christian j.r stone. all of us. i'm dan ashley. we appreciate your time as always. right now on jimmy kimmel. marisa tomei. hope you had a great halloween. we'll see you tomorrow. previously on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- marisa tomei, john wilson, and music from madison beer. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel!

yep [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome, welcome. very nice. thanks. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us in our haunted studio here in hollywood. happy halloween. boy, not too many people wearing costumes. i have to say i like that, i really do. do you like my costume? [ cheers and applause ] i'm dressed as one of donald trump's favorite talentless, low-rated creeps of late-night television. [ laughter ] it was tough coming up with a costume this year. the scariest thing i could think of was the news. [ laughter ] i decided to go like this. in case you are wondering, we are not asking adults to steal their kids' hall won candy tomorrow morning. i've been asked this a lot today. but we are working on a twist, kids stealing candy from adults. you know how you set the bowl out and the worst kids in your neighborhood take the whole thing? we have a full sting operation going right now to bring those

little criminals to justice. [ laughter ] in multiple locations. around the country. and our very clever friend mark rober will be here to share the results of that sting operation tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] something to look forward to. guillermo, you seem like you may have stolen a bowl of candy or two over the years, yes? >> guillermo: no, never, jimmy. >> jimmy: never, never? >> guillermo: no, i just eat them, but never, no. i never -- you see the one. >> jimmy: halloween is weird. it's just a weird holiday and every year it gets weirder. some of these decorations now. we have a million decorations at our house. we have a witch outside our house that just never shuts up. [ laughter ] it's like a robot version of your mother-in-law, guillermo. [ laughter ] yammering and yammering and yammering. every night, i unplug it and in the morning the kids plug it right back in. but at least our witch is talking about cauldrons boiling and bubbling. some of these decorations are nuts. ♪ and when the sun goes down

till morning it will just be us ♪ ♪ how would you like to scream all night ♪ snits i'll fill you full of fright ♪ >> it's very inappropriate. ♪ spoil you with my roasted pumpkins ♪ >> this is not appropriate. >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] not at all. i don't know who -- there was a meeting and there was a reporting session -- [ applause ] someone decided that would be a good song for a pumpkin to sing. a zune keyny, yeah. [ laughter ] pumpkin, no. and then once you're covered in pumpkin seed, we have this sexually-excited ghoul. >> oh, oh, oh! oh, hard, oh, oh! >> jimmy: well, at least she died happy, i guess. [ laughter ] people go to great lengths on

halloween. why, i'm not sure. it's beyond me. this guy spent all day setting up some kind of a maze and then gravity came to town. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. kind of feels like a metaphor for the world right now, doesn't it? [ laughter ] all right, well at least -- oh -- no, at least that pole is still up -- no, it isn't. [ laughter ] now the maze is easy, i guess. see, that's what's going to happen at every spirit halloween store tomorrow at 9:00 a.m., will be that scene. [ laughter ] the weather is very unusual right now. for much of the country, this is the coldest halloween in many years. minnesota got down to the low 20s. it was 84 in l.a. today. the governor of california issued a heat advisory for all chewbaccas aged 60 and up. [ laughter ] to stay indoors. it's so hot here, at the end of

october, we've even had to turn to the kardashians for help. >> our temperature is getting hotter and hotter. the sea levels are rising. the ice sheets are shrinking. and i'm not a scientist, but -- i do believe everyone can use their skill set to do their part. that's why i'm introducing a brand-new bra with a built-in nipple. so no matter how hot it is, you'll always look cold. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well. hand that woman the nobel prize right now. wasn't she becoming a lawyer? wasn't she taking the bar? now she's selling nipple nubs to people. [ laughter ] quaef got to get one of those. put the nipples right on the butt and walk around. you have to be careful on halloween. there's a very important watchdog group called "consumers research" that has put out what they call a "woke alert" to warn us about woke,

overly incluesive candies. the three candies on their "woke list" this year are m&ms, kit kats, and skittles. m&ms because they have a "gender bending" ad campaign. kit kats because they sponsored an organization that supports the lgbtq community. and skittles because they're gay. [ laughter ] they're a gay candy, skittles. [ cheers and applause ] since the beginning skittles has been telling us, taste the rainbow, for like 30 years. [ laughter ] meanwhile, nobody says a word about mike and ike and their little vacation to key west. [ laughter ] what makes those ranchers so jolly, you know? [ laughter ] what a dumb group of people spreading their dumb thoughts on dumb things. candy is "woke." the whole concept of halloween is "woke." putting on makeup and getting dressed in fabulous outfits to walk the streets with your friends -- if halloween happened in june, it would be a pride parade. [ cheers and applause ] what they ought to be looking out for, especially here in california, is the stoned parents accidentally handing out their weed.

