Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  September 17, 2024 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

11:35 pm
>> exactly. are there any treats inside of those balls? yeah. all right. thank you so much for watching tonight. i'm ama daetz and i'm dan ashley for sandhya patel, larry beil, all of us. >> we appreciate your time right now on jimmy kimmel george clooney. >> we hope you have a great night. we will see you again tomorrow. but of course, check out the morning show. ♪ sit down. did you bring the money?
11:36 pm
>> you can count it. >> we trust you. >> so, what happens now? >> you go home. >> that's it? >> that's it. >> i just -- i can't have this coming back to me. i have a family. >> you go home. you have a nice dinner. you kiss your wife. do whatever the [ bleep ] you do on a normal friday night. and you let us take care of it. >> okay, you sure? >> we're sure. >> who's the mark? >> oh. him. [ laughter ] i need you to make sure he -- buys the zoo. [ laughter ] if you know what i mean.
11:37 pm
>> we'll do this one for free. [ laughter ] >> seriously? >> wait. what about all of his adoring fans? >> ha ha ha! >> ha ha ha! >> his adoring fans! ha ha ha! >> get out. >> go. >> oh. thank you so much. you won't regret this. >> did he smell like soup? >> chutney. >> hm. next! [ cheers and applause ] >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- george clooney. kaitlin olson.
11:38 pm
and special guest oprah winfrey. plus music from the smashing pumpkins. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. hi. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching. thank you for coming. oh man, oh man, you picked a very good night to be here. this show tonight, by the end of the hour, i think you will agree, is the supermoon of television shows. george clooney, we already saw brad pitt, kaitlin olson, music from the smashing pumpkins, and we have one more tremendous surprise for you too. [ cheers and applause ] you won't be disappointed. speaking of smashed pumpkins -- you know, i'll get to trump
11:39 pm
later. [ laughter ] the big news last night was diddy got arrested. did you see this? this is definitely not a morning you want to wake up "feeling like p diddy." sean combs is in custody in new york where he was indicted on charges of sex trafficking and racketeering. according to prosecutors, p. was head of "a criminal super prize" that included, among other things, forced labor, kidnapping, bribery, and arson. he plead the not guilty today. his lawyer said "he's going to clear his name" and you know he has a lot of them to clear. [ laughter ] many of the charges center around wild parties he referred to as "freak offs." >> they also seized evidence of the freak offs. electronic devices that contain images and videos of the freak offs with multiple victims. and they seized cases and cases of the kinds of personal lubricant and baby oil that combs' staff allegedly used to stock the hotel rooms for the
11:40 pm
freak offs, more than 1,000 bottles altogether. >> jimmy: more than 1,000 bottles of luke can't? they won't be able to keep him behind bars, he'll slip right out! [ laughter ] [ applause ] i mean, what a trip to cvs that is. the charges in the unsealed indictment are very serious. but each time they reference the defendant, it goes like this. "sean combs, a/k/a "puff daddy", a/k/a "p. diddy", a/k/a "diddy", a/k/a "pd", a/k/a "love", that's six guys. in one jail cell together. [ laughter ] the judge denied bail -- ruling diddy to be a flight risk, which means he will be detained for the duration of the trial. in the meantime, he's getting his character references lined up. >> i'm a very strict and focuse for diddy for six years trained me to have to be perfect. >> working for kiddie? >> absolutely. >> i love diddy. >> i love diddy. >> he's a good friend of mine, he's a good guy.
