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>> abc 7 sports, sponsored by river rock casino. larry: good evening. after their dramatic walk-off win over texas yesterday, the giants forever searching for offense. they open up their series against tampa bay. how do you officially know the dog days of summer are here? dave flemming's has a seven, punishing the last in his fantasy football. do not forget the back. he is better than that. scoreless in the fourth. mike was abe singles four home runs. they had a

in this game. the rays are up 5-0 in the fifth. tyler estrada just moves past. joc pederson and he is safe. onto the seventh, here it comes. christian got all of it, clobbered to left, raises it 6-1. wade meckler's parents on h to see his major-league debut. we cannot bear to watch anymore. the giants fall 10-2. how about the a's visiting st. louis? we have ricky henderson, classic a's. we pick off jordan walker, and walker is safe. a-game tied at 3-3. they both and the a's go up 5-3. bottom seventh, cardinal strike back.

around on his horse, bases-loaded. the cardinals we take their lead on the way to a 7-5 victory. no restrictions on brock purdy going forward. he was being held back from some training camps to help his surgically replaced elbow. trey lance started the season game against - rusty, but he was sacked four times. he did improve as the game went off, but he has a lot of work ahead to beat out sam donald. >> that frustrating, but i put it on myself and it seemed to be better, making sure the guys around me are ready to go. so i put that on myself. larry:

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(♪) (♪) (♪) (♪) (♪) (♪) (♪) visit your local volvo retailer, to explore mild hybrid suvs during the summer safely savings event. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, "american idol" judges katy perry and lionel richie. mike epps.

and music from beck. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. very nice. thank you. hi, everybody. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for joining us here in hollywood where -- [ cheers and applause ] i have to say, i know there's -- i know there's aliens all over the news. the only alien life we can officially confirm is the guy who dresses up as chewbacca and stands outside our building smoking cigarettes all day. [ laughter ] did you meet him? i don't know that -- i have to say, this is a historic day. i don't know that any president of any country has ever been forced to hold a press conference to talk about mysterious objects in the sky.

[ laughter ] but that is the situation in which joe biden found himself today. so, he gathered reporters to witness his first-ever "state of the balloonion" speech. [ laughter ] >> we don't have any evidence that there has been a sudden increase in the number of objects in the sky. we're now seeing more of them partially because of the steps we've taken to increase our radars, narrow our radars. but make no mistake, if any object presents a threat to the people, i will take them down. >> jimmy: go get 'em, maverick. you got the ray-bans. take em down! [ laughter and applause ] joe biden starts taking them down, we might have to say good-bye to the goodyear blimp. [ laughter ] the president said there is no indication that any of the last three objects we shot down had anything to do with china. he also said he would not apologize to the chinese president for popping his balloon last week. [ laughter ] he said "i'll pop it again, jack!" [ laughter ] "this is gonna be your saddest

birthday yet." [ laughter ] biden also laid out new standards for dealing with unidentified items in the sky. he'll be calling in his old friend balloon superman to handle any. [ laughter ] the original balloon alien. before his remarks today, biden got his annual check-up. you know, this is what presidents have to do. they get a check -- what a strange life joe biden leads. if any other 80-year-old came out of a medical exam talking about aliens, you'd put him in a home. [ laughter ] he had the checkup at walter reed hospital. good and bad news. the good news is the president is in solid health overall. bad news is he's got termites. [ laughter ] they're going to have to tent him off or something. no, he's fine. he appears to be in great health, although, while checking his prostate, they did find more classified documents. [ laughter and applause ] they gave him the whole deal. it was a full thorough medical exam. the doctor even squeezed his chinese spy balloons. [ laughter ] the white house physician released a statement. he says "joe biden's triathlete-level cardiovascular

