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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 5, 2025 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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all of us. we appreciate your time. jimmy kimmel is up next with walton goggins and mike epps. >> have a >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- walton goggins, mike epps, and music from balu brigada. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: thank you. thank you. hi, everybody. thanks. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming out to see us here -- please, relax. [ cheers and applause ] it's a rare, rainy day here in los angeles. did you wear your cute boots to work today? >> guillermo: of course, jimmy, of course. >> jimmy: it's a great opportunity to wear your cute boots. today is ash wednesday. it's a bummer when it rains on ash wednesday. you don't even get credit. the ash washes right off your head. [ laughter ] i like to fill in the smudge with a sharpie to make sure my mother sees and it sticks. [ laughter ] this year for lent, we are giving up democracy here in this country. [ laughter ] last night, donald trump addressed the nation. i don't know if you heard, but he's president again. [ laughter ] i was surprised, too. he spoke for 99 minutes with no intermission. it was the longest presidential address in more than 60 years.
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why is it that the orchestra can play off an oscar winner, but not the president? [ laughter ] trump's speech went on so long ten minutes longer than "the lion king." [ laughter ] true. and had twice as much "lying" in it. [ cheers and applause ] i was reading this morning -- do you know how many times trump lied during his speech last night? 11 million. [ laughter ] three fact checkers died adding it up. [ laughter ] not everyone was a fan of the king's speech. one gentleman on social media summed it up pretty well. he wrote, "that may be the angriest, least compassionate and worst state of the union speech ever made. it was an embarrassment to our country!" oh, wait. that was what trump wrote about biden's speech last year. [ laughter ] well, he topped it. there was plenty of biden-bashing last night. trump said biden was "the worst president in history." he blamed him for the price of eggs. he said a lot of crazy stuff, but this is one that stood out.
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as he pretended to be cutting costs and rooting out fraud, he made the claim that, under biden, the federal government was spending $8 million on this. >> $8 million for making mice transgender. [ laughter ] this is real. >> jimmy: no, it's not. [ laughter ] you hear the president of the united states saying we're spending $8 million to do sex change operations on mice, you assume, well, i'm sure he's exaggerating but there must be something there. turns out, there's not. nothing there. the government spent money on transgenic mice, which are genetically-modified mice they use in lab tests to study disease. has nothing to do with being transgender. [ laughter ] other than the "trans" part of the word. do you think they know this and just ignore it, or are they so dumb they don't know how to google? [ laughter ] maybe they think we're so dumb, we don't know how to google. i don't know. "they're turning mickeys into minnies, and minnies into mickeys!" [ laughter ]
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no, they're just trying to cure dementia and heart disease, which you would think trump would be for, seeing as how they are both coming for him real soon. [ cheers and applause ] marco rubio, who gave up his job as senator to become secretary of state, he's the guy who looked like he was about to cry last week during that meeting with zelenskyy. he got a shout-out from the president as trump boasted about conquering many new and exciting canals. >> to further enhance our national security, my administration will be reclaiming the panama canal. and we've already started doing it. just today, a large american company announced they are buying both ports around the panama canal. we gave to it panama, and we're taking it back. and we have marco rubio in charge. good luck, marco. now we know who to blame if
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anything goes wrong. >> jimmy: yeah, he'll be the first to go. [ laughter ] he's the first one fired, he's done. call random house, little marco has a book to pitch real soon. [ laughter ] the democrats did not give the president much last night. they did not applaud. and, of course, he whined about that afterwards. but republicans more than made up for it. can you imagine going into a room and being forced to stand up and applaud for somebody? oh, that happened here tonight? [ laughter ] it's different for me. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] oh, there. every time when the president is stand until front of his party, it isn't unusual for them to support, to slobber over every word ask clap like a bunch of seals eating sardines. [ laughter ] but the adulation for this man, who by every inside account is considered by most of them to be an imbecile. [ laughter ]
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but when the cameras are on -- man, oh man. they cannot get enough of every thing he says. >> we are going to conquer the vast frontiers of science, and we're going to lead humanity into space and plant the american flag on the planet mars and even far beyond. this is a time for big dreams and bold action. i will do away with red traffic lights, only green from now on. keep it moving. america's momentum is back. our spirit is back. and measles are back. we love our measles, don't we? little spots. pink, pink, pink! so cool, so itchy. i've had them on my balls. big, big. i also signed an executive order to ban women from having their periods. it's demeaning for women, and it's very bad for our country. melania says it's that time of the month, all month. she's fantastic.