>> it's a scary treat you want to keep your kids away from. a closer look showing us they're cannabis edibles. somehow these treats ended up at a kids' trunk or treat event at this alameda elementary school sunday, organized by the school pta. >> the initial case, the parents did report a student had ingested the ed dibble. >> i love chocolate! >> jimmy: oh, wow. a sugar high and regular high. [ cheers and applause ] you've got to be careful with that stuff. have you heard of trunk or treat? i'd never heard of this before. over the last week i've heard about it 15 times. apparently it's been going on since the early '90s. the idea is instead of going house to house, neighbors park their cars in a lot and let the kids go from trunk to trunk getting candy, which makes sense. i think we can all agree that what trick-or-treating needed was to feel more like a drug deal. [ laughter ] and aren't we supposed to tell our kids not to take candy from

a stranger in a parking lot? it's very lazy too. at a certain point, why not just call instacart? [ laughter ] "kids! your halloween candy is at the door, go get it!" [ laughter ] florida governor ron desantis may have some explaining to do. have you been following the mystery of whether or not desantis wears lifts in his boots? a number of people have been claiming he wears special big boy boots to make him taller. he says no, but experts on the subject disagree. politico went to three prominent bootmakers and asked if they thought daens was enhancing his height. they all said yes. he claims to be 5'11". which is important. one of the most important qualities we consider when choosing a leader is their height. [ laughter ] that's why i've been pushing for a president kareem for many, many years. [ laughter and applause ] many of ron desantis' critics

think he's smaller than he is. >> the top of the boot touches the bottom three inches in. that's just weird, folks. say what you want. i'm criticizing that mentality. it's that insecurity. if you're that insecure, if you're 5'7", own it. right? that insecurity on a world stage is not going to work out well for us. that's the kind of stuff that gets us into wars, eventually. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] so true. take it from a guy who's not insecure at all. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] whose father weighs 215 pounds. but it does seem that ron desantis may be wearing heels. i tell you what, throw in a tube of lipstick and suddenly it's illegal to teach kids in florida public schools about their own governor. [ laughter and applause ] every now and then, we like to shine a light on the state ron desantis calls home, and with that said, it's time for another edition of "this week in florida." ♪

>> the de soto county sheriff's office is hoping the public can help identify the driver of this white chevy silverado. investigators say the person is impersonating law enforcement officers, and they're actually pulling people over. the truck is equipped with red and blue lights and has the words "booty patrol" on the side. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: well, where else are you supposed to put the words "booty patrol" on the roof? they not only have the license plate, they have the truck. [ laughter ] how hard could he be to find? the not-so-great pumpkin was up very late last night mashing his little pink fingers posting all-caps rants about the gag order that clearly isn't working too well. he wrote -- "radical left judge taking away my right to free speech in order to help crooked joe biden and his third world election interference scam." seven minutes and three flushes of the toilet later he posted --

"remember, crooked joe biden and his radical left thugs waited three years to bring these indictments and lawsuits against me, right in the middle of my campaign!" that was at 1:12 a.m., and then three hours later, at 4:24, i guess he got up in the middle of the night and reposted it, adding -- "election interference!!!" [ laughter ] he woke up and went, "i forgot to say "election interference!" in all caps. what is it with him and the caps? he types in all caps. he wears red caps. [ laughter ] he had his supporters storm the cap. he's a real piece of cap. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] meanwhile, our elected president, joe biden, was very busy last night greeting trick-or-treaters at the white house. >> well, look at this little critter. hello there. our dog commander likes to eat little guys like you. look at this. abraham lincoln. haven't seen you since high school. kemosabe.

hey, look, it's stupid mario. take this box of cigarettes. wow, it's howdy doody. you know why? howie means hello in cowboy talk. doody, that's what you make in the boom boom room. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: he's old enough to know. anyone who knows me knows i love a good halloween trick, especially around the office, so to get our staff into the spirit today, we thought it would be fun to dress a couple of dogs in these spider costumes, have you seen these? they're costumes for dogs. they're kind of great. we bought a couple. we dressed up some pets. and we let them loose on our unsuspecting co-workers, including me.

