dan: on-demand. -- you can watch our newscasts live and on-demand. available for apple tv, google tv, amazon fire tv, roku. download and you can start streaming. ama: thank you so much for watching. dan: we appreciate your time. ama: have a great night. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- bryan cranston, ronny chieng, and music from danielle ponder. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you.

welcome. thank you. thanks, everybody. hi, i'm jimmy. i am the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i'm glad you made it. you made it, right? how many of you are visiting from out of the country? from far away, a foreign land? okay, quite a few quiet hand-raisers here in our audience. [ laughter ] well, you got here just in time because this morning the faa had to ground every flight leaving the united states. basically, the faa f'ed everyone in the a, eh? [ laughter ] their system went down, resulting in an awful morning for travelers, and a great one for southwest airlines. [ laughter ] they were like, "wasn't our fault this time." more than 8,000 flights were delayed, another 1,200 were canceled. after the outage, senator ted cruz released a furious statement calling the situation unacceptable and, of course, blaming the biden administration. [ laughter ] ted has a bug up his butt because the outage made him unable to flee to cancun. as he does every winter. [ laughter ]

[ cheers and applause ] one of my favorite things is when these politicians, they release angry statements calling for reforms after something happens. how about you work on this before people are sleeping on their backpacks and eating panda express at 6:00 a.m.? [ laughter ] speaking of delays, do you know which city has the worst traffic in america? it's not l.a. it's actually chicago. how is l.a. not number one? i was once so late to a friend's birthday party, i was actually on time for his next birthday party. [ laughter ] our traffic is very bad. but according to the global traffic scorecard, which i guess is a thing, commuters in chicago waste the most time sitting in traffic. boston is number two. [ lone clapper ] it's nothing to be -- [ laughter ] then new york, philly, miami, and san francisco. l.a. came in sixth. five other cities have worse traffic than we have on the 405? what's slower than stopped? [ laughter ] unless you're driving backwards, i don't know what's going on in chicago.

not only is our traffic ridiculous, our freeway is trying to eat us. this is the 118 in chatsworth. this is a sinkhole. it gobbled up two cars. looks like a scene from a michael bay movie but it's not. that's a real hole 15 feet deep. they had to call in 50 firefighters to rescue the drivers. it's doubled in size since it opened. this is this morning. it's very scary. and i have to say, it's especially scary for me because my sweet baby guillermo lives in that area. right? >> guillermo: yes, that's right jimmy, yes. [ cheers and applause ] i'm good. >> jimmy: a message from god. i get it, he's adorable. we wanna swallow him up too. but you can't have him. we need him here. [ laughter ] you okay? >> guillermo: i'm good, jimmy, yes. >> jimmy: chatsworth, by the way, is the porno movie-making capital of -- probably the world. is that why you moved there? [ laughter ] >> guillermo: no, for the bigger houses. >> jimmy: oh, for the bigger houses, right. "a sinkhole in chatsworth" is one of their top-selling porno

dvds. [ rim shot ] [ applause ] thanks, everybody. the golden globes fell into a sinkhole last night with their lowest ratings ever. and they kind of deserve it. they have -- they found out the year before last, they had no black members, zero. now their 96-member organization has six black members. which, let's put it this way -- republicans in the house of representatives have five black members. so this is not exactly the "it's a small world" ride. [ laughter ] the golden globes are special though, because it's the only awards show where you can be nominated for best musical or comedy, even if your movie doesn't have music or comedy in it. [ laughter ] the big winner on the movie side was steven spielberg. he won best picture and director for "the fabelmans." but quite a few of the winners were not there to receive their awards, including zendaya, who said she was working, and amanda seyfried, who is so small they were afraid she'd be washed away by the rain. [ laughter ]

