all of our newscasts live and on demand through the abc7 bay area. connected-tv app. it's available for apple tv, google tv, amazon fire tv and roku. download the app now. start streaming. >> all right, we want to thank you so much for watching tonight . >> i'm amanda. >> and i'm dan ashley for spencer christian, larry beale, all of us, we appreciate your time. jimmy kimmel and keanu >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- keanu reeves, judd apatow, and music from phoenix. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thank you. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice, thank you.

i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thanks for watching. thanks for standing and everything. i don't know if we have any baseball fans here. i know there aren't many of us left. but this is a particularly exciting time of the year for major league baseball. last night, history was made. aaron judge from the yankees hit his 62nd home run of the season, breaking the american league record set more than 60 years ago by another yankee, roger maris. he hit the ball 391 feet against the rangers in texas. one fan actually wound up in the rangers' bullpen. the other one caught the ball. it's estimated to be worth about $2 million. which i don't know, i'd give you one of mine for half of that. [ rim shot ] [ laughter ] thank you. the guy who did catch the ball, his name is cory youmans, turns out, he is married to one of the contestants from "the bachelor," a gal named bri. who, i will tell you, if this isn't proof that "the bachelor" knows something, i don't know if you'll ever believe in anything at all.

>> he's an amazing catch. think fast! oh my gosh, wow. nice catch, oh my gosh, i'm so impressed with you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how weird is that? come on. i mean, that's a very specific type she has. [ laughter ] i guess she found the right guy. usually the contestants on "the bachelor" are trying to not catch something. [ laughter ] meanwhile, after being in first place nearly the whole season, the new york mets did what we all knew they were going to do, they dropped into second place just in time for the playoffs. last night, this is what was going on home run-wise with them. >> he launches one to dave bryant, back goes thomas for a lock. but that is way out of here, up in the second deck. 2-0 new york. >> he got the ball. >> lucky bark in the park. he got a new play toy. >> jimmy: if that doesn't sum up the differences between the yankees and the mets. [ laughter ] from a historical perspective, i don't know what does.

the yankees are breaking records, we get a meaningless homer to air bud. [ laughter ] meanwhile, our former president, don fattingly, is weathering this storm from a new book that came out yesterday called "confidence man" written by maggie haberman of "the new york times." there's so much stuff, we didn't have time to get into even half of it last night. so consider this episode 2, "attack of the bone spurs." [ laughter ] this book gets into everything. his childhood, his campaign, his presidency, his personal life, some all one and the same. the book says that after the election in 2016, melania renegotiated her prenuptial agreement. those two crazy lovebirds. [ laughter ] they're so romantic. it's really sweet. years ago, before he proposed to his second wife, marla maples, they broke up, and she started dating michael bolton, the singer. so of course, trump had to get her back, and once he did, he took her to a michael bolton

concert just to rub it in bolton's face. he really showed michael bolton by buying two tickets to see him in concert. [ laughter ] does going to see michael bolton to assert dominance in a relationship, that's got to be the whitest thing i've ever heard anyone do, right? [ laughter ] trump, when he was running, they asked him what concerned him the most about running for president. he said "the women." because, you know. one of those women was karen mcdougal. after that story about his alleged affair with her, he made a habit of criticizing her appearance, telling people she was better-looking in 2006. his main concern wasn't that he was cheating on his wife with a "playboy" playmate, it's making sure everybody knew she was super hot when he did. [ laughter ] also, he didn't. this book goes into detail about how erratic he was in the workplace at the white house. after election day, he started asking his aides out of nowhere if they wanted pardons. as if he brought cupcakes to the office and was passing them around. [ laughter ] he had an advisor named jason

miller and kept bringing up the fact that miller and his wife were jewish even though they are not jewish. in the first case of what they call fake jews. around the white house. [ laughter ] racial and religious sensitivities were not this administration's forte. after the murder of george floyd, boy genius jared kushner suggested they have kanye west lead a church service on the south lawn of the white house. trump wisely rejected that plan in favor of an even worse idea. tear-gassing protesters so he could cross the street to pose with the bible upside-down. he had no sense of any -- well, when he heard his name was rapped, mentioned in a rap song, he said, "see? the blacks like me." and by "blacks," he was primarily referring to these three. [ laughter ] two rappers and a sleepwalker. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i don't know how many books there are about trump now. i think he's got a whole floor at barnes & noble. today, florida governor ron

