>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- dwayne johnson, jim gaffigan, and jason kelce. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel!

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming. please relax. it's like -- all these jerseys, it's like philadelphia in here or something. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the kimmel center. [ laughter ] no, thank you for joining us here in los angeles, home of the giant plaster doughnut where we are monitoring the events in washington as they unfold. man, did they unfold today. donald trump - you know that guy, right? donald trump? donald trump is determined to fill his cabinet with not just clowns. demented sewer clowns. [ laughter ] like stephen king clowns. trump spent the week placing perfect calls to pressure and threaten his fellow republicans in the senate, telling them to

green light matt gaetz despite reports matt gaetz paid multiple women for sex, using venmo. [ laughter ] including a 17-year-old girl. the last time trump made this many calls on behalf of an unqualified candidate was to get his son eric into georgetown. [ laughter ] so this is special. matt gaetz went to capitol hill. yesterday he was on the hill to drum up support himself, and he seemed optimistic. >> how are the meetings going, sir? >> been great. the senator's given me a lot of good advice. i'm looking forward to a hearing. folks are very supportive. saying we're going to get a fair process. it's a great day of momentum for the trump administration. >> jimmy: now if you'll excuse me, i have a school bus to catch. [ laughter ] so that was yesterday, which was as he said, a great day of momentum. today was not. today, matt gaetz withdrew his name from consideration for attorney general -- [ cheers and applause ] and crawled back under the rock of cocaine he scurried out from under.

which was a shock to many, especially considering all the top-notch republicans who showed up to support him. >> he's no longer a member of this body. they have no jurisdiction of releasing anything. nobody here is willing to say it. [ bleep ] it. i'll come out and say it. oops, sorry. ha ha ha! >> jimmy: ha ha ha! [ laughter ] even matt gaetz was like, "no thanks, i'm good on the support, george, you can go back to your volleyball team." [ laughter ] seemed like he was in a good mood, right? he must've stolen some new credit card numbers. [ laughter ] matt gaetz will not be our next attorney general. he said he decided to take his maga hat out of the ring because his nomination was becoming a distraction to the critical work of the trump/vance transition. that's true. president-elect trump should not be distracted from his critical work of creating other distractions. [ laughter ]

what "critical work" is he referring to here? watching ufc fights with kid rock? [ laughter ] or touring spacex with elon like it's bring your fat kid to work day? [ laughter ] gaetz said he was honored that trump nominated him, and he looks forward to spending more time posing as a high school senior on the roblox reddit page. [ laughter ] the reason gaetz appears to have bailed suddenly is because more damning accusations were about to come out. the house ethics committee was reportedly informed about a second incident involving a 17-year-old who says she had a paid sexual encounter with matt gaetz. well, one thing you can say is, he was putting young people to work. [ laughter ] and despite this, despite these vile allegations, matt got a round of applause from republicans like the very christian mike johnson, who said he has a bright future ahead of him. lindsey graham said he's "very smart and talented and will continue to contribute to our nation's wellbeing for years to come. and, of course the president-elect weighed in with maga-nanimous words. he said, "i greatly appreciate the recent efforts of matt gaetz in seeking approval to be attorney general.

he was doing very well but, at the same time, did not want to be a distraction for the administration. matt has a wonderful future, and i look forward to watching all of the great things he will do!" oh, i bet you look forward to watching all the things he'll do. [ laughter ] i look forward to tracking his future venmo transactions. [ laughter ] see, the thing is trump did this wrong. he did it in the wrong order. first, you nominate diddy for attorney general -- [ laughter ] then matt gaetz. and while this is sad news for gaetz and his fans - it is potentially very exciting news for judge jeanine piro. [ laughter ] who will be our next attorney general. poor rudy giuliani. he has to be on the twin bed in the office his son converted into a guest room going, "what about me?" [ laughter ] this gaetz situation is a setback for trump - but it'll all be forgotten as soon as he nominates new surgeon general doctor heathcliff huxtable. [ laughter ] and then we have presidonny's new worstie elon musk - who will be joining forces with vivek ramaswamy to head up what they're calling "the department

