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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  October 24, 2024 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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democratic vice presidential candidate candidate tim walz and judge appleton have a great night. >> lou: from hollywood -- it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- vice presidential candidate governor tim walz and judd apatow. with cleto and the cletones.
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and now, jimmy kimmel! [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. i appreciate that. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us in hollywood, where the stars are enshrined in cement. this is the place where the oscars are handed out, where the biggest names in show business are celebrated, names like elvis, madonna, sinatra, dave, buster, they're all out there. [ laughter ] for god's sake, guillermo is another name, biggest name of all. [ cheers and applause ] the biggest of the biggest stars come to hollywood, and yet rarely have i felt this filthy little town buzzing as it is tonight for an unassuming man from minnesota named tim. tim walz is here. [ cheers and applause ]
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if that wasn't enough, everyone in our audience is going home with a porkchop on a stick tonight. not only is governor walz here for an interview, he showed up two hours early to rake all the leaves off our porch. [ laughter ] you think donald trump ever handled a rake? not even in a sand trap. yesterday, trump took a break from again, bragging about how he liked to stiff workers out of overtime to launch his, i don't know, maybe 15th attack on me for making fun of him at the oscars. [ laughter ] out of nowhere, again, he wrote, "remember this?" yes, we do remember it. and you know why we remember it? you keep bringing it up! [ laughter ] that's why we remember it. he wrote "what a dope. his wife and agent begged him not to do it, and just before best picture award, yet. he suffers from trump derangement syndrome. all of this on top of really bad ratings for jimmy, just like
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failing bill maher and the two clowns on cbs and nbc! no talent equals bad ratings!!!" this is what he is stewing about on a sunday afternoon, 28 days before the election. he's still whining about a joke i made about him seven months ago. not even the winners of the oscars last year think about the oscars as much as donald trump does. [ laughter ] i swear, i hear from donald trump more than i hear from most of my uncles. [ laughter ] and the funniest part is trump thinks i don't like this. but i love this. [ laughter ] i want to know every tiny detail of the whole -- here's how i imagine it happens. he's sitting down for his fourth failed attempt at a bowel movement for the day. [ laughter ] and he's getting mad. thinking about margot robbie laughing at him. barbie chuckling in his orange face. and he wants to post the video of it, but he doesn't know how to do that. so he yells for his assistant. he screams through the door. "get me that clip of low-ratings
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jimmy kimmel making fun of me at the oscars!" [ laughter ] "but cut out the part where he makes fun of me at the oscars!" [ laughter ] and then he mashes out the message with the thumb knobs, flushes triumphantly, proudly emerges from the toilet. doesn't even think about washing those dirty, greedy little hands. [ laughter ] and then i get texted by people telling me. i wonder if he even remembers he's running for president? [ laughter ] he was -- not only was he all over the place this weekend, he was all over the place this weekend. >> i think, i think, i think, i'm always thinking. you ever do that? you're sweating and you're thinking and you're trying to figure out how to beat this one, that -- look, i think i just learned the secret. look, we'll have to -- look, they put an eighth -- an eighth of a pound -- transgender. evangelical, midwestern, midworsten. i mean, midwestern. you know --
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she worked at mcdonald's. you know, i call her lyin' kamala. i wear it. it's true. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's a very good lesson. fat albert einstein has a lot running through that stable genius head right now. [ laughter ] he was back in butler, pennsylvania, this weekend. the same spot where a gunman shot his ear. pennsylvania is probably the most important state. whoever wins pennsylvania will probably win the presidency. all these people come out to see him, and this is the story he shares. i want you to pay close attention to what he says here, because it says a lot. >> i had one about a month ago, a very, very rich guy. he said, can you do me a favor? i can't get into a restaurant, do you think you can call them in to get me? i called the maitre d'. i was a little embarrassed. "hi, this is donald trump." "i recognize your voice." "would you do me a favor? a friend of mine is online about a mile back."
