i'm right now on jimmy kimmel. dax shepard we look at city hall tonight lit up to honor senator dianne feinstein previously on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> an adulting in rockingham county and a child in care local county have been diagnosed with the virus transferred from the

bike of a black-legged dick -- tick, excuse me. [ laughter ] >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- dax shepard. nicole avant. and music from boy-with-uke. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, everybody. hi there, how are you? welcome. hi, everybody. i'm the host of the show. i thank you for watching. we are coming to you from our secret headquarters in hollywood, where today it was an unseasonably and unreasonably hot day today, it was 93 degrees. it was so hot we got a warning this morning from the l.a. branch of the national weather service urging residents of southern california to drink plenty of fluids and avoid caffeine and alcohol. i'm not sure if they're trying to save us from heatstroke or

convert us to mormonism. [ laughter ] but it's of concern. speaking of hot, it was "golden bachelor" night here on abc. we have a bachelor who's 70 and a president who's 100. [ laughter ] what a time to be alive. if you haven't seen it, "the golden bachelor" is very similar to the regular "bachelor." the main difference is instead of a hot tub, they have a walk-in bathtub. [ laughter ] tonight they talked a lot about getting up to pee in the night. [ laughter ] they talked about -- it's not a joke -- whose knees could handle the top bunk. this guy, gerry, bonded with one of the women because they both have hearing aids. which he might want to turn off, because on this version of "the bachelor" there's a lot more complaining. >> do the rose ceremony in kamala harris. you have people in here 60, 70, and above. do the rose ceremony in the chairs. >> jimmy: and turn up the heat, no, turn down the heat, i'm too hot now. [ laughter ] the breakout star was my own

aunt chippy. [ cheers and applause ] she has been -- single lady, she's been single since she killed my uncle frank. [ laughter ] she's 84 years old. turned out aunt chippy was a little bit too golden for this round of "the bachelor." >> hello. >> welcome. >> oh my gosh, hi! >> this ain't no 80-year-old club, that's for sure. >> now the party has started. let me tell you something, i don't belong here. those ladies are really something. look at this one. oh! i'm in the wrong place. >> jimmy: the right place for aunt chippy is in front of a slot machine with two cigarettes in her mouth. [ laughter ] it was a long night and she didn't quite make it all the way through the rose ceremony. [ laughter ] >> aunt chippy? hi. >> hi. >> are you doing okay? >> did i get a rose? [ laughter ]

>> unfortunately, you didn't get one. >> did i at least get a petal? >> all the petals have been handed out, i'm so sorry. >> [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] i'm going to go. >> did you have a good nap, at least? >> i did. i want to take the couch home. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: at her house, the sofas are covered in plastic so that was a real treat. maybe the most dramatic thing that happened on "the golden bachelor" tonight was the promo for next week's episode of "bachelor in paradise." >> the serious medical emergency. >> i am going on nine days of no pooping. >> without that movement -- almost like a poo baby. sunrise tomorrow morning, walk to the operating room -- >> i'm scared. >> don't worry. >> i got your poo-poo platter right here. >> she's putting food in, no food's coming out. >> i'm going to get it out of you, i promise. >> it's all next week. [ laughter ]

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all next week? maybe some of next week -- all next week on "enema island." [ laughter ] what kind of show is this? and did that turtle know what it was signing up for? [ laughter ] we've got a whole new focus on incontinence this year. "the golden bachelor" is a big hit, though. the show has been so strong ratings-wise, that abc is already giving the green light to another spinoff. >> from the producers of "the golden bachelor" -- >> i'm going to meet the woman of my dreams. >> comes a new search for love. one downward dog looking for his fur-ever mate. 24 barking beauties in the most dramatic dog-gone "bachelor" season ever. who will get a rose? and who will get a bone? [ laughter ] will it be daisy? bella? an old comforter? a roomba? his own bed? this man's head?

