new year. new year. shanghai is now lit up with colorful lanterns celebrating the year of the snake. we are less than a month out to san francisco's iconic chinese new year parade, sponsored by toyota. you'll be able to watch live right here and everywhere you stream abc7. thanks for watching. i'm ama daetz. >> and i'm dan ashley. we >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- james marsden, fortune feimster, and music from hurray for the

riff raff. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. very nice. thank you. thank you very much. appreciate that. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for joining us here live and in person in hollywood, california. please relax. i don't know if you know, this is one of our most-anticipated days of the year in hollywood. the nominations for the 97th academy awards. after a shaky couple of weeks, we finally have some good news. the list of oscar nominees is out, and matt damon isn't on it. again. [ laughter ] it's the little things that keep me going. the most-nominated film is "emilia perez." it got 13 nominations.

i liked that movie a lot. [ cheers and applause ] if you haven't seen it, it's basically a musical about if caitlyn jenner ran a drug cartel. [ laughter ] very good, though. there are several first-time acting nominees, including demi moore, kieran culkin, ariana grande, zoe saldana and sebastian stan up for best actor for his role in "the apprentice." where he played the donald trump melania wishes she was married to. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i've heard a number of people saying the oscars should be canceled because of the fires. i disagree. that would put thousands of people out of work. people who work at the show, at the parties, valets, security guards, the guy who works the mani-cam at "e!" [ laughter ] you think that guy gets enough work the rest of the year? no! [ laughter ] the show must go on. there's no question we've had a devastating month, but we're slowly getting back to doing what we do best, which is giving

awards to movies no one has ever heard of or seen. [ laughter ] [ applause ] we had some new wildfires pop up last night, which is very l.a. we've already moved on to a younger, hotter fire. [ laughter ] what they are calling the hughes fire, which is happening north of us, near castaic lake, has burned more than 10,000 acres in less than 24 hours. last night, before the show, all of a sudden, four different people came to me and said, "hey, guillermo is worried he might have to evacuate." i said, "oh, no." so i got my phone, i looked at the map. and the fire was so far from guillermo's house, i couldn't even widen out far enough to get them in the same screen. [ laughter ] i could see the outline of the whole state. i'm thinking, "what is he worried about?" and then i realized, "guillermo's worried he might have to evacuate" was code for "guillermo wants to go home early tonight."

[ laughter and applause ] true? >> guillermo: it is true, yes. >> jimmy: someone came in and said, "guillermo said he lives 30 minutes from the fire!" i was like, wait, what? yeah, he lives 30 minutes from the fire. [ laughter ] we are 40 minutes from disneyland! if space mountain catches fire, i'm not evacuating the studio. [ laughter ] fortunately, our firefighters are doing a great job. [ cheers and applause ] they've been bombing that fire with water, it's so fun to watch. living in l.a. right now is like living with herpes. you can think it's under control, but you have no idea when it's gonna flare up. [ laughter ] the good news is we are finally supposed to get some rain this weekend. we are in the midst of a record dry spell. we've been having dry january since may. for 262 days, l.a. has been drier than kanye's eyes at a screening of "schindler's list." [ laughter ] [ rim shot ]

i looked up what was going on. the last time it rained here, it was the same day we learned that rfk, during his divorce negotiation, told his ex-wife's lawyers that a worm ate part of his brain. [ laughter ] he said his doctor found a dead parasite in his head. and now he's going to be in charge of health and human services for the whole country. tomorrow, president trump is visiting l.a. [ boos ] he's coming to l.a. -- well, he's here to blame us for the fires in person. [ laughter ] it's the first time in history that a natural disaster will be visited by an even bigger natural disaster. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he's coming to survey the damage i guess, meet with the governor. mostly to get away from elon for a couple of days. [ laughter ] you know, we knew donald trump was going to be terrible. when i say "we," i mean "us." [ laughter ] we didn't know he would be so

terrible that he would actually threaten to not help us in an emergency situation if he doesn't get what he wants. >> i don't think we should give california anything until they let water flow down -- >> north to the south. >> it's a political thing, i don't know what it is. they talk about the delta smelt. a little tiny fish like this. endangered species. no wonder it's enquaenged, it's not getting any water. if you have a fish and you're stopping the water, isn't that going to hurt the fish? [ laughter ] [ moans ] >> jimmy: great point, jockoff cousteau. [ laughter and applause ] this has nothing to do with the fish. he is so ridiculous. and we have to sit around with the place on fire, hoping he gives us our own money back. trump and his minions are planning to leverage any federal aid they might give, to force to us help him round up and deport our neighbors. as if we're eric, and he's cutting off our allowance. to teach us some kind of a lesson. which, on one hand, you might think, "wow, only a truly

