tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC October 3, 2023 11:35pm-12:38am PDT
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chrissy, chrissy, oh, oh! >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, kathy griffin -- luenell -- and music from glen hansard -- with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. thanks. welcome. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here in hollywood, california, on our second night back to work. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. i appreciate that. we were on strike -- we were on
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track for 150 days. i'm glad you're happy to see us. not everyone is happy to see us, i have to say. in particular, this is really interesting. a very loyal viewer, somebody who watches the show a lot and takes it in, 1:05 in the morning last night, 1:05 a.m., posted the following thought. "now that the 'strike' is over, the talentless, low-rated creeps of late night television are back. i knew there was a reason i didn't want to see it settled, true losers!!!" [ laughter ] from real donald trump. this from a man who is such a loser, he buried his ex-wife on a golf course just so he could continue to cheat on her. [ laughter ] you get it, guillermo? >> guillermo: yes, he's terrible, he's the worst. >> jimmy: yeah, but that's -- [ laughter ] well. i love that, with everything going on running for president, 91 felony charges, a $250 million fraud trial, he still finds time to watch his favorite late-night shows. [ laughter ]
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and tantrum about them. let's read through that again. "now that the 'strike' is over, the talentless, low-rated creeps of late night television are back. i knew there was a reason i didn't want to see it settled, true losers!!!" i have to say the way he worded that it almost reads like a network promo. >> announcer: now that the strike is over -- >> it feels good to be back. >> we are back. >> announcer: the talentless, low-rated creeps of late 95 night television are back. >> it's like all wishes came true at once. >> announcer: i knew there was a reason i didn't want it settled. the strike is over and the true losers are back. >> bing, bing, bong, bong! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for the plug. in fairness, you can't argue with him. the man does know talentless, loser creeps. [ laughter ] in fact, he fathered two of them. eric was with his father in court today.
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last night, e.t. was a special guest on the hannity hour desperately, desperately trying to win daddy's love. >> the republicans will never be able to carry the weight my father's carried, never. they want my father to spend tens and tens and tens of millions of dollars. my father came down that escalator. my father had them listed. when you see the amount of buildings my father has built. i'm so thankful i've got the toughest father in the world. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a round-about way of saying, please hug me before you go to jail for the rest of your life. today was day two of his big money fraud trial in new york yesterday, trump's lawyer said mar-a-lago was worth a billion dollars. today, trump said it's worth a billion and a half! it's amazing how much your property value can increase when you just make up numbers in your head. [ laughter ] and what a head it is. i want to draw your attention to exhibit "a" here. this was shot by a photographer for "new york magazine." it's trump arriving in tort yesterday. let's zoom in on that if we
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could. [ laughter ] it's like the opposite of a bikini wax. [ laughter ] i'm imagining a tiny little moses in there, parting the "ah "hesd sea." but the main event was not in new york it was in washington this afternoon the speaker of the house kevin mccarthy has been voted out of his position. if you're not familiar with his face, this is kevin mccarthy. earlier today he had histii ankles smashed by that very gavel. [ laughter ] he is the first speaker in the history of the united states to be removed by a vote of his peers. since 1776, up until now, it hasn't happened. this was an unlikely and historic team-up between far-right republicans and democrats. do you know how much you have to suck to get aoc and matt gaetz on the same side? [ laughter ] kevin mccarthy thought he was going to survive this. this morning, reporters asked if he thought his speakership would survive the night. >> will you still be speaker of the house by the end of tonight? >> you know, if i counted how
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many times someone wanted to knock me out, i would have been gone a long time ago. >> jimmy: well, you're gone now. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] not coming back, either. the movement to unseat kevin mccarthy was led by florida congressvomit matt gaetz. [ laughter ] and he was able to get it done. matt gaetz. he was so happy. they say matt hasn't been this excited since he wandered into the changing room at forever 21. [ laughter and moans ] kevin mccarthy says he will not run for speaker again, which surprised a lot of people, including me. he's a republican, you lose a vote, you just say you won the vote. you get with the program, man! [ laughter ] hey, speaking of car wrecks, last night, i was watching our local abc7 news. and i wanted to share this with a national audience because what i witnessed was one of the great police pursuits and performances by a reporter in a helicopter of all time! >> he pulls into an industrial
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area. and look at this, look at this wild pit there, full-speed into front of the truck, boxing him in here. they will be forced to use force if this driver does anything threatening whatsoever. look at this, backing up into those black and whites. he's backing up and shoving those units out of the way. desperate to get away. officers with their guns drawn. and the k9 unit out, look at this. over the tree, through the trees, trying to get away. look at this. look at that! the primary unit ramming full-speed again. that vehicle is now disabled, the primary unit is now completely disabled. that work truck taking the firs with him. now getting onto the freeway, i think. he just got onto the freeway. he's going the wrong way. the wrong way on the freeway. look at that. it's a female driver. [ laughter ] a female driver jumping out of the vehicle, running into, across lanes. oh my goodness, the female driver running across the 91 freeway. those drivers don't see her. she is not well, she is not
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well, she is not well. she is now running for it, crossing all lanes. this woman continuing the rub of her life, looking for a hiding spot at a denny's. she's at a denny's parking lot. [ laughter ] she is a desperate individual who is acting very, very erratic. well, the wig just fell off. we can't talk about gender, the wig flew off, made it a little confusing. this is out of control. this person running through the front of the denny's. now into the denny's. running into the kenny's. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what a great commercial for denny's. sometimes you'll do crazy things for a moons over my hammy, you know? [ laughter ] congratulations on that all around. just some phenomenal work there. [ applause ] a new season of nba basketball is almost upon us. the season starts october 24th.