a la-z-boy recliner? a giant stuffed bear? this lithuanian grandma? or absolutely nothing at all? the fantasy suite off the leash. "the golden retriever: love is a bitch" only on abc. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: see, that's why we needed the writers back. speaking of horny dogs, florida representative matt gaetz is the least popular guy in congress right now. [ laughter ] ted cruz must be glowing. they hate matt gaetz. gaetz this week led the charge to remove fellow republican kevin mccarthy as the speaker of the house, and now several gop lawmakers want to get rid of him. unfortunately, you can never fully get rid of matt gaetz. you can only suppress him temporarily with valtrex. [ laughter ] but his kliegs are so upset they're throwing it all at the wall. including this explosive allegation from senator markwayne mullin of oklahoma. >> this is a guy that the media

didn't give the time of day to after he was accused of sleeping with an underage girl. there's a reason why no one in the conference came and defended him. because we had all seen the videos he was showing on the house floor that all of us had walked away of the girls he had slept with. heing brothered how he crushed e.d. medicine and chased it with an energy drink so he could go all night. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now you tell us? mullen wasn't the only republican piling on. marc short, former chief of staff for mike pence, told jake tapper of cnn he doesn't believe gaetz is in congress for the right reasons. >> i think that what's concerning is, we really are $33 trillion in debt, we do have a border crisis, there's a lot of issues that need to be solved. but the people who were masquerading as fiscal conservatives really, really aren't, jake. i mean, matt gaits, to say he came as a fiscal crusader, it's more he came for the teenage interns on capitol hill, to be honest.

>> jimmy: wow. they're feeding on themselves. it's like "alien versus sexual predator." [ laughter ] it's unclear whether or not republicans have enough votes to kick gaetz out of their conference. but the hunt for the next speaker is on. the leading candidates are jim jordan and steve scalise. i dont like either one of those guys. why not lauren boebert as speaker of the house? we saw at that beetlejuice musical, she does know how to reach across the aisle. [ rim shot ] [ laughter and applause ] some of the maga wing of the party is floating the idea of donald trump would make a great speaker of the house. turns out, you don't need to be in congress to be the speaker. trump hasn't confirmed whether or not he would be interested in the job, but he did announce he'd already won the vote. "it was a landslide maybe bigger than a landslide." he did not attend his fraud trial today in new york. he reportedly got frustrated yesterday and left halfway through it like it was don junior's 10th birthday party or something. [ laughter ]

of course he left. did we actually expect him to sit there and listen to testimony day after day? the man has the attention span of a baby goldfish swimming in a bowl full of four loko. [ laughter ] and on top of everything else we have a new report from abc news that says trump shared classified information about our nuclear submarine capabilities with some random guy at mar-a-lago. apparently, he blabbed a bunch of top secret information to an australian billionaire, who then shared it with a bunch of people. including more than a dozen foreign officials, several of his employees, and a handful of journalists. he told at least 45 people. i have to say -- honestly, we owe a major debt of gratitude to kentucky fried chicken. literally the only time donald trump's mouth is not actively destroying america is when it's full of their drumstick. [ laughter and applause ] i say, thank you, kfc. this is our first week back to

work after the strike. someone who had a rough go of it while we were away was mr. mike lindell, the mypillow guy, who seems to be finally running out of money. says the irs is trying to shut down his call centers. the lawyers defending him in that $1.3 billion case dominion filed against him have apparently had enough. >> ten minutes ago, all the lawyers we have for mypillow and myself in the lawsuits with the dominion and smartmatic, he just filed in federal court to drop us as attorneys. and this comes from the basically, and the media, attacks on my pillow, what american express did, devastating our credit. and we have to -- i -- i can't pay the lawyers. we can't pay. there's no money left to pay them. >> jimmy: and they won't accept

pillows at payment instead? [ laughter ] what kind of lawyers are these? that's just terrible. it's a sad day in this country when a patriot like mike lindell is being held accountable for trying to help overthrow an election, while dominion voting machines are still out wandering the streets. [ laughter ] >> in order for us to keep full capacity at mypillow, what do we have to do? talk to us. >> we need the support now more than ever. and you guys have done it. you know, i'm sitting here, you know -- amidst all this devastation, my employees are counting on everyone getting our great usa products, mypillow 2.0, they're down there working right now. we've got this on sale, $39.98. the towels $39.98. >> jimmy: that's not even $40, $39.98! if every person in america could just buy 500,000 towels, he'll be okay. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i'm afraid that the future does not look bright for mike. he claimed mypillow lost $100 million after a bunch of stores

