>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, david duchovny, "the bachelor" zach shallcross, and music from lukas graham featuring mickey guyton with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪

[ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. thank you so much. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thank you. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. well, i got to tell you something. well, if you guys are happy now, wait until you see what i have to show you. just when you think you've seen donald trump at his trumpiest, he shows up at a funeral and sets a new world record. for ridiculousness. fiberace flew to north carolina this weekend to attend a memorial service for one of his biggest fans, diamond of "diamond and silk," remember these two? they loved donald trump. well, diamond passed away a couple of weeks ago, leaving behind a family, friends, and hundreds of videos praising the man who showed up to return the favor. trump appeared before a sitting room-only crowd. 150 mourners gathered to hear

him speak about their beloved diamond. and he almost did. he almost spoke about her. trump rattled on for 44 minutes. he covered a wide range of topics, including nafta, tax cuts, crowd size, illegal immigration, the election, why they don't put melania on magazine covers anymore, the space force. it was quite a performance and he got it in just before tomorrow when the oscar nominations come out. >> inflation a death sentence for a country. you just can look back over the last 200 or 300 years, and you look at what inflation has done to many other countries. it is an absolute death sentence. but your sister diamond was taken from us much too soon. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: inflation -- inflation killed diamond? i don't know. and by the way, we're just getting started! >> i've done a tremendous amount of work for the african american

population, the black population. and i always ask, what do you like better, african american, black, you know, there is many different terms. they said we like black. we like black. because i was always saying african american. but many people said we like black. >> jimmy: dr. martin luther king jr.'s dream has finally come true. it was more of a me-logy than a eulogy. it was entirely about donald trump. he even managed to somehow work in a story about nbc begging him to sign on for more seasons of "the apprentice." >> when i did "the apprentice," it became the number one show on television, and it did well for years. and then i said i'm going run for president, and they said no, please. and the head of nbc came, head of reality television came, they all came to my office to try and get me to sign a five-year

contract. three years, five years, we'll do whatever you want to do. i said no, you can get somebody else. and they recommended arnold schwarzenegger. now arnold schwarzenegger is a big movie star, right? well, he did really poorly. he got no ratings. that thing was a disaster. well, they got martha, too, right? martha stewart. they put her in there. that was a disaster. >> jimmy: anyway, back to the deceased. who we miss so dearly. this speech had all the sincerity and grace you could possibly expect from a man who buried the mother of his children at the 16th hole of his golf course. and the craziest thing is i bet he thinks it went great. i bet he feels like he just won a soul train award. >> make america great again. it's such a great -- there has never been a phrase like that. i think it was -- when people said what --? because i do nicknames for people. probably a lot you have heard this, crooked hillary and so many others, low energy. remember low energy? i mean we can go through the

whole pocahantas. she said she was an indian. so i called her pocahantas. and everyone said oh, that's terrible. >> that person was our president, okay? this is a funeral. 44 minutes of this! it was like a tone def comedy jam. >> perhaps most famously, she said "we classy and we sassy, but if you cross us, things may get nassy." >> jimmy: i think we just found his new campaign slogan. [ applause ] we classy, we sassy. could we see that one more time, please? >> we classy and we sassy, but if you cross us, things may get nassy. >> jimmy: ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country's nassy ass.

by the way, trump wasn't the only notable to show up at the service. diamond got a considerably more emotional tribute from the my pillow guy! >> you are looking down from heaven, and you're giving us courage to keep going in this spiritual battle of biblical proportions to save our country and move -- and move forward in the greatest revival for jesus christ in history. we love you, diamond! >> jimmy: use promo code "ripdiamond" for 20% off a mypillow pet bed. [ applause ] wow. meanwhile, con man -- i mean congressman george santos is hotter than ever! thanks to this video, that either does or does not confirm he was at one time a drag queen in brazil. ♪ >> jimmy: wow.

he may lie, but those hips don't, i tell you that. this is some story. reports say santos' drag name was "kitara ravache." and on saturday, the artist formerly known as "kitara" actually answered a question for once. >> congressman, were you ever a drag queen in brazil? >> no, i was not a drag queen in brazil, guys. i was young and i had fun at a festival. sue me for having a life. >> jimmy: come on, guys. he was young and he had fun at a festival. that's going to be my excuse from everything from here on. i was young and i had fun at a festival. i don't know. and what a great position the republicans are in on this. fox news, i don't know if any of you watch, but they spend every night railing against drag shows, like there is some epidemic. now they've gotta suck it up and stand by curious boy george. over on the other side, another new batch of classified items were found at joe biden's house.