11:41 pm
is he a good guy? >> i don't want to answer that question. >> well, i think he's a good guy, i'm going to stick up for him. >> jimmy: well. to be fair, he also thinks kim jong-un is a good guy. [ laughter ] only the best people. last night, with less than two months before an election, in which he's asking america to make him president again, donald trump took a break from protecting our geese -- [ laughter ] to launch a new trump cryptocurrency. world liberty financial is the name. they say they're legit, they're working with the top security experts in the world, including zokyo, fuzzland, peckshield -- and other top companies with names that sound like sex toy manufacturers. [ laughter ] the guy behind this is a gentleman named chase herrocall of the internet," and i don't know if you've seen the internet, but there's some stiff competition for that title. [ laughter ] but if there is one thing that's clear, it's that when it comes to this new digital currency, donald trump really knows his stuff. >> why is it important for america to lead with cryptocurrency adoption and
11:42 pm
innovation? >> well, it's crypto. it's a.i. it's so many other things. you know, a.i., speaking of an interesting future, it needs tremendous electricity capability. and china's already building electric plants. and they want to build them for, you know, for the a.i. and it's very important. so you want to get in, whether it's crypto or a.i. or other things that are coming along, and it's part of the game. >> jimmy: in other words, he has no clue. [ laughter ] he has no idea. all he knows about crypto is he's getting money from it. the trumps will get paid for promoting this crypto, but according to bloomberg, the platform isn't "owned, managed, operated or sold" by any of them, which is something i look forward to hearing them say repeatedly in four years when this gets them all arrested. [ laughter ] maybe the weirdest part of this whole thing is that trump's youngest son barron, has been named their "defi visionary" that's right. their "visionary" graduated high
11:43 pm
school three months ago. [ laughter ] when i have to admit is impressive. my dad would never have trusted me to run one of his criminal enterprises when i was that age. [ laughter ] this family is amazing. the way they all chip in, each one has a speciality. barron does crypto. ivanka does fashion. don jr. handles the campaign and eric eats elmer's glue. [ laughter ] they're all so talented. don jr. spoke during the announcement last night, even though he's been very busy. the fraudigal son was photographed at a bar in palm beach, canoodling with a woman who is not his fiancee. djtj is engaged to kimberly guilfoyle -- but i guess the orange doesn't fall far from the tree. [ laughter ] because this is don jr. having lunch with a socialite named bettina anderson. you can see their sexual chemistry is -- [ laughter ] i mean, look at how she scrolls through her phone while he uses two hands to squeeze a lemon in his iced tea. [ laughter ] it's almost pornographic. and who can blame a lady for being hot for a guy like that? the way he wears his sunglasses on his hat?
11:44 pm
that chin? it's like michelangelo himself carved him out of pudding. [ laughter ] of course, any -- these stories about them kissing at the table are rumors and nothing more than rumors. and he doesn't need to be bothered with this stuff, he has important things to worry about. like blaming democrats for the attempts on his father's life. >> the media and political left must immediately stop their dangerous rhetoric of blaming president trump for the assassination attempt on his own life. that's not what's happening at all. every notable democrat out there is doing this on a daily basis. they've done it for years. that's why some of these morons and low-lives get radicalized. they think it's their permission slip to go and kill someone who's literally worse than hitler, someone who's the greatest threat to democracy ever, someone who's going to stay in power forever. even though he left last time. i mean, minor details like that.
11:45 pm
>> jimmy: yeah, minor details like that. [ laughter ] i don't know. sounds like someone did an extra bump of starbucks this morning. [ laughter and applause ] i mean, he is wild. i don't know if you noticed, but his use of the air quotes lately is off the charts. >> there's less of that traditional, you know, sunday paper that everyone kind of used to read. so the number of reported crimes are down. my dad needs to be eliminated. and these are the same people lecturing us about civility. remember civility? nbc news called it a golf club incident. someone who's the greatest threat to democracy ever. someone who's going to stay in power forever. someone who's literally worse than hitler. >> jimmy: those aren't just air quotes. those are his two best friends. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] daddy donald has been caught in the rumor windmill, too. there has been much speculation about the nature of his relationship with frequent travel companion, a q-caliber
11:46 pm
loon named laura loomer who wants to make it very clear, that she is not a concubine to donald trump! >> as kamala harris likes to say, they ain't like us. right? she ain't like me. i ain't like her. i don't suck [ bleep ] to get to the top. that's what kamala harris does. >> jimmy: i guess those are the traditional conservative family values we hear about so mitch. [ laughter ] crazy as this laura loomer is, trump and j.d. vance, they are staying on top of nutjob mountain with this nonsense about haitians in ohio eating pets. they have now repeated this lie so much, a lot of their supporters think it's true. they did a poll. yougov found that more than half trump voters believe the pet-eating story is definitely or probably true. [ laughter ] which makes me wonder about the other half. [ laughter ] the half of trump voters who don't believe it. they're still vote fog him? how can that be? i will tell you with certainty that if kamala harris told me mexicans were eating
11:47 pm
condominium chimpanzees, she would not get my vote. [ laughter ] but trump -- he's now blaming these people for eating every animal on the farm. ♪ old mcdonald had a farm ♪ ♪ bing bing bong bong bing ♪ ♪ on that farm they're eating cats ♪ ♪ bing bing bong bong bing ♪ ♪ but a -- here -- everywhere bing bing ♪ ♪ old macdonald ate the pets ♪ ♪ and a big fat pig ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very talented. today was the 13th and possibly final national voter registration day. there was a poll done by american university, said 83% of young adults are worried about the state of our democracy. but only about two-thirds of americans voted in the last presidential election. it's so important to register to vote, and to vote. it's easy to do. guillermo, are you registered? >> guillermo: yes, of course. >> jimmy: when did you do it?