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yesterday was media day, where the great jimmy butler of the miami heat stood hair and shoulders above the rest. >> jimmy, last year you came out with the braves, man. what's this? >> i had dreads last year. >> yeah, yeah, dreads. >> what's this? this is my emotional state. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and while i don't doubt that is true jimmy's new hairdo reminds me a lot of my mother's hair. [ laughter ] they have almost the same haircut. and my mom can dunk. [ laughter ] "forbes" magazine today released their annual list of the 400 wealthiest americans. for the second year in a row elon musk is once again the richest man in america and maybe the worst man in america, i'm not sure. elon is worth $251 billion, followed by jeff bezos with $161 billion and those are staggering amounts of money. even just to count to 251 billion you'd have to count non-stop for more than 8,000 years.
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it's hard to even imagine. so we went out on the street and asked the most imaginative people around to give us their thoughts on this thing we call "money." >> what is money? >> um -- it's small coins that -- that you could drop it into water or that helps you pay for things. >> what is money? >> it's stuff that we assign value. even though when you think about it, a person giving you a small slip of green paper with someone's head printed on it for your hours of time and work sounds crazy. i'll explain why that is a really good thing. let's say, and i'm going with an example i found online, you sell shirts, i sell food. you don't want my shirts, i don't want your food, you could find a good that i do want. all money is, is a middleman for
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that third good so that you don't have to go off and search for it. >> where did you learn so much about economics? >> youtube. [ laughter ] >> where do your parents get their money? >> they get grandparents. >> how much money do you have? >> $200. >> where did you get it? >> my gram and grampa. >> where did they get the money? >> from work. >> what do they do? >> steal it. >> they steal it? >> she works, they take money from the cash register. [ audience moans ] >> how do you make money? >> sometimes it's just my mom with language money. >> what's that? >> you know how people say bad wards? every time she says a bad word, she owes me $10. >> really? >> yep. it's a nice living! [ laughter ] >> hold it up so we can see it. >> where is it?
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>> in santa monica. >> $7 million. >> you're a pretty smart kid. i think you're smarter than me. do you agree? >> yes, i do. [ laughter ] you're only broadcasting something on tv. sorry for roasting you in public. although, granted, you can edit that out of the video. >> i have a feeling they're not going to. >> okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i think we may have found our next speaker of the house, right there. [ laughter ] we've got a fun and funny show for you tonight. luenell is here. [ cheers and applause ] we have music from glen hansard. and we'll be right back with kathy griffin. so stick around!