health, perfectly-tapered bowel movements, and john henry steel-driving erections would be the envy of any man his or any age, even a big chubby one who cheats at golf." [ laughter ] i think you can read between the lines there. down in mar-a-lago, fattyshack is till in the rough -- [ laughter ] from a legal standpoint. we got excerpts today from the special grand jury report on whether trump and his minions broke the law when they tried to overturn the election results in georgia. you may remember that "perfect call" on which trump asked the secretary of state of georgia to "find" him 11,000 votes, claiming voter fraud. the grand jury found no evidence of the voter fraud trump made up and said "a majority of the grand jury believes that perjury may have been committed by one or more witnesses testifying before it." now, we don't know which witness they're talking about, but some of the names we know testified are lindsey graham, mark meadows, michael flynn, sidney powell, and rudy giuliani. [ laughter ] so it's probably all of them. the fulton county d.a. says indictments in this case are

imminent, which is good. but how long is this going to go -- it's been two years. there are guys in jail for stealing a catalytic converter going, "i guess i should have tried to steal an election instead." [ laughter ] trump is also under investigation by the department of justice for his role in the insurrection on january 6th. the department of justice has ordered former vice poodle mike pence to testify about what happened that day. pence says he won't talk, he says he will not share any conversations he had with his former boss before, during, or after the insurrection. >> i'm going to fight the biden doj's subpoena to appear before the grand jury. because i think it's unprecedented and it's unconstitutional. for me this is a moment where you have to decide where you stand. and i stand on the constitution of the united states. in a very real sense.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, you know -- you shouldn't do that, you're going to get it dirty. and mother will not approve. now we have that little devil, george santos. today's revelations, number one, george santos reportedly raised money for a recount that never happened. and back in 2017, he was interviewed by police in seattle as part of an investigation into an international credit card fraud scheme. that one's a little confusing. when the cops showed up to interrogate him, he pulled out his own badge and was like, "thanks, officer." [ laughter ] "agent santos, i'll take it from here." can we please just fast-forward to the five-part netflix documentary about the mild-mannered congressman who turned out to be a serial killer? [ laughter ] this guy, he is the michael jordan of lying. and, according to his bio, he is also, "the" michael jordan. [ laughter ] oh, speaking of michael jordan. guillermo has a big trip ahead of him. >> guillermo: i'm going to utah, jimmy. >> jimmy: you're going to what? >> guillermo: i'm going to salt

lake, utah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: someone's going with you, right? >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: you go to the airport and say that, you might not get there. >> guillermo: i'll get there, yeah. >> jimmy: you're going to salt lake city. >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: you're playing in the celebrity basketball game? >> guillermo: that's right, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the nba has an all-star celebrity game. it's going to be great. it's going to be on espn tomorrow night at 7:00 p.m. eastern. 4:00 pacific. what team are you on, do you know? >> guillermo: i think it's on team ryan. i was on team dwyane wade but they change it. now team ryan. >> jimmy: who's ryan? ryan seacrest. >> guillermo: no, the owner of the utah -- >> jimmy: the guy who owns the jazz? >> guillermo: yes, that guy. >> jimmy: you're on his team? >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: oh, you're going to get cut. you're going to get traded. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: send him back to mexico. >> jimmy: you've been practicing in the parking lot? >> guillermo: i've been practicing little bit. >> jimmy: we'll have the highlights and lowlights on our show next week.

[ cheers and applause ] but watch on it espn. yea wait for it, really, i'm excited about it. >> guillermo: i'm excited. >> you have a plane to catch? get going. >> guillermo: all right, everybody, bye! >> jimmy: break a leg! >> guillermo: thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: don't break a leg. he's definitely going to break a leg. [ laughter ] february, as you know, is black history month. every so often around this time i like to shine a light on how much progress we've made as a nation when it comes to race relations. we went out onto hollywood boulevard and asked people passing by, "do you have a black friend?" now here's how it works. we're going to see a person, a white person introduce themselves. based strictly on that introduction, our job as an audience and a family is to guess if they have a black friend, okay? [ laughter ] understand? let's meet our first pedestrian. >> what's your name and where are you from? >> allie from arizona.