>> oh my god! [ bleep ]! hi! ♪ >> oh my god. >> oh! >> oh my god. ugh! i hate you guys. i hate everyone in this office. >> by going in to see that people were technically not supposed to -- [ bleep ]. >> aah! oh my god, what is this?

what is that? what is that? better not be an animal out here. oh! there is! aahh! [ bleep ]! what is going on? it was huge and it was furry. >> can we get him? >> don't shut your door! >> mother [ bleep ]. ♪ who let the dogs out ho ho ho ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: cousin micki, happy halloween. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: hold on, i want to ask you something. did you not know those were dogs? >> no. >> jimmy: what did you think they were? >> spiders. they say spiders are big.

so i thought it was -- aahh! >> i still believe in the spiders! >> jimmy: what happened over there? what's behind you? those will be in your bedroom tonight. >> i'm sure. >> jimmy: cousin micki, everybody. thanks. [ cheers and applause ] hey, we have a good show for you tonight. john wilson is here. we have music from madison beer. and we'll be right back with marisa tomei.

♪ heatin' up the kitchen ♪ ♪ we got somethin different ♪ ♪ spreadin' good vibes all day ♪ ♪ todos a la mesa ♪ ♪ que buena la mezcla ♪ ♪ it don't get no better ♪ ♪ livin' in the golden state ♪ ♪ lovin' this land everyday ♪ ♪ norte a sur lo puedes ver ♪ ♪ nada se puede comparar ♪ ♪ livin' in the golden state ♪ ♪ vive en el estado dorado...yeah ♪

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: look at that, beautiful. tonight, his thoroughly delightful show on max is called "how to with john wilson." john wilson is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, a talented singer-songwriter from jericho, new york. her album is called "silence between songs," music from madison beer. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, we'll be joined by octavia spencer and mike birbiglia, with music from devon gilfillian. please join us for that. our first guest is an oscar winner and my fellow brooklynite who missed out on a lot of candy to be with us

tonight. her new movie, with peter dinklage and anne hathaway, is called "she came to me," you can see it on demand starting november 10th. please welcome marisa tomei. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: this is amazing. this is like a costume, but also a real outfit, right? >> yeah, but it's a costume. >> jimmy: it's a costume? >> yeah. you see the little ovaries? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that what that is? >> yes. had you seen that? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's actually educational. >> yes. >> jimmy: we grew up really close to each other. >> yes. >> jimmy: we grew up -- i think like a mile and a half from each other. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and do you remember slim goodbody, the guy who would come to the school? did he come to your school? slim goodbody was kind of a

pre-richard simmons, a skinny guy with an afro, he had a suit that was flesh-colored. you could see all the organs were drawn on the suit. >> i see where you're going. >> jimmy: reminding me of slim goodbody. >> no, i did not take this idea from slim goodbody. >> jimmy: what was brooklyn like trick-or-treating when you were a kid? what was -- do you remember that? you know, that experience? >> yeah. >> jimmy: because it's different, right? >> well, i mean, it's exciting. the neighborhood. we lived on a dead-end, which made it extra spooky, actually. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, yeah. but it was probably just the usual. i mean, you know, getting my mom -- she used to mic my costumes. >> jimmy: always, right? >> that was really, really nice. >> jimmy: did you ever have the store-bought costume in the box with the plastic mask and the rubber band that breaks almost immediately? >> my brother had that. i had the goods. >> jimmy: most days -- i remember, like -- you got something, like for me, my mom made me a vampire cape. so that meant i was a vampire for the next five years. [ laughter ]

every halloween, that was my costume, right? >> true, it was recycled, yes. >> jimmy: right. tell me if you remember this. when would you trick-or-treat on halloween? >> like -- dusk. >> jimmy: dusk? >> yeah, dusk-ish. yeah, dusk. >> jimmy: for us we would go -- i don't know, maybe it's because we're -- i don't know. we would go right after school. we would go trick or treating. >> oh, oh, yeah. i was a latchkey kid. >> jimmy: you didn't have that? >> we didn't have that. >> jimmy: when we moved to las vegas when i was 9 years old, my sister and i went right after school trick-or-treating. the people are like, what are you doing? we don't even have candy yet, come back later. >> came home empty-handed, that's it. >> jimmy: because of the weather is probably what it is. i wonder if kids are still trick-or-treating right after school? >> i don't know. it was dusk, kind of scary, it was nice. >> jimmy: do you get trick-or-treaters at your house? >> i live in an apartment, so yeah. >> jimmy: any kids living in the

