Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  December 24, 2024 11:35pm-12:37am PST

11:35 pm
his live location, which is over the state of arizona. he'll be over new mexico shortly. it has been a >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- jamie lee curtis, hannah einbinder, and music from ava max. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheering and applause ]
11:36 pm
♪ >> jimmy: thank you. very nice. hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. thank you for joining us here in hollywood after thanksgiving weekend. i hope you are full of beige foods tonight. guillermo, i was going to ask you, did you have your usual thanksgiving chicken this year? >> guillermo: no, this year we had turkey. >> jimmy: you did? what turned you around? >> guillermo: the family, we win. they only had turkey and panettones. >> jimmy: panettone? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what? >> you know the italian bread. panettone. >> jimmy: so you had turkey and panettones? >> guillermo: yeah. it was good. and wine, jimmy. >> jimmy: and wine. >> guillermo: it was crazy. this year was different. >> jimmy: you're really experiencing all different cultures. >> guillermo: i know. >> jimmy: i have to say, i got
11:37 pm
so many lovely messages this week from every company i've ever bought anything from. i got beautiful emails from williams-sonoma, shinola, cb2. i got a nicer message from cb2 than i did from any member of my actual family this thanksgiving. today, as you probably know, is one of the holiest shopping days of the year. cyber monday. cyber monday is followed by -- [ applause ] giving tuesday and stolen amazon package wednesday. [ laughter ] every year, americans set aside one day to shop online. and that's it. this is interesting. last year, 51.8% of online sales were made from a smartphone. and that number's expected to go up this year. so when you're opening that special gift this holiday season please know that there's a very good chance your loved one bought that for you from the toilet on their phones. [ laughter ] with that said, there was more in-store shopping on black friday this year than last. even though amazon tried their best to make black friday as
11:38 pm
traditional as possible. when you'd go to buy a tv on black friday on amazon, you could choose add to cart, buy now, or physically rip it out of an old lady's hands and add to cart. yeah, you know, there's something about wrestling an air fryer out of a fellow human's grip you just don't get from shopping online. [ laughter ] they had a very white sunday in buffalo last night. i don't know if you saw this. this was the scene before the bills-niners game. they got a foot and a half of snow. and somebody forgot to close the sun roof on the stadium. [ laughter ] i mean, this is -- they had to eat their beer with spoons. but 70,000 fans showed up anyway and paid to show. i have to say, i've never liked anything as much as these people who went to that game like football. like, if this was where you had to go for sex? i'd still be a virgin. i'd say no thanks. [ laughter ] we had a good weekend. i smoked a turkey. i sliced my finger open. i burned my arm. all the holiday traditions were there. you know, a lot of people are
11:39 pm
frying their turkeys these days. i did that once and it was enough. you can really screw it up. like this poor guy who may have left his bird in just a minute too long. >> what you doing, uncle jack? >> i'm going to pull the turkey out. [ laughter ] >> think it's burnt? >> we got a burnt turkey, guys! >> jimmy: all right, now, let's say you're uncle jack, and you've just revealed a turkey that looks like it burned up on reentry from orbit. when you find yourself in this situation, what do you say? >> it's just the skin, relax. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right. it's just the skin. relax. once you cut through the first five inches of charcoal, it's going to be great. that turkey wasn't fried, it was cremated. [ laughter ] but at least it was dead. some of these poor birds got the shock of their lives this weekend. >> what are you doing, bud?
11:40 pm
it's okay. you don't know him. you don't know him. >> jimmy: i don't know him? have you no decency, woman? you roasted a member of my flock! this is not a "far side" cartoon, this is my life! our pumpkin pie-headed president-elect spent his holiday at mar-a-lago with his family and new best friend. ♪ ♪ it's fun to stay at the ymca ♪ ♪ it's fun to stay at the ymca ♪ >> jimmy: oh, so cool. so, so, so cool. [ laughter ] that's what thanksgiving is like in hell. that's what i imagine. [ laughter ] it's donald, it's elon, and it's ymca for the millionth time. who do you think is sicker of that song, the staff at mar-a-lago or the village people themselves? [ laughter ] trump has a lot to give thanks for this year, but no one has more to be thankful for this weekend than hunter biden.