they kept her at home. kevin costner who won best dramatic actor for "yellowstone" sent his regrets. he was stuck in santa barbara because of the flooding, which wasn't he in "waterworld"? i think he could probably -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] colin farrell won best actor in a musical or comedy, and also the prize for most unusual thank you speech. >> we were just one big family for the betterment of all of ourselves and that experience. and lastly, jenny the donkey, who is -- [ applause ] yeah, yeah, jenny. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they really like to mix it up at the globes. [ laughter ] according to new research from health care agencies here in california, cannabis-related emergency room visits have skyrocketed. especially among senior citizens. since it became legal for recreational use. one of the reasons that they cite is older people are used to pot from when they were young. when they try the weed that they

grow today, it hits hard. it's like if the last movie you saw was starring humphrey bogart, then you walked into "avatar 2." [ laughter ] may have something to do with the fact that weed gummies look like fiber gummies now. [ laughter ] so anyway, if you see your meemaw driving her rascal in circles, call 911. [ laughter ] speaking of forgetful seniors -- president biden. [ laughter ] on monday we learned that lawyers for joe biden happened upon a handful of classified documents in a private office he used at the university of pennsylvania. and now today, nbc news is reporting aides have discovered what has been described as a "batch of additional materials" at another location. can't we tie a big spoon to these documents like they do with the gas station bathroom key? [ laughter ] we're one episode of "storage wars" away from finding out who killed jfk. [ laughter ] staffers for joe biden are now searching everywhere he could have possibly left documents. his knapsack, his pill

organizer, under the arch at the 1904 world's fair. [ laughter ] it could be anywhere. they could be in a birthday card he sent to his grandkids next to a crisp two-dollar bill. no one knows. [ laughter ] and of course, any time documents are mishandled, top-secret documents, it needs to be taken seriously. that is something republicans and democrats believe. although republicans have only believed it since monday. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and of course, president trump -- who was sitting on 25 piles of classified documents when he heard the news -- is outraged. >> there is a big difference, i mean, a lot of differences, first of all. but very importantly, as i come under the presidential records act, meaning the president, the vice president comes under the federal records act. the federal records act is brutal. and it's brutal -- it's criminal. it's a criminal act. whereas the presidential records act is not criminal. in fact, it says you talk and

you work it out and if you don't work it out, you keep talking. i mean, sort of a very calm thing. >> jimmy: yeah, they actually kind of encourage you to take those documents home when you're president. [ laughter and applause ] they say lay them all over the bed and roll in them and enjoy, relax. i don't know how many documents there are. all i do know is that the documents weren't where they were supposed to be in both cases. as far as what we do about it, i put this idea out there last night, i say i think we have to put donald trump and joe biden in a cell together and stream it live 24/7 on tv. maybe we put on it cspan2. maybe if they start feeling attracted to each other we put it on bravo, i don't know. [ laughter ] we put them in there until they either choke each other out or make friends. at the end maybe we all make friends too. it's a great idea. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. they're going to like the title. i'm thinking about calling the show "prezzer cooker." [ laughter ]

no? okay, we'll work on that, all right. it's time for one of my least-favorite segments on the show. my wife molly -- who works on here -- is of the belief that i have too much stuff. and i do have a lot of stuff. i save things. i care about the people who give me gifts. and so i hang on to things that molly would like to see me let go of. she's come up with a way to let go of those things. so let's go out to hollywood boulevard. hi, molly. that's molly. >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: hi, molly. >> how's it going? >> jimmy: remind everyone of what this terrible segment is called. >> it's called "win jimmy's crap." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's called "win jimmy's crap." and it's fairly self-explanatory but explain how it works. >> thanks for asking. we're going to get a pedestrian here on the street come up here, ask one question. if they answer the question correctly, i'm going to give them something of yours. >> jimmy: okay, great. so they will win one of the things that we have at home. >> yes, they will.

