have a new way to show their license at security. you can now present your digital id on your iphone or apple watch instead of the physical card. our guide to digital ids is up for you on the top news sidebar at abc seven news.com. all right. thank you so much for watching. i'm ama daetz and i'm dan ashley for sandhya patel, larry beil. >> all of us. we appreciate your time right now on jimmy kimmel >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- kristen bell, peter krause, chris hemsworth, and music from hozier. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: very nice. cleto. guillermo, how are you? i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us at our headquarters here in hollywood. beautiful hollywood, california. the tmz tour bus capital of the world. [ laughter ] glad you're here. we're now 46 days away from donald trump claiming he won the election, whether he did or not. [ laughter ] kamala harris appears to have momentum. i think. the polls say she does. but they also say she doesn't. i don't know. a slate of new polls have been rolling out over the last few days. "the morning consult" says harris got a big bump from the debate, out to a six-point lead. whereas the "new york times"/siena college poll says she didn't get a big bump, and the race is tied. though that same poll says that while trump and harris are tied

nationally, she's up four points in pennsylvania, which is a key swing state that could decide the election. but there's bad news too, because "the washington post" says she and trump are tied in pennsylvania. [ laughter ] though another poll, from franklin and marshall college that came out today, has kamala up by three in pennsylvania. but emerson has her down by a point in pennsylvania. [ laughter ] in other words, none of these polls mean anything at all. [ cheers and applause ] these are -- they are meaningless, and yet we keep looking at them. they're like the kardashians in a lot of ways. [ laughter ] but i'll continue to keep you posted, as new totally pointless new polling data comes in. meanwhile, donald trump definitely seems to think the debate had a negative impact on his campaign, because he won't stop whining that, "a," he won it, and "b," it was rigged. [ laughter ] >> they didn't correction her once, and they corrected me, anything i said, practically. i think nine times or 11 times. and the audience was absolutely -- they went crazy.

>> jimmy: all right, now there are two problems with what he just said. first of all, the audience that went crazy? there was no audience. [ laughter ] [ applause ] the debate was held in an empty room. there was no audience. is he losing his mind, or is he lying so automatically he doesn't even know it anymore? at least in the past when he exaggerated the size of a crowd, there was a crowd. [ laughter ] there was no crowd. this crock about abc fact checking him nine or 11 times, they fact checked him four times. not nine, not 11. in 90 minutes, they fact checked him four times. once when he said "crime rates in america are through the roof." they are not. once when he said "there's tons of proof the election was stolen from him." it was not. the third time was when he said democrat governors want to legalize executing babies after they're born. that's nonsense. and the fourth fact-check came when he claimed haitians in ohio are sneaking into their neighbors' yards to eat their cats and dogs. [ laughter ] which never happened -- there's

not even the tiniest shred of evidence that that happened. and by the way, those weren't even fact checks. those were mental health welfare checks. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that was, "are you okay?" i mean, what should they have done, the moderators? nodded and shrugged? "i guess they're eating cats and dogs, if you say so." trumpy cat was in uniondale, new york, last night, where he bragged about calling his wife to brag about the size of his crowds. >> so i call up my wife. and i say, "baby, who could draw crowds, nobody can draw crowds like me, nobody." i'm the greatest of all time, maybe greater even than elvis, because elvis had a guitar, i don't have a guitar. elvis had a guitar. i don't have the privilege of a guitar. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "thanks to my tiny baby hands, i'm unable to play the guitar." [ laughter and applause ]

oh, and this is good. as disgraceland was boasting about having bigger crowds than elvis, people got bored and started walking out. of the arena. this is how his big rally wrapped up in uniondale. elvis hadn't left the building, but half the crowd had. [ laughter ] and of course, no trump rally would be complete without selling merch, which, in this case included a plug for his invisible wife melania's book. >> go out and get her book, she just wrote a book. i hope she said good things. i don't know. she just wrote a book called "melania." go out and buy it, it's great. if she says bad things about me, i'll call you all up and i'll say, "don't buy it, get rid of it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sounds like things are solid at home. [ laughter ] [ applause ] he said two times, he said he hasn't ready his wife's book, he's too busy.