11:41 pm
president biden, even though he specifically said he wouldn't pardon his son hunter yesterday on federal tax and firearm charges, he dropped the pardon out of nowhere like it was a kendrick lamar album. [ laughter ] it caught pretty much everyone by surprise. >> okay. we have a fox news alert. nbc news is reporting that president trump has decided he will pardon his son hunter. this comes ahead of -- i mean, what did i say? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you said trump, but i can see how you'd make that mistake. trump's got a couple of hunters himself. now, i am not a presidential historian, but i believe this is the first time a u.s. president has pardoned both his son and a turkey in the same week. [ laughter ] biden released a statement saying that the charges in hunter's case were politically motivated and that his son was "selectively and unfairly prosecuted." in other words, the biden presidency has now entered the "grandpa doesn't give a damn about what you think" phase. [ laughter ] biden said he arrived at the decision to pardon hunter this
11:42 pm
weekend. the bidens went to church in nantucket on saturday. at one point during the mass, hunter turned to his father and said, "dad, did you hear what the priest said about forgiveness?" [ laughter ] and it was done. i wonder if joe now has to get hunter anything for christmas? this is good enough, right? and of course, the right wing media is going so nuts over this, you'd almost think they got a tape of biden calling georgia asking for 11,000 votes. >> joe biden has lied to us from the get-go. >> you lied to us. >> he has now graduated to the liar in chief. >> it's a true travesty against everybody in this country. >> this is total disrespect for the rule of law. >> hypocrisy at its best and a threat to democracy. >> melania trump has her closet raided by merrick garland's doj and then biden's white house pardons his son. people see the disparity. >> this whole thing stinks. >> i woke up today, i'm absolutely furious with this. >> he and his family are so full of slime that nickelodeon is
11:43 pm
going to sue for trademark infringement. >> jimmy: good one. i bet you haven't used that joke 55,000 times. they have to be kidding, right? everyone who voted to let a 34-time convicted felon off the hook is very mad about joe biden letting his son off the hook. and i -- [ applause ] by the way, i don't necessarily disagree. the guy committed crimes. but let's take a stroll through reality here. not only did trump pardon his son-in-law jared's dad who went to prison for hiring a hooker to frame his own brother-in-law, this weekend he named that same man u.s. ambassador to france. and yes, joe biden did say he wasn't going to pardon hunter. but to be fair, there's a very good chance he doesn't remember saying that. [ laughter ] of course, trump moved on this news like a bitch. he wrote, "does the pardon given by joe to hunter include the j-6 hostages, who have now been imprisoned for years?" no, it doesn't. but it'd be pretty funny if it did, right?
11:44 pm
"i hereby pardon my son hunter, and what the hell, the q-anon shaman too!" [ laughter ] trump also announced this weekend that his new senior adviser on arab and middle eastern affairs is his daughter tiffany's father-in-law. it's like he gave everyone at the dinner table on thanksgiving a position in his administration. and then we have his wacky new pick to run the fbi, kash patel. who is totally unqualified to run the fbi, but what he did do was write not one, not two, but three children's books about donald trump. >> my name is kash patel, and i have written the first ever children's russia-gate book. it's called "the plot against the king." it is the fantastical telling by me, the russiagate chief investigator under then chairman nunes about how we triumphed to put truth over evil and report the facts to the american public. please go to the link below and order your copy today. >> jimmy: yes, yes. i am a normal adult man who wrote a book in which donald trump is king and i am his
11:45 pm
wizard. for kids. specifically one 78-year-old kid. [ laughter ] my kids liked "goodnight moon." i don't know about yours. but let's take another look at kash patel, seen here right after winning the 2024 stare directly into your soul contest. oh, the q crowd must be going. every pizza place in america is about to have its doors kicked in by the fbi looking for baby meat in the pepperoni. [ laughter ] but for now it's business as usual at the white house. the first lady unveiled the decor for biden's last christmas in office. the theme this year is "peace and light." as opposed to the theme from trump's final year, which was "chaos and ketchup." [ laughter ] this is what they did in the white house. you can see it's not subtle. there are over 28,000 ornaments, 165,000 lights, and what appears to be an indoor carousel. did ai decorate the white house this year? someone had to be on mushrooms doing this. right?
11:46 pm
there is joe biden's first car. and that picture is coming down very soon, no doubt. christmas is now 23 days away. i know this because my kids ask me how many days until christmas every single day. the advent calendars are open and those accursed elves are back on the shelves. our kids are 7 and 10 years old now. we assumed that last year would be it for the elving and shelving. turns out, we were wrong. and the thing is we know they know, and they know we know that they know, but we're all still playing along with it. it's like what it must have felt like to be on o.j.'s defense team. [ laughter ] "o.j., tell me again why you had a disguise and were headed for mexico with ten thousand dollars cash? that was because you were not guilty?" okay. we have that same dynamic with shelf elves. we even have a snoop dogg elf on a shizzelf at our house. and some companies sadly bet on the wrong horse this year.
11:47 pm
one in particular has a twist on the elf on the shelf that was supposed to be the hottest toy of the season until the results of the election came in. >> who could forget the aw shucks likability of vice presidential candidate tim walz? >> we made sure that every kid in our state gets breakfast and lunch every day. >> this holiday season, bring his infectious joy into your home with tiny tim walz, the uplifting action figure whose words are like warm eggnog. >> whenever you're ready to get back in that fight, i'll be standing right here ready to fight the fight with you. >> bring america's favorite dad to your family gatherings. >> so what did you make for us today, tiny tim? >> tater tots, cream of mushroom soup, a protein, spam, a hot dish. >> no thanks. >> yes, please! >> tiny tim walz is a perfect addition to your holiday fun. >> jumping around, skipping like a dip [ bleep ]. >> yeah! >> that is weird behavior there. >> he's not wrong. >> i'm a veteran. i'm a hunter.