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so much menstruation, melania. thank you, god bless you, and god bless america. clap, buttheads. >> jimmy: that's right, that's right. so then after his speech, congressman -- congresswoman elissa slotkin from michigan gave the democratic response. she was good, but she used the word "fraught" and that's not gonna work. trump is screaming "pocahontas," and she's saying the election was "fraught." that's our problem right there. the more powerful rebuttal came from 138-year-old bernie sanders of vermont. [ laughter ] whose response to the president was downright poetic. >> trump claimed that the 2020 election was stolen from him and that he won by a land sly. remember that? a lie. trump claimed that the january 6th insurrection was a day of love. a lie. trump has claimed that millions of undocumented people voted and
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do vote in american elections. a lie. trump has claimed that climate change is a hoax, originating in china. a lie. trump has claimed that ukraine started the horrific war with russia. a lie. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i can listen to that for an hour. [ laughter ] that is the vermont version of a diss track. [ laughter ] bernie is lichen district lamar in orthopedic shoes. [ cheers and applause ] "this drake character, he's tryna strike a chord and it's probably a minor." [ laughter ] and then we have the next generation of democrats. you know, everyone says the democrats are too passive. too nice. play by the rules. they eat pop chips without any dip. [ laughter ] but to those who say that, may i introduce you to representative jasmine crockett from the great state of texas. >> this is no what we should be doing. i don't know why we're fighting with greenland, fighting with
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canada, fighting with mexico. yeah, we in love with putin? what is happening? like, this is not america. this is a terrible nightmare. somebody slap me and wake me the [ bleep ] up, 'cause i'm ready to get on with it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's more in line. crockett givin it to tubbs. [ laughter ] there are now at least 159 cases of measles in texas. it has also spread to georgia, kentucky, new york, california. it's all over the studio right now. [ laughter ] and today, we learned that florida has joined the outbreak club. but don't worry, our secretary of health and human services is all over it. rfk jr. says, do not fear, outbreaks of measles are quote, "not unusual." and he's right, they're not unusual. they're unheard of because we eliminated measles 25 years ago. but now, for a limited time only, they're back! [ laughter ] the outbreak in texas just so happens to be spreading in an area with a largely unvaccinated population.
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what are the odds? i don't know. [ laughter ] and that puts bobby brainworm in a tough spot. he wrote an op-ed saying, "vaccines not only protect individual children from measles, but also contribute to community immunity, protecting those who are unable to be vaccinated due to medical reasons." okay, good. all true. but -- and there's always a but -- "the decision to vaccinate is a personal one." right. listen. so is the decision to work out shirtless in jeans. [ laughter ] doesn't mean it's a good decision. you can't stop measles unless everybody gets vaccinated. the top spokesperson for the department of health and human services has already resigned over his boss' handling of the outbreak. you know things are bad when a guy who was willing to work for rfk is no longer willing to work for rfk jr. [ laughter ] they're having a lot of personnel issues at the hhs. this is their leadership structure right now. this is from their official website. you have rfk jr. at the hop. hhs secretary. below him -- "deputy secretary -- vacant."
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which i have more faith in "deputy secretary, vacant" than i do in rfk. [ applause ] robert kennedy jr has admitted to having flown on jeffrey epstein's private plane at least twice, which is a conundrum for the conspiracy crowd that loves him. attorney general pam bondi, who promised a "truckload" of new epstein information, now says the next batch of files may be redacted for national security reasons. national security reasons? i know he had a plane. did jeffrey epstein have a ufo they flew on too? [ laughter ] who could possibly be implicated that plays a role in our national security? >> would you declassify the 9/11 files? >> yeah. >> would you declassify jfk files? >> yeah. i did a lot of it. >> would you declassify the epstein files? >> yeah, yeah, i would. i guess i would. >> jimmy: i wish i could see the little hamster wheel turning in his head right then. [ laughter ] "get me my sharpie! i may need to redact some things!"
