our website. it's up for you on the top news sidebar at abc7 news.com. >> that's fantastic design space. all right. a reminder, you can watch all of our newscasts live and on demand through the abc7 bay area connected tv app. it's available for apple tv, google tv, amazon fire tv and of course roku. download the app now and hey, you can start streaming. >> all right. thank you so much for watching. i'm ahmad daetz. >> and i'm dan ashley. for sandy patel. larry beale. all of us, we appreciate your time right now on jimmy kimmel, arnold schwarzenegger, have a great night and a wonderful weekend >> jimmy: and the thing is, the strike has been going on so long, i just don't know if i'll be back. >> you'll be back. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you always say that. >> you always will be back. >> jimmy: but when?

>> now! the show is starting. get to the chopper! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's a chopper? >> there always is a chopper. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- arnold schwarzenegger, and music from jason isbell and the 400 unit, with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. i appreciate that. i'm the host. oh, actually, that's very kind.

i have one thing i have to take care of. apparently -- apparently while we were gone, they've been renting our studio out as a pickleball court. [ laughter ] sorry, guys. you can't play here. you have to wrap it up, take it some place else. i'm sorry. try james corden's studio, he moved to england. [ laughter and applause. >> jimmy: thanks. well, hi, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. i don't know about yourself either. in case you have forgotten, my name is jimmy. i have been off the air for five months. we've been gone so long, the bachelor is now a grandfather. [ laughter ] we missed so much good stuff. donald trump got arrested four times while we're on strike. [ cheers and applause ] once for the classified documents. once for interfering with the election, once for january 6th, and once for shooting tupac. allegedly. [ laughter ]

you know what the weirdest thing about being off the air is? when i walk into a room, nobody claps. [ laughter ] i walk into costco, i get nothing. so it's really great to be back. arnold schwarzenegger is here. [ cheering and applause ] you know arnold was our governor during the last writer's strike in 2007. he knew how the handle a strike. he told both sides to get back to the negotiating table or he would crack it with his forehead. and they did. [ laughter ] this one went on for 148 days. and i just want to take a moment to thank our crew, and all the union crews -- [ cheers and applause ] -- for supporting our writers, iatse, the teamsters union, all refused to cross our picket lines. and we owe them for that. thanks largely to them, this is a big win for the little guy, and a big win for the chubby guy and the hairy dude and the girl that doesn't make eye contact and the two potheads in the "star wars" t-shirts that are too small for their bodies and the guy who's too old to have a ponytail and the lady whose cats each have are in own instagram

pages. [ laughter ] we call them writers and they're all back to work. thank goodness. [ cheers and applause ] and we hope that the actors and the autoworkers and the health care workers all get the contracts they deserve. i missed being here. i really did. i missed the writers, i missed the band. i missed all these guys. i missed our staff, i missed our crew. i missed our announcer, lou. lou, i missed you and your hair looks great. [ cheers and applause ] >> lou: i had a lot of time. >> jimmy: i missed guillermo, my security guard. where is guillermo, by the way? oh, wow. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo, holy-moly! did you go to prison and not tell me? [ laughter ] bring out the real guillermo. [ cheering ] there's the guillermo i missed. >> guillermo: hi, everybody! >> jimmy: even got taller. >> guillermo: thank you, goodbye! >> jimmy: you look muy guapo. did you miss coming to work,

guillermo? >> guillermo: yes, jimmy, i love working. i'm happy to be here, yes! >> jimmy: what was the worst part of being at home? [ laughter ] >> guillermo: not allowed to drink, jimmy. my wife doesn't let me drink. >> jimmy: that's right. guillermo has a very strict policy. he only drinks at work. [ laughter ] g that's right, yeah. you let me drink a lot. >> jimmy: who did you miss most? and don't say me. who did you miss most? on our staff while you were gone? >> guillermo: cousin micki and cleto sr. >> jimmy: very good. that's nice. cleto, you're the winner and cousin micki too. here's how i knew we were really back to work. our parents are texting notes about the show again. [ laughter ] one of our writers got this message from his mother this morning at 6:11 a.m. she wrote, "please don't make tonight's monologue all about trump." [ laughter ] well, sorry josh's mom, that is a no-can-do. [ cheers and applause ] i am backed up like you would not believe.

