dangerous or a poison pill for business. and others just can't seem to find parking. that story is one of the top things people are clicking on right now on our website. it's up for you now at abc7. com. all right thank you so much for watching tonight. i'm ama daetz. >> and i'm dan ashley for sandhya patel, chris alvarez. all of us we appreciate your time right now on jimmy kimmel. snoop dogg. >> have a great night. previously on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> oh, yeah. oh, yeah. >> oh! oh! oh [ bleep ]. oh my god!

look at how he's standing. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- snoop dogg, ms. pat, and music from october london. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. hola. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for coming. i'm glad you're here. i'm glad we're able to do a show tonight. i have to tell you, i don't know if you heard about this. last night we had an eventful night. i went home and got a call saying the fire department was at the show.

turns out we had smoke pouring out of the vents outside our edit rooms, then coming out of the building. they had to clear the whole place. fortunately, everything and everyone was okay. the firefighters even left us a photo. posing together at my desk. [ laughter ] they fixed it all. thank you, guys. by the way, i want to say, the fire department, if you see any smoke coming from the building tonight, that's just because snoop is here, we're fine. [ cheers and applause ] did you go back and visit snoop, guillermo? >> guillermo: of course, jimmy, yeah. that's my favorite day, yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, i can barely see your eye balls. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: a dream come true. >> jimmy: are you feeling all right? >> guillermo: i'm feeling great, jimmy. >> jimmy: can i get you some snacks? >> guillermo: no, no, it's good. >> jimmy: i'll be keeping an eye on you. you know, there's still no one home in the house of representatives.

congress has now gone 16 days without a speaker. without a speaker, nothing gets done. even less than the usual nothing can get done. jim jordan, in the first vote, was short 20 republican votes. in the second group, he was short 22 republican votes, and now i guess he's going for 24. >> so i'll just say this. we made -- we made the pitch to members on the resolution as a way to lower the temperature. and get back to work. we decided that wasn't where we're going to go. i'm still running for speaker, and i plan to go to the floor and get the votes and win this race. but i want to go talk with a few of my colleagues. particularly, i want to talk with the 20 individuals who voted against me so that we can move forward ask begin to work for the american people. >> jimmy: yeah. he talked to the 20. and they don't care. they're not voting for him. [ laughter ] this would be a very embarrassing situation if these far-right republicans were capable of being embarrassed. but they are currently at odds over whether to keep trying with jim jordan or to give temporary

power to the interim speaker patrick mchenry. that is a plan that did not appeal to the guy who got them into this mess in the first place, the human bobblehead known as matt gaets. >> i think that i'm against speaker lite, i'm against bud light. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's. i'm against traffic lights. i'm against the guiding light. i'm against judith light. didn't care for her on "who's the boss?" [ laughter ] let me tell you something, unless the constitution was printed on the back of a can of monster energy drink, matt gaetz has not read it. [ laughter ] matt's fellow congressdemon, marjorie taylor green, also is pushing back against the idea of an interim speaker. >> i do not support this plan. republican voters work too hard to give us the majority for us to enter some sort of temporary speakership. our conference has a responsibility to the american people, to our districts, to work together and unify. and this conference is

absolutely broken. and the reason why we're broken is because republicans worked with democrats and put us here. >> jimmy: right. that's who did this, the democrats did it. [ laughter ] you know, for a group of people who tell you the democrats don't know what they're doing, they sure do give democrats a lot of credit for what they're doing. [ laughter ] republicans are reaching across the aisle to grab each other by the throat right now. they had a tense three-hour meeting and agreed on nothing. at one point, kevin mccarthy yelled at matt gaetz and another rep lunged at matt gaetz. there are threats being made against those who did not vote for jordan. nick lalota of new york, a republican, got a message saying, "go eff yourself and die." don bacon of nebraska reported that his wife got an anonymous text saying, "your husband will not hold any political office ever again." george santos says a helicopter full of ninjas landed on his front lawn. [ laughter ] fortunately he was able to fight them all off and he won. even fox news is trying to bully the holdouts into voting for jordan. this is a message a producer

