jimmy kimmel, sean penn have a great night.

i. gilliam i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us. the world is a mess. >> the country is a mess. some of you are a mess i see here. well you know what? we're trying to clean it up. we still don't have a speaker of the house, which means nothing can get done in this country. even less nothing than the usual nothing that gets done in this country. republicans took a break from fake impeaching joe biden to nominate steve scalise of louisiana to be their next speaker. scalise beat out jim jordan in a closed door session, and now we'll spend a night in

the fantasy suite with matt gaetz to see how it how they hit it off. the house majority chose scalise by a vote of 113 to 99. it's still unclear, though, if he has enough votes to win the speakership because that would require republicans to accept the results of an election that's really not their thing. you know, it's especially steve scalise who still is denying that biden won the election. he's an interesting person that steve scalise. he was one of the biggest gun supporters in congress. but then in 2017, remember, he was shot and seriously wounded at a congressional baseball game by a man carrying a legally purchased assault rifle. and when he recovered and he came back to congress, he knew that nothing like what happened to him should ever happen again. so as his first act, he introduced house resolution 2481 that required all baseball players to carry ak 47 seconds in their protective cups. and it's an inspiring story. they'll make a movie about it one day. so next,

probably tomorrow. scalise's nomination goes to the house floor. so if you see a white smoke coming from the capitol rotunda, it means they've either picked a new speaker or lauren boebert is vaping again. speaking of smoke, the first us state to allow sales of medical marijuana at regular pharmacies will be georgia of all places. sorry, colorado, you're asleep at the wheel. it's georgia starting soon. drugstore shoppers in georgia will be able to buy their fiber gummies and their weed gummies at the very same place. and if you thought the line at the pharmacy window was slow before, wait till it's going to be very interesting to see something that has been illegal for most of our lives, been taboo, suddenly available like walgreens. but even though it isn't on the shelves quite yet, one local shop in georgia is ready to go at top health pharmacy. >> we've cared for your family for more than 55 years from head

colds to skinned knees. we've been there and now for the first time, we carry all the weed you can eat. so stop by and try our new selection of cannabis products, then wander mindlessly through our aisles, maybe pick up a 5 pound bag of reese's peanut butter cups and eat them all in your car. oh, look at those cotton balls. and what's that thing? is that a decoration or. whoa why is that cashier staring at me? you think he's a cop? i got to get out of here, man. it is way too broad. i need some air, like, right now. top health pharmacy. it's scary in here. well here's some more good news for those who partake. >> we've got one less password to scribble down and forget where we put it. google yesterday announced that effective immediately entering a password will no longer be their default way to sign in. passwords will be replaced with

pass keys. it's easy for people to lose a password, so google decided to replace them with something we never lose. keys google is also amping up security on the i'm not a robot checkbox from now on this thing, it'll be a three part system starting with the usual i'm not a robot. you check that and you get i'm really not a robot. and if you click that, you're on too. i swear i'm not a robot. please just let me watch some before my wife gets back from her book club. >> here's a fun game. this is a game that's for our studio audience. >> but you can play it at home, too. i'll put up a headline. you try to figure out in what state it took place. okay. the story here we go. sausage flinging, racist, arrested for attack on gas station attendant. can you guess the state. >> it's almost as if we rehearsed that. but that's right. >> it's no state does racist sausage flinging like florida.

they call out a broward county brunch in fact but what makes it that especially remarkable is that the following story did not take place in florida. rather, it happened in michigan. the individual was found to be naked in his car, pleasuring himself in the parking lot. >> not one, not two, but three different men doing the same creepy thing in one week, all in dearborn heights, one caught on camera for what the is he doing? harold pegler and his pup buttkiss walking in hines park, where one of the three men was caught in his car door open naked, masturbating on monday. >> sounds like one of those tick tock challenges, harold with a stroke of genius investigator, are actually looking into his theory that some kind of online forum is encouraging guys to pleasure themselves. >> specifically in dearborn heights. one of the three has been arrested a block from annapolis high school last week, caught with meth and a cucumber