11:48 pm
and i was a better shot than most republicans in congress, and i got the trophies to prove it. >> okay, everyone, who wants to carve the turkey? >> whoa. >> hey, nice shooting, tiny tim. >> dress him up as governor tim, coach tim, or hunter tim, and tiny tim walz comes with a free tampon hidden in his back. >> okay. >> friendship bracelet, mini corn dog, hunting vest and trophy shotgun, coach's clipboard and caulking gun all sold separately. tampon included. >> aw. . >> good night, sweetie. >> aw. >> it's time for sleep. >> there is plenty of time to sleep when we're dead. >> five more minutes. >> yes! thanks, tiny tim. >> collect tiny tim walz and all his accessories to comfort yourself in the end times. >> available at walz-mart. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we've got a great show for you tonight. hannah einbinder is here with us. we have music from ava max. and we'll be right back with jamie lee curtis. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ]
11:49 pm
>> announcer: abc's "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by the all new electric i.d. bus. n♪ ♪ are you having any laughs? ♪ ♪ are you getting any loving? ♪ ♪ if other people do, why can't you? ♪ ♪ have a little fun ♪ ♪ and have ♪ ♪ have a little fun ♪ [hold on, i'm comin' by sam & dave plays] ♪ don't you ever be sad ♪ ♪ lean on me when times are bad ♪ ♪ when the day comes and you are down ♪ ♪ in a river of trouble and about to drown ♪ ♪ just hold on, i'm comin' ♪
11:50 pm
♪ hold on, i'm comin' ♪ [background chatter and laughter] ♪ some people just know they can save hundreds on car insurance by checking allstate first. like you know to check your school's saying first before saying it. high tide! [cheering] high tide, guys! high tide! high tide! it's “roll tide”. uh, shoot. yeah, checking first is smart. so check allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. roll tide! you're in good hands with allstate. can your pad absorb everything and stay fresh? always flexfoam can. it's the only pad made with a flexible foam core that locks in blood and sweat while the top stays dry. keeping you up to 100% leak and odor free. see what foam can do for you. ♪ like a relentless weed, moderate to severe ulcerative colitis symptoms can keep coming back. start to break away from uc with tremfya...
11:51 pm
with rapid relief at 4 weeks. tremfya blocks a key source of inflammation. at one year, many people experienced remission... and some saw 100% visible healing of their intestinal lining. serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections may occur. before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tb. tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms or if you need a vaccine. healing is possible with tremfya. ask your doctor about tremfya today. ♪ ( ♪ ) ( ♪ ) ( ♪ ) ( ♪ ) time to press rewind with... neutrogena rapid wrinkle repair. it has derm-proven retinol... ...expertly formulated... ...to target skin cell turnover...
11:52 pm
...and fights not one—but 5 signs of aging. with visible results... ...in just one week. neutrogena that grimy film on your teeth? dr. g? ♪ it's actually the buildup of plaque bacteria which can cause cavities. most toothpastes quit working in minutes. but crest pro-health's antibacterial fluoride protects all day. so it stops cavities before they start... crest. hank used to suffer from what felt like a cold & flu medicine hangover in the morning. ha ha. haha! then he switched to mucinex nightshift. mucinex is uniquely formulated to leave your system faster, so you wake up ready to go. uhh, hank! try mucinex nightshift and feel the difference.
11:53 pm
♪ >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. tonight a very funny person you know her from her multiemmy award-winning show "hacks."