from "hannity" sent to a congressperson who elected to remain anonymous. "hello, stephanie from the "hannity show" with fox news. sources tell hannity that rep is not supporting jim jordan for speaker. can you please let me know if this is accurate? and, if true, hannity would like to know why during a war breaking out between israel and hamas, with the war in ukraine, with the wide open borders, with a budget that's unfinished, why would this rep be against jim jordan for speaker?" it's the washington version of getting buttonholed by joey knuckles. [ laughter ] "wasn't much in the envelope this week, boss ain't gonna like it." this pressure campaign from camp jordan, it's not working. it didn't go over even with the soon-to-be-imprisoned congressman george santos, who wrote -- "i'm for jim jordan for speaker but, if the nasty hatred and attacks against some of my colleagues continue, i will be joining them in protest. america first always! however, attacking good patriots is not the way to get them on your side. we need to have dialogue to bring them on board team jordan!" you know it's bad when you're getting scolded by a man who was accused of stealing puppies from the amish.

[ laughter ] even president biden weighed in on jordan's uphill battle for the gavel. >> jimmy: look at that, mr. sarcastic on his way home from a war zone. [ cheers and applause ] he's even wearing his sassy zipup. [ laughter ] speaking of sassy, we got some more hot goss from mitt romney's upcoming book, "don't pee on my dockers and tell me it's raining." [ laughter ] first, romney claimed oprah wanted him to be her running mate in 2020. in a new excerpt, romney talks about trying to form a "unity" ticket with ted cruz in 2016. a "unity" ticket? the only thing americans agree on as a unit is that ted cruz sucks. [ laughter ] that's some unity. and look, i have a lot of respect for mitt romney. but trying to fight donald trump by teaming up with ted cruz? that's like trying to fight

chlamydia by teaming up with aids. [ laughter ] it's not really a -- what a combination. mitt romney and ted cruz. you've got one guy with the personality of a blowup doll and another who's definitely having sex with them all the time. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there's a lot of interestingly stuff in this book. romney says when they were dating, britney spears cheated on him with another senator. did you know? oh, wait, i may be confusing my books, i don't know. [ laughter ] donald trump had yet another legal setback today. one of his former lawyers turned co-conspirator, sidney powell. [ laughter ] this weird human lady pled guilty to six charges in georgia in the case related to trump's efforts to overturn the election results. among other things, powell hired people to barge into a voting location in coffee county where they broke into the voting machines. turns out, that's not a very lawyerly thing to do. as part of the deal, powell gets

six years of probation and appears to be cooperating with prosecutors in their case against the others, which includes trump. oh, man, the chicken mcnuggets are coming home to roost. [ laughter ] the rats are jumping off the "spraytanic." the big, beautiful walls are closing in. and somewhere up there, john mccain is smiling. you know, he likes people who don't get caught. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and this probably resulted in some ketchup on the walls. joe biden's campaign now has more followers on truth social than the trump campaign. for real. team biden has only been on truth social since monday and they're already up by about 5,000 followers. not a great sign for trump when he can't even win the popular vote on his own social media site. [ laughter ] fortunately, he doesn't really care about silly stuff like followers and crowd size. but how funny is it going to be when trump accuses his own website of being rigged against him? [ laughter ] it will be the best. president biden gave a big primetime speech from the white house tonight during which he

made a case for sending aid to israel and ukraine. biden spoke at 8:00 p.m. or as he calls it, he pulled an all-nighter. [ laughter ] biden ended his speech by saying, "and now back to those rowdy young kids on the golden bachelor." which was a nice shout-out for us. [ laughter ] i don't know if you've been watching this "bachelor in paradise." fortunately the president finished his speech, because we would have missed a major development. for the past couple of weeks, we have been following the saga of a woman named sam, who found herself in a bit of a predicament. >> jimmy: i'm so glad the writers' strike ended in time to bring us that, you know? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] only in america. only in america would a presidential address about a war in israel be followed by paradise poop watch.