. and a tiktok challenge. >> how do we go in less than ten years from the ice bucket challenge to the with math in front of the playground challenge? >> it's and i'll tell you something, it's such a crazy story. you almost forget the guy has a pup named butkus. you know, sometimes i learn things from doing the show. and today i learned that apparently i've been washing my jeans the wrong way. according to the ceo of levi's, we should not be putting our jeans in the washing machine. we should instead wear them into the shower. and for real. he said this. you you're supposed to wash your jeans in the shower. i barely even wash my legs in the shower without the idea. is that cleaning your jeans while you shower is good for the environment because he uses less water than throw them in in the laundry. i don't think he's thought this through. have you ever tried to take a pair of wet jeans off david blaine couldn't get out of a pair of wet 501 demo. have you ever

heard of anything like this? >> no, nothing like that. you have not just checking to see if you're awake. >> everyone. speaking of bad jeans, sarah huckabee sanders is trying to huckabee her way out of her first big scandal as governor of arkansas. and as far as scandals go, this one is a doozy. >> governor sarah huckabee sanders is facing a potential legislative audit over the purchase of this podium. according to online records, with transparency arkansas.gov. the amount owed to beckett events llc was $19,029.25. i think the process just wasn't as clean as it should have been. >> again, it's been reimbursed by private funds and nothing was paid for by taxpayers and that was the error on the front end. >> sanders and her staff have been accused of spending more than $19,000 on this is a class d felony in arkansas law to fudge public records. but if you

remember seeing her playing fast loose with the facts and she was press secretary for trump, you know that fudging is sarah's passion. she is some call her the honorable fudge, judy. in fact, let's have another look at that lectern. it's it is sexy. i have to give her that looks like $19,000 well spent. you could buy a town in arkansas for $19,000. you know, it could use a press secretary like sarah huckabee sanders. george santos, who is now facing 23 criminal charges. just to give that some perspective, the btk killer only had ten charges against him. santos has been indicted on charges of conspiracy, wire fraud, falsifying records. and the most photoshop ever used in a single headshot. >> he's he just told them, keep airbrushing until i don't have a nose. >> when news of this latest round of indictments broke yesterday, santos, who was in congress all of a sudden got his 10,000 steps in quick comment.

>> i was i did not have access to my phone. >> i is a fraud at the american public. what are you resigned of? what you guys talking about? no, i will not. >> excuse me. only jorge santos would say no access to his phone while he is on that very phone. but go on. >> you stole people's identities . did you steal people's identities? did you give an identity? are you going to vote him speaker? what do you have to say down constituents? >> i will not. i have no comment. i was in conference like everyone else without my phone. so i have nothing to talk about. i need to take a look at what did you commit with a pretty basic question. >> did you identity that is no. are you okay, sir? yes >> and now he's got an assault charge to this is snowball. now, one of the more interesting charges that santos is going to have to face is an allegation he charged his own donors credit cards without their permission. did you charge to your credit card donor his money? >> did you use their credit cards to reward yourself? >> that's the allegation.

>> no. i will look at it. >> and why? why should we be able to vote in the speaker's election? such a key election when you've been charged with all these crimes? >> he slams that door a lot, which is funny because i don't know if you noticed on his way in there, he's got a sign that says, yes, we're open. not any more. i guess it's good. he should get used to being in a confined mind space because the prison walls are closing in. his former campaign treasurer pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit fraud, and his fellow republican congresspeople in new york just introduced legislation to expel him for obvious reasons, santos has been dodging reporters, but we think we might have tracked him down. and he's if we could. yes, there he is, congressman santos, is that you ? >> is congressman santos, that's you. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. miyamoto. gloria stefan. okay, well, that's our gloria. >> what's with the costume you're wearing? >> that is the costume. it's not a costume. it happens to be national hispanic heritage month. so thank you for being an

insensitive white diablo. i'm so. >> i'm insensitive. you're the one dressed like speedy gonzalez for no reason. are you trying to flee the country? is that what's going on here? >> why would i try and flee the country when everything i've been accused of i'm innocent of all those crimes? i did not commit? >> where are you going then? >> i'm going down to brazil to work on my charity. >> what charity are you working for? >> dogs. >> do you say dogs? >> yeah. i've been working on dogs for many years. but you might not have heard about it because i'm not exactly out there tooting my own horn about it. like, a lot of people i know, your charity is dogs, so i'll make a donation. >> i love dogs. oh, yeah. >> this seems just about right. okay here we go. >> all right, well, now, hold on. now, it seems like you're doing a drug deal, but that is absolutely outrageous. >> these are neck pillows for my friend dale's upcoming vacation . >> who is dale? >> i'm dale. >> oh, hi, dale. oh. oh oh, jesus. george. george, before you run off, why were you charged with identity theft?