despicable human being would use disaster relief money as a bargaining chip," but on the other hand -- there is no other hand. it's just that hand. [ laughter ] [ applause ] that grubby, grabby little hand. trump blathered extensively with sean hannity last night. they got into all the important subjects your grandpa suffering from dementia likes to see covered. [ laughter ] including the ongoing liberal campaign to steal your child's penis! >> they want a child to leave home as a boy, to come back two days later as a girl. a parent doesn't want to see that. and there are states where that can happen. >> jimmy: that's right. [ laughter ] some states they do it multiple times per week. [ laughter ] i know a kid named ryan, came to school, came home rihanna. thursday, rihanna went back to school and she's ryan again. and nobody knows what to buy her at marshall's.

there are states -- no, there are no states where that can happen. trump has issued a number of executive orders. some of them are awful, some are just blatantly unconstitutional, but one of them, i have to admit, i'm a little bit excited about. >> lastly, sir, we have an executive order ordering the declassification of files relating to the assassinations of president john f. kennedy, senator robert f. kennedy, and the reverend dr. martin luther king jr. >> that's a big one, huh? a lot of people are waiting for this for years. for decades. and everything will be revealed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ten bucks says we're gonna find out joe biden killed jfk. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jfk, rfk, martin luther king. he's also planning to declassify

the kfc files. [ laughter ] finally get to the bottom of those secret herbs and spices. meanwhile, the republican-led congress is hard at work on another mystery to find out what happened on january 6th. yesterday, house republicans announced they have formed a subcommittee to re-investigate what has already been investigated. in other words, get ready for a whole year of numbskulls trying to convince us nancy pelosi pooped in her own desk. [ laughter ] the mission of the subcommittee is to, quote, "uncover the full truth about what went down at the capitol." yes, we need to get the real story of what happened there. please, if anyone has any information about this globally-televised event, you must come forward! [ laughter ] immediately share it with us. [ applause ] we know who's responsible for january 6th. he's sitting in the oval office right now playing whac-a-mole with his diet coke button, okay? [ laughter ] i can't wait to see what they come up with. they'll probably make it a holiday. from now on, january 6th will be

known as national patriotic parkour day. [ laughter ] [ applause ] the subcommittee will be led by barry loudermilk of georgia, who was the guy who gave a tour of the capitol to a group of insurrectionists the day before they busted down the doors. it's like putting the hamburglar in charge of finding out who stole all the big macs. [ laughter ] meanwhile, in ohio, they're eating the cats and dogs! and no one is doing anything about it! [ laughter ] [ applause ] there is so much dumb happening. it's almost funny to hear these dimwits go on and on about the biased left-wing media when we've reached the point that, even when it comes to christianity, trump now ranks higher to them than the pope. >> the cardinal out in the chicago area said, we oppose any mass deportations. yeah, do you? the pope. date before trump was inaugurated said trump's plan to

deport migrants was a displace. all right, padre, no disrespect to the position of the pope, but you are way off base here, dude. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, bro, and your hat sucks, too! [ laughter ] it's pointy and stupid! everyone should be required to have their i.q. posted right next to their name. [ laughter ] like that guy? carl higbie, 86. right? [ laughter ] that way, we know where you're coming from when you say these things. meanwhile, you know who is in california right now? the bidens are here. after the inauguration, joe and dr. jill took a trip to wine country to relax and enjoy their new favorite pastime, drinking heavily. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] which brings us to pete hegseth. [ laughter ] in spite of all the many serious allegations against him, and a resume that wouldn't get him a job running a home depot, pete hegseth will very likely be our next secretary of defense. he has the votes in the senate. trump has now tapped a total of

at least 18 members of fox news people to be part of his administration. which is a lot of people. most of them host shows on fox news, which is causing problems over there, because they now suddenly have a major shortage of on-air talent. >> this is a fox news special report. [ laughter ] >> you're watching "the carlos report." sprinkles are making your children gay? i don't know, maybe. president trump announced his nominee for secretary of the navy? it's me? [ laughter ] it's me? it's me. >> this has been a fox news special report.

