ama: ama: thank you so much for watching tonight. dan: we appreciate your time. on jimmy kimmel, tiffany haddish. ama: have a great night. ♪ >> dicky: from the caesars entertainment's zappos theater, it's “jimmy kimmel live” in las vegas! tonight -- tiffany haddish, jimmy crashes a bachelorette party, and music from the killers. with cleto and the cletones.

and now, upping the ante, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. goodnight, everybody. thank you. hello, friends. i'm jimmy kimmel. i'm the host of the show. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching from the comfort of your homes. welcome to the zappos theater. we are right in the heart of las vegas strip. that's very nice. this is our second night in the desert. thanks for coming to visit us. we are in las vegas, and let me

tell you something. out of all the shows you could go to, you could have went to see ciara, you could have gone to see barry manilow, celine dion. you chose the one where a middle-aged man stands and sits almost completely still for a whole hour. [ cheers and applause ] and i appreciate it. thank you for supporting performers with no abilities at all. this is -- there are so many shows here in las vegas. i went to see "love" the other night with my family. that is quite a show. [ applause ] i had no idea the beatles were so talented. [ laughter ] it really is phenomenal. there are so many cirque du soleil shows. "love," "mystere," "o," there's "michael jackson 1." because that's the number of people who want to see it after that hbo documentary. [ laughter ]

vegas has changed a lot. for starters, i can now buy beer for myself instead of having to ask my friend tommy's older sister to go buy it for me. thanks, tammy. is tammmy here? we've had a very warm welcome since i've been here. i feel like i know everyone everywhere i go. they've been talking about us on the local news. fox 5 has a show called "more access," i think is the name of the show. this is how they teased my interview on the 6:00 news. >> this could easily be one of the biggest entertainment weeks vegas has seen. >> we have the opening of "chaos" and sinema-con," and it starts off with jimmy kimmel returning to planet hollywood. >> it's expensive to put it together. >> we'll have more from jimmy tonight. >> jimmy: you better have more that wasn't much. [ laughter ] tune in tonight as jimmy kimmel

reveals all about a budget! [ laughter ] today also happened to be election day in las vegas. the mayoral primary was held today, it's still going on. the current mayor, carolyn goodman, whose husband oscar goodman was the mayor for a long time before her was up for re-election. she doesn't have much in the way of competition, up against six challengers, including a minister, a life coach and a "sex and the city" slot machine. [ laughter ] quick show of hands. how many of you voted today? be honest. okay. how many of you smoked pot today here in vegas? [ cheers and applause ] this is why we have no laws in this town. everything is legal in las vegas. it's like "the purge" every single day. oh, speaking of "the purge," i was kind of hoping i could go all week without mentioning president trump. but he was on tv today. and he's talking about the mueller report, and he had a little troubling with the word

"er "er on "origin." >> i hope they take a look at the oranges. the oranges of the investigation. the beginnings of that investigation. you look at the origin of the investigation. the mueller report, i wish covered the oranges, how it started. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what happens is he wakes up every morning, sees the color of his face -- [ laughter ] and the rest of the day he has that word stuck in his head. [ cheers and applause ] and that wasn't -- by the way, that wasn't even the weirdest quote of the day. that honor goes to this. >> germany honestly isn't paying their share. i have great respect for angela and i have great respect for the country. my father is german, right? was german. born in a very wonderful place in germany. so i have a great feeling for germany. >> jimmy: well, that's great. unfortunately for that story, donald trump's father was not born in germany. he was born in the bronx, which

would, which would mean j. lo is from germany too, i guess. [ laughter ] at this point, he's just messing with us, right? he's now questioning his own father's birth certificate. [ laughter ] we have a great show for you tonight. we have headlining with us on the strip, tiffany haddish and the killers are here. [ cheers and applause ] separately, not together, although that would be a pretty great band. and we have another great band with us. please say hello to our band of 16 years, las vegas' own cleto and the cletones. [ cheers and applause ] and where is our beloved security guard, guillermo? he's not in his spot. where is guillermo? [ siren ] oh my goodness! >> announcer: medieval maniacs, make some noise! for the "nightline," chance the gila monster, the golden knight,

number 71, william carlson! number 89, alex carr! and number 0, guillermo! it's knight time! >> yeah! >> jimmy: look at that. our little golden knight in shining armor. and we've got the band from the golden knights. we have, from the vegas golden knights, william carlson and alex cupp. [ cheers and applause ] there they are. congratulations on the playoffs, guys. they're going, they're going. thank you, knights. thanks for coming. thanks a lot. thanks a lot.

>> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: go get that stanley cup so we can fill it with frozen margaritas. >> yeah! >> jimmy: that's a much better outfit than last night, by the way. >> yeah, thank god. >> jimmy: last night, guillermo was dressed as show girl. and a lot of people in the front section threw up. [ laughter ] so we put them in pads tonight. another las vegas sport news -- congratulations to a man who brought great joy to back fans in this city, former running rebel larry johnson was selected to be enshrined in the college basketball hall of fame. so congratulations to l.j. [ cheers and applause ] he was the best. they should put his gold tooth in the hall of fame, too. have you ever had the pleasure of walking down the strip, you know it's jam-packed with people of every time, people from all over the world. most of whom have one thing in common. that is that they are drunk.

they are completely hammered before lunch. day drinking is one of the foundations of this city. [ cheers and applause ] so we thought it would be fun to make that into a pedestrian question. we went out on las vegas boulevard this morning and asked people a simple question. we asked, are you drunk? so the way this works is, we're going to see someone introduce him or herself and we'll try to guess whether that person is under the influence, all right? let's meet our first pedestrian. >> good morning. >> morning. >> what's your name? >> tommy wilson. >> tommy, are you drunk? >> jimmy: okay, we start easy. is tommy drunk? let's find out. >> yeah, i am. actually really drunk right now. >> thank you, tommy. >> jimmy: the enormous beer was a clue. who's next? >> what's your name? >> jake norvey. >> where are you from? >> i'm from montana. >> are you drunk? >> jimmy: is jake drunk? almost everyone says no. let's find out. >> i'm very drunk.

started the day with two bloodies. had this. getting there, 12:00, we're having a good time. >> jimmy: i think he also cuts his own bangs. [ laughter ] next up. >> tell us your name. >> crazy larry. larry berg. las vegas. >> are you drunk this morning? >> jimmy: is crazy larry drunk? well. [ cheers and applause ] crazy? let's find out if crazy larry is drunk. >> a little bit, no, i just started my first beer, but you know how things go. i'm a little high, though. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, you know, you don't get a name like "crazy larry" without being a little high. who's next? >> hi, guys, what you doin'?

hey, guys, come on in, what's your names? >> i'm lindsey. >> i'm ashton! >> lindsey and ashley, question for you. are you drunk? >> jimmy: i hope so. >> yes! >> absolutely. >> i couldn't tell. >> jimmy: i know who i'm voting for in 2020. lindsey and ashley. thank you. that's why they call it the strip. [ cheers and applause ] so las vegas, probably the number one destination for bachelorette parties in the world. that's why we are the penis necklace capital of the planet. [ laughter ] i have been a part of many bachelor parties over the course of my life, two of my own, but never a bachelorette party, so we did some digging and got in touch with a maid of honor in texas. she was throwing her sister a bachelorette party here in vegas. we found out about it. we convinced her to let me and guillermo take charge of it.

the bride was not in on this, the bride's friends didn't know we were coming. it was a real surprise. here it is. guillermo and i guiding a bunch of bachelorettes. ♪ >> are you excited? >> yes. >> we have something really fun that's going to happen right now. >> okay. >> are you ready? >> i think so. >> are you sure? >> i don't know. >> so i want you to come in here. >> hi, girls! how are you? how you doin'? >> jimmy: are you val? >> yes. >> jimmy: val, you're about to have the greatest night of your life. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right? get on the bus. everybody get on the bus. ♪ wanna have fun ♪ >> jimmy: ladies, i'm jimmy, i'll be your party guide tonight. you can call me captain jim. this is guillermo, my assistant. >> that's right. yeah! >> jimmy: we have many events planned for you.