and he's taunting us. he was here in california over the weekend for a fundraiser. while he was here, he stopped at a carvel ice cream store, and he grabbed them by the cookie puss. [ laughter ] he didn't even ask permission. it's rare you see fudgie the whale go into a carvel. that's exactly what he did. and then goofy headed toward disneyland for a fundraiser at the anaheim marriott, where supporters from all around the southland paid $600 a pop for bright new ideas like this solution to our ongoing problem with forest fires. >> they say that there is so much water up north that i want to have the overflow areas go into your forest and dampen your forest. if you dampen your forest, you're not going to have the forest fires that are burning at levels that nobody has ever seen before. and we can dampen our forests with water that will cost us nothing that will come pouring down from the north. wouldn't that be nice? if you had dampened floors, you wouldn't have forest fires. we'll work on that too. >> jimmy: he is so right. why didn't we think of dampening

the forest? [ laughter ] that should be his slogan for 2024. "dft, dampen the forests." [ laughter and applause ] trump also floated an exciting new theory about how local water restrictions affect the rich. >> we have droughts. where rich people in beverly hills, we don't feel so sorry for them, but i do actually. you know, they pay millions of dollars in taxes. they're taking a shower, they're told to hurry up. you're only allowed a small amount of water when they're taking a shower. that's why rich people from beverly hills generally speaking don't smell so good. when you meet somebody with a beautiful house in beverly hills, you know that person is sort of disgusting. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that ridiculous man had the nuclear codes for four years. [ laughter ] wait until he finds out about the showers in prison. he is not going to be happy. [ laughter ] [ applause ] trump is now facing 91 felony counts. 91 felony counts.

it's like all of melania's birthday wishes came true at once. [ laughter ] every time something trump happened in the news, i would get texts asking me if i was bummed we didn't have a show that night, and mostly, i was fine. but the one that really got me was when they booked trump in georgia, and he self-reported his weight at 215 pounds. [ laughter ] i almost crossed the picket line for that. if i were the judge in the case he has going in new york right now, i'd start the trial by saying "look, we're gonna get to the fraud thing, but first? hop up on this scale, big fella." [ laughter ] if he's 215 pounds, that means he is 30 pounds lighter than his last physical. when he was president, he was 245 pounds. which means he is either lying or the colonel is now frying his chicken in ozempic. [ laughter ] i don't know. this is interesting. they had to take a mug shot when they booked him. he posed very seriously for the mug shot and made a t-shirt out of it to sell to his fans. now this to me is classic donald trump. he's selling a "never surrender"

shirt with a picture of him in the act of surrendering on it. [ laughter ] trump has a lot of trial dates coming up. he was in court in manhattan today for opening statements in the $250 million civil fraud case against him. the judge has already ruled that he's liable because he inflated the value of his assets to get favorable terms on bank loans and insurance payments. and this is how he responded to those inflation allegations. >> i have one property that's worth anywhere from 50 to 100 times what this judge put down as the value, put down a value $18 million, and the property is probably worth -- could be anywhere from 50 to 100 times more than that. and a lot of those numbers could even be low. >> jimmy: only donald trump would inflate the value of his assets while on trial for inflating the value of his assets. [ laughter ] [ applause ] this is unprecedented.

this is like if r kelly walked up to the courthouse and started peeing on the stairs. [ laughter ] cameras were not allowed in the courtroom, but someone on the inside was able to score this incredible footage before the proceedings began. >> this is letitia james, the attorney general of new york sitting right there. you can see donald trump sitting there next to his attorney, christopher kai, his lead counsel. we're not sure if the judge has ruled on this matter yet. but nevertheless, you are seeing pictures. and there is the judge himself, arthur engoron. >> this is pretty unusual. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did someone tell the judge he was shooting the beginning of an '80s sitcom? [ laughter and applause ] trump has been railing against this particular judge for a while now, and unfortunately for him, that judge alone will determine the verdict. there will not be a jury, which would probably have given trump better odds of getting off, because -- and this is true -- trump's dummy lawyers forgot to fill out the form requesting a jury trial.