[ laughter ] we're living in a very stupid time. >> i do have an update on sam, by the way. and -- i don't know how to say this, so i'll just say it. sam has not pooped yet. >> no! >> so -- she's doing okay. but -- there's been no movement with respect to that just yet. >> jimmy: oh, thanks for letting us know. [ laughter ] i don't know about you. i don't think i can wait until next week to find out what happened. so we tracked sam down and joining us now, the new face of american constipation. say hello to sam jeffries. [ cheers and applause ] hi, sam. >> hi, thanks for having me. >> jimmy: what happened? did they steal all your furniture from your apartment? [ laughter ] >> you would think. >> jimmy: yeah. how are you doing? >> i'm great. how are you? >> jimmy: i'm good. how's it going? [ laughter ] >> never been better, honestly. >> jimmy: good. everything's good? >> you know, i don't want to brag or anything.

but -- i pooped several times. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: sam, when you were a little girl, is this how you dreamed your life would turn out? [ laughter ] >> kind of. i always thought something would be crazy. but not this crazy. >> jimmy: how did this happen? do they not have activia in paradise? i mean, really. [ laughter ] >> they have everything in paradise. laxatives, miralax, anything i needed. except sleep. >> jimmy: none of it worked? are people now recognizing you for this? >> yeah. i'm known as the queen of ivs, or poop girl. >> jimmy: when you come out of the bathroom at a restaurant, are you getting high-fives? what's going on? [ laughter ] >> yep, high-fives, knuc >> jimmy: you've become like the kim kardashian of constipation, you know? [ laughter ] >> i really am. it's sad. >> jimmy: do you have a message

for other publicly constipated people? [ laughter ] my wife, for instance, says she has never pooped in her whole life. right? isn't that right? never. [ cheers and applause ] she's going on like 45 years. is there anything you can do to help her? >> sleep, that's all i got. >> jimmy: you've got to sleep. see, she says sleep. are you listening? sleep, yeah. don't sleep with me, though. because i don't want to -- [ laughter ] yeah. sam, i'm glad you're okay. i hope this doesn't happen again. >> thank you. >> jimmy: if it does, will you -- >> me either. >> jimmy: will you let us know? i don't know how you can let us know. maybe we'll send cameras to your home. >> yeah, do you mind? i'll make sure i call you guys. >> jimmy: thank you for sharing your struggle and your journey with us. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i want you to know from now on, i think i speak for all of us, whenever we get

stopped up, we will always think of you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> appreciate it. >> jimmy: all right. >> jimmy: one more thing before we forge ahead. it's time to bleep and blur the big moments of the week whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> jim jordan is strategic, scrappy, tough, and principled. he is a mentor, aabove all he is a [ bleep ]er. >> i have a lot of respect for him, i've [ bleep ]ed him for years. >> we can't sit around and suck our [ bleep ]s and hope the world will wait. >> then the headlines came out. mike lindell's going to [ bleep ] his own [ bleep ]. blah, blah, blah. you know? >> are you sure that you want to [ bleep ] again? >> yes. >> [ bleep ]ing off our [ bleep ] tonight, richard? >> alias michael sweeney. the sheriff's office said they

couldn't verify that identity. they finger [ bleep ]ed him twice, but that didn't reveal who he is either. >> my dad almost got into a fistfight in a restaurant over a man blowing his [ bleep ] at a taubl table in the restaurant. >> mick and i [ bleep ] each other. >> oh my god, whoo! >> in the middle of the night i'll get up, if i can't sleep, i'll go down to the stalls and [ bleep ] a horse. >> why do you [ bleep ] horses so much? >> because they're beautiful and powerful. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well. we've got a fun show tonight. ms. pat is here. we have music from october lemon. and we'll be right back with snoop doggy dog!