>> watch this commercial to give you the best price ever on the best mattress top ever. >> jimmy: wow, poor mike. [ laughter ] next time you say you have to go home and evacuate, remember, we got carlos standing by, okay? >> guillermo: okay, whatever you say. >> jimmy: we've got a funny show for you tonight. fortune feimster is here. we have music from hooray for the riff raff. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll be right back with james marsden. so stick around!

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight, she has a very funny stand-up special called "crushing it." fortune feimster is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, a band from new orleans. this is their album, "the past

is still alive." hooray for the riff raff. [ cheers and applause ] next week, we have new shows with great guests. cynthia erivo, pamela anderson, katy perry, rob mcelhenney, noah centineo, will sasso and the one and only ringo starr will be here with us. [ cheers and applause ] which is always exciting. >> guillermo: i'm excited. >> jimmy: guillermo? what band was ringo starr in? the first band he was in. >> guillermo: the beatles. >> jimmy: very good. you know that. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and we'll have music from riley green, nessa and simple minds will be here too. [ applause ] our first guest tonight is one of the few movie and tv stars to have co-starred with wolverine, sonic the hedgehog, and the easter bunny, too. he plays a free-wheeling u.s. president in the series "paradise." it premieres tuesday on hulu. please welcome james marsden. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> very nice of you, very nice of you. >> jimmy: mr. president, welcome. it must be kind of cool -- >> cue the laugh track. >> jimmy: -- to be a tv president, right? >> uh, yeah. no pressure there. >> jimmy: i guess there's no difference now between a tv president and the president, is there? >> no, no, no, the answer is no. >> jimmy: how are you? >> we're good. >> jimmy: do you remember where we met? >> we met on a plane to vegas, i believe. >> jimmy: that's right. maybe back from vegas? >> i think it was going too, yeah. >> jimmy: a charity event. >> we wouldn't have remembered if we were coming back. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i remember we had a very nice conversation. >> going for a charity event, had a nice conversation. i think i plopped myself in front of your chair, i'm going to make this guy like me. [ laughter ] i feel like we need to be friends. that you know i'm worthy?

did you have that feeling? you didn't give me your phone number or anything like that. >> it's all instagram now. >> jimmy: listen, i don't mean to tell you how to live your life. [ laughter ] but if you're going to make a friend, you should in some way contact that friend after. did you just assume i would find you? [ laughter ] >> you ran away from me when we landed. >> jimmy: oh, i did? >> that was tricky. >> jimmy: okay. >> i wanted to give you my phone number. >> jimmy: there were probably screaming teenage girls i had to get to. [ laughter ] >> i think that's what it was. >> jimmy: i grew up in las vegas. i probably mentioned that when we were there. you grew up in? >> oklahoma. >> jimmy: oklahoma, wow. >> different than vegas. >> jimmy: very different, everything's very different than vegas. >> it was good. >> jimmy: also, like in oklahoma -- here we have -- the fires, obviously. we have earthquakes. you have something my son talks about a lot. these tornados are on his mind often. >> yeah. did he see "twister"? >> jimmy: he didn't see "twister." he's only 7 years old. he thinks about tornados a lot, he draws them. >> they're fascinating, right?

>> jimmy: they are. >> they come out of nowhere and take up houses. really scary. way got used to it growing up. you've been in -- >> i've seen a few. i wasn't one of the chasers to go after them. i've been driving with a few in my rear-view mirror, actually. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: what does that feel like? do you step on it? >> you step on it, then you kind of let it get a little close. [ laughter ] then you step on it, then a little close. you step on it. no, don't listen to what i'm saying. [ laughter ] i was doing a tv movie there at the time. this is like 1964, i think. [ laughter ] it was the ambush in waco. >> jimmy: he played david koresh. >> i was one of the fbi agents, two lines or something. >> jimmy: wow. >> when we wrapped, i drove -- shooting tulsa, i drove back to my home in oklahoma city. there were two tornados in my rear-view mirror as i was leaving. that's how we do wrap parties in oklahoma. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you can't really -- i guess you could

