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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  October 29, 2024 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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for running a corrupt scheme to give political access to big money donors. but when it comes to fighting for us... low's missed nearly 1,000 votes... from affordable housing to climate change. evan low only serves himself. time. hugh grant's on jimmy kimm >> lou: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, hugh grant. aldis hodge. and music from dawes.
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with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming to the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. i appreciate it. we have a good show for you tonight. we have hugh grant, aldis hodge. we've got music from dawes tonight. but before we get to them and that we're going to do something different from what we usually do. tonight's monologue is for republicans. so if you have someone in your life who is either planning to vote for trump or thinking about it, i would like you to send this to a republican you love and respect with a request. ask them to watch this whole thing as a personal favor to you. and i promise i won't make you regret it because it's not going
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to be our usual roast of trump or some kind of liberal virtue signaling none of that. in fact i'm going to open with a joke about a democrat. president biden. remember him? the man who disappeared. [ laughter ] president biden was in delaware over the weekend where he went into a joseph a. bank, which is puzzling. why would he go into a joseph a. bank? well, turns out he was looking to deposit his social security check. [ laughter ] but they didn't have an atm. no atm. all right. so let's begin. well, first, for those of you who don't ever watch, i'm jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] maybe you remember me from "the man show." we had a pretty good relationship back then. the beer, the trampolines. good times, right? we had fun. [ laughter ] but now times are less fun. we're a week away from an election and we are very divided and not just because of donald trump. because of people like, if i'm being honest, me. i do a lot of mocking and belittling. and it isn't always productive. am i biased against donald
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trump? yes. do i think i have good reasons for being biased against him? yes. and i'm probably wrong but i think when you hear some of those reasons you might agree with me even just a little bit. now, i assume you're watching this because you care about the person who asked you to watch it or maybe you're just open-minded and not afraid to hear somebody who might not agree with you speak. either way, thank you for giving me 15 minutes of your life to talk about donald trump. maybe you love him and you'll vote for him no matter what he says or what he does. maybe you hate the other side so much you'll look past anything he says or does. or maybe there's a little voice in the back of your head saying, i might not want this guy driving the bus. and if you're one of those people who think democrats are controlling the weather or beyonce eats baby skin, forget it. this is not going to help at all. this is not for you. but what i'm asking you to hear isn't what i have to say. that doesn't matter. i want you to hear what he's saying. most americans, and you are probably one of them, don't have time to watch his rallies and his speeches and all the interviews because you have
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other things to do. but i don't have other things to do. [ laughter ] this is all i have to do. and because i don't have other things to do i've seen all or at least part of every interview, every speech, every all caps social media post from this man for the past nine years. and i'm not going to bore you with the old stuff. i'm not going to rehash the grab 'em by the [ bleep ] tape or the insults to john mccain or stormy daniels or the wall he didn't get mexico to pay for. i'm not even going to bring up the stuff that has been written about him, even though we've heard some disturbing things from a lot of people he hired to work for him. i'm only going to focus on words that came out of his mouth. because i think you might be surprised when you hear some of them. now, since day one trump has been telling us he's going to make america great again. since 2015 he's been saying he wants to abolish obamacare, he wants to replace it with something better. he says he has a plan. he says that over and over and over again. >> we have no choice but to
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absolutely repeal, replace obamacare. and we're going to come up with a much better plan. >> we're going to come up with a great, great health plan. >> and this is a great plan. >> wait till you see the plans we have coming out. literally over the next four weeks. >> we have a plan coming out, an additional plan coming out in a very period of time. >> we're going to have fantastic health care, and plan is coming out over the next four weeks. >> we're signing a health care plan within two weeks. >> nine years after you first started running do you have a plan and can you tell us what it is? >> obamacare was lousy health care. >> so just a yes or no, you still do not have a plan? >> i have concepts of a plan. >> we have a concept of a plan and it will be -- >> can you tell us what the plan is? >> we'll be announcing that in about two months. >> jimmy: in about two months. that was 2019. we still haven't seen a plan. if someone who works for you -- let's say it's your barber. promises to present you with a plan for trimming your hair over and over again for nine years and never does, you'd probably
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fire that person. you'd probably get a new barber because your hair would be down to your ass. [ laughter ] donald trump was president for four years. you would think that at this point he would have some answers, some kind of plans for simple questions about subjects like health care and child care. but every time they ask him one of these simple questions, like what actual steps are you going to take to lower the cost of child care, what's the plan, he doesn't even try to answer. he just tap-dances. >> can you commit to prioritizing legislation to make child care affordable? and if so what specific piece of legislation will you advance? >> well, i would do that. and we're sitting down -- you know, i was somebody -- we had senator marco rubio and my daughter, ivanka was so impactful on that issue. it's a very important issue. but i think when you talk about the kind of numbers that i'm talking about that -- because look, child care is child care. couldn't -- you know, it's