dropped his products. he had a liquidation sale at his factory. he sold his sewing machines. he sold 19 massage tables. he sold his trucks. he sold a lot of stuff. so i thought it might be nice to check in to see how he's holding up. mike, pillow man, are you there? can you hear me? >> hello, this is my pillow with mylindell. what's your problem? they ain't lumpy! thems are patented slumber chunks. no refunds! >> jimmy: mike, what are you doing? >> who is this one? >> jimmy: jimmy kimmel. >> jenny candle? why are you calling me? >> jimmy: i'm not on the phone, i'm here, i'm on -- >> holy cripes, where have you been? i haven't seen you in ages. i thought they did a cancel culture on you like they did to tupac shakira. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, mike. they didn't do a chance sell culture. my show was off the air because of the writers' strike. >> is that why there ain't been no new episodes of "joanie loves chachi"? [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: no, that's not why. i think that show went off the air 40 years ago. >> holy baloney! time flies when ya spent most of the eighties sniffin booger sugar with tila tequila and chuck sheen! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's what they say. i wanted to ask you, sorry, about this fire sale you had -- >> who is it had a fire sale, you said? >> jimmy: you, you sold everything in your factory. how did the sale go? >> terrible! nobody can afford to buy a wheelbarrow full of dead pigeon feathers anymore on account of this bidenomics. which is why for a limited time you can get 80% off using promo code: wheelbarrow full of dead pigeon feathers. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i also saw you were trying to sell 19 massage tables. i'm wondering why a pillow factory needed 19 massage tables? >> because in the state of minnesota, if you have 20, they'd make you register as a brothel. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, okay, all right. that makes sense. >> what now? your pillow caught fire? course it did. it's highly flammable, stop smokinging you dumb --

>> jimmy: mike, what's going on over there? what did that guy do? >> dominion sent their goons here, and now they're ransackaling everything that's not glued down. good idea. better not -- >> jimmy: what are you doing to your computer? oh, mike -- don't drink the glue. do not -- >> i have to! i need the vitamin "g"! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i don't think you do. i think those people are repo guys. they're probably taking your stuff because you owe money. >> you can't take that! i won that fair and square in the lake winnibigoshish dog eating contest. >> jimmy: you mean hot dog eating contest? >> of course they're hot. you gotta cook 'em. you ever you try to eat cold dalmatian? [ laughter ] it's a good way to get hookworm! >> jimmy: mike, i also read that american express slashed your line of credit. >> no, no. that's all square. now i do all my banking with mexican express. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, i've never heard of mexican express. >> it's great! to make a deposit, you just gotta hire a coyote to get ya

across the nation to lupe. and don't forget to bring a treat for the coyote or it'll eat your dingle-majig. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, it's an actual coyote? >> no! not my jan 6th commemorative plates! i just got the one of that viking fella takin' a squatter in speaker pelosi's top drawer. >> jimmy: oh, they're beautiful, beautiful. >> nobody's going to get this, this one's mine. >> jimmy: you don't want to lose that, yeah. well mike, i hope you're doing okay even though it seems you are not. >> don't worry about me! i'm running out of food, but in just a few weeks i can start eatin' pumpkins off my neighbor's porch again! >> jimmy: okay, that's good. >> hey! bring that back! i was using that as pants! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: you know what, seems like you've got your hands full. you know what we'll do, we'll check back in on you in another five months. >> lupe! lupe! necessito mas dinero. por los pantalones! los pantalones! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's going through some difficult times. as you can see, he's quite blessed.

we have a good show for you tonight. she has a new book. nicole avant is here. we have music from boy with uke. and we'll be right back with dax shepard.

♪ california sky ♪ ♪ todos alcanzamos las estrellas ♪ ♪ sunny state of mind ♪

♪ flexin' all the time ♪ ♪ todo es dorado ♪ ♪ y nos gusta picante ♪ ♪ cause this place is caliente ♪ ♪ 'tamos enchilado ♪ ♪ feels so golden ♪ ♪ livin' in the golden state with you ♪ ♪ feels so golden ♪ ♪ vive en el estado dorado oooh ♪ ♪ we got that drip, drip, drip ♪ ♪ come take a sip, sip, sip ♪ ♪ feels so golden ♪ ♪ vive en el estado dorado ♪