drive away from them, but also, you don't know where they're going. >> don't know where they're going. >> jimmy: they don't stick to the road, they'll go anywhere. >> there's no rhyme or reason, they don't have a plan. >> jimmy: when you were a kid did they teach you how to avoid them? >> well, we -- i just remember my mother picking up me and my two brothers and putting us in the bathtub with no water. wait, why are we -- strange areas of the house that i guess give you an illusion of safety. >> jimmy: yeah, forgive me if i'm ignorant, i've never lived anywhere where there are tornados. why would you get in the bathtub with no water? >> yeah, right, because it would be heavier for the tornado to take it away. >> jimmy: you're not supposed to? your mom just thought, this is a good idea? >> yeah, i don't know why it was. why did she put me in there? i think it was the area of the house or something, i don't know. we didn't even get the bath. >> jimmy: i was wondering, because at the end of the "wolverine and deadpool" movie,

they had the old clips of the x-men. you played cyclops. [ cheers and applause ] everyone got very excited about what that meant. what kind of clues we were being given there. what did that mean what kind of clues were we being given there? >> i don't know. i think i was in the same boat. i was looking for clues myself. i don't know. i actually didn't know i was going to be in the -- >> jimmy: is that true? >> yeah, it's very true. >> jimmy: don't they have -- >> i speak with truth about everything in this universe. >> jimmy: interesting. >> because otherwise people go nuts speculating. >> jimmy: somebody called you, "we're going to put clips of you in the movie"? >> no, i heard about it. i heard it was going to happen but it wasn't like, hey, if you don't mind -- maybe i did sign something along the way. [ laughter ] it excited me. it was always -- i look back on that with great fun. >> jimmy: there has to be something. there's no way they just put that in there, yeah, forget it. you know what i mean? >> sounds like you're going to a little fishing expedition. >> jimmy: well, yeah.

[ laughter ] if you haven't been informed of anything, let's fish together is what i'm saying. >> yeah, right, why don't we? >> jimmy: let's think this through. >> there has to be a purpose. >> jimmy: they think everything through. there are never weird, loose ends in these marvel movies. they wouldn't just put that clip in there and then never -- not call you. what i'm saying is, you've got to be ready. do you still have the goggles? or the visor? >> they may have dust on them, but yeah. in storage somewhere. >> jimmy: you don't have them mounted in your home? >> no. >> jimmy: oh, wow. [ laughter ] >> no. no, that would be too hopeful. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i loved the x-men and all that stuff when i was a kid reading comic books. who are the weirder -- who has the weirder fan base? the "sonic the hedgehog" people? [ laughter ] or the comics, the "x-men" comics people? >> both are very passionate fans. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> strange encounters with fans. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yes.

>> i did this -- neither one of them, for me. i did this movie called "hairspray." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: really? that's the one? >> yeah. r and i had -- i didn't even know if i should tell this story. i was at a hollywood event, brought my son with me. i ran into a friend of mine, and his at the time fiancee -- i knew him pretty well. i didn't know her that well. she had a couple of drinks. she turned am to me, "i have a confession." and i said, "oh-oh, can my son hear am?" he's 18 but whatever. she goes, "the first time i ever masturbated was to you as courtney collins on "hairspray." [ laughter and applause ] which to me, i thought that was a really innocent, sort of sweet thing to say. because i don't really think of that character or even that movie as being something that would elicit that sort of behavior. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> but she did. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> and his head snapped on a

swivel. [ laughter ] "what is my girlfriend saying?" "oh, i told him, you know, the hairspray story." >> jimmy: did you still get invited to the wedding? >> i did, actually. >> jimmy: at any point up on the altar, whatever, did you notice her looking over at you? [ laughter ] "oh, corny, i'm so horny." [ laughter and applause ] no? >> no, she wasn't looking over at me. >> jimmy: how old -- your son was 18? that's still too young. there's no age at which you want to hear that about your dad. >> no. >> jimmy: this is just a bad decision on this woman's part. how did your son react to that? >> with giggles. [ laughter ] yeah, he just laughed. laughed it off. >> jimmy: well, james mars sen -- >> someday i can hopefully be like my father! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: james marsden is here. he is the new president of these united states on the show "paradise." we'll see a clip of that right after this. we'll be right back.