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this is a very successful restaurant. "and he's got his wife." i described the wife. "could you possibly go get them? could you go get them and bring them in?" and he did. and my friend called me up the next day. he said thank you very much. thank you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. it's a nothing story, right? but in a way it's not a nothing story, because he just -- he just shared his plan for the country, to use his influence to get his rich friends to the front of the line, to cut in front of all the maga hats, all the flag shirts. [ cheers and applause ] and by the way, what a load of crap. could that possibly have happened? a month ago, he called the maitre d' at a restaurant to get his friend in, his rich friend. who this is rich friend who couldn't get into a restaurant and goes, i know who to call, donald trump. [ laughter ] he doesn't have anything to do. what an amazing and definitely 100% true story that was. [ laughter ] [ applause ] hey, speaking of rich friends -- gordon scamsey was joined on stage in pennsylvania by none
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other than elon musk. and say what you like about elon, the man is absolutely dripping with charisma. >> he created the first major american car company in generations, and his rocket company is the only reason we can now send american astronauts into space. come here. take over, elon, just take over. >> jimmy: wow. let's have another look at that. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] in slow motion, if we could. the way he jumps, it's so graceful. it's like being on the serengeti and seeing a gazelle in its natural habitat. [ laughter ] you know at the end of a comedy in the '80s, they do a freeze frame explaining what happened? that's that right there. [ laughter ] they're both so terrible, trump and -- twitterdee and twitterdum. [ laughter ] this photo tells you all you need to know. it's rare you get to see two devils make a deal with each other, but it does happen. [ laughter ] you know trump hates this guy.
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trump in the past called him a b.s. artist. he posted about musk visiting him in the oval office. he wrote, "when elon musk came to the white house asking me for help" i could have said 'drop to your knees and beg' and he would have done it." [ laughter ] elon in 2022 wrote "trump will be 82 at the end of the term, which is too old to be chief executive of anything, let alone the united states of america. i don't hate the man, but it's time for trump to hang up his hat and sail into the sunset." and now they're really good pals, isn't that something? elon bounding all over the same. [ laughter ] and trump showing he is a man of the people, specifically the village people. ♪ young man there's no need to feel down ♪ ♪ i said young man does it all by himself ♪ ♪ it's fun to stay at the ymca ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how is that his song? [ cheers and applause ] how can that be his song? and then things got dark.
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you know, a lot of the trumpers have been blaming democrats lately for the assassination attempts. they complain about people comparing trump to hitler even though his own running mate compared him to hitler. [ laughter ] the thing they seem to never remember when making this argument is the reason people compare trump to hitler is because he says stuff like this. >> he has no clue. how about allowing people to come to an open border, 13,000 of which were murderers, many of them murdered far more than one person. and they're now happily living in the united states. now a murderer, i believe this, it's in their genes. and we've got a lot of bad genes in our country right now. >> in fairness, it sound better in the original german. [ laughter ] if there's anyone who knows about bad genes, it is the guy who fathered don jr. and eric. [ laughter ] but what a sick, sick individual. [ applause ] trump was also in the swing state of wisconsin this week where -- [ cheers ]
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>> jimmy: i hope you're from wisconsin and that wasn't a medical event we witnessed. [ laughter ] anyway. trump was in wisconsin where he was descend upon by flies. >> and now they're building a coal plant -- oh, wait. i don't like flies. get out of here, fly. never been a big fan of flies. you don't mind my bringing that up, do you? anyway, this is a very aggressive sucker, this one. this one in particular is very aggressive. like i'm going to be aggressive for our country, you can probably say. >> jimmy: that was hell of a segue. i have to give him that. he's going to run the country like a fly. like an aggressive fly. he's always being swarmed by flies. maybe if you changed your diaper more often -- [ laughter and applause ] -- there wouldn't be so many flies. and when he's not attracting flies, he's lying.