of government efficiency" - or "doge." he named a new department of the government after the bitcoin he owns. and trump allowed it. he probably doesn't know he allowed it, but he allowed it! [ laughter ] they're looking to cut the federal budget, and elon does have experience when it comes to cutting. he was able to cut $31 billion off the value of twitter just by buying it. [ laughter ] [applause ] musk and ramaswamy said federal employees whose positions are eliminated "deserve to be treated with respect" and given "voluntary severance payments to facilitate a graceful exit." right. everyone gets a free cardboard box to load their stuff into - and maybe live in. this is how elon musk gives severance. when elon musk fires you, he says "good luck" and runs you over with a cybertruck. okay? [ laughter ] this is fun - musk is at the center of a new conspiracy theory involving donald trump. some x users believe that when trump was at spacex this week, he used a body double. they say that is not really

donald trump. he does look kind of weird. to me it looks like he was out by the barbecue and the grill exploded. [ laughter ] there's something going on. this was started by a verified x usernamed hustle bitch, so you know there's something to it. [ laughter ] here's the thing - if donald trump picked a body double, it wouldn't look like that, it would look like this. [ laughter ] when he wakes up in the morning, that is what he sees. don't these conspiracy guys take at least a couple weeks off after the election? and while don junior has been palling around with the in-crowd lately, his brother, eric, is over in the uk sharing his powerful charm with our friends across the pond. >> as a country, we've been ripped off by everyone. we've been ripped off by china, we've been ripped off by vietnam, we've been ripped off by the european union, we've been ripped off by nato. i'm telling you, that's not going to happen under donald trump. the days of america being stupid are -- are over. i mean, just -- the days of america being stupid are -- are over. >> jimmy: does that mean you're

staying in england? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the days of america being stupid are not over. yes, under the leadership of our new secretary of education, mrs. wrestlemania -- [ laughter ] the days of us being stupid are over. >> your dad, the best christmas gift would be a tariff-free trade deal. >> i'll pass that along. he can pass a message along on your end. maybe -- maybe be a little kind. and -- and maybe -- maybe treat other -- other countries and other world leaders with a little respect. and, you know -- typically -- honey attracts more than vinegar. >> jimmy: that took a turn. [ laughter ] daddy's little buddy is turning into a tough big boy, isn't he? [ laughter ] what's going on? who told this dip [ bleep ] it was okay to go over to the uk and threaten them? [ laughter ] >> just a clarification, who's that to? >> that's to -- it's to a number of people. >> yeah.

>> jimmy: it's the sporty, it's the baby, it's the ginger, it's all the spice girls, in fact. [ laughter ] you're on notice. his message to our allies is - be nice or my dad will beat you up. >> my father's going to take care of the united states of america. any father's not just a guy who -- he worked so tirelessly. that's the reason my father was elected. my father did the impossible. my father. my father. my father. my father my father my father my father my father. >> jimmy: i didn't realize you guys were related. [ laughter ] so embarrassing. you know, this is crazy. last night at sothebys, that's the famous auction house in new york, they sold a conceptual work of art. this is for real. it is a banana and a piece of duct tape. >> we're going to begin at $800,000. $800,000. $850,000 now. $850,000. $900,000, thank you, sir. here it is, only at sotheby's, $5 million for a banana. at $5,200,000.