[ audience moans ] only the best people. but with that said, trump must be convinced he is going to lose, because when they broke for lunch, he continued to lash out at the judge. >> we're going to be here for months with a judge that already made up his mind. it's ridiculous. he is a democrat judge. he is an operative, and it's ridiculous. other than that, things went very well. >> will you come back after lunch? >> probably. >> jimmy: and josh's mother thinks we shouldn't talk about him. [ laughter ] the scamburglar had a campaign rally in iowa yesterday where we slowed him down to half speed for tonight's electrifying return of "drunk donald trump." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ playing tape very slowly ] >> but if i'm sitting down and that boat's going down, and i'm on top of the battery, i know water starts flooding in. i'm getting concerned.

but then i look ten yards to my left, and there is a shark over there. so i have a choice of electrocution or a shark. you know what i'm going to take? electrocution. i will take electrocution every single time. ♪ >> jimmy: that's the right choice. very good choice. and i believe that's the plot to the new "saw" movie. [ laughter ] five months is a long time for us to be off. i tried to keep busy. i started a podcast with four of my fellow talk show hosts called "strike force five." [ thunder ] we did it to raise money for our staff members who were out of work. we still, by the way, have two episodes and thousands of t-shirts left to sell. [ laughter ] the strike ended exactly on the day we ordered the shirts and hats. if you want one, go to strikeforcefive.com, or i'll be giving them out until christmas

2045, okay? [ laughter ] i spent a lot of time with the kids. we actually took the kids on a trip to palm beach over the summer, which was nice, but the hotel we stayed at was terrible. [ laughter ] the bathroom was a mess. there were boxes of documents piled everywhere. one of the boxes was 15 years of unopened father's day cards. [ laughter ] really sad. we went to new hampshire, where i got a chance to be in the audience for one of those cnn town halls. you know those? >> this woman, i don't know her, i never met her, i have no idea who she is. i had a picture taken years ago with her and her husband. nice guy, john johnson. he was a newscaster, very nice man. she called him an ape. happens to be african american. called him an ape. the judge wouldn't allow us to put that in. her dog, or her cat was named vagina. the judge wouldn't allow to put that in. all of these things.

but with her, they can put in anything. >> jimmy: good night, vagina. it's time to go to bed. then we went to washington, where i was running out of money. i was able to pick up a gig delivering books to congress. >> let's take two books that have been much discussed. the first one is called "all boys aren't blue." and i will quote from it. "i put some lube on and got him on his knees. and i began to slide into him from behind. i got a new strap-on harness today. i can't wait to put it on. it will fit my favorite dildo perfectly. you're going to look so hot. i can't wait to have your [ bleep ] in my mouth.

i'm going give you the [ bleep ] of your life, then i want you inside of me, end quote. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is one sick old lady, i tell you that. [ applause ] so then we went to las vegas. i went to vegas a couple of times. i was there this weekend. we saw u2 at the sphere, which was incredible. and i got to see cardi b live at drai's. ♪ >> jimmy: that's how i got covid, i'm pretty sure. [ applause ] did you guys hear about the incident involving lauren boebert at "beetlejuice"? turns out, lauren boebert is a lot more fun than she seems. [ laughter ] if you missed it, boebert was ejected from a performance of "beetlejuice: the musical" in denver for unruly behavior. she was singing loudly, vaping, and getting a little too handsy with her date. and someone we all know well was there to witness this.

>> the dcpa says she was vaping. boebert's team denied that, said the haze was from fog machines in the show. that claim goes up in smoke when you see the video. the pregnant woman sitting behind boebert told the denver post she asked her to stop vaping and boebert refused, before ushers returned and told boebert she had to leave. the theater incident report says boebert pulled the "don't you know who i am" card on the way out, appearing to give theater employees the single finger salute. >> jimmy: there's our little tequilajuice. probably the most unpleasant thing that happened to me while we were away is that while we were traveling i had the worst flying experience of my life. >> and a recent delta flight was forced to return after a passenger reportedly suffered diarrhea on the plane. the passenger was unable to hold it, resulting in diarrhea throughout the entire aircraft. >> well, i just want to say i'm so sorry about all the diarrhea in the aircraft. i want to apologize to the

pilots and the flight attendants and all the passengers on the plane who were so nice. and the janitorial staff, i really want to apologize to them on behalf of my wife, molly mcnearney. [ laughter ] she wanted to let me know that she was very sick, and she is so sorry, and she will never diarrhea all over the plane again, she promises. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: again, i want to say that molly feels terrible about the whole thing. and she's feeling so much better right now. isn't that right, molly? [ applause ] next time, you go before we leave the house, okay? [ laughter ] hey, we got a great first show back. we have music from jason isbell and the 400 unit. [ cheers and applause ] and we have one of our favorite guests here. we'll be right back with the one