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as a massive category 5 hurricane heads towards florida, trump has been spreading untruths about the biden response to the hurricane in north carolina that are so egregious, even their republican senator had to ask him to stop. but he wrote, "the great people of north carolina are being stood up by harris and biden who are giving almost all of the fema money to illegal immigrants in what is now considered to be the worst rescue operation in the history of the u.s." and of course, not only is none of that true, president biden hasn't taken any money from fema to use for immigration. but you know who did? do i even have to say? [ laughter ] that's right. in 2018, guess who moved $10 million from fema to immigration. and the next year, in the middle of hurricane season, he moved nearly $40 million to i.c.e. and then we have the other misleading meteorologist, marjorie taylor greene. [ laughter ] who is pushing a theory that democrats control storms. she wrote, "yes, they can control the weather. it's ridiculous to lie and say it can't be done." [ laughter ]
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listen, marjorie. if they could control the weather, they would have made sure a house landed directly on you, you demented wicked witch. [ cheers and applause ] marjorie is upset because a hurricane ripped the sleeves off all her shirts. [ laughter ] she posted a map she finds suspicious. it shows the path of hurricane helene laid over an electoral map which she says proves the government intentionally sent a hurricane to republican voting districts, which is mysterious. even more mysterious when you lay a map of bojangles cajun fried chicken restaurants over the hurricane map. [ laughter ] you can plainly see the biden crime family is using space lasers to direct the hurricanes to destroy president trump's beloved cajun fried chicken. [ laughter ] and there's more! how many letters are in helene? six. now watch what happens when you take the middle three letters in bojangles and add the number 6.
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[ applause ] and how do we know the jewish space lasers are responsible? because you can't spell the word bojangles without bagels. [ laughter ] you've done it again, marge. you've cracked this conspiracy wide open. tomorrow, at long last, is the official release of melania trump's new book. it's "melania." many interesting insights. for instance, she writes, "donald to this day called my personal doctor to check in on my health to ensure that i am okay and that they are taking perfect care of me." that's sweet. how adorably controlling. [ laughter ] she also calls his doctor to ask, "how much longer already?" [ laughter ] there are a lot of fun hipaa violations in her book, but the nugget that's getting the most attention is melania's stance on abortion, which she discussed over the weekend on fox news. >> i believe in individual freedom. i want to decide what i want to do with my body.
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i think i don't want government in my personal business. >> i'm kamala harris and i approve this message. [ laughter ] [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a heck of an endorsement. melania's book is number five on amazon right now. donald is selling sneakers and crypto and digital trading cards and coins and watches with his name on it. the trumps are making out like bandits on this election. no former president has ever been more industrious about fleecing his supporters than donald trump. but he is not the first president to do it. in fact, men cashing in is a tradition that goes back almost 200 years. >> my fellow americans, today i have something incredible to share. i herewith announce the launch of the lincoln coin. [ laughter ] it's a beautiful coin,
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handcrafted from the finest copper, a true symbol of our nation's greatness. guaranteed to increase in value. that i can tell you bigly. [ laughter ] these gorgeous pennies can be yours for a sum of only $19.99. [ laughter ] and if you buy three, we will include a bonus gift, a little piece of the stovepipe hat i wore in the lincoln-douglass debate wherewith i slaughtered stephen h. douglas whom i call sloppy steve because he is a corpulent pig. [ laughter ] speaking of pigs, why not purchase a rash of my new abra-ham? [ laughter ] everyone loves it, in the north, the south, the good people on both sides love abra-ham. they call me honest abe because i have all the finest products, like these, my patented emanci-pants. 100% machine-picked cotton short shorts, with the number 60 on
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the back in honor of your favorite president. they look great and gives one the feeling of leisure and freedom. but don't take it from me. take it from world-famous actor, and nothing else, john wilkes booth. >> sig semper stylish. >> thanks, jwb. as i always say -- ♪ if these pants don't make your day ♪ ♪ you can shoot me during a play ♪ >> seize the moment and get your lincoln coin, honeybaked abraham and emancipation pants today. order all three and receive a handsome four score and seven years ago tank top. >> i'm abolishing sleevery. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show for you tonight, judd apatow is here, and we'll be right back with governor tim walz! kept me out of the picture. with skyrizi,... ...feel significant symptom relief at 4 weeks. many people were in remission at 12 weeks, 1 year,... ...and even at 2 years.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. tonight, a very funny man. you can see him live in atlanta november 3rd and live at the new york comedy festival on november 9th. judd apatow is with us. [ cheers and applause ] we have quite a week this week. this week our guests include harrison ford, quinta brunson,
