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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 10, 2023 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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ama: thank you for watching. dion: right now on jimmy kimmel, amy schumer. ama: have a good night. >> lou: from brooklyn, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- amy schumer, charlamagne tha god, and music from run the jewels. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: hello brooklyn! thank you. hi, everybody. thanks! please relax. be seated. it's embarrassing. i missed you too. thank you very much. it's great to be here. very kind. please sit. i'll be here all week. i don't want to use it all up. thank you. that's very kind of you, and thank you for joining us, and thanks for watching on our first night from b.a.m., the brooklyn academy of music. we haven't been to new york since 2019. and it's great to be here. have we missed anything? how's mayor deblasio doing? good? i love being back here. people in brooklyn, everybody thinks people in brooklyn are rude. it's not true at all. the people in this city are as warm as that weird air that blows out of the subway grates.
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they're the greatest. don't get me wrong, i love california, but brooklyn has a special something we don't have on the west coast -- it's called water. speaking of water, we got a lot of rain here last night. i had to watch a youtube video on how to open an umbrella last night. it is hurricane season. down in florida, you may have heard, they're bracing for hurricane ian, whose progress is being carefully tracked. >> here's what we see. it's a little bit misleading. honestly. let me explain this. if you look at this, what you think you see is all kind of tracks here over florida and fewer over here. >> that's not what i think i see. you know, there's only one rule when it comes to operating a telestrator -- it's "don't draw a penis." yet we brought our whole crew here from los angeles -- 270 people -- and we're all staying in brooklyn.
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so if you notice people waiting for the lights to turn green before crossing the street, they're probably with us. which reminds me, where is guillermo? did he miss the show? do we have some big entrance planned for him perhaps? ♪ >> brooooklyn! make some noise! from zacatecas, mexico, known around the world as "el presidente," the big agave, mister mustache, the deala of tequila, towering at 5 foot 5, 245 pounds, your security point guard -- guillermo! ♪
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>> jimmy: his tie came off. well, his secret is out. guillermo wears a clip-on tie. >> guillermo: how are you? >> jimmy: you wear the same tie like a 7-year-old wears to a wedding. >> guillermo: thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: are you having fun here in brooklyn? >> guillermo: a lot of fun! i love new york! >> jimmy: people are so excited. i think new york really loves you too, because people go crazy when they say guillermo. it's like a pinata come to life. >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: have you been on the subway yet? >> guillermo: no, i haven't, jimmy. >> jimmy: big changes are coming to the new york subway system. last week, kathy hochul, who is the governor of new york -- i guarantee less than three percent of you knew that. but she is the governor of new york. she announced by 2025, new york will have surveillance cameras in every subway car.
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the plan is to have cameras in every train. basically, the subway will be starting an onlyfans account. i don't know. this is either going to disturb public masturbators or really excite them. how are there not already cameras? there are cameras in every at duane reade. i find it hard to steal lipstick anymore. those ring cameras, you just lick the back and stick 'em on the wall. but these won't be installed until 2025. so if you were planning to commit a crime on the subway, there is no rush. you've got plenty of time! earlier tonight, i was with joe buck and troy aikman at metlife for monday night football. the giants hosted their hated rivals, the dallas cowboys. who were you rooting for, guillermo? guillermo is a big dallas cowboys fan. i wanted to point that out. he is. he loves them.
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not so cute anymore, is he? the giants started the season undefeated. to which the jets said, "we didn't know you could do that." the rivalry between the giants and cowboys goes back a long way, but no rivalry in professional sports generates as much hatred as the yankees and red sox. we came at a fun time for baseball in new york. the yankees and mets are both headed to the playoffs. aaron judge is hitting home runs like crazy. and the red sox are in last place. so we decided that it would be fun we had a camera crew in boston. we put them right outside fenway park, and we wanted to see if we could get red sox fans, hard-core red sox fans to switch sides and cheer for the yankees in a special bitter baseball rivalry edition of "traitor schmoes." >> tell us your name. >> jean. >> where are you from?