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hey, there, everybody. it's me, jimmy. tonight a genuinely crazy woman with a new standup comedy special "luenell: town business," the very funny luenell is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, he's an actor and oscar-winning singer-songwriter. his album "all that was east is west of me now" comes out october 20th. music from glen hansard. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, the wonderful wanda sykes will be with us. cassidy hutchinson will be here. she worked for donald trump, and guess what? it didn't go that well. [ laughter ] and music from lany, so please join us for that. [ applause ] our first guest is a celebrated grammy and emmy-winning comedian and actor whom you can see live and in the flesh this friday at the mirage theater in fabulous las vegas. please welcome kathy griffin. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: well, it's very good on to see you. how are you feeling? >> i feel better. my voice is a little different because i had lung cancer. it was super high-pitched before, but it's getting better. out i'm cancer-free, i'm okay, i'm cancer-free. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's good. that's great news. if i may, i would like to play a clip of what your voice sounded like the last time you were here. >> it was even higher, yeah. >> let me explain my voice. really quickly, i had lung cancer. they took out half my left lung. and so my voice got some damage. but i'm fine, it doesn't hurt. and the important thing is my boobs are still fabulous. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so is your voice now headed back to normal? >> yeah, i have a paralyzed left cord permanently. my voice will probably always be like this.
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but i'm still hilarious. [ laughter and applause ] i'm funnier, i really am. >> jimmy: you might be funnier. >> i do have half a left lung, and i am bitter against the two-lunged community. [ laughter ] i feel like you guys are judging me with your two lungs. [ laughter ] and so now, like when i'm at the mirage on friday, i wear like the madonna headset. >> jimmy: you do? very interesting, that helps you project a little more? >> yeah, and i have a lot to talk about. >> jimmy: i bet you have many, many things. >> okay, just please don't interrupt me. >> jimmy: sorry. [ laughter ] i know these double-lunged people -- >> it's always with the chitchat. >> jimmy: forcing their way in. >> are you still interested in sports? >> jimmy: okay. >> ugh. [ laughter ] we've been talking about this for decades. i am on a mission before i die to end sports. >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] >> i mean it. because they are the gateway drug to all things negative, especially golf. >> jimmy: i don't even believe it. because i would say, of my many
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friends, you are in the top three of who texts me about sports the most. >> that's true, i do text you a lot. because of trailer. >> jimmy: of what? >> trailer. wake up, grandma. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's trailer? >> taylor swift and what's his face. >> jimmy: travis kelce? >> yes. [ laughter and applause. >> jimmy: is that their name now? >> trailer. you are really out of the loop. >> jimmy: i didn't know. >> i don't know you anymore. [ laughter ] all right, so actually, i watched the competition the other night to see taylor, celebrity, whatever. what i want to tell you is i know that you and your sports fan friends think you can, like, trash talk. and if he starts losing the games of his team -- [ laughter ] then people will turn on her and stuff. let me tell you something. you sports people don't stand a chance against the swifties. [ laughter ]
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not a chance. >> jimmy: you're right, you're right. >> are you kidding? if there's any threat to her or perceived threat, they will dox your kid's teachers, family, they will find out where you live. they shoot to kill. do not mess with them. i fear them because she is my queen. she is my queen. >> jimmy: she is our queen, yes. [ cheers and applause ] i tell you what. yeah, i got a little swiftie living in my house. my daughter is very involved with her. i hope i don't get doxed by her. >> she might dox you. >> jimmy: i would never be so foolish. >> no, don't. >> jimmy: have you been in that situation where you have -- oh, yeah, you've probably -- [ laughter ] >> first of all, i -- >> jimmy: i mean -- >> i had the president dox me. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> i've been doxed by the department of justice. [ laughter ] that was a big doxing. but i don't mean to brag, but
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you know. taylor has her swifties, and i have fans. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: would they have a name? do they have a moniker? >> well, one does. because i brought a fan letter. >> jimmy: oh, right. >> for you tonight by someone who really kind of has a thing for me. >> jimmy: by the way, i was just getting caught up looking at this during is commercials and it's really something. do you want me to read it? >> i would like you to read it with your dramatic re-enactment. >> jimmy: kathy, you know, it's really too bad you and madonna weren't on that "titanic" sub when it imploded. get your s-straight and stop crying. at least madonna was a has-been, not a never-was. shut your rusty hole, dry up, and blow away. christ, shalom, jerry. >> oh, it's --
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>> jimmy: there's a lot to read into. >> i know, let's break it down. >> jimmy: go ahead. >> first of all, i love that he thinks i know madonna. the way i see it, madonna and i are kind of besties. also, i guess the "titanic" was the submarine? i'm not sure what jerry thinks. i will not get my "shoot" straight. madonna's a has-been, you're a never-was, fine. shut your rusty hole. rusty hole is my new drag name. [ cheers and applause ] and i also -- i don't know if it was high holidays? but i am intrigued that he would just put shalom. [ laughter ] shalom, jerry. >> jimmy: christ, and then shalom. >> then sha lamb, that's right. >> jimmy: well, that's just jerry for you, you know? >> is he one of your sports fans? how do you know jerry? >> jimmy: i'm impressed he was able to somehow type this out so neatly on this legal i don't legal pad.