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back to the show. tonight, her new show is called "ms. pat settles it," the very funny ms. pat is with us. then later, making his television debut, he was signed to death row records by none other than snoop dogg himself. his latest is called "the rebirth of marvin," music from october london. [ cheers and applause ] next week we have new shows with, let's see.

tiffany haddish, olivia rodrigo, meg ryan, david duchovny, eric andre, jeff ross, joe walsh, howie long and terry bradshaw will be here, and we will have music from brothers osborne and tate mcrae. so please join us for all that. our first guest tonight brings joy and some smoke everywhere he goes. he has his own breakfast cereal, he's got his own ice cream, he's got a new cookbook. it's called "snoop dogg presents: goon with a spoon." it comes out november 14th. please welcome the next speaker of the u.s. house of representatives, snoop dogg! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: good to see you. how's it going? you got hold of guillermo before the show, didn't you?

>> hey, guillermo always makes his way to the bat cave. >> jimmy: he gravitates. [ laughter ] now we're unsafe. now we're unprotected. we have no security. we've got a super-baked security guard. >> and he always -- he always says no in the beginning. "no, no, no." "okay, okay." [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: well, snoop, i just want to first of all say i have a surprise for you. and i really wanted you to come here. and i thank you for coming here tonight because i have a surprise. but it's not time for the surprise yet. in fact, guillermo, you can go get ready for the surprise. >> guillermo: okay, got it, jimmy. >> jimmy: all right. we're going to do that in a minute. mike epps was here last night. >> oh, that's my guy. >> jimmy: yeah, he told us he was in iceland on vacation looking for weed. >> oh. >> jimmy: and so -- [ laughter ] he texted you. >> hm. >> jimmy: said, do you know anyone in iceland? [ laughter ] and wouldn't you know it, you did know someone in iceland. [ cheers and applause ]

>> well -- last time i checked, i was the plug to your plug. [ laughter ] i'm the connect. you know? it's good to have friends that have friends that, you know -- international and global. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> able to get you, you know, medicated and dedicated no matter where you at. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in a way that is your green card into every country, isn't it? >> yes. >> jimmy: i have a list of countries i know you've been to. tell me if you have a hookup in mexico. you have somebody in mexico? >> si, senor. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: ireland? >> i'm sure i do, mate. >> jimmy: what about north korea? you've been there. >> oh, no, ain't got no -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, not there. how many days were you in north korea? >> i was over there about maybe seven, eight days. sid a song with an artist named psi. >> jimmy: psi, yeah, yeah. >> remember me and him? >> jimmy: we went to karaoke

together. psi was in north korea? >> we went over and did a few things. >> jimmy: he's from south korea, though, right? >> ain't they the same? "no. [ laughter ] i went to korea with psi. we was on the south side. >> jimmy: it's harder to think clearly when you don't have access to what you need, right? >> right, i didn't have no access over there. because that man over there don't play no games. i was over there being a studious american citizen. >> jimmy: you did the right thing. we could have lost you forever. >> i know. >> jimmy: india? >> bollywood. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what about ease stone yeah? >> estonia? >> jimmy: it's got "stony" right in from. >> i'm sure i've got some people over there. >> jimmy: good to know, quite a business you've got. speaking of businesses, you have a lot of products you're involved with. you're a entrepreneur. you find things you're interested in, you create things that you think you might like. and some of them seem to have a real connection to smoking. for instance -- your breakfast

cereals. snoop cereal. this one's cinnamon toasties. this one's fruity hoops with marshmallows. this one, i got to tell you, i think this one is absolutely brilliant. because you basically combined 42 loops with lucky charms. [ laughter ] which is genius, you know? >> we from the hood, jimmy, we going to do what we got to do to get by. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we got the cereals. you've got ice cream. you got dr. bombay birthday party, which is kind of perfect for tonight. >> that's kind of good. i want some of that, jimmy. >> jimmy: you can have -- you're more than welcome to have some. i think i have spoons here also. there's the birthday party -- two birthday parties, yeah. well, it is almost your birthday, isn't it? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: tomorrow's the big day. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know if you thought about this.