what was going on there? there was no identity theft at all. >> okay? my husband mathias and i were going undercover as all american teenagers at sagan high to infiltrate an illicit drug ring. >> wait, wait, hold on. sagan. isn't that the plot of 21 jump street? wait, i don't even know what you're talking about, jimmy. >> i've never heard about that before. >> adios, amigo. >> it looks like i won this round, jimmy. okay. >> yeah, well, he's george bush. yeah george anyway, you said yesterday you're not planning on resigning despite all these new charges. why wouldn't you just resign at this point? >> because the people of new york or new jersey or wherever i'm from, they deserve to have a voice. a voice that stands up for the constitution and the rule of law. >> yeah, but >> i have to get back to some important work with my constituents. okay. okay.

>> but you're going to wait to brazil to work on dogs? no that's crazy. >> i'm in washington, dc, doing the people's work right now. >> well, it seems like actually, it seems like you're right here . well, no, jimmy, i'm not. >> you know, i get literally, i can see myself behind you. >> yeah. look, it's george santos. everybody all right? no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. >> shut up! >> everybody shut up! shut up, shut up, everyone. >> if the feds come in here, nobody saw me. okay this is not the congressman you are looking for. was that a jedi mind trick you just tried? >> there? >> yes, it was. did it work? >> no, it did not work. no, it did not. >> i guess i'm going to have to run then. >> okay. well, george, you can't keep running. you can't run forever. george we're going to catch up to you eventually. >> and you see, jimmy, that's where you're wrong. >> because i'm always two steps ahead of you. you might have think that you had me cornered,

but this was my plan all along. you see my secret kimmel that you don't know is that i thrive in chaos. >> okay? why are you getting into a crate? >> no, no, that's not a crate. this is a sensory deprivation chamber. it's very peaceful for me. okay vamanos. muchachos, until. >> all right, well, i guess that's. and he's on his way to brazil, and i guess charity work now. all right. our future former congressman george santos. >> oh, my gosh. well, that's. that's unfortunate. i hope he's okay. >> we got a good show for you tonight. nicole byer is here tonight. >> we have music from megan maroney. and we'll be right back with sean penn. kimmel live brought to you by allstate. >> some people just know what road to take. those are the people who know to choose

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>> welcome back. she is a very she's a very funny actress and comedian whom you can see live at the new york comedy festival november 10th. nicole byer is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, she is up for two cma awards this year, she has a platinum single, and her album is called "lucky," music from megan moroney. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, our guests are josh duhamel, the golden

bachelor gerry turner, and music from maneskin. so please jane us for that. our first guest is an oscar winning-actor, director, and real life action hero with a new documentary about another hero real-life action hero called "zelenskyy: it's a superpower." >> he hate me. he hate us. we don't know why. your family. it's the same superpower is on paramount. >> plus. now, please say hello to sean penn.

see you, sean. first of all, the documentary is great. it's really incredible. you invited me to a screening and it was just gripping where were you in that clip that we just saw? you're in the bunker, right? >> yeah, that was the -- we had met with the president the day before. it was the first time that i'd met him face-to-face. we'd met on zoom before. we met as we had decided, without cameras, the very first time. because if he was going to participate in the documentary, i wanted him to be -- you know, unguarded in a way that might not be with the typical news team or something like that. and so we had a very good meeting. and the next -- and he committed to start shooting the documentary the next day. we went back to the hotel. and by the time my eyes closed, the rockets started coming into kyiv. and then, you know, that and the

sirens sort of escorted us into the morning. and then we got a surprising call from the president's office that he was going to continue and go ahead and have the first session of shooting. >> jimmy: it is an incredible series of events that play out. you do not go over there knowing that russia was about to attack ukraine. you went to, correct me if i have any of this wrong, to make a documentary about zelenskyy? >> well, and it was before any news of a russian buildup -- we know ukraine had been at war, defensively at war, in the east, since 2014. but by and large, a growing democracy in peace in most of the country. we were going to do a lighthearted look at a comic actor -- >> jimmy: a comedian, he started out as a comedian, became president of this country. did you -- now, did your crew -- so you bring a crew that thinks

they're shooting a lighthearted documentary. and suddenly they are a news crew in wartime. and you guys get a warning from the state department, the united states state department, saying get out of there, it's not safe, go home right now? >> yeah, well -- my partners and i, of course, were going to follow whatever story we got. but the other people were ukrainian production crew. and ukrainians don't want to leave ukraine, they want to do anything they can to hold on to and fight for freedom. and those who work in film production are no different. they had a belief that what we were there to document might be helpful. >> jimmy: right. and that's -- zelenskyy does seem very cognizant of that, that it's important for him, even though a war just started the day before, to stop and talk to you and explain the situation.