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>> it's typewriter, he used an old-school typewriter, you know. >> jimmy: you think jerry did that? >> you know jer. >> jimmy: that's jerry being jerry. >> that's jerry for you. >> jimmy: do you get a lot of letters like this? >> i do. >> jimmy: that's why you moved? >> i moved to sunny california. i know you can't afford it yet, but someday, james. [ laughter ] someday if you work hard and free. >> jimmy: i love the idea of you in malibu. >> it is heaven. there's all these celebrities who live there who i stalk. i mean, sometimes run into. [ laughter ] and so, first of all, they have this thing called the malibu chili cook-off. they kind of try to act like it's this little neighborhood chili cook-off. oh, no. like, mel gibson shows up. he might kill you. [ laughter ] and allegedly -- allegedly -- we have our own celebrities. by the way, i do live in fear of some of my now neighbors, like sean penn. >> jimmy: what? >> i worship him but fear him. >> jimmy: oh, you know -- >> it's a healthy fear. >> jimmy: you don't need to fear sean penn.
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>> okay, who are you talking for, jerry? all right. and then also nick nolte. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, you've got to watch out for him for sure. >> you have to. what's great is he shows up to the chili cook-off like he just walked out of his mugshot. [ laughter ] the hair. god love him. there's another local celebrity, gary busey. >> jimmy: he is your neighbor. >> thank you. he is my neighbor. recently he may have been arrested again. >> jimmy: was he? >> for -- manually servicing himself at the park. >> jimmy: allegedly. >> allegedly. well, he said what happened was his pants just fell. and then i guess -- it was just -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> so there was wind. we have coastal winds, winds. [ laughter ] now, gary's also been busy. i brought a clip for you of an incident that just happened. maybe my favorite thing is gary doesn't seem to understand what a cell phone camera is.
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>> jimmy: oh. >> can we take a look at it? >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> sir, you hit my car, i need your information! sir! you hit my car! it doesn't matter, you hit my car. no, you rear-ended me. you can't hit someone and then leave. yo! that's not okay! ♪ wouldn't it be nice if we got married ♪ >> you hit my car! sir! you don't get do just leave, hitting someone! dude! what the [ bleep ]? you can't hit someone and then just leave! >> jimmy: and playing the beach boys as he goes. [ laughter ] [ applause ] hasn't a care in the world, he's a beach boys fan. is that so terrible? now look, i have an announcement. >> jimmy: okay. >> i save my big announcements for your show. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> i don't have it yet.
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but i think i'm going to be the next golden bachelorette. >> jimmy: what? [ cheers and applause ] i didn't even know abc was doing "golden bachelorette." >> they don't know either. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i see. wait, and you're married that seems like an issue. >> shh, quiet! a gig is a gig. [ laughter ] or we could be one of those opens. that's very trendy to be open. >> jimmy: maybe so. >> you and your wife have been open for years. >> jimmy: what's that? >> you and the wife have been open for years. >> jimmy: no, no, it's pretty closed, yeah, yeah. >> well, all right -- >> jimmy: i can barely get in. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i think you'd be a great golden bachelorette. >> i'd like to be the golden bachelorette. at the young age of 62 years young, i'm already on my pressure medication, on my cholesterol meds. let me tell you, i would work the hell out of that fantasy suite. i would -- till i was sore.