>> jimmy: okay. >> let's see our first contestant. >> jimmy: okay, here we go. our first contestant is -- >> mark, where are you from? >> westchester, california. >> are you ready to win something terrible? >> i absolutely am. >> jimmy: mark doesn't look like he will take care of my things. >> he won't. here is the first thing, mark. >> jimmy: uh-huh -- no, no, okay, hold on a sec -- >> it inexplicably has the nbc lineup from 1973 and 1974 on it. >> sweet. >> it could be yours. >> jimmy: mark, that was a gift from one of our writers, gary, for christmas this year. >> well, now it's a regift from me to mark today. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. >> all right. >> jimmy: all right. >> here is your question, mark, are you ready? >> i'm ready. >> in honor of tv history, which -- what is the name of the famous stand-up comedian who starred in the tv show "seinfeld"? >> jerry seinfeld. >> yes! congratulations! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations, mark. >> bye-bye, towel, thanks for playing.

>> jimmy: that's called "win jimmy's crap." and that's -- yeah. >> that's right. jamie, where are you from? >> i'm from here. >> nice. >> jimmy: what's that on your shoulder, jamie? >> what are you talking about? oh. >> jimmy: oh. >> it's a tattoo. >> jimmy: i know it's a tattoo. >> i'm going to help you cover up that tattoo with this next terrible item -- >> jimmy: oh, no, wait a second -- >> why does a grown man have a froot loop t-shirt? >> jimmy: first of all, i like froot loops. secondly, i've had that shirt longer than i've had you. [ audience moaning ] >> if you want to hang on to me, you have to lose the shirt. would you like to answer a question -- >> jimmy: hold on, jamie probably doesn't even like that shirt. >> i do like the shirt, yeah. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah, it's a cool shirt. >> jimmy: oh. >> you can wear it. >> jimmy: maybe we should get married. >> be my guest. jamie, what kind of animal is big bird? >> a bird? >> it is a bird!

[ cheers and applause ] jamie, good news, there are more terrible shirts where that came from. >> jimmy: oh, no, no, no! hold on a minute. >> brisket -- >> jimmy: no. >> don't hassle the -- >> jimmy: i made that shirt! >> t-shirts with sandwiches on it, they're all yours, congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i have no shirts now. >> no shirts. >> jimmy: who's this [ bleep ]? [ laughter ] >> oh, jimmy. >> where are you from? >> chicago. >> i don't think you're a [ bleep ]. >> thank you. >> i'm going to ask you a question. if you win it, i'm sorry, you're going to go home with this fisherman with the word "dildo" on it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, hold on a second. that's my -- ritchie, that's my town. i am the honorary mayor of dildo, newfoundland. they sent that to me as a gift because i'm their leader. >> jimmy, no one's doubting you're the mayor of dildo, okay? [ laughter ] i'm not keen on working dildo into our interior design. >> jimmy: all of a sudden she's not keen on working dildos into our interior design.

[ rim shot ] [ laughter ] >> all right, all right. okay, ritchie. this one's multiple choice. >> jimmy: what are you going to do with that statue? >> what are you going to do with it? >> i will take great care of it, jimmy, i promise. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> i can also light it on fire right here -- >> jimmy: no, it's not flammable. [ laughter ] >> this one is multiple choice. which late-night talk show host once [ bleep ]ed his pants at universal city walk? is it "a" jimmy kimmel? >> i'm going to take a wild guess and go with "a," jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: there are no other choices! [ cheers and applause ] >> i'll take care of it, jimmy. >> jimmy: all right, ritchie. >> we have time for one more, one more. >> jimmy: no, we don't have time for one more item, that's enough. >> no, it's not enough. this has to go. >> jimmy: oh no, no way. >> what is this? >> jimmy: i earned that when we made the world's largest meat ball. that was a guinness book world record. >> this is something you're proud of? a trophy for the world's largest

meatball? >> jimmy: i don't win that many awards, i'm proud of it, yeah. [ laughter ] >> i would like to give it away tonight. let's meet our last contestant. come on in. >> hi, how are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> nice to meet you. >> nice to meet you too. >> where are you from? >> i'm from television. >> you're from television? i've heard of that. bryan, you're going to answer one question. and you can win this beautiful trophy of a diseased testicle. [ laughter ] all right. bryan. >> yes? >> your question. on the show "breaking bad," the lead character, walter, cooks methamphetamine, which is a chiral compound with two enantiomers. your question, what is walter's last name? [ laughter ] >> that is not -- oh, i know i should have watched that show. [ laughter ] >> i'll give you a hint. it rhymes with bite. and it's a color.