we have some choices. we could go to area 51, we could play paint ball. we could go to the hoover dam. we could go to see "menopause the musical." no? or we could go to a pole dancing class. >> pole dancing. >> jimmy: pole dancing it is. let's go to the pole. ♪ >> jimmy: val? >> yes. >> jimmy: a toast to you. you're getting married. >> yes, i am. >> jimmy: to val, everyone! >> cheers! >> whoo! >> jimmy: this is my first bachelorette party, so i'm excited. >> me too. >> welcome! >> jimmy: do any of you have any stripping experience? >> no. >> jimmy: okay, not everyone said no. so val, how long have you known your fiance? >> eight years. >> jimmy: eight years? wow. how do you like his mother? >> i love her. >> jimmy: you do? >> yes. >> good for you, i don't like my mother-in-law.

>> she got a good one. >> jimmy: and that's an understatement. yes. i want everyone to stay hydrated tonight, all right? >> all right. >> jimmy: it's very important. >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: let's go to the pole. >> okay. this is stripper 101. be ready to polish dance. this is heather. she will be your instructor. >> fabulous, wonderful, welcome, welcome. come on in, ladies, you can put your stuff down. cubbyholes there. >> jimmy: cubbyholes are for your personal belongings. when we depart the premises, check your cubbyholes for your personal property, okay? >> very important. >> jimmy: thank you, heather. >> let's get started. our first tip, ladies, you're always reaching nice and high on the poles. yep, that's it. >> jimmy: tip number one. begin high on the pole. very good. >> second tip is, you see your toes are going to step in

towards the base of your pole. so working it around your pole. up on the toes. that's it. >> heather, i feel like i'm bringing sexy back. >> yeah, you got it. >> you look great, guillermo. >> i'm going to take us into what we call our alternate cagneys move. >> jimmy: this is called the alternating knees move, everyone. >> we're going to go ahead, just like it sounds, you're going to go ahead, you're going to kind of work the knees. >> jimmy: just like a motley crue video. >> alternate the knees. >> jimmy: alternate the knees. >> you're going to get that and let your hands slide down the pole. you're going to get that booty up in the air. >> jimmy: now everyone say together, why don't you love me, daddy? well, thank you, heather. great job, everybody. all right, gather your personal belongings.

don't forget to check the cubbyholes for everything. we have a surprise for you on the bus. let's head to the bus. we have no time to waste. all right, so we have something special here for you. val, this is, i guess i don't need the bullhorn for this. yes. this is mystic mona, right here. go ahead and have a seat right next to her. >> what i need to do with your left hand, draw me five cards. just pull them straight out, leave them face-down. betting on this? >> how much do you want to bet on this? oh, these are beautiful cards. >> jimmy: are they? good. >> major card, major card, major card. >> jimmy: pokemon card. >> here's the thing. i'm going to go a little bit into your past by saying that -- >> jimmy: you've been with a lot of guys. >> a few toads. >> jimmy: oh. >> along the way, there might have been a few toads. but your guy is a total keeper. >> what does this blue guy mean? >> jimmy: see what you can get out of this guy.

>> i'm ready. >> this is a card that says you're about to get some kind of epiphany or idea for a new business. >> jimmy: oh, no, that's not true. >> this is saying whatever you do for work, you are good enough to teach other people how to do it. >> the epiphany! >> you're having an epiphany. >> jimmy: teach people to get drunk at work? all right. i'm going to read everybody's tequila leaves. to mystic mona. >> to mystic mona! >> jimmy: and her cards. be careful as you exit the bus. it's time to go see naked men. all right, ladies, are you ready to party? >> yes! >> jimmy: this way. ♪ >> jimmy: wonder where guillermo is?