not so busy he couldn't play golf on sunday, but very busy. and even though he hasn't read it, he knows it's great. unless it isn't, in which case, he will destroy her. [ laughter ] he lies about everything all the time. he couldn't tell one more lie about his wife's book? >> jimmy: read it, loved it." was that so difficult? [ laughter ] melania has emerged from hibernation to promote this book he didn't read, and she didn't write, over the past few weeks. she's been posting little videos narrating excerpts from the book and presenting us with riddles to unfold. >> why do i stand proudly behind my nude modeling work? >> jimmy: wait, who asked this question? [ laughter ] no one asked this question. you're answering a question no one has asked. >> why do i stand proudly behind my nude modeling work? are we no longer able to appreciate the beauty of the

human body? throughout history, master artists have revered the human shape, evoking profound emotions. we should honor our bodies and the timeless tradition of using art as a powerful means of self-expression. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: i couldn't agree more. why do i get the idea she wants us to look up her nude modeling work? melania was not at the big rally last night in new york, but you know who was? none other than recount dracula himself. >> god bless donald j. trump! his wonderful family! i pray to god that he keeps them alive. no more attacks! no more attacks! no more! stop it! if there's anybody behind it, i'll find them! i did it to the mafia, i can do it to them! if you're behind it, i'm looking at you, and i'm gonna get you!

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right, the guy who can't differentiate a four seasons from a dildo store is gonna find you. you've been warned. [ laughter and applause ] look out! the old man farting the national anthem with half a bottle of grecian formula running down his face is gonna getcha, okay? [ laughter ] and then we have one of the newer members of trump's wack pack, running mate j.d. vance. who was in raleigh, north carolina, yesterday, where he demonstrated once again what a clear and confident thinker he is. >> i see you've got my book there, ma'am, i appreciate it. available wherever bookstores are sold. so go out and get yourself a copy if you haven't yet. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, you got so close to completing a normal human sentence. trump and vance have continued to double down on this pet-eating story they made up. "the wall street journal" got in touch with one of the ohio

residents vance has been citing to keep this fairytale alive, a woman whose name is anna kilgore. this woman. she got the ball rolling when she filed a police report back in august claiming her cat, miss sassy, had been stolen by haitian immigrants. turned out, miss sassy -- which is also my nickname for j.d. vance -- [ laughter ] was in her basement. she found the cat a few days later, alive and un-devoured. to anna's credit, she told the truth, and she apologized to her haitian neighbors. she says she regrets the whole thing. but that hasn't stopped j.d. vance, who says he has no choice but to amplify these dangerous, racist, pet-eating lies, because they come from his constituents. which got me thinking. i have constituents. i think of those of you here in our audience as constituents. i don't know that it's anything to be proud of, but it means

that i am obligated to hear your stories and bring them to light if you choose to share them with me. do any of you have anything that you would like to report? is there any -- >> i have something. >> jimmy: ox, yes, hold on. grab my notebook. uh-huh? >> someone who lives across the street from my friend's cousin told me that j.d. vance snuck into her house and got his penis stuck in her sofabed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why would his penis be stuck in her sofabed? >> i guess he likes to [ bleep ] sofa beds? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, well, thank you for speaking out about this. [ laughter ] i am going to go ahead and write that down -- >> i have a report i'd like to make, please. >> jimmy: oh, yes, go ahead. >> i work at a big box furniture store in cincinnati. i prefer not to say which one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is it ikea, by any chance? >> so anyway -- [ laughter ]

a few days ago, senator vance came in just before closing, and he hid in one of those fake refrigerators we have in our kitchen displays. >> jimmy: okay, go on. >> okay. later that night, he crept out, and he had his way with a balkarp. >> jimmy: what's a balkarp? >> b-a-l-k-a-r-p. with an umlaut. it's a kind of sofa. he had sex with it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh my good, that's -- that's quite shocking. >> he also mounted a morabo. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is a morabo? >> m-o-r-a-b-o. with an umlaut. it's another kind of sofa. >> jimmy: all right, another kind of sofa, morambo, all right. >> and he was even seen fondling a kivik. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kivik?