how big is this house? this is a three bedroom house in suburban delaware. is there an underground bat cave we don't know about? where are they finding all this stuff? a spokesman for the feds said, "the f.b.i. on friday executed a planned, consensual search of the president's residence in wilmington." i like that they use the word consensual. that's a little nut shot at trump, right? for 13 hours, investigators searched every inch of biden's house, every safety bar in every bathroom, his phone book collection, his pill organizer boxes, the horn on his victrola, they even took the plastic off his loveseat. no hard candy dish was left unturned. and they're comin' for his box of polident next! speaking of old, this thursday, january 26th, will be our 20th anniversary on the air. [ cheering and applause ] thank you very much. we have been on since 2003.

we have a special show in prime time on thursday to celebrate. 20 years is a long time. we've had many highs and lows along the way. and we'll bring you some of the lows on thursday, but tonight, i thought it might be fun to look back at one of the highs. this is one of my favorite days. this aired on november 13th, 2017, which was my 50th birthday. and the staff wrote and shot this in secret as a gift for me. when i was around 9 or 10 years old, i drew this comic book, okay? this is a comic book i drew. oh, hold it here? you don't have to say aww. awww, you were a sad little boy, weren't you. this is like my "fantastic four," "the terrific ten." the main heroes are "muscle man" there in the yellow. he wore a crown. he is the king of super heroes. and then there is color kid. color kid had all the powers of

the rainbow, there is color kid, which are none, by the way. there was a leprechaun named "lucky lad." all these different characters. this is the bad guy right there, dr. bolton, some of his hench people. and the terrible 10 including bleach master, which was a box of bleach with an ax. i was a strange and lonely boy. so anyway, my staff asked j.j. abrams to direct a movie adaptation of this comic book using the dialogue from the comic book that i wrote as a kid. so here it is, the trailer for the greatest superhero story never told, "the terrific ten." enjoy. >> between the terrific and the terrible. soon you'll all be under my control. >> sources confirm the super villain known as dr. bolt is plotting to literally destroy the earth and wishes to invite

muscleman to do battle now. >> what's the plan, muscleman? >> assemble the team, super duck. top speed. >> that's the only speed. ♪ >> we are the terrific ten. color kid, my sidekick. >> color me ready! >> super duck! >> release is quacken. >> spire, god of weapons. >> who wants to go clubbing? >> mirgiv, god of wonders. >> abracadabra, you're abra ca-dead. >> meinstrom, god of weather. >> it's going to be cloudy with a chance of justice. >> bendolite. >> all's well that bends well. >> lucky lad. >> feeling lucky? >> super sal. >> silent but deadly. >> laser lass. >> i'm the lady one. >> and me, muscle man, king of the superheroes.

>> i am a man, with muscles. ♪ >> dr. bolt, i got your invitation. i hope you don't mind. i brought a plus nine. >> your power is over. >> oh, boy. >> this control activates my atomic bomb, which can destroy the entire earth. >> well, then, don't hit that button. >> my dominance over you! >> and now i shall unleash the most terrible of my terrible ten. behold, the bleach master! >> what's up?

>> really, a box of bleach? >> oh, and you're so great? what do you have the power of, a gym membership? >> he's got multiple gym memberships. >> i'm sorry, remind us again what your power is? >> have i all the powers of the rainbow. >> oh, so what? you eat skittles? >> i put smiles on people's faces, okay, man? >> uh, okay. >> wait, what's happening? >> and what about super duck? he super suck. >> no, i don't. i can fly. >> what about leprechaun elvis over there. >> what does that mean? >> makes you look stupid. >> quiet, please. >> i look like a yoga instructor. boned a claw machine. >> i'm a box of bleach. >> shut up! shut up! we all suck. you know why? we were created by a weird, sad kid. who grew to later become a weird fat man. >> [ bleep ] you!