apartment that come around? >> no. >> jimmy: nothing, huh? >> a lot of old people. [ laughter ] and me. >> jimmy: none of the old people come looking? looking for hard candy? werthers originals or something like that? >> exactly. cough drops. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i remember halloween being like a fun thing in brooklyn, and then in vegas -- i don't know, maybe i just got a little older and i wasn't that into it. >> if you weren't into it hare i can see. you -- i dressed up. i'll go into it tonight. >> jimmy: sorry to disappoint you. if it makes you feel any better, you're in a long line of women i've disappointed. [ laughter and applause ] it's not just you. what was your favorite candy? what was the prize item? >> maybe -- like a twizzlers, red vines. i likes those. >> jimmy: nice. >> what did you like? banana -- >> jimmy: gum.

>> gum? like a basic? what are you talking about? >> jimmy: gum. i love gum. i still to this day will pick all the gum out of my kids' bass k baskets and claim it for myself. double bubble. >> okay. >> jimmy: bazooka. >> it doesn't feel like holiday festive. >> jimmy: that's how i celebrate. >> okay. >> jimmy: i like the gum. i don't like twizzlers. to me it's like eating a toy. i do not eat twizzlers or licorice. >> how about candy corn? >> jimmy: everyone hates candy corn, i like it. i like circus peanuts. the two moist reviled candies i enjoy. >> you're not fighting with anybody over what's in that jack-o-lantern. >> jimmy: i guess not. >> you're getting the leftovers. >> jimmy: maybe i'm nonconfrontational is why i like the candies nobody else wants. you don't love gum? >> no, i don't love gum in the thing. [ laughter ] i guess swedish fish, that would be very hoity-toity. to get like a swedish fish.

>> jimmy: that's not gum. [ laughter ] >> no, it ain't gum. >> jimmy: when we were kids, swedish fish did not come preacknowledged when we were kids, right? >> no, it was floating out there with everything else. >> jimmy: yeah, it came in a paper bag at the candy store. >> you put your hands into the jack-o-lantern -- >> jimmy: it would be cleaner eating an actual fish than the swedish fish. [ laughter ] the swedish fish had lint on them all the time. >> yes. at least we'd have to parse it out -- did you have that rumor, razor blades? that was very scary. >> jimmy: it was. it turned out -- still, i think people are fearful of razor blades in the candy. i think that happened once in 1972. like, it never happens. it makes sense. oh my god, i've got to check the candy. and of course you should check the candy, what the hell. but your neighbors -- it's not like they're renting the house for that night. [ laughter ] they live -- you can find them pretty easily. >> yeah, that's why you're stuck with gum, though.

>> jimmy: probably so, gum is the safest one. we're going to take a break. when we come back, we're going to talk about your movie with peter dinklage. marisa tomei is with us. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back. detect this: living with hiv, i learned that i can stay undetectable with fewer medicines. that's why i switched to dovato. dovato is a complete hiv treatment for some adults. no other complete hiv pill uses fewer medicines to help keep you undetectable than dovato. detect this: most hiv pills contain 3 or 4 medicines. dovato is as effective with just 2. if you have hepatitis b, don't stop dovato without talking to your doctor. don't take dovato if you're allergic to its ingredients or taking dofetilide. this can cause serious or life-threatening side effects. if you have a rash or allergic reaction symptoms, stop dovato and get medical help right away. serious or life-threatening lactic acid buildup and liver problems can occur. tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems

or if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or considering pregnancy. dovato may harm an unborn baby. most common side effects are headache, nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping, tiredness, and anxiety. detect this: i stay undetectable with fewer medicines. ask your doctor about switching to dovato. ♪ on your period, sudden gushes happen. say goodbye gush fears! thanks to always ultra thins... with rapiddry technology... that absorbs two times faster. hellooo clean and comfortable. always. fear no gush.

and it says "papa i love you". why did you do that? because you've taught me everything about baseball.

oh hunny bunny. ( ♪ ) what do you do? >> i operate a tugboat. >> you operate a tugboat. >> you thought they just puttered around by themselves? >> oh no, i just -- i wasn't expecting that. wow.