because of course, we are very insulated. we don't know what's going on in other places. this came as you said, as a surprise, an unpleasant surprise. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this invasion. and you talked to him about -- this guy had an apartment in russia. it's like, the idea that he's now at war with this country is insane. >> yeah. it is so horrible, what's happened. it's such a -- you know, thought that this -- when he came in that day, let's say, in that piece that you showed, was as though he was born for this moment. there's something so incredibly genuine about him. what my goal, once we understood what was happening and that we were no longer making a lighthearted tale of this

president, was to give a context that i wouldn't have had just watching the news. and i feel like so many times when i've gone into interesting places -- >> jimmy: dangerous places, yeah. >> that there -- you know, the criticism comes anyway, but it's not a surprise to most people that i'm an opinionated person. but i work very hard in the editing of this film to, you know, not hide that. it's there. but anyone who doesn't agree with me or is prone not to, the point of the film is that you can kind of say, you know, okay, i'm not that interested in what he's saying now about this, but you'll see your own familiar place in this story and in this place. and that's what -- and the parallel and the way that i think it can be a kind of salvation for what's going on in our countryress it's invaluable. >> jimmy: you see old people, young people, you see -- there

was a scene which was really interesting. you took a group of fighter pilots to see "top gun: maverick." they loved the movie. even with all of this madness going on, all this conflict, you're able to go to the movies with this guy. and then tragically, one of the pilots that you were with, you became friendly with, was killed in action. >> y■eah. >> jimmy: and that is really personalizing it. and this guy, zelenskyy, is also just an incredible person, isn't he? >> he is. i do want to circle back t andre jus was his call sign. i've been asked by people in my circle, and out of my circle, i suppose. i do step out of the house sometimes. [ light laughter ] you know. what's he like? and of any head of state, of any

politician, of any head of a large company, there's a time you start to feel the script and the spin. and that's not necessarily a bad thing. they're getting through the day, they have an agenda, they don't know that you're understanding when they said it the first time, hammer it so that you're for it. there's never a moment with him that's not genuine. deeply genuine. it's something that's happening -- i think that -- and he's a -- ukrainians at this point in time in history, it's sort of like -- it's sort of like what i imagine the beatles were coming out of liverpool, you know -- that special thing happens once is at a certain time. and right now, ukraine is that place. >> jimmy: has he seen the documentary? >> yeah. he saw it. he saw a rough cut of it. >> jimmy: what did he think? >> well -- i'm sort of very grateful that he's a filmmaker, because -- if anyone sees the

film, which you can see on paramount plus now, it's called "superpower." [ laughter ] he doesn't come off great in the first half-hour of the movie. >> jimmy: yeah, he's unpopular. he's doing a lot of silly comedy stuff. yeah. >> that changes, of course. >> jimmy: yes, it does. so he stuck with it is what you're saying? >> well, when i walked into the office, he had watched it at 6:30 that morning. he's busy during the day, i suppose. got it over with in the morning. and i was brought back to his office. and he was sitting with his future staff, andre who's also in the film. he stood up, he looked at me.

"i'll bet you're glad that i watched the whole thing." >> jimmy: you were, i'm sure. >> he recovers well in the film. >> jimmy: yeah, he does. he does recover well. sean penn is with us. his movie is called "superpower." his movie is called "superpower." we'll be right back. inez, let me ask you, you're using head and shoulders, right? i see flakes. then i switch back to my regular shampoo you should use it every wash, otherwise the flakes will come back. he's right, you know. is that tiny troy? the ingredients in head and shoulders keep the microbes that cause flakes at bay. microbes, really? they're always on your scalp...little rascals... but good news, there's no itchiness, dryness or flakes down here! i love tiny troy. he's the best. make every wash count! little help, please. you know those mornings when it takes just a mak little bit extrat! to get you out of bed? this might be it. wake up to the goodness of jimmy dean.