>> can you give me the first letter? >> "w." >> white? >> yes, yes! [ cheers and applause ] congratulations! add that to your emmys. >> that's -- wonderful. thank you. does he have two of these balls? or just the one? >> he only has one. >> jimmy: not anymore, no. all right. all right, bryan. thanks. >> thanks, jimmy. thanks, everybody. >> jimmy: thanks, molly. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to go to your stuff when we get home. let me tell you something. that woman has 90,000 pairs of shoes in our closet. [ laughter ] we should have a little thing. "give away molly's shoes." right? >> guillermo: yeah, of course, yes! next week, yes! >> jimmy: we have a fun show for you tonight. from the new movie "m3gan," ronny chieng is here. [ cheers and applause ] we have music from danielle ponder. and we'll be right back with new meatball trophy recipient, bryan cranston. so stick around!

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back to the show. tonight, from the big new hit horror movie "m3gan," ronny chieng is with us. then later, her debut album, you're going to want to stay up to see this. it's called "some of us are brave." danielle ponder from the mercedes eq stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, two great actors. viola davis and judd hirsch will be here with music from chase rice, so join us then. our first guest is one of the best of the best -- an

oscar-nominated and emmy, tony, and golden globe-winner. season two of his harrowing show "your honor" premieres sunday on showtime. say hello to bryan cranston. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you're really rubbing it in, aren't you? >> i just never thought i would caress your balls. [ laughter ] so lovingly. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> i forgot to take this -- >> jimmy: i hope you take good care of her. i like the idea of wearing a nametag, that's nice. >> don't you think everyone should wear a nametag? >> jimmy: all the time, it would be great. >> i'm telling you, paul, if everyone would -- [ laughter ] then we wouldn't have any problems. >> jimmy: the world would be like "the price is right," it would be fantastic. >> speaking of "price is right," there's a mirror, just as you come out, you can take a look. i've never had my hair this

coifed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is very coify. >> i feel like wink martindale. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i was thinking regis, but a little bit of wink, too. [ laughter ] why don't you put that right on the meatball? i see, now it's really yours. >> it's mine, baby. >> jimmy: there you go. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'm going to put this right here. i know you're going to take very good care of this. are you bad at getting rid of things? >> yeah, i have this habit where when i go through my closet, i want to say one last good-bye. >> jimmy: for real? >> i swear to god. >> jimmy: to your clothes? >> i do. i wear them one last time. i'll say, "okay, this is it for the shoes, here we go, this is it for the jacket." i'll wear it one last time. then when i take it off, it all goes into a bag and i incinerate it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's very strange. i would watch a show in which

you say good-bye to your pants. [ laughter ] i think that would be fun. that's a little weird, isn't it? >> "good-bye, pants." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you hit any sinkholes on the way here? >> no, why? >> jimmy: you see that big sinkhole? >> no, i just got back from hawaii. >> jimmy: you missed all the rain. >> yes. yes, it's gorgeous over there. >> jimmy: yeah. you were -- oh, you with aaron paul in hawaii? >> yeah, the two of us, we were vacationing together. [ cheers ] he and his wife and my wife and their kids, we just had the greatest time. we were over on maui. four seasons. it was fantastic. >> jimmy: do people go berserk when they see walter white and jesse pinkman snorkeling together? [ laughter ] >> yeah, especially when you have the mask on. it distorts your face. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it magnifies. >> jimmy: you guys really fell in love on that show. >> we're deeply, deeply in love. >> jimmy: it's somewhat remarkable that you're vacationing together. aaron has two little kids.