where do you live? >> on the boat. based in baton rouge at the moment. but i'm everywhere. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is peter dinklage and marisa tomei. "she came to me." you play a tugboat captain. >> yes, i do. >> jimmy: you got the script, oh, am i going to play another tugboat captain? >> type casting. >> jimmy: when you get a call or however this comes to you, yeah, they want you to play a tugboat captain. you're immediately like, yes, i think that sounds fun? >> actually, yes, it is exactly like that. >> jimmy: you probably don't get partnershiped that type of role. >> i might get the chance to drive a tugboat on the east river in new york, for reals. >> jimmy: did you go train -- did you get into it and experience the life of a tugboat captain? >> yeah. well -- in a miniature form, yeah. i slept on the boat for about a week. >> jimmy: oh. >> stayed with the crew. ate with the crew. >> jimmy: did you? >> yeah.

got to move things around. you know. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i would have went onto that -- can i tell you? this is why i don't -- >> it happens. >> jimmy: this is one of the reasons why i don't have an academy award. i wouldn't even go on -- i would just look at a picture, "yeah, i got it, that's a tugboat, yeah." [ laughter ] do you feel you could operate a tugboat now? >> no. >> jimmy: in a pinch? not at all? >> in a pinch? i was hoping it would be the big wheel. that's a thing of the past. it's a joystick now. >> jimmy: is it really? >> yes, almost like a gaming thing. you're doing it with a joystick. >> jimmy: so disappointing. >> a little less romantic. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, right. and were you with other tugboat captains? >> yes. i was with captain dean on this, yes. dean deion. and he showed me the ropes. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> and i slept in the captain's berth. he gave it up for me. >> jimmy: nice. >> so i could sleep there for a while. we shot in that berth too. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yes. >> jimmy: your love scene with peter is -- that's actually in, that wasn't -- >> on that actual tug, yeah.

>> jimmy: really? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: why? >> tiny are, tiny. twice the size of this desk, that little room. >> jimmy: it's like an apartment in new york, basically. [ laughter ] wow. did you get seasick? was that something that you had to deal with? >> i didn't get seasick, no, actually. i liked it. i took to it easier than i thought i would, actually. >> jimmy: really? this tugboat lifestyle could work? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: the tugboat people themselves, do they -- they must have been very excited to have you aboard. >> well, maybe. i was like, maybe i was in their hair a little bit, i guess. >> jimmy: did they have tugboat stories to share with you? >> yeah. i mean, there were people -- it's a really interesting life. people who just -- they want to live a free life. most of the people who don't want to live any convention or people who have been in prison or people who have just -- they want to find another way. the wide-open sea is really the last frontier, really. >> jimmy: interesting. and yet, even though they're out

having freedom on the wide open sea, they're still always tugging a boat behind them. [ laughter ] >> wherever you go, there you are. >> jimmy: i can really move around if i didn't have this boat to tug! >> a little bit of baggage. >> jimmy: you are also i know an executive producer on a documentary. >> yeah, "the lakota nation versus the united states." >> jimmy: "the lakota nation versus the united states." what's the story there? >> my friend jesse shortbull brought it to me. and it's about -- the title is taken from the supreme court case where the lakota brought it to the supreme court, they actually won, but the united states had broken their treaties -- [ cheers and applause ] they'd been fighting -- that's right, yeah. to get back their sacred lands in the dakotas. >> jimmy: isn't it a spoiler alert that they won? >> well, kind of not because it still goes on, even they won, they're still in the battle. >> jimmy: right. it's great to see you. thank you for coming.

happy halloween. thank you for sharing your halloween with us. guillermo, get some twizzlers, make sure may ris has them. >> guillermo: i will. >> jimmy: thank you very much. "she came to me" will be on demand starting november 10th and "lakota nation vs. united states" is available everywhere you rent movies and on amc plus. marisa tomei, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with john wilson! i'm kareem abdul jabbar. i was diagnosed with afib. the first inkling that something was wrong was i started to notice that i couldn't do things without losing my breath. i couldn't make it through the airport, and every like 20 or 30 yards i had to sit down and get my breath. every physical exertion seemed to exhaust me. and finally, i went to the hospital where i was diagnosed with afib. when i first noticed symptoms, which kept coming and going, i should have gone to the doctor and told them what was happening. instead, i tried to let it pass.

if you experience irregular heartbeat, heart racing, chest pain, shortness of breath, fatigue, or light-headedness, you should talk to your doctor. afib increases the risk of stroke about 5 times i want my experience to help others understand the symptoms of atrial fibrillation. when it comes to your health, this is no time to wait. holy cannoli. look at this. it's like a science project. ordering lunch -- easy for you and me but can be so difficult for a young homeowner turning into their parents. are those all different lettuces? uh, yes, sir. brown rice, white rice, or quinoa? -[ groans ] -we're gonna need a minute. do you have any food allergies? -well, my teeth are sensitive to cold. progressive can't protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. that'll be $19.45. oh, i'm just paying for my own salad.