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all right, i got it. >> we are back with sean penn, nicole byer penn, nicole byer is on the way. you know, when we screened the movie, your daughter was there.

she was so proud of you. i thought it was very touching. i wonder, when you are in a situation -- you've been in many situations. i know you went to haiti. how many times were you in haiti after the earthquake? >> i lived there for nine straight months the first stretch. but i've been going back and forth to haiti for the last 13 years. >> jimmy: you were in new orleans just after and during hurricane katrina. do you with your kids -- do you have a schedule? like, i'm going to check in every day at 2:00 p.m.? worry if i don't? how do you do that? >> no, my kids -- now they know. now i can say it freely. but basically what i would do with them is tell them, i'm going to be just fine, then i would call my assistant and say, everything's just fine. you know. just lie. [ laughter ] say everything's good. because i had an experience. i had gone to iraq, 2002, before the war started.

then i went back, kids were unhappy about the idea that i was going. and at one point, i remember kind of -- you could get used to when the lulls -- there was a lot of explosion of ordnance. most of that was at the airport. the u.s. was taking unexploded order nance. but you never knew exactly. a lot of gun fire was vertical. different neighborhoods saying, we've got fight here. you never really know when there was an engagement just from the sound. but you know it. you do know. i came to know you really do know it. so one time, because the daytime it was a lot of lulls. i do the got a sat phone. i thought, this is the moment, kids are home from school, i can call real quick. usually very quiet time of day. i went to a wall. i was -- just as both kids got on the phone, there was a --

just rap rap rap rap rap rap rap! and my son said, "what is that, dad?" so i never called them from any place again. >> jimmy: what did you tell them? did you lie? how do you handle that? >> i think i did lie. i don't think it was successful. i might have said, "oh, it's nothing." >> jimmy: what if they started -- they're adults -- they started going to like ukraine and iraq, et cetera? would you approve of that? >> well, we've got -- hundreds of thousands of young men and women who are doing that to protect our country. all the time. [ applause ] you know, my children -- i prefer they're not in dangerous places. like, i remember being in ukraine and seeing what happened on television with chris rock at the academy awards and will smith.

and i didn't like them being in that dangerous place. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: you think this kid had any idea, one day he'd be shooting a documentary in the middle of a war? [ laughter ] that's you, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, did you ever have any idea that you'd be doing anything like this? i know you wanted to be an actor. >> you know what, i'm just -- because we started -- i don't want to forget. the film is dedicated to that fighter pilot that you saw. >> jimmy: juice, yes. >> yeah. and we -- when we went, just because, you know, it's also nice to celebrate the humor of somebody when they sacrifice like he has. so when tom cruise ejects over the desert during the training, ends up in the desert, he's filthy, he makes his way across, finds this oasis, this diner. and he opens the door. come in the diner, everybody in

the place looks at him. juice leaned over to me in the movie and said, "that's why i always take my wallet." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you ever call tom cruise, "hey, i saw you jump off that building, i'm in a war"? >> i think he takes a lot more risks than i do, frankly. the statistics, the time i spend in different places, i'm pretty clever about the risk/benefit, i think. >> jimmy: yeah. >> no, he goes all-out. >> jimmy: i'm glad you went over there and documented this story, because it is interesting. and with all the terrible things happening with what's going on in israel, which is certainly deserving of all of our attention, we cannot forget what is also going on in ukraine. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. >> great to see you. >> jimmy: the documentary is called "superpower." it's on paramount plus. sean penn, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with nicole byer! ♪everything i do that's for my health is an accomplishment.♪