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back. tonight, her new book is called "think you'll be happy: moving through grief with grit, grace, and gratitude." nicole avant is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, he put his mask on during the pandemic and hasn't taken it off since. his new album, "lucid dreams," comes out tomorrow. music from boy with uke. [ cheers and applause ] next week, we have a great week. we've got new shows with amy poehler, josh duhamel, bert kreischer, nicole byer, billie eilish and phineas, and sean penn will be here. we'll have music from grace potter, megan maroney, manskin and wilco too. he's join us for that. our first guest tonight is a podcasting juggernaut. he rules the mighty "armchair expert" empire. his newest audio delight is called "f-1 with drs." please say hello to dax shepard. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: you look very handsome. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look great except for what happened at the bottom there? it's like you ran out of steam on dressing up. >> with the shoes? >> jimmy: with the shoes. >> i phoned it in with the shoes. here's where i told myself the lie, i'm like, similar fabric. right? i thought the suit was kind of whatever fabric this is, i could pull that off. >> jimmy: i like all the filth on the bottom of the shoe, that's a nice touch. >> it's not a new pair of shoes. i'm going to tell you the truth about my whole suit wardrobe, which is i've never purchased a suit in my life. >> jimmy: never? >> no, i get them when i work. i hosted a game show three years ago, they baug me nine suits. i've gained 25 pounds since then, none of them fit. i don't know where to get a suit. they shut down the sears by my house 13 years ago. [ laughter ] target? i don't know.

where would i even go? i'll show you, let you in on a little secret. >> jimmy: okay. >> this is my kid's friendship bracelet rubber band. [ laughter ] that's the only way i can wear this shirt because my neck doesn't fit or the veins will pop. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i have to tell you something, we had arnold schwarzenegger on the show monday and i think you're still the most muscular guest of the week. >> does he have any shirts he would like to loan me? >> jimmy: i bet you he's got a ton of shirts he could give you. >> he's got to, he's loaded. >> you love him, right? >> i love him so much. did you see the doc on him? truly a beautiful doc. i love him on all the levels. grew up watching him blast people to death in every movie. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> as you know, i got to ride motorcycles with him when he was still the governor. i got invited on this motorcycle riding -- >> jimmy: i remember that, you had a time where you were hanging out with the governor. >> yes. i don't know why that ended. but we'll get there. [ laughter ] i go on this motorcycle riding

thing. we're all eating breakfast. it's a group of ten guys. i go to the bathroom. when i come back he goes, "you know, dax, i've seen you with the paddle, i've seen youhilari" i'm so happy. i've been on tv five minutes and he seems to know everything we've done. we leave the restaurant and i say to tom arnold, who's also there, "do you believe schwarzenegger has seen all my stuff?" he's like, "buddy, when you went to the bathroom he's like, who the hell is this guy?" [ laughter ] at this breakfast i had done, arrogantly, my impersonation of him, as you should do the first time you meet him -- >> jimmy: or anyone, really. >> it's a great ice breaker. so i get a call a week later. and it's -- sincerely, "will you please hold for the governor?" i thought, someone's messing with me. there's no way. "dax, how are you doing? i had such a good time having

breakfast with you. i really enjoyed you doing the impersonation of me. i'm doing some events, i'd love to bring you out on stage and do the impersonation." "arnold, you're a republican and i'm a libertarian." at the time, i was. not anymore. anyways. "i'm a libertarian." he goes, "me too." i swear to god. and i go, "all right, let's do it!" so then i started going to -- i guess republican fund-raisers. and i would bring him on stage and that was going really well. "dax, i'm going to raise some money, i'm going to do a roast of myself, i want you to present and make fun of me, it's going to be great." i'm like, "okay." so i take his book, which i had read, "education of a body builder, 1968." i had read it. my only roast was to get on stage and read verbatim what's written in this book. because there is a chapter about he and his best friend, franco,

lifting weights in the woods in germany naked. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he mentioned franco, yeah. >> he loves franco, that's another sweet part of him. i'm reading it out loud. "we would go out into the woods for hours, naked, lifting weights and drinking red wine and eating raw meat like gladiators from a bygone era!" [ applause ] my take was, it's not even metaphorical now. you guys are banging in the woods. [ laughter ] naked, drinking red wine, eating raw meat. the romans, we know what they did. >> jimmy: did he wonder why people were laughing at his autobiography? >> this is the best part of him, it's his superpower. he came up on stage and he goes, "oh, that was great, you know, that really was a great way to get to pump." sincerely. everything's positive.