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henry winkler, jessica williams, chef evan funke and billy crystal. with music from carly pearce, suki waterhouse and the offspring. our first guest is running for vice president of the united states. in his spare time, he puts helmets on his gutters and listens to eight track tapes. he is here in california, and is all jacked up on diet mountain dew. from minnesota, please welcome america's sweetheart, governor tim walz. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> wow. >> jimmy: thank you for coming. it really is great to have you here. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i feel like you're a real person. i thought maybe our fantasies conjured you up. "we need a really nice man to come in and help us," and here you are. >> well. >> jimmy: can you really control the weather? and be honest with me. [ laughter ]
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i have a pickleball game this weekend. i would love if you could just dial it down a little bit. it's been a little hot here in los angeles. >> it never ends, does it? >> jimmy: no, it doesn't ever end. the election is four weeks from tomorrow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you know that. what are you thinking of today? what is on your mind today? >> yeah, well, good to see all of you here. [ cheering ] a little heavy today. i think most of us today have heavy heart today. it's the one-year anniversary of the hamas terrorist attack in israel. and i think for many of us, 1200 folks dead, 46 americans. and the vice president and i talking about making sure that it never happens again, that israel is secure and the hostages are brought home, and the humanitarian crisis in gaza ends. these are things that we all talk about. [ cheers and applause ] and bring that to an end. i had a chance to go through the nova exhibit here, which was the nova music festival.
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and a young woman named noa who was a survivor, walking through that, and thinking these are kids, the same age as my kids. i think for all of us -- the vice president is committed, committed to israel's security. but committed to bringing peace throughout the world. noa said, we just want to dance again. that's what we want to do. and i think that's the sentiment. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it must be -- i have been thinking about you a lot this weekend. i'm thinking it must be so strange to have been a social studies teacher and now to be in the middle of the very things that you were teaching. >> it's strange that jimmy kimmel thinks about me. [ laughter ] that is strange. yeah, it's different. >> jimmy: i wasn't great in social studies, i have to admit. what is one thing that you hope every adult remembers from their social studies class? is there something that, a key we've forgotten? >> that little "i'm just a bill sitting on capitol hill"? that is totally wrong, totally wrong. [ laughter ] no, i think about this and folks
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out there thinking about what those social studies teachers talked to you about, this idea, you all remember when it we grew up. this idea that we could have different ideas, but we have unity, love the democracy, have an election, and shake hands and admit the person who won, won. i think some of those things we all grew up with pretty common. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that seemed to be the biggest moment of the debate when you talked to j.d. vance and asked him, do you believe donald trump won the election, and he wouldn't answer. >> that should have been the lead, don't you think? 85 minutes before. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. it's crazy -- although you have to remember also, the last vice president who said he thought trump lost the election wound up being chased out of the capitol building. >> that's true. >> jimmy: it probably was -- >> self-preservation mode. yeah. it was very surreal to set there and listen to him. this is kind of the situation we're in. for me, being an eternal optimist, i supervised the high school lunchroom. you're either an optimist or you're dead. [ laughter ]
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and i loved it. but this idea that -- we get to turn the page on that, and i plan on waking up on november 6th with madam president. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i just want to be -- i want to be clear, you won't be waking up together. [ laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: unless you guys have gotten closer than we thought. [ laughter ] >> i have a problem about not being specific with my language. thank you for that. you're specifically right. >> jimmy: i do want to ask you about being the lunchroom supervisor. what does that entail? what are you watching for? >> well, it's preparation for congress, first of all. [ laughter ] but you're taking the tickets from the kids, and then you're just making sure that everything is okay. and this is no good deed goes unpunished. one of my first years in there i went over to the freshmen table. they're getting kind of loud. "fellows, calm down." i look over, the kid's got milk coming out of his mouth, kid's turning blue. i realized he's choking.