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till i could barely put on my diapers. [ laughter ] my diaper would be down like i was gary busey at the park, down, down. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: let's do this. kathy griffin for golden bachelorette. we'll be right back! ♪ the new iphone 15 pro is here. built with titanium and featuring the most powerful iphone camera yet. get it with boost infinite and transcend to a wireless utopia. the new titanium iphone 15 pro. on us, no trade-in needed. enjoy unlimited wireless and the latest iphone every year for $60 a month.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is kathy griffin performing live this friday at the mirage theater in las vegas, nevada. kathy, i see you've been keeping up with some of your favorites like britney spears. >> yes. i have to keep up with britney. let me say something. i also fear the "free britney" people, i do. >> jimmy: you should. >> but sometimes -- a person can be too free. [ laughter ] all i'm saying is, i love you gays, i love you free britney people, but you didn't have a plan. [ laughter ] [ applause ] no dogs were harmed in my video, because she had her little doggies running around. >> jimmy: when was the first time you performed in las vegas? do you remember? >> so long ago, a million years ago. first of all, it was a corporate gig, which is like when a company hires you, not like a
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regular audience. corporate, you know. they're like in wars all day, drinking and stuff. it's a tough crowd. [ laughter ] i was opening for the band .38 special. >> jimmy: wow. [ applause ] >> you're welcome. and i bombed so bad. i had the flop sweats dripping not just -- it was like a veil. it was like i was in the shower. all over my body. i could hear squishing as i walked off the stage. it was bad. but this crowd is going to be fantastic, i can't wait. >> jimmy: they're there to see you, it's a different vibe altogether. >> i am doing another gig at the end of the month that i'm very proud of, but i don't think -- i know you a long time, i can say this- i don't think you have the balls. i don't think you have what it takes to ever join me on one of these gigs. >> jimmy: okay. >> i'm doing two shows on a gay cruise. >> jimmy: oh! [ cheers and applause ] wow. now i'll say you're right, i mean, and it has nothing to do with the gay, it's the cruise
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part. [ laughter ] isn't every cruise a gay cruise, really, if you think about it? [ laughter and applause ] i'm hoping, i'm hoping. let me tell you something. you know, i've known you over the years. and every so often you'll throw one of your parties or barbecues or whatever. what's cute is you and your friends think you're so wild. "oh, we stayed up until 1:00 in the morning!" let me tell you something, honey. these gays party. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do they? >> you have no idea. >> jimmy: really? >> they get on the boat, and it's all bets are off. first of all, they get on the boat and they're handed a metal military dog tag and it has three stickers on it. and one is red, one's yellow, one is green. and you take off the one. watch how everyone's listening to this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i am fascinated, teach us the ways. >> you know what the gays are more organized. >> jimmy: and they have more fun, yeah. >> so the red button means,
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forget it, i'm here with my husband, it's just the two of us. which is b.s. the yellow one means, i can be talked into it. the green one is, i'm the sloppy bottom, i'm the sloppy top, everything goes. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: really? >> fabulous. the activities on a heterosexual cruise, the gym is usually kind of empty? no, those gays line up for soul cycle at 6:00 a.m. and then they have theme parties. so they usually have a "breaking bad" theme party. because the gays love walter white. because he makes meth. >> jimmy: what? [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: is that true? >> 100%. >> jimmy: i've never heard such a thing. >> i know. [ laughter ] so you come to the party, there's walter white or jesse pinkman. >> jimmy: really? >> then you go and you pretend you're cooking meth. then you hook up with a guy who's a green tag. and it's all about the tag.
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and then the buffet is empty because the gays can't touch the carbs. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's nobody eating? >> you have to fit into the thong. now, they also have dry erase boards on their door. they put their schedule. >> jimmy: what? >> they will say, like, you know, 9:00 a.m., aerobics with jimmy or some stuff. just say, like, available for anything, bend me over. [ laughter ] which is very direct, i appreciate that. >> jimmy: sure, yeah, yeah. >> yes. then they'll say, 8:00, kathy griffin show. and if they find out which cabin i'm in, i'm not safe. [ laughter ] i'm not safe, james. >> jimmy: is your husband, randy, going on this trip with you? >> all right, so my husband is my tour manager. and this will be his 12th gay cruise with me. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. >> yes. >> jimmy: may i ask, if it's not too forward what color dog tag does he wear? >> he's got green. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kathy griffin, everybody! you can see her live friday at
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the mirage theater in las vegas. thank you, kathy. we'll be back with lunelle! all that chocolate and caramel. and a ghoulish green cookie! it's-it's more than more. it's more... (groan) errr!!! yes! it's more-er! all right! [zombie arm pulls off] that costume is more-er! whoa. there's more-errr!!! to a twix! new emergen-c crystals pop and fizz when you throw them back. and who doesn't love a good throwback? [sfx: video game sound]
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>> lou: it's time to play "who's upside down?" one of these jugglers is upside down. blood is rushing to their head, and they very well may pass out. who can it be? >> it's me! i'm getting busy! >> lou: thanks for playing "who's upside down?" when i wanted to see results fast, rinvoq delivered rapid symptom relief and helped leave bathroom urgency behind. check. when uc tried to slow me down... i got lasting, steroid-free remission with rinvoq. check.