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let's be honest, the reason this is taking so long is because trump and jeffrey epstein spent more time on planes together than the wright brothers. [ laughter ] they will release diddy before they release all the epstein files unredacted. [ laughter ] one thing they are releasing is thousands of federal workers. elon and the doge bros have been reportedly using a.i. to decide which federal employees to fire, which is interesting, because someone used elon's own a.i. engine, which is called grok, to answer the following question. they wrote -- "what is the likelihood, from 1-100 that trump is a putin compromised asset? use all publicly available information from 1980 on." and this is the response from elon's a.i. -- "weighing the decades-long, opaque, and substantial financial ties, intelligence suggesting russian intent, and trump's unwavering refusal to criticize putin despite attacking allies tilt the scale. the lack of transparency -- e.g., hiding tax returns, seizing interpreter notes after
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putin talks —- amplifies suspicion. no smoking gun proves direct control, but the 'useful idiot' scenario, where trump's ego and debts make him unwittingly pliable, fits the evidence. adjusting for uncertainty and alternative explanations -- i.e., ideological alignment or naivety, i estimate a 75-85% likelihood trump is a putin-compromised asset, leaning toward the higher end due to the consistency of his behavior and the depth of historical ties." well, i mean, that's good enough to fire somebody? grok him up! [ cheers and applause ] 85% is very high. then we learned today that trump is cutting off both weapons and military intelligence to ukraine. so, maybe we bump that up to 90%? more than 30,000 federal employees have been fired by elon musk and doge so far. he's taken his dumb chainsaw to the va, the health and human services, defense department, state department, education, energy, agriculture, the cdc, the faa, the irs, maybe most
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inexplicably of all, the national park service. one of the best things about this country is our national parks. [ cheers and applause ] they are a gift to all of us. and that is largely thanks to the people who devote their lives to protect and maintain them for very little pay. i want to introduce you to one of those people. this guy just lost his job at yosemite national park for no good reason, courtesy elon and the doge bros. please say hello to the newly unemployed nate vince. come on out, nate. that's where nate works. this is nate. welcome, thank you for coming. nate, you were the sole locksmith at yosemite national park? >> that's correct. >> jimmy: 750,000 acres, you're the only guy that's there to get somebody out if they get trapped in the bathroom? >> there's other people with keys, but if those locks are to fail, those people are screwed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: those people will be in the bathroom the rest of their lives. what are the chances we could
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trick elon musk into going into one of those bathrooms? >> i don't know, with a bear is what i propose. but i don't know what the trick is. getting him to go to the park would be a challenge. >> jimmy: how did you find out that you were being let go? >> email. >> jimmy: you had no idea it was coming? >> no. >> jimmy: you hadn't done anything wrong? >> no. >> jimmy: you hadn't been warned, anything? >> no. >> jimmy: you've been actively protesting these firings of yourself and your co-workers. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you are the guy who hung this -- did you see this in the news -- that flag hung upside down, a distress signal. [ cheers and applause ] you hung that flag. >> a group of us, yeah. >> jimmy: a group of you. you guys have been protesting, organizing protests. what we wanted to do, there's only so much we can do. we want to give you a little job so you can make a little bit of money during this time. >> okay. >> jimmy: what i would love you to do if you would be so kind, we've not had a locksmith on staff at our show. we would like you to put a lock on the mini bar in guillermo's dressing room.
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[ laughter ] we're worried he may be drinking too much. guillermo, would you mind showing nate to your dressing room? >> guillermo: okay. [ laughter ] come on. >> jimmy: show nate to your dressing room. thank you, nate. that's nate vince. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to check back on them in a minute. and we've got a good show for you tonight. mike epps is here. we have music from balu brigada. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll be right back with walton goggins. so stick around!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, welcome back to the show. tonight, a very funny man. one of our favorites here on the show. you can see live on his "we them ones" stand up tour.