11:48 pm
>> guillermo: i do it maybe a couple of months ago. >> jimmy: okay. that's a person who's lying to us right now. [ laughter ] quick show of hands. is anyone here not registered to vote? okay, you, all right. what's your name? >> bella. >> jimmy: bella, why are you not registered to vote in the election's 48 days away. >> i just turned of age. >> jimmy: oh, you did? >> yeah. >> jimmy: when was your birthday? >> uh -- i'm 19. [ laughter ] so i guess i've had some time. >> jimmy: okay, well, if you're here, you obviously have free time. [ laughter ] what needs to happen? are you waiting for oprah to walk out and give you a formal invitation? what is it that you need? do you need oprah to come out here? >> i think this tonight. >> did somebody say oprah? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
11:49 pm
>> jimmy: thank you for coming, oprah. as you know well, it's national voter registration day. >> yes. >> jimmy: this young lady has not registered to vote. >> i'm convinced. [ laughter ] >> let me just say, registering to vote is so easy. just go to i amavoter.com. put in your information. and this is such an important election. you do know that, right? you do. [ laughter ] it's an important election. and everybody needs to participate. >> jimmy: that's right. >> and so 19? it's time. you've stepped into this powerful privilege of voting. here's your opportunity, okay? >> thank you, oprah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: go back to your seat and register to vote. >> sign up. >> jimmy: thank you, oprah. >> thank you. >> jimmy: oh, i forgot. i have a sticker for you afterwards that says "i met
11:50 pm
oprah" on it, okay? watch oprah's live youtube streaming event "unite for america" this thursday at 8:00 eastern. you will remind everybody of their duty, which is to register -- >> their duty, their privilege, their power to register to vote, and talking about all things that are important to us in this country. that's on thursday night. >> jimmy: thank you, oprah. oprah winfrey, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with george clooney.
11:51 pm
11:52 pm
11:53 pm
11:54 pm
[ cheers and applause ] snoeth ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: all right, good, all right. we're doing something good. tonight, a very funny person you know from "it's always sunny in
11:55 pm
philadelphia" and "hacks." now she has her own new show, it's called "high potential." caitlin olson is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] then later, a grammy-winning band. they've sold more than 30 million albums. their latest is called "aghori mhori mei." the smashing pumpkins from the snapdragon outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night - we'll be joined by jon hamm and maisy stella - with music from glass animals. so join us for that. it's not easy to follow oprah but if anyone can do it, it is our first guest tonight. he's a bona fide american treasure whom you can see alongside another sexy man that's alive, brad pitt, in the new action-comedy "wolfs." it opens in select theaters friday and streams on apple tv plus starting september 27th -- please welcome george clooney! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
11:56 pm
>> jimmy: wow. >> wow. >> jimmy: you and oprah in one night. >> oprah's here, you know that. >> jimmy: i did. did you speak to oprah? >> yes, i spoke to oprah. >> jimmy: would you say oprah is a friend? >> yes. >> jimmy: you talk regularly? >> we do a lot of snowboarding together. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that would be fun too see. >> i would like to see that. >> jimmy: especially in summertime. >> yeah. >> jimmy: have you ever talked to oprah about politics and said, "you should run for president"? >> sure. >> jimmy: a lot of people say to this to have you. >> no, no, she should. >> jimmy: she would win immediately. >> yes, she would. >> jimmy: in a big way. >> she would win? why have you ever encouraged her to do that? >> i just did. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys were on the cover of "vanity fair" together.
11:57 pm
were you together or pieced together? kind of looks like oprah's trying to talk to you, and you're watching tv. [ laughter ] >> yeah, that was -- we were not in the same hemisphere when thieves taken, isn't that weird? >> jimmy: that is weird. all right, i want about the big thing. you know, as everyone knows in july you wrote an op-ed in "the new york times" -- >> oh, goog to get right into that. [ laughter ] "we have time for one more question." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really, it may well have, did, actually, change the world. i mean, it had an enormous impact on the presidential election. right? >> no -- i don't know that that's true. >> jimmy: i do. [ laughter ] >> there was an awful lot of -- listen, bottom line. >> jimmy: let's get right to the bottom line. >> okay, the bottom line is that -- that it's very hard to let go of power. and president biden did something really extraordinary. really extraordinary. [ cheers and applause ] so honestly, i really do think
11:58 pm
that that's what should be focused on, really. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, and yet it was a risky move. because had he not decided to step aside, it would probably have damaged him. i mean, having one of his great supporters -- >> what are you getting at? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm getting at, you took a big swing, and thank god you hit that ball out. [ laughter ] >> it could have gone very badly. >> jimmy: it could have gone very, very badly. >> it's still going badly. >> jimmy: i don't know, seems to be going pretty well right now. have you thought about, if donald trump wins, have you thought about the possibility he might use the power of the federal government against you personally? >> yeah, i have. but i just -- i'm confident in the fact that he's coming after you first. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that makes you feel better? >> yeah. you know that theory about, you don't have to be faster than the bear, just have to be faster than the one kid. [ laughter ] you're that one kid, pal. >> jimmy: i'm the kid. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm the slow boy.