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something you have to have it. >> jimmy: child care is child care. you can't argue with that. he's like a child who didn't do his book report. [ laughter ] the only children whose care he seems to care about are the children who are being forcibly sex changed at school. now, i understand this is a tough subject for people to understand. but this alarm he keeps sounding about forced sex change operations, this is not happening. this is imaginary problem. but donald trump would like us to believe that our children's penises are in grave danger. >> your child goes to school and they don't even call you and they change the sex of your child. perform sex change operations and send them back home. >> make the boy into a girl and not tell the parents. >> your boy leaves to school, comes back a girl. >> it was a he and comes back a she. >> you say jimmy, i love you so much, go have a good day in
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school. and your son comes back with a brutal operation. >> and often without parental consent. can you even believe we're saying this? >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] none of us can believe you're saying this. public schools are not giving gender surgeries to children or any surgeries to children. and without the parents' permission? parents can't send their kids to school with peanut butter. [ laughter ] schools won't let our kids eat nuts. you think they're okay with cutting them off? [ laughter ] this is a lie. you have to know that. you do know this. this is not real. the president should be focused on things that are actually things. there are so many difficult problems that need to be solved. this guy, he can't stop talking about windmills. >> the windmills, they don't work. >> they're rusting and rotting. >> they're making a lot of noise. i can hear it from two miles away. >> they're destroying the country. if you want to see a lot of dead birds go to a windmill and just look underneath. you'll see birds all over the place. >> it looks like a bird cemetery. >> they're killing the bald eagle and other eagles. >> and then they kill all the
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whales, right? >> they're driving the whales i think a little batty. >> and they say the noise causes cancer. you tell me no. rarr, rarr. >> wah, wah, wah. >> the wind, the wind -- the wind is [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: the wind is bull [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] honestly. do you know anyone who speaks like that? do people you know who think the swind bull [ bleep ] are crazy people standing on a street corner yelling at cars. he's completely preoccupied with nonsense. i'd like you to close your eyes now and imagine you're at the dinner table on a sunday night. your grandpa's there. and grandpa's had a long day. started the day tweeting hate messages to taylor swift. he ended it dancing to the village people for 39 minutes. [ laughter ] you ask him to pass the green beans and grandpa launches into this. >> but if i'm sitting down and that boat's going down and i'm on top of a battery, and the water starts flooding in, i'm getting concerned. but then i look ten yards to my
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left and there's a shark over there. so i have a choice of electrocution or shark. you know what i'm going to take? electrocution. i will take electrocution every single time. do we agree? >> jimmy: no, we don't. [ laughter ] because we don't know what you're talking about. [ laughter ] and we don't know why you're talking about it. [ applause ] aren't you supposed to be running for president? aren't you supposed to be worried about important topics? and here's the thing. it's kind of funny these silly random rants of his. and they would be fine if he was hosting a podcast or selling knives at the farmer's market. but he's supposed to be leading us. people are listening to him. and the country is getting crazier because he makes it okay to be nuts. remember all those people who were in dallas waiting for jfk jr. and his dad to come back to life? and then he would serve as trump's running mate in '24? okay. let's try to imagine john f. kennedy saying the same thing
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trump just said. >> but if i'm sitting down and that boat is going down and i'm on top of a battery and the water starts flooding in, i'm getting concerned. then i look ten yards to my left, and there's a shark over there. i have a choice of electrocution or shark. you know what? i'm going to take electrocution. oh. and i hate taylor swift. [ applause ] >> jimmy: it sounds much nuttier when you hear it from a real president, right? [ laughter ] donald trump is the exact meeting point between qanon and qvc. [ laughter ] you remember when ronald reagan was selling high tops in the '80s? no, you don't because he wasn't. [ laughter ] reagan didn't sell sneakers. clinton didn't sell pork rinds. bush didn't sell baked beans. presidents don't sell products. except for one, who sells a lot
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of them. >> hello, everyone. i have something incredible to share today. we are announcing the launch of trump coins. it's a really beautiful coffee table book. >> i'm doing my first official donald j. trump nft collection right here and right now. >> my new book "save america" is now available for order. >> by popular demand i'm doing a new series of trump digital trading cards. these cards show me dancing and even holding some bitcoins. >> that's the real deal. that's the real deal. >> my last two trump digital trading card collections sold out in just hours. and now i'm back with my latest series called the mugshot edition. >> here it is. if you want to go out and get it you can go out and get it. have fun with it. >> my new trump watches. that's a lot of diamonds. i love gold. i love diamonds. we all do. >> i think you all should get a copy of god bless the usa bible.