>> yeah, and i -- our daughter is 30. and there's no children on the horizon. so i swear i am getting my grandparent fix out with their kids. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> oh, i'm -- i am the godfather of the little boy, riden. >> jimmy: oh, you are? >> yeah, and his little daughter, story, who's about to turn 5, is just -- i just want to eat her up. >> jimmy: do you wish you'd been her godfather instead of riden's? [ laughter ] >> actually -- when aaron asked me to be the godfather. >> jimmy: yeah? >> of course i said no. [ laughter ] and then i said, "how much does it pay?" [ laughter ] no, i love those kids. >> jimmy: that's very sweet, that's very nice. by the way, i think i have a photograph. i think we have it up here. [ cheers and applause ] this is in albuquerque. when did this happen? >> well, there's euell gibbons there on the left. just about to eat his own bolo

tie. this happened in albuquerque. we have two bronze statues of walt and jesse in the albuquerque convention center. and it happened this summer. they're great looking. >> jimmy: really well done. did you pose for those? >> they took -- from pictures. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> can you imagine posing that long? >> jimmy: well, i don't know. yeah, i don't know. maybe they just get a sketch, then they go. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i don't know how it works. you're going to believe this, there is not a bronze statue of me in las vegas. yeah, there's no -- i haven't been enshrined in bronze. >> but you did have a gold ball. >> jimmy: i did. [ laughter and applause ] >> but no longer, jimmy! >> jimmy: so that's at the convention center? >> you have a bowl game named after you. >> jimmy: that's true. i did have a bowl game named -- yeah. >> so greedy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe the meat bowl next, that would be fun. it's funny to me, though that they would have this, because -- >> why is that funny, jimmy?

>> jimmy: i mean, you're meth dealers. [ laughter ] like, rocky in philadelphia, you know, he was the heavyweight champion of the world. you guys are meth dealers. [ laughter ] >> well. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: speaking of illicit drugs, i do want to mention something because seth rogen was here last week. he told a story -- do you know about this? >> i know seth rogen, yeah. >> jimmy: he said he didn't know you that well. >> no. >> jimmy: he was at the golden globes, high on something. very high on something. [ laughter ] and he said he was so high that you, who he didn't really know, came up to him, pulled him aside, and asked him if he was okay. [ laughter ] >> there were two things that tipped him off that he was really not okay. >> jimmy: okay? >> one, he wasn't laughing or talking to anyone. he was up against the wall just like -- [ laughter ]

smiling. and i thought, i either call 911 or something. then the second thing he said, i think he thought i was drew barrymore. [ laughter ] and i knew something was wrong. >> jimmy: yeah, that's weird, yeah. >> something was wrong. >> jimmy: so anyway, seth said that he was going to do something similar at the golden globes last night. and that it would be fun for us to examine. you can tell me if he looks more or less out of it than the first time. that's not bad. oh, there's your buddy bob. >> he's okay. oh, this is after a trip to the bathroom. [ laughter ] that one was a trip to the parking lot. he is baked. >> jimmy: now, in this scenario -- [ laughter ] >> see? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yes, he does seem -- >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] you know when someone tries to be very serious and sincere -- >> jimmy: trying to pull it together, yeah. have you ever had a situation where you were under the influence of anything in a

public setting like that? >> no, i take pride in knowing that my entire career, i've never been in public where i've been intoxicated or high or anything. i keep it very conservative in public. >> jimmy: that's interesting. we do have some video of you -- [ laughter ] at an adele concert. we'll let america decide. there's adele. ♪ i remember you said ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what was that, bryan? >> even if you begged,i would not give you this back. >> jimmy: bryan cranston is here. his new show is "your honor." here. his new show is "your honor." we'll be back right after this. relapsing ms isn't the only thing i have going on. that's why i take kesimpta. it's the only b-cell treatment for rms i can take at home