>> yes, k-i-v-i-k, another sofa. [ laughter ] he's one sick son of a bitch. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god this guy really has the hots for couch-type furniture. it's quite shocking. >> guillermo: i want to to report something. >> jimmy: oh, yeah? what? >> guillermo: yes, i am one of your constituents. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: go ahead, yes? did j.d. vance have sex with your couch? >> guillermo: yes, he did. it was terrible. >> jimmy: he did? why was it terrible? >> guillermo: i was sleeping on the couch when he did it. [ laughter and applause. >> jimmy: oh, wow. my god. that's -- i'm not even going to write that down, because that is terrible, yeah. >> guillermo: yeah, we need to get a new couch. [ laughter ] >> i might be able to get you a deal on a slightly soiled balkarp. >> jimmy: could you spell that for him?

>>. >> jimmy: you guys should talk after the show. i think that will be a better plan. thank you very much. thank you for sharing, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] you know, there's unilunacy happening all over lately, but i believe the crown fill belongs to the sunshine state. a new edition of "this week in florida." >> this video shows 19-year-old edgewater mayor diesel depew dancing while sitting at a table. the person who recorded it gave us permission to use it and claims depew was underage drinking in a bar. >> i need alcohol! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, thank you for all that. that's what you get for electing a 19-year-old mayor named diesel. hey, we have a fun show for you tonight. kristen bell is here. [ cheers and applause ] peter krause is with us. and we've got music from hozier. [ cheers and applause ]

but first, from time to time we take a moment to focus on quandaries no one ever cares to ponder. and with that said, it's time for "three ridiculous questions with chris hemsworth." [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: what is the best australian insult? >> a bit of sarcasm, if you say to someone, "we're not here to boof huntsmans." huntsmans ar spider. boof is -- we're not here to boof huntsmans. >> jimmy: are there other spiders that get boofed? >> no, just huntsmans. >> jimmy: tough on the huntsman. >> tough, isn't it? >> jimmy: if you're in space looking down at the earth, how long do you think it would take

before you start to get bored? >> like -- i'm it in. you know, like -- another planet, maybe different. earth, i've seen it. >> jimmy: how many pillows is too many on the bed? >> um -- i was of the time -- >> jimmy: i do too, by the way. >> you should have the one to sleep with. one to cuddle. that's it. the dress pillows, is sort of ornament lows, what a waste of time. >> jimmy: i couldn't possibly ali more. no decorative pillows. >> no decorative pillows, a waste of time. >> jimmy: we should have gotten married. >> we should have. >> lou: captain morgan original spiced rum. the answer to all of life's ridiculous questions. [ cheers and applause ]

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. tonight, you can see him putting out pretend fires on "9-1-1." peter krause is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, a multiple platinum-selling artist. he's from ireland. his latest ep is called "unaired." hozier from the snapdragon stage. [ cheers and applause ] next week, we have new shows with some top-shelf guests including halle berry will be here, mike tyson will be here, sebastian stan, josh gad, joshua jackson, jack schlossberg, i hope i don't spit on him when i say it. [ laughter ] will reeve, and earvin "magic" johnson, with music from old dominion, myles smith, and los lonely boys will join us next week. [ cheers and applause ] so please join us for that. our first guest is a