11:59 pm
>> right. [ applause ] >> jimmy: trump is a big fan of yours. i don't know if you've seen this. he posted in july, "so now fake movie actor george clooney --" [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: he doesn't know movies are fake? >> i don't think so. >> jimmy: getting into the act, he's turned on crooked joe like the rats they both are. what does clooney know in big? says the host of "celebrity apprentice." [ laughter ] colony should get out of politics and go back to television. movies never really worked for him. >> i will if he does. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's a tradeoff i'd do. >> jimmy: have you thought about writing an op-ed in the "times" asking him to step down it? worked once, why not try it again? [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, he's a big fan of mine. >> jimmy: i know you're making your broadway debut. which i found kind of crazy that you'd never -- >> pretty stupid. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you've never been on broadway?
12:00 am
>> no, i did a -- one play -- i've done a lot of plays in l.a., but i did one play at steppenwolf about 30 years ago. it's been a long time. i'm a wreck. i'm a nervous wreck. >> jimmy: are you? >> sure. i mean, it's -- it's a very intimidating world. >> jimmy: did you feel like this is something you need to check off, you know? >> did you say chekhov? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes. >> no, i -- look. i wrote the screenplay for "good night and good luck." we thought it was a good time to start hearing those words again from murrow. we thought a play it would be a good place to do it. as time went on, it felt like neighbor i should do it. i have to say, i'm terrified and -- it's exciting. you know, we're going to live in new york for a while, try to not destroy broadway along the way. >> jimmy: how long will you ob broadway? >> nine years, they tell me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? >> it's longer than i thought the run normally is. >> jimmy: playing edward r.
12:01 am
murrow. do you think they'll ever do one of these about sean hannity? this seems like -- you know, our news anchors have really taken a -- >> could be. who'd play sean hannity? maybe you should do it. i just saw your acting just now. >> jimmy: yes, thank you for including me. [ laughter ] >> did you guys like his acting? [ cheers and applause ] i feel like, you know -- when you finally finish doing this is you're going to be -- >> jimmy: i feel stupid a lot of the time. like, most every day, at some point during the day. but i haven't felt much stupider than i did its sitting there acting with you and brad pitt today. [ laughter ] that was the height of stupid for the day for me today. >> exactly. >> jimmy: it was -- yeah, it was fun. well, i want to talk about this movie. i really enjoy it. we're going to come back. let's take a break. we'll talk about that. we'll talk about your relationship with brad -- >> okay, this is going to get weird. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: george clooney is here. his movie is called "wolfs." we'll be right back.
12:02 am
crohn's symptoms kept me out of the picture. with skyrizi, feel significant symptom relief at 4 weeks. many people were in remission at 12 weeks, 1 year, and even at 2 years. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine or plan to. liver problems may occur in crohn's disease. ask your gastroenterologist about skyrizi. ♪ control is everything to me ♪ abbvie could help you save. why choose a mobile network ♪ control is everything to me ♪ built for places you'll probably never be... ...instead of for where you are most of the time? xfinity mobile was designed for where you need it most. xfinity internet customers, ask how to get a free 5g phone and a second unlimited line free for a year.