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i imagine it's the first time in history a sitting first lady voted against her own husband. >> yeah. not the biggest fan of mine of late, my wife. you don't approve? >> those things will kill you. >> yeah, well. they can get in line. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back with james marsden. that is "paradise" with sterling

k. brown. i like to see a president smoking. i miss a president who smokes, honestly. >> time to mix it up. >> jimmy: did you base it on obama, the smoking? >> did he smoke? >> jimmy: oh, yeah, sure, yes. >> i didn't know that. >> jimmy: don't tell michelle, but he does, yeah. >> i like that, don't tell michelle. no, it was always written in the script. dan fogleman, who i think you know pretty well. >> jimmy: your executive producer. he's a very talented, great guy. he's become very, very successful. he was a p.a. for me on a show that i worked on. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i still think of him in that way. [ laughter ] >> that's good, that's good. he's getting a little too big for his britches. but he stopped me at the emmys a year or two ago. "i know we're not supposed to talk about this kind of stuff, business stuff, but i've got a great role for you in this show with sterling, play the president." i was, wait, wait "it's an unconventional approach to the

president. he's a very flawed, broken man. he likes to have fun. he's in a position he doesn't really want to be in." so yeah, it allowed me to have some fun with the role of president. >> jimmy: what can you tell us as far as the plot goes? because i don't want to ruin anything. and it's tricky, because it -- there is something there that is -- undercurrents happening on the show? >> yes, yes, a lot of twists and turns. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> shrouded in mystery, yeah. it's this community that's populated by some of the world's most prominent individuals. there's a murder that takes place. it's me. >> jimmy: yeah, you get murdered. >> i get killed. spoiler. and sterling is my main detail, my secret service man. and he becomes a suspect as well. but that just becomes the tip of the iceberg into this world that starts to unfold. >> jimmy: when dan approached you at the emmonth excess told you he had a role for you did he mention he would be killing you almost immediately? [ laughter ] >> he wouldn't have snared me

with that one. that's pretty much all i did on "westworld." >> jimmy: you played a dead guy a whole bunch of times. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i looked it up. >> people like me dead. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "westworld" you mentioned. "in the line of duty." the one with -- you were shot. >> yes, i was shot. >> jimmy: "two guns." "the best of me." "tour de pharmacy." "dead to me." you were dead in all of those. >> dead, dead. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: why do you think that is? [ cheers and applause ] >> i die. it's what i do. the butler, kennedy. >> jimmy: you might be the most dead actor of all. [ laughter ] that's a lot of times to be dead in a thing. >> it is. >> jimmy: what's the key to playing dead? [ laughter ] >> um -- [ laughter ] shall i do it for you right here? >> jimmy: if you want, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> holding your breath. >> jimmy: holding your breath? >> you've got to hold your breath for a long period of

time. and i was a navy s.e.a.l. once. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you've learned that skill? >> learned the skill. but yes, you got to lay there. it's nice. when you know the days you have to be dead, you just get to lay there. >> jimmy: right. >> no faffing about, everybody trying to learn their lines. >> jimmy: is it poor form to go to sleept? i would go right out. >> you do start breathing when you're asleep. >> jimmy: no snoring is allowed? >> no snoring. if you love a good dead guy, go check out the show. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're the guy, all right. "paradise" premieres next tuesday on hulu, and there will be a special airing next wednesday night right here on abc. james marsden, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with fortune feimster. [birds chirping as wind softly blows] [coffee cherries dropping into basket] [smooth taps of flowing coffee cherries] [clicking of coffee beans falling] [soft crackling of roasting coffee beans] [ringing of coffee beans on metal] [low roar of churning coffee beans] [rattle of barista pouring coffee beans]

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>> jimmy: hi. fortune feimster and music from hooray for the riffraff is coming up. it's thursday night, time to bleep and blur the tv moments of the week when they need it or not. it's time for "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> they laid out for reagan rug, nancy made for her husband, the sunbeam pattern on, the first one i [ bleep ]ed on when i briefed him. >> from the bottom of my heart, i speak for the president and all of us, [ bleep ] you, [ bleep ] you, [ bleep ] you. >> the former current and the current president wishing each

other well, [ bleep ]ing each other off. >> take a look at that [ bleep ] out there, whoo. that's just part of a big green [ bleep ]. >> by the way, he took more [ bleep ] today than joe biden did in four years. >> we did a rally with charlie kirk and the "turning point" guys. we got back on the plane. we flew up to san francisco. [ bleep ], [ bleep ] there. >> four years ago, like you said, we were so canceled. we were all [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. now here you are again. >> [ bleep ] is this friday and saturday at [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. lakelandpig.org. >> tonight i'm going to be [ bleep ] on the j-6 hostages. to get them out. and as soon as i leave, i'm going to the oval office and we'll be [ bleep ]ing [ bleep ] for a lot of people. a lot of people. [ cheers and applause ]