desantis, you see him in his hurricane boots the other day? [ laughter ] yeah. i guess he got too fat for the rest of his stormtrooper costume. [ laughter ] you're not allowed to pass a "don't say gay" bill then show up in public dressed like nancy sinatra. [ laughter and applause ] ron got a visit by president biden to tour the destruction left by hurricane ian. they promised no politics. the president went along with the dress code. [ laughter ] last time joe biden saw a storm this big, he had to help noah collect all the pets and get them on the boat. [ laughter applaud ] yesterday, trump weighed in on the latest scandal involving herschel walker. he posted, "herschel walker is being slandered and maligned by the fake news media and obviously, the democrats." interestingly, i've heard many horrible things about his opponent, things nobody should be talking about so we don't. herschel has properly denied the charges against him, and i have no doubt" blah, blah, blah. "the daily beast" ran a story from a woman who has a check, a get-well card, and a receipt for

an abortion she says herschel walker paid for. losing a seat in georgia could cost the republicans control of the senate. and so now all the bastions of family values are coming to herschel's defense. >> i think he's a remarkable person. i think he's the most important senate candidate in the country. he'll do more to change the senate by sheer presence, by his confidence, by his deep commitment to christ, by the degree to which he is -- he's been through a long, tough prayer. he had a lot of concussions coming out of football. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the first time i've ever heard the "our candidate has brain damage" defense. [ laughter and applause ] sometimes these concussions cause abortions. you don't know what they do. [ laughter ] when newt gingrich is in your corner, you suck. [ laughter ] and then we have the mypillow guy, mike lindell, who is in serious financial trouble. he's being sued by dominion voting machines for $1.3 billion.

it doesn't look good. so he asked the supreme court to throw the lawsuit out of court. and he was very sure they'd be on his side on this. >> the supreme court will finally see, and they will accept this, i'll tell you right now, six, seven weeks they're going to accept this. it's going to be a 9-0 vote. you heard it here first. i'm telling you, it's going to be a 9-0 vote going wow. it's going to be 9-0. they're going to take this election down. it will be 9-0 because it's nonsubjective evidence. donald trump won. we got a vote 9-0 immediately to pull this down. is there any way that it would not an 9-0 vote saying this is 100% true? well, it will be 9-0, everybody. it will be absolutely 9-0. and they're going to go 9-0 that this country was attacked, the election's going to come down. donald trump will be in office by this fall! >> jimmy: yeah. >> for sure! >> jimmy: turns out he was only

right about the zero part, not the 9. [ laughter ] the supreme court said, sorry, you're on your own. so now mike has to go to court to prove he didn't do any damage, because everyone knew he was crazy when he was talking. basically has to plead insanity, which seems doable, by the way. [ laughter ] but i'm sure mike is frazzled by all this, so i wanted to check in to see how he's holding up. i don't know where he is. [ cheers and applause ] mike, where are you? mike? >> what time do they feed the goats to the komodos? they get the gets to feed them. >> jimmy: mike, can you hear me? >> holy mike cripes! jimbly krimbles. back to kick a guy when he's down. >> jimmy: no, no, i am not. i'm worried about you. where are you, by the way? >> i am at the old roadside reptile zoo off highway 71 near bemidji. >> jimmy: bimidji? is that in minnesota? >> of course it's in the great state of minnesota. whenevers i get feelin' low, i come down here to snake-o-land and relax by giving a handful o'

pinks to my old pal chuck. >> jimmy: okay. who's chuck and what are -- what's a handful of pinks? >> pinks is reptile zoo slang for baby mice. i got a whole ziploc bag full for six bucks. and chuck, well, let me tell you, he is a hungry burmese python. you ready for dinner, chuck? you ready for dinner? >> jimmy: oh! >> watch it. okay there he is. he's a beauty, huh? >> jimmy: yeah, he is for sure. >> i've known chuck for years. we met sleeping in the same sewer pipe! >> jimmy: oh, that's great. >> hey chuck, say hello to beloved hollywood pedophile joanie krinkle! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, hold on. it's nice to meet you, chuck, but i'm not a pedophile. >> oh, sure. that's what that r. kelly lady said too. [ laughter ] all right chuck, go back to sleep. anyway, what do you want? you're cutting into my snake time. >> jimmy: i wanted to ask you about the supreme court refusing to throw out the $1.3 billion lawsuit against you. >> they say i'm deliberately spreading fake theories i don't