>> come here, baby, i got a little surprise for you. >> make some noise for your guest floor man, guillermo! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ just wanna have fun girls just wanna have fun ♪ >> jimmy: wow. our maid of honor's here i believe in the audience tonight. thanks, michelle. is it true that everyone took off their tops in the bus after we went home? >> i'm going to plead the fifth. >> jimmy: oh, my god. we miss everything fun, guillermo. >> oh, it's too late. >> jimmy: all right, well,

congratulations on whatever the hell happened there. we've got a great show tonight. we have music from the killers, and we'll be right back with tiffany haddish from the las vegas strip. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm your overly competitive brother. check. psych! and i'm about to steal this game from you just like i stole kelly carter in high school. you got no game dude, that's a foul! and now you're ready to settle the score. game over. and if you don't have the right home insurance coverage, well, you could end up paying for all this yourself. so get allstate, and be better protected from mayhem, yeah, like me. thanks, bro. take a lap, rookie. real mature.

[stomach growling] it's nothing... sounds like something. ♪when you have nausea, heartburn, indigestion♪ ♪upset stomach, diarrhea♪ pepto bismol coats and soothes for fast relief when you need it most.

lactaid is 100% real milk, just without the lactose. delicious too. just ask my old friend, kevin. nothing like enjoying a cold one while watching the game. who's winning? no idea. real milk. real delicious. and don't forget to try some delicious, creamy lactaid ice cream. what's that mabel? (mooo) wow, smart cow! they'll be here in 5, we ready? - there's uh... - oh. left. left. i don't have it. i don't have it. - keep going. - we should've used behr. yeah. today let's paint. right now, get america's most trusted paint brand at a new low price starting at $28.98. behr. only at the home depot.

featuring fresh artisan bread piled high with tender roast beef, smothered with melty provolone cheese, just enough chipotle mayo and served with hot au jus for dipping. try the roast beef or pastrami french dips today. only at togo's. >> jimmy: welcome back. you're fabulous, las vegas. we have another big show for you tonight. james taylor was supposed to be here tonight. he has a twelve show residency coming up at caesars palace from april 17 to may 11, and he will be ready to go for that, but tonight, he has the flu.

he could not make the trip so the killers are covering for him. literally, tonight, the killers will cover a james taylor classic. this is their box set. it's called “the killers career vinyl box.” night two with the killers from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, we have kevin hart, marshmello, chvrches. and later this week, seth rogen, mike tyson, iggy azalea, and celine dion. so please join us for all of that. our guest tonight is one of the funniest people in the world. she is a major movie star with a tv show too. you can see her alongside tracy morgan on “the last o.g.” tuesday nights on tbs. please welcome tiffany haddish. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> put my shoes on, put my shoes on. come sit down right here, come sit down right here. i need a place to sit. >> wait a minute. >> put my shoes on. get it in the hole, baby, put it in the hole baby. there you go. >> jimmy: this is a very practical lap dance you have going on here. >> hi, y'all! [ cheers and applause ] >> y'all see how i got these men putting my shoes on my feet? [ cheers and applause ] let's see if you can get it in there, stick it in there, boy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, all right. >> all right, there you go. >> jimmy: you got it on there, guys? you guys don't have kids, i guess, huh? >> no. >> jimmy: oh, we can see a little of your crack. okay. all right. >> give it all for the bunion, baby. >> jimmy: all right, thank you, gentlemen. i think.

[ cheers and applause ] >> my seat is so comfortable. >> jimmy: i know, it is comfortable. would you be more comfortable on the actual seat? >> i don't know, i like this seat. [ laughter ] what's your name? charm, i'll see you later. >> jimmy: thanks, guys. you all look great. [ cheers and applause ] yes, take that furniture. this is some moving company you hired. >> damn, they smell, good, too. they smell good, too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you a fan of male strippers? >> oh, yeah, that's my thing. >> jimmy: is it really your thing? >> that's my thing. i love to see a man dancing around with no clothes on, that's beautiful. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: do you go to strip clubs? >> i'm an avid male dance revue person. >> jimmy: you are? >> yeah, that's why i go to ballet. i love seeing men dance with barely any clothes on. that's beautiful. >> jimmy: where do you go? >> there's a few places. i'm from los angeles, you got

the right track, you got the boom boom room, the hollywood revue, hollywood and vine. when i go to atlanta, i like to go to swinging ritchie's. that's my favorite. [ cheers ] they're all swinging around. they butt naked in there. that's beautiful! when i walk in the building then, they know it's me. ooh, tiffany here. bam, bam, bam. all the men come out, and i'm like, yeah! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you bring a lot of money? >> $25. >> jimmy: $25 total? >> 25 ones. >> jimmy: 25 one-dollar bills? where do you put them? >> well, you know. wherever they got pockets. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow, how about that. >> hopefully in between -- never mind. this is a family show, right? >> jimmy: not really. >> right between the nuts and the balls. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, i'm familiar with that area. >> i stick it right up in there, baby. there's a nest, it's a thing. do it!