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let's make america pray again. god bless you and god bless the usa. >> those god bless the usa bibles you probably know weren't even made in the usa. they're made in china. that's how tough he is on china. he forces them to make his bibles for him. [ laughter ] how does this not bother anyone? how is this not embarrassing? this is like a bizarro world. he's selling trump bibles because of course he's selling -- this is a man with deep reverence for the word of the lord. >> you mentioned the bible you've been talking about how it's your favorite book and you said i think last night in iowa and some people are surprised that you say that. i'm wondering what one or two of your most favorite bible verses are and why. >> well, i wouldn't want to get into it because to me that's very personal. you know, when i talk about the bible it's very personal. i don't want to -- >> there's no verse that means a lot to you that you think about or cite? >> the bible means a lot to me. but i don't want to get into specifics. >> even to cite a verse you like? >> no. i don't -- >> old testament guy or new testament? >> probably equal.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is -- i don't know. sharing his favorite bible verse is too personal. but did you hear about arnold palmer's big one? [ laughter ] boy. look, he obviously hasn't read the bible. and that's okay. just say you haven't read the bible. if you did you'd know you're not supposed to lie about reading the bible. it's the ninth commandment. the lying is unprecedented. and relentless. so many. republican mayors, governors, senators, people from his own party who want to support him, beg him to stop spreading these ridiculous stories. but he won't. he won't even do it when he's confronted by fox news. >> when you said, you know, it's gone viral, they're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats, you say you're just reporting what had been said. but why not say now, well, look, that turned out not to be true -- >> i don't know if it's true or not true. i read -- >> you don't know if it's true or not true? it's been debunked by officials. >> what about the goose? the geese. what about the geese? what happened there?
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there was -- >> howie, i have no idea. that's a story that was reported. and i said that. why don't you go after the newspaper that wrote it? don't, you know, blame me. >> well, i think it's been debunked by local officials. >> i don't think it's been debunked at all. i think nobody talks about it except you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but wait-i thought you were against fake news. is this what we want from a president? someone who believes or pretends to believe any crackpot story that fits his narrative, who blames everything on immigrants, forgetting i guess that two of his three wives were immigrants? [ laughter ] we only -- do we only have room for hot immigrants? is that -- either he doesn't care about the truth or he has a hard time understanding what the truth is. both very bad options. so now we have an election on tuesday and trump has made it very clear that if he wins it was an honest election and if he loses it was a rigged election. there are only two possible outcomes, it was stolen or i win. can you imagine if this happened in the world series?
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like if the manager of the yankees aaron boone after the game a reporter asked him what the team has to do to come back, he's like come back? we don't have to come back. we're winning. we won. they cheated. [ laughter ] the umpire was born in l.a. and ohtani's an illegal immigrant. i'll see you at the victory parade. [ laughter ] he would be taken to the hospital. they'd do an mri on his brain to find out what was wrong. how is what trump is doing any different from that? he has no plan to lower grocery prices or to make us safer or to protect the border. the only plans he has is file lawsuits, legal challenges, settle scores and punish his enemies. that's all he has planned. he's going to pull all the same tricks he pulled last time and more. this is not my opinion. this is happening right out in the open. they're not even trying to keep it secret. the one thing that makes this country a democracy more than anything else are free and fair elections. of the people, by the people, and for the people.
