ ♪ i'm always after guala yeah and you are not keep on going til you hit the spot ♪ ♪ woah i'm a big bag hunter with the bow she got a big bad dumper drop it low ♪ ♪ mama called me and she happy with the growth ♪ ♪ never ever fold for a thottie that's an oath ♪ ♪ she tip for i let her lick i had to dip i'm off a fifth ♪ ♪ am i rich now i bought a whip i paint it pink it drive itself ♪ ♪ you think yeah i'm rich now ♪ ♪ ayy lil mama yeah you heard about me i'ma pop you like a pea ♪ ♪ yeah edamame yeah feel so hot like i'm chillin on the beach ♪
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♪ yeah baby in the sun like the teletubbies woo ♪ ♪ hanging low while i pop a bottle off a yacht ♪ ♪ chain swanging cling-clang and it cost a lot ♪ ♪ i'm always after guala yeah and you are not keep on going til you hit the spot ♪ ♪ woah i'm a big bag hunter with the bow she got a big bad dumper drop it low ♪ ♪ mama called me and she happy with the growth never ever fold for a thottie that's an oath ♪ ♪ yeah i don't really ever wanna talk talk talk talk only really ever want the top top top top ♪ ♪ guess i'm goin' back to the sock sock sock sock least this money never really stop stop stop stop ♪ ♪ ayy lil mama yeah you heard about me i'ma pop you like a pea yeah edamame ♪ ♪ yeah feel so hot like i'm chillin' on the beach yeah baby in the sun like the teletubbies woo ♪ ♪ hanging low while i pop a bottle off a yacht ♪ ♪ chain swanging cling-clang and it cost a lot ♪ ♪ i'm always after guala yeah and you are not keep on going 'til you hit the spot ♪ ♪ woah i'm a big bag hunter with the bow she got a big bad dumper drop it low ♪ ♪ mama called me and she happy with the growth never ever fold for a thottie that's an oath ♪ [ cheering ]
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>> thanks for coming to class today. thank you, guys. you did great. you did great today. you did great. thank you, thank you. tim, thank you. [ cheering ] ♪ this is "nightline." >> juju: tonight -- >> paris, paris, paris! >> juju: paris hilton in her own words. >> i felt the whole world saw me as this sex symbol, but inside i

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