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: hey there. welcome back. tonight, he is a four-time grammy award winner. his latest album is called "weathervanes." music from jason isbell and the 400 unit. [ cheering and applause ] starting october 12th, jason kicks off eight shows at the ryman auditorium in nashville, tennessee. he's very, very popular. we're back at it, jumping right back in this week with wanda sykes, dax shepherd, luenell will be with us, kathy griffin will be here. cassidy hutchinson, the former aide to don trump, plus music from glen hansard, lany, and boy-with-uke. so please join us for all of that. our guest tonight is a man of many monikers. he is a seven-time mr. olympia, two-term governor of california and one-time barbarian with a new book called "be useful: seven tools for life." it comes out october 10th. please welcome arnold schwarzenegger. [ cheering and applause ] ♪

♪ >> jimmy: thank you for being here. it's great to have you here on our first night back. i always love talking to you. and you were governor during that writers' strike in 2007 when we were on the air at that time. did you get involved in that? is that a governor's place even to get involved with the strike and to bring both sides together to try to get them to settle? >> well, you try to inspire them to speed up the process. >> jimmy: i see. threatening them physically? [ laughter ] >> that too. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> but the things that you wish you could do you can't do. >> jimmy: as governor? >> as governor, it doesn't matter what you are. >> jimmy: really?

>> when i think about when i was a kid, and my brother and i, we would have a fight or a disagreement. my father would just lock us in the room and says you can't get out of here until you solve the problem. so i say to myself, that would be actually a great idea for a dispute like that. >> jimmy: an escape room, yeah. [ laughter ] >> and imagine now that you have the strike, the writers strike and the actors strike. >> jimmy: yes. >> and you go and say okay, the studio executives and the union leaders, they have to go in the room and you lock them up. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> and you can't get out before the strike is settled. >> jimmy: but what if -- >> before the negotiations are settled. >> jimmy: yes. >> you say there will be no food. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but actors don't eat food anyway. >> and bathrooms. no nothing. >> jimmy: really? okay. >> imagine now the studio execs, always they can't go to spago's. they can't go to any of their favorite restaurants. >> jimmy: yes.

>> the union leaders, they'll get upset. they have to go home. they want to be with their families. so there is an urgency there. i can guarantee you within a few days, the strike will be settled. >> jimmy: right, right. >> that's the way you have to do it. >> jimmy: maybe put them in a plane covered with diarrhea. >> that's another good idea. exactly. that's why i say no bathrooms. >> you must have -- i would imagine you have great appreciation for screenwriters because you as an actor have delivered more of -- more classic one-liners than probably anyone ever. yes? >> well, absolutely, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: like the one we always talk about, "i'll be back," did you know when you saw that on the page that that was going to be a big deal? >> no. i have to say that most of the lines that i've used we did not know ahead of time that they're going to be funny lines or lines that people will repeat over and over again. and then with "i'll be back," i remember in the beginning a dispute, the director and i, because i couldn't really -- i

didn't feel comfortable with this "i'll." "i'll be back." this "ll" type of a thing. so i said to him, why don't i -- since i already talk like a machine, why don't i say "i will be back." and he says no, no, it doesn't sound as good. i said, "it sounds better to me." he said, "let's forget about the i'll be back." he said, "just do "i'll be back." "i said, let's just do, i will be back. he said, "arnold, are you the [ bleep ] writer? what is going on here? no, i'm not the writer. "well, i'm the writer so i decide what we're going to do, and we're going to stay with i'll be back. that's exactly what we did. we shot ten different takes with "i'll be back" and one of them they used. and we did not know this is going to be such a famous line. until the movie came out. i remember walked in central park, and someone came up to me and said, "can you repeat this line, you say in german?" "which line?" "i'll be back." "i'll be back." "no, no, no, the way you say it

in the movie. the way you say it in the movie is just perfect." "i'll be back." "yeah, yeah, yeah!" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i want to ask you a quick question about donald trump, because, you know, you guys both hosted "the apprentice." you don't necessarily see eye to eye on most things. he listed his weight at 215 pounds. [ laughter ] you are one of the foremost experts on the male physique, bodybuilding, et cetera. when you size him up, what would you guess that man weighs? >> you know, i don't really know how much he weighs. i can tell you one thing. that if he would ask me what should he do for fitness, i would say run around yourself three times and you're going to be in great shape. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: so you think it is possible that he weighs 215 pounds? >> yes, as much as it is possible that there is no climate change. [ laughter ]