>> do you have a black friend? >> jimmy: what do you think? does allie from arizona have a black friend? all right, most of the audience says yes, let's find out. >> yes. >> what's their name? >> i'm trying to think. sorry. i'm trying to think. oh, rashaun. >> jimmy: oh, rashaun, right. [ laughter ] i have a feeling rashaun doesn't remember her, either. [ laughter ] next up? >> what's your name and where are you from? >> jaidyn and i am from roseville, california. which is close to sacramento. >> jaidyn, do you have a black friend? >> do i have a black friend? >> jimmy: never a good sign when they repeat the question. [ laughter ] what about jaidyn? what do we think about -- no? everyone says no. >> yeah. >> what's their name? >> bella. >> what's her last name? [ laughter ] >> she's new, i don't know her very well. >> she's new? new where? >> she's like, friends with my friend, i've only met her a new

times. >> she's your new black friend? >> yes. >> jimmy: she's my imaginary black friend, bella. >> what's your name and where are you from? >> charissa from minnesota. >> charissa, do you have a black friend? >> jimmy: what do you think? charissa from minnesota. all right, okay. you say yes? survey says? [ laughter ] >> it's okay. be honest. >> i can't -- i can't -- >> this is a safe space. >> i'm sorry, no. >> jimmy: yeah. that, by the way, is not a safe space. [ laughter ] that's an unsafe -- she should be wearing a helmet, it's so unsafe. all right, contestant number four. >> what's your name and where are you from? >> nathan orloff, allentown, pennsylvania. >> do you have a black friend? >> jimmy: does nathan from allentown have a black friend? most everyone says yes. >> yeah, i got a bunch. >> how many? >> i don't know, let me give a

big shout-out to sergeant marriage murf, orain, tony, black space man -- >> honestly, those names sound legit to me. just to make sure -- >> my man -- you're going that way? all right, here we go. you go in, then up and down. all right? in, up, down there we go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. maybe we should have asked him if he has any white friends. [ laughter ] a lot of shout-outs there. all right, one more white person. >> hi, what's your name and where are you from? >> mckenna from minnesota. >> mckenna, do you have a black friend? >> jimmy: another minnesotan, mckenna, what do we think? no? let us know, mckenna. >> yes. >> what's their name? >> jessica. >> can you call them right now? >> yeah. she's not answering right now. >> i believe you.

trust me. i do believe you. >> she could be -- oh, she answered, she called. >> jessica, how long have you been black friends with mckenna? >> the past four years now. >> how many whack friends do you think mckenna has? >> at least one other. >> at least one other? >> wait, what's his name? >> charles. >> oh, i forgot about charles. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't bring it up about charles. he's in charge and you forgot him. all right, there you go. and that's why we have black history month, everybody. [ laughter ] one more thing before we forge ahead. it's thursday night, that means it's time to bleep and blur the big moments of the week whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> our wonderful colleague from california, senator feinstein, has announced that she is not

[ bleep ]ing another [ bleep ]. >> you got a good game, our mattress was soaked in [ bleep ] last night. >> does the moment mean? >> it means a lot, i could [ bleep ] you right now but i'm not going to do that. >> hard to talk when you got a face full of [ bleep ]. >> jimmy kimmel lied about the policy in thing when because i was in the building. >> and you [ bleep ]ed? >> and i [ bleep ]ed. he [ bleep ], we [ bleep ]ed each other. >> it always has to be valentine's day related, right? >> it is [ bleep ] filled chocolates. >> joe biden is not [ bleep ]ing from behind, he's not [ bleep ]ing at all. >> i liked barney. i thought barney was terrific. he taught them -- ♪ there are seven [ bleep ]s ♪ >> get your ass up here, [ bleep ] his [ bleep ]. >> come and [ bleep ] it. >> what do you think? >> i'd like to be able to [ bleep ] his [ bleep ]. i think we live too far away from each other.