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what do you think about all that stuff? >> i don't know about god and -- and all that. but i -- i do think that good people go where they deserve. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the bad guy. that's the bad guy right there. that is "your honor."

bryan cranston's show. this is season two of the show. i was telling you, the first season, i found it -- it caused me so much anxiety. it's so gripping that i felt like i was going to have to be hospitalized from watching it. it really is a show that -- >> you're welcome. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i mean -- >> it is one of those shows that you have to take in bits and pieces, you know, because you get invested in it. >> jimmy: yeah, for sure. >> did you like the beard, by the way? >> jimmy: the beard's incredible. the hair is incredible. [ cheers and applause ] i have to say, i mean -- i really, honestly, i'm not just blowing smoke up your ass -- i do think you're one of the greatest actors of all-time. [ cheers and applause ] i also think maybe even more impressive is your ability to grow a huge amount of hair in a short time. [ laughter ] you go from bald to moses in -- it seems like five months or something. >> yeah, well, i was actually

going to shave that beard off earlier. but i found a nest in there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, oh, that's sweet. >> these little birds were not ready to fly out. i better keep it. >> jimmy: you know, you played with guillermo in the celebrity softball game at dodger stadium over the summer. >> i did, yes. >> jimmy: at that time you must have been shooting this, i guess. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's andre ethier giving you a bear hug. i was looking at this picture today. and i was thinking, again, this might be some good acting here, because you got hurt before this game? >> oh, yeah, i got hurt bad. >> jimmy: hit by a line drive during batting practice. >> yeah. >> jimmy: have you ever seen the video of that? >> no. >> jimmy: we have the video of it for real. here we go. >> that's anthony ramos. >> jimmy: anthony ramos is batting. >> he hit a line drive. wow, there it is. great. i'm suing him. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's good that we have this on tape, then. >> this will come in handy. >> jimmy: look who comes in to help. guillermo meanders in to check

on you. [ cheers and applause ] >> you know what i could have used at that moment is a little mezcal. >> guillermo: yeah, mezcal, tequila, anything. >> no, dos hombres mezcal. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: guillermo called me after that, he was very worried about you. did you have a big bruise on your body? >> i had a contusion on my chest. it turned several shades of purple. and i didn't -- and it was right up there. right near the collarbone. but not on it. it was very close to my throat. i mean, i -- someone else could be sitting in this chair right now. >> jimmy: i know a guy works for major league baseball, he was talking about the softball game. he said, do you know any actors who are good baseball players? i thought of you. "you've got to call bryan cranston because bryan was my son kevin's little league coach 20-plus years ago." i happened upon -- i was going

through some stuff, i happened upon a photograph of you coaching my son kevin. there's back when you looked like a human being. [ laughter ] that's bryan. that's kevin right there. with the white sox, you were teaching him how to field a groundball there. >> look at that. [ cheers and applause ] you know what? what's great is that kevin had a 14-year career in the major leagues. >> jimmy: that's right, thanks to you. >> it's fantastic, yeah. >> jimmy: actually, you know what, i don't know if it was this day. but i do vividly remember going to a game, you were coaching the team, going home, watching "malcolm in the middle." it was the episode where you were dancing around in your underwear the whole time. thinking, "we've got to move out of l.a." [ laughter ] >> "this is not right." >> jimmy: it's great to see you. you've got to watch the show, it's called "your honor." season two premieres sunday night at 9:00 on showtime. get it as early as friday on demand. bryan cranston, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with ronny chieng!

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>> jimmy: hey, there. we have music from danielle ponder on the way. not since the night teddy ruxpin killed four teenagers at the southfield mall has a talking robot doll scared so many so quickly. our next guest you know from "the daily show," "shang-chi," "crazy rich asians." his new movie is called "m3gan." please welcome ronny chieng. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> oh my god. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. >> thank you. this is an american institution. >> jimmy: what is? >> this is! [ cheers and applause ] i've been watching this since i was a kid. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah, you are on my favorite episode of "entourage." >> jimmy: i don't even remember what happened. >> yeah. that's my context for, like, when you're not from america. >> jimmy: uh-huh?