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>> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. we have music from here way for the riffraff on the way. our next guest is a funny lady who starts the year with two big projects. her stand-up netflix, "you're cordial invited" appears on prime video thursday. please welcome fortune feimster! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks for coming, how you doing? >> i'm great. >> jimmy: how's your mom doing? >> oh, my mom is keeping very busy. >> jimmy: is she? >> yeah, she called me up, and she goes, "i might have a new job opportunity for you." she goes, "i have a job opportunity for you at jersey mike's." [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: what? >> and i was like, i'm doing okay. [ laughter ] and she said, "i have an in with mike. not "the" mike. i met the regional director of the belmont, north carolina, jersey mike's and i told him that you are a comedian and they should hire you to be their spokesperson. so you might get [ laughter ] because he is going to run it up the flagpole. and if you get that job, i'm going to need compensation. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah, i was like, they'll pay in subs. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what kind of cut does mom want from you, do you think? >> i think she wants a new [ laughter ] she might have too t take a sub >> jimmy: in your special, which is very funny by the way, you told a very funny story about an accident your mom had at the cemetery. has she recovered from that? >> yeah, mom wants to go visit the cemetery.

and she realizes that a stranger has been buried in their family plot. [ laughter ] and she accidentally fell in this fresh grave. and crawled out. and couldn't get up. she's like, "i've fallen and i can't get up." [ laughter ] crawled across the cemetery to sit on the curb, to hoist herself up, and she couldn't get up. she ended up calling the fire department. i know. she goes, "this is ginner in feimster, fortune feimster's mother." don't bring me into this. they came and rescued. all they did is lift her up. >> jimmy: basically she reached out for -- >> lifted her up. i didn't realize when i told that story how many people wanted to know who was buried in the family plot. >> jimmy: yeah, i would love to know that. >> it really was just a double booking. [ laughter ] yeah. my family bought it like 70

years ago when it was pen and paper. at some point it moved to computers. they've sold the lot to another family. and nobody knew until someone died. [ laughter ] but like 20 years had passed. for a long time, it just sat there. then all of a sudden this guy just pops up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: has this been sorted now? >> no. >> jimmy: no. >> no, so our families might just spend eternity together. [ laughter ] i don't know how -- i don't know. >> jimmy: can i tell you what needs to happen? someone in your family needs to marry someone from their family. >> oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so that it is, indeed, the family plot. >> that is one way. >> jimmy: because that's very weird. [ laughter ] so everybody's like -- and how far do they go as far as who's got a plot there? your mom has her plot planned out? >> my mom's family has their plot, and i guess this was our family's plot. i'm like, i'm good, i don't need to be there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's enough room for everybody in this plot? >> i don't think so.

>> jimmy: i don't think so either. [ laughter ] >> i think we're going to have to share a casket at some point. [ laughter ] i just am excited for the sit-down with the other family. >> jimmy: you should meet them. >> like, "okay, guys, we got to work this out." >> jimmy: yeah. >> "you can have two over here, we'll have two over here." [ laughter ] "call it a day." >> jimmy: wow, that is weird. >> really weird. >> jimmy: that is really, really strange, yeah. >> that's my mom. she gives me a lot of content. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> and she's going to need compensation. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when did you move away from home? [ applause ] like, when did you move to l.a.? >> i moved to l.a. -- i know i look really young. i wear a lot of dreams. [ laughter ] 21 years ago i moved to l.a. >> jimmy: you did. and you came out here to get an acting job, i assume? or to start doing stand-up? >> no, just kind of life experience. i found out it was hard to make friends here. so i ended up taking improv

classes at the groundlings. a lot of "snl" people have been there. my teachers just kept encouraging me. and it quickly grew into a passion. >> jimmy: how long were you there? >> six years. i was there and did a year and a half in their sunday company. he'd put on a show every sunday night. >> jimmy: that's some of the best, the cream of the crop, right? >> the cream of the crop, then there's the main company, yeah. >> jimmy: all the talent agents and the people will come, and they'll see that sunday show. >> yeah, because there's so many talented people there. we would get a lot of that. we would also get some cool, famous people every now and then. >> jimmy: like who? >> lawrence fishburne came to a show. >> jimmy: nice. >> the one that stood out to me was james gandolfini came. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah, he's appraising. [ laughter ] he was such an amazing guy. and we went out to eat afterwards. and he came -- because he knew one of the guys in the company. and we were broke. we all had, like, no money. and we ordered food, and the waitress comes after a meal and brings us all another drink, and