11:54 pm
her stand-up special is called "everything must go." hannah einbinder is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] then later, a talented musician bringing some holiday cheer, her song is called "one wish." music from ava max. [ cheers and applause ] this week, we've got new shows with jude law, tyler perry, billy eichner, kyle mooney, anthony jeselnik, chris martin and dick van dyke will be here together. and we will have music from denzel curry and thee sacred souls. our first guest tonight is an oscar and emmy-winning actor. you can see her next in her new series "the sticky." all episodes premiere friday on prime video. please welcome jamie lee curtis. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
11:55 pm
>> you're a very funny man. very funny. >> jimmy: thank you. you're always very nice, very, very kind and i appreciate it. >> you're a good person and a funny man. >> jimmy: can i ask you a question? >> what? >> jimmy: may i ask you a question? >> what? already with the questions. answer the question. we're here. >> jimmy: okay. do you want to sit quietly for a while and kind of soak it in? [ laughter ] >> yes. let's sort of stay in quiet meditation together. what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when you come out on a stage and people are applauding, does it make you uncomfortable at all or is it something that you enjoy and take in? >> this happens every day. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] have you met my husband? >> jimmy: i met your husband. >> i know. he loves you. you love him. you have like a bromance with fishing. >> jimmy: yeah, it's more than that, really. i'm always nervous even to speak
11:56 pm
to your husband, who is christopher guest of course, the brilliant director, writer, et cetera. [ cheers ] performer. he is -- and we also happen to have a mutual love of fly fishing. i will mostly talk to him about that. >> i also am sort of into your wife who i would like to produce my entire life and the world. would she just produce america for us, please, your talented wife? >> jimmy: she produced a couple of kids who are a bit unruly. >> okay, okay. >> jimmy: so you might want to -- >> i'm quite fond of her. >> jimmy: well, thank you. that's very nice. >> what? >> jimmy: there is no but. >> you're going ask me a question. i know it. i can feel it in my gut. my cinched gut with peplum. >> jimmy: you and christopher have a big anniversary coming up? >> yes, we do. >> jimmy: in what, three weeks? >> yes. on the 18th of december, if all goes well, we will have been married 40 years. >> jimmy: 40 years. [ cheers and applause ]
11:57 pm
this is great. >> that's worth shopping for, you know what? that is worth clapping for. >> jimmy: may i ask how he proposed to you 41 years ago? >> no. as you know, we didn't know each other well. i saw his picture in a magazine and i called his agent and left my number. he never called me. we ran into each other at a restaurant. he kind of went like this. i went like this. he called me the next day. we went out. three months later -- no, three weeks later. i think it was a month later. in fact, i just went through some files, and i found the receipt of when he went into cartier to buy this very ring on my finger. and i know this because he was shooting "saturday night live" in new york. i was shooting a movie "perfect." i was on something called a pay phone -- [ laughter ] where you put quarters in. and we were -- you know, he was in new york at 30 rock.
11:58 pm
and i remember we were speaking. and i said what did you do today? he said i went for a walk. i said, oh, cool. where did you go? he goes, fifth avenue. i said, nice. where? he said i went into cartier. and then in typical boy fashion, "do you like diamonds?" [ laughter ] now, i'm telling this true. yes. then he came out to los angeles. >> jimmy: that was how he proposed? >> well, no. he proposed in a more private and intimate way, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: i see. was he being coy when he said do you like diamonds? >> he is just that guy. and the truth is he told this story to his best friend david nictern the other day. he literally walked in, and the woman behind the counter was like hi, can i help you? and he was like oh, yeah, i need a ring. and she said what -- and he goes like that one. and she said oh, that one right there? what size? and he goes -- that one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, we don't know
11:59 pm
anything. and that's the same one. >> and that's how clueless he was about those finer parts of the marital industrial complex, which is in itself insane. >> jimmy: all the dumb things we learn in school, there should be at least a couple of days dedicated to how to go about that. >> yes. well, now there is plenty of youtube videos. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess. >> by the way, just so you know, i'm quite fond of flash mob proposals. my vote is flash mob. >> jimmy: flash mob? okay. >> i weep like a scared child, i weep, whenever i see a flash mob. >> jimmy: flash mob better than pay phone? >> i just think they're so beautiful. they kill me. >> jimmy: really? >> they absolutely -- i am such a soft spot for a flash mob. >> jimmy: for a flash mob. a bunch of strangers participating. >> i'm surprised my husband didn't arrange one here. >> jimmy: maybe for your 40th. will you celebrate?
12:00 am
will you have a thing, like a party or a trip? >> no. have you met chris? no. we're not going to -- no, we did a trip when we had our 30th wedding anniversary. we don't have a lot in common, but we both -- [ laughter ] but we both like adventure stories and we like adventures. and we both love lewis and clark. so for our 30th wedding anniversary, there is a book called "undaunted courage" about their journey. and we retraced four days on the missouri river with eight friends in two-man canoes. we did four days on the missouri river retracing lewis and clark's trip at the white cliffs. >> jimmy: was it fun? >> yes, jimmy kimmel, yes. >> jimmy: it seems like that kind of thing -- >> it was fabulous. >> jimmy: i bet lewis and clark didn't have fun. >> they had great times. and the truth is what you need to know about lewis and clark and shackleton, ernest
12:01 am
shackleton, one of the great explorers, nobody died. and i'm not being silly. i know it's a comedy show -- >> jimmy: because we haven't heard of the ones who died. the ones who died, died. >> they didn't die. they took all those people across california and back. nobody died. on shackleton's adventure, that frozen ship and all those guys having to get off the frozen ship, nobody died. >> jimmy: right. >> leadership! [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. also, no dysentery, which is lucky, i guess. and no venereal diseases spreading it around to the local natives, et cetera. those were the things. did you guys do any of that? >> you're very handsome. you know what? you're very, very handsome. >> jimmy: you're making me blush. >> i am making you blush because i'm telling you, once in a while, when you really look at someone and you're not trying to do predigested comedy bits, you're a very handsome man. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. [ cheers and applause ]
12:02 am
let's take a break. jamie lee curtis is here and we'll be right back. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ludicrous! alright, who called for ludacris? sorry, we meant this is ludicrous. oh you don't tell ludacris what's ludicrous, ludacris tells you what's ludicrous. okay. [faucet further breaks] oh, that is ludicrous. you don't need me for this, hang on. ♪like a good neighbor, state farm is there.♪ good thing you have state farm. just file a claim on the app, or call us. guess i can go. don't you mean roll out? no i don't. like a good neighbor, state farm is there. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ("stayin' alive" by bee gees) ♪ ♪ ♪
12:03 am
♪ what's in your wallet? ♪ -bye honey. -(groans) morning breath, huh. dr. garcia? wooo. ♪ that's millions of bacteria growing overnight. crest pro-health helps prevent oral health issues before they start. i'm so much fresher. crest.