as much as possible don't really need to reduce pollution. look, we all know that the way he is. and if it makes him feel good to, you know, tell everyone he weighs 215, i think everyone laughs about it because he does not look like he weighs 215. [ laughter and applause ] a little bit more like maybe 315. >> jimmy: 315? yeah. [ laughter ] when you mentioned climate change. when i hear you talk about things, i always have to remind myself that you're technically a republican, because it doesn't seem like you're a republican, on a lot of important things. like climate change is one of them. what do you think when you look at the party and what's going on right now in congress. do you think -- do you think of yourself as a republican still? >> i'm a proud republican. and i tell you why, because i'm a traditional republican. remember that the one that put

most of the land aside for future generations was teddy roosevelt. he was a republican. ronald reagan created the air resources board in california. most important board in order to really be able to execute all the things, all the laws that we passed. president nixon created the epa, the environmental protection agency in washington. nixon wanted to do universal health care. these, what people did, were sane republicans and really thinking about what was good for the people rather than being stuck in the ideological corners. today a lot of republicans and a lot of politicians get stuck in their ideological corners. and they just can't get along, which is totally ridiculous because we all know, especially since i learned a lot of my lessons from sports, that you cannot win as a team if you don't work together. and americans have to work together, democrats and republicans have to work together. [ cheers and applause ]

that is the bottom line. >> jimmy: yeah. but at a certain point, traditional republican party doesn't exist anymore. >> we have to inspire that. it doesn't mean we should run the other way or give up. there are moments in life where it needs leadership and where you have to encourage people to work together. i tell you one thing. whenever i go back to washington and lobby for money for after school programs, stuff like that, sometimes administrations want to take that money out. so i go back and lobby. and i ask a bunch of democrats and a bunch of republicans to come together. i explain to them why after school programs are very important, that 70% of the kids come from homes where both of the parents are working, and therefore we need to have something available, some adult supervision in the afternoon, and on and on and on. both parties, democrats and republicans, they come together and say around, we promise you, we're going to fight for the money so it stays in the budget. i don't see those fights that you normally see in washington. i think what we need is

leadership to bring people together and to teach both parties not to look at the other side as the enemy. we're all on the same side of the fence. we're americans. and we have to come together. the greatest things are always accomplished in america if we work together, democrats and republicans alike, working together. that's what we have to encourage them to do [ applause ] >> jimmy: this is the book, it is "be useful: seven tools for life." we'll be right back with arnold schwarzenegger. i have moderate to severe crohn's disease. now, there's skyrizi. ♪ things are looking up ♪ ♪ i've got symptom relief ♪ ♪ control of my crohn's means everything to me. ♪ ♪ ♪ control is everything to me. ♪ feel significant symptom relief with skyrizi, including less abdominal pain and fewer bowel movements at 4 weeks. skyrizi is the first and only il-23 inhibitor for crohn's that can deliver both clinical remission and endoscopic improvement.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we are back with the one and only arnold schwarzenegger. this is his book called "be useful: seven tools for life." why did you write this book? >> to help people become more successful. i've been asked so many times, you know, how did you do this in bodybuilding? how do you do this in acting? how did you come to america? how did you get your visa over here? how did you become successful? how did you become rich? and all those kind of things. i tell myself, people need help. you know, we have in everything that you do, go skiing, you have a skiing coach and stuff like that. you play soccer, you have a soccer coach. there is very rarely anyone around that is teaching people simple rules, or giving them the tools that they can use to become more successful. and really, because people are frustrated sometimes. they cannot -- they don't know how to move forward, how to get a job that they really like, how to make more money, how to become financially independent, how to become a greater athlete, how to pick a goal, or whatever