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two tv shows, and a live show at the new york comedy festival on november 10th. please welcome nicole byer. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ is on the way. >> our next guest is a seven time emmy nominee with four podcasts, two tv shows and a live show at the new york comedy festival on november 10th. please welcome nicole byer. how are you? >> oh, i'm fabulous. how are you? >> i'm great. i like that dress. that's serious. dress. >> i know, right? >> jimmy: that's serious. it says -- do you know what it says? i think that's either japanese or -- >> i don't read. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: could be anything on there, huh? you know, last -- how are you? the last time you were here, you spoke about an ill-fated vacation to the bahamas. >> yes. and then everyone in the bahamas said, "we hate her!" >> jimmy: they got real mad at you. >> they were going through my instagram, posting me and things. i made a post that was like, if you're from the bahamas and

you're mad at me, comment here. i'll delete anything nice. and that's what i did. they really came through. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeahy did you delete the nice suff? >> because it was for the people of the bahamas who hate me. i didn't want positivity, i wanted insults. >> jimmy: you didn't have a problem with the bahamas. >> no. >> jimmy: as much as you had a problem with the hotel, right? >> just the hotel and a couple of admit-haps, like running out of a gas on a jet ski, which is not the bahamas' fault. >> jimmy: no, you can't blame that on the bahamas. have you given up vacationing altogether? >> no. i said, i'm going everywhere. bar paid dough, amsterdam, greece, mexico, sonoma. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this was all just this summer? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: really? places you want to enrage? [ laughter ] take some shots at sonoma. >> people that hate me. >> jimmy: that's a tough crowd, the sonomaens.

>> they're just drunk. that's why i loved it. >> who do you go with on these vacations? >> barbados, i went with my family. it was so fun. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how many people in the family? >> my sister, aunt, uncle, and grandpa, who's insane. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is he really? >> he's wild. he just turned 95 yesterday. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> yeah. and he is leaning into it. we left the house at 2:30 for a 5:00 a.m. flight and he's a half-hour from the airport. i told him, "you cannot bring anything, it's too early, don't do the math, it's too early." >> jimmy: where were you flying to? >> chicago to barbados. >> jimmy: okay. i'm with grandma. >> are you? >> jimmy: i'm almost a grandpa myself. yeah. no, because it's an international flight. >> yeah, but we were connecting in miami, so that's domestic. >> jimmy: the man is 94 years old at this time. he's supposed to go running through like o.j. through the airport? >> no. [ laughter ] i'll run, he's in a wheelchair. >> jimmy: i see.

>> he'll slide around. i told him, "don't bring anything past 3.5 ounces." he brought two full-sized bottles of cologne. i was like, who are you trying to [ bleep ] in barbados? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: two bottles of cologne? >> two. two. why? then he made me read the thing in the seat back pocket. i was like, this plane goes down, we're dying. what am i doing? >> jimmy: did they make him get rid of the cologne? >> yes, and he was very upset about it. >> jimmy: i would imagine so. >> i didn't hear the end of it. i was like, it's $9.99 at target, i'll get you some. and then he didn't call anybody in barbados. he just showed up, knocked on doors, "it's me, bei bei!" >> jimmy: these are relatives? >> relatives he hasn't seen in a while. didn't call them. was like, "hey, last time you're gonna see me, i'm gonna die." then handed them $50. and i was like, is this a

barbadian tradition? to give money, "i'm donna die!" >> jimmy: really? how many doors did he knock on? >> i think we went to five. >> jimmy: wow, $50 apiece. was he fun on vacation? >> fun is relative. we were at the beach and he just took off his bathing suit. the reason was, "it was wet." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: he just mooned on the beach? >> he was nude on the beach and people on the beach, "there's a bathroom right there." he's like, "it's done." he's wild. >> jimmy: how long did he remain nude on the beach? >> not that long. >> jimmy: was it a nude beach? >> no, no, it's a very modest country, barbados. it was not a nude beach. everyone was really like, what is happening? i'm like, this is my grandpa. >> jimmy: you also, i know this because you posted it, went to go see beyonce. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: was this here in l.a.? you wore a silver outfit. everybody had to wear a silver

outfit? >> she told us. >> jimmy: do you know beyonce at all? >> no, but i have met her at the vmas. this is when "lemonade" came rourt she came with her own wi-fi. what are you, at&t? what do you mean? it was wild. >> jimmy: smart, yeah. >> whatever. she's like walking past me. we were told when she walks past you, you have to stand against the wall with your hands against the wall. which sounds like overkill. but i've met famous people and i've always tried to hug them before i'm like, what am i doing? you fell like you know beyonce. they told us not to talk to her. she was so beautiful, i needed to tell her. "you're such a treat." she touched my shoulder, "thank you." and i was like, oh, oh, beyonce thanked me! >> jimmy: you're such a treat. what a thing. >> she really is if you think about it. >> jimmy: you kept your hands on the wall the whole time? >> oh, yes, absolutely. yeah. >> jimmy: you're playing the apollo theater as part of the new york comedy festival, which is a big deal. this is a historic theater.