12:04 am
12:05 am
12:06 am
$150 million worth of maple syrup just sitting in the woods. >> well, not technically the woods. >> with just him and some other guy guarding it? wow.
12:07 am
wow. i mean lollipop, this is way better than your usual. >> it's good. it's real, and it's mine. >> i don't think so. i mean, i think it's hers. so what's the plan-el, flannel? i love a good heist. >> jimmy: that is jamie lee curtis in "the sticky." it premieres friday. [ cheers and applause ] >> this is as weird a story as you could ever want. in 2011, $18 million worth of maple syrup was stolen from the federation of maple syrup producers in canada, and the only reason they found it out is because in the huge white barrels that are in these football field-sized warehouses, there was condensation. and maple syrup doesn't condense. when they opened it up, it had water. someone had drained them. so these very funny writers ed and brian wrote a show called "the sticky" about what they think happened. >> jimmy: i remember this story. >> which is bumbling -- it's sort of "fargo"esque.
12:08 am
margo martindale stars in it as the wife of a maple syrup farmer. she needs the help of this low-level mob guy, chris deomotapolous. and the security guard at the place, guillaume sere, and they form a sort of three stooges caper people, and that's what that show's about. it starts on friday. >> jimmy: you play -- you have -- your character is mob-related as well. >> let me just tell you something. >> jimmy: go ahead. >> mommy wants to be a producer. mommy would like to stop putting on the gear. >> jimmy: okay. >> it's fine. i do it well. but honestly -- >> jimmy: i know a lady named tiny who is still throwing luggage in the planes. but, yeah. so i understand where you're coming from. [ laughter ] >> okay. my point is this. i'm trying to produce things. i'm trying to be a boss, not be in them. so i'm the boss.
12:09 am
i'm a producer on the show. and then i won an oscar. and what happened is -- >> jimmy: yes, you did. and an emmy. and an oscar. [ cheers and applause ] >> but what happened was they called after the oscar surprise and said hey, hey, producer, we'd love it if you'd do an episode. and i was oh, sure, yeah, sure. what's left? and who's left in the cast yet? they said well, the only guest star part is the part of the mob hit man who comes from boston to kind of break the kneecaps of that low level mobster, the guy who says it was his plan. and i said oh, what's his name? he said bo. i said perfect. i'll be bo. but she's like bo peep. and i said i will do it but i'm going to gild the lily. and how i'm going to gild the lily is this. she's a hit man, or hit woman.
12:10 am
you never see them hurt. you always see these hitmen in movies, and they're always perfect. and they never have any scars. they're smooth operators. the truth is they kill for a business, and people fight back. i said she's had her knee blown out three times. i said she walks with a limp and a cane. and she's been in a bar fight, and i want a scar from here to here. i said if i'm going play a hit person, i'm going to look like a real bad-ass person. and that is what i look like. >> jimmy: like a stray cat. [ cheering and applause ] yeah. and you also have this movie with pamela anderson called "the last showgirl." >> yes. which is why i'm wearing glitter on my eyes. >> jimmy: oh, you are. >> i did a little glitter on my eyes to support "the last showgirl" which is a beautiful little movie about what happens to women in vegas. i play an ex-showgirl, pamela, her show.
12:11 am
i'm an ex-showgirl. i'm what they call a bever-tainer which is a cocktail waitress who dances. pamela is in one of the last great revues as it's closing. and sort of what happens to -- what was beautiful about vegas, which were showgirls were ambassadors and it was a beautiful time. and of course now vegas is nothing but a slutty circus. and -- >> jimmy: you make that sound like it's a bad thing. [ laughter ] >> it's a sad kind of turn. >> jimmy: right. >> that vegas has taken. i'll never be invited now. >> jimmy: you know, i grew up in las vegas, yeah. >> i'm so sorry. [ laughter ] did you know showgirls? >> jimmy: i do know some showgirls, yeah. >> and they were ambassadors. >> jimmy: no, not really. [ laughter ] >> very mean. that's very mean. >> jimmy: it wasn't mean. it was, you know, like a neighbor. neighbors is really what they were. they were neighbors. >> but they were gorgeous. >> jimmy: yeah, sure, yes.