it is. and so this book gets into all of the things that i've learned throughout the years and how to become more successful, and how to do the kind of things that really seep inside your heart in creating a vision and then chasing that vision with all the energy that you have. >> jimmy: in a way, you wrote this so people would stop bothering you? [ laughter ] >> basically, yeah. >> jimmy: you mention in the book that when you came to los angeles, you worked as a bricklayer for some time. which you had a business with another bodybuilder? >> yes. in bodybuilding, there was no money. so it was kind of like even though i was already a professional bodybuilder, but there was like being an amateur. we couldn't make a living. so we were doing seminars and doing posing exhibitions and strongmen acts. but we knew there was not enough money to really start saving money, putting some money aside and buying maybe some real

estate and starting to invest. so we started working at -- my friend was a professional bricklayer. so i said to him, why don't we partner, let's go and get together and start doing brick-laying jobs. i will be your laborer, and i will mix the cement and do all those kind of things and get the material and figure out how much it would cost, and write down the estimates. i was good in business and good in math. and so that's exactly what we did. and so what is really funny about it, we had this kind of -- he was italian, and i was austrian. and they always argue about things. [ laughter ] and so we created this argument. i remember there was people that said how much will this cost? and frank would say this is $5,000. and the person would say, i cannot afford $5,000. i said, let me deal with it.

i would write up things in german with centimeters and millimeters that no one could understand, put an estimate together. and then schilling and all this stuff. and then franco, and franco -- and franco -- and so we would be creating this huge fight in the corner, and then we would go back to the guy and said, we did it. it's going to be $4,388 exactly. but of course, it cost only $2,000 really to do the job. so i mean, the guy felt like he got a really great break. >> jimmy: yeah, sure, everybody's happy. >> we made really good money. that's what we did. to me it was talk about that in the book, how i used the day, the 24 hours fully. because i slept six hours. we worked five, six hours every day, and i went to school for two hours a day. i worked out five hours a day. i went to acting classes. and all of this kind of stuff all packed into one day. so there is a lot of stuff that i did.

>> jimmy: you had quite a day in april. and i don't know if you remember this happening. you probably remember it. there was a video on the news, there was a pothole in your neighborhood, and you got sick of the pothole and you said -- well, let's show that video. you got out there. you filled the pothole yourself. >> you're welcome! do it yourself. this is crazy. for three weeks i've been waiting for this hole to be closed. [ applause ] >> jimmy: so then the city or somebody said, wait a minute, that wasn't a pothole. that was -- what did they say it was? >> a service trench. >> a service trench. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a service trench. >> and there was a man down in there, right? [ laughter ] >> i bet the man was there for a month. and nothing happened. and the whole got bigger and bigger, and people started wiping out on their bicycles and motorcycles. this is ridiculous. the city would not respond at all. and so i said, well, i'm going get some asphalt. i know exactly how to do it. i used to do construction. >> jimmy: you and franco, yeah.

>> so get the asphalt, and we started fixing it. i did the same thing up in sun valley in idaho. there was a road that was getting up to our house. and the -- in april, the snow started going away and melting. the ice started melting. and the hole started getting bigger and bigger. and and now it was end of august and the hole was still not fixed. so i again went out and got some asphalt and started fixing the holes there and all this stuff. i joust -- look, the bottom -- >> jimmy: you take care of business. >> the bottom line is it doesn't help when you sit out there and complain. the question you always have to ask yourself, what do you do about it? >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> when people say education is not good in our public schools, what do you do about it? are you going to help the kids reading, with the reading, help with the tutoring? going to help and do something for the community, for our education system or for the kids or something like that? what do you do? the same is with this one.

it doesn't make any sense if you start complaining. the citizens don't lose their job, they're lazy, don't have the priorities right, all this stuff. if i can go and do something, i can go and fix it. and it's done. >> jimmy: and it's done. >> and now i tell you, it's the best fixed pothole there is, that i can guarantee you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations. i know you have a new grandchild. your daughter katherine had a baby since the last time i saw you. [ cheers and applause ] and not only you have a new grandchild, you have a new animal in your home. i think we have a new video here. you had the donkey. you got a dog. but now you got a pig too. where did you get the pig? >> my girlfriend gave it to me. >> jimmy: oh, she did? >> yeah, yeah. i always wanted to have a pig because george clooney, made

batman and robin with him in the '90s. he had the little pig with him, and it ran around all over the place on the set and everywhere, and in his motor home. so that inspired me kind of. i think it's really cute little pig. and so i got the little pig. the only thing, they said it was 20 some years ago. but my kids started going on this competition, you know, like who feeds this animal more food. and they thought this was really great. one was giving him one apple, then the other was coming with two apples. then the third kid came home and was giving bananas and apples and pears. and all of the sudden this pig ended up 300 pounds. it's supposed to be a miniature pig. so i had to send to it a fat farm. [ laughter ] and imagine how crazy that is, sending to it a fat farm, 300 pounds. >> jimmy: i heard it was 215. is that right? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> nice. >> jimmy: oh, man, the grandkids must -- were you a strict dad when your kids were little? were you strict?