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>> hanover. >> big red sox fan? >> big, yeah. >> you guys big red sox fans? how important is it to raise charlie as a red sox fan? >> it's of utmost importance, above education, morals, religion. he's going to be a red sox fan. >> what do you love about the red sox? >> i'm from boston. it's ride or die, boston, 617 until i die. >> how do you feel about the yankees? >> i don't. >> i [ bleep ] hate the yankees. >> yeah, i can't [ bleep ]. >> look right in there and say go red sox! >> go red sox! >> that was great. i hate to ask you this. we're trying to do this thing to teach kids and everybody about unity and something that transcends sports. if i can get you to toss onto new york here, real quick. it's a goof. this is a giant one. you can put the whole thing right over. >> no. don't put it on. you can hold it there. not touching it.
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>> my skin is burning. >> that's really great. talk a little bit about how much you love the yankees. >> they're garbage! [ laughter ] >> any chance that you throw on a new york hat? >> you're really pushing it. >> i want to be a part of it, new york, new york, go, yankees! [ cheers and applause ] >> the big apple, more like the big crapple. go bosox. beantown, more like little wean town. go yankees! >> we're red hot for the red sox. we're yahoo for the yankees. >> new york is full of rejects and rats. go red sox! >> boston is full of losers and lobsters. go yankees! >> we [ bleep ] hate the yankees. >> new york yankees, they are the best. >> is that a new york accent? >> i tried.
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>> how important is loyalty to you guys? >> means everything. >> yeah. >> i love boston so much, new england clam crowder runs in my veins. >> i love boston so much, new england clam chowder -- for living. >> hit, cody. >> i'm from boston. we love new england clam chowder. >> wait, wait, wait. no, no. new england clam chowder. [ inaudible ] >> i love boston so much new england clam chowder runs in my veins. >> i love the yankees so much -- >> i got to say that too, the yankees? >> try it. yeah. i love the new york yankees so much, manhattan clam chowder runs in my veins. >> i love the yankees so much new york clam chowder runs in my veins. >> chug, chug, chug, chug. >> all of it.
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>> edgar? >> yes. >> where are you from, edgar? >> bronx, new york. >> excellent. big yankees fan? >> big yankees fan. >> what do you love about the yankees? >> everything, the tradition, the history. >> any chance i can get you to toss on this red sox cap? >> no, no. >> just for a second. it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter. >> no, no, no. i won't do it. you have no idea what that would do to me. >> you're saying a yankees fan won't put on a boston red sox cap? >> i won't. [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right. hey, we have a fun show for you tonight. charlamagne tha god is here. we have music from run the jewels and we'll be right back with amy schumer. from the brooklyn academy of music. [ applause ] ♪ abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by allstate.
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♪ >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. we are, as it says on the desk, we're in brooklyn with our guest tonight. he's a popular morning radio dj
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and host of the show "hell of a week" on comedy central -- charlamagne tha god is with us. [ cheering ] then later, atlanta and brooklyn join forces. this is their most recent album, "rtj 4" -- run the jewels, featuring greg nice and dj premier. and we have more greatness in store this week. tomorrow night, david letterman, tracy morgan, mila kunis, ramy youssef, desus nice, ben stiller, jason bateman, paul simon, yeah yeah yeahs, future, and a couple of surprise guests too. so good times all week long. our first guest tonight is one of the funniest people in all five boroughs and beyond. you can see her live on the "whore tour," and a new season of "inside amy schumer" premieres october 20 on paramount plus. please welcome amy schumer. [ applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: how you doing? >> oh my gosh. thank you. >> jimmy: i want to start by apologizing because just a moment ago when we hugged and i was talking, i actually ate a little of your hair. >> oh. >> jimmy: sorry about that. i didn't mean to do it. >> can i have it back? these are hair extensions. >> jimmy: so i ate a little of a stranger's hair. >> yeah, you owe her money. yeah, somebody's hair. >> jimmy: thank you for being here. i can't think of a better way to start the week than with you. >> thank you for having me. this is a hot show. >> jimmy: it's very hot. that's what people are saying. >> i mean, the whole week is hot, but this show, charlamagne tha god, run the jewels? what?
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i'm freaking out. >> jimmy: we play extra close attention to these weeks in brooklyn. the rest of the year is kind of crappy. >> who cares? >> jimmy: here it's fun. happy rash hashana to you. happy new year. >> a blessing on your cup. >> jimmy: do you make a resolution or do anything like that to celebrate the new year? >> actually, yeah, it's a little shallow, but i just started intermittent binging. >> jimmy: oh. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i started that too. >> can't you tell? i'm wearing an actual mumu, i swear. i've been doing a plant-based diet, just edibles. >> jimmy: oh. >> yeah. >> jimmy: gummy fruits and what not. >> yeah. that's who i am now. >> jimmy: whatever you're doing, it's working. >> i look amazing? i'm so blessed. >> jimmy: what's going on in your life? >> what haven't i been up to? i've been mostly just kicking it with adam levine. >> jimmy: oh.