i crease it like that. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: okay, well, that's good. >> i love objectifying men. there ain't nothing like it. >> jimmy: you do. when was the first time were you in las vegas? how old were you when you were here? >> the first time i was in vegas i was probably 6 or 7 years old. >> jimmy: very young. >> very young. i remember going to circus circus. we stayed in a hotel room with a bed, if you put a quarter in the bed, it vibrated. i thought it was best ride of all time. >> jimmy: called magic fingers. >> huh? >> jimmy: magic fingers. >> for real? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i was just like, eeeeee, eeeeee, that was nice. my bed now vibrates. to this day. i got me one of those beds that the back come up and the legs come up and you push the button and it vibrates. i think that's from my childhood. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you really have a bed that vibrates? >> yeah. you should come over. [ laughter ] no, you're married, never mind. you're not welcome.

>> jimmy: i think the wife would be all right with it, i'll tell you it's a social experiment. >> if you've got a wife, i don't want you in my bed if you've got a wife. >> jimmy: you just got off a stand-up comedy tour. >> i'm wrapping it up. >> jimmy: it had a rocky start. >> just one, just one. you ain't never, you ever had a bad day at work? >> jimmy: no. >> you never had a bad day at work? >> jimmy: they're all bad days, yeah. [ laughter ] >> new year's eve, it was just a bad day at work. see, what happened was, i don't know if you notice, what happened was i had a bad day at work. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i worked a lot last year, you know. i had 40 days off. and out of those 40 days i only slept in my actual bed 28 of those days. >> jimmy: you had to sleep in plain, non-vibrating beds. >> it's horrible. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: horrible, the worst. >> you can't really create if were your bed don't vibrate. especially when ewe a single woman.

so i get off set. i fly directly to miami, like the day before. well, really the night before. and a lot of my friends were in town, and they're like, tiffany, come on, we got to go out. let's celebrate. i said no, i got to sleep. i got a big show tomorrow. no, come on, you got to celebrate, you need to celebrate all your successes, come on, tiff, you got an emmy, you got a movie that made over $100 million, you got to celebrate. [ cheers and applause ] and you know how you have that one friend that can make you do things that you don't necessarily -- >> jimmy: he's sitting in the front row here. >> that's your friend? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's the guy. >> i don't like that friend. that friend, i had that friend in town, like come on, tiff, we got to go out. i was like, no, i don't want to. you everybody seen that movie pinocchio? >> jimmy: yes. >> pinocchio's going to school, and there's a little boy who's like, we're going to fun island, it's going to be great, it's going to be fantastic. and they get to fun island and they turn into jackasses, that's me and my friend. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: pinocchio. >> she's pinocchio! we partied. the thing is, the thing that convinced me to go out, "it's going to be a lot of sexy guys." i was like, let's get out of here! let's go! i danced all night. i drank more than i ever drank in my entire night. my kidneys fell out. [ laughter ] i'm pretty sure my uber rating dropped a little low. >> jimmy: oh, no, that's the worst. >> it was bad. it was bad. >> jimmy: did you know the next day? did you have a sense that things had gone wrong? >> i woke up, i thought i was dead. i definitely woke up dead. i was hurting really bad. and they're like, come on, tiff, you got to let people know where you're going to be. if you saw this on my instagram page, you know that was not going to be a good show. if you had any common sense, you know, she not ready, she was not ready. she was not ready. >> jimmy: too soon. >> i mean, i couldn't -- i