that's his gift. everything's positive. so i got to spend all this time with him, then eventually, i'd say maybe the zenith of the experience was he invited me to his house to watch a movie. in like his movie theeter. >> okay. >> so i go up there. it's incredible. he opens the door. he's in a robe. like a terry cloth robe, his initials on it. >> jimmy: awesome. >> maria's there, the children are there, i'm there. somehow. going in, watch this movie that's still in the theaters, i can't remember what it was. he sat in the front row, and about six minutes into the program, he goes -- arrghh -- and he sleeps through the whole movie. wakes up with six minutes left. movie ends. he's like, "what a film, did you see that? incredible!" [ applause ] >> jimmy: he's positive. >> he's just a dad. i was like, oh, my hero's also a dad. sleeping through the entire movie. >> jimmy: has he been on your

podcast? >> no. >> jimmy: how can that be? although you don't need him, you could do him the whole time. >> i might have him on. >> jimmy: dax shepherd is with us. we'll be right back. [ "am:pm" by notd begins ] how good does it feel when threshold decor welcomes more seasonal style for less? when you can save on good & gather groceries in all the fall flavors. and when quality ingredients bring more to the table. when you get low prices on the latest trends. when rewards come with quality and coziness. and when you're serving up taste they love at low prices. that's totally target. with scope squeez mouthwash concentrate, just add water, squeeze to control the strength of your mouthwash, ♪ and find a zone all your own. ♪ scope squeez.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we are back with dax shep shepard. his podcast is "the armchair expert." most persons have one, two podcasts. you've got how many now?

>> i'm on four a week. >> jimmy: four a week. >> yeah, let's go through them real quick. >> is the quality suffering? sure. was it better when i did one? you bet. >> jimmy: the now one is about formula 1 racing? >> i did that thing that happens to a lot of people, i love talking about formula 1, i should have a podcast about it, and here we are. we talk about formula 1 -- we rarely get to formula 1. this week we talked about prostate health. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> i heard a disturbing thing on the way in to record it, yeah. >> jimmy: that set you off? >> they're supposed to be having a lot of evacuations. no, that's not the right word. you know what you need to have a lot of this a month to protect your prostate. i'm not having enough of those. i got very scared that i'm vulnerable. >> jimmy: what's the number? >> 20. >> jimmy: 20? >> 20 a month. >> jimmy: really? 20 a month? >> that's too much.

>> jimmy: you hear that, guillermo? >> guillermo: yeah, i did, yeah. i think it's too much. >> i would have thought you were going to say, that's not enough. given the story i heard. >> jimmy: he doesn't even know what we're talking about. [ laughter ] so the podcast can be about whatever? it's you and a few friends talking about this kind of stuff? >> yes, me and three friends and we talk. >> jimmy: you had a great, great interview with david letterman. i was on your podcast, we were talking about this a couple of weeks ago. >> yeah. you were incredible on it, by the way. >> jimmy: i had a lot of fun, it's always fun with you. david letterman -- one of the things about your podcast, you do it at your house. >> that's right. >> jimmy: which means david letterman comes to your house. >> yes, he came to my house. you know, i was very nervous. he's my and your hero. >> jimmy: right, sure. >> we worship him. so i was sitting in the house kind of patiently awaiting dave letterman to come by. and the car pulled into the driveway. and we're having a garage built. and there were maybe eight workers in the garage that were taking their lunch break.

i see the car pull up. then dave, he gets out of the car in that very dave way, kind of looks around. then he walks to the garage. goes straight into the garage where the guys are eating. "gang, you've done a great job, let's all knock off early for the day." [ laughter ] [ applause ] then he turned around and strolled out of there. >> jimmy: and the guys took that seriously, go home? >> fortunately, that was a language barrier. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, great. >> i think they knew that bearded man was dave letterman, he just said something to them. everyone was tickled. >> jimmy: this is your time of year in the neighborhood. you do something very generous and very unusual in your neighborhood every halloween? >> yeah, i'm not going to pretend we don't live in a nice neighborhood. we live in a very nice neighborhood, we're very proper people. we're straight hillbillies from michigan. you've got to go on a hay ride for halloween. i will be hosting, this will be the fourth year, a hay ride

through the neighborhood during halloween, during trick-or-treating. everyone's so charmed by this. because they don't know anyone that can tow a trailer, much less do a hay ride. >> jimmy: you get a trailer. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: fill it with hay. >> fill it with hay, got music blasting, there's lights. the neighborhood's tight. everyone's back there. doing u-turns, they are blown away. the whole thing has resulted in, they're so tolerant of me and my daughters riding dirt bikes through this very nice neighborhood. >> jimmy: because they appreciate it. >> we're in dune buggies, on dirt bakes, breaking all the hoa laws. we have a bus parked in front of the house, you're not allowed to have that. >> jimmy: you're not. >> this hay ride has totally gotten us carte blanche. >> jimmy: you pick people up, they jump on, ride around the neighborhood? >> that's right. in fact, the people, obviously they're in companies assume. there's other fancy people -- i've interviewed people and they've said, "hey, i had a great time on your hay ride." "you were on my hay ride?" "yeah, dressed as a ghoul."