[ "am:pm" by notd begins ] that'll be $19.45. how good does it feel when threshold decor welcomes more seasonal style for less? when you can save on good & gather groceries in all the fall flavors. and when quality ingredients bring more to the table. when you get low prices on the latest trends. when rewards come with quality and coziness.

and when you're serving up taste they love at low prices. that's totally target. big moment here for charles who ate a big 'ole bowl of raisin bran crunch and packed a downright immaculate carry-on. big chuck, you sock rollin son of a... ♪ the new bbq ranch chicken crunch from jimmy john's is here. with housemade bbq ranch sauce, all-natural chicken and crispy tortilla strips. all that sauciness comes as a sandwich sandwich or wrap. sandwich or wrap?!!! for a limited time, at jimmy john's as a sandwich or wrap!?

>> lou: it's time to play "will you where what's in this box?" >> we have a costume in this box. will you wear whatever's in this box? open up the box for me. >> okay. oh! >> arem, how do you feel? >> i'm feeling good. >> what are you? >> i'm in hollywood. >> arem, have you ever heard of

furries? >> no. >> probably for the best. when moderate to severe ulcerative colitis takes you off course. put it in check with rinvoq, a once-daily pill. when i wanted to see results fast, rinvoq delivered rapid symptom relief and helped leave bathroom urgency behind. check. when uc tried to slow me down... i got lasting, steroid-free remission with rinvoq. check. and when uc caused damage rinvoq came through by visibly repairing my colon lining. check. rapid symptom relief... lasting steroid-free remission... ...and the chance to visibly repair the colon lining. check, check, and check. rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tb. serious infections and blood clots, some fatal; cancers, including lymphoma and skin cancer; death, heart attack, stroke, and tears in the stomach or intestines occurred. people 50 and older with at least 1 heart disease risk factor have higher risks. don't take if allergic to rinvoq as serious reactions can occur. tell your doctor if you are or may become pregnant. put uc in check and keep it there with rinvoq.

ask your gastroenterologist about rinvoq and learn how abbvie can help you save. is it menopause or something else? the menopause journey has stages. learn about yours with clearblue menopause stage indicator... that tracks your fsh hormone levels... combining them with your cycle data. what's your menopause stage? he hits his mark —center stage—and is crushed by a baby grand piano. you're replacing me? customize and save with liberty bibberty. he doesn't even have a mustache.

only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ experience the art of high pressure only pay for what you need. brewed coffee and espresso with the l'or barista system. enjoy richer, bolder flavors complete with velvet smooth crema. now brewing peet's coffee. to help protect from hiv. i prep without pills. with apretude, a prescription medicine used to reduce the risk of hiv without daily prep pills. with one shot every other month, just 6 times a year. in studies, apretude was proven superior to a daily prep pill in reducing the risk of hiv. you must be hiv negative to receive apretude and get tested before each injection. if you think you were exposed to hiv

or have flu-like symptoms, tell your doctor right away. apretude does not prevent other sexually transmitted infections. practice safer sex to reduce your risk. don't take apretude if you're allergic to it or taking certain medicines, as they may interact. tell your doctor if you've had liver problems or mental health concerns. if you have a rash or other allergic reactions, stop apretude and get medical help right away. serious side effects include allergic reactions, liver problems, and depression. some of the most common side effects include injection-site reactions and headache. you must receive apretude as scheduled. ask your doctor about long-acting apretude. and prep without pills. save at apretude.com

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. music from madison beer is on the way. if aliens were to land on my bed tomorrow and demand to know what human life is really like, i'd show them every episode of our next guest's show, "how to with john wilson." >> competitors try to suck up as much as they could in a given amount of time. the first round was canister vacuums. and the judges were really

meticulous in how they graded each performance. next to compete were the upright vacuums. all very evenly matched. it was an exhilarating sight. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you can watch all three seasons of "how to with john wilson" on max now. please welcome john wilson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: wow. you're john dressed as a john, huh? >> yeah. >> jimmy: is that why or is that a coincidence? >> no, i'm just trying to spread awareness. [ laughter ] that i'm -- >> jimmy: the show? >> a toilet now. >> jimmy: yeah because the first episode of the show is about