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>> jimmy: hi, there. we have music from glen hansard on the way. our next guest is a force of nature with glorious nails made of twinkling teflon. her new netflix special produced by dave chappelle is called "luenell: town business" and you can see her live every sunday and monday night at jimmy kimmel's comedy club in vegas. i hear he's terrific. place say hello to luenell! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you look great. this is a spectacular ensemble. >> thank you, jimmy.
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i'm getting ready for the holidays. >> jimmy: getting ready for the holidays. it's also very las vegas, which you know i like. >> it is. >> jimmy: thank you for being at the comedy club twice a week. the show is super popular. everybody wants to come see you all the time. people say, "hey, i saw luenell at your comedy club in las vegas." >> that's awesome. everybody's been to see me but you, jimmy. i said that the last time i was here. why do you keep running from what's inevitable? why are you fighting this love, jimmy, why? [ applause ] >> jimmy: you're right, but luckily for me, you came here. >> yes, and you can always watch the special in the comfort of your own home. >> jimmy: i did watch your special, it's very funny. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's not really a stand-up comedy special, it's a sitdown comedy special? >> it's not an august block, i can sit down if i want to. >> jimmy: are you living in las vegas full-time now? >> part-time. but i have -- thanks to jimmy -- purchased my first home in las vegas. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice.
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>> i go back and forth between my home in los angeles and my home in las vegas. >> jimmy: you had been staying in a hotel? >> yeah, i've been staying in the flamingo. >> jimmy: the flamingo, yeah. they have flamingos there at the flamingo. >> they have pink flamingos at the flamingo. depending how much you drink, you can see them all the time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you like living there in vegas? >> i love living in vegas, actually. i didn't know that i would. but i do. it's like the piece i didn't know i needed. >> jimmy: are you a nevada resident? >> i am a nevada resident. i had to go through all the paperwork to do that. >> jimmy: is there a lot of paperwork? >> you know. well, you're from there. so you already -- you're exempt. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> yeah, you got to change, like, your car insurance from california to nevada. hurry up and do the exchange rate. [ laughter ] going to the dmv is like hanging
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in purgatory, sort of. you don't know what's going to happen when you get there. you never have everything. you always missing something. you got to come back. then of course, you know, i am luenell. so there was a whole big fuss when i went to the window and all that stuff. i was trying to be low-key. >> jimmy: right. [ laughter ] >> did not work. >> jimmy: do you, on your driver's license, is there a last name? or just luenell? >> i'm fighting to remove my last name. >> jimmy: i don't blame you. >> i want to be like madonna, cher, luenell. that's it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a very special category to be in. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you, like -- do you gamble? do you go to shows? do you really experience -- >> i don't gamble. i think in all the months i've been there, i might have spent $20 just waiting for a valet. because i go to make money, i don't go to give it away. [ cheers and applause ] but i do enjoy going to the shows. >> jimmy: you do? >> uh-huh. i saw "david copperfield."
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>> jimmy: how was it? he's got a t-rex in that show. >> david copperfield, i don't want to diss david copperfield. i've been so used to him being such a magician rock star. he was dating supermodels, hanging from helicopters, making the statue of liberty move. baaahh! at the end. he's a little older now, it's like, nrp. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ta-da! >> yeah. then i go and i saw my -- one of my heartthrobs, wayne newton. the wayne. >> jimmy: wayne? >> as we call him in the hood, he's got street cred. >> jimmy: does he? >> yeah, he's outlasted all of them. everybody that talked about him, johnny and elvis and everyone -- >> jimmy: he knew all those guys. >> that's right. the wayne is still here, still performing. suited up. looking good. still charismatic. still charming. and the videos and the pictures that he shows during his show, they take you back to the las
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vegas that you heard of. >> jimmy: were you a wayne newton fan as a young person? >> yes, i always pull for the underdog, being one myself. i noted they used to tease him about his weight. they said his voice was high. called him sissy. who's got the last laugh now? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. do you know wayne? are you friendly? >> yes, i know wayne. we are friendly. i've been to his home. i took a selfie in his bathroom. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you went to his house? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you could pay to go into his house now? >> enough about wayne, let's talk about me, jimmy. [ laughter ] he don't need no publicity. >> jimmy: let's talk about your comedy special. you've got dave chappelle. is he the producer of your special? >> he is, he is. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow, that's pretty great. you do shows with him sometimes, right? >> yes, i'm going to be doing some very soon. like tomorrow. >> jimmy: oh, you have a show with dave tomorrow? >> yes, in chicago. >> jimmy: oh, that will be fun. >> uh-huh.