>> maybe not, because today her dream came true. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. we've got a great show for you tonight. mike epps is on it. we've got music from beck. we'll be right back with katy perry and lionel richie, so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's not just designed to look good... it's built to command attention. it's not just a comfortable interior... it's a quiet refuge. they're not just headlights... they light the way forward. the new fully electric audi q8 e-tron models...

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. tonight, from "the upshaws" on netflix, the very funny mike epps is with us. then later, he is a force of nature you can see live on tour with phoenix starting august 1st in seattle, washington. his new song is called "thinking

about you." beck from the mercedes benz stage with blake mills and pino paladino. [ cheers and applause ] next week, we are back to work. we've got new shows with wanda sykes, keri russell, the rizza, anthony mackie. maverick himself, tom cruise will be here. and we'll have music from bailey zimmerman, gracie abrams and logic too. so please join us for all of that. our first guests are two-thirds of a dream-shattering, star-making panel of judges who have crowned five american idols and are about to start it all over again. a new season premieres sunday night on abc. please welcome katy perry and lionel richie. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you know what i have to say, you guys walk out and i go, there's a couple of stars, there are a couple of superstars. >> thank you so much. >> we'll take that.

>> jimmy: you just have it. whatever it is, you've got it. whatever this thing you're looking for in "american idol," you've got it. >> have you washed your cheeks since orlando kissed you last? >> jimmy: you know i have a crush on your husband. >> he was he said going to leave a note. >> jimmy: did he leave a note? >> i can smell him. >> jimmy: can you smell him? >> it's good, it's good, it's good. >> jimmy: speaking of smelling, lionel gave him some of his colo, lionel richie's hello cologne. [ cheers and applause ] when it's a special occasion, i put it on. >> wear it down south, guaranteed to bring everybody to you. >> jimmy: everybody to you. >> it mixes well. >> look good, make great music,

and icon. >> jimmy: for sure. >> you, i'm talking about you. >> oh, me? yes, yes, of course, yes. >> not guillermo, even though i love you, guillermo, wherever you are. >> jimmy: guillermo left, he's got to play the game. are you are you sick of each other yet? >> no, no, you know what -- well. [ laughter ] >> no, no, we're actually -- we're like family. like, you know -- lionel's my uncle. >> thank god. >> and luke is my brother. this is our sixth season. we love our job. we love each other. we have so much respect for each other. and respect for the gig. and the kids that are coming out on the show, i swear to you, like -- you know, every time we start a season we think, okay, there's no more talent left in america, because for sure we've picked them all out, past seasons. literally we get to the middle of filming and we're like, oh my gosh, brace yourselves. this is the best of the best of the best. this is such a launching pad, "american idol." >> no kidding. >> jimmy: you're saying our nation's talent hasn't dried up? >> not at all. >> not at all. >> coming from all walks of

life, all over the country. they represent the fabric of america. they're coming together and they're so unified. it's such a beautiful show, i'm so proud of it. >> what changed the equation was, instead of having these in-person interviews, they started doing it online. >> yeah. >> which means it's from a city we've never heard of in arkansas. >> jimmy: i see. so it expanded the reach. >> the whole world showed up. >> you used to have to stand in line with thousands of people. now you can click a zoom link and audition. yeah, you have a lot of kids coming from towns that have one stop sign, not even a stop light. a lot of kids that have never been on an airplane or an escalator. any of it. they're so blown away by how the world is. >> jimmy: lionel, when you recorded the song "zoom," did you ever imagine this would be the case? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: you know, katy, you were in vegas last night, right? >> i was in vegas last night, yes.