multi-talent who could power a city with one strand of her dna. she has a new series called "nobody wants this" premieres on netflix a week from today. please welcome kristen bell. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ very good to see you. >> good to see you too. >> jimmy: you look great. >> why, thank you. >> jimmy: how's everything? >> everything's great, you know? >> jimmy: we have a weird relationship -- >> okay. >> jimmy: -- in that -- because i feel we see each other a lot over the summer. >> yeah. >> jimmy: then never at all the rest of the year. >> got to take a break. >> jimmy: yeah, this. it's almost the opposite of going to school with somebody. you know? >> oh, it is. you have a complete lapse from, like, september until june. and then we're hardcore in the summer. >> what was the highlight for you? >> the highlight for me -- this

year, i got to say -- so for those who don't know, it's a sort of family vacation in idaho. and normally it's pretty serene and there's a lot of fishing, but this year was kind of off the hook. there was a lot of dancing -- >> jimmy: you can't say off the look at a fishing-type situation. [ laughter ] that's bad news. >> sorry, sorry. >> jimmy: we're going to have to do some voodoo to remove that from our -- >> my favorite was the silent disco. >> jimmy: explain what the silent disco is. because it's a weird -- it's one of the strangest things you'll ever see. >> but i love it. i'll start by saying, i don't love live music. i love music, but listening to music with other people sometimes gets me overstill mated and i have to share in the energetic experience with those around me, and i'm not here for that. >> jimmy: okay. >> you put the headphones on, and you can choose your own station, and there's, like, early 2000s femme punk, then there's r&b, there's rap -- you can choose your own station, and you just kind of groove.

and i don't know how many people were there. >> jimmy: there's like 40 people dancing to three different music lists. >> it's awesome. >> jimmy: and you can't hear anything, it's totally silent. >> if you take yours off, you can hear everybody like -- ♪ dream weaver ♪ and you hear everybody screaming different music, it's pretty exceptional. >> jimmy: if you like me and don't dance and don't put the headphones on at all, it's a strange thing to sit and watch all these people -- >> you didn't participate? >> jimmy: no, because i run the equipment. [ laughter ] i'm very busy running the equipment. that's why i tell my wife. "i'm running the equipment." by the way, your husband, dax, danced a lot, which surprised me. >> i know. >> jimmy: so much so that he was wearing the headphones, and he sweated through the headphones to the extent where he said, "you're going to have to burn these." [ laughter ] "these are not good anymore." >> he danced so hard, his shirt fell off. he also thought he had to burn his shirt. he was completely saturated. to the point there was no

getting around the fact that he would have had to change his shirt. it would have been a cute "oh, your shirt's coming off." but it was people retreating from him on the dance floor. "why are you so wet?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys, as i recall, you left from that vacation -- >> molly! >> jimmy: you took your kids on another vacation. >> we did. >> jimmy: to -- where did you go, again? >> well, jimmy, we went to denmark, iceland, and norway. >> jimmy: the whitest people in the world. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: gather in that area. >> yep, yep. >> jimmy: how was that? >> spf 200. [ laughter ] denmark was the coolest because we had a first-time feerns are experience. so our kids are of similar ages. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> don't you find going on vacation as a parent, it's not a vacation, you're just watching your kids in a different city. >> jimmy: it's terrible. it's worse than being at home. >> truly, because they have none of their creature comforts. they're asking you a thousand more questions than they normally do. >> jimmy: they're in your room. >> oh, god.

[ laughter ] well, listen to this. the hack is we went to copenhagen. we stayed at this hotel that was right at tivoli gardens, which is like a seven-acre theme park which apparently is maybe where walt disney got the idea for disney disneyland. >> jimmy: it's an old one? >> it's an old one. the hotel opens up into the theme park. we were kind of like, are we going to free-range parent and roll the die here? we let them wake up, they woke up at 6:00 every morning. think scanned their bracelets to go outside. didn't see them for seven hours. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> just running around copenhagen. >> jimmy: and that was okay? >> apparently. they're both alive. [ laughter ] we all returned home. [ applause ] >> jimmy: they went on the rides and everything? >> all the rides. it was heaven. we just had coffee, we played spades. around 3:00 we'd be like, "anybody see them?" one of them would run up and need a band-aid or whatever. >> jimmy: they must have loved that. >> it was really cool. >> jimmy: you told me a very