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i grabbed him and gave him the heimlich and popped the polish dog across the room. [ cheers and applause ] i got lunchroom duty every year after that. [ laughter ] that was what it was. >> jimmy: you were the football coach, the gay-straight alliance counselor. [ cheers and applause ] were you popular with the students? >> i think so. they picked me to be santa claus. i think it was looks. [ laughter ] so i was santa claus every year. seems like okay. >> jimmy: would you go to the prom and watch and make sure the kids weren't touching each other too much? >> my wife and i built the proms. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> you have to build the set. so if it's under the sea or whatever, you build an undersea set. and we did a night in paris, you build the eiffel tower. for me -- my wife says, nothing in moderation. she says you couldn't just go vote? then you have to run for congress and all this? [ laughter ] so we would build these elaborate proms.
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and the sets together. >> jimmy: that's so crazy. now you're in this position. i imagine for your wife, this must be something that you guys look at each other from time to time and go, how did this happen? >> yes. and she just shakes her head and says, it's just the way it goes with us, i guess. [ laughter ] we're both teachers. and you kind of throw yourselves into it. but i think vice president harris talks about it. it's the beauty of america. truly, where could a girl from oakland and middle-class family, a single mom and a kid from nebraska. and she says this to me. "and look, we're running for president and vice president." it's something. that's america, though. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how did it happen? because i feel like we're so desperate for great leaders, for people who seem to know what life is about and what is important. and you are not somebody that i was familiar with beforehand. >> meaning i don't know those things? >> jimmy: no, not at all. meaning you do know those things and we didn't know you.
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why didn't we know you? how did you get picked? do you know how it happened? >> well, i certainly said i never planned my life to be here. but i think my life prepared me well. i think the vice president was looking. i'm very proud of what we've done in minnesota. i ran and won a congressional seat in a very red district for 12 years. and then governor of minnesota. i think people watched. and we're doing things. i know the republicans say they're super radical. yeah, we feed our kids breakfast and lunch at school. it's a radical idea. [ cheers and applause ] and so i think she saw that, and i think the one thing, and it's kind of, as all of us know in life, some things just meant to be by fate or whatever. we get along really well. and she is amazing. she makes me laugh. and i think it's a good thing, by the way. i think a president should know how to laugh, not at someone, but laugh with things, or whatever. [ applause ] and i like that. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah -- >> you might have thoughts on that. >> jimmy: this guy who used to be president is a little sore
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with me for a joke i made. [ laughter ] that wouldn't bother you? you don't get bothered by people making fun, comedians on "saturday night live" or whatever? >> no, you started this. i taught school. i said, "if you're going to do profanity, spell it correctly." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think your school experience, it's so interesting because, you know, life is so much like school. >> yes. >> jimmy: in so many ways. even just talking about tickets from students at lunch. some of the students probably didn't have tickets. >> that's right. every teacher who has done that job had another account where they just paid for them. that's the way it worked. we made the case in minnesota, why should we go through that? we don't have the kids come in and say, have you paid the heat bill at the school today? we just got new carpet, where'd the money come from? you go to school, take care of them. when you do school meals, guess what? kids show up for school. they do better. you can't learn on an empty stomach. >> jimmy: you also have i think a very unique perspective on the
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school shootings and this horrible gun violence that is happening in our schools. during the debate, j.d. vance suggested that we have stronger windows and stronger doors. as a teacher, what do you think when you hear -- and what can we do about this? >> and their idea is to arm teachers. that is a very, very bad idea. teachers don't want it. [ applause ] i just, like the vice president, i simply refuse to accept. donald trump tells us to get over it. j.d. vance says this is a fact of life or whatever. and we have to get to a point. i'm a hunter. i'm a veteran. pleasant season opens this weekend, i'm excited about that. you can pass commonsense things, not infringe on the second amendment. but our first responsibility is those kids. less in any ning to them make these things up and pivot like it's a mental health issue. try to demonize people who have mental health problems, at the same time cutting funding for mental health care. we don't have to live this way. and i brought in there, and he batted it down, countries that have just as much gun ownership
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as us, but commonplace things in place, their children don't get shot in schools. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: governor tim walz is with us. we'll be right back. >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by kahi for deep hydration, powered by salmon dna. good to go unscripted. good to go on a whim. with cabenuva, there's no pausing for daily hiv pills. for adults who are undetectable, cabenuva is the only complete, long-acting hiv treatment you can get every other month. it's two injections from a healthcare provider. just 6 times a year. don't receive cabenuva if you're allergic to its ingredients, or if you're taking certain medicines, which may interact with cabenuva. serious side effects include allergic reactions, post-injection reactions, liver problems, and depression. if you have a rash and other allergic reaction symptoms, stop cabenuva and get medical help right away.