it's yours, congratulations. thank you very much indeed. >> jimmy: it sold for $5.2 million. $6.2 million with commissions. how funny would it be if that woman just walked up, pulled the banana off the wall, and ate it in front of everybody? [ laughter ] the artist, this is the artist. he said he did this as a satirical jab at market speculation. and it worked! i mean this whole time, people have been investing in apple. they should have been investing in banana. [ laughter ] [ applause ] the woman who won the bid was bidding on behalf of a crypto entrepreneur. and i want you right now, if you would together, to close your eyes and just try to imagine what a crypto entrepreneur who would pay $6.2 million for a banana might look like. okay? are you ready? do you have it in your head? all right, open your eyes. that's him. [ laughter ] you had it exactly right. that is justin son. he -- justin said he looks

forward to eating the banana in the comes days. he's going to slice it up and have it on his morning picasso. [ laughter ] a $6.2 million banana. thanks, joe biden, this inflation is absolutely out of control. [ laughter ] speaking of art - one of the most highly-anticipated movies of the year is "moana 2." it's coming out next week. and we were fortunate enough to get a sneak peek for our man guillermo, who -- how was -- wait. where's guillermo? >> guillermo: aloha, jimmy! >> jimmy: did you die? [ laughter ] >> guillermo: no, i am in hawaii. >> jimmy: oh. wow. [ cheers and applause ] look at you. hold on a second. why are you in hawaii? >> guillermo: you told me to reveal "moana 2," dumbass, so i flew to hawaii. >> jimmy: you could have gone to the movie theater next door, you didn't have to go all the way to hawaii, guillermo. >> guillermo: i'm sorry, it's hard to hear you because i am in hawaii and i'm not listening. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, all right.

all right, well what did you think of the movie, then? >> guillermo: what movie? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "moana 2." what do you mean what movie? >> guillermo: oh. i haven't watched it yet. it doesn't come out until wednesday. >> jimmy: wasn't the whole point of this trip so you could see the movie and tell us about it in advance? >> guillermo: listen, dude, take a chill pill, relax. we are in hawaii. >> jimmy: no, we are not in hawaii. i'm not in hawaii. none of us are in hawaii. >> guillermo: has anybody seen "moana 2"? >> jimmy: no, woo we've not seen -- >> hey, no, i saw it. [ cheers and applause ] i saw "moana 2." hey, man, surprised to see you. >> jimmy: dwayne johnson. how are you doing? >> jimmy, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing great. wow. this is -- all right, this is a good -- okay, now you're off the hook, guillermo. >> here he is. >> guillermo: dwayne johnson, the rock. >> jimmy: yes, i see him. >> he just said it. >> jimmy: you're a bit delayed on that one.

you guys look like you're having fun. >> yeah, i got a question for you, jimmy. and i love you, you know that. we go way back. but hey, dude, why did you send guillermo instead of you? >> jimmy: instead of they no one told me there even was a trip. by the way, some of us have to work. some of us have a show that we have to do. >> guillermo: what a nerd. >> [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: you have seen and you're in "moana 2." will you tell us something about it? >> i will. i've seen it. and the movie is -- you know what, the movie's awesome, jimmy. that's the truth. and i think a lot of people around the world are excited about it. we go on a new epic voyage and a journey. and maui, my character, i bring back to life. moana is in it. we have new music. on top of all that, the visual effects are spectacular, the story's spectacular. also it's important in that it's the -- it's the encouragement and the empowerment of empowering a young girl.

and our young boys and girls out there, how important that is. >> guillermo: wow, that's nice. i have a few questions for you. >> jimmy: wait a minute, what? you have questions? >> guillermo: yeah, i have questions for mr. johnson. hold on, jimmy. >> jimmy: okay. >> guillermo: all right, okay. all right, here, hold on. all right. here's my first question. is cereal a soup? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait that has nothing to do with "moana 2," guillermo. >> guillermo: i haven't seen it yet. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we haven't seen it yet either. >> guillermo: all right, please answer the question. >> what's the question again? what is it that -- >> guillermo: is cereal a soup? >> is cereal a soup? cereal is only a soup when you eat it drunk. as i may have eaten it a few times drunk. that's when you just drink it. it becomes a soup. >> jimmy: that's a solid answer, yeah, okay. >> in the morning, it's regular cereal.