[ cheering and applause ] >> i mean, he didn't even draw us genitalia. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: anatomically correct. all right. we have a good show for you tonight. the new bachelor, zach is here with us tonight. we've got music from lukas graham. and we'll be right back with david duchovny. so stick around. ♪ abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by audi. ♪ to look good... it's built to command attention. it's not just a comfortable interior... it's a quiet refuge. they're not just headlights...

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>> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. tonight from "the bachelor" right here on abc, the bachelor zach shallcross is with us. [ cheering ] later, a band from copenhagen, denmark, their album, "4 (the pink album)," just came out last week. lukas graham featuring mickey guyton from the mercedes-benz stage. [ applause ] this week, as i mentioned, is our 20th anniversary weekend. we've got new shows with julia louise dreyfus, rose byrne, bobby cannavale, d'arcy carden. music from haley whiters. and on wednesday, eddie murphy will join us for our final show of the year. >> guillermo: fantastic! >> jimmy: i know, right? and on thursday night, we are celebrating our 20th with a reboot. our first guests on our first show back in 2003 were george clooney, snoop dogg, and coldplay. on thursday in prime-time at 10:00 and in regular time, i'm pleased to say they will all be back here with us.

[ cheering and applause ] it's going to be a fun night, so i hope you'll join us. our 20th anniversary in prime time at 10:00 here on abc thursday night. our first guest tonight made his first appearance here back in 2004. he is still going strong. you can see him alongside a star-stuffed cast in the new movie, "you people." it premieres friday on netflix. please welcome david duchovny. [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: very "star trek" tonight, are you? >> a little bit. i don't know what's going on. i usually don't try it on before i come out here. sometimes it works and sometimes it does not. >> jimmy: david, you know who you muscle man. you look like the king of super heroes. >> how the f did you cast ben affleck instead of me? >> jimmy: i don't know how it happened, but i'm glad that it

just did. >> you're not the only lonely friendless boy who wrote a graphic novel. >> jimmy: is that for real? can i see? "kepler." >> we just published it, i believe, in june. or maybe -- >> jimmy: you wrote this? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't know this about you. are you kidding me? >> j.j. abrams is out there watching still, this has not been optioned yet. and jimmy, you're welcome to audition, even though i had no chance. >> jimmy: i would love to play -- i gladly accept your invitation to play kepler. my accountant's last name is kepler actually. yeah, yeah, no, not. how you doing? well, that's pretty cool. i like that. were you a comic book nerd as a kid? >> i wasn't. but this was sort of a sci-fi idea i had for a novel. and i never tried sci-fi before, and it met morphed into a comic

book. >> jimmy: it's fun to me. seeing that movie with these characters coming to life. >> it must have been a blast. >> jimmy: is incredible. >> like a full two hours too. >> jimmy: just seeing -- just seeing your characters drawn is kind of fun, isn't it? >> it is. because i do not draw at all. like if try to do story boards, if i'm directing, whatever, it's stick figures. and i do the nose on the side to show you which way he is pointing. >> jimmy: and that's it? >> that's about all i can do. >> jimmy: i mentioned you were on our show in 2004. first of all, thank you for being on our show in 2004, because we didn't have any good people except you for the most part. years ago. >> thank you, i think. >> jimmy: before that, when i was on the radio at kroq here in los angeles. >> doing the sports. >> jimmy: you're really one of the few people i had a preexisting relationship with. >> and i hope it doesn't feel weird, but i was so proud of you when you started doing so well on the show here. >> jimmy: well, thank you. it doesn't feel weird. unless there is something -- well, thank you. [ applause ] you know i -- i was like an "x files" nut.

i'm wondering. >> you were? >> jimmy: i am still, i guess. it's one of my all-time favorite shows for sure, as i've told you many times. probably too many times. by the way, are you still getting -- they just released that -- they don't call them ufos anymore. they're uaps. two weeks ago they released another report. did everybody contact you about it? >> no, no. if people do, i'm so out of it and so old, really, that i was doing an interview and somebody was asking about ufos. and they said, you know, something about this new ufo cache whatever. has anybody dmed you. and i was like oh, dm you, is that what they call ufos now? dmus? i haven't heard of this dmu. what does that stand for, dmu. demilitarized unidentified? >> jimmy: now that you said it.