12:12 am
>> gorgeous performers. >> jimmy: yes. >> and it's an homage to a time gone by. >> jimmy: yes. >> it's a little movie directed by gia coppola. >> jimmy: i've heard the name. yeah. that's nice. the coppola family. it's great to have you here. >> i like you so much. >> jimmy: i want to show this clip so badly but i feel like we're out of time. >> you know what we have to talk about? >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, we do have to talk about that. thank you for reminding me. >> tomorrow is -- >> jimmy: giving tuesday. >> giving tuesday. we both support children's hospital los angeles. >> jimmy: that's right. >> which is beautiful. [ applause ] i also run a little charity called my hand in yours. we offer this beautiful warming pup, which is my paw in yours. and if you donate $35 or more to the hospital, a patient at the hospital will be given one of the warming pups which you can microwave, the little pouch inside. not the whole puppy. and then the children will be able to clutch it and it's super soft from warm buddies. >> jimmy: yes.
12:13 am
>> that's what we need to do tomorrow. tomorrow is a day to give, everybody. >> jimmy: and they can go on your website? >> they can go in my hand in yours. they can go to children's hospital of los angeles, chla. as you know, jimmy is an incredible, incredible partner for the work that they do there. >> jimmy: well, they do great stuff. [ applause ] >> jimmy and his family and their beautiful child and my hand in yours and the warming pups go to children's hospital los angeles. my hand in yours.com. goodbye, everybody. god bless you. >> jimmy: jamie lee curtis, everybody. "the sticky" premieres friday on prime video and "the last showgirl" opens in select theaters december 13th, nationwide january 10th. we'll be back with hannah einbinder. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] dave plays] & ♪ don't you ever be sad ♪ ♪ lean on me when times are bad ♪ ♪ when the day comes and you are down ♪
12:14 am
♪ in a river of trouble and about to drown ♪ ♪ just hold on, i'm comin' ♪ ♪ hold on, i'm comin' ♪ [background chatter and laughter] (music plays throughout) there it is. all the parts you need, guaranteed to fit every time. ebay. things. people. love.
12:15 am
if you're living with hiv, imagine being good to go without daily hiv pills. ♪ good to go binge-watch. ♪ good to go out even later. ♪ with cabenuva, there's no pausing for daily hiv pills. for adults who are undetectable, cabenuva is the only complete, long-acting hiv treatment you can get every other month. it's two injections from a healthcare provider, as few as 6 times a year. don't take cabenuva if you're allergic to its ingredients, or taking certain medicines, that may interact. serious side effects include allergic reactions or rash, post-injection reactions, liver problems, and depression. if these occur, get medical help right away. tell your doctor about your medicines or supplements, medical conditions, liver or kidney problems, mental health, pregnancy, and breastfeeding. the most common side effect is injection site reaction ♪ with cabenuva, you're good to go. without daily hiv pills. talk to your doctor about switching.
12:16 am
can your pad flex with you without shifting? always flexfoam can. it's the only pad made with a flexible foam core with wings that fit securely for up to zero bunching and zero leaks. can your pad do that? see what foam can do for you. time to press rewind with... neutrogena rapid wrinkle repair. it has derm-proven retinol... ...expertly formulated... ...to target skin cell turnover... ...and fights not one—but 5 signs of aging. with visible results... ...in just one week. neutrogena vision insurance doesn't do you any good if you don't use it. just like this treadmill i bought, that i keep saying that i'll use... ...but never do. yeah. with hundreds of frames to choose from, you can put your vision insurance to good use — at america's best. book an exam today. [birds chirping] [dog growls] ♪ ♪ who knows what tomorrow ♪ ♪ will bring ♪ [dog barking] ♪ maybe sunshine, ♪ [dog whining]
12:17 am
♪ and maybe rain ♪ ♪ but as for me ♪ ♪ i'll wait and see ♪ [knock at door] ♪ and maybe it'll bring my love to me ♪ ♪ who knows ♪ ♪ who knows ♪ ♪ i give up my bespoke shaving subscription. and i'll stop ordering everything ♪ who knows ♪ that's trending on instagram. and i will no longer dress the dog in cute little sweaters. you know, you don't have to make sacrifices now that you're saving money with the progressive home and auto bundle. you couldn't have said that like 6 seconds ago? ♪ vicks vapostick provides soothing non-medicated vicks vapors. easy to apply for the whole family. vicks vapostick. and try new vaposhower max for steamy vicks vapors.
12:18 am
12:19 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] plaque ps my skin was no longer mine. my active psoriatic arthritis joint symptoms held me back. don't let symptoms define you...