didn't know where i was performing at, i couldn't remember the name of the venue, the wind was blowing in my face, i couldn't open my eyes, the hair, wind blowing through my partial weave, two tracks were flying -- it was bad. it was drool on the side of my mouth. i had no control. the cognizance? no recognizance. it was bad. i went back to sleep. they woke me up, come on, you got to get to the theater. when i get to the theater, i'm backstage, and it was like they was getting me ready for my funeral. [ laughter ] when they was doing my makeup, i was like this. [ laughter ] and they pushed me out onto the stage. let's go, go, go, go, and all these cell phone camera lights came up. and i looked out, people was cheering. i was looking at everybody, i saw the lights, and my soul just left my body. [ laughter ] and i was like, come back! she was like, no! because i don't know if you know this about miami, but that's

where the devil lives. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? >> and he was trying to snatch my soul out my body that day. >> jimmy: he got it for a while. >> he got it for about a hot hour. [ laughter ] and i went and got her back in the name of jesus, i had to get my soul back. now i don't alow cell phones at any more shows. >> jimmy: that's a good solution. >> we lock them up. >> jimmy: will you go back to miami? >> yes, actually, i'm going back this summer, and i'm going to be doing a big show. and anyone who has a ticket from new year's eve, from that night, they can get in for free. if they show the ticket. if they don't have the ticket, they can pay -- it's something like $20. and all the money that we get from that show, i'm going to donate to the department of children's services. >> jimmy: oh, good. the devil loses, then. [ cheers and applause ] >> while the devil trying to trick me, i turn it around! >> jimmy: tiffany haddish is here, we'll be right back! ant?

like going for bold without going broke... and staying true to your taste while staying on budget. who says rising costs means lowering the bar? settling? no need. get the brands you want, the prices you want, whenever you want. tj maxx where you can always afford to be you to the maxx. sometimes jonah wrestles with falling asleep... ...so he takes zzzquil. the world's #1 sleep aid brand for a better night sleep. so now, he wakes up feeling like himself. the reigning family room middle-weight champion. better days start with zzzquil nights. so this is the, uh, place!

is that... crown molding? did you do that? hold on, are you on the raisin bran crunch? good boy! do you want to see the kitchen? ♪ what if magic could happen on main street? what if i could walk into a cartoon world? if i could watch heroes save the day... ...and become a hero myself? what if stories could come to life? new surprises await at the disney100 celebration, only at the disneyland resort.

♪ thousands of women with metastatic breast cancer, are living in the moment and taking ibrance. ibrance with an aromatase inhibitor as the first hormonal based therapy. ibrance plus letrozole significantly delayed disease progression versus letrozole. ibrance may cause low white blood cell counts that may lead to serious infections. ibrance may cause severe inflammation of the lungs. both of these can lead to death. tell your doctor if you have new or worsening chest pain, cough, or trouble breathing. before taking ibrance, tell your doctor if you have fever, chills,

or other signs of infection, liver or kidney problems, are or plan to become pregnant, or are breastfeeding. for more information about side effects talk to your doctor. be in your moment. ask your doctor about ibrance.

with us. her show is called "the last o.g." your costar is tracy morgan. is tracy the richest person you know? >> i've done a lot of bar mitzvahs. i'm going to say no. >> jimmy: he is not. >> i think he's one of the richest people i know, i don't think he's the richest. he's the only person i know who, "tiffany, i had eight octopuses and i'm going to get me another one." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, he does that.

>> you know, my fish tank is crazy. >> jimmy: you've got a couple movies coming out. "secret life of pets 2." >> i got a few movies coming out. >> jimmy: two that i know of. and "the kitchen" with melissa mccarthy which is a serious like mobster film. >> yeah, that's a drama. >> jimmy: are people surprised when you're in a drama? >> people are like, tiffany, i didn't know you could really act. you can act, you're acting now. and i'm like, what have i been doing? la, da, da, da, da. yeah, i'm acting like i care what you got to say. [ laughter ] he's like, do you think we can get a selfie? i was like, can't you pay me? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how much do you charge for a selfie? >> usually i don't charge anything but because he insulted my talent. >> jimmy: i see. >> i charged him $50. he paid. he paid, too. now there's some people, they say, look, what i can't stand is