so you're not paying attention to any of that stuff anymore? >> i never did, really. i just got my scripts. >> jimmy: you must absolutely love hearing about it all the time. >> i really don't mind. i don't mind at all. i can't share the interest, but i don't mind your interest. >> jimmy: you had a great triumph on our show back in 2004. you remember what i'm talking about? >> how can i forget. >> jimmy: let me show a photograph. this is we, for whatever reason, probably not a good one, had a rascal scooter race. and you can see that is chris myers, who did the play by play. me and my cousin sal, uncle frank, the great jeff gordon. and you. we raced on rascal scooters in our parking lot. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you can see who is holding the trophy there. so there is not going to be any drama. but let's play that. let's show that clip. >> incredible speeds, and it is david duchovny!

i can't believe it. >> wow, he did it! >> lou: jimmy kimmel is second and jeff gordon a disappointing third. [ applause ] >> jimmy: how did we beat jeff gordon? >> i didn't remember that. i stopped and actually usain bolt taunted you. >> jimmy: you did. >> and how did we beat jeff gordon? it was all lane assignment. i had the inside lane. you had is second, he had the worst lane, the third. and you floor it immediately. it only goes 4 miles per hour. there is no skill involved. i stayed on the inside lane and won easily. >> jimmy: okay, all right. well, if you want to downplay your accomplishments, that's fine. but the fact of the matter is i weighed at least 50 pounds more than jeff gordon did, probably 60 or 70 pounds more. >> right. >> jimmy: so that's a disadvantage. >> i remember jeff gordon was a little pissed off too. >> jimmy: i don't blame him. >> i would be too. i'm not a good driver. >> jimmy: well, you know what?

i do want to mention this mel brooks thing. they're making a hulu series called "the history of the world part 2." nick kroll, wanda sykes. a huge cast of comedy stars. you're part of this. >> and me. >> jimmy: and you. you've done many things yourself. who do you play? >> i play howard cosell. >> jimmy: howard cosell. >> you remember howard cosell? >> jimmy: i hope they do. do you do the whole wig, the whole deal? >> i do the wig. i look like walter matthau. i didn't know i did a howard cosell necessarily until i got there. >> jimmy: everybody kind of does a howard cosell. >> exactly. of our generation, if i may say. >> jimmy: i know what you're saying. a lot of people don't know who howard cosell. but it's a great character to play. did you practice? did you review old tapes of howard? >> i did a little bit. and then i was actual -- i

actually was able to talk to his grandson collin cosell, who i then cast in a movie i directed of bucky f'ing dent. >> jimmy: is that right? >> i did the full thing there. >> jimmy: collin is the pa announcer for the mets. >> wow, you're good. >> jimmy: and kind of sounds like howard cosell. >> a little bit. >> jimmy: it's always a little bit weird. >> i called collin. and i said what are the bullet points of the cosell imitation? and he gave them to me. >> jimmy: what are the bullet point? >> i don't remember them anymore. >> well, jimmy, i see that you've turned 50, and i applaud that, but i have to say i see before you the shell of a former talk show host that i used to know and love. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i like subtle howard cosell. david duchovny is here. his new movie is called "you people." we'll be right back. [ cheering ] ♪ ♪ you i lane (get out my lane) ♪ ♪ you in my way (get out my way) ♪ ♪ you crossed that line (you crossed that line) ♪

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i'm sorry about my mom. she is literally a moron. >> i like your braids. >> thank you. >> exhibit had braids. >> yeah. >> you remember that show "pimp my ride?" that was a blast. i loved that show. he seemed like such a cool dude, such a gentleman. you ever bump into him on any of your show things? >> no. >> oh. is he still in the rat game? >> dad, stop. >> what? >> just like producing sound. >> i like x to the z. >> dad! >> what can i say? >> jimmy: that is david duchovny in "you people." it premieres friday on netflix. this is a very funny movie, and you're very funny in it.