>> a lot of our understanding of america comes from talk shows. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> we watch that stuff, stay up late to watch it. oh, americans know how to make fun of each other. [ laughter ] then you come here, "oh, no, not at all." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's super interesting. you think, everybody must have a good sense of humor. >> there's music every night, everyone's laughing, it's great. >> jimmy: you've lived so many places. where have you lived, though? quickly go through them. >> i was born in malaysia. [ applause ] really? you guys are being nice, yeah. i thought it was actually someone from there. then we moved to manchester, new hampshire. >> jimmy: that's quite a jump. [ laughter ] >> manchester, new hampshire. i didn't know it was a small town. when i was there, it was like -- we had four places. went to the library, went to school, went to the park, and went to one restaurant. and i was like, oh my god, the world is huge. [ laughter ] and then after manchester, new hampshire, we went to move back to singapore. i lived in singapore for a bit. then i went to australia for law school. >> jimmy: wow.

>> i came here in 2015. >> jimmy: like dora the explorer, you've been everywhere. [ laughter ] >> post national living. >> jimmy: where's your family? where do they live? >> they live in singapore and malaysia. >> jimmy: do you go visit them much? >> i try to go back every year. they -- yeah, so i'm kind of -- me and my wife are the only ones here. so we're the only ones in america. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, just two of us. then my mom lives in singapore. all my extended family lives in malaysia. i try to go back every year to see them, but the pandemic was tough. i had two years, i didn't get to see my mom at all. >> jimmy: that's tough, yeah. >> when it finally reopened, when singapore reopened, i found 50 hours to visit her. i flew from new york to singapore to see her. i showed up, and she wouldn't even take leave from work. [ laughter ] yeah. she worked through my trip. >> jimmy: what? >> "mom, i'm here for 48 hours, can you take leave from work to hang out with your son that you

haven't seen in two years?" she was like, "uh" -- you know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what does your mom do for a living? >> nothing that important. yeah. she's not saving the world, all right? she's, like -- like the ultimate accountant. [ laughter ] not designing a bomb, right? >> jimmy: did they watch you on "the daily show" there? did they get to see you? >> they did. so my whole thing was, when i started doing show business, i didn't want to tell them what i was doing. >> jimmy: why? >> i just didn't want them to -- i didn't want the comments. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> i didn't want any -- i also didn't want to, like -- i didn't want to feel like i did something until they heard about it independently, you know what i mean? >> jimmy: you want to succeed before -- >> right, i don't want to go around, "hey, i'm doing this gig, that gig," who cares? if you're good, they would hear about it, was my mentality. so i didn't tell them a single

thing. then one day my dad -- my dad called me and was like, "hey, did you get hired on the every day show?" [ laughter ] i was like, "no, it's the daily show." the same -- not the same -- anyway, "yeah, i got hired on the daily show." he's like, "oh, that show -- is that a big show in america?" i'm like, "well, they kind of invented modern american satire, so they're pioneers in the field of what they do, and they are the biggest thing, but whatever, dad, it's fine." [ laughter ] he's like," what do you do, are you hosting it now?" "no, no, i'm the correspondent." "what does that mean?" "correspondent, i help the host with bits in studio, sometimes i [ bleep ] with people." [ laughter ] then he goes, "oh, oh. hey, may, he's just a sidekick!" [ laughter ] [ applause ] oh, dad.

and that's why i don't tell you anything! >> jimmy: you've done pretty well for just a sidekick. i mentioned -- i'm sure people mention "shang-chi," the marvel movie, "crazy rich asians." [ cheers and applause ] >> team effort, team effort. >> jimmy: is it possible you have some kind of magic touch? this movie "m3gan" is all of a sudden -- it seemed like a small, kind of odd, funny horror movie. but it's becoming one of those things that everyone's talking about. >> yeah, yeah. i mean, i tell my agents and managers, i'll only do blockbuster movies. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, sure, why bother with -- >> don't bring that [ bleep ]. we're in america to win, man! [ applause ] >> jimmy: honestly, i don't go to see horror movies because i get scared, it scares me. is this -- would you describe it as a horror movie? >> i mean, it's more satire. it's very self-aware. it's not gory. i also can't take gore.