she said, "your meal's on james gandolfini, also here's a second round." we're like, oh, my god, that's so cool! [ laughter ] none of us can barely afford our meal. i went up to him to just say, "james, that was so cool, thank you so much." and he gave me this big bear hug. and he was like, "you're welcome, you're so funny." [ laughter ] and i turned into a dainty, delicate flower. i was like, ha ha ha! oh, my god! [ laughter ] i turned straight like this. [ laughter ] he was so charismatic. [ applause ] i will never forget that. >> jimmy: that's a great story. >> thank you, james! >> jimmy: you got -- now, i mean -- this movie is like -- it's an all-star -- really a very funny cast. >> really funny cast. will ferrill, reese witherspoon. so many funny people. i got to pop in, like i do in a lot of movies, and be insane.

>> jimmy: right, yeah, yeah. >> which is fun for me. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and you know, i've worked with reese before. this is my first time working with will. and he's a groundlings guy. always looked up to him. >> jimmy: always funny and one of the kindest guys you'll ever meet. >> so amazing. and i was so happy to just get to be around him. we had dinner one night in the hotel. we film in a town outside atlanta at lake. we went to this sports bar in the hotel. it was like will ferrell, nick jonas, our director, a bunch of the actors. no one was in the sports bar. we were having dinner. halfway through it got really loud. i turn ad round, and half the town is staring at will ferrell and nick jonas, just having a beer. [ laughter ] looking at them like, sup, sup? and i'm like, oh, my god, will, how are you going to get out of here? you're going to get mobbed. and he's like, "i got this." he gets on his cell phone and he

goes, "what's that? what happened to your cat? no! guys, i've got to go, there's something happening with the cat." he walks past 100 people. "what's happening with the cat?" they're like, "what's happening with the cat?" no one bothers him, he just leaves. and no one's offended. they're just like, "we hope the cat's okay!" [ applause ] >> jimmy: is the cat okay? >> well -- so the next day i'm filming with him. i'm like, this is it, he and i are going to become best friends. we were talking for a while. i'm like, "we've gotten to the point in our friendship where i can ask for his phone number. "is it time, should we, i don't know, exchange digits?" he gets his cell phone out, "what happened to the cat?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: fortune feimster, everybody. "crushing it" is on netflix and the movie "you're cord i can't

live invited" premieres on prime video a week from today. thank you, fortune. we'll be back with hooray for the riff raff.

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james marsden and fortune feimster. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next. but first, their album is called "the past is still alive." here with the song "snake plant," hooray for the riff raff! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ snake plants florida water i only wanted ever be a good daughter ♪ ♪ soft hands gold rings try to remember most everything ♪ ♪ like feeding grapefruits to the cows hold my belly while i'm laughing out loud ♪ ♪ a bathing suit on a two-day drive malaria you can't sleep at night ♪ ♪ lemon tree and a mango for the baby ♪ ♪ record player you can call me sister sadie ♪ ♪ gonna cut a rope and tie her to the tree when the hurricane comes hurricane comes ♪

♪ i know your face i know your smell i know that you were living in hell ♪ ♪ pee in the bushes while i wait for a train under the bridge when it starts to rain ♪ ♪ i never got to ride the sunset route but i drank enough a hundred proof ♪ ♪ campfire on the superfund site garbage island floating in the moonlight ♪ ♪ play my song for the barrel of freaks and we go shoplifting when it's time to eat and ♪ ♪ they don't even really know my name i'm so happy that we escaped from where we came ♪ ♪

♪ tattoo with a needle and thread most of our old friends are dead ♪ ♪ so test your drugs remember narcan there's a war on the people what don't you understand ♪ ♪ there's fentanyl in everything don't become an angel with a broken wing, oh ♪ ♪ we need you back down here on earth and nothing is as painful as birth, well ♪ ♪ time flies when you're getting old but i was born with a baby boy soul ♪ ♪ maybe someday i'll see you again in a field, a war a kingdom of sand and ♪ ♪ maybe we could smile again, oh maybe we could dance again ♪ ♪ i'd kiss your lips i'd hold your hands, oh maybe we could dance again, well ♪ ♪ i was young when i left home

i never stopped running used to think i was alone ♪ ♪ but nothing will stop me now nothing will stop me now ♪ ♪ oh, nothing will stop me now well, nothing can stop nothing can stop me now ♪ [ cheers and applause ]