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[ cheers and applause ] that's what it says. he wants to turn it into of me, by me, for me. he's planning to pardon himself. nixon must be rolling over in his grave just punching himself in the face right now for not thinking of that. he doesn't believe the election was rigged in 2020. his own white house staff testified under oath that he knew all along there was no evidence of fraud. he knows he lost the election. trump's own daughter, his golden child ivanka, one of his closest advisers, said there was no evidence of voter fraud. and yet here we are almost four years later and he's doing it all over again. >> if i lose, i'll tell you what, it's possible because they cheat. that's the only way we're going to lose. >> they don't want voter i.d. because they want to cheat. >> they're trying to rig the vote through this crap they're doing. >> they cheat with ballots and they drop ballots and fake ballots. >> they're trying to rig it with this. this is their new form. >> i didn't rig it. they did. >> they are professional thieves when it comes to elections. >> i see the way they lie and
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the way they cheat. >> how will the democrats cheat in pennsylvania? >> about 12 different ways. so many different ways. if you had all day i could give you examples. >> jimmy: iave two minutes. just give me one of those examples. those poor dummies on january 6th, they all went to prison because they believed him. and i get that politicians don't typically tell the truth, they exaggerate, but this is ridiculous. how could we have an election if whoever loses won't accept the results? and thinks cbs should have its license revoked for an episode of "60 minutes" he didn't like. who sides with russia over the cia and saent covid equipment t putin at the height of the pandemic when americans couldn't even get it. not to mention the 34 felony convictions. will he be president from jail? i mean, how do you see that working? listen, politics in a lot of ways is like sports. you probably just root for the team your dad roots for. maybe you've been a republican your whole life, that's your team, and it feels wrong not to root for them, or to vote for them. but this time around you
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wouldn't be alone. you have a lot of company because hundreds of prominent republicans including dozens of members of his own administration -- [ applause ] -- generals, senators, his own chief of staff, i mean, dick [ bleep ] cheney! [ laughter ] all believe he's unfit to be president. this has never happened before. and you know who else isn't voting for him? i'll tell you who. this guy. mike pence, his adoring subservient vice president said i will not be endorsing donald trump this year. who would have ever thunk it? it's like if milk turned on cookies. [ laughter ] his own vice president. how much more do you need? but if you do need more i suggest you watch that rally he had at madison square garden or listen to all three hours of his interview with joe rogan because most elections are about policy. this one is not. this is about sanity and security and democracy. you know, i saw i ashirpt the
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other day, it said "i support trump because he pisss off the people who piss me off." and it's funny. i get it. sometimes it feels like no one has a sense of humor anymore. but is that what we really want for america, is to piss each other off? i don't want that. [ cheers and applause ] anyway, if you made it this far, if you made it this far thank you for listening. and whoever wins, once the votes are counted, if trump has more of those votes, we are going to accept that even if it doesn't go our way. we won't like it but we'll accept it because that's how it has to go. we vote, we count the votes. winner wins, loser goes away. that's the only way this country can work. and it's up to you to do whatever you think is the right thing to do. but before you go, we have one more thing. this is guillermo. he is an immigrant. he became an american citizen. [ cheers and applause ] and this is a toast for our fellow americans. [ cheers and applause ]
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god bless america. we'll be back with hugh grant. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by allstate.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight a gentleman who has played everyone from jim brown to chalk man to mc ren. his new show is called "cross." aldis hodges is here with us. [ applause ] then later a band of brothers from right here in los angeles. their latest album "oh brother" dawes from the snapdragon stage. tomorrow night eddie redmayne and sheryl lee ralph will join us with music from magdalena bay. so please join us for that. our first guest tonight is a suave, talented and versatile
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actor whose middle name is mungo. we are going to find out why. his terrifying new movie is called "heretic." it opens in theaters a week from friday. please say hello to hugh grant! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you know, thank you for being here. i must ask you about your middle name because this is a little detail. i don't know how it slipped past me the last time. but mungo is one of your middle names. yes? >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hugh mungo? [ laughter ] were you a giant baby? how did this happen? >> it's actually hugh john mungo. >> jimmy: hugh john mungo. okay. >> i don't know how it happened. i had very unkind parents. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: last time i think you were here you mentioned that you were unnerved by christmas, which seems -- is surprising. >> disgusting. >> jimmy: what about halloween? if you're unnerved by christmas. >> i'm getting used to halloween. >> jimmy: you are? >> yeah. but in england it was never a thing when i was a boy. halloween now is huge. it's come over the atlantic and it's huge and my children love it. actually, lulu and blue are too good at halloween. >> jimmy: are too good at halloween? >> yeah. you know those twins in "the shining"? >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> the little boy on his tricycle and then the two little identical girls, "come play with us, danny. forever and ever and ever." and they go from house to house doing that. they look very similar. almost the same size even though they're different ages. they're too good. and we've had notes saying please don't send your children anymore. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they're scaring the neighbors? >> they're too good. >> jimmy: we searched far and wide to get a picture of you in a halloween costume. this is the closest we got.