>> jimmy: yeah, as long as there's no gore, i'm okay. >> yeah, there's -- they very smartly kind of made it -- they toned down the gore from what we filmed to make it pg so that kids can go and get scared out of their minds. [ laughter ] to trick children into coming, yes. >> jimmy: forgive me for not knowing how it goes, the doll, that little kid, is that a real robot they built? >> yeah, so they had a few. they had a fake doll. and then we also had a genius prodigy 11-year-old new zealand girl, amy donald, who played the physical motions of the doll. >> jimmy: i see. >> that's all her moving on all fours, the dance, everything. that's this movement genius 11-year-old girl. i remember first day on set, my first scene was with the doll. they put the fake doll there. i'm turning around with the doll in that red hallway. the doll's going to be, you know, ten meters away, which is whatever in feet. [ laughter ] whatever.

like that far. [ laughter ] and then they put the fake doll there, and i'm like, this doll is fake. i'm slapping it in the film, okay, this is fake. i turn around to get ready. when the scene starts i turn back around to get in the zone. i go, "what the [ bleep ] are you doing here?" and it was the girl. [ laughter ] they swapped the doll with the girl. i told this 11-year-old girl, what the [ bleep ] are you doing here? [ laughter ] i was so -- "i'm so sorry, i thought you were the fake doll." i apologized to the mom. >> jimmy: congratulations, it's great to have you here. the movie is called "m3gan." it's in theaters now. ronny chieng, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with danielle ponder.

well well well, what have we here? a magical place... that's lookin' to get scared! with bats...and ghouls... and cars in disguise. i've cast quite a spell now... you won't believe your eyes! [laughter] the spell is cast. halloween time is back with spook-tacular experiences in disneyland and disney california adventure parks! [laughter]

>> jimmy: thanks to bryan cranston and ronny chieng. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, this is her album. "some of us are brave." here with the song "someone like you," danielle ponder! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ i've been waiting my whole life ♪ ♪ for someone to love and treat me right ♪ ♪ someone like you someone like you ♪ ♪ it always seems the time ain't right ♪ ♪ don't feel wrong when i'm alone at night ♪ ♪ what i got to do what i got to do ♪ ♪ for someone like you someone like you ♪ ♪ for someone like you someone like you ♪

♪ why won't the stars align tell me ♪ ♪ why won't the stars align somebody tell me ♪ ♪ whoa whoa tell me yeah ♪ ♪ why won't the stars align yeah yeah ♪ ♪ someone tell me what i got to do ♪ ♪ who i got to call which god i got to pray to ♪ ♪ someone tell me who i got to be ♪

♪ for a love like yours i'm down on my knees ♪ ♪ and if it don't if it won't lord won't you come ♪ ♪ and won't you tell me something ♪ ♪ and if it don't if it won't lord ♪ ♪ why won't the stars align you got to you got to tell me yeah ♪ ♪ why won't the stars align somebody somebody somebody tell me ♪ ♪ oh lord whoa lord yeah i got

to know yeah i got to know ♪ ♪ whoa lord whoa lord oh ♪ tonight, catastrophic fires in hawaii killing dozens, wiping out communities. >> i think in 48 years, i've never seen anything like this in my entire life. >> the harrowing stories of survival. >> face-to-face with fire. i could feel the heat burning the hair on my skin. i lost the bottom of my eyelashes. >> landmarks destroyed. >> it's hard for me to wrap my head arou