>> going to have some of those? look out. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: have you ever -- giving a little -- now, this is a birthday party, right? >> mm! mm! this screaming like bob demon. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what time do you actually eat breakfast? >> 8:00. at night. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: by the way, i could easily polish this whole thing this whole box off. >> it's good, right? if they was nasty, you couldn't keep eating them like that. >> jimmy: this is my weakness, this is my kryptonite. i like this, too. because this is either for -- this maze is for kids or to measure how stoned you are. [ laughter ] >> it's a maze that has no other route other than directly to where you're supposed to go. it's not a maze. it's just a line. [ laughter ]

if you've got a dumb kid, this is the perfect -- [ laughter ] all right. well, listen. you've got your cookbook here. who is this -- i remember this guy. >> e-40. >> jimmy: yeah, e-40. he was all over the golden state warriors games. >> yeah, a rapper, businessman, rapper, entrepreneur. what we did was combined for a cookbook. this is my land. i had a book that came out a couple of years ago called "from crook to cook." >> jimmy: i have that book. >> which is a bestseller, you understand me? he should do one because he's a great cook, easily in the industry. he created his book, which is "the goon with the spoon." >> jimmy: fried chicken and french toast sandwiches. mochi muffins with pineapple and coconut. have you had all these things? >> e-40 is a hell of a chef. >> jimmy: air fryer pizza alfredo. >> oh, boy. oh, boy. >> jimmy: fried pickles.

fried everything. fried -- everything's fried. even the long island ice teas are fried, everybody. >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: all right. well, listen. enough of this. i have a surprise for you. we're going to take a break. >> a break? >> jimmy: yep, we're going to take a quick break. >> my kind of break? >> jimmy: yeah, whatever kind of break you like. [ cheers and applause ] when we come back, snoop dogg. we'll be right back. ♪ so i write him all these letters ♪ ♪ and i throw them in the trash ♪ ♪ cuz i miss the way he kisses ♪ ♪ and the way he made me laugh ♪ ♪ yeah i pour my little heart out ♪ ♪ but as i'm hitting send ♪ ♪ i picture all the faces of my disappointed friends ♪ ♪ i wanna get him back ♪ ♪ i wanna make him really jealous ♪ ♪ wanna make him feel bad, oh ♪ ♪ i want sweet revenge ♪ ♪ i want to get him back, back, back ♪ cut! so this is the, uh, place! is that... crown molding? did you do that? hold on, are you on the raisin bran crunch?

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you got two jacks. and then my grand slam. i signed a ball for you. okay. and it says papa i love you. why did you do that? because you've taught me everything about baseball. oh hunny bunny, that's so sweet. (♪) (♪)

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we are back with snoop dogg. snoop is -- hey, snoop next

month is the 30th anniversary of your album "doggy style." [ cheers and applause ] which is quite crazy. i think that's when we met, actually, right about then. >> yeah. 30 years ago, man. >> jimmy: do you remember the first time you went into a record store and saw your album? >> yeah, it was crazy, man. because it was lines of people buying the record. it blew my mind that they actually wanted to buy the record. i remember i was like 19. so it was like new for me. it was fresh for me. and it was fun to watch to see how people gravitated to me and my music, and i was like not used to it, not used to people wanting an autograph and a picture. being very shy, you know. unsure about myself. >> jimmy: what record store was it? >> vip. >> jimmy: vip down in long beach? >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: that was your local record store that you'd go to? >> yes. >> jimmy: what did you buy there? do you remember buying records there? >> the first record i bought there was "ring my bell." [ cheers ] >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's a good song. that's a real good song.