>> jimmy: you have a residency. >> i do. >> jimmy: at resort world there. >> it's called "play." come and check it out. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: lionel, you do shows in vegas. >> i'm in vegas all the time. i must tell you, katy, she's a trouper today because she was in vegas last night to be here tonight. >> jimmy: you guys, when you are about to mount a show in las vegas, do you go see other shows beforehand to see what people are doing? >> i do, yeah. i try and catch all the cirque acts. life a pop star show. i went to britney's show. >> jimmy: the impersonators? >> no, the legit. i went to gaga's show. i love it. i like to see what's going on. >> jimmy: lionel, do you do that? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: way to set it up. >> lionel goes to dinner and goes to bed. >> i go to dinner, i go to bed. >> jimmy: lionel's in the rock and roll hall of fame, for god's sake. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: that happened in november. >> thank you very much. >> milk it, lionel, milk it. >> jimmy: was it all you imagined it would be? >> and more.

>> jimmy: really? >> i'll tell you, the first thing i'm so excited about is just to be on the roster. let's just talk about this. >> jimmy: yeah. >> living. >> to be a living person. >> yes. >> where you -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's better to be alive. >> yeah, what really made the difference is when you see bruce in the audience and you see the guys that, you know -- it's bruce, you know. >> springsteen. >> jimmy: i figured, yes. >> feeling very good about myself. you walk up, you receive the award. this time around lenny gave me -- >> jimmy: lenny kravitz. did you ask him to do that or -- >> you can't ask, they choose them for you. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> it's one of those things, sitting back at home, who's going to give it to me? >> jimmy: you had no idea? >> i had no idea. at the very last minute they tell you, it's going to be lenny. then you start worrying. because lenny and i are very close.

what is he going to say? you get too close, a lot of things maybe you don't want to hear. he covered me. >> jimmy: he covered you, that's good. >> i still have a reputation. >> jimmy: katy, you played the super bowl halftime show with lenny kravitz. >> i sure did. >> jimmy: is he your good friend as well? >> i probably don't know him as well as mr. ritchie. he was so fantastic on the super bowl and killed it. >> jimmy: with the super bowl halftime show, i know rihanna is a friend of yours. does she call you beforehand and say, hey, i'm going to do this halftime show, can you give me some insight? >> she don't need no pointers, she's rihanna! [ cheers and applause ] >> exactly. >> jimmy: i know she is a close friend of yours. when you're watching the show, did you know that she was pregnant? or did you find out with everyone else? >> we were actually filming in hawaii, and we had to be on set at 3:00.

that's when everyone was supposed to go on. we were trying to drag our feet because we all want to see rihanna play the super bowl. and we actually had to film, and then it happened, and we came back. we found, like, a cut of it. and no, we all saw it for the first time then. >> jimmy: that it was revealed -- >> it was amazing. >> we didn't know. >> it was so beautiful. >> jimmy: lionel also got the icon award at the american music awards. >> how many awards -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's been a big year. lionel -- >> how many awards is he going to get? >> no, no, let me clear this up. >> jimmy: yeah? >> because everyone says, oh my god, lionel, so many years -- let me tell you something. i've been in the music business 236 years. [ laughter ] okay? so finally, when someone says, you won an award. you go, hallelujah. okay? >> jimmy: for real. >> you have no idea. i mean -- there's so many people -- for example, let me give you with the rock and roll

hall of fame, tina turner went in last year. tina turner. >> jimmy: right. >> you follow me? >> jimmy: yeah. >> so it's not just one of those give-aways. >> right. >> they'll call your name. when they finally go your name, you go, hallelujah, i can make the show. >> jimmy: that american music awards i remember, and this is interesting, because you were born in 1984, correct? >> yeah. >> jimmy: 1984, lionel hosted the american music awards. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> you know, michael, i have to tell you something. michael, i've got to be honest with you. because it is amazing. it is amazing to me how your career has taken off. listen. i only showed him four dance steps and he has gone all the way to superstardom, unbelievable. god, you know, that one move that you do so well, i love it. i just lot of the way you -- [ cheers ] oh, yeah. oh, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at that, brooke shields, michael jackson, and emmanuel lewis.