public toilets. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's fascinating. oh my god. [ laughter ] thank you. [ cheers and applause ] i'll have these later. >> okay. >> jimmy: guillermo, would you like a tootsie roll? >> guillermo: yeah, sure, throw one. >> jimmy: really? all right. enjoy. [ rim shot ] >> those aren't tootsie rolls. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: if you walk around outside wearing this, someone will use it. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i invite it. it would be fine. >> jimmy: each time you're here, i try my best to explain your show. when i try to explain your show to people in regular situations, i usually say, "just watch the show." but it's -- it's a documentary, basically? >> yeah. >> jimmy: fair to say? >> basically, yeah. you know, there's one episode about public restrooms. and the kind of lack thereof in new york city. so i spend a lot of time going

into different kinds of restrooms. and then, you know, i go elsewhere. >> jimmy: and you go elsewhere. not only you go elsewhere, it seems like you start out with a theme. then the theme sometimes changes as you meet people and they take you down a different path? >> yeah, like the clip you just saw of the vacuum cleaner convention. that started as an episode called "how to watch the game" that was about sports. [ laughter ] and -- yeah, and that's just kind of where things naturally concluded. >> jimmy: you tapped into this vacuum cleaner community. i would imagine that you are very, very happy when you arrive at a vacuum cleaning competition? >> oh, yeah. i feel more at home there than i do here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't feel like you're at home right now? >> i don't mind. you're always very nice. >> jimmy: let's see. we saw the vacuum cleaner

collectors. we saw -- you've had body builders on the show. you had a woman who dates serial killers. >> yes. >> jimmy: a chronic masturbator. >> yeah. >> jimmy: buffalo bills fans. very weird, weird individuals in general. >> yeah. yeah, and then they're all, like -- yeah, they all have really great stories. i don't know, i love them. >> jimmy: did you ever think about introducing the master baiter to the vacuum cleaner guys? [ laughter ] >> i figured that some forms might cross over. but no, i never -- you know, i never did a crossover episode or a reunion special or anything. >> jimmy: one of the more i guess normal people on the show was a guy who had the theme from "the godfather" as his car horn? >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: it seemed a little off key to me, kind of. >> yeah. we were in coney island, he showed me -- yeah, he installed a "godfather" theme. it was, you know -- it's a little fast. but i really fell in love with it.

i actually -- i found who made it and i installed the "godfather" horn in my own 1989 volvo. [ laughter ] but my car, like -- it hasn't been working as well since i put it in. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. and it broke down a few times. >> jimmy: you think it's because of the horn? >> yeah, i think it's something to do with the battery or something like that. >> jimmy: and when -- >> i don't regret it. >> jimmy: in what situations will you unleash the horn? >> it actually has a -- an amazing practical use. >> jimmy: what? >> i was picking someone up from the airport and they didn't know how far away i was in line. so i turned on the "godfather" theme horn, and they knew exactly how far away i was. lau[ laughter ] >> jimmy: it has one practical application. >> yeah, at the airport. >> jimmy: you have all this incredible footage of new york, new york city, and also just you capture people in their natural environments. and then there's also a lot of

trash. i mean, just like a huge amount -- like i don't think -- even is on cart grouch i think would be startled at the amount of trash that you have on the show. >> yeah. and -- yeah. the city is constantly delivering little gifts. i'll see an arrangement of trash that just feels like this -- it looks like a beautiful sculpture, but it doesn't seem like it could naturally have been placed there. like normal trash would. i feel like people are putting things together to bait me. >> jimmy: specifically for you? >> yeah, i saw a -- i saw -- there was a toilet. [ laughter ] on the street. and in the tank of the toilet was a briefcase. and i opened up the briefcase. and inside of that briefcase was a smaller briefcase. [ laughter ] and inside of that smaller -- i'm not kidding. inside of that smaller briefcase was a big mac. [ laughter ] and it felt warm.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: well that had to be -- >> more chilling. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that had to be somebody messing with you, or just mcdonald's is packaging their happy meals in a very unusual way nowadays. >> yes. >> jimmy: one episode is like -- becomes like a thriller. and your car blows up at the end. i don't want to spoil it, but your car does blow up at the end. [ laughter ] i did want to ask about that. because there's so much -- the show is very gentle, i think, throughout the whole way. then suddenly your car just blows up. >> yeah. i mean, it was always a dream to -- [ laughter ] you know. when you're a kid, when i'm a kid -- when i was a kid, i wanted to blow up -- i always wanted to blow up a car. >> jimmy: did you? >> in a movie, yeah. you know, because i -- i was on this trip with this man, bruce beverage, who wrote a book about