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[ laughter ] have you? >> that's me. that's me. >> jimmy: and your husband, i assume, is okay with that? >> oh my god, he totally respects my choices. >> jimmy: good guy. good man. >> yeah. no. we have a good sex life. we do. we're there. it's brooklyn. i live in brooklyn. we're there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, married people, have you found this? we have found -- you're married. >> jimmy: yep. >> did you know that? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> we have found the best weekday to have sex is always tomorrow. [ laughter ] is that when you have sex? yeah. we ate today. you know, maybe we won't eat tomorrow. that will be a big day for us. >> jimmy: that's how you keep it fresh. >> let's just be real. it's weird to have sex with your spouse. >> jimmy: what do you mean by that? >> because, like, that's your family. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: this is true. >> holidays together, you know? he's my emergency contact. i'm supposed to -- disgusting. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i can see what you mean. it's like having sex with a favorite uncle. >> yeah, exactly, exactly. >> jimmy: how long have you lived in brooklyn? >> we just moved here. i lived here back in the day. the apartment is a little different now. >> jimmy: were these the old days with roommates? and that kind of stuff? >> my first apartment, i found my roommate -- this was in a studio. if you live in a nice city and you don't know what a studio is, it was the size of this rug. >> jimmy: nice city! >> and i had a roommate that i met on croatianlist, and we shared it. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. it wound up being great. we watched a lot of "will and grace" and she was cool. you know, it was a dark time. >> jimmy: do you keep in touch? >> no. but britney, if you're out there, what's up girl?
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>> jimmy: did you live in any other boroughs or just brooklyn? >> i lived in all of the acceptable boroughs. yeah. i'm not going to say the one i'm excluding. [ laughter ] you know what it is. you know. i love pete davidson, but not enough to take a ferry. you get it. >> jimmy: you have a family, you have the whole thing. your husband's a chef. he's a farmer also. can he farm out here? any farming going on? >> my god, yes. i walked outside and he was chopping down a tree the other day. >> jimmy: really? >> yes. yeah, he totally -- he's writing his next cookbook. he has a james beard award, just saying. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> yeah. we have a pizza oven.
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>> jimmy: is that why he was chopping down the tree? for his cookbook? >> i don't know. i came outside and he was chopping down. the neighbors are like what's going on? i don't know. >> jimmy: you're on tour doing standup. is it good to be back out on the road doing this stuff? >> oh, my gosh, it's amazing. i mean, you feel it. it's just so good. it's been incredible. >> jimmy: you missed it? >> i missed it. you can tell the crowds are excited. we did just have a medical situation in the audience. in boston. i learned a lot about the audience that comes to see me. this guy was having a seizure in the balcony. he's fine. i didn't follow up, but like, i'm assuming, you know? [ laughter ] no. he walked out. >> jimmy: you spotted this guy having a seizure? >> everyone is yelling help, so i put the house lights on.