>> guillermo: oh, okay, all right. question number two -- >> jimmy: oh, there's another question? >> guillermo: who will win a fight between godzilla or moana? >> moana would kick the [ bleep ] out of godzilla. [ cheers ] >> guillermo: all right. last question. can you put some on my back? i want to hit the beach. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is more of a request than a question, guillermo. >> yeah, this isn't a question, this is a nightmare, that's what this is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what kind of spf do we have going there? guillermo, you have a couple of mysterious islands living on your stomach there, hair patches. yeah, okay. >> all right. this is happening. this is really happening right now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i can see why you went to hawaii, guillermo. >> wow. thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: "moana 2." thank you, jimmy.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. "moana 2" comes out wednesday the 27th. we've got a good show for you tonight. jason kelce is here. and we'll be right back with jim jason kelce is here. and we'll be right back with jim gaffigan. elevated home-shopping experience. beautiful design, tremendously rich content, and, my favorite touch, it's the only site that always connects you to the listing agent. feels like a work of art! (marci) lovely. what about the app? (luke) uh-oh! look what i did. it's ringing. hello? hello? (marci) they can't hear you. (luke) hello? (marci) because you glued a frame over the microphone. (luke) i think i've glued the frame over the microphone. (vo) ding dong! homes-dot-com. we've done your home work. why is special k so special? the multigrain flakes? oh wait i see, it's the real fruit. oh wait wait, can you go back to the berries?

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>> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back to the show. tonight, he's a podcaster, seven-time pro bowler, and super bowl-caliber chugger of beer - jason kelce is with us. [ cheers and applause ] next week, we have new shows with kathy griffin, ronny chieng, drew starkey and garth brooks, with music from knocked loose. so please join us for all of that. our first guest is a professionally and personally very funny man with a lot of kids and a lot of comedy specials too. his 11th special is called "the skinny." it premieres tomorrow on hulu. please welcome jim gaffigan. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: wow, we should have -- you know, we should have -- >> they like me, they like me! >> jimmy: you look great, by the

way. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: your special is very, very funny. i enjoyed watching it this weekend. >> thanks so much. >> jimmy: i'm sure people are talking about your appearance all the time. >> well, you go -- yeah, i have lost some weight. and i've done it the old-fashioned way, which is sticking a shot in my stomach. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's -- >> no effort, no self-control. no sweating. it's the most american thing you could do. [ laughter ] stick some of that big pharma right in and look better in the morning. the covid shot and this --we -- >> i love how people are secretive about it. what's the big deal? "oh, i freely -- oh, i'm embarrassed to admit i'm taking something that's going to allow me to live longer." what's the big deal? >> jimmy: right.

>> "now my knees don't hurt, i don't have diabetes." what's the negative? >> jimmy: that is good. old clothes. you talked about your clothing a little bit in the special. did you -- did you find a chubby friend to gift them to? >> i have no expectation of keeping this weight off. [ laughter ] [ applause ] because -- not only because i'm american. [ laughter ] i assume that this appetite suppressant thing will stop working, or i'll grow a tail. [ laughter ] so, you know, i'm holding on to those clothes. i have a feeling i'll be fat again. maybe. >> jimmy: yeah, it always looms. that's the thing. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: you can't just freeze that moment, like okay, i'm good here. doesn't matter. in six months, it could be bad again. >> i try to explain it to my wife. men never change.

[ laughter ] right? >> jimmy: that's true, yeah. you have a great billboard on sunset boulevard. >> i love it. >> jimmy: have you driven by that? >> i saw it. hulu's really supporting this special, so i'm very excited. >> jimmy: they're doing one comedy special every month. >> yes. >> jimmy: i was also thinking about it today. 11 comedy specials. that's a lot of work. that's a lot of comedy specials. >> i mean, if only my dad had loved me. [ laughter ] you know? no, but i love -- i love the process of, you know, doing stand-up and, you know, being away from my family. [ laughter ] i love all of that. and so it's, you know -- it's weird, because when we were growing up, people didn't -- like carlin did specials but that was about it. so now it's pretty standard for, you know, comedians to put out material every year or two. >> jimmy: yeah, and you do it. yours are always really good. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it never seems like you're mailing it in. you were very funny as tim walz on "saturday night live." [ cheers and applause ] you know, i think it -- have you done anything like that where you've been imitating someone? >> well, i've done a fair amount of acting and stuff like that.