the single or the album? >> the 45. put the little yellow thing in the middle. >> jimmy: those have gone away. >> them was the good old days. >> jimmy: are you ready for the surprise? >> what kind of surprise, jimmy? your surprises is different, man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is a good surprise. >> ain't no animals, right? >> jimmy: no animals. >> all right, cool. >> jimmy: no animals. okay. so -- do you know what a half birthday is? in our family with the kids we celebrate half birthdays. so it's like we sing happy birthday, we have half a cake. it's six months before your birthday. >> wow. >> jimmy: or after your birthday. so your birthday is right now. we're after midnight, it's 10/20. [ cheers and applause ] six months to the day after 10 crash 20 is? 10/20 is? >> 4/20. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so on 4/20 i was thinking, i wonder what the half

birthday of 4/20 is. i look in my phone and i see in my calendar it's who, my friend snoop dogg's birthday on 10/20, and it absolutely blew my mind. and i thought, why shouldn't this be a holiday? [ cheers and applause ] send in guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> guillermo: hello, snoop dogg. >> hello, guillermo. >> jimmy: i present you the official proclamation that jimmy is going to read to us. >> jimmy: thank you very much, guillermo. i love your glasses. whereas calvin broadus jr. known as snoop doggy dog has made significant contributions to the pop layerization of marijuana,

aka weed, aka pot, icky, and jolly green sticks. [ cheers and applause ] mr. dogg's birthday miraculously falls on the midway point to 4/20, a coincidence that is totally tripping me out right now. we encourage tokers around the world to lift their began lets of gin and juice, blaze their blunts, scooby their doobies, share their satan's spinach to pay tribute as i, jazimmie kazimmle, proclaim the 20th day of october to be dogfather's day. [ cheers and applause ] i'd like everyone to bow your heads and say bow wow wow yippy yo yippy ya-men. snoop snoop, not only are we

celebrating this momentous occasion in lang, it's being celebrated all around the world. >> it gives me the greatest pleasure to send my warmest congratulations and best wishes. >> congratulations, honey bunch. let's celebrate together soon, and i love you, i love you, i love you. >> i'm so proud of you, man. and so blessed and humble to be a part of your journey. >> i would like to send my warmest congratulations to you, and thank you. >> i celebrate you as a forward thinking, visionary leader. >> keep it going, man. keep the faith. and congratulations to you and your wonderful family. >> thank you for what you've done. your work is an inspiration. >> translator: when you see gray smoke coming out of my chimney, i am not dead, i am doggfather's day. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. president biden was unable to be here tonight, but he asked me to

present you with the first-ever presidential medal of weedom. [ cheers ] for you, snoop dogg on this special day. [ cheers and applause ] is there anything you would like to say to america on this 10/20? >> i'm just so, so -- i'm so at a loss for words. [ laughter ] but i just want to say -- to everyone out there -- one nation under a bud leaf. [ laughter ] and we're gonna blow one bef we pull one. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations. i hope everyone will celebrate tomorrow. the first annual doggfather's day 10/20. banks and schools may be closed but the dispensaries will definitely be open. thank you, snoop dogg. snoop dogg, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "goon with the spoon" comes out november 14th and snoop cereal and dr. bombay ice cream are in stores now. we'll be back with ms. pat.

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>> jimmy: you should give snoop those glasses after we're done. you don't even know what they say, do you? >> guillermo: you know what, i'm so high i haven't seen it, hold on. oh, 10/20, yeah. [ cheers and applause ]

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. music from october london is on

the way. our next guest is a funny lady who rules a courtroom with an iron fist. watch her new show "ms. pat settles it" wednesday nights on b.e.t. please say hello to the honorable ms. pat. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: happy 10/20. happy doggfather day to you. >> i tell you, your studio smells like my 21-year-old son's car. >> jimmy: does it? >> he went to trade it in, they was like, "hell, no." >> jimmy: does he try to hide it, light candles -- >> he used to. i let him smoke now. he lost weight. i got on weed, tried to lose weight, and i gained weight. >> jimmy: i don't know that it's known as a weight loss product. >> he told me, "mama, i smoke because it make me go to the gym."