kristen stewart, it was her. i've had celebrities on the hay ride and not known. natalie portman was on the hay ride. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yes. >> jimmy: they just jump on, you drive them around, you drop them off? >> they think they've tell ported to a different state. >> jimmy: it does sound like that, yeah. >> it's really out of the ordinary for that neighborhood. >> jimmy: you don't race other hay rides or anything like that? >> i would love to. if there's another, they can duel me in the alley. >> jimmy: what if somebody were to set up a competing hay ride in your neighborhood? i can only think of one person who might do that. >> there would be blood in the streets. who would do that? >> jimmy: you know i would. >> you, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] prowling your neighborhood -- >> jimmy: good, there's nobody out there. it's great to have you here. >> it's a pleasure. >> jimmy: congratulations on all the success of the podcast. i know it is available on all platforms. >> anywhere you would listen so a podcast, you can listen to "armchair universe." f-1, it's all there.

please tell molly -- >> jimmy: she's right there, you can tell her. dax shepherd, everybody. we'll be back with nicole avant! i told myself i was ok with my moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis symptoms. with my psoriatic arthritis symptoms. but just ok isn't ok. and i was done settling. if you still have symptoms after a tnf blocker like humira or enbrel, rinvoq is different and may help. rinvoq is a once-daily pill that can dramatically relieve ra and psa symptoms, including fatigue for some. it can stop joint damage. and in psa, can leave skin clear or almost clear. rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tb. serious infections and blood clots, some fatal; cancers, including lymphoma and skin cancer; death, heart attack, stroke, and tears in the stomach or intestines occurred. people 50 and older with at least one heart disease risk factor have higher risks. don't take if allergic to rinvoq as serious reactions can occur. tell your doctor if you are or may become pregnant.

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>> jimmy: nicole avant and boy with uke are coming up. but first, it's thursday night. that means it's time to bleep and blur the big moments of the week whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> today is national name your [ bleep ] day. >> we have fun facts about this national holiday. we're coming up with names for all our staffmembers' [ bleep ]s whether they like it or not. >> kevin mccarthy [ bleep ]s us [ bleep ] live. wild night. >> here's the thing, i'll done [ bleep ]ing kevin mccarthy. i'm not [ bleep ]ing him anymore. >> my poor mom, have you [ bleep ]ed my mom yet? my mom's this italian lady. >> your day today, we are back

in business if your business is [ bleep ] and [ bleep ] at 76. >> you are a great [ bleep ]. part of you reminds me of my wife. >> these monsters want to [ bleep ] my father in a courthouse, they want to have my father [ bleep ] tens and tens and millions of [ bleep ]. >> tanya and chad, a married couple in their 50s -- >> we've probably all swallowed our gum at one time or not. is it actually okay to do that? >> tell me where bad grandma hides her weed. >> in her [ bleep ]. hides her weed. >> in her [ bleep ]. >> in her [ bleep ]? waiting for a family. waiting to be loved. older and special-needs shelter dogs wait the longest to find loving people. that's why subaru created national make a dog's day: to help these special underdogs never feel left behind again.

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>> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. music from boy with uke is on the way. our next guest is a filmmaker, activist, and former u.s. ambassador. her new book "think you'll be happy: moving through grief with grit, grace, and gratitude" comes out october 17th. please welcome nicole avant. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. >> thank you, i'm happy to be here. >> jimmy: i'm happy to have you here. we're going to start with a tough subject. you lost your father this year. >> i did. >> jimmy: you lost your mother, murdered a couple, two years ago almost. >> almost two years. >> jimmy: here in los angeles. while you were grieving, you wrote this book. >> yes. >> jimmy: which is based on something your mother texted you. >> yes. her last text to me was, "think