>> thank you. it is funny movie. that cast is amazing. >> jimmy: great cast. you, your wife. julia louis-dreyfus plays your wife. jonah hill plays your son. eddie murphy plays kind of opposing father-in-law. >> yeah, yeah. and lauren london. >> jimmy: and you and julia just do everything in your power to ingratiate yourselves to this black family. >> yes, the opposite fact. >> jimmy: yes, yes. and jonah hill, did you know jonah hill before this? >> well, no. it's funny, because i'm playing his father, which is something. in your career, when you start playing people's fathers, it's something. but when -- not something to celebrate at all. so i don't remember what year it was, but i was doing your show, and i don't remember what i was doing at 4:00, but jonah was the second guest. and i had seen "super bad" because i was friends with judd. and i had seen a screening of "super bad." it was just to be come out.

i went into jonah's dressing room to say oh, my god, you're a star. you're amazing. you're so great in this film. and i remember jonah look at me like what the [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: did he remember that? >> i didn't bring it up. >> jimmy: didn't bring it up at all? >> maybe i didn't remember it until we were starting to talk about coming back, you're retrospectively looking back. i just remembered that that had happened. >> jimmy: he had a moment where he looked at you and felt like you were a father to him. >> at this moment, yes, we could have used that in the film. we missed that chance. >> jimmy: did you get to spend any time with eddie murphy? >> yeah, just working, sure. spent some sometime with eddie, sure. >> jimmy: how was that? >> i mean, he is an amazing performer, and a really solid guy. i enjoyed everybody on the set. >> jimmy: i know. but he's eddie murphy. i know you enjoyed everybody on the set. but did you like make any attempt to really kind of bond with eddie or accidentally walk into his trailer?

>> i said exhibit had braids. >> jimmy: exhibit, by the way was in the "x files" movie with you. >> that's completely random true. kenya barris, the brilliant writer/director of this movie, he just came up with this riff. >> jimmy: oh, that was unrelated? >> yeah. i play arnold. he is a podiatrist who has a thing for exhibit. and every time i open my mouth in front of black people, i start to talk about exhibit. so the weird thing was, i co-starred with exhibit in the first or second "x files" movie. kenya had no idea of that. so after i did the first riff on set, because i believe it was improved by kenya for me, i googled a picture of me and exhibit from the "x files" movie, and he was oh my god. >> jimmy: does exhibit know that you talk about him? >> i suppose he does now. >> jimmy: i yeah, i hope so. you also sing and play piano in the movie. >> yeah.

>> jimmy: and that is a very funny scene. was that improvised as well? >> in a way it was. kenya kind of left me to do what i want to do with that, go learn the song or whatever. and i went and i learned the song with a voice teacher, believe it or not. when you watch, you'll see. [ laughter ] and so but because of covid, it was like the height of covid or one of the heights of covid when we were shooting it. and netflix has really strict protocol. so i had to show up super early, test twice, i think, was i was going to sing. singing is the most dangerous thing you can do. >> jimmy: that's right. that's what they said. >> i could bring a bazooka and a full arsenal, and they would give less of a [ bleep ] than if i was going to sing in front of you. >> jimmy: yeah. >> a deadly act. >> jimmy: we weren't allowed to have trumpets or trombones in our band for a long time negative, wind instruments. >> so i had to go and record

the song in a house where we're shooting alone, and then i had to choose which version of the song i was going to lip-synch too, because they weren't going to allow me to actually sing in front of the camera. i had to learn the ins and outs of the song i sang that morning to lip-synch it. and then they cleared the room. i wanted to show off in front of eddie and julia. i get to sing this funny song, check it out, and i was all alone in a room. i sing it. and after i'm done singing it and spraying my stuff all over the room, they fumigate the room. and you couldn't shoot in there for an hour. i felt like a total pariah. >> jimmy: that's very sad. well, it came out funny. whatever you guys had to do to get there. you're directing a movie right now. >> yeah, from a novel i wrote called "bucky f'ing dent." >> jimmy: "bucky f'ing dent." bucky was a short stop, the mvp of the world series in 70. >> yep. >> jimmy: in 70 -- >> you know better than me. you know more about ufos and baseball. >> jimmy: i remember that was a

traumatic world series. i think it was either '77 or '78. >> it's really a father-son story. my editor is in the audience tonight, jamie nelson and crystal. >> jimmy: i was wondering if your editor was in the audience. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you know, we've had -- >> services. >> jimmy: in 20 long years, we've never had anyone shout out their editor in the crowd. >> that's the key, jimmy. editors are the unsung heroes of the movie business. >> jimmy: that's true. and we're going edit this part of the interview out. [ laughter ] david duchovny, everybody. "you people" premieres friday on netflix. we'll be back with bachelor zach. ♪