backhanded compliments. people always -- like they hit you with a backhanded compliment. those are the people i charge. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do they pay? >> yeah, they do. they do. >> jimmy: that's great. people are like, "i don't watch you but i want" -- that kind of thing. >> they say, "i haven't seen your little movie or anything." when they say little, that's already disrespect. >> jimmy: little is bad. >> i haven't seen your little movie which made what, $100 million something? my mama love you, though, can i get a picture because my mama love you? i'm like, $50. >> jimmy: that seems reasonable. >> you just insulted me on my little movie that made over $150 million, and my other movie that made $100 million. you know, whatever. >> jimmy: your success was a very long time coming. >> i'm sorry, i'm bitter. i got issues. [ laughter ] i should have took my medication.

this is really a conversation i should be having with my therapist. >> jimmy: would you like to lie down? >> where's that couch? bring the couch back, fellas. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's lots of people who love you. don't listen to those people who call things little. [ cheers and applause ] everything's big. tiffany haddish, everybody. she's got big movies. she's got a big tv show. “the last o.g.” airs tuesday nights on tbs, and “the kitche”" opens in theatres this august. tiffany haddish. we'll be right back. st time in . (woman) oh yea it was a whole new thing for us. we stayed in a room in takashi's home. (man) we told takashi that we wanted to go to a nice sushi restaurant. he was like, “i could teach yo”" (woman laughing) i think that's where the sushi party started. it was so funny... you got pretty good at it. (man) yeah i think i'm quite talented. [man and woman both laugh]

beautiful. you see how the light catches the hubcap? stunning. you sure you don't want your family in the family photos? they helped us save money when we bundled, so... yeah. same difference. okay. this one's going on the mantle.

hmmm! twix with cookie and cookie dough? kinda makes you wonder which came first. the cookie or the cookie dough? kakaaaw! so embarrassing! they'll be here in 5, we ready? - there's uh... - oh. left. left. i don't have it. i don't have it. - keep going. - we should've used behr. yeah. today let's paint. right now, get america's most trusted paint brand at a new low price starting at $28.98. behr. only at the home depot. ♪ at a new low price starting at $28.98. looking for bladder-leak protection that neutralizes odors and keeps you dry? try new depend® fresh protection™. it absorbs 25-times its weight and featuresdryshield™ technology, that protects better than pads and keeps you 2-times drier.

try depend®.

hi. i'm kelvin gordon, box man. tomorrow on jimmy kimmel, live in las vegas, kevin hart, music from marshmello, featuring churches and jimmy kimmel,

from marshmello, featuring churches and jimmy kimmel, drivesby gene chandler ♪ vegas. ♪ (no ♪ you can't hurt me no more ♪ ♪ after all the pain you sent my way ♪ ♪ (no, no, no) ♪ ♪ no, no, no, no, no ♪ ♪ (no, no, no) ♪ ♪ you can't hurt me no more, baby ♪ somedays, i cover up because of my moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. now i feel free to bare my skin, thanks to skyrizi. ♪(uplifting music)♪ ♪nothing is everything♪ i'm celebrating my clearer skin... my way. with skyrizi, 3 out of 4 people achieved 90% clearer skin at 4 months. in another study, most people

had 90% clearer skin, even at 5 years. and skyrizi is just 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine, or plan to. thanks to clearer skin with skyrizi - this is my moment. there's nothing on my skin and that means everything! ♪nothing is everything♪ now's the time. ask your doctor about skyrizi, the #1 dermatologist-prescribed biologic in psoriasis. learn how abbvie could help you save. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ wherever you go. wherever you stay. all you need is one key.

earn and use rewards across expedia, hotels.com, and vrbo. experience the feel of a dentist's clean at home. with oral-b. round cleans better by surrounding each tooth.

so clean, you'll feel like you just left the dentist. ♪ what you waiting for? ♪ oral-b. brush like a pro. ♪ come and get it. ♪

>> jimmy: welcome back. we are coming to you live from las vegas. where the golden knights are going to the playoffs for the second time in their two-year history. my cousin sal was at the game with his son last night. he was also at a game last week with hidden cameras, a metal detector, and a fake miscellaneous staff. >> come with me, come through. that side.

go like this. right foot in. right out. left foot in. >> oh, i'm sorry. >> that's all right. shake it. all about. >> i'm an old guy. i can't do this. >> turn yourself around. turn yourself around. turn yourself around. >> what? what? >> say it. >> go knights go? >> no. >> go knights go. >> no. say it. ♪ that's what it's all about ♪ >> come on, now. that was great! >> thank you so much. >> how did you find that one, huh? whoo! >> all right. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with the killers!