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that was the word of the day, weird, weird, weird. but we're not weird guys. we're very solid people. he's not weird and i'm not weird. i happen to be a very solid rock. we're not weird. we're the opposite of weird. they're weird.
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you know he said j.d. and i were weird. i think we're extremely normal people. like you. exactly like -- he's weird. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back with governor tim walz. kind of got the weird ball rolling, didn't you. >> if you have to tell people numerous times you're not weird, you might be weird. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i don't know. >> jimmy: you know what? i have a little quiz for you. help us decide what is weird and what is not weird. "weird are not weird." families wearing matching pajamas at christmas time. >> oh, not weird. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: not weird. wearing a shirt in the pool, weird or not weird? >> not weird. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: people who ask you to take your shoes off in the house, is that weird or not weird? >> no, not weird either. >> jimmy: okay, all right. tofurkey? >> oh, that's weird. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm going skip to the last one. a 60-year-old man drinking diet mountain dew. [ laughter ]
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>> that's just life right there. [ applause ] >> jimmy: this has got to be weird. bruce springsteen made a lengthy video endorsing you on friday. [ cheers and applause ] did you know he was doing that? >> no. no, no. those of you at 60-year-old, this is a high school kid who got the river and changed my life. it was a religious experience, bruce springsteen's "the river." >> jimmy: when you say a high school kid, you mean this high school kid? [ laughter and applause ] look at that corduroy suit. >> no, didn't know it. to have bruce say that and my daughter says, bruce springsteen knows your name. that was the strangest thing. >> jimmy: that's pretty crazy. have you not met bruce yet? >> i have not. >> jimmy: were you married in high school? what's going on here? [ laughter ] >> that is a class ring. >> jimmy: oh, all right. >> look at that hair, though. that's the thing i'm looking at. >> jimmy: that hair is
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spectacular. you are without a doubt the only vice presidential candidate in history for whom this would be an enticing way to raise funds. [ laughter ] >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: and people want your recipe. and have they been making your recipe? >> they have. we're raising money off that recipe. >> jimmy: i know that. >> a hot dish, all the food groups. tater tots, cream of mushroom soup, a protein, cheese. [ laughter ] spam is the protein that wins it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: when you got the call from the vice president asking you to be her running mate, is it true that you let it go to voice mail? >> yeah. in typical me fashion, i missed it. it was an unmarked number. so i'm thinking it's like a car warranty thing or whatever. [ laughter ] then i got a call from a high-ranking aide who said, pick up your dang phone. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they call you. they had your number. is she in your contacts now so that doesn't happen again? >> she is.
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she is indeed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: may i ask, how do you have the vice president listed in your contacts? >> my dry-cleaner. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is really? is that right? >> yes. >> jimmy: my dry-cleaner. >> i had to come up with something. it's all i could think of. >> jimmy: you're probably going to have to change it now. >> i know now. sorry. >> jimmy: what happens if your dry-cleaner needs to get in touch with you? you're not going to be -- >> i didn't think that far ahead. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your dry-cleaner can be madam vice president. >> that's it. >> jimmy: so you're on tour right now. you're talking to people. you're meeting people. you've been to l.a. before i assume? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you like it here? >> i do. i do like it. i defend california. i say it's beautiful out here. they always -- in minnesota, "oh, you're trying to turn minnesota into california." they never say it in february. [ laughter ] no one ever says it then. look, it's a beautiful state, and coming out here and seeing folks. >> jimmy: who is running minnesota while you're gone?