good story and i said, please remember this for the next time you're on the show, about taking dax home for the first time to your family. >> yeah. yes. so -- dax visited my childhood bedroom for the first time. i don't know however many years ago. and he was walking around and kind of snooping. we had been together for maybe, like, a year or so. he opens the interior of my closet and pulls open the door and he's like, "whoa." let me also preface and color the story with the fact that i didn't go through puberty until i was 27. [ laughter ] okay? i was an incredibly late bloomer. so he opens the door to my closet, and he sees this huge antonio banderas poster. like a really sexy poster. and he was like, "huh." and i didn't think anything of it. it's been there for i don't know how many years. he's like, "this poster, huh?" "yeah."

"antonio b. in a speedo." "yeah. let's go." cut to a few years later. "i feel close enough to you to ask you a question, be honest with me. did you really like antonio banderas or did you just feel left behind and pick the first poster of a hot guy and put it up?" and i was like, "you have unraveled me." [ laughter ] because i didn't realize it until that moment. i had no sense of who i was at 14. and just wanted to catch up with all my girlfriends. i'm putting up these guys! >> jimmy: i'd like to imagine what a roller coaster this story is for antonio banderas. >> but there's more. he makes another appearance. cut two, i don't know, eight years ago, we had told this story to monica, who hosts dax's podcast with him.

she snuck into our bedroom on my birthday and hung another really sexy poster of tony b. above our bed. >> jimmy: is it still there? >> no, we have taken it down, but it was there for a good six months. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kristen bell. her new show is called "nobody wants this" on netflix. we'll be right back. let's hit the road. it's the disney+ blockbuster offer! [gasp] — that's right. — [gasp] $1.99 a month for 3 months of disney+. ♪ that's a great idea. get the hottest shows. — great... — you can say that again. biggest movies. ready?! hit it! and most epic events. what happens next? for a limited time, get 3 months of disney+ for $1.99 a month. join me... with the disney+ blockbuster offer. ♪ (music plays throughout) ♪ ♪ ♪ another round? i'm good. ♪ let's do a song ♪

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wait, was i supposed to bring that? then there's the forms. the bills. the 'not a bills.' the.... ”press 4 to repeat these options.” [chaotic music] [inspirational music] healthcare can get a whole lot easier when your medical records, care and coverage are in one place. at kaiser permanente, all of us work together for all that is you. does it feel good to say it out loud? >> yes, yes. sorry, i'm cute, i like when people notice. >> there you go. you are cute, i notice. >> thank you, see, i know.

>> you know what else feels good? to say something embarrassing the second you meet someone. i'll go first. oh, i had this clear mole removed from my face that no one ever noticed right here, and now the scar is i think way more noticeable than the clear mole ever was. i feel like it's all anyone's staring at. >> that's the first thing i noticed when you came in. >> is it gross? >> it's brutal, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's from "nobody wants this," the new show, which my wife and i watched last night and we enjoyed very much. you play a podcaster who deals with sex, a sex podcaster. >> or provocative, it's not just second, come on. she's very -- she lives outer loud, she's provocative, has no shame, wants everyone to be the same. >> jimmy: adam plays a rabbi, who you don't realize is a rabbi. you're at a party, you figure it out. there's a spark. >> we have some hot chemistry, and then as the show goes on, you kind of have this, like,

exploration into this very intimate relationship of the somewhat romeo and juliet. they want to be together, but the world does not want them to. and what does that look like in modern dating? >> jimmy: and now we know, yes. >> now we know. >> jimmy: it's like a and juliet, if you will. [ laughter ] perhaps this is part of what attracted you. your husband, dax, does a very popular podcast. >> i've heard. >> jimmy: does he have, like -- i know on your show, like, your character is careful about what she says about the rabbi. >> yeah. >> jimmy: is he careful about what he says. >> no. >> jimmy: no, not at all, yeah. i didn't they he was. does he ever say, "hey, is it okay if i talk about this or that?" >> i don't think so, no. >> jimmy: he doesn't. >> no, i guess there's sort of like an unspoken agreement of like, well, this is it. we got one ride on earth, you know? just live out loud. i don't know.