>> well, it depends what your definition is. for i think the way i grew up, i was lenient. but i think for american standards, probably strict. >> jimmy: can you give me an example of what would be considered strict? >> i think the thing that my kids bring up most often is that my son, for instance, did not make his bed. he had his -- the nanny make the bed, which was not allowed. i said, the kids have to make their own bed, they have to scrub their own showers, they have to clean their own toilet, they have to wash their own clothes. [ applause ] so i came in one time and the bed was made so immaculately that i looked at it and said, "patrick, did you do that?" and he said, "no, i didn't." so i grabbed the mattress, opened up the doors, grabbed the mattress and threw it out the balcony and into the swimming pool. [ laughter ] so it gives you an example just

the kind -- so he had to kind of drag it up, the mattress, and the pillows. i threw everything out there. >> jimmy: he wet the bed is what happened. >> yeah. and like when my daughter would have this habit of, you know, just taking her tennis shoes off and putting them right there by the fireplace. and i said, "i'm not going to go be your servant here, so you know where the shoes go, they go into the mud room." i said, "don't put them here." "i said, "because i do it one time but i don't do it a second." anyway, the second time away, the third time, i said, "okay, look. i told you now three times. i told you i'm going to burn the shoes." so i took the shoes and put them in the fireplace and burned the shoes. those are the kind of things i do with the kids. >> jimmy: arnold schwarzenegger has many things to teach us. this is the book. it's called "be useful: seven tools for life." thank you for being here. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: arnold schwarzenegger, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with jason isbell and the 400 unit! [ "am:pm" by notd begins ]

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>> jimmy: all right, it's music time. this is his album. it's called "weathervanes."

here with the song "when we were close," jason isbell and the 400 unit. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i got a picture of us back when we were close before we had somebody ♪ ♪ picking out our clothes but you always dressed in your sunday best ♪ ♪ even when we didn't have nowhere to go i got a picture of us ♪ ♪ playing in a bar and your shirt cost more than your guitar ♪ ♪ but you played so heavy and you always let me sing a couple even though ♪

♪ you were the star i was the worse of the two of us ♪ ♪ but rex's blues wasn't through with us you were bound for glory ♪ ♪ and grown to die oh but why wasn't i why wasn't i ♪ ♪ why wasn't i ♪ ♪ saw a picture of you laughing with your child and i hope she will ♪ ♪ remember how you smiled but she probably wasn't old enough the night ♪ ♪ somebody sold you stuff that left you on the bathroom tiles ♪ ♪ got a picture of you dying in my mind with some ghosts you ♪ ♪ couldn't bear to leave behind

but i can hear your ♪ ♪ voice ring as you snap another b-string and you finish off the ♪ ♪ set with only five and for a minute there you're still alive ♪ ♪ i was the worse of the two of us but rex's blues wasn't ♪ ♪ through with us you were bound for glory and grown to die ♪ ♪ oh but why wasn't i why wasn't i ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ it's not up to me to forgive you for the nights that your ♪ ♪ love had to live through now you'll never need to look me in the eye ♪ ♪ i am the last of the two of us but the fort worth blues ♪ ♪ isn't through with us you've traveled beyond the great divide ♪ ♪ oh but why haven't i why haven't i ♪ ♪

[ cheers and applause ]

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: there you go. we're back. i want to thank arnold schwarzenegger.

thanks to jason isbell and the 400 unit. i do want to apologize to matt damon. he's been in the back for the whole summer. [ laughter ] we're going to try real hard to get him on some time soon. "nightline" is next. thank you for watching. we'll be back with a new show tomorrow night. you know we have to do this again tomorrow, right? >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: there's not five months in between shows. >> guillermo: no more. >> jimmy: good night.nt in my l right now where i've been really chasing my own happiness. >> three americans fly halfway around the world to the so-called happiest country on earth,