that is the most 1984 thing i've ever seen in my life. >> by the way, that jacket is back. [ laughter ] >> oh my god. >> jimmy: is it true that you and your friends, the commodores, former friends -- >> great friends. >> jimmy: your great friends, the commodores, had an afro contest with the jackson 5? >> did you? >> that is a true story. [ cheers ] i can give you the back end of that. the back end of that is, they won every time. >> jimmy: okay. >> did you see that afro -- >> jimmy: how would it work? be measured with a ruler? >> no, you could look at and it see -- [ laughter ] try to do "dancing machine" and all, out of control. "abc," out of control. but we had commodore revenge. we had pillow fights. >> jimmy: pillow fights with the jacksons? >> but we couldn't beat them up. >> jimmy: why? >> because they're little people. [ laughter ] so what happened was, they were putting michael this big, right in front of jackie, this big. and then you go to hit jackie. and you won't hit michael.

so then jackie knocks your brains out. >> jimmy: i see. >> ah, i broke that up. >> jimmy: what did you do? >> i smacked michael right in the face. [ laughter ] and he went behind the bed, we never had another problem. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: what a life. >> yeah. i know that's politically incorrect, but i mean -- >> jimmy: i don't think it is. it's just weird is what it is. >> yeah, it's weird. it's just weird. >> jimmy: lionel richie, katy perry are with us, "american idol." we'll be right back. mpta. it's the only b-cell treatment for rms i can take at home once a month. kesimpta was proven superior at reducing the rate of relapses active lesions and slowing disability progression vs aubagio. don't take kesimpta if you have hepatitis b and tell your doctor if you have had it, as it could come back.

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my name is luke bryan. >> it better not be. >> definitely luke bryan, i can promise you that. >> no. >> my name is katey perry. >> who are you named after? >> lionel richie. >> if ryan seacrest comes in next, i quit. >> i quit. >> i'm ryan. >> i'm ryan. >> i'm ryan seacrest, nice to meet you. >> you're ryan seacrest? that's your name? >> yeah. >> it's so weird. it's like looking in a mirror! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is weird. that's "american idol." a new season premieres on sunday night. you guys, they didn't find a lionel richie. they find a lionel. >> they find a lionel, you won't find too many lionel richies. >> jimmy: no -- >> thank god, thank god. >> they really push us to our limits on "american idol." >> you have no idea.

>> jimmy: i bet you met a number of katy perrys before? >> i haven't, that was my first one. we filming, such a long day, intense day. at the end of the filming they brought all these people out that literally on their birth certificates have the same names as us. they just brought them out one by one. we thought, no way, no way. then it just -- then ryan seacrest. we were all melting. this is crazy! >> you have to understand, what you were saying about that story i just told you? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> it's crazy on this show. when i say nuts -- >> oh, this show, yeah. >> it's out of control. >> it's so fun. >> first of all, i don't know what they're going to say. >> jimmy: right. >> then we don't know what's coming through the door. >> jimmy: right. >> it's so unscripted, it's unhinged. >> jimmy: do you guys -- i mean, you're both music icons. when you hear a song that you like, it's an artist you've never heard of, do you call, contact that person, reach out? >> no. >> shazam it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you mean you'll -- >> yes and no.

it just depends. i don't know. >> that's a good question. we've never been dealt with that question. that's interesting. >> jimmy: thank you. >> the answer is kind of, no. [ laughter ] >> or you give them some love on social media. >> there you go. >> jimmy: i see, i see. >> that happened for me, madonna did that for me. >> jimmy: madonna did that for you? >> she mentioned my name on radio once, and it went -- zoom, zoom. >> jimmy: is that true? wasn't she your neighbor? >> right down -- two doors down. >> jimmy: two doors down? >> we were -- it was the street of life. because she's at the end of the street, i'm just before you meet the turn. and i'm trying to do something simple like walk the neighborhood. >> jimmy: right. >> at that time, we didn't have the tour bus, per se. >> jimmy: right. >> every car was going to the end of the street, coming back around. i'm waving to everybody all afternoon. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: because they were driving by madonna's house?