it, about a "titanic" conspiracy theory, that "titanic" didn't actually sink. jury's still out. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. and that's his real name, bruce beverage? >> yeah, yeah. i really rolled the dice. you know, because his name was just so amazing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and -- anyway, we met up. we spent the whole tend in tennessee together just playing with -- going on rides and playing with monkeys and stuff. [ laughter ] and then i get him to the point where i'm going to blow up the car. and i tell him that i'm going to -- off-camera, i tell him i'm about to blow up the car. and this has been kind of -- he's in the middle of a thriller i've written, and that he may not have known about. he wasn't upset or anything. i he just kind of asked if his wife could watch. [ laughter ] and he also asked for a bottle of malibu. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: were you able to russru rustle up a rattle? >>. >> hbo, i think, paid for the bottle of malibu. >> jimmy: i hope they paid for the door, that, did they not? >> they also paid for the car. it was a duplicate car. it was a duplicate volvo. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, yeah. so, you know. that's -- so my car is still driving around with, like -- breaking down intermittently with the "godfather" theme. >> jimmy: with the "godfather" horn, yeah. you love refuse, garbage. but also you love going on the craigslist free apps? >> oh, yeah, yeah. it's -- that's in the -- that's a deep well of inspiration. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how often are you on that? >> hourly. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: because you don't want to miss something? >> yeah, because you know -- it's always really one-of-a-kind imagery, you know, that you can't see anywhere else. and i don't know anywhere else

where it refreshes that frequently. >> jimmy: yeah, no. you've actually put together -- >> oh, yeah, i made a little book of all the screen shots that i took. and here -- here's one that i like. okay, yeah. i like -- they get very descriptive in ways. they usually -- this one's two packs of american spirits, lightly used. [ laughter ] comes from a smoke-free home. [ laughter ] and will happily combine into one full pack to ensure easy pickup. [ laughter ] i really liked -- because usually, like a couch will say "from a smoke-free home." that was the first time i saw cigarettes coming from -- >> jimmy: i guess that's why they didn't want them. this is what here? >> we have some -- oh, yeah. also weird pairings. like free movie and dog spray. [ laughter ] some special somebody out there needed both. >> jimmy: we have one more here. >> oh, yeah. free jar jar binks suit. i'm getting married later this

month and my fiancee hates it. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: maybe he shouldn't be getting married to that woman. >> yeah. yeah, a lot of relationship drama plays out on craigslist, too. >> jimmy: the show is -- i think you've captured the show very well. it is delightful. and it's great to have you here. >> yeah. >> jimmy: watch all three seasons. you'll probably watch them all in one shot. "how to with john wilson" is on max right now. john wilson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, john. thanks for the tootsie roll. we'll be back with madison beer!

>> jimmy: thanks to marisa tomei and john wilson. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, this is her album, it's called "silence between songs." here with the song "sweet relief," madison beer! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ mmm

♪ mmm all i need is sweet relief ooh ♪ ♪ please leave godspeed i can't be around you right now don't speak ♪ ♪ it's a problem it's addictive i need you to listen to me baby listen to me ♪ ♪ take me high lay me down ♪ ♪ it's so reckless of me but this feeling is deeply profound ♪ ♪ it's just something only we know baby i can't help myself ♪ ♪ i'm seein' you

everywhere i go i don't dream of anyone else ♪ ♪ all i need sweet relief it's just somethin' only we know ♪ ♪ something only we know ♪ ♪ ♪ can't eat can't sleep no you're not makin' this easy on me ♪ ♪ it's a problem that we're choosin' to be no we won't let 'em see ♪ ♪ take me high lay me down ♪ ♪ it's so reckless of me but this feeling is deeply profound ♪ ♪ it's just something only we know

baby i can't help myself ♪ ♪ i'm seein' you everywhere i go i don't dream of anyone else ♪ ♪ all i need sweet relief it's just somethin' only we know ♪ ♪ something only we know ♪ ♪ no ooh something only we know ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh something only we know ♪ ♪ all i need sweet relief it's just somethin' only we know ♪ ♪ something only we know ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight -- tensions rising. the alarming surge of hate on college campuses. >> he bashes a megaphone onto my nose and it instantly breaks. >> it's incredibly scary right now on college campuses. >> >> byron: as the war intensifies between israel and hamas, a massive air strike hitting a gaza refugee camp today. the new warning for americans.