but like when the opportunity came up, when she picked him, you know, of course it was offered to steve martin. he passed. the internet was like, what about this doughy white guy, what about this doughy white guy? [ laughter ] i was one of the guys that was in consideration. but out of respect for "snl," which this is iconic show, i know that you don't really campaign for things like that. you're kind of respectful, let the process happen. which means i'll never get it. [ laughter ] and so i was kind of just standing back, then i got a call from my manager. i was shooting a movie in england. and he was like -- with my agent he was like, "yeah, there is a -- i don't know if you know, but you're in consideration for tim walz, and we've told them that you occasionally will send silly videos of you pretending to be tim walz." i'm like, oh, that's an interesting idea. they were like, "now they're asking for those videos."

[ laughter ] i'm like -- so i went back to my hotel, and i kind of changed a lot and tried to do my tim walz impression. which is just an impression of my brother, mitch. [ laughter ] and my brother -- i grew up in the midwest. my brother mitch, like governor walz, is a sweet, sincere, caring guy that, you know, tears up watching every sentimental movie he's ever seen. so that's what i submitted. and it worked out. people were like, "you do a great tim walz." i'm like, "i'm doing mitch gaffe gaffigan." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did it concern you at all your management, their first inclination is to lie to "saturday night live"? [ laughter ] >> i think they were trying any angle. i appreciate -- it's the entertainment industry. whatever makes it work. >> jimmy: have you heard from team walz? did they reach out to you in any way? >> i have not. >> jimmy: oh. >> i do -- it was -- i think some of the greatest compliments i've received is that the lieutenant governor, who she

said that she does a pretty good tim walz, but she thinks that mine's better. >> jimmy: that's good. you know you're going to get a call to come to one of his birthday parties or something like that. >> i'd be happy to do it. >> jimmy: did you go to the after party? the "saturday night live" party? >> that's what's -- not only is this show bizarrely legendary, but the after party -- i wasn't really prepared for it. i had been to it before when i was in my 20s. of course the after party starts at 1:30 in the morning because the show ends at 1:00. >> jimmy: right. >> so i was like, all right, i'll go to that, then i'll be home by 2:30 or whatever. i got to the party at 1:30. i swear to god, i was the first person there. [ laughter ] i called my wife. i'm like, "i think i got to hang out a little bit so that people can come." so then i left at like 3:00. i was the first person to leave. >> jimmy: at 3:00 a.m. was it what you imagined? was it like in your 20s? >> no, it was so -- so amazing

because there -- there's just a lot of people hanging out at the party. and just, you know, me, you know, having an opportunity to hang out with martin short. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's just fun. >> jimmy: you -- i mean, listen. martin short is a great celebrity, as is jon hamm. but you were with the pope. maybe the biggest celebrity in the whole world, right? >> pretty popular. pretty popular. >> jimmy: you with a group of comedians at vatican. >> so bizarre. >> jimmy: i would have loved to have come. i was doing the show. it was the middle of the week, yeah. >> who is going to provide more help to the catholic church than a room full of comedians? [ laughter ] so the pope invited all these comedians over. not just from the u.s. from throughout the world. and we're all put in this room. and the pope came in and prepared this -- gave this prepared speech in italian or spanish, i don't know the difference. [ laughter ]