12:20 am
emerge as you, with clearer skin. with tremfya®, most people saw 100% clear skin... ...that stayed clear, even at 5 years. tremfya® is proven to significantly reduce joint pain, stiffness, and swelling. serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections may occur. before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tb. tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms or if you need a vaccine. emerge as you with clear skin. ask your doctor about tremfya®. ♪ can your pad absorb everything and stay fresh? always flexfoam can. it's the only pad made with a flexible foam core that locks in blood and sweat while the top stays dry. keeping you up to 100% leak and odor free. see what foam can do for you. [car horn] i'm the team mascot, and boy, am i running late. but i've got lead in my foot and spirit in my fingers. [cheering] [car rev]
12:21 am
ha, ha, what a hit! and if you don't have the right auto insurance coverage, the cost to cover that... might tank your season. ♪ so get allstate, save money on auto insurance and be protected from mayhem, like me. [whoo] [cheering] mmm, savory, juicy and hold up— it's got hidden valley ranch seasoning? nice. [oven dings] crispy, zesty, ranchy perfection. hidden valley ranch. only serious about flavor. dry skin is sensitive skin, too. and it's natural. treat it that way. aveeno® daily moisture with prebiotic oat is proven to moisturize dry skin all day. you'll love our formula for face, too. aveeno®
12:22 am
emergen-c crystals pop and fizz when you throw them back. and who doesn't love a good throwback? ♪ now with vitamin d for the dark days of winter. ♪ ("stayin' alive" by bee gees) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ what's in your wallet? ♪ ♪ ♪
12:23 am
♪ (music plays throughout) ok, ebay. the place for pre-loved and vintage fashion. ebay. things. people. love. can you save water using a less than full dishwasher? we do it every night... do it with cascade platinum plus. one load of dishes in the sink uses 24 gallons of water while a dishwasher uses less than 4 per cycle. so do it with cascade... the surprising way to save water. time to press rewind with... neutrogena rapid wrinkle repair. it has derm-proven retinol... ...expertly formulated... ...to target skin cell turnover... ...and fights not one—but 5 signs of aging. with visible results... ...in just one week. neutrogena
12:24 am
♪ >> jimmy: music from ava max is on the way. our next guest is a three-time emmy nominee for her critically-beloved show "hacks"
12:25 am
and she has a stand-up comedy special, "hannah einbinder: everything must go." both are on max now. please welcome hannah einbinder. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ well, it's very good to see you. and i heard the last time you were here you were secretly not feeling well. >> i was ill, jimmy. that's right. >> jimmy: what was going on? >> so i had a crazy stomachache the last time i did this show. and i was doubled over in pain, truly. and the next morning i would go on to test positive for e. coli. i had e. coli -- yeah, maybe a ♪ little dramatic. >> jimmy: but really, you kept it together? >> oh, it was insane. there is like an area right here. and i was truly doubled over completely in pain.
12:26 am
and all i heard was "ladies and gentlemen, please welcome hannah einbinder." and i was like -- >> jimmy: wow. >> truly. >> jimmy: you are a pro. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't know that at all. maybe if i'd known it, i would have brought it up. it's probably best i didn't. we did extract a still moment from that and it does seem like you do have kind of a grip on the chair like we're on a flight that's gone bad or something. >> the plane's going down. that's really horrifying. >> jimmy: we can see that even just now, i can see you are much more relaxed than you were. >> see that? this is a well person. that is sickness. >> jimmy: yeah. really sick? you got very, very sick? >> oh, yeah, it was bad. i was bad. it was about a seven-day ordeal. >> jimmy: oh, boy. and you don't have any idea how you got it? >> i was in new york. i probably touched the pole on the train and licked my hand. [ laughter ] classic stuff, you know.
12:27 am
>> jimmy: how was thanksgiving? you get any e. coli there? [ laughter ] >> it was great. thanksgiving was cool. >> jimmy: who did you spend thanksgiving with? >> it was me, my mom, my dad, my stepmom, my stepmom's ex-husband, and his girlfriend. >> jimmy: what? >> yeah. my family is what conservatives fear will happen to america. [ laughter ] and it's rocking. it's fun. >> jimmy: is it? >> yeah. we eat. we chill. we sit on the couch, listen to like a beatles demo on vinyl. my mom's like talking to my stepmom's ex-husband, being you think that's metal string or nylon? they're just chilling. they're really -- >> jimmy: wow, that's very different. we watch football, yeah. >> my parents -- my dad and stepmom go to burning man. that's the energy in my home. >> jimmy: they do? oh. when parents do that kind of
12:28 am
thing, do you then counter by being more conservative? >> yeah, i've got to be serious to rebel. >> jimmy: yeah. it's interesting, how it kind of goes back and forth. but everyone gets along? >> yeah, it's chill. >> jimmy: like maybe they shouldn't even have broken up in the first place gets along? >> well, i wouldn't go that far. [ laughter ] you -- >> jimmy: is the e. coli coming on again? >> just the mania. >> jimmy: you were shooting "hacks" today, right? >> that's right, yeah. >> jimmy: how is that going? [ cheers and applause ] this is the fourth season of the show. >> fourth season. yeah, it's going great. >> jimmy: did you ever on your vision board imagine that this would go so well? >> i didn't. i don't know that i could have ever expected this. it's kind of like the most iconic dream come true. a dream so audacious, i don't even think i would have even dreamed it. >> jimmy: this is your first show, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: to have this happen is very rare. >> it's so rare. i was just doing stand-up