even believe in. let me tell you, that's plumb crazy. >> jimmy: is it, though? >> the friendly jesus it is! if i didn't believe my own theories, would me and fat pete have held up a hanukkah party at gunpoint in 1988 because i claimed all them chocolate coins was real doubloons? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let me think about that for a minute. [ laughter ] no? >> hell yes, the answer's no! would i have divorced my wife, petula, cuz i caught her going on long walks with a blonde man for years who turned out to be our golden retriever, gus? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: probably not. no. >> would i have spent a decade building up a tolerance to inpa ipecac syrup so that if the feds ever tried to seize my phone, i could swallow it, and they'd never get me out of it without sifting through my toilet plums? >> jimmy: i don't know, i guess

not. mike, i think what you're saying is -- oh my god. >> argghhh! >> jimmy: you're saying you don't think you'll have any trouble proving to the supreme court this you're crazy? >> no, lemme finish chowing down these live baby mice, and i'll tell ya why i'm crazy. >> jimmy: okay. >> i used to buy crack cocaine from a fella named gustavo, who gave me a discount if i let him make love to the crook of my elbow. [ laughter ] i am as cuckoo as a cocoa puff. and pardon my french, but i will be good god dapper doodled if you think i am going to sit here and let the supreme court tell me i ain't looney tuned. >> jimmy: mike, there's a dog -- why is there a dog in the snake tank? >> because it's chuck's birthday, got him a little terrier. >> jimmy: oh my god, why would you feed a terrier to a snake? >> cuz of all the breeds, the terrier's got the sweetest meat! >> jimmy: okay, well i don't think anyone wants to see this. i'll say goodbye now. >> whatever you do, don't tell john wick! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i won't, i won't. [ laughter and applause ] >> before you go, if you or any of your cousins working at the show need any high-quality gossamer bible stories

blankets go to my website and use promo code tenderterriermeat, you'll get 30% off. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. thank you. thank you. we've got a great show for you tonight. judd apatow is here. we have music from phoenix. and we'll be right back with keanu reeves. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm your overly >> "jimmy kimmel live!'s" brought to you by allstate. steal this game from youut o just like i stole kelly carter in high school. you got no game dude, that's a foul! and now you're ready to settle the score. game over. and if you don't have the right home insurance coverage, well, you could end up paying for all this yourself. so get allstate, and be better protected from mayhem,

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[ cheers and applause ]

♪ >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. tonight, the producer of the new movie "bros," judd apatow, is here. [ cheers and applause ] then later, a great band all the way from france. their album, "alpha zulu" comes out november 4th. phoenix from the mercedes eq stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night our guests will be david spade, from the los angeles dodgers mookie betts, and we'll have music from flo. also, i want to mention that our bandleader cleto and his dad cleto sr. are both out with covid. our saxophone players. they're fine, but they can't come to work. so tonight, the great guitar legend joe bonamassa is filling in. [ cheers and applause ] this is joe's latest album, "time clocks." thanks, joe, for filling in. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: short notice. [ cheers and applause ] there's a rumor going around joe infected the cletos with the covid virus. [ laughter ] our first guest tonight is a very major movie star. he's responsible for $4.5 billion in ticket sales. what he really wants to do is write comic books.

this is his dream come true, it's called "brzrkr." volume two is out now, please say hello to keanu reeves. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: it's good to have you here. >> nice to be here, thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for coming. you know, i have to say, you don't seem like a comic book nerd. but i guess you are. >> i don't know if i rate "nerd." i might have lost my nerd card as i got older. >> jimmy: yeah. >> because when i was younger, i was pretty frigging nerdy. [ laughter ] with the comics, going to the comic bookstore, getting all the good comics. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, all that stuff. i feel like, though, when you're a kid and you're a comic book nerd, then you -- whatever. but then you hit 50, and you're still into comic books, you're a nerd. [ laughter ] >> all right, man, i'll be a nerd. >> jimmy: oh, yeah.