but i don't think he's ever crossed a line. but he definitely has told some embarrassing stories about both of us. >> jimmy: and you've done that about him as well? >> sure, sure. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so it all works out. and then you have this musical called "reefer madness." >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is something that -- it's playing here in l.a. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what theater is it at? >> the whitley theater. we renovated the whitley theater where "rock of ages" started. there's a lot of cool theater experiences in l.a. >> jimmy: you go back a long way with this particular -- >> big-time. i did it 25 years ago off broadway. the production started in l.a., moved off broadway, i joined the cast. the bummer is we were in pec, the highest point before you actually open the show of rehearsals, on september 11th. i was with this entire group of people on september 11th when that all went down. we were together two days, we became very close. the end of the story is they were the ones who convinced me to los angeles. i have a huge debt of gratitude

to everyone involved in "reefer madness." i would not have moved to l.a., i would not have met my husband, i would not have had my kids. and the show, spoiler alert, it's not actually about reefer. it's about misinformation. and it's about challenging authority. and so we figured it was about time, 25 years later, to revive that sentiment in the age of what can you trust? >> jimmy: you had to pinch-hit on this one, right? you had to step in? >> oh, god, yeah, and it was so exciting. the whole time i'm being a producer, but i'm really punish wishing i was in the show. although the cast is incredible, and the girl who plays my part, dar sia rose burns, could not be more perfect. six of our cast members got sick, it was only a cast of 12. "could you go on tomorrow night and learn the show?" there was one role we did not have on a thursday, and i was like, you got to prove it to yourself that you can do it, kristen. i learned it in like three hours, then performed on friday, saturday, sunday.

>> jimmy: was that tear tying? >> yes! >> jimmy: three hours? >> i kind of knew the music. >> jimmy: uh-huh? that's crazy. >> i just was winging everything else. it was awesome. it was awesome to just be thrown into that. >> jimmy: yeah, right, yeah. >> i'm just going to show up at a theater in hollywood tonight and fill in for someone. >> jimmy: and also hopefully a lot of the people saw what the title of the show was and they came high. [ laughter ] >> i think a lot of them are coming high, yes, i agree, i agree. >> jimmy: christen bell, everybody. "reefer madness" is playing here in l.a., and nobody wants this" premieres a week from tomorrow on netflix. thank you, kristen. we'll be back with peter krause!

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: music from hozier is on the way. our next guest is a real live minnesotan who you know from television shows galore. watch him on "9-1-1" season 8 starting next thursday night on abc. please say hello to peter krause. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing well, thank you.

it's like celebrity neighbor night. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i know that you lived, like butted up to kristen bell and her husband, dax shepard, for a long time, right? >> butted up is an interesting term. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: backyards adjoining? >> they have a shed that opens up to a road you can walk. so i entered their premises through the shed. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow, you had that kind of access? >> i had that kind of access, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know you like a neighbor when they enter through the shed. >> yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you -- is there anything you can share with us that we might not know about -- >> we did some movie nights. >> jimmy: -- america's couple? >> one memorable night with kristen was a comment she made watching "logan's run." old sci-fi movie with michael york. it's a scene where they get inside some sort of contraption, then you cut to a special effect of them traveling through these air tubes. it's clearly a roller coaster at some amusement park, maybe space mountain. kristen made the remark, "in the