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♪ >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. lukas graham is on the way. earlier today america watched our next guest meet 30 beautiful

women, kiss 7 of them, dump 10 of them, and get licked behind the ear once. please welcome our newest bachelor, zach shallcross. ♪ well, it's good to meet you. congratulations i guess, is that what we would say? >> i think so. congrats on 20 years by the way. >> jimmy: thank you very much. i appreciate it. [ applause ] i know that i was informed of something kind of interesting. this is not your first time here at the show. >> no. this is actually my second time. first time i was here a couple of years ago with one of my good friends. actually, one of the producers in your show got me some pretty cool seats. top left corner right up there. >> jimmy: oh, were you way in the back? >> a little nosebleedy. >> jimmy: we should put a plaque, the bachelor once sat here in the bachelor's seat. this is a photo you took backstage. you look very different there.

how long ago was this? >> great question. three years ago? >> jimmy: three years ago? >> yeah. >> jimmy: boy, they cleaned you up for this bachelor, didn't they? you look like me on the way into work in that picture. so you were on "the bachelorette." you were in the top three. and what, you kicked yourself out of the show, right? >> kind of. yeah. >> jimmy: after the fantasy suite. >> yes. >> jimmy: was it in the fantasy suite you decided you no longer wanted to be on the show? >> yeah, absolutely. >> jimmy: happen had in there? >> it's a great question. >> jimmy: something weird? >> yeah. what do you think happened? >> jimmy: i think you soiled the bed. [ laughter ] and you said you know what? i got to get out of here now. >> i'm out. something along those lines. we'll keep it at that. we'll just keep it at that. >> jimmy: oh, this is good too. your uncle is -- >> yes.

>> jimmy: patrick warburton who played putty on seinfeld and the tick. so you have show business in your blood kind of. >> a little bit. i mean, it's kronk. everyone loves kronk. he had a lot of advice and support for me. >> jimmy: did he give you advice? what did he say? >> interestingly enough, only a little bit, because he is like dude, this world of reality tv is another beast. and he was beyond shocked. because he was part of it a little bit last season. >> jimmy: was he happy that you were on the show? >> mmm -- >> jimmy: not that happy. >> he's supportive. i'll just say that. >> jimmy: all right. all right. how did the whole putty family react to you being on "the bachelor"? >> the whole putty family and my family found out the same time i did actually. so there is the live finale and they did the announcement. >> jimmy: oh that was real where you found out you were going to be the bachelor live there. >> moments before was it concerned. i had pure shock. my family was oh my god, it's actually happening. >> jimmy: do they ask you

beforehand, hey, if you pick you, will you be? or is it just you're the bachelor! go! >> it's more like that. >> jimmy: is it really? they just assume that because you're there you would accept being the bachelor? >> there is a good chance of it. a couple of conversations. and i thought it would be a great opportunity and ready for love again. my family has been super excited. but my sisters have kind of lost their interest in "the bachelor." >> jimmy: because you're on it? >> so they've been die-hard fans for years. and once they learned oh, wait, i'm going to have to watch my brother be the one in the hot tub, i'm good, i'm good. so they won't watch. >> jimmy: that's understandable, i think. by the way, one of our producers has a theory, laura, that "the bachelor" is a cult. and she printed out a list for me of the characteristics of a cult. i want you to tell me if any -- any of these apply. sleep deprivation.