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what do you do next? this is how i found out about my crowd. i'm like, we need a doctor. not one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in boston? >> in boston. not one doctor is in my demographic. of course, i'm like nurses. like 30 nurses were there, but they were all hammered. they weren't on call. let them live. let them have a good time. i was desperate. any "grey's anatomy" fans? can someone go do something? but he's fine. >> jimmy: and again, you assume the man is fine. >> he's probably great. i'm sure he is great. >> jimmy: by the way, i saw the first couple of episodes of your new old show, "inside amy schumer." it is absolutely hilarious. we're going to see a clip of that when we come back. amy schumer is with us. [ applause ] ♪ portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by i
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introducing togo's new french dip sandwiches featuring fresh artisan bread piled high with tender roast beef, smothered with melty provolone cheese and served with hot au jus for dipping. try the roast beef or pastrami french dips today only at togo's i'm a mom and i support the second amendment. >> i'm a teacher and so do i. >> there is a lot of talk about guns going on in america right now. >> no government has the right to tell me how to defend my family. that's why as a mom -- >> as a teacher -- >> as an american -- >> i will always be proud to drive a tank. ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's amy schumer. amy has season serb is this season five or six of "inside
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amy schumer?" >> season five. >> jimmy: how long has it been since the last season? >> 2016. it's not a coincidence. i was incredibly depressed. >> jimmy: and you're like hey, let's do it again. did they come to you and say please do it again or a standing offer? >> yeah, yeah, it was always a standing offer. i just didn't feel like i had anything to say. i was too bummed about the election. i don't know if you guys read about it. and just all of it. but i felt ready to do it again. we had the best time. >> jimmy: do you believe it's an american's right under the second amendment to own a tank? >> absolutely. yeah. everybody. look under your seats. you get a tank, you get -- yeah. >> jimmy: with this big gap from doing the last season of the show and doing this one, the world has changed a lot since then. >> not good. >> jimmy: did you feel that in
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your writers' room coming up with bits? did that affect you? >> yeah. i mean, we, like, had to talk about all the ish going on. it's unbelievable, you know? >> jimmy: right. >> the sickening stuff. the poor iranians right now. we're with you, women. we see you. we're looking at you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: do you find that the show is easier to get people to be a part of the show? i know you have guest stars and famous people interspersed throughout the show. >> yeah. and i don't know if you know. i've always lived in new york, but i love movies and l.a. and all that. >> jimmy: you do? >> i love like the gossip. i saw top gun the week it came out. it was cute. it was good. i'm so impressed. did you know that tom cruise does all his own scientology? >> jimmy: i heard that.
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>> really impressive. >> jimmy: i read some multi-page think pieces on that. >> i'm blown away. >> jimmy: there are even some books about it. but top gun was good. would you ever move to l.a.? is that some place you would like to live? >> um, no. >> jimmy: no. [ applause ] >> no. i need the stress of new york. >> jimmy: you like that? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you feast on that? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i noticed walking around this town that, like, parents will bring their children in any place, like into a bar. like, they'll bring a baby into a bar. >> that's me. >> jimmy: will you do that? >> yeah. actually i did put something on instagram. my son was asleep on me. it was so cute. i'm just like reaching for my drink around him. social services is at my door. yeah. but this generation, these
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younger people that i see, it's so different. it's like social media. i saw these girls. they must have been 12 years old. they were taking selfies and, like, they knew their angles. 12 years old. like, they did the trick we all do to make your leg look thinner. you put it to the side. i'm 41. i know my angles, okay? >> jimmy: right. you learn them. >> at this point, the photographer gets in a tree, and i dig a deep trench, and i just kind of -- that's me. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: when you came up with the name "the whore tour" for your comedy tour, were you just delighted? i would imagine that you would be oh, that's great. >> thank you for knowing it was me. >> jimmy: of course it was you. who's going to pitch that to you? >> yeah. excuse me? i was fired up. some newspapers won't print it, they won't put it up on the
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marquee in some towns. it feels like you're doing something right. >> jimmy: are you bringing your son on the whore tour with you? >> my son is not on the whore tour. it's so hard. we're in a different city every day. i have jay mcbride opening for me. >> jimmy: nice. >> it's a place for whores. it's not a place for children, but i come back a couple days a week at home. >> jimmy: i see. so you're not just out in a bus one city after another. >> no. >> jimmy: you're going back home. >> i'm going back, yeah. then right back in the swing of being mom. >> jimmy: where are you going next? what's the next stop? >> baltimore on wednesday. >> jimmy: baltimore on wednesday. all right. if you're a baltimore whore -- >> it sold out. >> jimmy: oh, it sold out? >> yeah. >> jimmy: then you probably already have tickets. it's great to have you here. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> such a pleasure. >> jimmy: it's great to have you back. "inside amy schumer" on paramount plus and you can see amy live on "the whore tour" if you can get tickets. we'll be back with charlamagne tha god. [ applause ] for car shoppers i. reliability, safety, owner satisfaction, and road-test evaluations... and the results are in. subaru is the twenty twenty-three best mainstream automotive brand, according to consumer reports. and subaru has seven consumer reports recommended models. solterra, forester, outback, crosstrek, ascent, impreza, and legacy. it's easy to love a brand you can trust. it's easy to love a subaru. i'm steve. i lost 138 pounds in 9 months on golo and taking release. golo saved my life. i was way overweight, and that's what sent me down the path,
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when you find your reason to go on, let it pull you past the doubt. past the pain, and past your limits. no matter what, we go on. biofreeze >> jimmy: guillermo, did you know the human body is composed of 70% hair and cuticles? >> really? >> jimmy: no. that was a joke. guillermo will believe just about everything. but even he has his limits. >> there i am, about to cook my traditional thanksgiving dinner, tuna-roni and sardines for one, and suddenly a visitor reaches out his talons and he eats my can opener. >> i believe you, ron. >> reminds me of the time big foot stole my bicycle.