future, we will all travel by roller coaster." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she might be right. >> may be. >> jimmy: i mentioned you're from minnesota. >> yeah. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: you know governor tim walz? like, are you still connected with what's going on there? >> i know what's going on. i don't know tim walz. we graduated around the same time. gustavus adolphus college in minnesota. >> jimmy: that's a real place? >> a lot of people think it's gus davis dolphins or -- >> jimmy: that would make more sense. [ laughter ] >> gustav adolph was the king of sweden, they latinized his name, and that's the name of the college. i'm mostly norwegian. >> jimmy: did they fund this college? >> the swedish immigrants in minnesota needed a college. >> jimmy: i see. >> a swedish one, a norwegian one. >> jimmy: what about the state fair? >> i used to work for the state

fair. it was the way to make a lot of money in two weeks. i worked at the fish and chips booth between the horse barn and the sheep barn. [ laughter ] lovely. that's where you want to get your fish and chips right there, i tell you. >> jimmy: what kind of fish were they frying up at the minnesota state fair? >> cod, fresh from the freezer. [ laughter ] met my first girlfriend there. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, gretchen, yeah. >> jimmy: wow, at the fish and chips place? >> frying the fish. >> jimmy: customer or co-worker? >> co-worker. >> jimmy: oh, wow. so you smell like fish together. >> hooking up the fish together, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "you smell like vinegar, were you at work, honey?" >> frying it up in the oil. >> jimmy: this is a photograph you brought from your home in the mountains. you do not live in l.a. anymore -- >> sometimes i do. >> jimmy: this is a -- >> yeah. so -- >> jimmy: this was taken on your ring cam? >> well, not a ring cam, but we had some motion wild liar cams out there. we had some evidence that mountain lions had taken residence under the deck. >> jimmy: and it would seem to have been proven true? >> yeah, yeah.

it was true. >> jimmy: and so you moved immediately, i assume? >> no, no. [ laughter ] i try to be responsible with the wildlife, so we actually boarded up the bottom of the deck to get them to move along. there's a highway not too far away, so when animals get hit, it's sort of like a buffet table. they track that, and there's also a river. so the elk and deer move along there. you've got to think like a mountain lion. >> jimmy: did boarding it up work? >> it has so far. they keep moving along. they come around every 10 to 14 days in the middle night. so i don't go out on the deck with a cheeseburger at 3:00 a.m. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i wouldn't even go out on the deck. >> yeah, exactly. but you take a lot of precautions. when we go hiking, my son and i, we take bear spray. we saw a bear and cubs this summer. >> does bear spray work on mountain lions? >> it would, yeah. >> jimmy: how do you know that? >> i haven't had the occasion, but it would stand to reason. >> jimmy: reason doesn't help you when there's a mountain lion. [ laughter ] oh, man. >> you've got to think quickly.

>> jimmy: yeah, i would -- a little too quickly. >> say, hold on a second, let me get my bear spray. >> jimmy: you play a fire captain on "9-1-1"? >> i do. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i think this is really funny. i don't know. i mean, is this like -- you guys think it's funny that you play now, you're a fire captain on this season, consulting on a tv show -- >> yes. >> jimmy: -- about firemen? >> yes. >> jimmy: so you're on a tv show about firemen, skulling a tv show about firemen. >> yes, it's very ironical. >> jimmy: very meta. >> as the kids say, meta. >> jimmy: that's right. >> i'm not the captain of the firehouse right now on the show, so i've been assigned to go be a consultant on a television series called "hotshots." the show within the show. i deal with a very involved actor. >> jimmy: do you have a guy on the set who is -- who has that actual job? >> we do, we have a former fire chief named mike bowman who

helps us with our own fire emergencies. i'm sort of playing him and not really n a way. >> jimmy: does mike think it's funny that you're playing a character based on his job now? >> he does, yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and i know you guys have been -- this is the eighth season. you've been on for quite some time now. >> yeah. >> jimmy: on abc for, what, two seasons? >> this is the second season at abc, because -- well, disney bought fox, and so -- >> jimmy: yes, that's why we bought fox is so we could have your show. [ laughter ] >> exactly. bob iger bought fox so he could have me back. >> jimmy: he wanted you back so badly. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but i think that -- well, i wanted to ask you -- first of all, i want to show a picture. this is you in front of -- as your character on "9-1-1." >> we were filming a scene where there's a downed power line. i noticed a house across the street. that is the "parenthood" house. >> jimmy: that is the "parenthood" house. [ cheers and applause ] >> so here's my pitch. >> jimmy: you guys can have this.