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this is your unicef halloween ball. did you win laziest costume? [ laughter ] >> it's not good, is it? >> jimmy: this is like a costume i would wear. my daughter gets very upset with me, you can't just put -- i have a hat that looks like a piece of pizza. you can't just put a pizza on your head. you have to wear a real costume. >> yeah, i'm not sure a real man makes too much effort with a costume. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you know what? that's what i'm going to tell my 10-year-old daughter. by the way, you did something that i have to imagine landed you in the parents' hall of fame for a while. you took your daughter to see taylor swift over the summer. which is a strong move just to start with. >> no hardship. >> jimmy: no hardship. >> i'm mad about taylor. >> jimmy: i didn't say there was a hardship. but i'm just saying that not only did you take her, you posted something to taylor. a bit of a fan taylor. you have an incredible show, an amazing and hospitable team and
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an excellent if gigantic boyfriend. #tequilashots. thanks so much from one aging london boy and a thrilled 8-year-old. and she wrote back to you, "as a long-time hugh grant stan this tweet is very important to my culture." and that got 3.1 million views. [ cheers and applause ] now, did you show this to your daughter? and how did she react if you did? >> i'm not sure she really understands twitter too well. but she does want to meet taylor. and i haven't been able to lay that on for her. >> jimmy: oh, you haven't. are you working on that or you feel like that's a bad -- >> every day. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: every day. this is a photograph we have i believe of you at the concert eating i think -- is it a carrot in your mouth? >> we don't know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you've got ear plugs. >> yeah. >> jimmy: in at least one of the ears. >> that's the warm-up band. i would never have had -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i see.
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did you do shots with travis kelce? is that true? >> so many shots. so many shots. with him and his friends. i don't know who they were. i don't know what was happening. but i do know that i got to the stage where i could shake it off. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you shook it off. hugh grant is here. his movie is called "heretic." we'll be right back. >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by snapdragon. at the heart of the devices you love. ...and my ulcerative colitis symptoms... ...kept me... ...out of the picture. now... ...there's skyrizi. ♪i've got places to go...♪ ♪...and i'm feeling free♪ ♪control of my symptoms means everything...♪ ♪...to me♪ ♪control is everything to me♪ and now... ...i'm back in the picture. feel significant symptom relief at... ...4 weeks with skyrizi. skyrizi is proven to help deliver remission... ...and help visibly improve damage.... ...of the intestinal lining at 12 weeks and 1 year.
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and you're both raised in the church? >> born and raised. my mother was a convert. when my dad passed away we auditioned a few different churches just to see what was out there and see whether we believed it. >> i know that feeling very well. it's so important to find your faith in a doctrine you actually believe. that's a very, very personal struggle. that is a personal challenge that i've struggled with for a very, very long time. you know. what is the one true religion? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is hugh grant in "heretic," which is in theaters a week from friday. wow, that's -- clue everyone in a little bit on what's going on there in that scene. >> yes. well, it looks inexplicable, doesn't it? it's two mormon girls, missionaries going from house to house somewhere in the midwest and their last port of call one day is this house where apparently charming and rather
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intellectually stimulating chap called mr. reed answers the door and invites them in and they say, well, we can't come in unless there's a female present. he says no, no, my wife's here, she's cooking a pie. and they come in and everything seems nice. and then things start going weird. you can just see it in my excellent acting there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: by the way, i know you're being funny but your acting is excellent in this movie and it's a really, really gripping and scary -- you're very, very creepy. [ laughter ] >> i know that's what my girlfriends always -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you like scary movies? are you a fan of the genre in general? >> i've never been able to cope ever since "the wizard of oz." i had to be taken screaming out of "the wizard of oz." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that movie still scares me too. that's one of -- that witch is terrifying. >> unspeakable. >> jimmy: you made a lot of romantic comedies. beloved, beloved movies that you're probably tired of hearing