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mike epps is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, a band from new zealand. their song is called "so cold." balu brigada is here. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, the great jennifer coolidge will be here, from "severance." the young lady who plays miss huang on "severance," sarah bock will join us. and we have music from coco jones. let's check in with nate, our now-former locksmith at yosemite national park. how's it going over there, nate? >> just finished up. >> jimmy: oh, great. wow, you did that with such ease, such grace. [ laughter ] guillermo, are you upset about this? >> yeah, this is not good, jimmy. this is terrible. >> jimmy: nate, will you make sure it's extra strong? because he'll gnaw through that lock like a rat or something, okay? >> yeah, i'll take care of it. >> jimmy: won't wrestle over the knife, guillermo. come on now. thank you, nate. we wish you the best. thanks so much for being here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest this evening --
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i think this is a record. he has two shows which you can see back to back. watch "the white lotus" and "the righteous gemstones" sunday nights on hbo and max. please welcome walton goggins. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> i am fantastic. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. boy, you're such a good actor. you really are. i could see why hbo wants you on two different shows. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you for saying that. >> jimmy: this is -- this is really interesting to me. because -- and i wonder, did you know this was going to happen, that you would wind up playing two characters in basically the same hour of television? >> no, i didn't -- i didn't know that. because it's never lined up that way before. "the righteous gemstones" has never come on after "the white lotus" before. >> jimmy: and you've not been on
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"the white lotus" before? >> no, i haven't, but i'm on it now. >> jimmy: you are on it now. [ cheers and applause ] i see this on my drive into work. they were taking down "the white lotus" billboard. this huge, huge billboard. and they're putting up "the righteous gemstones" billboard. and you were on both sides of the billboard. >> hey, there. [ applause ] >> jimmy: the stutus. >> proving that i have range, or borderline personality. >> jimmy: they're not mutually exclusive, they could be the same thing. which show did you shoot first? >> we shot "the white lotus" first. >> jimmy: "white lotus" first. >> yeah, we went down -- i think in january. we were down there for almost seven months. it was a really long, long shoot. and, you know, and this person that i play is going through a lot emotionally. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so it took a lot out of me. and i literally -- i went home
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for five hours on the way to "the righteous gemstones," and i told danny, i have nothing left in the tank. >> jimmy: it started that quickly? >> that quickly. i had to get on a flight from thailand, a couple of stops there, landed in new york, home for five hours, and then went straight to charleston. went into wardrobe, then the show kind of started. and the very first day i was there, i walked on, and i really had no idea who i was. and i'm looking at these ridiculous clothes that baby billy wears, right? thinking like, okay, i'm a grown-ass man, what am i doing here? the very first take, i only had, like, two lines. and danny, you know, was talking. it comes to my cue. i just look at him like -- i know nothing. i have nothing to say. i don't know my lines or anything. >> jimmy: i laugh every time i hear uncle baby billy. [ laughter ] it's so funny. being from the south, is that, like -- do you -- >> everyone's named uncle baby billy, right. >> jimmy: everyone's named uncle baby billy, i did not know that.
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>> uncle baby billy's bible bonkers. there's so many things. you can't say uncle baby billy without smiling. >> jimmy: danny mcbride was here last night. even after the show, he encouraged me to ask you about something in particular, which was, your character, uncle baby billy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: has another -- a nude scene this season. >> yes. >> jimmy: 70-year-old character. you play an older man. >> an older man, yes. >> jimmy: and they -- and full frontal nudity. >> yes, yes, yes. and i -- but i -- it wasn't like, i'm going to have a [ bleep ] double. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. >> that wasn't my -- my [ bleep ]. and i don't get to pick that, right? i don't get to pick -- >> jimmy: you should. >> who represents me. i think there was a time in the business where, you know, where that was a possibility. >> jimmy: why don't you get to pick? >> you know, i mean hare hr. something about, like -- [ laughter ] lawsuits and -- >> jimmy: danny said they can't see it before they hire it.
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>> kind of. i don't know if danny saw it first or a producer saw it first. you can hurt someone's feelings. they come in the room, you're looking at a photo, "no, no, no, yes, i'll take that." >> jimmy: there's a lot of anticipation for you when you see who you're going to be -- >> yes, when you're coming up to it. what i do get to do, and i'll tell this one story about after the scene was kind of shot. but what you do get to do for your [ bleep ] double is dictate your [ bleep ] double's movements, right? so it's the scene. it's my scene. and i have underwear on, you know, when i'm doing it. and the line that i have is, "this is what a man looks like." i'm sitting there, baby billy, he's like doing -- messing around, kind of moving around. he gets to this point, and the kids are like not listening to him. he starts taking down his pants. i've got my underwear on. he takes down his pants, then i start shaking. i start jiggling, doing this.