12:03 am
if whisky could talk, johnnie walker black label would sing. with notes of sweet smooth toffee, rich fruit, and a touch of smoke. tastes as good as it sounds. (♪)
12:04 am
12:05 am
grow the system, exploit the system. take mark farrell's record. after receiving the largest ethics fine in city history for breaking campaign laws. mark authorized a commission almost every year he was in office. he was even caught taking donations from people he would then appoint to commissions, including a felon convicted of bribery. san francisco's challenges demand urgency,
12:06 am
not more of the same failed insiders. it wasn't my fault, i didn't do anything -- >> none of that matters. it doesn't matter, okay? >> no, no, you listen to me. you need to know this. i didn't do anything. >> if you were here right now, where would you be? >> what, what do you mean? >> if this was a normal night and you weren't in a $10,000 penthouse, where you with a dead prostitute face-down, with broken glass, where would you be? >> he was not a prostitute. [ cheers and applause ]
12:07 am
>> jimmy: we're back with george clooney. "wolfs" stars george, stars brad pitt. i really like that. i wish i could have been in that. i wish we'd had that acting experience together so you would have asked me to be in the film. >> maybe we should have done this earlier. >> jimmy: i'm sure your buddy richard kind is in the movie. >> we have to hire him as much as possible. he has pictures of me with a goat or something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you like working with your friends. >> it's nice. >> jimmy: you're you, you get to make decisions like that. >> i'm a huge star, dude. [ cheers ] you know, they let you do it. >> jimmy: you -- i got that, by the way. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you did -- did the director hire you and brad is like a team, or did he have to go to you separately? how does that work? >> he sent the script to both of us. didn't tell us which part. i read it, brad read it. "this looks great, this looks like a blast." we love the director. then i called john, the director, and i said, "i'm in."
12:08 am
then i said, "but you're going to have trouble with brad." and i really made him go through the pitch with me. i made him work on it. "tell me how you're going to say it. don't do that." i really just scared the absolute [ bleep ] out of him. >> jimmy: was he actually nervous? >> yeah, he said hi didn't sleep all night before he called brad. [ audience: moaning ] oh, come on. he's getting paid a lot of money. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: then this poor man, who has not slept all night, has a meeting with brad pitt. >> yeah, and brad's like "i'm in." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did he know that it was you? >> no, not yet. not yet. i let those things -- >> jimmy: he was probably so happy that he didn't think about it, now maybe he's thinking about it. >> funny, i was telling you earlier, i was cleaning out my closet at my house. i found a box of my william jefferson clinton stationery that you sent me with the
12:09 am
gold-embossed seal of the -- presidential seal. >> jimmy: that's right. [ laughter ] >> that i've been sending to people as president. >> jimmy: to explain, as a gift to you, once -- i had received a letter from president clinton. >> yes. >> jimmy: and i had that stationery duplicated. >> yes. >> jimmy: i'm not sure if that's a crime. >> it as crime. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but i -- >> after november, we'll see. >> jimmy: i had it duplicated at great expense. i gave to it you because i knew it would be in good hands and that you would have a lot of fun with it. >> so every actor i know, i've sent a letter from bill clinton. [ laughter ] i try to find their worst film. "oh, i was on the plane, i saw --" you know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i gave you stationery that said brad pitt's name on it. >> yeah, you did. >> jimmy: some of your friends. brad pitt, richard kind -- >> the brad pitt one was brutal. >> jimmy: what did you do? >> i sent to it everybody. don cheadle. tom cruise.
12:10 am
saying that they want to do, you know, "interview 2" but brad wants to play lestat. [ laughter ] i sent to it meryl streep with a box of cds for die electricity. [ laughter ] "this guy helped me with my accent in troy, i think it could really help you." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: brad this afternoon said that tom called him and said, "yeah, it's cool, you can play lestat, that's fine, i'm okay with that." and he's like," what are you talking about?" go they immediately know you must be -- >> there's usually some guess involved with me, yeah. usually somehow they figured it out. >> jimmy: do you ever get blamed for things you didn't do? >> no. but i will say this. once you've done really dastardly, long-running things, then it's like having the nuclear weapons. everyone's so terrified. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know this. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. i found this, too. >> somebody called richard kind and they wanted to do -- like it was "punk'd" or one of those
12:11 am
dumb-ass shows. they wanted to punk me. they called all my friends, like "no!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the director, john, said that when you were shooting the film, you and brad, when he would be looking for you, you'd often be found looking at funny videos on your phones? >> yes. >> jimmy: what kind of videos were you and brad pitt looking at? >> mostly looking at your monologues. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, really. >> i got paid to say that. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] by we watched them and we laughed. >> jimmy: true or not, we'll take it. >> it is true. >> jimmy: that thing with biden, one of your best pranks ever. [ laughter ] >> you should have seen the stationery i put it on. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: george clooney, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "wolfs" is in theaters, select theaters friday. you can see it globally on apple tv plus starting september 27th. we will be right back with kaitlin olson!
12:12 am
12:13 am
(gentle ambient music) - design a training program. - guys, let's do some trivia. - oh yes, let's do it. - i'm gonna win. - how should i plant this if my garden doesn't receive direct sunlight? hmm. - i was right! - good job. - next question. - it starts with an empty prompt, and the most advanced ai at your fingertips. (bright music) whoa! how'd you get your teeth so white? you gotta use the right toothpaste! dr. c?! ♪ not all toothpastes whiten the same. crest 3d white removes 100% more stains for a noticeably whiter smile. new personal best.