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and others and stuff. but you know, it's really great to have been in the game as long as i have and finally be recognized by someone like dave. you know, the first person who ever took me on tour, gave me any props, was kat williams, you feel me? i have cat, i have you, i have dave. [ applause ] who else do i need? that goes for you too, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah, well, i -- >> you told me too, july jimmy. i talk do you every night. i know you got a bug in there. "hey, jimmy, thank you." >> jimmy: tell those who don't know what town business means. >> if you're an oakland, california, it's just a way we do things. a slang that we use to refer how we get down. you know? there's a certain way that you need to carry yourself and conduct yourself around oakland. unfortunately, you know, if you don't do that, you're going to get got. it's a very -- you know. >> jimmy: it's bad to get got?
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>> yeah. >> jimmy: you don't want to get got? >> you don't want to get got, unless you get got by me, you know. i'm painless. >> jimmy: that is the town business that you're doing? >> that's -- well, yeah. what i did to be able to bring chappelle and netflix to oakland in such a bad time, you know. oakland was getting a lot of bad publicity because there's a lot of bad things going on there. to be able to bring that back to oakland and try to give them something good to talk about. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and it was sort of like my love letter to oakland, because i am from the streets of oakland. i rode all the buses. i walked all the streets. i've performed in all the parks. the rest homes. the convention centers. the birthday parties. the barbecue pits. i mean, barbecue places on picnic tables at the zoo. everywhere. >> jimmy: at the zoo? >> i've performed at nolan park on a picnic table. >> jimmy: at the zoo?
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>> at the -- yes. [ laughter ] they got a "there. . >> jimmy: look at you now. you've got a big comedy special produced by dave chappelle. it's unbelievable. >> it is unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's wonderful to see you. congratulations on all your success. i mean, it's unbelievable. >> thank you. and like i say, i want to thank you too. because of you, i'm the only black female with a comedy residency in las vegas. that's because of you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nice. luenell, everybody! chappelle's home team "luenell: town business" is on netflix now and see luenell every sunday and monday night at the beautifully named jimmy kimmel's comedy club in las vegas. thank you. we'll be back with glen hansard!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ night has fallen let's go out into it bring a blanket and a bottle ♪ ♪ i'll need a friend to get me through it ♪ ♪ and lately in this life there's no quick fix ♪ ♪ or easy answers gonna put all our troubles to right ♪ ♪ in love it's the same there's no doubt blues is running the game ♪ ♪ keep your lantern trimmed and burning till the end of the night ♪ ♪ put your cheek to the wind when you go without then you'll go within ♪ ♪ if it comes to blows take it all on the chin there's no worthier fight ♪ ♪ we're working working through it
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losing is a dirty ♪ ♪ word i know but sometimes it's all we can do ♪ ♪ and lately this life has been bruised and it's been broken ♪ ♪ and it's lost a little spark of divine ♪ ♪ and right as i thought i was soaring the thunder came roaring in ♪ ♪ and cut me down to size ♪ ♪ and right as i had all of the answers you said no there's ♪ ♪ no mountain worth its salt gonna be easy to climb ♪ ♪ but we climbed it and we scaled it and when the wind and the ♪ ♪ weather were working together i knew we wouldn't fail ♪ ♪ and we see it
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and we take it and if we fall by the ♪ ♪ side at least we'll know that we tried to leave a little light on our way ♪ ♪ and right as i thought i was losing that truth came bruising ♪ ♪ and cut me right down in my pride ♪ ♪ and right as i thought i was all out of answers you said no there's no ♪ ♪ mountain great or small you can't climb ♪ ♪ oh yeah there's no mountain you can't move or you can't climb ♪ ♪ but we climbed it and we scaled it and when the wind and the ♪ ♪ weather are working together i knew that we could make it ♪ ♪ and we see it and we take it ♪
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♪ there's no mountain you can't move or you can't climb ♪ ♪ there's no mountain you can't move or you can't climb ♪ this is "nightline." >> juju: tonight, kevin mccarthy out. congressional history moud on the haas floor today. >> at the end of the day, if i have to lose my job over it, so be it. >> juju: how it happened, who's in charge, what comes next? coming due. student loan borrowers back on the hook for more than
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