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"this is what a man looks like! a man looks like this!" the second take, i swear to god, i got a little emboldened after the first take. the second take, i walk out and i do the same thing. then i start using my hands. [ laughter ] and danny says, "no, no, don't do that." no one wants to look at your [ bleep ] double touch himself at all. >> jimmy: there's a line that you do not cross with danny. when the hands get involved, then it becomes obscene. >> you know what i did do. i will i say this. i don't know if danny talked about this last night. >> jimmy: the guy with no testicles? >> you know, yes. >> jimmy: he did, yeah. >> i went up to the producer after. he's the only person that can sit behind the monitor. you don't want to make anyone feel bad. it's okay, we're all trying to do this together, thank you so much for lending me your [ bleep ], i appreciate it. but i did say, "how was it? was it a good representation?"
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he said, "you know, what is -- yeah, man, it was great. but you don't have any balls." >> jimmy: the man came in, this is a man who volunteered himself for this job. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and he was sans testicles? [ laughter ] >> he was, yeah. he was. but you know what, here's -- i don't know if he told you this. i actually have two doubles. two frontal scenes in this. you may not have seen this episode. i forget what episode it is. i'm also waterskiing naked. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hm, yeah. >> at some point in the season. so, that was a different -- that was a different guy. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> the first guy didn't know how to waterski. [ laughter ] so i got two. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, i got two. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hooray for hollywood. walton goggins is here. we'll be right back. here on my land, not theirs.
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>> jimmy: that is walton goggins in "the white lotus." that was a really good episode. your character gets high. you then start freeing snakes. were those real snakes? >> yes, they were real snakes. all of them were real snakes. i don't just have a phobia. it's like a missing link when it comes to snakes. >> jimmy: oh, you do? >> i am terrified. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> of snakes. really, really terrified. and there's something genetically wrong with me when it comes to snakes. even those for rick hatchett, the guy that i play, these snakes -- metaphorically he's releasing snakes because he wants someone to release him on of his pain. that meant nothing on the day. it got so bad that i had a -- i had the snake handler, like, right off camera. because when i picked up the snake for the very first time, i started crying. uncontrollably. right? and then, like, right when the -- when we're getting ready
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to do that very first scene we just watched -- >> jimmy: you're really crying? >> hysterically. like, hysterically. >> jimmy: wow. >> it's like mike white is looking at me, oh, my god, i don't want to torture this poor guy, but we need to get a closeup. this really happened. you know, they kind of walked you through the entire experience. they were walking around the cages. they're like, "okay, this cage, don't touch this cage because this snake will kill you. this cage here, there's some snakes in here but don't touch the brown ones, right? there's some green ones in there, and this one over here, don't open this one." thinking about this, i mean -- all i'm thinking about is the very first cage where the snake will kill you, right? like, don't open that. the rest of it goes out of my mind. [ laughter ] then they yelled action. and it's like, okay, don't open the first one, it will kill you. the next one, is it green or is it brown? which one has a big, big bite? i started pulling the green one. as i was pulling the snake out,
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he didn't want to come, right? so the snake turns around, and he bit me. >> jimmy: oh, no. oh, wow. >> i haven't told that story to anybody. the snake turned around and bit me. i wish i could have been cool. i nancy myself a pretty cool guy. "hey, yeah, i got a snake bite." that was my reaction, i swear to god. "oh, my god, i've been pit by a snake! oh my god!" >> jimmy: i don't blame you, that's crazy. this is why danny told you not to handle your snake. [ laughter ] >> don't touch your snake! >> jimmy: did you have to be hospitalized? >> you know, i didn't. we had, you know, another nine hours to go or whatever. and so you just kind of stayed in it. they put a little, you know, neosporin on it or whatever. till the next day, you know, i get a phone call from the producer. i finally got it out of my system. it's like, you're okay. i get a phone call from the producer. "hey, you know, we've been thinking about it.