12:14 am
crest. ah mornings! the golden hour of cold and flu symptoms! i'm feeling better. cough? congestion? all in one and done with mucinex kickstart. aaaaaaaaaaaaa- hated that. headache? better. aaaaaaaaaaaaa- fever? body pain? better now. aaaaaaaaaaaaa- mucinex kickstart gives all-in-one and done relief with a morning jolt of instant cooling sensation. it's not cold and flu season. it's comeback season. why is special k so special? the multigrain flakes? oh wait i see, it's the real fruit. oh wait wait, can you go back to the berries? mmhmm. special k. special for a reason. hey, get your head in the game, son. the scout from football college is up in the stands. maybe i'd rather go to school for insurance. i didn't raise no insurance man. but you did, dad. football's your passion. but mine is providing around-the-clock protection
12:15 am
to progressive customers who bundle home and auto. jamie, we need you out here for football. you're giving up on your dream, james. no, dad. i'm giving up on yours. no, james, wait! oh, that's not the exit. looking for a reason to try the new $5 meal deal at mcdonalds? here's one, two, three, four and the price makes 5. that's everything you get with the new $5 meal deal at mcdonald's. how am i going to find a doctor when i'm hallucinating? what about zocdoc? so many options. yeah, and dr. xichun even takes your sketchy insurance. xi-chun, xi-chun, xi-chun! you've got more options than you know. book now. thursday night football on prime. it's on. the new england patriots take on the new york jets, as thursday night football is on. stream thursday night football.
12:16 am
only on prime. and this is not a real company, there is no way to fake how upwork can help your business. upwork is half the cost of our old recruiter and they have top-tier talent and everything from pr to project management because this is how we work now.
12:17 am
>> lou: this week on "jimmy kimmel live" --
12:18 am
time to press rewind with... neutrogena rapid wrinkle repair. it has derm-proven retinol... ...expertly formulated... ...to target skin cell turnover... ...and fights not one—but 5 signs of aging. with visible results... ...in just one week. neutrogena looking for a reason to try the new $5 meal deal at mcdonalds? here's one, two, three, four and the price makes 5. that's everything you get with the new $5 meal deal at mcdonald's. class dismissed. wit don't sit in coursesl you've already taken. class dismissed. at university of phoenix,
12:19 am
could save time by transferring prior eligible college credits. plus there's a transfer scholarship that could help you save money. earn your degree at university of phoenix. (♪) (♪) bounce back fast from heartburn with tums gummy bites, and love food back. (♪) five, six, seven, eight! [ “hot to go!” by chappell roan begins ] [ paws patter and dogs bark ] [ cat purrs ] [ pig grunts ] [ checkout scanner beeps ] [ cat meows ] the cuddle collab. for pets and the people who love them. drops september 21st. only at target. (thumping noise) (metal clinks on glass) (thumping noise) alright drinks are up!
12:20 am
come on! (upbeat music) (♪) (♪) welp the gang's all here, let's hit the road. it's the disney+ blockbuster offer! (gasp) that's right. (gasp) $1.99 a month for 3 months of disney+. that's a great idea. get the hottest shows. great... you can say that again. biggest movies. ready?! hit it! and most epic events. what happens next? for a limited time, get 3 months of disney+ for $1.99 a month. join me... with the disney+ blockbuster offer. i have moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. thanks to skyrizi, i'm on my way with clearer skin.
12:21 am
3 out of 4 people achieved 90% clearer skin at 4 months. and skyrizi is just 4 doses a year after 2 starter doses. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms had a vaccine, or plan to. nothing on my skin means everything! ask your dermatologist about skyrizi. learn how abbvie could help you save.