12:29 am
before. it all happened very quickly and very [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and it seems like it's a fun place to work. >> totally. >> jimmy: jean smart, your co-star. >> give it up! [ cheering ] >> jimmy: seems great. >> she is the best. >> jimmy: and your coworkers, this is a photograph from halloween. >> yeah. >> jimmy: dressed as your character, ava. >> yeah. >> jimmy: all of them. >> this is the camera team on "hacks." they dressed up as ava. besides jemel who went as deborah. but this is my beloved camera team. they are just the most incredible individuals. >> jimmy: this is not a wig, is it? this is just her hair. >> jordan has the red hair. so i think she was going au naturel. >> jimmy: yeah. she copped out in a lot of ways. >> jordan, i'm sorry. >> jimmy: she could have gotten some of that hair chopped off
12:30 am
for this. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and your stand-up comedy special is not the usual stand-up comedy special in that typically it would just be somebody on stage talking and telling jokes. but you have vignettes throughout. there are songs. there's -- you do impressions. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but not celebrity impressions. >> no. i have an impression of the earth, the sun, and the moon in my special. so, yeah, just alternative comedy, very experimental niche you could argue. check it out and bring it up. and if someone is oh, i haven't seen it, make them feel bad, i think. >> jimmy: yeah, act cooler than they are. that's the way to go. >> you must. >> jimmy: that's the way your mom and dad and stepmom and her husband and his ex-wife would want it, you know. >> that's the way my, yeah, parental team want it. >> jimmy: that's something else.
12:31 am
that really is crazy. i'm just trying to imagine what that must have been like sitting around that table. are there topics that you guys just won't go into? >> i mean, we're pretty much like on the same page politically. >> jimmy: you are. >> it's less like a bernie -- freudian slip. i wish it was him. less like a biden-trump conversation and more like a lennon-mccartney feud. who's your guy? >> jimmy: did you ever figure out the strings question as far as whether they were metal or not? >> metal. >> jimmy: metal. okay. >> metal for sure. >> jimmy: well, it's great to see you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you know "hacks" and "hannah einbinder: everything must go" both on max right now. hannah einbinder, thanks for being here. we'll be back with ava max. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:32 am
12:33 am
>> jimmy: i want to thank jamie lee curtis and hannah einbinder. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. we'll try to get him on in the coming year. "nightline" is next, but first, kicking off december with her holiday song "one wish," ava max! [ cheering and applause ] ♪
12:34 am
♪ i've got one wish, every day could feel like christmas ♪ ♪ all that i need is sleigh bells reindeer and mistletoe ♪ ♪ making angels out in the snow i got one wish every day could feel ♪ ♪ like christmas all that i need is sleigh bells reindeer ♪ ♪ and mistletoe making angels out in the snow i got one wish santa ♪ ♪ i don't have a long list all that i need is ♪ ♪ tree lights hear that jingle bell play and the way i'm feelin ♪ ♪ on christmas day there ain't no silent night ♪ ♪ cause everybody's merry and bright and all o-over ♪ ♪ the neighborhood they got lights up and feeling good ♪ ♪ with parties and cherry wine with all the stockings ♪
12:35 am
♪ up by the fire and warm nights and family yeah ♪ ♪ that's what it means to me so santa if you're listenin ♪ ♪ tonight i got one wish ♪ ♪ every day could feel like christmas all that i need is ♪ ♪ sleigh bells reindeer and mistletoe ♪ ♪ making angels out in the snow i got one wish santa ♪ ♪ i don't have a long list all that i need is ♪ ♪ tree lights hear that jingle bell play and the way i'm feelin on christmas day ♪ ♪ one wish oh i got one wish oh i got one wish ♪ ♪ oh i got one wish that every day could feel like christmas ♪ ♪ i hear the choirs singin and i feel that ♪ ♪ magic beginning all the happiness in the air ♪
12:36 am
♪ candy and gingerbread so santa if you're listening tonight ♪ ♪ i got one wish every day could feel like christmas ♪ ♪ all that i need is sleigh bells reindeer ♪ ♪ and mistletoe making angels out in the snow i got one wish santa ♪ ♪ i don't have a long list all that i need is tree lights ♪ ♪ hear that jingle bell play and the way i'm feelin on christmas day ♪ ♪ oh i got one wish oh i got one wish oh that every day ♪ ♪ could feel like christmas ♪ ♪ oh, oh ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ that every day could feel like christmas ♪
12:37 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> thank you so much. ♪ this is nightline. tonight, the glam ma makeover. >> when you're this young and this fabulous, it's called glam mom. >> real housewives star nene leakes may have coined the phrase, but more and more women are saying they want to look as good as they

0 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on