>> for free. >> jimmy: for free. so somebody is an arsonist, is burning down all the famous tv houses. >> uh-huh? >> jimmy: okay, like he's burning down, like, the house from "fresh prince." then the next one that gets burned down is "the golden girls" house. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you've got to figure it out and stop him before he burns down "the brady bunch" house. [ laughter ] >> right. >> jimmy: yeah? >> i'm into it. >> jimmy: okay. >> what about "the parenthood" house? would there be a meta thing where i'd be adam braverman inside the house and save myself? >> jimmy: i like the way you're thinking. [ laughter ] >> as bobby nash? >> jimmy: i like that a lot. >> that would be a weird scene to play. >> jimmy: it's good. take it back to the crew, see what they think. >> i will. >> jimmy: if they don't like it, you guys are going back to fox. [ laughter ] >> i don't think so. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. >> likewise. >> jimmy: the show is "9-1-1." it premieres thursday night, 8:00, right here on abc, everybody. peter krause. we'll be back with hozier!

>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by snapdragon. at the heart of the devices you love. grow the system, exploit the system. take mark farrell's record.

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>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by snapdragon, at the heart of the devices you love. >> jimmy: thanks to kristen bell and peter krause. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but his e scep "unaired" is out now. here with the song "nobody's soldier," hozier! ♪ ♪ ♪ running with bulls working my miracles ♪ ♪ holding my world together with a boot string ♪ ♪ living the dream benzos and gasoline ♪

♪ coffee and blue light screens till the morning ♪ ♪ if i tell you this is drowning ♪ ♪ you tell me i'm walking on water ♪ ♪ i could bring fire from the mountain ♪ ♪ you tell me it feels a little colder ♪ ♪ and i don't wanna ♪ ♪ choose between being a salesman or a soldier ♪ ♪ just let me look a little older ♪ ♪ let me step a little bolder ♪ ♪ choose between being a butcher or a pauper ♪ ♪ honey i'm taking no orders ♪ ♪ i'm gonna be nobody's soldier ♪ ♪

♪ sick to my skin watching the news again ♪ ♪ whatever you choose you lose out in the long run ♪ ♪ the paint on the walls come down like a waterfall ♪ ♪ the goal i was aiming for was the wrong one ♪ ♪ if i say that this is drowning ♪ ♪ you tell me i'm walking on water ♪ ♪ i could bring fire from the mountain ♪ ♪ you tell me it feels a little colder ♪ ♪ and i don't wanna ♪ ♪ choose between being a salesman or a soldier ♪ ♪ just let me look a little older ♪ ♪ let me step a little bolder ♪

♪ choose between being a butcher or a pauper ♪ ♪ honey i'm taking no orders ♪ ♪ i'm gonna be nobody's soldier ♪ ♪ ♪ nobody's soldier mmm being a butcher ♪ ♪ nobody's soldier or a pauper i'm ♪ ♪ nobody's soldier i'm gonna be nobody's soldier ♪ ♪ i don't wanna ♪ ♪ choose between being a salesman or a soldier ♪ ♪ just let me look a little older ♪ ♪ let me step a little bolder ♪ ♪ choose between being a butcher or a pauper ♪

♪ honey i'm taking no orders ♪ ♪ i'm gonna be nobody's soldier ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. >> tonight. killer mom susan smith has been arrested and will be charged with two counts of murder in connection with the deaths of her children. once called the most hated mom in america, susan smith might soon walk