12:22 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. we have music from the smashing pumpkins on the way. you know our next guest from
12:23 am
"it's always sunny in philadelphia" and the emmy-winning best comedy "hacks." her new series is called "high potential." you can watch it tuesdays at 10:00 right here on abc. please welcome kaitlin olson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you look very beautiful. thank you for coming. >> thank you so much, jimmy. >> jimmy: very good to see you. i feel like i've seen you a lot lately. >> yeah, it's a little bit too much. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know you had a finger injury. >> i did. >> jimmy: i got a finger injury. >> david: you really? yours is not bandaged. mine is much more impressive. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i had a baddage all week last week, but it's mostly healed up now. i heal up quick. how did you get yours? >> i heal up quick, too. i chopped it pretty much off
12:24 am
while i was making dinner. first, i shut our entire production down with covid. instead of relaxing, i made dinner and chopped my finger off. >> jimmy: what were you making? >> something business lemoned. >> jimmy: right-handed or left-handed? >> i'm left-handed. it's just the pinky, who needs it? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that bandage is not low profile, that's a cartoon, that's ann an "ask me about my wound" bandage. [ laughter ] >> this looks like a club and i'm not pleased with it. >> jimmy: george clooney used to work on "e.r.," he could probably fix that for you. [ laughter ] >> bring him back out, i would really love to share the stage with him. >> jimmy: my wife molly and i, we saw you and rob at what they call the creative arts emmys, which is the emmys the weekend before the emmys. >> yes. >> jimmy: that no one actually watches. >> fake imhe's, yeah. >> jimmy: the fake imhe's. we were seated right near each other. and rob, and i feel like he didn't get any attention for that -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: he was a hero. >> i know what you're thinking of. we were sitting right in the
12:25 am
front row. right by the stairs where people walk up. and a gentleman started wobbling before he got to the stairs and fell down the stairs on his way up. and rob jumped out of his seat and helped him up. when he got to the top, the guy still wasn't okay, so rob walked him all the way out onto the stage to accept the emmy and stood there. >> jimmy: holding the guy. >> holding the guy the entire -- with his head down, like i'm not part of this. [ laughter ] holding him. then at the after party everybody was like, "so how is rob affiliated with >> jimmy: there were probably at least ten people on stage, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: they let rob hold -- >> nobody cared, yeah. >> jimmy: this is a guy they work with every day. >> they're like, "this guy, he does this all the time." [ laughter ] it was so weird. >> jimmy: rob's out there just kind of holding the guy, looking around, waiting for somebody to come grab him. >> i was just like -- is this going to end? are you going to stay up there the whole time? he stayed up there the whole
12:26 am
time. >> jimmy: rob was rewarded for his goodness. >> yes. >> jimmy: karmicly. he won a second emmy for "welcome to wrexham." [ cheers and applause ] >> yes. >> jimmy: so that was nice. nobody had to hold him up. >> no, nobody held him up, he was fine. >> jimmy: you were also nominated. >> i didn't win, ha ha ha! equally as fun. >> jimmy: what is the -- what's the dynamic like when you're going home, rob's got an emmy, then you don't? >> we haven't spoken for a week. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: does he try to tell you, "ah, it's not that big a deal"? >> yeah, we spent 17 years not winning emmys for "sunny" saying it's not a big deal. the energy shifted. he's like, "it's -- not a big deal." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you disagree? >> i disagree, now i do think it's a big deal, and i have something to prove. >> jimmy: you were nominated for "hacks." op which is a very funny show on
12:27 am
when you play, and this character name is especially interesting now, and i wonder if it was something you noticed when you started. >> it was delightful. >> jimmy: d.j. vance. >> d.j. vance. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: not to be confused with the man running for vice president whose name is j.d. vance. >> no, not at all to be confused. >> jimmy: do you have any a hint of kind of dyslexia or confusion, you might be confused. >> you might mistake them. that was a delightful day for me when that running mate was announced, yeah. i retweeted a picture of my character and her tagline. "what a [ bleep ]." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: uh-huh, yeah, yeah. >> which i thought was very appropriate. >> jimmy: you guys did -- you and rob were at the televised emmys. you did a -- you presented together. you did a bit that compared -- rob's part compared meryl streep to a jock strap.
12:28 am
>> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, do you know meryl streep? >> not at all. >> jimmy: before you do the bit comparing her to a jock strap, do you give her a heads-up? >> not at all. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you worried at all that she's not going to care for being compared to -- >> it crossed my mind but i was like, you know what, it's funny. then the most amazing thing happened. she was on camera and she just went -- [ laughter ] i thought, now i want to kiss her on the mouth. >> jimmy: you didn't bring the kids to the emmys? >> we didn't bring the kids to the emmys, no. they stayed with friends while we were out. >> jimmy: these are your boys? >> that's one of them, yeah. >> jimmy: oh. >> this one's mine on the left, that's his friend. he was at his friend's house. >> jimmy: he's at his friend's house. you took a picture of them raking leaves? >> here's what happened. i wasn't there. i got a text from this guy's mom saying, "the boys are out front raking the leaves, it's so sweet." and i was like, "oh, that's nice. and weird." [ laughter ] then five minutes later i got a text that just said, "oh."