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is there -- a baby-sitter there? >> i'm still there. i stop in, and our team is there. i went back and did some interviews for judges, continued to hire judges in minnesota. folks who follow the rule of law. that's a good thing. >> jimmy: that would be nice, yeah. [ applause ] it's good to make it work. >> jimmy: well, it's great to have you here. i think i speak for a lot of people when i say we like you a lot. you're a very, very -- [ cheers and applause ] you seem like, to me -- honestly, and i can come up with no higher compliment than this, but you seem to me like the kind of guy who cleans the lint out of the dryer after every use. >> every use. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: governor tim walz, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with judd apatow! softlyblows] [coffee cherries dropping into basket] [smooth taps of flowing coffee cherries] [clicking of coffee beans falling] [soft crackling of roasting coffee beans] [ringing of coffee beans on metal] [low roar of churning coffee beans] [rattle of barista pouring coffee beans]
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: all right. hey, we are back. our next guest is a multitalented man. he is a writer, director, producer and standup comic too. you can see him live, with friends in atlanta and new york in november, please welcome judd apatow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: how you doing? look at you with your american flag pin. >> i took it off tim before he left. [ laughter ] i walked up to him. i wanted to meet him because it's so exciting. you always hope they kind of know who you are. >> jimmy: and? no? he didn't? [ laughter ] >> his person is like, "that's judd apatow." and he's like -- [ laughter ] "he did the 40-year-old virgin." >> jimmy: but he gave you the pin? >> i had to take it off of him while we were hugging. >> jimmy: i see. [ laughter ] you pulled a david blaine on him. >> i liked his picture from high school. i want to show you mine. >> jimmy: oh, that's your picture from high school. now, why do you have that so handy? [ laughter ] >> look at that. the middle part. that's a middle part. that's the move back then. >> jimmy: that's a pretty good -- i can see why you like showing that. it's a pretty good picture is what it is, isn't it? >> that's what i call my glory days. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were involved. you're pretty involved in
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politics, right? >> i mean, i have all these weird intersections in history. i'm very good friends with stormy daniels. >> jimmy: that's right. yes, yes. >> i produced the stormy daniels documentary on peacock. >> jimmy: and many of her early adult films? [ laughter ] >> well, oddly, she was in "the 40-year-old virgin." >> jimmy: right, yes. >> people don't always remember that. they always say "adult film star stormy daniels." they never say "star of the 40-year-old virgin stormy daniels." >> jimmy: you're right, that's got to be her biggest credit for sure, yeah. >> what happened was, we needed someone to be naked for a joke, okay? and my producer, shawna robertson, said to me do you want to do auditions? and i said, well, that seems like a terrible idea. [ laughter ] i saw the "me too" thing coming decades in advance. [ laughter ] i knew that you don't want to be a creep. you never want to be the guy trying to get anyone naked. you never want to be on the set going, "okay, let's do it again this time with your top off." [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: is that how -- is that typically -- and forgive me, but are auditions with the nude scene are done where the people will get naked? >> i just said no. i said no. and they were like no, you need to see it. it's going to be in your movie. and i said, well, what could be wrong with boobs? [ laughter ] i'm sure they look good. and they're like, well, what if they look weird? how do boobs look weird? well, what if one is longer than the other? and i was like, well -- i have a testicle that's longer than the other. [ laughter ] who i am to judge symmetry? but then -- >> jimmy: very anal people working with you, really. >> she does the movie. she is incredibly cool. super funny, super professional. and then we're doing "knocked up." and we needed someone to be naked as a stripper in "knocked up." you remember the scene where they go to vegas and the stripper -- dancer puts her butt on paul rudd's face. and seth goes, "now that's how you get pink eye." [ laughter ]