we were given a translation. and he -- so it was crazy because i'm sitting in a room with, you know, fallon, colbert, chris rock, birbiglia, david sedaris. it was like a meeting of everyone that couldn't behave in church. [ laughter ] it's the kid that would get kicked out of the synagogue or the mosque for not listening, was in that room. it was pretty amazing. >> jimmy: did you get the sense that the pope knew who anyone was? >> i don't think he did, no. i mean, he -- his statement was pretty important about the value of humor, which you know, as funny people, we think it is important. but he -- yeah, no -- when i went up there, i didn't think he knew who anyone was. >> jimmy: you brought your whole family? your one son? >> my wife, a catholic, gave each of my sons, my two youngest sons were there, they went up and had their rosaries blessed. and then they kind of -- they

gave us access to the vatican, to walk around. and of course, my two younger sons, they're boys, they're like orangutans. [ laughter ] you turn around, they're just running down a hallway. i'm like, i think they're going to be killed by the swiss guard. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what a place to misbehave. >> yeah, they don't care that it's, you know -- >> jimmy: no, not at all. >> this would be cool, to yell in this hallway. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, and you can't yell -- >> yeah you can't hit your kids in the vatican. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: i've always said that. jim gaffigan is here. [ cheers and applause ] his special is called "the skinny." it premieres tomorrow on hulu. we'll be right back. i was ok wie to severe rheumatoid arthritis symptoms... ...with my psoriatic arthritis symptoms. but just ok isn't ok. and i was done settling. if you still have symptoms after trying a tnf blocker like humira or enbrel, rinvoq works differently.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: jim gaffigan, a comedy special called "the skinny" premieres tomorrow on hulu. you're on tour, maybe working on your next one, right? >> yeah, absolutely. >> jimmy: you perform on new year's eve, doing a show in florida. >> i do. >> jimmy: is that fun to do a show on new year's eve? >> yeah, i'm doing a show in tampa. i did a new year's eve show in tampa a couple of years ago. if you do it at the right time. it's a 7:00 show. so it means the people that come to the show, you know -- so the people that want to go out and make mistakes go out and make mistakes after the show. the people that want to go home and avoid the people who are going to make mistakes. so everyone has a good time. as long as you do it early enough. >> jimmy: you don't want to be

on stage when the clock strikes midnight. >> i've done that many times and they can't pay you enough to do it. >> jimmy: what was your first acting role? >> my first acting role -- oh, my gosh. i did this moviefone commercial. >> jimmy: for those who are too young, explain what moviefone is. and phones also. [ laughter ] >> there used to be a thing called a land line! it was actually cutting-edge technology where you would dial a number, and it would tell you what movies were playing based on your zip code, i believe. you'd type in your zip code. it would run through, "moviefone, press 1." >> jimmy: the guy had that voice. >> there was a bit on "seinfeld," even. i was working in advertising as a copywriter. i was doing stand-up at night. and i had met a friend who had a commercial agent. and i said, "you know, i would love to audition." "maybe i'll send you out." he sent me, it was the middle of

the workday, i left at lunch. i went to the audition. and i ended up getting the job. >> jimmy: and so that -- you auditioned for this thing. and then this was a commercial that was shown -- not on tv but in movies, in the theater? >> yes. now when we see a commercial in a movie theater we get angry. back then it was like, oh, wow, this is cool, a commercial. [ laughter ] that's what i like to think. >> jimmy: when's the last time you saw that commercial? >> i don't know. 20 years, maybe? >> jimmy: did you go to the theater to see it? >> i -- yeah, when it came out, i went to the theater. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> and then they played it, which was so exciting.