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>> guillermo: i believe you too, gloria. by the way, this butter is delicious. >> by the way, that's not butter. >> guillermo: i don't believe you, gloria. >> no, really, it's i can't believe that's not butter. >> look, i have been with you are. it's unbelievably butter flavor and spreadability makes you think it's not butter. >> guillermo: you and you, out of my house, now! >> that's the name of the product. >> yeah. >> guillermo: some people are crazy. unbelievable. ♪ >> try i can't believe it's not butter today, available at your local grocery retailer. to severe rheumatoid arthritis symptoms. with my psoriatic arthritis symptoms. but just ok isn't ok. and i was done settling. if you still have symptoms after a tnf blocker like humira or enbrel, rinvoq is different and may help. rinvoq is a once-daily pill that can dramatically relieve
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(vo) crabfest is back at red loter. when you can choose your crab, and one of three new flavors like honey sriracha... ...this is not your grandpa's crabfest... ...unless grandpa's got flavor. dayumm! crabfest is here for a limited time. welcome to fun dining. ♪ california sky ♪ ♪ todos alcanzamos las estrellas ♪ ♪ sunny state of mind ♪ ♪ flexin' all the time ♪ ♪ todo es dorado ♪ ♪ y nos gusta picante ♪ ♪ cause this place is caliente ♪ ♪ 'tamos enchilado ♪ ♪ feels so golden ♪ ♪ livin' in the golden state with you ♪ ♪ feels so golden ♪
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: hello there. welcome back. music from run the jewels is on the way. our next guest has interviewed everyone from fat joe to president joe on his radio show, "the breakfast club." and he has a tv show too -- watch "hell of a week" thursdays on comedy central. please welcome charlamagne tha god. [ applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: how you doing? >> hey, brooklyn! what's happening? a couple thousand people in brooklyn. i'm not nervous at all. >> jimmy: you shouldn't be nervous. you're a veteran. you're a god, for god's sake. you started, like i did, in radio and you're still in radio. you still have a nationally syndicated morning radio show. >> that's right, "the breakfast club." [ applause ] >> jimmy: i cannot imagine doing a television show and doing -- i think really just you and ryan seacrest would do that, but that's to be -- >> steve harvey did it for a minute. >> jimmy: steve harvey had like 35 shows on the air simultaneously. >> i mean, i've been broke.
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i lived with my mom at 31 years old after being fired from radio four times. i'm not turning nothing down. i'm not turning nothing down. >> jimmy: you never forget that, do you? >> never. >> jimmy: when they would fire you, did you always know you were going to get fired? >> no because they call you in the office and say things like, we're moving in another direction. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> and they never really tell you why. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i know myself. >> jimmy: did they ever go in your office and make sure -- >> office? >> jimmy: oh, you didn't have an office? >> i suffer from ptsd for things like that. i never keep an office. to this day i don't have an office. 13 years of breakfast club, i do not have an office. that is the worst thing in the world when you got this little box with nothing in it but raisins and a couple of bs awards they gave you. i don't want that. >> jimmy: you're saying you can never be removed from your office if you don't have one. great. [ applause ] >> jimmy: by the same logic, you can never get in a car accident if you don't have a car. do you have a car? >> i do.