>> jimmy: i want to thank tiffany haddish. apologies to matt damon. “nightline” is next, but first this is their box set, “the killers career vinyl box.” here to pinch-hit for james taylor with a cover of his classic "carolina in my mind," the killers! [ cheers and applause ]

♪ ♪ ♪ in my mind i'm going to carolina can't you see the sunshine can't you just feel the moonshine ♪ ♪ ain't it just like a friend of mine to hit me from behind yes i'm going to carolina in my mind ♪ ♪ karen she's the silver sun you best walk her way and watch it shine watch her watch the morning come ♪ ♪ a silver tear appearing now i'm crying ain't i i'm going to carolina in my mind ♪ ♪ there ain't no doubt in no one's mind that loves the finest thing around whisper something soft and kind ♪

♪ and hey babe the sky's on fire i'm dying ain't i i'm going to carolina in my mind ♪ ♪ in my mind i'm going to carolina can't you see the sunshine can't you just feel the moonshine ♪ ♪ ain't it just like a friend of mine to hit me from behind yes i'm going to carolina in my mind ♪ dark and silent late last night i think i might have heard the highway calling geese in flight ♪ ♪ and dogs that bite and signs that might be omens say i'm

going going i'm gone to carolina in my mind ♪ ♪ now with a holy host of others standing round me still i'm on the dark side of the moon ♪ ♪ and it seems like it goes on like this forever you must forgive me ♪ ♪ if i'm up and gone to carolina in my mind ♪ ♪ in my mind i'm going to carolina can't you see the sunshine can't you just feel the moonshine ♪ ♪ ain't it just like a friend of mine to hit me from behind yes i'm going to carolina in my mind

♪ gone to carolina in my mind and i'm gone to carolina in my mind ♪ ♪ gone to carolina in my mind gone to carolina in my mind ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ on the corner of main street just trying to keep it in line ♪ ♪ you say you wanna move on and you say i'm falling behind ♪

♪ can you read my mind ♪ ♪ ♪ can you read my mind ♪ ♪ i never really gave up on breaking out of this two-star town ♪ ♪ i got the green light i got a little fight i'm gonna turn this thing around ♪ ♪ can you read my mind ♪ ♪ can you read my mind ♪ ♪ the good old days the honest man ♪ ♪ the restless heart the promised land ♪ ♪ a solo kiss that no one sees ♪ ♪ a broken wrist and a victory

well i don't mind if you don't mind ♪ ♪ cause i don't shine if you don't shine ♪ ♪ before you go could you read my mind ♪ ♪ it's funny how you just break down waiting on some sign ♪ ♪ i pulled up to the front of your driveway with magic soaking my spine ♪ ♪ can you read my mind ♪ ♪ can you read my mind ♪ ♪ the teenage queen the loaded gun ♪ ♪ the drop-dead dream the chosen one ♪ ♪ a southern draw a world of sin ♪ ♪ a city road a trampoline ♪ ♪ well i don't mind if you don't

mind cause i don't shine if you don't shine ♪ ♪ before you jump before you jump tell me what you find ♪ ♪ when you read my mind ♪ ♪ ♪ it's in my faith and in my bones ♪ ♪ you never returned that call ♪ ♪ come on open the door don't let it stick ♪ ♪ i want to free that fire again ♪ ♪ she said i don't mind if you don't mind ♪ ♪ cause i don't shine if you don't shine ♪ ♪ put your back on me put your back on me put your back on me ♪

♪ ♪ the stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun ♪ ♪ can you read my mind ♪ ♪ that's it, thank you! [ cheers and applause ] this is "nightline.." >>. >> juju: tonight, san francisco struggles. from deserted storefronts -- >> one store closes, the next