[ cheers and applause ] i'm the same. >> i mean, you grew up reading comics, right? >> jimmy: i'm also a nerd, yes. not just reading comics, i would do the same thing. i was writing comics and drawing the comics. >> what was your genre? superheroes? >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah. >> what were some of the names? >> jimmy: well, i had muscle man. >> the muscle man. >> jimmy: i wasn't that creative. muscle man was the king of superheroes. he had a crown to show she was the king. his logo was "muscles." like actual muscles. real lumpy muscles. he had a sidekick named color kid who had all the powers of the rainbow, which i realized later on in life are none, no powers. [ laughter ] >> he dazzled you, right? rainbow! >> jimmy: exactly. he would shoot rainbows out of his hands. i don't know what effect that had. yeah, that was my guy. then i had two teams, the

terrific ten and the terrible ten. it was ten good guys, kind of like my fantastic four. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: or whatever. >> so did you have a super villain besides the terrible ten? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. i had a lot of them. >> do tell, i want to hear about it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i had -- god. i remember like -- dr. [ bleep ]. something like that. [ laughter ] i don't know. >> no, it wasn't dr. [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: there was like an eyeball? one that was one of the guys -- >> spooky. >> jimmy: yeah. oh, there was a leprechaun called lucky lad who was kind of evil. >> ha ha ha ha ha! >> jimmy: would steal gold. >> ha ha! [ applause ] >> jimmy: maybe we could collaborate on this. >> ha ha ha! >> jimmy: because this book -- the first edition sold 650,000 copies. [ cheers and applause ] which is crazy. >> i didn't know that. >> jimmy: did you know it was the most -- it's the most

popular new character comic book of the century or something like that. that's crazy. >> um -- i -- yeah. that sounds crazy. >> jimmy: did you have any idea that when you came up with this idea -- like, did you come up with this idea? don't you have enough going on? [ laughter ] >> yeah, man. but i mean, i love telling stories. i just -- i had this idea, i went to go, you know -- i went on a general meeting, right? like you're going to go -- i met with this company called boom studios. and it was -- i was talking to them, they were talking to me. i was like -- they said, do you have any ideas? i said, yeah, i have this idea, this guy who can punch through people's chests and rip their arms out. you know, born 80,000 years ago. and they kind of went, excuse me? and i was like, yeah? they were like, do you want to make a comic? [ laughter ] and i was like -- i started to

kind of look around where i was. i noticed all these comic books. and i was like -- [ laughter ] absolutely i want to make a comic book! because i'd gone there thinking maybe it was an idea for a film. but then they were like, you know -- >> jimmy: we'll start it as a comic book. >> yeah, man. i love comics. i'd never done it before. they helped put together a super team. another writer, matt kent, legendary artist ron garney. >> jimmy: yeah, the character, berserker, he looks just like you. [ laughter ] did you say, make him look like me? was that part of the directing? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> okay, yeah. but to be fair, i'm really right for the role. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you are. you sure are. >> it's almost like type casting. i'm really right for it. >> jimmy: how mad would you be if they put somebody else in this role? i am berserker! >> i am. no, that would be awful.

>> jimmy: now what comics were you into when you were a kid? >> let's see. depends what age group. like if it was super young -- >> jimmy: yeah, young. >> going to camp, you know, on the bus, then it was -- the camp bus was richie rich. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> the archies. then as i got a little older, it was like -- kind of like the first independent thing, the fabulous furry freak brothers. did you ever read that? >> jimmy: yeah, i remember that, yeah. [ applause ] >> free will and franklin -- >> jimmy: please have that removed, whoever shouted out. [ laughter ] >> that was my first alternative kind of window when i was 12, 13, 14. then i got into the "mans." iron man, superman, batman. then i got introduced to frank miller. and boom! >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> so it was wolverine. akira. >> jimmy: the serious superheroes. >> yeah. yeah, it was like -- yeah.