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so that was stormy daniels. but here's the thing. the day we shot it in 2006, she showed up at set, and she said, "i just had sex with donald trump." [ audience moaning ] i swear to god. at video village she told us. no one was surprised. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she came and said i just had sex with donald trump? >> so the whole time when it came out we were like, oh, we know it's true because she told us in 2006, before he was in politics. the only weird part is seth rogen wasn't in that trial as a witness. [ laughter ] i thought they'd go, "what is your name, sir?" "i'm seth rogen!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is like just an icebreaker for her, then, telling you -- >> it was a hilarious anecdote. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i see. this year is the 25th anniversary of "freaks and geeks" which is crazy. [ cheers and applause ] i know a lot of younger people are discovering the show because
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it's on hulu, which has to be -- i would imagine rewarding for you for a new generation to see it and like it. >> it's crazy that it just holds up. >> jimmy: yeah. >> paul feig always wanted to do a show about the time before cell phones. and now it's like before everything. back then we talked about before cell phones. and he want it to feel like something that was made in 1980. it still works for people. people watch it with their kids, which i like. so i've been going through a lot of the artifacts on the show. i found one of the censor notes. because they would give us notes about what you're allowed to do on tv back then. and that is the one i found which i thought was funny. >> jimmy: should i read this? >> read. >> jimmy: "page 24, scene 11. please take another pass at revising bill's touching story about the time when he, quote, tried to sneak out a fart but it came out a poop and i had to flush my undies down the toilet." [ laughter ] >> how does that show get canceled? it doesn't make any sense. [ laughter ]
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you know why we were canceled? we were up against "who wants to be a millionaire?" regis hosted it and it was giant. they started putting it on three nights a week, four nights a week and it would crush us. >> jimmy: there was no way to go. >> now you host it. in a way, i feel like you're the reason it was canceled. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: make no mistake, it was regis that crushed "freaks and weeks," not me. i had nothing to do with it. you're doing a couple of shows. you're doing one benefit show in atlanta. >> that's right. >> jimmy: it's for the hurricane victims. >> it's for the red cross on november 3rd in atlanta. [ cheers and applause ] and yeah, you can go to juddapatow.com/events. and then we're doing another show on the 9th at the beacon theater in new york. we're going to announce it. we're going give the money to north carolina, to the red cross there. >> jimmy: to the red cross there. [ cheers and applause ] we have a poster actually, i think. this is your poster. it feels like it needs some more dates added above your head, right? [ laughter ]
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>> that's the tour right there. that's the tour. >> jimmy: it's a very, very short tour. [ laughter ] who are the friends? can you say who the friends are? >> it's supposed to be very exciting to find out when you get there. >> jimmy: is it a cast of friends? when you say friends -- >> jeff foxworthy is going to do the one in atlanta. which is very exciting. >> jimmy: is he really? is he a friend? [ applause ] >> he is friend, absolutely. and ricky velez. >> jimmy: i didn't know. >> we'll keep announcing special friends. >> jimmy: one more thing because you know this is up my alley. this is a picture of you. how old you here? >> i'm 19. >> jimmy: 19 years old with larry bud mehlman. was he larry bud mehlman or deforrest at the time? >> i think you never pointed yourself out as a letterman nerd than with that sentence. >> jimmy: guillermo, do you know who this guy is? >> guillermo: no, jimmy. >> jimmy: you should study up on it. [ laughter ] you might not be here without this man. >> guillermo: oh, wow. i'm going go online and go check after. >> jimmy: what was going on here? >> that was the funniest student in america competition, the
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finals at mtv's spring break. >> jimmy: wow. >> look how happy i am to meet larry bud mehlman. >> jimmy: was larry a judge? >> larry was just roving. there must have been some appearance fee for larry to just -- >> jimmy: never mind how happy -- look how happy you both are. these are the two happiest people in the world. [ laughter ] >> i feel like it's all been downhill since this. >> jimmy: well, it's very good to see you. and you can see judd live, judd apatow and friends live in atlanta november 3rd at the beacon theater on november 9th. get tickets at juddapatow.com. thank you, judd. we'll be right back.
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>> jimmy: thanks to governor tim walz and judd apatow. thank you, judd. tomorrow night harrison ford will be with us. thanks for watching. apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next. good night, everybody. this is nightline. >> tonight are the menendez brothers closer to freedom

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