you'll be happy?" we were talking about a sweet potato pie she took home by accident for thanksgiving. "mom, i'll get the buy tomorrow." she said, "okay, think you'll be happy." never heard from her again, never saw her again, that was it. >> jimmy: did you recognize that the sentence would have a double meaning at that time? >> i didn't. i really didn't. >> jimmy: maybe a triple meaning, even? >> i was already working on "grid, gratitude and grace." i wanted to write that. then when this tragedy happened i thought, okay, i need a book on this. because i don't know what to do. you know anybody -- >> jimmy: who does, really. >> i don't know. and so then all of a sudden it was like, wait, think you'll be happy? that is the mantra that my mom wants me to live by. think you'll be happy. >> jimmy: because if you think you'll be happy, you'll be happy. makes sense. >> she was a big believer in, you create your environment with

whatever you say, whatever you think about, constantly. that's going to be your life. >> jimmy: when i'm reading this book, and i'm reading about things your mom and your dad said to you, which are incredible quotes and so smart. it makes me -- i can't even believe it. because i think -- my parents never said anything like this at all. i mean, my dad would yell, "close your mouth while you're eating" every once in a while. [ laughter ] that was as close to it as we got. first of all, your dad, people hoff seen the documentary "black godfather." this incredible guy who helped so many famous people with their careers. who are some of the names of some of the people? >> he signed bill withers. he worked with muhammad ali. jim brown. hank aaron. whitney houston. don cornelius. it goes on and on.

>> jimmy: these people would come to your house when you were a kid? >> all the time. >> jimmy: all the time. did that seem normal to you? >> it did when i was growing up. i didn't know they were famous until my friends' parents were drop my friends off and they're, "is that harry belafonte?" "yes, how do you know harry?" they didn't act famous. they were talking about moving society forward. helping people through an open door. you know, they were always talking business. making something out of their lives. using their fame for good. >> jimmy: muhammad ali was somebody who hung out at your house? >> yeah. >> jimmy: he would do magic tricks? >> all the time, yeah, he was great. >> jimmy: would he have the boxing gloves on? >> no. but he loved doing this thing where he'd find a coin, it would be behind my ear. he'd make all these noises. he was just yate. he was funny and start. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and very, very wise. >> jimmy: the greatest, he really was the greatest. you gathered that from him, i

assume you were a kid when he was around? >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah, because i never really talked to any of my parents' friends either. [ laughter ] every once in a while you get accused of stealing something out of their coat on this the bed, that was about as close as you got. >> you should have hung out at my house. >> jimmy: this is a great picture. it's not from your house. this is backstage when? when did this happen? >> that was 1988. and we were in france. >> jimmy: your dad, your mom -- >> my mom, dad, brother alex. >> jimmy: michael jackson? >> michael jackson, yeah. >> jimmy: your dad promoted his tour? reluctantly, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. how did -- i mean, why was he reluctant to promote michael jackson's tour? >> he didn't really know anything about promotions. so he -- michael said, you're going to be the perfect person, i want you in charge, we're going to travel, we'll go -- we're going to do a world tour. and then it was my mom who

convinced my dad, this is great, this is great for the kids, this is great for all of us, we're going to travel as a family. and we did. we got to be with one of the greatest. >> jimmy: would you hang around with michael jackson? >> yeah, backstage, yeah. i would watch him rehearse. i would get up early and watch him rehearse, which was, you know -- that was a show in itself. >> jimmy: i would imagine so. >> yeah. >> jimmy: then years go by. you become -- president obama makes you ambassador to the because. >> yes. >> jimmy: did you have any -- do you have to train to be an ambassador? you just show up? >> they give you training. you go to washington, they give you a class. depending which country you're going to. >> jimmy: were you in a class with other ambassadors? >> yes. >> jimmy: there's an ambassador class? >> there's an ambassador class, yeah. >> jimmy: there is a grade at the end? [ laughter ] can you fail ambassador class? >> i -- not really. i mean, some people can be excused from the class, i would say, yes. but for the most part, we're all -- they were all really great. >> jimmy: also when the last time you were at the white

house? >> the last time i was at the white house was just last year. last december. it would have been the first anniversary of my mom's death. and i dreaded that day. december 1st. i'm thinking, oh my god, this is going to be the worst day of my life forever. then my husband, ted, came home and said, "you'll never brief this, we got invited to a state dinner and it's with your favorite person." "who?" "president macron." he's my favorite. then he said, "really, guess what the date is? you're not going to believe this." he said, "december 1st. how do you feel?" i go, "we're going, my mom would want me to go, my mom would want me to enjoy myself." so we went. >> jimmy: and you met the president of france? >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: did you gush over him? >> a little bit, jimmy, yes. you read the book. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you've met everybody, i would think that wouldn't be a big deal to you.