12:29 am
with this picture. [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's my guy. [ laughter ] i've never been more proud. yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> raising him right. >> jimmy: all parts are right there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's more graphic than they usually are. >> i'm not sure what's going on here. maybe a severed finger situation. i don't know. >> jimmy: there's a jauntiness about it, but i understand what they were going for there, i really do. >> yeah, they're kids, you know. let them be creative. >> jimmy: your new show is "high potential." it premiered tonight on abc. welcome to the abc family. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: and this is a show which i thought was great. you play this character, this woman who's a cleaning lady. >> yeah. >> jimmy: who's very -- who's a genius. >> yes. >> jimmy: a very high iq. >> a very high iq. and she ends up knocking over a
12:30 am
bunch of evidence while she's cleaning up the precinct and notices they made a mistake, and the person they think is a suspect is actually a victim, and it all goes from there. she ends up working with the police and helping them solve crimes. >> jimmy: she's able to make connections that most people are not able to -- >> she's able to see things they're missing based on her -- just experience and just different thinking. yeah. and they make a -- >> jimmy: in the episode, shouldn't that all churches face east. >> did you know that? >> jimmy: is that true? >> it's true. >> jimmy: all churches face east? >> or -- i don't know, ask my writers. [ laughter ] i'm, with conviction, saying it's true. >> jimmy: you're saying you're not a genius? >> jimmy, how dare you. >> jimmy: i'm asking, i'm not presuming. >> i looked it up, and it's actually true. all churches face east. she explains why. the priests maybe thought they wanted the sun behind them to look very god-like. >> jimmy: your character has an iq of 160? >> yes. >> jimmy: and you? >> 27. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: have you had an iq test? >> no, no.
12:31 am
i -- in -- don't laugh, what are you laughing at? [ laughter ] no, in elementary school, my brother was tested. and has an incredibly high iq and was promptly put into the talented and gifted program. in the fourth grade, that's not a great thing. because you're just taken out of your classes, basically just to have like an arrow, "weirdo." >> jimmy: oh, really? >> well, yeah. they would eat lunch at a different time. they would have different classes. >> jimmy: there was a smart table at lunch? >> there was a smart table yeah. >> jimmy: interesting. >> the dumb kids felt better about themselves by looking down on the smart table. >> jimmy: i see. i see. but you were not in that group? >> i did get tested, and they were like, "you're good to stay in your normal class." [ laughter ] yeah, and that's all we have to really say about that. >> jimmy: congrats on the show. it's called "high potential." you can watch it tuesday nights, 10:00 right here on abc. kaitlin olson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with the smashing pumpkins!
12:32 am
>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by snapdragon, at the heart of the devices you love. grow the system, exploit the system. take mark farrell's record. after receiving the largest ethics fine in city history for breaking campaign laws. mark authorized a commission almost every year he was in office. he was even caught taking donations from people he would then appoint to commissions,
12:33 am
including a felon convicted of bribery. san francisco's challenges demand urgency, not more of the same failed insiders. sure, i'm a paid actor, and this is not a real company, but there is no way to fake how upwork can help your business. search talent all over the world with over 10,000 skills you may not have in house. more than 30% of the fortune 500 use upwork because this is how we work now.
12:34 am
>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by snapdragon, at the heart of the devices you love. >> jimmy: what a night. thanks to george clooney, brad pitt, kaitlin olson, oprah winfrey. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next but first, this is their album "aghori mhori mei" with the song "sighommi," the smashing pumpkins! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ nails to the quick daddy died
12:35 am
and liars lie a bit more than sick ♪ ♪ a dash in bittersweet what's that make of me save a lost thing ♪ ♪ no choice but a choice to leave can't you make me believe ♪ ♪ up where the others dare what chance have i what chances we would fight in love's affair ♪ ♪ swear mornings changed and i will lie where you lie say you're with shame ♪ ♪ then drop to your knees maybe then you'll feast what's worth sight ♪ ♪ you'll dream what i dream at night as one not one nor sum of hazy grace ♪
12:36 am
♪ as a janus exclaims don't you flee don't but stray far ♪ ♪ you can never leave this stage ♪ it's not just me it's about you here in heart for there's your need ♪ ♪ before one breath would right such harms you should know that you belong ♪ ♪ wherever you may toll no not here and not far though but next to me ♪ ♪ can't you make me believe
12:37 am
up where the others dare what chance have i ♪ ♪ what chances we would fight in love's affair come on atone ♪ ♪ let's run away come on atone let's run away ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] tonight, the explosive charges against sean diddy combs. >> a year ago, sean combs stood in times square and was handed a key to new york city. today, he's been indicted and will face justice in

125 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on