so i started smoking and i went to sleep. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you've had such an interesting life. the idea, you know, that you had trouble with the law and then you turned your life into a very popular show. you're nominated for an emmy right now. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: you've got all these great things going on. particularly interesting because, you know, you are now hosting a -- you're on the other side of the bench right now, can i give a shout-out to the fulton county jail? >> jimmy: yes. >> in atlanta. i'm trying to get my head shot -- i mean, my mugshot, to prove to everybody i used to be skinny. >> jimmy: hold on a minute. this is when you were arrested at what age? >> 19. i was sexy, too. >> jimmy: 19 years old. you were -- >> skinny. >> jimmy: were you on that weed diet at the time? >> no, i was stealing. >> jimmy: you were stealing, okay. and you got arrested, and you want to have the mugshot? >> i want to have the mugshot because it's also representing when i used to sell crack.

and i was really small. [ laughter ] are you guys judging me, white people? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's rare that somebody has fond memories of their mugshot. >> uh -- i was younger, too. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> i keep telling my husband, "you should have seen me." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so, yeah, if we can track that down, it would be great. now that you're a judge, maybe you'll have some camaraderie with these people. >> i'm on the other side of the beverage. when i went to go pitch this show to b.e.t., i had somebody else in mind. they was like, "why don't you be the judge?" i'm like, i'm a convicted felon. they said, "it's tv, you could be jesus." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that could be a great show if we could get jesus. >> could you imagine me as jesus? [ applause ] i'd ob time. you wouldn't still be waiting on me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you went and pitched them. you had somebody else -- you were going to produce the show? >> yes, i was going to put someone else in the judge's

seat. they said, no, why don't you give it a try? so i gave it a try. it's nice being on the other side of the bench. >> jimmy: is it fun? >> yes! >> jimmy: it is fun. >> yeah, i don't get locked up this time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, but it's also fun when you get to be -- because i've done this on our show. we'll have people have arguments -- >> you've been to jail? >> jimmy: no, no, not yet. [ laughter ] i ruled on disputes. and i love it. i love it because i get home, no one listens to me. [ laughter ] the disputes, i am completely ignored, i might as well just be a silent force in the house. >> you a man, we don't ever less sell at all. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] sometimes i'll say, "does anyone hear the sound of my voice right now?" and no one responds. [ laughter ] to be the person who gets to decide is great, isn't it? >> yes, yes. and i love it, too. because i get to determine if you're going to win money, and when they get unruly on my show, i can say "shut the hell up." >> jimmy: right. [ laughter ] you've been on one of these

judge shows before, right? >> i sure have. >> jimmy: you were on with judge joe brown? >> i was on "judge joe brown" because i own property in atlanta and my tenant ran off with my money. three things you don't play with. my food, my money, and my family. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: in that order? >> however you want it. so i go down to the water company and i slide this boy some lunch money, $50. i say, "tell me where she moved at." he told me where she moved. i sent her a -- i sued her in the mail. i said, 20 years ago i'd have whooped you up. [ laughter ] i'm gonna treat you like white people, i'm going to sue your ass. >> jimmy: good, good. >> judge joe brown called and we ended up on "judge joe brown." >> jimmy: we have a clip here of you as plaintiff. >> the fridge was filthy, the stove was filthy, then you had to dispose of the, shall we say, the toys? >> booty beads.

i didn't know they were booty beads. i'm picking them up out of the bathroom. she told me they were booty beads. i don't decorate my behind. i got stretch marks from both kids, i don't need to decorate my butt. [ cheers and applause ] >> could i just say that that wig was before the money? [ laughter ] oh, my wig was horrible. i think i took it out of a bag. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who won the case? >> i won the case. >> jimmy: you did. >> i had all my evidence. i was not playing around. i was so mad. i'm in there picking up booty beads. i didn't know what a booty bead was. and "put them down." they was dirty. who left these mardi gras beads in my house? i have a handful of nasty, crappy beads. i'm so glad i didn't put them around my neck. >> jimmy: i love to imagine the closed captioning person right now typing the words "booty