>> jimmy: i know that -- marvel's been trying to get you to play one of these characters. what characters have they offered you? go ahead. [ laughter ] >> i'm not saying. you know what's really cool, i mean, i think, you know, the way the marvel films have developed and what they are is really, you know, spectacular. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and it would be great to be a part of that. >> jimmy: who would 10-year-old keanu reeves want to play? >> 10-year-old reeves? >> jimmy: yeah. >> 10-year-old reeves would want to -- i think he'd probably want to be ghost rider. >> jimmy: ghost rider. [ applause ] i've heard people say you should be ghost rider. in fact, every character they're like, keanu reeves, should be ghost rider, should be silver surfer, muscle man people are saying you should play. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> i want to play the leprechaun! i want a character role, jimmy!

>> jimmy: i like you as the leprechaun for sure. >> i want to be the leprechaun! >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. i learned something very interesting about you, something i did not know. i don't know how many people know. i assume you know. we'll learn more about keanu reeves when we come back. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i have active psoriatic arthritis. but with skyrizi to treat my skin and joints, i'm feeling this moment. along with clearer skin skyrizi helps me move with less joint pain, stiffness, swelling, and fatigue. and is just 4 doses a year after 2 starter doses. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine, or plan to. there's nothing like clearer skin and better movement-and that means everything! ask your doctor about skyrizi today. learn how abbvie could help you save. my name is jorge gaviria, and this is my business, masienda. i chose my spark cash plus card from capital one

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the thing is, i'm playing a 17-year-old body with a

40-year-old mind, okay. then i had to play with my conception of 40, which is older. you're looking at a 40-year-old going, you're old. but he's not. robert urich, he's a bouncy guy. so i was trying to get that as well. i'm basically confused. >> you are but it sounds like a juicy, challenging role and it's good that you got this one. >> yes. >> we look forward to seeing you in other things, and thank you very much. >> thank you. >> you're welcome. >> jimmy: there's ghost rider right there. [ cheers and applause ] a young ghost rider. raised in toronto -- >> i didn't know you were going to do that. [ laughter ] wow, that was a blast from the past. >> jimmy: what movie were you promoting, do you remember? >> at the time was "young again." i grew up in toronto. i wanted to be an actor when i was 15. i had an agent. i had a connection to someone who was a manager in the states. i went to meet an agent here in los angeles, and they were like, it's great but you haven't done anything, come back when you've done something. i had an agent in toronto. there was american productions

coming to do -- like they needed canadian content. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> and so i auditioned for the side role, but then they were like, hey, you can be the guy. one of the guys. you know. and i was like -- cool. [ laughter ] and so it was linsey wagner, robert urich. >> jimmy: wow, linsey wagger, bionic woman. >> well, yeah. yeah. and so it was really -- it was a big break for me, because it was -- like a movie of the week. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was a great role. and that allowed me to kind of get an agent in hollywood. >> jimmy: you came to hollywood. >> i came to hollywood when i was 20. >> jimmy: 20 years old. >> drove my car. >> jimmy: you live here now, right? >> i do, yeah. i've been living here since 1985. >> jimmy: and yet technically, you are not a u.s. citizen? >> no, man, i'm still a canadian. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're a canadian and you will always be a canadian. but is it not something that you're interested in being a u.s. citizen? >> yeah, absolutely.

>> jimmy: you are interested in it? >> yeah, man, why not? >> jimmy: why hasn't the president called and said, yeah, we'd like to sign you up? >> i'll send him some "brzrkr." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is something -- i do have the paperwork here. [ laughter ] if you wanted to fill it out, we got it. [ cheers and applause ] we even got you a pen that you can fill that out tonight, very patriotic. >> america! >> jimmy: a laminated form. thinking about applying for naturalization? >> yes, please. >> jimmy: and then is kind of -- guillermo did this by the way. was it hard, guillermo? >> guillermo: no it was real easy. you should do it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you filled out all this stuff? this is a lot of stuff to fill out. >> yeah, i did, jimmy. >> jimmy: you filled out all of these things, wow, that's impressive. or you know, i will tell you another thing. i discussed this with my wife. you and i could get married if you wanted to. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that would get you right in. >> but you're married.