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about. now you've made a horror movie. and i thought it might be fun if we -- and it might not be. but we'll find out. if we -- i would like to ask you, i've got some lines from famous scary movies. and if you would read them in two ways. one, in a scary way. and then in a romantic, humorous way. >> and see if we can tell the difference? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i feel like we will because we have lighting cues. all right? [ laughter ] the first is the movie "silence of the lambs." there's the line. think about it. ♪ >> what's this lighting cue? all right. >> jimmy: wow. we really went all out. [ laughter ] >> hello, clarice. >> jimmy: how was that? >> jimmy: that was really good. >> and now? >> jimmy: now in a rom-com way. >> well, hello. clarice. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i like that. here's the movie is "the exorcist." >> the power of christ compels
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you! or -- you know. [ laughter ] the power of christ compels you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: and one more. okay. well, this is from one of your films. "love actually." ♪ >> okay. you know, if you look for it, have a sneaky feeling that love actually is all around. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. that is spectacular. hugh grant, everybody. "heretic" is in theaters a week from friday. thank you. we will be back with aldis hodge! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ like a relentless weed, moderate to severe ulcerative colitis symptoms
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please let me know your thoughts. best regards, warren. ♪ i am genius (oaaa) ♪ if you've never tried a big mac at mcdonald's. first of all... what? but what if it were a big mac with chicken? would that change your mind? the chicken big mac. it's not not a big mac. get it while you can. badabababa... if you're living with hiv, imagine being good to go without daily hiv pills. good to go unscripted. good to go on a whim. with cabenuva, there's no pausing for daily hiv pills. for adults who are undetectable, cabenuva is the only complete, long-acting hiv treatment you can get every other month. it's two injections from a healthcare provider. just 6 times a year. don't receive cabenuva if you're allergic to its ingredients, or if you're taking certain medicines, which may interact with cabenuva. serious side effects include allergic reactions,
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post-injection reactions, liver problems, and depression. if you have a rash and other allergic reaction symptoms, stop cabenuva and get medical help right away. tell your doctor if you have liver or kidney problems, mental health concerns and if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or considering pregnancy. some of the most common side effects include injection-site reactions, fever, and tiredness. with cabenuva, you're good to go. ask your doctor about switching.
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i love to get stuff done.
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it's who i am. as mayor, i tackled homelessness... ...added 200 officers in 4 years... and saved our taxpayers $3 billion dollars. i've already got a plan to lower your grocery and insurance bills, to address climate change, and protect reproductive rights. and i'll work with anyone to get it done. i'm sam liccardo and i approve this message. >> jimmy: welcome back. aldis hodge and dawes are coming up. but first everyone who knows me knows how excited i get about semiconductors. [ laughter ] but i have no time to keep up with every new development. so i sent my chief technology officer guillermo all the way to maui to learn about snapdragon. >> guillermo: you won't believe what an amazing day i had at the snap dra snapdragon tech event here in maui. first i learned 20 new
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languages. [ speaking in a non-english language ] >> guillermo: sure. hold on. then i introduced to the world dj g-money. ♪ scratching is my passion ♪ >> g-money! >> guillermo: and i live streamed the event to my fans. >> throw me a like if you like snapdragon. >> sent a like if you like puppies. >> surfing chickens. >> guitar solos. >> and mai tais on the beach. >> guillermo: thanks to snapdragon i did all that without charging my battery
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[birds chirping as wind softly blows]
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[coffee cherries dropping into basket] [smooth taps of flowing coffee cherries] [clicking of coffee beans falling] [soft crackling of roasting coffee beans] [ringing of coffee beans on metal] [low roar of churning coffee beans] [rattle of barista pouring coffee beans] [grinding noises] [bubbling water] [people softly talking] [whoosh of steam] [trickle of espresso pouring out] [whoosh of espresso settling] [hissing and frothing of milk steaming] [pouring espresso into cup] [sliding coffee on counter] [person sipping their coffee] what would a trump second term look like? it's all laid out in his project 2025 agenda. he'd let insurance companies deny coverage for pre-existing conditions, cut social security and medicare, and give tax cuts to billionaires, while the middle class pays the price with lower income and higher costs.
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because for trump, it's all about getting unchecked power, while you pay the price. donald trump: more unhinged, unstable, and unchecked. i'm kamala harris and i approve this message. why is special k so special? the multigrain flakes? oh wait i see, it's the real fruit. oh wait wait, can you go back to the berries? mmhmm. special k. special for a reason. ♪ ("hello sunshine" by wilson pickett) ♪ (♪) the all-new nissan kicks with bose personal plus (♪) one in three pet parents has used their pet's name as their password. [sfx: alarm going off] but delicious cesar canine cuisine is a better way to show your love. my moderate to severe crohn's disease...