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>> jimmy: i can't believe we've never met. i'm surprised that we've never met. >> we have a lot of mutual associates. >> jimmy: we do. >> tiffany haddish. >> jimmy: tiffany haddish, yeah. >> i saw you at tifify's black mitzvah. it turned out to really be a bar mitzvah. i thought she was joking. oh, this is funny. and then i got there, and it was very serious. like, she's jewish. >> yeah, for me, it was very black. >> jimmy: was it? >> it's probably because i didn't know what to look for on the jewish side. to you, it probably was very jewish. to me it was very black. but that's why it was a black mitzvah. >> jimmy: you work a lot too, don't you? you have a lot going on. a podcast as well? >> i have the black effect podcast network with i heart radio. we're partnering with a lot of great podcasts like the 85 south show and all the smoke and drink
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champs, horrible decisions. >> jimmy: yeah. >> nobody familiar? >> jimmy: no. >> this is gentrified brooklyn. oh, okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i wonder like do you run out of topics, do you run out of things to talk about when you're on the air that much? >> that's a great question. it's not that i run out of things to talk about. it's that i run out of things i care to talk about. >> jimmy: right. >> you know what i'm saying? i'm 44 years old. i'm married. i got four daughters. some of this stuff i really don't care about. you got to come in in the morning and act like you care when you really don't. i'm not good at pretending. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm getting to the point where i'm like i don't care, guys. you know? that's the only thing. >> jimmy: how old are your daughters? >> 14, 7, 4 and the last one will be 1 tomorrow. >> jimmy: wow. >> my third just turned 4 friday.
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>> jimmy: do they call you charlamagne the dad? >> no. they have no idea who that is. my oldest daughter understands now because she is in high school. she's a freshman in high school. i realized when i went to the back to school function that they have for parents, there was a lot of people there that listen to the breakfast club. i met one lovely cup who will let me know their son is in my daughter's home room and he calls her by her name and tha god. my 7-year-old is like, daddy, you're in the tv. why? that's a good question because i have no idea why. >> jimmy: are you having fun doing the tv show? >> oh, yeah, very much so. >> jimmy: you changed titles on the tv show. it's different now than it was when you started. >> yeah. >> jimmy: why did you switch the title of the show? >> because corporate told me to. corporate said that "hell of a week" read more like a late night talk show. who am i to argue with the people that do this for a living? >> jimmy: it's a good title.
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>> i think it's a good title, but it's not like i had a choice in the matter. >> jimmy: oh, you didn't. you just went along with it. so you have -- i know you have a lot of people, a lot of politicians, obviously a lot of musicians, a lot of pop culture figures. i know this is a question you get asked a lot. i'm not talking about somebody like oprah or something like that that everybody would want to have on the show. is there somebody off the radar that you've always wanted to have on one of your many shows? >> i don't know how off the radar it is, but the children's author judy blum. >> jimmy: judy blume? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you're a judy blume fan? >> huge fan. my mother is an english teacher. >> jimmy: really? [ applause ] >> when i was young, she would always tell me to read things that don't pertain to me. >> jimmy: that's great advice. >> when i was in the libraries, i would see these covers of books with these little white girls on the front. well, i don't think that
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pertains to me. so i started reading. and the book-it program. the book-it program where you had to read four books to get a free pizza. yeah. i guess that's why they say i look like a ninja turtle, because i really do like pizza. i used to just run through jude by blum and beverly cleary books. >> jimmy: really? >> what's so interesting about judy blume books is the stories. even though the stories were rooted in the experience of little white girls, they were anybody's experience. she had a lot of things of socially redeeming value in the books. blubber was about obesity. are you there, god, it's me margaret was about spirituality. i feel like i got a lot of my early story telling ability from reading those books. >> jimmy: have you passed those books along to your daughters? >> what's interesting, i guess i talk about judy blume a lot. i've talked about her in my books. she actually sent me an autographed copy of "are you there, god, it's me margaret." maybe about four or five years
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ago. so at the time my daughter was 9. i gave her "are you there, go? it's me, margaret" to read. she wasn't feeling it. >> jimmy: she didn't like it? >> it really hurt my feelings to the point where i was like i might have to get her blood tested. how do you not like this? so what i want to do, i want her to read it again in a couple of years. i don't know if she didn't like it because she didn't like it or because she's rebelling against daddy. she's in that phase. >> jimmy: yeah, sure, of course. >> she's been there for about five years. they say daughters grow out of it. i don't know when, but it's really hurtful when it's happening. you know? >> jimmy: oh, yeah, i know. what i remember about judy blume, i don't know why, i only remember the dirty stuff. a book called "wifey." as i recall, we were passing it around the school bus, and there was a lot of porn. >> judy blume? "wifey"? that sound like penthouse.