it was during the day. and there was, like, two random guys. it was like, you know, maybe eight people in the whole theater. and i was like, "did you see that?" "yeah, was that you?" "yeah, it was me." "good job." [ laughter ] [ applause ] it was kind of pathetic, but it was amazing. so my first acting job i got that i auditioned for, i got. and after that i've never gotten another job. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not true, but what is true is that we did find your moviefone commercial. [ cheers and applause ] so now let's dial the clock back to what, 1992 or something like that? >> i don't know. 1892. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 1892. and here's jim gaffigan's first role as an actor. >> it was right here. there was a movie theater right here just last week. the marquee was right there. the lights. >> don't miss the movie. call moviefone. the one call to make for theaters and showtimes. >> box office was right there. or was it over there? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i 100% remember that. absolutely. i do remember.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, welcome back. our next guest comes from one of those families where if you haven't won a super bowl, they kick you out. his newest career is in podcasting with his baby brother

and on television with espn on "monday night countdown." please welcome jason kelce. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that is -- that's quite -- [ cheers ] >> that's a fun entrance. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah. we give you a big entrance. and i like the shirt. you really look like a local. [ laughter ] >> yeah, that's what i was going for. >> jimmy: where would one get a shirt of that type? >> one of the gift shops outside. >> jimmy: is that right? that's kind of what i expected, yeah. >> i've made the mistake before, forgetting to pack. i did not have a shirt that i really liked. i thought, why not get something from one of the souvenir shops? >> jimmy: didn't you do that on monday night football? >> i've done it a few times. i've forgotten my pants and blamed my wife. [ laughter ] forgotten the shirt for monday night football, the whole suit.

>> jimmy: your first game, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you didn't bring a suit. >> packing is not my strength. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. you should have been on the packers, i guess. [ laughter ] is it one of those situations where, when you're an athlete for, what, 13 years, you're in the nfl, and before that, obviously, where somebody's taking care of that stuff for you? now you don't kind of know what to do, how to function? >> yes, to a certain degree. i've also never had had to worry about what i'm going to wear, so i've never thought about it that much. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> then i'm coming on wonderful shows like this, all of a sudden i'm expected to be a certain way. also, obviously we have an incredible equipment staff in the nfl. those guys always are taking care of us. >> jimmy: that's what you need, your own equipment staff. >> i need pete and craig, i know you guys are watching, i need you to help me out. >> jimmy: you're still in philly? >> i am, yeah.

[ cheers and applause ] eagles fans? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah there's a lot. you can feel a little bit extra unruliness in the air. [ laughter ] you can see there's a lot of jerseys here. philly fans are like the toughest fans in sports. >> they are, it's a tough town. >> jimmy: it's good to be on their side. >> it is. >> jimmy: they love you. did they always love you? >> it was not always sunshine and rainbows, no. i think -- you know, i think philly -- any athlete that plays there is going to have highs and lows. it's the way sports are, right? you're going to have ups and downs, games you play great, seasons you play great, seasons you play bad. i've had my share of downs. 2016 i almost got traded, i almost got cut. the city really was not big jason kelce fans that year. but they ended up sticking around. we ended up winning the super bowl the next year. i played perhaps my best season following all of that. i do think the biggest thing philly fans want is they want somebody who shows that they care.

they want somebody that shows that they're going to go do everything possible. the guy that runs to first base. the guy that does everything they can. zach ertz, a guy i played with -- [ cheers and applause ] zach ertz was in a bengals game once and shied away from a block. and the whole city wanted to tear him apart. who is this guy, how is he going to do that to his teammate? crushing him. and the next game, he caught a pass, ran through three guys, and the whole stadium erupted. and just like that, it was over. and i try to tell that story all the time to players and other people. like, you know, you control the narrative as the player. ultimately, what you do on the field what is the fans are going to -- >> jimmy: you're saying fans are very fickle. [ laughter ] no real loyalty to you unless you're performing in the way they deem good. >> appropriate, yes. and the performance is always a part of it. but i also think the effort is a

big part of it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so you are now the first season retired from -- are you missing playing at all? >> every day. >> jimmy: every day. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you played center. for those who don't follow football, you hike the ball to the quarterback? >> yep. >> jimmy: do you ever -- do you ever have your wife bend over and have her get up behind you and just feel around a little, to remind you of the glory days? >> absolutely, yeah. [ laughter ] we do a lot of glory things back there, yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: you are now -- it's different, right? you've got nothing to do for a few days a week now. >> well, yeah. i'm actually busier in a lot of ways. >> jimmy: you are? >> yeah. i'm -- it's like more decentralized. so it's a lot of inefficient busy-ness.