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thinking maybe you should go to the hospital." i said, "for what? you said the snake was nonvenomous. am i dieing a slow death? is there something you know that i don't know?" "no, get a tetanus shot, something like that." so i did go to the hospital. >> jimmy: in other words, they got a call from the lawyers at hbo. [ laughter ] >> that's exactly what happened. and they made me sign. >> jimmy: oh, they did? >> that was the thing, they made me sign that day, somebody just came up, i'm so sorry you're not feeling too good, look, could you sign this little bitty piece of paper? i thought, you want my autograph? is this like -- i just lost all of my rights. >> jimmy: they could have lost two shows' talent for hbo. thank you for coming. the two shows are "the white lotus" and the season premiere of "the righteous gemstones" on hbo and imagine being good to go without daily hiv pills.
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tomorrow night on "jimmy kimmel live," jennifer coolige, music from coco jones. we'll be back with mike epps. >> guillermo: move back a little bit. at? like you know to check your desktop first, before sharing your screen. ahh..that is not. uhh, oh no. no no no.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, welcome back. you know our next guest from two fridays but he's here on ash wednesday because friday we're off. [ laughter ] you can see him live on the "we
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themes us" comedy tour. please welcome mike epps! >> pleasure, brother. >> jimmy: you all right? you're feeling good? >> hey. >> jimmy: feeling good? >> feeling good. >> jimmy: you know, walton said his greatest fear is snakes. what is your greatest fear? >> i got two of them. the first one is the police. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. >> and then the second one is my wife. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. so these are not really fears you can completely get over, ever. >> no, you can't really get over them. >> jimmy: no. >> you know, how many guys are getting beat by they wife out there? put your hands up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you getting beaten regularly? guillermo raised his hand. >> guillermo: yeah! >> you get getting beat? >> jimmy: oh, yeah, it's bad. >> it's getting bad? >> guillermo: it's getting bad, yes. my wife, my mother-in-law.
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>> they're all beating you? >> guillermo: yeah, terrible. >> jimmy: he walks in the door, they drop from the ceiling. [ laughter ] mike, what is the "we them ones" comedy -- what does "we them ones" -- is this the title -- >> we the ones. >> jimmy: we the ones? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right, that makes more sense. >> in the hood that mean we the ones. we the ones that's doing it. we the ones. >> jimmy: look at this dummy, they put "we them ones" on the card. [ laughter ] and i sound more confused and whiter than would if i say the ones. are you the host of show? >> i'm the host of the show. promoter named blake out of chicago. >> jimmy: he's very good. >> yeah, he is, he's good. we got together -- >> jimmy: i made that up, i don't know blake. [ laughter ] >> you don't know blake? you know, what we try to do, man, we try to put on a lot of
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young comics. you know, i come from the world of def comedy jam, if you remember that. [ cheers and applause ] def comedy jam back in the day. that was a platform for us to do comedy. so we wanted to create some, you know, a little bit modern for that, that's "we the ones." we drive all over the country. this is they platform. they funny. carlos miller. country wayne. mojo brooks. >> jimmy: do you mentor these guys? do you help them? >> i do. i mentor them and take a percentage as well. a [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the best part of being a mentor. >> just kidding. >> jimmy: you were at that mike tyson fight with jake paul? >> oh, yeah, that was fun, man. >> jimmy: was it fun? it was horrible. >> it was fun to me because i've never been to a mike tyson fight. >> jimmy: you still haven't, by the way. >> that wasn't a good fight any just wanted to see the excitement of mike coming out
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the back. >> jimmy: right. >> i was having a good time till they put the camera on his booty cheeks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, that's right. he's wearing that thong. >> thanks, mike. they just jiggled away. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were in a movie with mike, right? >> i was. >> jimmy: were you guys friendly? >> yeah, mike's a good friend of mine, good brother. >> jimmy: did you go visit him after the fight? >> no, i didn't get a chance to go back -- i don't like to see people after they lose. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> what do you say? "hey, you got your butt kicked, man." >> jimmy: "you made a lot of money." >> "you made a lot of money, give some of it back." >> jimmy: in the movie you did with that, "meet the blacks"? >> i was in "the hangover" with mike. >> jimmy: "hangover ii" with mike. >> "meet the blacks," i play the black guy in that movie. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and he punches you in