>> jimmy: i know, but i told her, we might have to make some amendments. [ laughter ] >> you'd be a criminal. you'd be on the run. we'd have to be on the run, jimmy. >> jimmy: all right. i'll take that as a no, i guess, i don't know. >> that's a no. >> jimmy: boy, there's a lot of information here. but i think -- >> there is. >> jimmy: we could fill this out for you or something. >> dang. cool, man. >> jimmy: yeah, so you take this home. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: and then, you know, if it all works out, if you want to go through with it, we'd love to have a special ceremony for you here to welcome you as our newest american. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah? oh, that would be great. >> jimmy: we'll get all your favorite heroes. captain america, wonder woman will come here, it will be very patriotic. >> and the leprechaun! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and the leprechaun lucky lad will be here. >> lucky lad. that's really cool of you guys, thank you. >> jimmy: listen, we'd love to have you. >> appreciate it. >> jimmy: you would be a welcome addition to this nation. and apologies to canada. [ cheers and applause ]

>> no, no, no. wait. you can still be dual citizen, right? >> jimmy: you can still be a dual citizen. >> yeah, i don't want to -- you know. yeah. if you can -- two sometimes is better than one. >> jimmy: almost always, yeah. [ laughter ] why not have a backup? >> better for ice cream. >> jimmy: yeah. better -- yeah. >> more. >> jimmy: my wife says it's better with husbands if you want to rethink that whole thing. [ rim shot ] all right, it's great to have you. this is the book. it's super popular, it's called "brzrkr," volume two. >> it's really cool. >> jimmy: it is cool. >> there's some action, some people -- >> jimmy: there's a lot of really good drawings. your artist drew up on paper instead of on his computer, which i like. >> natural. it's good. >> jimmy: you did it all right. keanu reeves, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with judd apatow! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ -i think we got it. -yeah, let's focus on the rv. -rv? okay, everybody, look at the rv and smile. this is what you want for your family portrait?

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well well well, what have we here? a magical place... that's lookin' to get scared! with bats...and ghouls... and cars in disguise. i've cast quite a spell now... you won't believe your eyes! [laughter] the spell is cast. halloween time is back with spook-tacular experiences in disneyland and disney california adventure parks! [laughter] >> jimmy: phoenix is on the way. our next guest is the man behind almost at least half of the funny movies and tv shows you've seen this century. his latest, starring billy

eichner, is called "bros," in theaters now. >> what if the final exhibit was a recreation of a queer wedding? >> i like that. >> that i don't hate. >> that is so sweet, i love that. and people can come and register for wedding gifts here. oh my god. no! that is old fashioned hetero-normative nonsense. we need to get people to rethink history through a queer prism, not comfort them with another [ bleep ] gay wedding. it's a museum, it's not "schitt's creek." >> i love "schitt's creek." >> everyone loves "schitt's creek." that show has layers. >> everyone loves ""schitte's creek." please welcome judd apatow! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how are you? hey, do you know keanu reeves? >> he haunts me. [ laughter ] first of all, i could play berserker, let's be serious. >> jimmy: you'd an really good berserker for sure. >> every time i'm on a talk show, he's the other guest.

>> jimmy: is that right? >> then i watch my aging compared to his aging. [ laughter ] like, he doesn't age. like, i think he's older than me. i think he's five years older than me, and i look ten years older than him. [ laughter ] it's weird because i live in a house with leslie, and leslie doesn't age. >> jimmy: that's true. >> we have pictures on the wall of 25 years of marriage. and she looks exactly the same. she looks like edward from "twilight" over the centuries. [ laughter ] and i look like, you know -- looks like the montage from "up." [ laughter ] a sad montage. me falling apart. sometimes i think paul rudd bit leslie. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, she may have gotten bit by the rudd, yeah. he's another one, yeah. keanu, paul rudd. yeah, it's -- >> not me. >> jimmy: disturbing. >> not me. you look better than you used to look. [ laughter ] right? >> jimmy: see, the key is to be a mess early. a real mess early. >> because you -- like, you have gotten in shape. and i have gotten out of shape.