every day i worked to get birth at football with coaches and players and it was awesome. now i'm traveling and -- i'm on zooms -- >> jimmy: you have a big announcement to make? >> i do. >> jimmy: please, announce. >> i am starting -- i believe it's january 3rd. i hope it's january 3rd. we'll be doing a late-night show during the postseason on espn. >> jimmy: nice. >> it's going to be airing every friday. and, you know, when i first approached espn with potentially working for them, monday night football was a big part of that, "monday night countdown." i thought about -- i loved late-night shows. i've always loved them. i remember sleepovers watching conan o'brien with my friends. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> i was like, what are we doing here? and i think for me, the biggest thing that players say they miss when they leave the sport is being around the guys. is the locker room, is the banter. >> jimmy: showering with men. [ laughter ] >> listen, that's where half of the good stuff comes from, sure. [ laughter ] and you know, being able to have this, you know, this -- the show where we're going to have a

bunch of guys up there, legends of the game, friends that i played the game with, coaches, celebrities. while also incorporating "nfl films" is going to be a part of it. we have a live band. being able to play some of these iconic nfl songs. >> jimmy: in philadelphia? >> in philadelphia. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: in front of a big audience? >> yeah, it's going to be a live audience. >> jimmy: i think that's a great idea. i think you're going to do very well with that. i listened to the podcast. >> okay. >> jimmy: i was listening to you guys interviewing freddie freeman. you got a very nice little bit of information out of freddie, which i didn't know, i interviewed him that his dad still drives him to batting practice? >> yes. >> jimmy: every batting practice, his dad drives him. >> and throwing the ball to him, yes, that is true. >> jimmy: that is unbelievable. >> that's one of the things about baseball -- every kid could probably recognize dad throwing the ball to you. playing catch in the backyard. that's got to be amazing. >> jimmy: especially when you're in your late 30s. [ laughter ]

it's more unusual when you can drive and you're still getting rides from your dad. [ laughter ] but you are going to -- you and your brother are doing the -- will your brother be on your tv show? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: he can't, really. >> he's probably going to be busy. maybe he gets a first-round bye and we can sneak him onto a show. >> jimmy: if he says he can't make on it a friday, then we see him at one of his girlfriend's concerts on a friday -- [ cheers ] we're going to have a problem, probably. >> i think we all know who the priority is. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: do you as a brother have to -- do you buy -- will you at christmastime buy individual gifts for travis and taylor? or will you buy them a couples gift? and what do you get them? >> yeah. it's tough to shop for people that can have anything that they want. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> so, you know -- >> jimmy: what do you do? >> you've got to go to handmade gifts. something sentimental maybe,

that's near and dear to them. you know. i think that -- >> jimmy: do you make things by hand? >> i've never done it, but i think it would work really well. [ laughter ] i've got something up my sleeve this year. >> jimmy: so, if we -- >> macaroni necklace. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> it works on me with my kids very well. >> jimmy: funny if you made taylor a macaroni necklace. [ laughter ] then all of a sudden millions of girls are wearing macaroni necklaces. [ laughter and applause ] >> friendship macaroni necklaces. we just started a trend. >> jimmy: i think the message here is, buy stock in macaroni. [ laughter ] it's about to skyrocket. well, congratulations on all this stuff. i can't wait to see it. the name of the show? >> "they call it late night." >> jimmy: it premieres january 3rd on espn. jason kelce, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back.

>> jimmy: thanks to jim gaffigan and thanks to this guy, jason kelce. thanks to dwayne johnson. apologies to matt damon. don't have him on, by the way. >> of course. >> jimmy: he's no good at all. thanks for watching. "nightline" is next. good night!

this is >> tonight, behind the blind side. the hollywood feel-good story. you think you know. >> you protect his blind side. when you look at him, you think