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...and my ulcerative colitis symptoms... ...kept me... ...out of the picture. now... ...there's skyrizi. ♪i've got places to go...♪ ♪...and i'm feeling free♪ ♪control of my symptoms means everything...♪ ♪...to me♪ ♪control is everything to me♪ and now... ...i'm back in the picture. feel significant symptom relief at... ...4 weeks with skyrizi. skyrizi is proven to help deliver remission... ...and help visibly improve damage.... ...of the intestinal lining at 12 weeks and 1 year. don't use if allergic. serious allergic reactions,... ...increased infections or lower ability to fight them may occur. before treatment, get checked for infections... ...and tb. tell your doctor about any... ...flu-like symptoms,or vaccines. liver problems leading to hospitalization... ...may occur when treated for crohn's or uc. ready to get... ...back in the picture? ask your... ...gastroenterologist how to take control of your crohn's... ...or uc with skyrizi. ♪control is everything to me♪ abbvie could help you save. [car horn] i'm the team mascot,
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and boy, am i running late. but i've got lead in my foot and spirit in my fingers. [cheering] [car rev] ha, ha, what a hit! and if you don't have the right auto insurance coverage, the cost to cover that... might tank your season. ♪ so get allstate, save money on auto insurance and be protected from mayhem, like me. [whoo] [cheering]
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♪ >> jimmy: music from dawes is on the way. our next guest has worked alongside dwayne johnson, tom cruise, cookie monster. you name it. he has a new show called "cross." it premieres november 14th on prime video. please welcome aldis hodge. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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i mean, i know you play a superhero from time to time but you look like a superhero. >> you know, i've got to keep it up, man. i'm trying. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm fantastic. >> jimmy: it's good to meet you in the flesh. last time we were over zoom because of covid. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you have a whole body and everything. >> i'm actually a real person. i don't know if you knew that before. but yeah, i'm a whole human being. >> jimmy: you have a daughter, right? is that correct? >> i do have a daughter. >> jimmy: what's your deal with halloween? do you have to dress up? >> i dress up for work every day. [ laughter ] but with halloween, you know, i'm actually enjoying the holiday now more because my daughter really loves it. she's all into it. she wants to dress up. >> jimmy: she's how old? >> she's almost 3. >> jimmy: almost 3. >> yeah. running my house. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's she going as this year? >> she's obsessed with spider-man. she calls him spiderwebs. she should be dressing up as hawkman. >> jimmy: you would think. >> i'm not going to be in my feelings about it but she wants to be spiderwebs. [ laughter ] that's who she is. >> jimmy: so you will put her in the full spider-man outfit?
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>> oh, she's going to get done up in the whole thing. >> jimmy: will she go trick or treating and whatnot? >> i would like to take her trick or treating. i'm on a very heavy schedule right now. so she and mom are going to go to paris where the other side of the family is. they're going to go trick or treating out there. >> jimmy: oh, wow. what do they give kids in paris? cigarettes? what do they hand out? [ laughter ] >> no, i think it's butter and baguettes. [ laughter ] i think that's how they get down with it. >> jimmy: as a kid you were an actor, right? >> yeah, yeah. i've been in this business for 35 years. >> jimmy: 35 years. [ cheers and applause ] you started out, you'd go to auditions, your mom would take you and your brother to auditions. >> yeah. >> jimmy: then i heard you did stand-up comedy as a kid. >> i did. >> jimmy: how old were you? >> i start when'd i was 11 years old. >> jimmy: so when you doing your own jokes? were you writing jokes? >> well, i didn't start writing till 13. when i was 11 i used to just go into the crowd and just improv a whole set. because the thing is i had a lot of social anxiety. i wasn't aware of this.