yet you seem to eat more now. >> jimmy: yeah. >> than when you seemed overweight. >> jimmy: maybe not more, a lot. just a lot, and fast, too. i'll eat, you know -- you'll sit down, the food's there, you'll pause, look over, and my plate's empty, gone. >> yet you don't grow. >> jimmy: well -- what i -- yeah. i don't mean -- it's probably boring. but what i do is i'm very extreme. i'm either starving or devouring. >> yes. >> jimmy: and i'm like, you know, a dog waiting for its owner to come home. then when the owner goes to work, there's nothing -- unless you want to eat the couch, there's nothing. >> that's a very unhealthy approach. [ laughter ] i'll look at your instagram, which also is, you know -- >> jimmy: full of food. >> you have friends who are chefs. >> jimmy: right. >> which like -- if i had friends who are chefs, i would be 700 pounds. [ laughter ] i can't have friends who can do that. >> jimmy: so you don't go -- do you go out to eat? >> i do, but i stopped eating red meat. >> jimmy: you did? partially for health, partially because we feel bad for the

cows. >> jimmy: you do? >> then every time we want to eat red meat, we go on instagram and watch videos of people who play with their cows like their dogs. so i'll show you. >> jimmy: you have one at the ready? >> yeah. so -- >> jimmy: can we all see your pass code? [ laughter ] >> oh, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: would that be cool? you need to do facial i.d.? >> if you watch this, you won't eat red meat. >> jimmy: oh. i got to tell you, this is actually making me hungry. [ laughter ] oh, look at that. ironically, that ball seems to be made of leather. [ laughter ] he's chasing around his friend. so no red meat. are you eating chicken? >> i've met chickens, every time i see one, "i'd eat you, i don't care." chickens are jerks, i'll eat them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: personality thing? >> very much a personality thing. >> jimmy: interesting, wow. yeah, so you're really ascribing

human traits to an animal that doesn't actually have them? >> what was that movie, the octopus? >> jimmy: yeah, well that -- you know what? it's weird. i had a big conversation about this. i don't eat octopus anymore because of that movie. but everything else, i will eat, everything. >> yeah. because he seemed like a friend. >> jimmy: too smart for us to be eating them. i worry they're going to exact revenge. [ laughter ] they have a lot of arms. >> you have to worry about the robots and the singularity. the octopus effect. >> jimmy: be nice to robots, be nice to octopi as well. your family is doing well? >> doing well. >> jimmy: your daughter, i see her in all these tv shows and movies and stuff like that. >> yes. maud is on "euphoria" right now. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: "euphoria," right. >> which i'm happy about, but i also, you know -- she -- you want your kids to surpass you. but not that fast. [ laughter ] like, i don't want her to have kids so i can have grand kids. >> jimmy: right. >> but i'd like to be young when it happens.

"dad, i can't have kids, i play a 16-year-old on a high school show." i'm like, "i've seen that show, i don't think it would be that weird." [ laughter ] then have your baby play the baby, two salaries. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's true. are you feeling lonely? >> yes. >> jimmy: you mentioned grandkids. in the house? >> they moved out. they're out. now it's just me and leslie. i can be -- that can be hard because, you know, we're together all the time. >> jimmy: right. >> we went on vacation for a week, 21 meals. that's 21 hours of conversation. and if it's -- if it lulls for a second, leslie is like, "is it over? is that it? are we done? we've got nothing left to say." i'm like, "you're always with me, what anecdote happened when you're not around?" sometimes i know i'm telling her a story i've told her before, i can see it in her eyes. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> i've heard this before. but she's kind of waiting to see if i'll punch it up. and i never punch it up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but she never stops you? >> she'll listen to it, like,

what else? >> jimmy: that's real love. by the way, why do you have a drugstore bag here with you? >> i find that, you know, a lot of people in the business, they have sponsorships, they do commercials. it's a big part. do you do commercials for products? >> jimmy: sometimes, yeah. >> so i've never done that. >> jimmy: never done a commercial? >> no one's ever wanted me. i kind of wanted to show the products that i use. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. >> maybe i could lure one of those companies. oh, judd's really -- >> jimmy: these are products you actually enjoy? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, great, all right. >> i'll use this product. it's called fritos. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, i've heard tell of them. [ applause ] what do you use those for? >> there's a commercial, i'd be like, "fritos, when you run out of doritos." [ laughter ] right? >> jimmy: okay, maybe we'll get your pitch for each item. >> this one? >> jimmy: oh, i -- yes, i know that. >> i use this. since i was a kid, never stopped.