>> big deal. >> jimmy: have you played there before? >> no, never. growing up, i would watch showtime at the apollo. >> jimmy: yeah, sandman. >> watch people get booed. you i don't worry about getting bad, people want to come, i think. >> jimmy: they're paying to see you. if you're paying to boo you, they've wasted a good deal of money. >> i think so. i'm excited. i lived in harlem for so long. i walked past the apollo. >> jimmy: it's moments like that that really mean something. >> truly. >> jimmy: it's funny how some of the big things don't mean that much, then the things like the apollo theater -- >> you're absolutely right. >> jimmy: you're on "wipeout" which is on tbs with john cena. >> yes. >> jimmy: that is coming back. >> for season two. >> jimmy: season two right there in the beginning of november. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: and you've got 12 podcasts now, which is too many podcasts. >> i know, i love to talk. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and you're nominated for an emmy right now. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: everything's good. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you know what? i got to tell you something -- i'd be like, next time you walk

through the hall, beyonce should put her hand on this the wall for you. [ cheers and applause ] >> you know, that was a kind sentiment. >> jimmy: and one more apology to the bahamas? >> you know -- no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, okay. see nicole byer at the new york comedy festival, november 10th, at the apollo theater. thank you, nicole. we'll be back with megan maroney! >> oh, it's says things. >> you know what it says? because i think that's either japanese or read. yeah, okay. could be anything on there. you know? alas. how are you? because the last time you were here, you spoke about an ill fated vacation to the bahamas. >> yes. and then everyone in the bahamas said we hate her. >> yeah, they got mad. they got real mad at you. yea

>> i got it. thanks to sean penn and nicole byer. >> apologies to matt damon. nightline is next. refers to her album is called lucky here at the song tennessee orange. megan maroney. ♪ mama i'm callin' i've got some news don't you tell daddy he'll blow a fuse ♪ ♪ don't worry i'm doin' okay ♪ ♪ i know you raised me to know right from wrong it ain't what you think

and i'm still writin' songs ♪ ♪ just never thought i'd see the day i've never felt this way ♪ ♪ i met somebody and he's got blue eyes he opens the door and he don't make me cry ♪ ♪ he ain't from where we're from but he feels like home yeah ♪ ♪ he's got me doin' things i've never done in georgia they'd call it a sin ♪ ♪ i'm wearin' tennessee orange for him ♪ ♪ ♪ took me to knoxville last saturday and i wore the hat on his dash to the game ♪ ♪ it sure wasn't athens but i fell for him under those neyland lights ♪

♪ i met somebody and he's got blue eyes he opens the door and he don't make me cry ♪ ♪ he ain't from where we're from but he feels like home yeah ♪ ♪ he's got me doin' things i've never done ♪ ♪ in georgia they'd call it a sin i'm wearin' tennessee orange for him ♪ ♪ ♪ i like him a l mama, i'm calling i've got some news. >> don't you tell daddy he'll blow a fuze. don't worry. i'm doing okay. >> i know you raised me to know right from wrong and i ain't what you think. and i'm still writing songs. just never thought i'd see the day. i've never felt this way. i met somebody. he's got blue and he opens the door and he don't make me cry. he ain't from w that makes me forget

i've always looked better in red ♪ ♪ but i met somebody and he's got blue eyes he opens the door and he don't make me cry ♪ ♪ he ain't from where we're from but he feels like home yeah ♪ ♪ he's got me doin' things i've never done ♪ ♪ i met somebody and he's got blue eyes he opens the door and he don't make me cry ♪ ♪ he ain't from where we're from but he feels like home yeah ♪ ♪ he's got me doin' things i've never done ♪ ♪ in georgia they'd call it a sin and i still want the dawgs to win ♪ ♪ but i'm wearin' tennessee orange for him

♪ ♪ [ ch >> juju: tonight, racing home. >> i was lucky enough to get a ticket. >> juju: israelis around the world heading back toss motherland to fight. >> we're going to go in, we're going to ensure we only come out when every single one of the last hamas terrorists are gone. >> juju: hamas continues its relentless assaults as israel retaliates. conditions in gaza increasingly desperate. >> there's no fuel, there's no power. hops are on the