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i thought i didn't like people. what it was was i was just having an early onset mid-life crisis. [ laughter ] you know, you either go to therapy or you go to stand-up. >> jimmy: someone suggested that to you. >> yeah, yeah. but no, it actually was great for me because it was a way for me to break my fear of engaging people and find confidence. you know, because if i'm on stage and i got the mike, oh, it's my room. okay, it's going to go how i say it's going to go today. but it gave me a great deal of self-assurance, self-awareness and strength. and you know, it's something that i cherish because it's pushed me to where i am today. jr >> jimmy: were there other kids? or were you the only one? >> sometimes i'd host a show have about 10, 12, 15 kids. as the host you get up, do your set but then you've got to keep the crowd warm in the middle of the set. because i'll tell you this. i'm going to tell you something about grown folks and adults. it don't matter if you're the cutest little 12-year-old, button cute kid in the world. if you ain't funny they going to
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let you know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm going to tell you, adults are cold. cold-blooded. >> jimmy: the coldest. yeah. >> the coldest. >> jimmy: and now you are a detective, alex cross. the james patterson novels. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: who else has played alex cross? i know tyler perry played cross. and morgan freeman, right? >> you mean the voice of god. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes. god himself played -- yes, god in "cross." it makes sense. you're doing this. did you talk to either of those guys beforehand? >> no. the craziest thing about mr. freeman is you know, it sort of came full circle. i had the honor of being able to work with him back in i think it was 2018 on a film called "brian banks." >> jimmy: oh. >> and i remember back then i was nervous to work with him. he's a legend in the game. come on. this is mr. freeman. and our director tom shadiac he came over because he and morgan worked together before.
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morgan leaned in, whispered something in his ear after watching me work for a bit. tom came over to me i want to tell you something. i thought i'm in trouble. mr. freeman's like get it together. but he said, "morgan leaned over to me and he said that kid, he's got it." and when i heard that i'm not even going to lie. real emotional. i shed a thug tear. [ laughter ] i'm not afraid. [ applause ] >> jimmy: did morgan see you shed the tear? >> i ain't going to let him see me cry. come on now, jimmy. but it meant a lot to me because i'm sitting there i'm trying my best. >> jimmy: of course it meant a lot to you. >> somebody like that to say oh no, he got it. you know, it's just affirmation and reassurance to let me know that i ain't crazy, i'm doing what i'm supposed to do. >> jimmy: you may also be crazy. but you're a really good actor i think is what he's saying. >> this is actually true. because i did stand-up. you've got to be crazy to do stand-up. [ applause ] >> jimmy: and congratulations. this is a big show. i know it hasn't even started
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airing yet they've already picked it up for season 2. it's called "cross." it premieres november 14th on prime video. aldis hodge, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with dawes. >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by snapdragon. at the heart of the devices you love.
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>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by snapdragon. at the heart of the devices you love. >> jimmy: thanks to hugh grant and aldis hodge. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next. but first, their album is called "oh brother." here with the song "house parties," dawes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ the next on our list is the m&m store ♪ ♪ then the statue of liberty after f-a-o schwartz ♪ ♪ and as i carry the bags i wonder what we're doing this for ♪ ♪ you don't find the good stuff
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on a guided tour ♪ ♪ but house parties and local bands ♪ ♪ back porches with bowie fans ♪ ♪ spilled drinks on a baby grand ♪ ♪ and midnight singalongs ♪ ♪ i don't care for designer brands ♪ ♪ souvenirs from a trinket stand ♪ ♪ house parties and local bands that's where i belong ♪ ♪ this sunburn is bad and it goes all the way down ♪ ♪ and these drinks in the daytime ♪ ♪ are never quite as fun as they sound ♪ ♪ these days at the beach feel more like
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just sitting around ♪ ♪ so if anyone needs me you know where i can be found ♪ ♪ house parties and local bands ♪ ♪ good weed with some joni fans ♪ ♪ old friends playing mega man and a little donkey kong ♪ ♪ i don't wanna see disneylands ♪ ♪ beer bellies and farmer tans ♪ ♪ house parties and local bands that's where i belong ♪ ♪ we've come to chicago at the wrong time of year ♪ ♪ my eyelids are frozen
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and i can't feel my ears ♪ ♪ it's not that i don't like museums but we live near a few ♪ ♪ if you want the real thing ♪ ♪ you know what you gotta do ♪ ♪ house parties and local bands ♪ ♪ someone yelling at kanye fans ♪ ♪ how can you possibly stand that man after all he's done ♪ ♪ i don't care paul gaughan ♪ ♪ a starry night or the son of man ♪ ♪ house parties and local bands that's where i belong ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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this is nightline. tonight. caught on camera. oh my god. shocking video of what might be an insurance scam seeming to show a car, cutting her off, hitting the brakes and then backing up, making it look like it was her fault. >> i thought it was unusual. and, you know, definitely sketchy, but the last thing on my mind was insurance fraud.

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