beads" over and over again. [ laughter ] >> she was so mad, too, she was so mad. but i got my money? you did? how much did you get? >> i got $3,700, and i was happy until i realized they taxed it. >> jimmy: oh, they taxed your -- >> yeah, we don't could have se this behind the grocery store. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're on a stand-up comedy tour right now, a long one, right? >> i am, called "your girl done made it." >> jimmy: your girl done made it." [ cheers and applause ] i was reading that you road tripped for the first time to a gig in like a lat of years, right? >> yeah, so i had gallstone problem, my gallbladder needed to be removed. the doctor said, you can't fly for two weeks. i'm like, i'm flying. i don't want to drive from atlanta to raleigh to baltimore. you know, my husband is retired and everybody's like, you're not going to die on us, we need your paycheck. [ laughter ] so my whole family got in the car with me and rolled with me to raleigh, to baltimore. once we get to baltimore, i have a son that loves to eat gas

station food. >> jimmy: oh, is this part of the weed diet? [ laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: this is your other son? >> he don't smoke weed, i wish he did. everywhere we stop, he had to have a gas station hot dog and a pizza. and i don't know what it is the gas station food, but i had to go in one gas station, i had to scream, "do not let him eat this, he got heart disease!" >> jimmy: really? did he listen? >> no, he love gas station food. >> jimmy: specifically gas station food? >> he would take you out on a date to kwik trip. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: has he always been like that? >> no, he's like, "mama, you got to try, it's delicious." ever since they put chairs in where you can dine? oh my god, he eat breakfast, lunch, dinner. he feed it to my grandkids. he's so fat now. the hot dogs is coming out his ears. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm so sorry to hear that. but also delighted to hear it,

honestly. wow. okay. well, you know, maybe -- has he been in a restaurant? i think maybe he might like that more. >> he told me, gas station pizza, straight out of the oven at racetrack, will blow your mind. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what they say in italy. >> i think your deejay been there before, he's laughing. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> these people here still eat breakfast products, they're not laughing. [ laughter ] ? it's great to have you here. congratulationed on the shows. "ms. pat settles it" is on b.e.t. wednesdays. you're on a stand-up comedy store. you'll be appearing in gas stations telling them not to sell your son food. >> exactly. >> jimmy: go see and get tickets for "your girl done made it" at mspatcomedy.com. ms. pat, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with october london.

♪ california sky ♪ ♪ todos alcanzamos las estrellas ♪ ♪ sunny state of mind ♪ ♪ flexin' all the time ♪ ♪ todo es dorado ♪ ♪ y nos gusta picante ♪ ♪ cause this place is caliente ♪ ♪ 'tamos enchilado ♪ ♪ feels so golden ♪ ♪ livin' in the golden state with you ♪ ♪ feels so golden ♪ ♪ vive en el estado dorado oooh ♪ ♪ we got that drip, drip, drip ♪ ♪ come take a sip, sip, sip ♪

♪ feels so golden ♪ ♪ vive en el estado dorado ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks to mr. 10/20, snoop dogg. thanks to ms. pat. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, his album is called "the rebirth of marvin." you want to introduce the song snoop?

>> make some noise for "back to your place," october london! ♪ >> thank you, thank you. you guys are far too kind. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ah whoa yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ ah baby i've been thinking bout you ♪ and all of the things i want to do once the day becomes the night ♪

♪ said i've been patient and i've been kind oh but my body is runnin' out of time ♪ ♪ you said your clock on your walls is tickin' so let me give you what you been missing ♪ ♪ so she said take me oh baby take me back to your place your place of residence ♪ ♪ so she said take me oh baby take me back to your place

your place of residence ♪ ♪ oh i've been waiting baby waiting for a long time waiting on you ♪ ♪ for your heart to be mine oh before someone else comes to mind ♪ ♪ but when you oh when you told me that i was the one girl ♪ ♪ i took every hour and minute babe just to make sure that everything is right ♪ ♪ oh take me oh baby take me back to your place your place of residence ♪

♪ so she said take me oh baby take me back to your place ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, sextortion. the search for online scrammers coming for the boys next door. >> this is an end running rampant. >> these people are professional con artists. every day i tol