members must stay awake for extended periods of time. >> correct. >> jimmy: check. charismatic leader that would be you. members are zealous, protective and unquestioningly committed to a living, charismatic leader. >> sure. >> jimmy: check. cohabitation. members are encouraged or required to live and socialize with other group members. absolutely check. isolation. members experience physical separation from their family, friends, and society. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: check. games. games with obscure rules are introduced. check arooney. >> yeah. >> jimmy: love bombing. creating a sense of belonging through hugging, kissing, touching, and flattery. there is a bit of love bombing. >> jimmy: that's the whole frigging show. >> a little bit. >> jimmy: and finally, common goal. the group claims to pursue a common goal, which in this case is getting a ring from you. >> the right reasons. >> jimmy: this is a cult that we're airing on television on a

disney owned television network. [ applause ] and you're their david koresh. i have news for you. so is it overwhelming when you're presented with 30 women who are all suddenly hot for you without ever having met you? >> yeah, yeah. it was a shock. and at the live finale, i actually met five of them. and i forgot everyone's name. >> jimmy: you did, yeah. i would do that too. >> just lost everything. it was terrifying. >> jimmy: do you remember the names of all 30 of the women who were on the show with you? >> you know, it was so scarring at the live finale that i didn't mess up a name again throughout the entire season. >> jimmy: so if i were to put up all 30 of the women and one of them -- [ applause ] i'm not going to ask you to name them because that's ridiculous. but if one of them wasn't the bachelorettes, would you be able to find that woman? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: okay. put it up on the wall. there they are.

>> should i walk. >> jimmy: you can look at it closely and examine and figure out if somebody looks unfamiliar to you. [ laughter ] by the way, we're all hoping you get it wrong! [ laughter ] >> wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i promise, we didn't screw around. there is one person who is not on your show. i'm not lying, i promise. >> jimmy, don't do this. >> jimmy: i'm not doing anything. i'm just right here. >> jimmy: that's the one? >> that's the one. right? >> jimmy: as a matter of fact, yes. that's a member of our studio audience tonight. [ applause ] we asked her to take a picture and stuck it to the wall.

that's good. that's got to be a relief. did you find love? did you find the one, the woman of your dreams? >> hmm. >> jimmy: you can't say. >> unfortunately. >> jimmy: now i'm going to say the odds are no. >> i'll tell you this. i found love. i did. >> jimmy: you did? >> i found love. absolutely. >> jimmy: you found love. what does that mean, you found love. >> you're going to have the see what that looks like. >> jimmy: okay. all right. well, we'll see, i guess. "the bachelor." you can watch it. see if zach is indeed telling the truth about finding love. monday nights here. they lie a lot, by the way. monday nights on abc. they're cult leaders. they're programmed to lie. thank you, zach. zach shallcross, everybody. we'll be back with lukas graham. ♪

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>> jimmy: thanks to david duchovny and zach, "the bachelor." apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next but first, their latest is called "4 (the pink album)." here with the song, "home movies," and some help from mickey guyton, lukas graham! [ cheering and applause ]

♪ there's a boy i don't know what he's hiding he's got his mother's eyes ♪ ♪ and his daddy's charm just the right mix and there's a girl ♪ ♪ she knew where to find him in the local bar ♪ ♪ smokin in the dark it was perfect timing but what they ♪ ♪ both didn't know is how far this thing would go ♪ ♪ and they might not want the truth but if they do ♪ ♪ play em our home movies if they wonder who i was even if they don't ♪ ♪ then play em just because let em see the highlights and don't forget the lows ♪

♪ everybody's got a story no one knows so just let them play ♪ ♪ until the credits roll there's a story i didn't know ♪ ♪ we'd write it however long it took it's an open book ♪ ♪ if you love surprises there's a song underneath the silence ♪ ♪ you can hear the crowd sing the words out loud in just the right pitch ♪ ♪ but what we both didn't know is how far this ♪ ♪ thing would go and we might not make it through ♪ ♪ but if we do play em our home movies if they wonder who i was ♪ ♪ even if they don't then play

em just because let em see the highlights ♪ ♪ and don't forget the lows everybody's got a story no one knows ♪ ♪ so just let them play until the credits roll there's nothing i would be without these memories ♪ ♪ each though they might not show the best of me ♪ ♪ oh-oh play em our home movies if they wonder who i was ♪ ♪ even if they don't then play em just because play em just because ♪ ♪ let em see the highlights and don't forget the lows everybody's got a story ♪ ♪ no one knows so just let them

play ♪ ♪ until the credits roll ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> mickey guyton, ladies and gentlemen. ♪ this is "nightline." tonight, the migrant crisis overwhelms new york city. why hundreds of people were forced to sleep in the streets. >> is the city able to provide the basic needs to asylum seekers right now? >> no. no. >> not at all? >> no, we're not.