>> they were driving by madonna's house. they didn't know this was my house here but they ran into me every day. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you ever go into madonna's house and dance on her ceiling or anything like that? [ laughter ] >> you know, jimmy, i think you're trying to start trouble here. that's in the book, don't worry about it. >> jimmy: you've got a tour coming up, right that you're going to announce here on the show? >> wait, you're announcing something now? >> no, it's not announced now. but it will be -- >> jimmy: yes, we are going to announce it. if i announce it, you have to go. [ laughter ] that's how it works. it's the law. >> you know, it is so true. the thing about it is i'm so excited because i'm -- i've been home for so long. >> jimmy: yeah? >> and so -- you just have to understand this. >> people want you. >> you get antsy, you know. [ cheers ] and you know you're going to -- a very long time when people go, "you still singing?" >> jimmy: oh, really? >> you go, you're kidding me, right? now my point is, yes, i'm still

singing. >> jimmy: will this be called the "yes, i'm still singing" tour? >> i love it. >> not a bad idea. >> "still here." >> jimmy: somebody's going with you but you can't say who it is? right? >> i can't reveal -- but it's going to be exciting. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. i'm still thinking about michael jackson getting clocked by that pillow. [ laughter ] >> i clocked that -- >> jimmy: feathers in the air. >> i clocked that brother. >> what a dream. >> you know what, i'm going to say this now, god bless him. >> jimmy: yes, go ahead. >> it felt good. [ laughter ] so good. >> oh my -- you need to write a book. >> it's coming. >> jimmy: do not go to a bed bath & beyond with lionel richie. the moral of this story, i think. it's great to see you guys. >> nice to see you. >> jimmy: "american idol" premieres sunday night, 8:00 here on abc. lionel richie, katy perry. we'll be back with mike epps. [ cheers and applause ]

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>> jimmy: welcome back. music from beck is on the way. our next guest is an actor, comedian, a day-day, a black doug, and a bennie, too. new episodes of his show "the upshaws" are on netflix now. please welcome mike epps. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very good to see you, how you doing? >> good to see you, jimmy. >> jimmy: did you meet katy perry and lionel richie? >> i seen katy perry, got a picture with lionel richie. >> jimmy: you did, nice, nice. are you a lionel fan in general? >> man, my aunties wanting to give him some for some time. [ cheers and laughter ] i don't know if that was the wrong thing.

>> jimmy: well. >> my aunts say, lionel, you tell him, give him my number. >> jimmy: did he pass any of that along? then you have to pick which aunt to hook him up with. if you had to connect lionel with one of your aunts, which aunt would it be? >> i'd probably pick him up with my aunt go to the liquor store all the time. [ laughter ] she'd get lionel drunk, you time? >> jimmy: have you ever been on a talent show like "american idol" or something like that? >> no, i never been -- you know what, i did. i played "showtime at the apollo." [ cheers ] >> jimmy: did you see the sandman or no? >> i didn't see the sandman, but i'm telling you, that is a dangerous place to perform. this was back in the '90s. while i was performing, i looked over to the side and i seen the sandman. he was looking at me. he was going like this. >> jimmy: you think he wanted to come out on stage? >> he did, he wanted to get me out of there. >> jimmy: what ever happened to the sandman, i wonder? >> the sandman? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i heard he was on crack. [ laughter ]

they said the sandman smoking now. >> jimmy: i sure hope that's not the case, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you went -- like when you started doing stand-up, how old were you at that time? >> i think i might have been 19, 20 years old. >> jimmy: very young, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what were you talking about when you were 19, 20 years old? >> oh, man, what was i talking about at the time? i had -- i think i had just got out of jail maybe two years. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> i was talking about the commissary lists. >> jimmy: was that -- >> $45 in jail. they got the tang on there. yeah, you can hoard the peppermints, little boxes of tide and stuff like that. >> jimmy: did people find that to be relatable? >> not really. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, yeah. >> "we don't know what you're talking" -- like these people here. >> jimmy: was your family surprised when you decided to be a comic?