>> i don't freak out over most people. but in houston, michael jordan ask sting were the ones that i would just crumble. i just would stop talking. and then macron just became one of those people. but i didn't know that until i got to the white house. and i was in the receiving line. and i know how to be ambsassadorial. i know how to stand properly. >> jimmy: you learned it in class. [ laughter ] >> and then i kept saying to ted, "do i say, you're a wonderful world leader? or do i say, uryou're one of the best presidents france has ever had?" he said, "whatever you do, be calm, cool, collected." i'm like, "of course i would." it's me, i know how to do that. i walked up. president biden was looking at me. he was the first in the receiving line. i say hello. the corner of my eye, the president of france is staring and i turned at looked at him and i lost all composure. and i said, "ah! oh -- you -- should be -- the

president of the entire world!" [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: how far -- >> that was bad. that was really bad. >> jimmy: how far were you from president biden at this moment? [ laughter ] >> this far. he looked at me as if i was a train wreck. the wives looked a at me -- trying to shake their head, "no, thank you." the secret service is, "ambassador down." >> jimmy: surprising to say, you will not be getting another ambassadorship? >> i'm never going back. i want to be an ambassador, yes. to the white house? i don't know if i'm going to be invited back. >> jimmy: maybe you'll get france, be the french ambassador to the united states, you know? this is the book. "think you'll be happy: moving through grief with grit, grace, and gratitude." it comes out october 17th. nicole avant, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. be back with boy with uke!

>> jimmy: thanks to dax shepard and nicole avant. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is up next, but first, his album "lucid dreams" came out just a few minutes ago. here with the song "migraine,"

boy with uke! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm not a psycho but i might go crazy writing typos they ask ♪ ♪ why so shaky missing my coat all this pressure hitting my head ♪ ♪ i'm on a tightrope can't hit the high notes baby i need ibuprofen ♪ ♪ i know that you'll take me back home don't leave me alone ♪ ♪ i need a friend i don't care what you think of me ♪ ♪ i just want to be on top i'm not stressed that you've never heard of me ♪ ♪ you'll be listening nonstop hop off the highway i've been having migraines ♪ ♪ i've been waiting for a while to have it my way oof just a boy ♪ ♪ acting like a goof i've got 55 voices saying i gotta do what they all ♪ ♪ say got me looking sideways i don't wanna write a song about a ♪ ♪ heartbreak oof just a boy acting like a fool got a hundred things ♪

♪ i'd rather do yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i don't like when they try controlling me ♪ ♪ the thoughts i fight they can get a little frightening but i don't ♪ ♪ mind if it means i get to be free i speak my mind loud ♪ ♪ when i wanna be up all night i can tell they're getting sick of me ♪ ♪ but i don't mind if it means i get to be me i don't care what ♪ ♪ you think of me i just want to be on top i'm not stressed that ♪ ♪ you've never heard of me you'll be listening nonstop ♪ ♪ hop off the highway i've been having migraines i've been waiting for a ♪ ♪ while to have it my way oof just a boy acting like a goof i've got ♪ ♪ 55 voices saying i gotta do what they all say ♪ ♪ got me looking sideways i don't wanna write a song about a heartbreak ♪ ♪ oof just a boy acting like a fool got a hundred ♪

♪ things i'd rather do whoa ♪ ♪ whoa whoa oh oh whoa ♪ ♪ i just wanna run around but what do i know ♪ ♪ like i said before i'm missing all these high notes ♪ ♪ i just wanna live a little before i go i don't wanna lie low ♪ ♪ yeah i know the subliminal messages they're sending me on how to leave a ♪ ♪ legacy it's harder when you're farther and they're never letting constantly ♪ ♪ and speaking over what you see it's like they're coming after me can ♪ ♪ someone teach me how to breathe tell me what i need ♪ ♪ i don't care what you think of me you'll be listening ♪ ♪ nonstop hop off the highway i've been having migraines ♪ ♪ i've been waiting for a while to have it my way oof just a boy acting like a goof i've got ♪ ♪ 55 voices saying i gotta do what they all say ♪ ♪ got me looking sideways i don't wanna write a song about a heartbreak ♪ ♪ oof just a boy acting

like a fool got a hundred things i'd rather do ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is "nightline." >> byron: tonight, ruby franke, alarming new allegations. the utah mommy blogger whose