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the testicles? >> he fake punched me. >> jimmy: oh. >> i wouldn't be sitting here now if he'd hit me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is he good at fake punching? >> oh, man. mike is one of them dudes, if he walk up and stand next to you, you could feel the power. he ain't got to hit you. >> jimmy: he's like a panther, right. >> you been around a panther? >> jimmy: no, but i've been around mike. [ laughter ] and i imagine it's what a panther is like. you're right, it's a bad analogy. he's like mike tyson. oh, i'm just learning, somebody's holding up a sign, it is "we them ones." you know what, one of us is wrong. it's possible you've been going around the country giving the wrong name of your show. >> i am, i have. i've been saying it. you know, only people -- certain people can understand it. you know, like white people, you guys, y'all sing when y'all talk. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> like, "oh, come
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"yaaaaah, woooow." >> jimmy: let's not blame this on me. [ laughter ] >> don't put it on you. i know that's right. >> jimmy: do you have hobbies? what do you like to do for fun? >> you know, i work a lot. you know, i like -- i find myself not -- if i'm making money doing something, that's a hobby for me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. >> i don't like to do anything that doesn't have to do with making some money. >> jimmy: that makes sense, that makes sense. >> i got a lot of kids, man. >> jimmy: are you even allowed to have hobbies? it's one thing to say, i've got to go to work. it's another thing to say, i'm going to go play golf for nine hours today. you can't do that, right? >> i can't do that. but see, the type of job that i have, even when i tell my wife, "i got to go to work." she's like," that ain't work, get the hell out. walk through the airport, seeing people, eating a side of --"
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>> jimmy: meeting a bunch of guys "you're funny, let's hang out." [ laughter ] >> it don't look like work but it's work. >> jimmy: technically work, yeah. >> that's work. >> jimmy: what else? you got travel? >> i get to travel. i like to go to casinos, too. >> jimmy: that's part of the job? >> yeah, that's part of the job. [ laughter ] it keeps me out of trouble. i get to go in there and gamble and look at old people with oxygen tanks sitting at the -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's not as glamorous as it seems like in the commercials, is it? >> it ain't. on the commercial they like -- [ laughter ] they got the dice out, doing that. you get in there, you see people just sitting there dead. [ laughter ] it was one lady, one of my friend's grandmother was missing for about a month. [ laughter ] they found her way in the back of the casino. [ laughter ] she was smelly and everything, flies flying around. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. >> same to you.
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>> jimmy: the tour we think is called "we them ones." it's either -- if you see something that seems like it, close enough, just search the name mike epps, not ike epps, right? "we them ones" comedy tour. ticks are on sale now. mike epps, everybody. we'll be back with balu brigada.
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>> jimmy: thanks to walton goggins and mike epps. apologies to matt damon. we're very sorry we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, here with the song "so cold," balu brigada! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ where do i begin does it ever end caught up in your headlights frozen again ♪ ♪ can you make it obvious just the one time guess all the mystique only works in your prime ♪ ♪ reasons to stay
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reasons to go used to have the answers now it's just too close to call ♪ ♪ what's left to say i can't be your dog you know i'm always waiting on a call ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ it isn't like you to be so cold pulling me in and letting me go ♪ ♪ it isn't like it isn't like you ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ say you might shake it off try a different road where does this one lead to nobody knows ♪ ♪ used to know you well now i'm chasing a ghost dancing with your skeleton's rattling bones ♪ ♪ reasons to stay reasons to go another thirty answers probably just enough to cope ♪ ♪ you're not impressed i should've known she knows it's over oh, it's 'bout to blow ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ it isn't like you to be so cold
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pulling me in and letting me go ♪ ♪ it isn't like it isn't like it isn't like you it isn't like you ♪ ♪ so cold so cold so cold so cold ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. tonight. switched before birth. >> we were just kind of numb and shocked. >> a medical mix up that seems impossible. >> this other family did, in fact, give birth to our genetic baby. and we did, in fact, give birth to their genetic baby. >> what happens when an i

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