>> i mean, when i told people i wanted to be a comic, all of a sudden people are like, "i don't remember you being funny." [ laughter ] i was like, "you was just laughing!" >> jimmy: was there one person in your family who supported this, who wanted you to do this? >> when i first started doing comedy, that's how i first started in a competition. i did a competition. at a place called seville's in indianapolis. it's on the north side of indianapolis. [ lone cheer ] yeah. one of my friends, rest in peace, otis brown, he betted me $500 i wouldn't go on stage. they had 13 people that had went up. this is like a bar and grill. and i mean everybody was getting booed off the stage. i'm just back there just drinking, looking. [ laughter ] when i went up, i made everybody laugh.

and they loved me. and oh, man. then the next week i was on the radio. they put me on the radio. "come back for next winter, mike epps, one last week!" everybody was like, "oh, man, i heard you was going to be" -- you know what i did? i put on a suit. i got a little bougie. i went and put a suit on, and i wasn't drunk, and they booed me off the stage. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a good lesson. you've got to be real -- they booed you off the stage? >> they booed me off, jimmy. so the next week, i got drunk again. looked like a bum. >> jimmy: and that worked better? >> it worked better. >> jimmy: did you ever get your $500? >> i got my $500. >> jimmy: you did get the $500. [ cheers ] >> i got my $500. >> jimmy: what a great thing that guy did for you, encouraging you. that was a lot of money, $500, especially at that time. >> it was drug money, it was free money. [ laughter ]

the guy was criminal, he didn't miss the $500 at all. >> jimmy: seems like a good time to ask, how are the kids? [ laughter ] how many kids -- >> what a segue, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> oh, the kids. i got so many kids now. i just ride through the hood and wave. [ laughter ] shout-out to all my beautiful kids out there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have, what, how many dures do you have? >> i've got six daughters. >> jimmy: six daughters. >> six daughters. yeah, so i ain't going to the nursing home. >> jimmy: no, yeah, that's good, right. so for valentine's day, do you get them all flowers? >> no, i don't get all -- you know, i only do that for my wife. >> jimmy: only -- yeah. >> you know, for my kids i just send them a text or something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they say that's just as good. [ laughter ] did you have to buy all six of those daughters a car when they turned legal age, driving age? >> well, you know, i just -- one of my daughters just was 16 a

couple of years ago. i bought her her car. i just had a daughter, shout-out to my daughter madison, just turned 16 two days ago, happy birthday. >> jimmy: happy birthday, madison. >> and she wants a car but they don't have a license yet. so she's upset because i won't buy the car. i said, what are you going to do with the car? she said, i'm going to let it sit in the driveway. no you've got to drive the car. you can't just go sit in it, wash it. she want to sit in it, listen to the music, go back in the house. two more years! >> jimmy: your show "the upshaws" is a show -- wanda sykes is on the show with you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: kim fields is on the show. >> yeah. >> jimmy: based loosely on your life. >> yeah. >> jimmy: something wanda cooked up for you? >> you know what, actually, i called wanda with the idea. >> jimmy: yeah? >> i couldn't get on the phone at first for a long time. then i finally got in touch with her. i shouted her the idea, "let me think about it." she had to think about about if she wanted to be in business with me fir.

>> jimmy: uh-huh? >> she ended up calling me back, we took it to netflix. netflix loved it, we're in our third season now. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: right. >> god is good, man. >> jimmy: it's kind of like a sitcom from the old days. >> it is. >> jimmy: except for there's the language that you wouldn't have heard in the old days. >> oh, yeah. it is. that's why we on netflix, so we can say the things we like to say. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know you got a comedy tour that you're going to kick off in your hometown? >> yeah, "straight jokes, no chasers." me, said brick the daner, d.l. hughley, earthquake, dc young fly. if you see us coming to your town, go get them tickets. >> jimmy: starts march 4th in indianapolis. "great jokes, no chaser." mikest. watch "the upshaws" on netflix. great to see you, mike. we'll be back with beck!