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>> jimmy: believe me. when it comes to dirty stuff, i don't forget. >> i thought you were going to say the i must, i must, i must increase my bust part. >> jimmy: that was from the book? >> that was from "are you there god, it's me margaret." before surgery was possible, people used to do affirmations. >> jimmy: i remember that from laverne & shirley" or something like that. >> i flipped it. i say i must, i must, i must increase my thrust. >> jimmy: is it working? >> no, it didn't work. i'm very regular. >> jimmy: what did you do before radio? is that your first job? >> my first real -- i worked a lot of odd jobs. you know what i'm saying? when i was running the streets, i was doing things i had no business doing like selling crack. >> jimmy: oh. >> when i wanted to create positive energy in my life, because there was this acronym that wu tang used to say that was peace, positive energy activates constant elevation. i worked at a factory called industrial acoustics company.
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i did telemarketing. i would call your house and try to sell you 12 cds for a penny. me and my now wife worked at a clothing store called demo in the mall. i worked at taco bell two weeks. until my sister fired me. >> jimmy: two weeks. did you quit? >> no, my sister fired me. >> jimmy: your sister fired you? >> my older sister teresa, yeah, she fired me. >> jimmy: that's hard-core, to fire your own brother. >> i deserved it. >> jimmy: it's great to get to know you a little bit. congratulations on your incredible success. >> thank you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: the television is show is called hell of a week with charlamagne tha god thursday nights at 11:30 on comedy central. we'll be back with run the jewels. this week on "jimmy kimmel
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live!" in brooklyn, jason bateman, mila kunis, ben stiller, tracy morgan, jon stewart, and david letterman. plus music from ya ya yas, action bronze, and future.
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>> jimmy: thanks to amy schumer and charlamagne tha god. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time tonight. tomorrow night -- david letterman and tracy morgan. "nightline" is next, but first -- the album is called "rtj 4." here with the song "ooh la la," with help from greg nice and dj premier -- run the jewels! >> new york city, what up? new york city, what's up? put your hands in the air, come on. ♪ ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ♪ ♪ ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee ♪ ♪ ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la
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ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee ♪ ♪ lookin for m's like i lost a friend jump out of my bed like where the bread ♪ ♪ you can hold the egg waiter bring the check when we talk we kalachnikov keep us in your thoughts ♪ ♪ fully dressed at the crack of dawn weapons letting off ♪ ♪ i can hear them from the block see them creeping through the fog ♪ ♪ seasons greetings now feeding season can start oh my god ♪ ♪ look alive lookin' like i live life on a crooked line ♪ ♪ doing fine you want maximum stupid i am the guy ♪ ♪ first of all -- the -- law we is -- raw ♪ ♪ steak tartare oysters on the half shell sushi bar ♪ ♪ like a chick and her raw ♪ ♪i'm a dog i'm a dirty dog ha ha ha ha ha ♪ ♪ old dirty bastard go in your jaw shimmy shimmy ya ♪ ♪ got the semi and the hemi goin' gimme gimme y'all ♪ ♪ pugilistic my linguistics are jeru the damaja and i rap it pornographic, set up the camera ♪ ♪ ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ♪ ♪ ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ♪
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♪ ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ♪ ♪ you covet disruption i got you covered i'm bussin' ♪ ♪ my brothers a runner he crushin' its no discussion ♪ ♪ i used to be munchkin i wasn't 'sposed to be nothin' ♪ ♪ y'all -- corrupted and up to somethin' disgustin' ♪ ♪ my pockets are plumper this season i love to cuff 'em ♪ ♪ i'm afraid of nothing but nothingness ain't it somethin' ♪ ♪ war mongers are dumpin' they'll point and click at your pumpkin ♪ ♪ your suffering is scrumptious they'll put your kids in the oven ♪ ♪ -- a king or queen and all of they loyal subjects ♪ ♪ i pull the peter out and on the shoes in public ♪ ♪ people we the powers the product of this great republic ♪ ♪ no matter what you order -- we what you're stuck with ♪ ♪ i used to love bruce but livin' my vida loca help me understand i'm probably more of a joker ♪ ♪ when we usher in chaos just know we did it smiling cannibals on this island inmates run the asylum ♪ ♪ ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la
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ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ♪ >> dj premier! ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ♪ ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ♪ [ applause ] >> love y'all new york city, love y'all brooklyn. thank you. we're run the jewels. [ cheering and applause ] >> new york! ♪
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♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, revenge of the orcas? >> we lost both rudders. >> a rash of terrifying encounters with the fearsome predator. >> it's like you can smell their diet. >> damaging diseases of boats off the coast of spain and portugal. social media abuzz with theories. are they playing? >> they have these life-long social bonds. they have complex emotions and

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