>> jimmy: is that right? >> addicted to it. >> jimmy: huh. >> couldn't i be like the jewish irish guy? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: irish spring, yeah. >> we like it too! >> jimmy: we like it too? >> we like it too. >> jimmy: then you have to whistle. ♪ we like it too ♪ >> jimmy: i like that. >> i wear these a lot. nike socks. >> jimmy: i wear those too, have them on right now. >> yeah, see? nike socks. "we make things other than shoes." [ laughter ] oh, this is one i really should be -- i should get the diet coke account. >> jimmy: okay. >> you know? "diet coke, trump has 11 a day, look how good he's doing." [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm more of a coke zero man myself, but i like that. >> much better, much better. >> jimmy: your agent will contact these companies? >> you're going to see these commercials. >> jimmy: see if we can do this business? >> instagram promotions. >> jimmy: you know i imagine all you're going to get out of this is a lot of socks and a lot of fritos. >> you know what?

pretty good, pretty good. >> jimmy: you'll take it, right. [ laughter ] this movie "bros," i had billy eichner here promoting it in advance of the movie's release. and i told him, and i wonder how you feel about this as producer of the film, who helped bring this to life, how interested i was in gay dating. and i don't mean that in the way it sounded. >> no, we know, we know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but i'm interested in the nuances. >> the details. >> jimmy: the details. because it's different. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you -- did you get in all of that stuff when you were working on the movie? >> well, it seems very, like, apps-driven. tinder. grinder. >> jimmy: i see. >> i always wonder if i would have been good at that. i've been married 25 years. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> would i have been -- i feel like you'd swipe past me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, i feel the same way. >> like, this is all you saw. you just saw this. you'd be like, okay, what else we got? [ laughter ] you know? texting, i feel like if i was

young, to meet women -- i might be funny on a text before you saw the face. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, text -- >> for me it was always, the humor could push it over the top of the hesitancy. >> jimmy: uh-huh, all right. what you're saying is you're going to -- you're sticking around for a while? as far as leslie goes? >> yeah. i'm in way over my head. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. "bros" is in theaters now. movie theaters like the old days. judd apatow, everybody. be right back with phoenix! ♪

>> jimmy: thanks to keanu reeves and judd apatow. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, their album "alpha zulu" comes out november 4th. here with the title track, phoenix! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ take a moment to decide to compromise ♪ ♪ you let me know some other time some other day ♪

♪ you're now closer to the start than to the limit ♪ ♪ take a bow vow to the sky ♪ ♪ if you want to wait great ♪ ♪ woo ha singing hallelujah ♪ ♪ pray to your god cover your lies ♪ ♪ god or guru hey hey hey ♪ ♪ woo ha singing hallelujah ♪ ♪ run for your life cover your eyes ♪ ♪ alpha zulu hey hey ♪ ♪ tell me why don't tell me when don't tell me how ♪ ♪ i must have died at fifty-one in 1953 ♪ ♪ just accounting to the stars the only reason i'm allowed ♪ ♪ there's a purple cloud in the consomme ouais ♪ ♪ woo ha singing hallelujah ♪ ♪ pray to your god cover your lies god or guru hey hey hey ♪ ♪ woo ha singing hallelujah ♪ ♪ run for your life cover your eyes alpha zulu ♪ ♪ why choose your body over time why choose your body over time with me ♪

♪ why choose your body over time why choose your body over time with me ♪ ♪ hey hey hey ♪ ♪ ♪ get your close up to sublime the alibi your mona lisa immortalized decapitate ♪ ichange i wouldn't try another second till i rise a hologram waiting for the tie-break ♪ ♪ woo ha singing hallelujah ♪ ♪ pray to your god cover your lies god or guru hey hey hey ♪ ♪ woo ha singing hallelujah ♪ ♪ run for your life cover your eyes alpha zulu ♪ ♪ why choose your body over time why choose your body over time with me ♪ ♪ why choose your body over time why choose your

body over time with me ♪ ♪ hey hey hey hey hey hey ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ hey hey hey ♪ ♪ ♪ hey hey hey ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪

this is "nightline." >> tonight, matthew mcconaughey, the oscar-winning actor taking on a new role. >> these are the same green converse that have turned out to be the only evidence that couldified her at the shooting. how about that? >> helping congress pass their first major gun control bill in more than 30 years. >> the green lights grant initiatives. it will one, get the word out that this money is